Chapter Text
Y/n’s pov:
I’ve been with Kylo since he was just a Jedi in training, when he was still known as Ben Solo. I worked with Luke, not as a training Jedi, but as one of the people who knew most about the force, lightsaber crystals, and the power that can be obtained. The people of my planet knew much of the force, and the royals have served great roles in training Jedi for generations. As the princess, and only child, I helped oversee the training of the next generation. Kylo was mer months older than I, but even when he was young he towered over the others. It took him a few years to grow into his frame, but he’s done so nicely. I trust Kylo with my life, and I have since he started protecting me from the bullies from the school. Our friendship started out slowly, him reluctantly accepting my help in training. Over time we grew a strong bond. I don’t possess the force like Kylo does, however. It simply flows through me, even though I have a stronger understanding of it than most people.
The night he turned to the dark side I was the only one he spared. He took me with him to the order, making sure I was taken care of nicely. He still let me help him train, and my knowledge of the force has made me valuable enough to be named a Knight of Ren. I never go into combat, but instead help create plans and train the others. I follow Kylo around most days, helping with his large amount of daily tasks and keeping the other Knights in line. I don’t have a mask, but I still get to wear long flowing robes if I wish. I’d follow Kylo Ren to hell if he asked me to.
I don’t know when I started loving Kylo, but my feelings are so strong it’s amazing he or another force user hasn’t found me out yet. I learned long ago to mask my emotions and block my thoughts from force users, and for this skill I’m incredibly grateful. I have no idea how Kylo truly feels about me. I know he must at least care a little bit, considering he’s kept me around this long.
Today started out like any other. I rose early, dressed in a long sleeve black dress that exposed my collarbones, with two long slits that stopped a few inches above my hips, I finished the whole thing with a black corset. Was it extra? Absolutely, but I am a Knight of Ren after all, and it’s kinda our thing. I left my hair plane, before slipping into my shiny black boots. I grabbed my data pad before leaving my quarters. Because of my statutes, I get to be on the same floor as the other knights, only a floor below the highest officials, such as General Hux, the Supreme Leader Snoke, and of course the Commander. I send a message to the other knights, reminding them of the meeting that we must attend in a short hour. I checked Kylo’s schedule while I rode the elevator up to his quarters.
I waited outside his door like I always do in the mornings, waiting for my Commander’s orders. After a matter of minutes the other knights arrived. Seconds after their arrival the Commander came from his quarter doors, already wearing his mask. It was a shame, really. His face is so beautiful, even after that horrible scavenger girl scared him. I’ve seen the other knight’s without their masks as well, but no one will ever compare to Kylo in my eyes. We kept a swift pace as we went down to the war room where a new battle strategy will be created.
Once we were all settled in, the meeting began in full swing. General Hux started off by reminding Kylo and us knights of all our failed plans, and how we should stray away from those types of strategies. I simply rolled my eyes. He’s always trying to pull Kylo down. The meeting dragged on forever. Budgets, strategy, available man power, it was all taken into consideration. After hours and hours we were finally dismissed, with little to no progress. As we walked out of the meeting room and down to command, I rubbed at my temples, a headache in full swing was taking my attention.
Our time in command was taken up with brainstorming. We need new ideas to take on the resistance. The scavenger girl is proving to be more trouble than any of us expected. After another two hours spent over this matter, I couldn’t take it anymore. “That’s it. I’m going for a walk to clear my head,' I announced to the table. They all murmured replies while I stood and walked out of the room. I didn’t have a destination in mind, but I needed a moment for myself. I love working with Kylo and the other knights, but working with men for long hours is very draining mentally.
My thoughts started to fill with Kylo. How his hair moves, how his muscles flex when he trains, how kind and affectionate he can be when he wants to. My thoughts were so consuming I forgot to pay attention to where I was going, and ran into a figure taller than myself. I let out a yelp of surprise and looked into the face of the person I had run into. My heart dropped. It was the Supreme Leader Snoke. I sank into a bow before my master, realizing I hadn’t been masking my thoughts…
“Please forgive me, Supreme Leader, I was not paying attention. It won’t happen again, sir.” I kept my voice as steady as I could, not sure what would happen next.
“I’m no fool, girl. Your thoughts for your master show your very lack of professionalism and I will bring this to his attention. The last thing the Commander needs is a foolish person like you distracting him. Let us deal with this problem now. Follow me at once,” and with that painful message, we were on our way back to command.
My heart was racing. He couldn’t tell Kylo, who knows what he’ll do to me. What if he removes me as a knight? Or worse, remove me from the universe…
My troubling thoughts came to a halt as soon as we got to command. I’m not sure what I missed, but the knights were cackling with laughter, I even heard a few chuckles from Kylo. Hux had a sour face on, giving me the impression he was the butt of this particular joke. When everyone caught sight of who entered command, however, it went dead silent. Backs were straightened and focus was put back onto tasks. I knew the force users could feel the tension, thick and heavy, and by the looks of it Hux was able to sense it as well. I made eye contact with Kylo’s mask for a split second before turning my head to the ground and trying to stop my hands from trembling at my sides. Snoke began speaking, and I felt my insides twist and turn.
“Commander Ren, it has been brought to my attention that your knight Y/l has inappropriate feelings of affection for you. I suggest you deal with this at once,” he droned on and on about how foolish I was for thinking I could ever have a chance with my own master. Once he was done speaking, he stepped to the side to make room for Kylo to stand in front of me. I hated Snoke at that moment. I hated him for not dealing with me himself. I hated him for making my punishment public.
Kylo raised his gloved hand, and for a moment, for a wonderful and foolish moment, I thought he was going to caress my cheek. Instead I was met with the fierce sting of his hand on my face. The sound was sharp and loud. My head snapped to the left and my hand cradled my wounded face. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes from pain. There was a lasting burning sensation, and I knew Kylo’s hand must have felt the burn as well. No doubt a bright red handprint has marked my face. I heard a gasp or two from the other knights, just as surprised as me that Kylo would hit me. We had always been so close…
“Your feelings disgust me. I have never and will never feel anything but friendship from you. You do mediocre work and are the slightest bit knowledgeable than others. You are no longer a Knight of Ren. You will be from now on under General Hux’s orders. You are to have no contact with me or the other Knights of Ren. Do you understand?” His voice was stern, and my heart was aching. Not only was I in love with Kylo, but he had been my best friend for years. I considered the other Knights close friends as well. What am I to do now that I have no one? What will Hux have me do now that I am under him instead of Kylo?
“Yes sir,” is the only reply that leaves my lips. I have nothing else to say that wouldn’t make my life so much worse. Kylo and Snoke talked quietly as they left with the other knights following closely behind.I turned to Hux and walked to him.
“What are my new orders, sir?” I asked as steady as I could. I saw the smallest amount of pity across his features.
“You will be my new personal assistant. I have started to get overwhelmed with scheduling and keeping up with simple tasks with the new influx of more pressing projects. You will help me manage meetings and handle more tedious work. You will also be wearing a uniform instead of robes.” The part about the uniform was disappointing, but understandable enough.
“Yes sir,” was my only reply
“You can start tomorrow morning. Meet me outside of my quarters at 0600. I will have uniforms sent to your housing unit this afternoon. You will continue to live in the same place,” and with that, he turned on his heel and left command. I knew that Hux was going easy on me, and I greatly appreciate it. Today has been so awful that if Hux decided to be cruel to me as well, I wouldn’t make it through the night. I returned to my housing unit to take a long, hot bath. I sank down under the surface and rested for hours. I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror, and I had a purple bruise already forming where I had been struck.
My new uniforms were waiting crisp and clean on my kitchenette counter when I crawled out of my bath. They were all black. I had a long sleeve shirt, dress pants, and a belt identical to the generals. I was also given a coat that I could choose to wear. No shoes were included, so I’m assuming that means I just get to wear whatever. Overall the uniform was nice looking, and held a striking resemblance to the general.
The emotions of the day didn’t hit me until I laid down to sleep. Then, there was no stopping them. I sobbed for hours and hours, only stopping when I ran out of tears. I finally fell asleep from pure exhaustion, dreams being completely absent.
The next day I dressed in my new uniform, put on my boots, and left my hair as I always do. Getting ready for my new job was very similar, only instead of checking Kylo and the other knight’s schedule, I’m looking at the general’s. After overlooking the tasks and meeting I have to attend with Hux today, I exit my room and make my way to the elevator.
While waiting outside of Hux’s door, I hear the familiar sound of loud boots hitting the ground. My heart sank. I quickly averted my gaze down to my data pad as Kylo and the others walked past me. Luckily for me Hux decided now was the time to show his face.
“Good morning, Y/l. The new uniform looks good on you,” I felt the air crackle with force, and my confusion must have been obvious on my face. “You’re acting like you’ve never received a compliment before, Y/n,” there was a joking tone in his voice and I could help chuckling.
“They’re just so uncommon and I didn’t expect one from you, that’s all,” I waved my hand around as I spoke, and Hux and I started walking towards command, where most of our work will be done today.
The day moved on fast, and it wasn’t terrible. Hux is definitely going easy on me, which I greatly appreciate. I sat in on meetings with him and filled out forms that he was too busy for. Completing the tasks was easy, and it proved to be a good use of my time. When lunch rolled around I ate with Hux, and found out he doesn’t like many people, which I honestly already knew.
“You’re not as bad as everyone else on this ship, Y/l. I’m glad you’re my new assistant. Everyone else here is so unbearable,” and I was genuinely touched that he enjoyed my company. I need a new best friend, and it looks like I found the perfect candidate.
The rest of my day passed as the beginning did. When I returned home that night I still had a lasting bruise. I sighed before showering and getting ready for bed. I cried myself to sleep once again, but tonight I fell asleep faster, giving myself more rest than I had gotten in a while.
Everyday was a similar routine, and I wasn’t upset about it in the slightest. I worked hard with Hux and we became fast friends.
It had been a month since I had started working for Hux, and the day was going as normal. I was running around the ship getting things signed and verbal confirmations. I was walking down a particularly crowded hall when all hell broke loose. Five storm troopers started taking fire on the rest of us. It was utter madness. I turned and started running. I felt a slight sting on my side, but I kept running. I need to find out what the hell is going on here.
After a few turns later I felt safe enough to check my data pad. There was a message that went out to everyone on the Finalizer. “RESISTANCE FIGHTERS HAVE TAKEN CONTROL OF STORM TROOPER PERSONNEL, IF YOU HAVE A BLUE STRIPE ON YOUR BACK YOU HAVE BEEN TAKEN OVER” That explains everything then. I need to get to command. That’s where Hux will be, and I need to be by his side.
The discomfort on my side was growing, and started to feel like a searing pain. I looked down at my abdomen for the first time and my hand met the source of pain. I was shot. A hijacked trooper shot me with their blaster, and now I’m bleeding all over my uniform. Seeing the wound made the pain intensify greatly. The pain was almost blinding.
Ok, now I need to get to command faster than I originally thought, no big deal. If only I wasn’t three floors away. I started running. Running as fast as I could while holding my side. I felt sick with pain, but I continued pushing. The floors were littered with bodies, but I never stopped.
I made it to command after what felt like days of running. Hux was barking orders until he noticed my arrival.
“It’s about damn time! Where the hell have you been?” His voice was loud, and my brain was starting to feel fuzzy. I couldn’t focus well. It took me mumbling sorry before his harsh expression changed.
“What’s wrong with you?” His hands reached out to steady me, but I collapsed into his arms, my legs no longer being enough. “Oh god, Y/l,” His eyes found my wound, and they widened. “Ok, ok, you’re going to be fine. I’ve got you.” His voice sounded sad, and then I realized there was a very real chance that I’m going to die here.
He was about to say something else when he got blasted away from me with the force. I fell to my knees and saw that everyone had been knocked into the wall. Then there were people I had never seen before in front of me, talking to me. I couldn’t hear them though, I could hardly keep my eyes open.
Wait, I had seen these faces before. It was that scavenger girl. A rush of hatred ran through me at the sight of her. How dare she board this ship? How is she even still alive? I then saw another unfortunate face, the traitor. He was moving towards me and I didn’t have the slightest amount of strength to push him away.
He picked me up, cradling me to his chest carefully. It was almost nice, no one had held me like this in years. My eyes were getting harder and harder to keep open, and every word Rey and Finn were saying was too complicated for me to understand. The last thing I saw was being carried onto a ship before I completely lost consciousness…
When I awoke next it felt like it had been years. I was in a cell, but I was on a hospital bed. The rush of memories that followed this realization was painful. I must be on a resistance base somewhere. I wonder how long its been since I was captured. Why was I taken though? What could I be of use for? I felt around my sides for the blaster wounds and I was met with soft bandages.
I wasn’t in my own clothes either. I wonder how long it will take for the order to rescue me. Unless they decide I’m not worth the trouble. But that won’t happen, right?