Archive of Our Own

all his life, sunoo lived in a nice suburban neighbourhood in a house where the kim family resides—it's him and his two working parents in the house that rarely comes home because of their demanding job in the hospital as medical officers, so to put it plain and simple; kim sunoo is often sad and lonely in his empty house, but he's not.

why?

because why be in his own house when he can always go over to the house next door, where it felt way more like home with his friends since childhood, jaeyun and sunghoon?

jaeyun and sunghoon, they're the same age as him and they've known each other since...ever. life would be way more duller than now if the two didn't exist, he would be rotting in his house doing nothing.

you see, the two are a package, they're twins, with jaeyun being the older by a few minutes, and you would know because he brings it up often, maybe all the time, but he doesn't mind. most of the time, he is not addressed by his real name and instead is called 'jake', which oddly fits him just as good as his birth name, also because he reminds him of an adorable golden retriever.

jake is a very likeable person, he's always so kind, and caring, and funny—oh, not to mention unreasonably hot. god, that man is definitely something to look at, whenever he smiles or laughs, sunoo has to control his urge to scream, he has this raspy voice that just shakes his heart every time he hears it, and he has such a straight and sharp nose, and the cutest pairs of eyes that sparkle every time he asks for something from him, and he will always do it, he really can't resist the puppy eyes of his.

on the other hand, sunghoon, despite being his twin that apparently came out of the same womb around the same time, is not the same at all. he's a bit rude, he shoots his mouth sometimes and the bullets always land on sunoo. teasing him is his favourite pastime, and he'll make sure sunoo is fed up with him, then he fucks off, for a few minutes at most. he's also a bit of a narcissist, he keeps complimenting himself even for something that he didn't really earn with hard work—his looks are his number one thing to boast about, he would go on telling himself and others that he's so handsome, he's so sexy and all that and sunoo would throw up.

but he's not delusional, both of them are equally smoking hot, and that's why they're one of the most popular guys in school; and because of their two contrasting auras—jake being the star basketball player with his amicable personality and friendliness, and sunghoon being the top student in academics, the bookworm that is often more reserved and quiet at school, the mysterious one you might say—the school is divided into two fractions of fans, all so crazy in love with one of them, or even both.

it might not seem obvious (it kinda is), but sunoo is team jake, he has had a crush on him ever since third grade.
.
.
.
.
"oh my god, look at that apple pie," jake salivated as the three of them sat crisscross applesauce a few feet away from the television screen to watch their saturday morning cartoons together, that day, cartoon network is broadcasting an adventure time episode where a kind elephant baked an apple pie for the two main characters, finn and coincidentally, jake, and they ate the freshly baked pie together.

even in a 2-d drawing, that apple pie looks so scrumptious.

sunoo noticed this remark and with his crush-addled underdeveloped brain, he has decided that he would try to bake an apple pie that would satisfy jake's craving, so he went back after watching cartoons, (and being chased down by sunghoon till near tears) and racked the books to find an apple pie recipe to make which he found in a recipe book lying around.

he's quite smart despite sunghoon calling him an idiot for not fully memorising the time table yet, he measured all the right ingredients with the right tools in the right bowl and diligently followed the instructions to knead the crust, to store it in the refrigerator first while making the apple filing, to roll it not more than 1/8 inches (he thinks he eyeballed it close enough) and to put it in the pan and put everything together, sure his basket weave design was wonky but it's fine, looks shouldn't matter. he puts it in the oven and waits for it to bake, playing some games on the desktop in the meantime.

the pie came out burnt, you can smell the smoke from next door and that alarmed both boys to check up on him because they know he's home alone, and to their surprise, they found the charred apple pie and sunoo a few seconds away from crying, jake was quick to comfort him, hugging him, he's a bit touched that the boy made that with him in thought.

"this isn't an apple pie—what you've made is essentially charcoal, sunoo," sunghoon teased, but immediately regrets it when he sees the recognisable pout on sunoo's lips, he bursts into tears and he felt so bad that he took a slice of the black pie and bit it, pretending to enjoy the taste and resisted a gag when the bitter burnt taste of the pastry hit his tongue. to be completely honest, the apple cinnamon filling is nice, it's just that the crust was rolled too thin so it burnt, but he ate the whole slice, urging jake to eat as well to make the boy feel better.

the boy did feel better, and the determination to try again to perfect the pie drove him to try again another day, and it worked, his apple pie came out good, he gave it to the two boys, leaning more to jake of course, and they like it.

and because he knew they liked it, he started baking again, and again, and again, he tried making other pastries too and all of them turned out well-made.

because of jake, he discovered his hobby of baking! he does it all the time and he also slowly ventured into cooking, he really doesn't know what he'll do without baking, and that's why he feels like he owes jake big-time.

"ddeonu~" he cutely sang, rounding his eyes to show sunoo the puppy eyes, he always does that whenever he wants a favour, and yes, a favour he indeed had, he pulled a stack of books and hands it to him.

"can you put these books in the library? karina asked me to but i have practice now, pretty please?" he batted his eyelashes to him to which he obediently takes them, the weight of the stack was a bit too heavy for him, tall to the point where he can't see anything in front of him but he can't show it—he has to help jake. he nodded which made the taller exclaimed out in happiness, thanking him and running off.

they're actually really heavy, the high pile is wobbling even though he tried his best to balance out the weight and he's scared of it toppling in the busy hallways, he'll make a fool of himself, just as the unstable tower slides forward, sunoo braced for the mocking stares on him when he sees half of the stack lifted off by large, pale hands which belongs to sunghoon.

he sighs as he adjusted the books to his chest to help the poor boy,

"sunoo, you really have to stop being a dog for jake," he scoffs at the advice,

"that is literally none of your business, at least he treats me better than you, jerk," he retorted, rolling his eyes to the side as they start walking to the library side by side,

"none of my business, my ass—he's my brother, and he's clearly making you as his errand boy,"

"it's not often that he asks me for help, besides, who can resist those puppy eyes? anyway, i'd only do this for him, you don't deserve my time and effort," it's sunghoon's turn to roll his eyes, he puts back the stack of books on sunoo, making the boy panic, he whined.

"no—please help me, hoonie, i can't carry these by myself," he begged, fishing for sympathy.

"none of my business if you're so puny," he was about to leave when he saw sunoo's pleading eyes full of innocence looking at him hopefully, which made him cave in, he half-heartedly took back the books and continued their journey, sunghoon with shame.

everyone in the town, every single person and their uncles knows about sunoo and his undying crush and admiration for jake, and that is inclusive of sunghoon, who is a constant bystander because he is his twin brother, but the older twin doesn't seem to ever catch up to that, and he's unconsciously leading the boy on.

despite of his constant nagging about this to the both of them, they seem to be completely dense or deny it, even when it's obvious, it's expected though from the two boys, they're not as smart as himself who's blessed with intelligence since small. but seriously, this could turn really bad if something were to happen.

they enter the cold library where a girl with glasses resting on the tip of her nose was waiting, she saw the two students carrying the new books for the place and told them to set it on the table as she went to call her fellow librarians to help label them.

sunoo was a bit reluctant to thank the boy who helped him, but it is basic courtesy to do so, even when the boy is a big bully.

"thank you for helping," he mumbled softly, his lips jutted forward a bit as he does so, but it was too inaudible for the other to even catch, he doesn't understand why it's just so hard for the boy to thank him openly like how he does usually with jake. he pinched his fluffy cheeks, forcing him to squeak out a proper thanks, the smaller whined at the pain.

"okay, okay! thank you for helping me sunghoon, now would you stop pinching me??" he blurted out in an insincere tone, it wasn't genuine but it was enough for him, but he didn't let go of his cheeks, instead, gripping both sides and stretching them, laughing at his pained expression. he's so cute with his nose scrunched up and his eyebrows furrowed, he loves to torment him.
.
.
.
.

'sunoo~ hoonie's being a meanie!" jake cried out as he grips the sides of the boy's table, sunoo was talking to his desk mate, jungwon who is a cute boy with chestnut hair and cat-like eyes, watching the interaction between his friend and the school's idol whining to him. like a baby, sunoo patted his head, snorting at the mention of the younger twin's name. isn't he always a meanie?

"he won't let me copy his chemistry homework, i fell asleep while doing it last night..." sunghoon appeared from his back and tried dragging him away,

"dude, you literally copy every other homework from me, try doing it yourself for once," he grunted, prying him off from sunoo's desk that he's gripping, pulling him and the desk along as well, it's a funny sight.

sunoo giggled, pulling out his exercise book from his backpack for the boy to copy, he immediately let go of the table, resulting in him falling on the floor but got back up to retrieve the homework,

"thank you, ddeonu! i can always count on you," he flashed his smile with his pretty teeth on full display which sent a fatal attack to his heart, sending him to system overload with uwus.

"seriously, how come you always give in for jake, how about me?" sunghoon complained, pointing to his face with perplexity of the apparent bias of sunoo.

"because jake is nice to me!" he stuck his tongue out to him brattily, the raven haired scowled with annoyance from his childish behaviour, but he is still cute even if he's annoying so he let it slide, walking away behind his older brother to his seat.

"god, do you know how many people would love to be in that situation just now, sunoo?" jungwon said, sighing as the two guys went away, jake turned back to wink at him, shooting him with a finger gun, oh jungwon would love if jake copied off his homework. he just shrugged, yeah he's aware that he's considered quite privileged to have them as close friends, but it never really changed his perception of them, popular or not, they're good friends (not sunghoon)

that also means that he'll be competing with so many people for a hand in jake's love, that man's fans are literally half of the school, so the chances of him actually going out with him are slim.

"oh, sunoo, someone wants to see you outside," a classmate called him, pointing to the class entrance where blond hair was peeking from the door frame, he got up to see the person.
.
.
.
.

"sunoo? why are you here? did you finally realised that you miss me?" sunghoon swiped his hair back dramatically as he puts on a smoulder, leaning against the doorframe of his front door, he hasn't shower from morning but when the doorbell rang, he had an intuition that it's his favourite boy next door so he went to answer the door.

just as he expected, sunoo is on his doorstep, holding a jar of chocolate chip cookies that he made, he knows that it's homemade because he can smell it from his room when sunoo was baking.

"ugh, in your dreams. here, since you answered the door, can you try my cookies? i followed a buzzfeed recipe," he opens the air-tight sealed jar clasp and shoved it in his face, the delicious buttery smell hit his nose, he helps himself to one, biting on the cookie that had a crispy and firm exterior with a soft, gooey centre—just like how he likes it.

he nodded, continuously chewing it,

"this is probably the best recipe yet," he says, swallowing the pastry, tasting a twinge of a coffee aftertaste that just wraps the whole cookie-eating experience with a nice little bow, balancing everything out. he tasted everything sweeter when he sees sunoo's small but satisfied smile, his cheeks lifted up, making his eye smile appear, god, sunoo is just as sweet as his creations.

"you say that every time you try something i make, give some constructive criticism, i don't mind,"

i love everything you make because it's from you, but if i must say: the cookie is a nice golden colour and the chocolate chunks ratio is just right, you get a taste of chocolate with every bite, and the inside is chewy, but not raw, the cookie structure is firm enough to not crumble and leave crumbs on the floor, the taste is very rich, it's not too sweet, i love how you can taste the hint of espresso powder at the end so the taste is interesting and intriguing, not just a boring ol cookie, i love it so much, i love you—

"uh, it's...good?—what am i supposed to say? do i look like gordon ramsay to you?" he said, taking another cookie from the jar before sunoo shuts the jar tight and swats his hand, pouting with disappointment. he curses himself internally, ugh, fuck you sunghoon and your inability to honestly express yourself. he doesn't know why he just can't say what he wants to say to sunoo.

"what did i expect from you...anyway, your family can have this jar then," he hands the jar to sunghoon which he graciously took in, oh, he's definitely hiding this in his room for his own, he doesn't want to share with jake, even. he sees the smaller looking inside of the house, looking for something, no, someone, he groans inwardly.

"are you looking for jake? he's out for practice now," sunoo oohed, nodding. that's when he also saw the boy all dressed up, he's wearing a cream cardigan that covered his hands, giving him cute sweater paws—and he's all dolled up too, he can see the subtle shimmer on his eyelids with faint pink blush on his cheeks and lipgloss on his lips. it's impossible for him to get prettier than he already is, but he proved him wrong. he could imagine him going out on a date with sunoo dressing like this, his heart would literally stop and he'll combust into butterflies, but he's most likely just going to hang out with jungwon somewhere.

"looks like you're going out somewhere," he pointed out, spotting his ears slowly turning red at the tips, he averts his eye-contact immediately as if he wants to avoid the question.

"yeah...i'm going on a date,"

his heart dropped hearing that. what did he just heard? he meant spying on jake, not going on a date, right? no, but sunoo isn't that creepy, he wouldn't do that. did he really mean that he's going on a date??

"what? with who?" he asked, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"there's a really cute guy in the arts stream that asked me out yesterday in class, you might know him," a guy in arts, that he might know? that's pretty vague.

"you're talking to a guy with a million friends here, you have be specific," he rolled his eyes,

"i'm not going to tell you his name," he's racking his brain trying to figure out who the guy is, but sunoo already said good bye, and he can't stop him without looking nosy, so he just watches as the boy got picked up by a blond guy in a white convertible who he immediately recognised.

no, no, no, nishimura riki?? he is quite familiar with him, some say he's a creep, but those are just rumours that he's heard floating around, it could be fake—but he's not taking a chance with his sunoo, if it's someone he's close with, he would know how they're like but with a stranger like riki, he can't predict what he'd do and act.

he goes back inside to change and he's going to chase after them, he's not letting the naive boy in the hands of a possible heartbreaker.

jake just got back from practice, his brown hair still wet from sweat when he crossed paths with sunghoon rushing out after taking the car keys from the table.

"hoon, where are you going? you said you'd help me with japanese,"

"well, i'm tracking down a japanese guy, i'll be back soon," he says before hopping in a car, reversing out of their garage and going in the same direction he saw they went, leaving jake with so many questions.

he saw the same car taking a left at a junction so he tailed them from a safe distance, letting a car in between them to not look suspicious, sunoo would definitely recognise his car. after a few minutes, they arrived at a cinema. the sun is already setting, if they're going to watch a movie, they'll be back by night, and he did say he wanted to tutor his brother. he's torn, but as soon as he saw riki opening the door for his date and sunoo hugging his arm, he said fuck jake and followed them in anyway.

he found out that they picked out a horror movie to watch together. riki, i know what you're doing, you brought sunoo to watch something with a lot of jump scares to make him cling on you more, you think you're so slick, huh?

he sat at a seat a few rows behind them, and the rows are mostly empty since they're quite high and far from the screen, giving him a clear view of the date. but he doesn't care, he's not there to watch the movie, he's there to watch over (read: spy) sunoo and his date. nothing particularly big happened between them throughout the thing, all he remembers is wanting to slap riki's hand off from sunoo when he did that cliche 'yawning and stretching his hands up and landing his hand on his shoulder' trick, to which he sees the smaller lean in him, god, he can feel the jealousy building up in him, he looks so comfortable with him. what he didn't expect is the story being intruiging, he kinda got hooked.

when it ended, he can see the date string him along by the hand out of the dark theatre room so he follows them out, he follows them back in the car and trailed their tracks, it's 7 p.m. now, it's dark outside but he sees them going to the opposite direction of sunoo's house which made him skeptic.

but all they did was drive mindlessly while talking and laughing, blasting the music loud and being rowdy together, he throws his hands up high as riki breaks the speed limit, zooming on the road carelessly and generally, having fun together. sunghoon can hear jake spamming his phone with messages that he can't see because he's too busy driving. he's jealous, to say the least; it's so not fair that someone could just ask sunoo out and have fun with him, riki's someone that is not even his friend, not even his classmate and he could do this, and have sunoo dress up all prettily for him and act cute and it just burns him up.

that's supposed to be me, hugging sunoo tight as we ride the night away in the city lights.

sunoo came back home after his wonderful date with riki, it was so fun, it definitely felt like his teenage dream to be very carefree like that, but in the end, he said that they should hang out more often even if it's just as friends. he thought he would feel a spark with him since he's so fun, but he feels like they're better off suited as friends.

he did meet a grumpy sunghoon just as he was about to enter his own house, he looks so tired for someone who didn't leave the house for the whole day.

"enjoyed your fun little date with riki?" he asks bitterly, he's trying not to show it but he can't help it, jealousy is following him.

"the date was amazing, he's such a nice person to hang around. he's definitely going to be close friends with me and wonie!' wait, friends? not boyfriend?

"did you just friendzoned riki?" he asked. the boy nodded, looking at him with his fox eyes.

"yeah, i just feel like...he's not my type?" he himself isn't too sure of why he felt no romantic attraction towards the boy.

but sunghoon was more than overjoyed to hear that, the jealousy was long gone—you hear that, riki's not his boyfriend! he's not dating him! he's not his type! but he can't let it show, of course. suddenly, he is curious to what sunoo's type would be, but no way in hell would he ask him straight to his face, this is something he has to find out himself.

he lets the boy go inside his own house, he must be tired after the date, riki probably didn't try hard enough, heh. after that, he goes back home, jake was watching the whole scene from the open door, snickering.

"you ditched your brother to spy on sunoo's date?" his eyebrow is arched to tease his brother, those teeth carved a mischievous grin.

"shut up,"

this gave him the awakening that now even with so many people wanting to date him, if sunoo does not even look at him that way, then it's ultimately useless, he has to step up soon before he gets snatched away, he took a cookie from his jar and munched on it while contemplating, swatting his brother's pesky hand trying to invade his cookies.

what is sunoo's type?

that is the question he also asks himself from time to time, what is my type? what do i want in my ideal partner? of course everyone wants a nice person, but that's not specific enough. okay, why am i attracted to jake?

huh, that's weird, he can't really tell himself why he's attracted to him at all. is it because he's hot? is it because he acts all adorable? is it because he's very caring for him? it's all so cloudy, all that he knows is that there's some sort of connection between them both.

but often enough, he finds himself imagining scenarios in his head where a guy would be all caring over him, protective but just a little possessive, okay maybe a little more than that. the guy would speak to him with the softest voice and he would look out for him and would always be there if he needs emotional support, someone that would hug him and compliment him, saying that he's cute or something like that.

ugh, how would he find someone like that, even the guy in the scenarios have their faces blurred out, guess only god knows who the man really is.

he goes to school, he goes to class as usual when he accidentally bumped into a guy with round glasses on his pretty nose bridge, knocking over his books to the floor. that was very embarrassing, he bends down to help the poor boy pick up his books, profusely apologising to the boy.

just as he picked up some of his books and stood up, the boy's glasses slid off his nose bridge on the floor,

he picks it up by the glasses' legs and lifted his face up to face the boy, and he's suddenly breathless; the boy is very attractive, he has a straight but delicate nose and doe eyes, his burgundy hair is parted to the side and it compliments his face shape.

he realises that he has been staring for an awkward amount of time so he walks closer to give him the glasses, sliding it in his face and perfectly fitting it through his ears, they lock eyes, it was almost alluring, his gaze.

"i'm so sorry for bumping into you," he apologised yet again, the boy shook his head.

"it's fine," he quickly assured him, the boy took a longer look at the smaller and was about to say something when sunoo was suddenly pounced by sunghoon from behind who immediately slung his arm around him and steered him off, prematurely ending the interaction. he even made sure to look back at the boy and threateningly widens his eyes as if to say 'back off, he's off-limits', he knows that person—lee heeseung—he has seen him around jake nowadays.

"what the hell was that, sunghoon?" he curtly asked, it was impolite for him to just snatch him away while the boy was in mid-talking.

"just trying to keep you safe, baby," he cringes every time sunghoon calls him baby, it used to be crybaby earlier in the days but the first syllable was slowly removed when sunoo rarely cries anymore, somehow he prefers the previous nickname.

sunghoon is starting to get more wary of him around other guys since he doesn't want sunoo going on any other dates with boys, who knows how many will it take for him to actually find his type, but he can't risk it, if he can't have him then no one can. as narcissistic as it may sound like, he just doesn't know why he can get half of the school to like him but not even this one boy he's been with from birth.

sunoo doesn't know this, but every year since elementary school, he would hide the love letters sunoo gets without him knowing because he can't really stand sunoo liking another person, him crushing on his own brother already hurts enough.

the truth is, that, while the shim twins have garnered the whole school to fawn over them, sunoo also has a lot of admirers, what's there not to like about sunoo? he's so pretty, and adorable, he's very kind and overall a very likeable person—but sunghoon called dibs on him long ago, even before everyone else, such a shame that he actually has no guts to actually confess.
.
.
.
.

"what are you doing here," he doesn't even know whether that's supposed to be a question or not, he's just surprised to see sunoo in their kitchen, mixing what it seems to be dough, he usually does baking at his own house.

"i'm making cookies again, jake asked me to because i heard a certain someone did not share the cookies i gave him," he glared at sunghoon, his black hair is all tousled up and he has the urge to fix it up, for such a gorgeous person, sunghoon really doesn't give a damn about his looks, he always says that it's because his good looks is enough to pull people, he hates that he has nothing to rebut because that's true, but he doesn't understand why people are blind enough to pick sunghoon over jake.

"jake's lying, i'm a nice person who shares everything," he says, making sunoo snort, nice? sunghoon?

"by the way, why are you always doing favours for him?”

"ugh, can you not bring that up,"

"but it's true, i keep on telling you, he’s just using you! he doesn’t even have feelings for-“

the front door opens with jake holding a tall and beautiful boy by the waist, laughing and giggling together, and as they turn to each other, their lips touched for a moment before tenderly saying goodbye with each other. he has never seen the boy so gushy with someone before, sure, he acts all cutely sometimes but this time, he sees something in his eyes, a look of admiration for the other.

sunghoon immediately checks on sunoo, hoping that he didn't just see that—but it was inevitable, he sees his eyes filled with despair, but he looked away as soon as jake walked towards them with his sparkly puppy eyes, bashfully simpering,

"hoonie~ oh, ddeonu's here too! my date with heeseung went great, like always!"

...like always? always, that implies that he's been on several already, and no one kisses someone if they're not dating.

so, jake is dating someone.

"oh, you didn't tell me you're dating someone, jake?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as cheery as possible in that heartbreaking situation, he kept a smile on his face as he kept on mixing the mixture until it didn't stick to the surface of the glass bowl.

"oh, maybe i forgot to—i met heeseung when i was practicing, the ball overshoot and hit his nose, i felt really bad so i offered him a date!" he explained, gushing over his boyfriend, oblivious to the feeble facade sunoo is putting on while listening to his story, it worried sunghoon,

"jake, go shower, you stink," he pushed his brother to the staircase to stop him from hurting his feelings any further.

he goes back to the now stoic boy at the kitchen counter, frozen in place. he sighs, going to the boy as to comfort him, though he doesn't know how to, he's not good at showing affection, but he muster up enough courage to hug him from behind. soon enough, he feels slight shaking from sunoo from holding in his sobs.

"sunoo—"

"so you've known about it all along," he sighs inwardly, he saw this coming.

"yes, and i've tried telling you countless times but-" sunoo struggled out of his hold, facing him as tears slowly fall down his cheeks, his eyebrows are knitted together angrily to put a strong front.

"isn't this what you wanted? are you happy? you like seeing me miserable, right?" he said, breaking into a sob. it hurts him to see the boy like this, but he did try his best to tell him, but something in him just told him that he should've done better to prevent this mess.

"just admit it, you wanted to make me feel so stupid for liking him, but deep down i knew i was never going to end up with him, i'm not good enough, and i'll never be!" that is such a far cry from his intentions, he never did, he doesn't ever want to hurt him like this, he's better off left with the pain instead, and everything sunoo said was all untrue as well, he is good enough, he does deserve whoever he wants even if it's not him.

"no, sunoo, i never did and you—" he pushed him away, looking at him through his eyelashes that are glistening from the wet tears.

"save it, i don't ever want to see you ever again," and those words left him shattered into a million shards.

"...i understand," he said, oddly accepting, if sunoo doesn't want to see me then, it's fine, i wouldn't let him. he just hung his head low, defeated as the boy he likes storms out of the house.

sunoo doesn't want to see me anymore.

he lets out the biggest sigh yet, walking up the stairs when he saw his brother who has been eavesdropping the whole conflict, he gave him an apologetic smile which pissed the hell out of sunghoon, why can't jake just have feelings for sunoo and they get together already? then, none of this would've happen.

his brother was just about to say something when he grabbed him by the collar and yanked him up furiously, glaring in his eyes with an icy stare.

"if you were actually considerate of his feelings and stopped leading him on, none of this would've happen," he said coldly, harshly releasing him from the choking grip, jake coughed a bit from the relief.

he listens as his brother enters his room, slamming the door, making him jolt. a heavy feeling is growing in his heart, he doesn't know that sunoo has feelings for him, he really didn't notice since he's always seen him as a little brother instead, but he knows sunghoon doesn't, the feelings he has for him are real, and it shows sometimes, even when he doesn't know how.

he can't help but feel guilty, he is the root to the conflict his brother and his friend is in at the moment, and he's going to make it right.

next door, sunoo just entered his house after the incident, tears flowed nonstop without any signs of slowing down as he slides to the ground, back leaning at the front door, crouched into a ball as he continues to cry. it's peculiar, the actual discovery of jake dating a person did dent him, but what made him feel so bad is that he lashed out to sunghoon unfairly. after gaining clarity, he did realised that he has actually has given him hints and straight up confrontation but he was in denial, and he was also being stubborn.

he actually didn't know why he did that, even if he's emotional, he shouldn't let it out on others. what made him feel the worst ever is that normally he would fight back and always, unfortunately, win the argument, but he didn't this time, he took the jab willingly. why, why didn't he just fight back? why can't he start a neverending dispute like he always does? as much as it was annoying to deal with him, it was actually fun, fighting with him is enjoyable, but not like this.

"i don't ever want to see you again,"

if only he could turn back time and take back those words, to unspeak the spoken, he would, but he's sure that sunghoon won't even come a few feet near him now.

the door bell rang, he perked up, immediately the tears stopped. he wipes the remaining tears and snot with his sleeve and opened the door, maybe sunghoon came to push him back? or at least to cuss him out, but that's sufficient, he would take it.

it was not, and for the first time, he did not want to see jake at his front door, he has this awkward smile on his lips, he must've heard the whole thing, now that makes him even more embarrassed, but he put on a thick face, inhaling the aftershocks of the crying.

"sunoo, i'm so sorry for everything, i overlooked your feelings and didn't take it into consideration at all. and i should have," he bit his lips before continuing, he has never seen sunoo look so...un-sunoo, he's usually bright and even after crying, he would rebound harder than a kickball, all he sees now is empty eyes.

"i also should've told you about heeseung earlier so you wouldn't have much of a shock, instead, i relied too much on my brother to say it. heeseung's such a nice fella, you know, i love him a lot," he catches the look of annoyance from sunoo who's leaning on the doorframe and glaring at him.

"uh—i swear i'm not trying to rub it in—but my point is that i love heeseung, and i love you too, ddeonu—! but, just not in that way, i have always seen you as a little brother that i can actually care and tend for, and you are so obedient. you know how sunghoon is, he won't respect his older brother at all," he fake sobbed, lightening up the mood a bit. sunoo understands now, he only sees him a sibling, not romantically, that makes more sense.

"speaking of sunghoon, he even scolded me just now, i swear he was going to commit manslaughter by how angry he was at me," he looks at his own house, he could still feel the hold sunghoon has over him just now, he never loses his cool.

"he basically told me that i should've considered your feeling before anything. he really cares about you, you know?" he sees the embarrassed look on sunoo's face, guilt written all over, he looks down on the floor with shame, probably regretting everything. jake opens his arms for sunoo to hug, and as soon as he did, you can hear the faint tears.

"aww, don't cry, i know you didn't mean it," he rubs his back soothingly, calming him down, that's when sunoo sees the aforementioned boy from the window of his room, watching intently but as soon as he made contact, he closed the curtains in panic.

he really did take it literally when i said i didn't want to see him, huh?

he feels so bad, he made sunghoon think that he's at fault. jake saw this and chuckled,

"i know i shouldn't be saying this, but you should really watch him closely from now on...you would notice something eye-opening," he said,
sunoo just tilts his head in confusion to what he meant by that, what would he get from watching him?

but he took his advice anyway, and he goes to school the next day, trying his best to not look like shit since he cried violently yesterday, his eyes are swollen, not as much as before since he put a cold spoon on his eyes to reduce the puffiness but he could feel the swelling, and it made him a bit sleepy because his eyes are tired.

he had trouble keeping his eyes open even in the few minutes in first period, and he can't afford to sleep in this class since the teacher would throw a whiteboard marker at him if he did, but his eyelids are heavy, and his conscience is drifting off.

luckily, jungwon woke him up and discreetly slides a piece of sour candy he could suck on to stay awake, he's a lifesaver. he happily sucks on the hard candy, puckering his lips when the sour powder coating the sugar hits his tongue.

he remembers that one time when sunghoon tutored him maths in middle school, he's ruthless but when he got sleepy, he gave him the same sweet for a boost, and it worked.

he took a glance at the boy a few seats in front of him who was attentively paying attention, you really miss something only when you feel the absence.

the next day, he forgot his english textbook at home, he was panicking but then someone just so happened to have a spare lying around and lent it to him, but later in class he saw the twins sharing a book together instead having separate ones. did he...give his book to me?

after that, jake, yet again, asked him for help to send a stack of books to the library, he did see sunghoon staring at him but he looked away, so, he guessed that there will be no sunghoon to help him this time. as he was carefully walking while balancing the books, a girl named yuna help him instead,  and in the corner of his vision, he saw sunghoon watching him as he goes. did he send someone to help me instead?

did the sour candy came from him too?

he's been helping me from afar this whole time even when i got angry at him for no reason, and now that i noticed it, he has been helping me whenever i'm in trouble all the time, i just never really noticed it because it was overshadowed by his rough housing.

he feels a somewhat fuzzy feeling in his body after learning about this side of sunghoon, he has never noticed how caring he is for him the whole time they've been friends, he had a realisation that maybe he has misjudged his whole character all along. that made him feel disgrace on his behalf, and he should make up for it, he should really apologise.

when he got home, he noticed sunghoon went out of his house, so he took the chance and snuck in their house to meet jake, in his room. he lies down on the carpet as the twin lays on his stomach on his mattress, looking down at sunoo from the edge.

"sunghoon's favourite?" he nodded eagerly, the only thing he's ever good at is baking, and that's how he's going to make up for it. the older twin thought long and hard, it was really hard to see which dessert he really loves because that man loves everything sunoo makes, but there is a special something that he noticed throughout the years, that etched a small smile on his face.

"apple pie, he really likes apple pie," from his lying position, he abruptly sat upright with big eyes looking at him in confusion.

"what? i thought that was your favourite?? you tell me to make it all the time!" he hears him giggle, he leans closer to sunoo to whisper as if there's someone in the house at the time.

"he would kill me if he knows i told you this—but he always tells me to tell you to make it because he's too shy to ask you," he feels blush creeping on his face for no apparent reason, why would sunghoon be shy?

"i remembered the first time you made apple pie-" sunoo groans,

"can you both not bring that up?"

"no, it's crucial for the story. anyways, it was burnt, but he finished the whole damn thing, saying that it's nice because sunoo made it, the rest only got a slice out of it," he feels a nervous fluttery feeling in his stomach, he ate the burnt pie? he had made it for jake but he ate the disaster for me?

"he...ate it," he hummed as a conformation to that statement, finding his friend's disbelief hilarious but he shouldn't laugh in this moment because he feels the start of something new blooming.
.
.
.
.

the next day, around noon when the sun was almost on top on the roofs of the neighbourhood, sunoo rings the door bell of the shim residence with an apple pie fresh from the oven in his hands knowing that jake is out for practice, he's feeling antsy, he's bouncing on his tiptoes. he doesn't know whether this is a good enough apology gift, he keeps rehearsing what to say to sunghoon and the scenarios in his head often tells him that his face would probably be slammed into the pie or something like that.

but whatever happens, he hopes it's at least one step closer to getting his forgiveness, even if it means his painstaking effort and love poured into making the pastry would be destroyed.

as planned, sunghoon opens the door to see sunoo holding up a pie in his hands, he knows he should run because the boy obviously didn't come for him, but he can't, his feet are glued on the tiles, after a few days of no sunoo interaction, he has finally gotten him on his front door, he finally got a good look of the boy he missed dearly.

the boy hands him the apple pie, he could smell the scrumptious aroma of the cinnamon apple and the flaky crust, but sunoo recognises it as jake's favourite, so he should save it for his brother.

"this is for you," he's stunned, but he kept a straight face, he shouldn't wear his heart on his sleeve when he's going to get hurt anyway. he hears sunoo clearing his throat, looking at him in the eye.

"sunghoon, i'm sorry. i said some things i didn't mean to you, and i blamed you for something that you tried so hard to stop from happening, it wasn't your fault that i had to find out about jake like that, and i realised that maybe the brotherly love i had for jake is something i've mistaken for love the whole time—but i can't afford to lose both of you in my life, you guys mean so much to me," he said, he was hesitant at first, but he realised that he should just say everything that was on his mind and overall clear things up between them.

"so, i baked this just for you, as an apology gift, and as a big thanks for being such a good brother to me," he finished off with a small smile, that smile looks so good on him.

sunghoon nodded blankly, not really fully registering what he said, he just assumed that it's an apology and accepted it, sunoo didn't even have to apologise to him, he has been an asshole to him for the longest time ever. he carefully retrieved the pie from his hands and puts in in the remaining space on the table full of scattered house keys and car keys. the boy awkwardly excused himself and turned back, only then he realised what the smaller said,

"thanks for being such a good brother to me,"

wait, no!

he catches sunoo's wrist in time just before he started walking and pulled him back harshly, not caring that it might hurt because he doesn't want to let him go just yet, it's now or never.

"sunoo, i'm not your brother!" he shouted, it came out a bit angrier than he expected, sunoo just has his eyes rounded in shock.

"jake might be your brother but not me, i've never seen you in that way, ever," sunoo tilted his head out of confusion, he probably thinks that sunghoon's still mad, why did i have to word it like that? he's never good at speaking his mind, but he'll try, just for sunoo.

"what i meant to say is that—uh—pick me! choose me over my brother, because, because—i love you!" he's a stuttering mess, he's so embarrassed, but a huge weight lifted off his shoulders, he finally said what he have always wanted to say.

sunoo couldn't fathom anything in that moment, he couldn't believe what sunghoon had just said out loud, but he knows he's not kidding when he sees the intensity in his eyes as the aura looms over him, his heart is beating so fast from his gaze, pumping blood to his face, the nervousness in his tummy rises again.

sunghoon said he loves me?

that doubled, no, tripled his heartbeat, everything was so fervently vivid in that moment.

he realises the grip the boy has on his wrist, but he lets it there.

"what's your answer, sunoo?" the way he said his name made him flutter, in his eyes was only adoration, almost pleading and vulnerable, he has never seen him like that before.

"uh—uhm, oh, i..don't know? i'm still figuring things out and—" he tries to run away from him in attempt to avoid the question but sunghoon pulled him into his chest, securing his hands on his back as to imprison him.

"no, don't you dare run away!" he laughed as he mischievously grinned at the flustered boy in his arms now, he's taking advantage of his sudden confidence from dropping the love bomb, even if the boy doesn't reciprocate his feelings, he will still keep on loving him. he can feel their heart beating on each other as sunoo looks up to him with his adorable sparkly eyes with the subtle makeup on his lids, fuck, just imagine sunoo being pretty just for him, it makes him crazy just thinking about it.

"i...i'm actually not sure how i feel about you, you're not the same as jake..." he says, voice faltering from being bashful, his face is in such close proximity with his. sunghoon smirked upon hearing this, he releases his hold on the boy and instead, goes to cup his jaw, pulling his face dangerously close to his face,

"would this...help you decide?" thus, his lips landed on sunoo's lips, and the boy's eyes closed shut, letting him kiss him, he even stood up on his tiptoes, his stomach did flips repeatedly and electricity flowed through his fingers, but he melted as his lips were ravished by him, he didn't feel anything bad about it, he didn't even have the want to back away, he enjoyed it.

when he pulled away, he chuckled looking at sunoo who was even more red than before, he's sure that it was his first kiss, and he took his first kiss, that fact drove him to ecstasy. the smaller hid in his chest, shy from the intimate moment that just occurred, it's so endearing.

"you're so adorable, baby," he chuckled, caressing his hair softly, he could die in this second by how blissful he feels now, like his purpose in life was fulfilled.

the lingering smell of cinnamon and the apple pie reminded him of the moment that happened several years ago when he realised that he would do anything to keep sunoo happy, even if it means eating his burnt pie.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he gave sunghoon a shot, he seems good enough for a potential partner, not that he has other options.

that blew a fuse in the taller's head, turning him crazy, he really didn't know what happened to the old him, but the new one was pretty sweet. sunoo didn't expect a meanie to be such a softie, at school, they would still act like normal, though he secretly holds his hand, or peck his cheek, but he would still tease him and deliberately try to push all his buttons like before just to get a rise from him.

but he swears, when they're alone, he's the best. he wouldn't let go of him, sunoo would often have to be in contact with him in some sort of way, he would wrap around him and hug him from behind while he's baking, he would openly help him as well because sunoo told him that it was better to express himself openly, and so he did.

he would bring him on dates regularly, and he gets what he always dreamed of: sunoo always dressing up extra cute just for him and rely to him more, he would cling to his arm even while all three of them are studying together, that lead jake to bringing heeseung along too because he feels so left out now, he no longer has sunoo following him around.

clingy sunoo is the most dangerous thing for sunghoon's weak heart, at first, the smaller was quite awkward going out with him, but it's safe to say that now, sunoo has decided that sunghoon would be more of a lover than family. he would come over just for him, sometimes for no reason at all, he would just want snuggles and that's the cutest shit ever.

jake is happy now that his brother finally comfortable with openly being affectionate, though he can't ask help from sunoo anymore, even showing his puppy eyes won't work if sunoo is around with sunghoon because his younger twin would hiss and chase him away, saying that he should find someone else's boyfriend to rag around.

to say that they reconciled is not suffice, it not the right word because now, jake realised that sunoo has been coming to their house more, and instead of going to his room he went to the room across his instead to meet his younger brother, often bringing along something super sweet.

   -fin-