Work Text:
Flower Petals
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Eren has no idea how it happened.
At first, Captain Levi was mean and strict with Eren. Often berating the boy when an experiment went wrong or he couldn’t do chores properly.
He’d bark orders at Eren all the time, things from “Eren go clean the stables” to “Eren, go make me some tea.”
Eren never understood why the captain was always so cold yet so caring at the same time. Why split yourself into two like that? Why have two very stark contrasting traits that always seem to clash with one another?
When the members of Levi Squad died, Eren finally understood. He didn’t know exactly how long Levi was in the corps, but if he’d gone through what Eren just had, over and over again, Eren could understand his distance.
But Levi started acting differently around Eren after that. He started being more protective, always keeping a close eye on the shifter as Eren ran experiments with Hanji.
Once Eren defeated Annie, Levi would often take small moments to comfort Eren, knowing the boy was slightly traumatized by the whole ordeal.
Soon, the two had a routine. They’d spend hours with each other weekly; sometimes they would have tea and sit in silence, each doing their own thing, sometimes they would have tea and talk, or sometimes they would go on small horseback rides.
Levi would be the one Eren ran to if he had a bad nightmare. Levi was the one Eren leaned on when he had flashbacks and panic attacks. And it was Levi who would place a gentle hand on Eren’s shoulder when the boy was just having a bad day.
The two became close, much to the shock of everyone in the corps.
Mikasa hated it. Saying that the captain wasn’t good enough for Eren and that he was a bad influence. She often tried to get Eren away from Levi or stop Eren from hanging out with Levi.
Eren ignored her warnings, chalking it up to her normal overprotectiveness. Once again, not realizing her true feelings for him.
Armin thought it was a great thing. He knew no one from the 104th would be able to help Eren with his trauma, for they didn’t have the experience that Levi did. So, Armin was just glad Eren was getting help.
Things started changing a few months after Annie’s defeat. Eren’s heart would skip a beat every time the captain would call out to him. His cheeks would flush every time Levi complimented him. He would become giddy every time he went to spend time with Levi.
Realization hit Eren like a truck one night as he laid in bed thinking. He’d had a perfect day. It started off horrible, Hanji’s experiment went too far, and Eren ended up hurt. But it ended on a good note because Levi had spent the entire day at Eren’s bedside, acting as his personal nurse. Levi even read Eren a story to help him take a nap to heal.
It was like a slap to the face; Eren was in love with Levi. Head-over-heels, can’t-go-back-now, deeply in love with Levi.
Eren didn’t know what to do. On one hand, he would love to confess, but on the other, he was afraid of losing Levi. They were both in the military, in the Survey Corps, no less! So many things could go wrong! So, Eren locked his love towards his captain deep down in his heart. But Eren didn’t stop the hope that blossomed every time he was Levi. Maybe it could work out.
Eren’s hope was squashed when he overheard a conversation Levi had with Hanji. Eren had wanted to surprise Levi. Knowing the man had had a rough week, Eren had made him tea and was going to show up a little earlier than their normal time as a slight surprise.
Eren was about to knock on the door when he could hear voices from inside.
“Well, you’ve been happier, Levi,” Hanji was saying, “I was just wondering what caused it,”
“Nothing caused it, four-eyes,” Levi growled, “I don’t even know what you’re talking about,”
“Maybe it’s a certain someone,” Hanji ignored Levi, “Let’s see! OH! You’ve been hanging out with Eren recently? Could it be him?”
“Eren? I only spend time with him to make sure he doesn’t transform. You know, my job?” Levi sneers, “He means nothing. He isn’t anything but a dumb cadet I have to babysit,”
Eren could feel his heart shatter into a million pieces, the tea set he was holding slipped from his grip and shattered when it hit the ground. Tears spilling down his cheeks.
Eren couldn’t talk. He stumbled backward before turning and sprinting off, he was gone even before the door swung open, and Hanji looked out.
Eren made it to his room and sobbed. Sobbing his heart out as Armin and Mikasa pounded on his door, asking him what the hell was wrong.
His friends tried to comfort him, Armin trying to piece together the logic on why captain Levi would say that, and Mikasa being a little too smug for Eren’s liking as she kept telling Eren that he’s better off without Levi.
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It started with chest pain. Whenever Eren would glance at Levi during training the next day, his chest would get tight.
At first, Eren thought it was a pulled muscle from training, but as the day progressed, it only got worse.
The next day, Eren was in a meeting with Levi, Hanji, Erwin, and a few other veterans when something itched his throat. He asked to be excused and quickly left for the bathrooms.
Once Eren got there, he locked the door and collapsed to his knees, coughing violently until the thing itching his throat came out.
Petals. In Eren’s hands were rose petals. They weren’t red, but blue, the same color as one of the wings of freedom - the one that represented strength.
Sobs ripped themselves from Eren’s chest. Of course, he would develop a deadly disease from one-sided love. He fell in love with Captain goddamn Levi! He had no chance.
Eren knew what his fate was. If he confessed, Levi would just shoot him down, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to get surgery and lose his memories of Levi.
“I’m going to die,” Eren mumbled to himself, “I’m going to fucking die,”
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Hiding his condition was easy. At least at first, Eren would only cough every few days and always did it in his room, away from everyone.
Eren still hung out around Levi, even though the man had basically broken his heart. Eren cherished the moments they had together. He wanted something to think about once he lay on the floor or bed choking on flowers.
Levi started to hang around Eren more and more, asking the boy to help him with cleaning or paperwork, and Eren always accepted. Even if it literally hurt him.
As time went on, Eren got worse. He was coughing several times a day now. He was always tired and rarely spoke due to his voice becoming so hoarse. His healing powers didn’t seem to work either; Eren didn’t know if it was because his Titan abilities were tricked into thinking the flowers were part of his body or if his titan abilities just couldn’t keep up with the rapid growth.
Finally, there was a breaking point.
Eren and Hanji wanted to do an experiment, so Eren, Hanji, and Levi were out in the field. It was a basic motor function test to see how much control Eren had over his Titan.
“Okay, Eren!” Hanji and Levi stood a little away from him, “Let ‘er rip!”
Eren gave them a thumbs up, not trusting his voice, and bit down on his hand. He saw the flash of lightning and felt his Titan form around him before opening his eyes and seeing the world 14 meters taller.
“What the-?”
“Huh?”
Eren looked over at Levi and Hanji. Both of their eyes were wide and looking at Eren’s Titan closely.
“Eren?” Hanji called up, “You still there?”
Eren tilted his head in confusion and gave them a thumbs-up. Hanji put a fist to their mouth and looked up at Eren again.
Eren noticed that they weren’t looking into his eyes. They were looking at...his chest? Eren looked down and froze in horror.
Thorny vines wrapped tightly around the Titan’s chest; Eren slowly pawed at them and noticed that the vines wrapped around his neck too. They were thick and green, and the thorns were huge.
Eren looked back down at his superiors. Levi looked confused and a little disgusted at the sight of the vines. Hanji looked sympathetic and understanding, their eyes shiny with tears as they looked over all the vines.
“We’re done for the day!” Hanji shouts, “Eren is in no state to do this!”
Levi looked confused, “What? Hanji, why?”
Hanji didn’t answer Levi, just looked up at Eren, “Come out of there, Eren, I need to talk to you,”
Eren really didn’t want to, but he knew Levi would cut him out if he didn’t. So he gently lowered himself to the ground and freed himself from his Titan.
Hanji zipped up to his nape and gently pulled Eren out. Hanji led Eren back to HQ and into their office with their hand still gently gripping his arm.
They forced Eren into a chair and knelt before him like a mother would their child.
“Eren?” Hanji’s voice was soft, “Do you understand why I pulled you in here?”
Eren nods, “Yes,”
“So, you understand your condition and how serious this is,”
“Yes,”
Hanji sighed, “How long?”
“What?” Eren asked,
“How long has it been since the symptoms started?”
“A few weeks,”
“A few weeks!!?? Eren!” Hanji gripped his shoulders, “That’s really bad! You could be entering the final stages any day now!”
“I know,” Eren says, looking down, “I know,”
“Who is it?” Hanji asked, “You need to tell me,”
Eren clamped his mouth shut, trying to think of anything but Levi. But the captain’s face and warm laugh forced themselves into his mind, and Eren started coughing.
Hanji reeled back, gently patting Eren’s back as he forced out the petals. Eren then felt something big in the back of his throat before he could register what was happening. Eren threw up.
Hanji cried out in horror, and Eren looked down. A pool of blood was below him. Blue rose petals floated peacefully in it. But right smack dab in the middle was an entire rose flower.
“Oh my god,” Hanji said, a hand over their mouth, “Oh, my god,”
“I’m sorry,” Eren rasped out, suddenly feeling very tired, “I didn’t mean to,”
Hanji steadied Eren, “It’s okay. It’s okay, it’s not your fault,”
Eren closed his eyes for a moment, “It’s the captain,”
Hanji froze, “What?”
“The person I love, it’s the captain,”
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Hanji had cleaned Eren up and had set him away after that. They swore not to tell anyone but begged Eren to get the surgery. Eren flat-out refused.
Eren avoided Levi like the plague, turning on his heel and leaving the room whenever the black-haired male would walk in. The only time Eren would tolerate Levi’s presence was when they ran experiments with Hanji. Otherwise, Eren ignored orders, avoided the captain, and did everything he could to stay in his room alone as much as he could.
There were many times when Eren almost got caught, like that one time he had to excuse himself in the middle of dinner. Or that other time when he nearly puked the flowers before he got to the bedroom after a hard day in training.
Eren knew he couldn’t hide it forever, but he wanted to prolong it as much as he could. He never expected Levi to be the one to find him.
It had been a hard day at training; Erwin had taken over for a day. Claiming that Levi had fallen ill. The commander had run the squad ragged, and all Eren wanted to do was sleep.
What he didn’t expect was to open his door and see Captain Levi standing in his room with his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Eren with the might of a hundred suns.
Eren had turned on his heel to promptly walk out of the room, but Levi was faster. Grabbing Eren by the collar, he forced the cadet back with one hand, closing the door with the other.
“Now you listen here, you little brat,” Levi’s voice was cold and murderous, “I don’t know what is going through your mind that you think you can just ignore your superiors, but it seems like we need to have a chat about who’s in charge here,”
Eren quickly backed up away from Levi, trying to catch a breath. But Eren couldn’t. He started to panic, clawing at his throat. He started coughing, trying to clear his throat to breathe.
“Eren?” Levi looked shocked for a second before snapping out of his trance once he saw blood running down Eren’s chin, “EREN!”
Levi rushed over to Eren as the cadet collapsed to his knees. Eren hunched over, grabbing his trash bin, and starting vomiting blood and flowers.
Eren could hear Levi gasp in horror, but Eren couldn’t stop. They just kept coming, and he couldn’t get air into his lungs.
“It hurts,” Eren cries, “It hurts so much,”
Once he was done, Eren slumped the rest of the way to the floor, Levi catching him and holding him up.
“Is this why you have been avoiding everyone? Because you have hanahaki?”
Eren could only nod, “Yes, sir,” his voice was wrecked. Coming out in choppy, scratchy bits.
“You need to confess, Eren, or you’ll die!” Levi says harshly. For a moment, Eren thought he could see concern in the captain’s grey eyes.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure they don’t love me back. They hate me,” Eren sighs,
“What about the surgery?”
"NO WAY. I can’t lose my memories of them. I can’t.” Eren cried, “I can’t,”
“...Who are they?” Eren jerked at that. He scooted away from Levi,
He doesn’t love him. That thought hurt more than it should. Eren felt something big in his throat, so he bent over the bin again to let it all out.
Eren started to suffocate. Something was wrong; it didn’t want to come out. He could feel someone thumping his back, trying to help him, but whatever it was, it wouldn’t come out.
Eren shoved two fingers into his mouth, ignoring Levi’s cry of alarm. He gripped whatever was in the back of his throat and pulled.
It was two roses, stems and everything. Eren looked at the rose, the stark contrast between the blue petals and the crimson droplets scattered on it.
The next thing Eren knew, the entire world was black, and someone was cradling him in their arms. Their body shivering and shaking as if they were crying.
Eren floated in the blackness. He felt safe and warm, and he wanted to sink deeper into this feeling, but he could hear the person’s sobs as they held him.
“Eren, please wake up!”
Eren didn’t want the person to be sad, so he slowly opened his eyes, blinking a few times to clear his vision.
Captain Levi’s face looked down at him, and Eren was shocked to see that the older man was crying.
Eren could feel dried blood on his lips and chin, wondering how long he’d been out.
“You little brat! Don’t scare me like that!”
Eren looks at Levi. The man seems shaken and concerned. Eren swallowed dryly,
“I’m sorry,” he croaked,
“No, I shouldn’t have asked,” Levi mumbled, “God, I need to keep a closer eye on you,”
Eren stiffened. If Levi was going to keep a closer eye on him, then he’d worsen Eren’s condition. Eren was in so much pain, he wanted it to stop, even if it meant death. He couldn’t do this.
“Will you really not tell them?”
“It’s you,” Eren mumbled,
“What?”
“It’s you!” Eren said louder, “I love you, Captain!”
Eren risked a glance at Levi. The captain’s face held nothing but shock, eyes wide and lips parted slightly,
“I don’t remember when I first started loving you. But, god, I love you so much. So much it hurts,” Eren laughed wetly at his own joke, “But then I overheard you talking to Hanji about how I was,” Eren did air quotes, “Nothing more than “a dumb cadet you have to babysit,””
Eren dropped his hands, “I didn’t want to say anything because I treasured the moments we had, even if they were fake,” Eren held a hand to his face as he started to cry, “Just reject me and leave me to die,”
Levi looks down at the cadet in shock, “Eren, no, don’t say that,”
Eren looked up at Levi, “Well, why wouldn’t I!” he screamed, hurting his throat even more, “You hate me! I heard you! YOU HATE ME!”
“Shhh, Eren,” Levi holds the boy closer, “I don’t hate you. Please, listen to me. I said that because I didn’t want Hanji on our case. They’d been bugging me for ages about you, I had to say something to get them off my tail,” Levi nuzzled into Eren, “I didn’t mean it, Eren, I didn’t,”
Eren looks at Levi wearily, “You… .don’t hate me?”
Levi shakes his head, “No, Eren. I love you,”
Eren’s eyes widen, “No, you don’t,” he mumbles, “No, you don’t. You don’t mean it. I know you don’t,”
“Eren,” Levi’s voice is soft but firm, “I love you,”
“Stop,” Eren tries to push Levi away, “Stop,”
Levi holds Eren tighter, “I love you, Eren Jaeger,”
Eren’s throat tightens, “No…” he whimpers, “not again….stop….make it stop….”
Right as Eren was about to start coughing, lips were pressed against his own. Eren lets out a soft sound before melting into Levi’s hands.
When they break apart, Levi looks into Eren’s eyes,
“I love you,”
Eren looks into Levi’s eyes. Deep in the grey pools was warmth and love. Eren sighs. Levi really did love him back.
Eren began violently coughing. Whatever it was, it was big, and Eren had trouble getting it out. He coughed and coughed. Pain seared his throat as he finally got it all out.
He coughed a few more times. When suddenly, his chest felt light, so fucking light. Eren took the first big breath of air in weeks. Then another. Then another.
When Eren looked down to see what he’d coughed up, he wasn’t shocked. It was a pile of blue roses and roots.
Eren continued to take deep breaths of air as he felt someone gently rub his back,
“All better?” Levi asked gently,
Eren nods. A wave of drowsiness slams into Eren as he slumps against Levi, eyelids drooping. He felt warm and safe in Levi’s arms.
Levi gently lifts Eren up and lays him down on the bed before climbing in next to him. Eren tries to fight the warm sleepy feeling invading his body, even though he’s failing miserably.
“Sleep, Eren,” Levi murmurs softly, “You’ve been through so much. Get some rest,”
Eren sighs and curls into Levi more, as Levi wraps his arms around Eren,
“My beautiful cadet,” Levi coos, gently stroking Eren’s head, from the top of his hair to his chin, “Sleep, I’m here,”
Eren blushes and drifts off quickly. The next day, Eren wakes up wrapped up in Levi’s embrace, considering himself the happiest man alive.