Work Text:
“HELLO LISTENERS!!”
Present Mic greeted the class with his signature excruciatingly loud entrance. Katsuki didn’t much care for the man, he could admit he was a decent hero but a terribly annoying guy. Loud and gaudy, with that cockatoo hairdo. But Present Mic was his teacher and, despite his instinct to ignore him, he had to listen to take notes.
“Alrighty listeners! I’ve got a fun little assignment for you. Today I want you all to write a poem, in English of course. There doesn’t have to be real structure but it needs to have coherent sentences. I want at least 10 lines but no more than 20.”
Katsuki internally groans, poetry is such a sappy, pointless thing. Waxing dumb descriptions of supposedly pretty things. He could definitely live without it. But he had no choice now, but what exactly is he supposed to write about.
He’s staring at his blank paper, unable to think of what to write about. He lifts his head to look around at his dumb classmates. They’re all writing, scribbling furiously or slowly composing their poems. He glares back down at his paper gripping his pencil a bit too hard. Empty white lines laughing at him. Everyone was getting ahead of him and he didn’t even know what to write.
He looks back up at the class. Something catches his eye, something he’s always drawn to, a past he can’t repent for and a future that’s already forgiven him. Katsuki’s pencil almost moves on it’s own. The words just finding their way out, his emotions now graphite embedded into paper. He hates it: how easy it came, how true it feels, and how it fucking hurt. This is why he pushes it all away, expelling it with his fists instead.
Eventually, class ends and everyone turns in their poems. And life moves on, Katsuki forgets all about the dumb assignment. At least for a couple days, when his stupid teacher decides to ruin his life.
“Alrighty listeners! Do you all remember the poems you wrote the other day? Well, I’m going to have you all read them aloud in class.”
They all erupt into an incomprehensible wave of sound. Some complaining, others excited. Katsuki himself was beyond furious, why hadn’t the idiot told them they’d be reading them?! He’d have written something else, anything but the incriminating nonsense he came up with.
He doesn’t notice right away that the class had finally calmed down until he heard his teachers voice again.
“This will not only help improve your English speaking and pronunciations but allow you to express some creativity. Now let’s start.”
He’s not paying any attention, too focused on what to do. He can’t read his poem out loud. He doesn’t know if he could live after, it’d be utterly impossible to deny anything. Maybe he could come up with a new poem and read it instead. But Present Mic had already read and graded them, which means he’d know immediately and reprimand Katsuki.
In his panic he doesn’t hear anyone’s poems, doesn’t even notice how much time has passed. Before he knows it, he’s being called up to read. He feels like his breathing is too quick as he stands up on shaky legs. Walking up to the front of the class feels endless, like everything is in slow motion. When he finally is front and center all eyes are on him, usually his favorite place now makes him feel exposed and raw.
He tries to swallow the lump in his throat as he scans the faces staring at him. His eyes lock with his best friend, who flashes him a sharp smile and small thumbs up in encouragement. Katsuki is beyond screwed. He focuses his glare off to the side, away from the eyes boring into him. Probably much quieter than he should as he recites his poem.
“looking in the mirror… pools of blood stare back at me
I HATE them.
they’ve /seen/ the crimson in my ledger
they know the vermillion words cannot be erased…
they’re a scarlet ego unable to… beg.. for forgiveness
I /never did/ like the color red
then I met you…
to you… crimson meant Strength and Power
with you, vermillion is warmth and… safety…
in your scarlet soul is laughter… and joy
you are red… stunning… and wonderful.
I never did like red.
until… I met you…”
When his voice trails off and the room is too quiet, his own voice rattles his skull like an echo off mountains. He can feel the eyes boring into him, he /doesn’t/ wonder what they’re thinking. He huffs angrily before stomping quickly back to his seat.
“Wonderful Bakugo! Your pronunciations were almost perfect.”
Present Mic moves onto the next student and finishes his lesson. Katsuki didn’t hear a single word, unable to focus on anything. He ignores and hides from his friends during lunch. He knows they know; knows they couldn’t mind their own business to save their lives. It’s a frenzy waiting to happen. So, he rushes to the dorms to lock himself into his room, hoping to hide until it can be all forgotten. Katsuki is very stupid.
He tries to sneak downstairs for dinner. His idiot squad is in the common room, but if he’s careful he could grab something and run back to safety before they saw him. And he probably would have managed it if not for stupid fucking Deku.
He’d bumped into Katsuki, who was tiptoeing through the kitchen with his eyes watching the heads in the common room. Deku had been startled and shrieked, loudly.
“Oh, my Kachaan! I’m so sorry I didn’t see you at all!”
Katsuki goes to shout at the need before whipping his head to the common room and accidentally locks eyes with a certain pink menace. And she’s jumping over the couch towards him as he darts out of the kitchen. She manages to tackle him before he can get to the stairs.
He’s very unceremoniously and forcibly dragged into the common room before being wedged between Sero and Jirou, a cheap trick to trap him by raccoon eyes. Kaminari and Kirishima snuggled on the big chair and Ashido on the floor in front of them. They’re just staring at him, before Kaminari finally loses his patience.
“Dude! I didn’t know you were a poet!”
“Fuck you dunce face! I’m not a damn poet you dumbass!”
Beside him Sero laughs.
“Uh dude, that was pretty poetic.”
Jirou adds her two cents, the traitor.
“Yeah, it was really good. I was a little surprised.”
“Why the fuck were you surprised huh?! I’m the fucking best, of course it was good.”
They all chuckle at him before Kaminari decides to sign his own death certificate.
“Yeah, my bro, like how were we supposed to know you had such a way with words when your usual vocab is usually just fuck this fuck that.”
Katsuki tries to lunge for the blonde’s throat. But two sets of hands hold onto his arms keeping him in place. He growls and fights before finally giving up to slump back. Ashido speaks up next, ever the damn gossip.
“The real question here is what was it about? What was you’re inspiration huh?”
For probably the first time in their lives the idiot brigade is quiet. All eyes focused intently on him awaiting his reply. He can tell they know. The way golden eyes bore into his own, onyx ones burn holes into either side of his head, and ruby eyes he avoids completely.
What the fuck is he supposed to say, to tell them. He can’t do this, and his own eyes sting with frustration. When he answers its quiet and weak.
“Doesn’t fucking matter.”
“How does it not matter? It sure sounded like it was about something important.”
“no it doesn’t matter! I just threw some bullshit onto paper for an assignment. It was just something for a good grade.”
“Don’t say that dude. It is important and you know it.”
Kaminari’s words pierce through him. He’s got no right to say that, no right to even have a fucking opinion. He stands and spits his venom at them all.
“Fuck you! It doesn’t fucking matter. I know who I am dammit. I know what happens, I have literally already fucking done it, it was the entire first God damned half. Monsters exist you dumbasses, and that’s what I am. I am egotistical, angry, and destructive… abusive…”
“I break good things… stomp out lights…. Fucking sunshine guys… if I… it just doesn’t matter…”
He’s looking at his own feet, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, and he can feel a wetness on his lashes. He spins on his heel and runs to the safety of his room. Curling up tight under his covers, regretting almost all of his life’s choices. And if he falls asleep with tears on his cheeks, well no one would ever know.
Eijiro had been excited for the poetry assignment. He thought it would be really fun. It didn’t take him long to come up with his poem. He wrote about manliness, courage, and just trying your best. He was pretty proud of it actually. And like the rest of his class, he’d forgotten about it pretty quickly.
A few days later however Present Mic surprises them by having them read their poems out loud. Eijiro is kind of excited, he can’t wait to hear what everyone came up with. He really liked Tsuyu’s poem about water, Shoji’s about seeing beauty in everything, and Kyouka’s poem about feeling alive through music was especially cool.
When it’s finally Bakugo’s turn to read he can tell his friend is nervous, which is super rare. Bakugo never gets nervous. When the blonde’s eyes meet his, he flashes a smile and a small thumbs up to help his bro out.
He hadn’t been expecting that when he imagined what the explosive boy had wrote. But it had hit him hard. Eijiro knew the other well enough to know who the first half was about; he knew how much Bakugo regretted his past actions. He’d held the blonde more than once late at night as he mourned a bridge, a future, he turned to ash.
It was the second half that surprised him. It was surprisingly sweet and felt like so much more than the words said. He didn’t know for sure but he felt like he knew who it had been about. He hoped at least, that it was the two most important people in Bakugo’s life.
He felt a little conceited thinking that, but he was the closest person to the blonde. Bakugo had told him things he’d never told anyone. They rarely slept alone in their own beds, always finding themselves curled around each other to stave off nightmares. They had spent two Christmases together and plans for the next one.
Eijiro was aware enough to know they’d been dancing around each other for a long time now. Spinning around a knotted mess of emotions and feelings neither ready to confront, to attempt to untangle. Eijiro had always been a coward, and this was no different. He was scared of ruining something that was already working. But now it had felt as if Bakugo had been forced to make the first move and he didn’t know what was next.
At lunch Bakugo is no where to be seen. And his friends take the opportunity to pounce. Mina is practically hanging off of him, with Denki on his other arm. Across from him Hanta and Kyouka watch with amused expressions.
“Kiri, my love, my king, my hopeless romantic! Did you hear that?! He practically confessed!”
He shakes her off his arm and tries to control his emotions.
“Nah Meens. It could have meant literally anything about anyone.”
“Not even bro. Even I knew it was about you man. There is nobody redder than you.”
“yeah… that’s probably true I guess…”
“See! It was totally about you and how much he loves you Kiri.”
“No. It could’ve definitely just been about his appreciation for our friendship.”
Sero gives a quiet laugh.
“Man, we all know it would take a lot more than simple friendship for Bakugo to get so poetic.”
Eijiro knows that, knows their past and what it could all mean. But he just couldn’t get his hopes up so easily. Things were never so simple.
After classes ended Bakugo disappeared quickly and no one saw him at the dorms. He barely convinced the squad to leave the blonde alone. In the end, Bakugo had never meant for anyone beside their teacher to read it. Eijiro was never meant to hear it, which was why he couldn’t accept it as a confession.
They’re all piled up in the common room later. He and Denki snuggled together on the chair as good bros do, Hanta, Kyouka, and Mina on the couch. They’ve been talking about graduation and such when they heard a commotion in the kitchen. Where Midoriya is quickly apologizing to Bakugo.
The blonde seems to lock eyes with Mina who’d looked over at the sound. The boy makes a dash for the stairs, while a pink blur jumps over the couch and tackles him before he can escape. She drags his snarling body back to the common room where she wedges him between the two on the couch, before settling on the floor.
They’re all pretty quiet as they wait Denki loses his patience first.
“Dude! I didn’t know you were a poet!”
“Fuck you dunce face! I’m not a damn poet you dumbass!”
Hanta laughs.
“Uh dude, that was pretty poetic.”
Kyouka adds commentary beside the angry teen.
“Yeah, it was really good. I was a little surprised.”
“Why the fuck were you surprised huh?! I’m the fucking best, of course it was good.”
They all chuckle at him before Denki idiotically says.
“Yeah my bro, like how we’re we supposed to know you had such a way with words when your usual vocab is usually just fuck this fuck that.”
Bakugo tries to lunge for the electric boy’s throat. But the two beside him hold onto his arms keeping him in place. He growls and fights before finally giving up to slump back. Mina speaks up next, pushing for the answer they want.
“The real question here is what was it about? What was you’re inspiration huh?”
All eyes are focused intently on the blonde awaiting his reply. They all have their suspicions and Eijiro can tell the other boy realizes this. When he finally speaks up its uncharacteristically quiet.
“Doesn’t fucking matter.”
“How does it not matter?! It sure sounded like it was something important.”
“no it doesn’t matter! I just threw some bullshit onto paper for an assignment. It was just something for a good grade.”
“Don’t say that dude. It is important and you know it.”
The explosive teen stands angrily and snaps at them.
“Fuck you! It doesn’t fucking matter. I know who I am dammit. I know what happens, I have literally already fucking done it, it was the entire first God damned half. Monsters exist you dumbasses, and that’s what I am. I am egotistical, angry, and destructive… abusive…”
“I break good things… stomp out lights…. Fucking sunshine guys… if I… it just doesn’t matter…”
He’s speeding out of the room before anyone can even process his words. Everyone is quiet almost ashamed of pushing Bakugo so much. The angry boy had rarely ever showed other emotions, let alone anything that could be seen as ‘weakness’. He had grown a lot since first year but he still guarded himself with his harsh façade.
Denki, always the more emotional of the group, quietly asks if they should apologize. Eijiro only shakes his head as he still stares toward the elevator. Hanta quietly explains why Bakugo would probably rather be alone right now. Later he finally makes his way to his room. But sleep doesn’t find him easily.
The next day happens to be a Saturday. Eijiro knows that the blonde trains every Saturday morning to keep from becoming idle as he says. So, he decides to wake up early and knock on Bakugo’s door right before he knows the other leaves. The door is swung open to reveal a typical scowl that only sharpens when he sees Eijiro.
“Hey bro! I was wondering if I could train with you today? I’ve kinda been slackin lately…”
Intense vermillion eyes stare into his own carmine ones, searching for something. He’s not entirely sure what answers the other seeks but he must find it. His glare lessons with the scoff he lets out.
“of course, you fucking have. You waste all your damn time playing games with those idiots.”
“Aw come on man, I can’t help it. It’s fun.”
“Fun my ass shitty hair.”
“So can I?”
“If you slow me down, I’ll fucking kill you.”
“Of course bro!”
They head down stairs together, grabbing some protein shakes and water from the fridge. They drink their shakes on the way to the gym. Eijiro fills the silence with mindless chatter. Once in the gym, they fall into a practiced routine.
They’ve sparred together more times than they could count. They knew each other well, knew their movements, what blows were coming, their strengths and weaknesses. They moved around each other over and over until neither had the air to spare to continue. They downed their waters before collapsing on the ground.
It’s quiet, dust settling in the hazy morning light. Eijiro can hear the chatter of the birds outside over their heavy breathing. The ground is cold and hard beneath him, a drastic difference to the warm and soft body next to him. He doesn’t look over at the other, knows what he’d see.
Disheveled ash blonde locks covered in dust sticking to damp skin. Eyes closed and a sweet almost nonexistent smile on ample pink lips. Normally pale cheeks tinged red with exertion that spills down his torso. Chest rising and falling with every breath. Sweat slicked skin glistening in the light. Beside him, the definition of grace and power rests, trusting and comfortable.
He knows that it would hurt to look, hurt to see him and think of those words. To have to fight the urge to kiss away all of the other’s worries and doubts. But he knows he can’t, knows that Bakugo doesn’t need that right now. So, he lets the relaxed quiet live between them. Eventually they haul themselves up and work on making their way back to the dorms for much needed showers.
After a blissfully warm shower and large helping of the breakfast that had been made in their absence, Eijiro is reclining on his bed. He’s skimming one of his workbooks, his half-asked attempt at studying. His door is suddenly slammed open, bouncing off the wall, revealing a surly Bakugo.
He marches in slamming the poor door back behind him. He flops onto the bed across Eijiro’s legs. He chuckles at his best friend, glad they were finding some normalcy again. He takes in view while he can.
Bakugo’s butt is wedged between his calves, leaned back over one, legs over the other and hanging off the bed. It has to be uncomfortable but he doesn’t move. That now clean and soft ash hair spread on his camo blanket. Eyes closed with thick blonde lashes fanning out. Lit up by the warm sun through the window, reminding Eijiro of a cat stretched in a patch of warmth.
Bakugo sits up, lifting the calf he’d had his back over up and over his head to settle across his lap while he leans back against the wall.
“Whatcha reading shitty hair?”
“Just skimming over some English.”
“ ‘Skimming’ sounds like you’ve been slacking in your studies too.”
A little ashamed Eijiro’s eyes look away from knowing vermillion eyes.
“Fucking knew it.”
It’s quiet for a while, comfortable and mellow. It’s always been easy being with Bakugo. Eijiro doesn’t feel pressured to be so bright, he knows he can trust the other. He can shut off the cheery light and cool down to rest, he can unplug for a while to conserve his energy. Nothing ever forced between them, simple easy and comforting.
Eijiro is staring at the ceiling lost in his own thoughts when the other speaks quietly.
“hey red…”
Eijiro sucks in a sharp breath and forces himself not to shoot up, to stare wide eyed at his friend.
“uh yeah man?”
“I didn’t know we’d read them.”
“Nobody did.”
“You’re not uncomfortable?”
“No. Never.”
“I’ve broken beautiful things before.”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“You’re sorry, you’ve apologized.”
“but it doesn’t fix it. Doesn’t change what I did.”
“No, it doesn’t. It just shows you’ve grown. That you’re no longer a dumb kid, no longer scared of your feelings.”
“Hah not scared of my feelings huh? Sure feels like I still am.”
“Nah I don’t think so. You used to be so scared of them you’d refuse to acknowledge them, lash out at what caused them.”
“I guess… but I’m still scared.”
“I’m not so easily broken. That’s like my whole thing. Unbreakable ya know.”
Bakugo chuckles at the silly joke, lightening the air just ever so slightly. Eijiro loves and hates it, such a sad and beautiful sound.
“Yeah, I know… but you can still bleed. A shade that I hate.”
“I trust you.”
“how, with everything you know?”
“Because of everything I know.”
“The guck does that mean.”
“It means I know everything, the good and the bad and the in-between. I know exactly who you are. And personally, I find it amazing. The growth, the passion, the determination, the effort.”
Bakugo sucks in a deep breath and blows it out slowly. He seems to muse over things for a while. He’s just quiet for so long Eijiro assumes the conversation is over. Still no resolution, knots still linking them together but stopping them from reaching each other. It’s movement though, and it’s a win he’s willing to take.
Bakugo wiggles out from his legs and crawls up beside him laying shoulder to shoulder. Between them their fingers weave together. An instinct shared between them now, neither knowing who moved first. Eijiro takes comfort in the touch. Beside him Bakugo whispers.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“for always being difficult making things harder than they should.”
“I’ve always liked challenges.”
The blonde snorts at the joke. He lets go of Eijiro’s hand, he bemoans the loss, as he props himself on his arm to stare down at him. Severe eyes rove his face. Something in them setting his nerves alight, flickering under his skin. The air heavy between them now, thick with seriousness. He stops breathing when that powerful gaze lands on his lips, indecision a storm in those eyes.
Katsuki hadn’t expected Kirishima to show up at his door this morning. Hadn’t expected for him to act like nothing had changed, like yesterday had never happened. He was grateful, for the regularity for the release of frustration in sparring. He’d simply wanted to bask his friend’s warmth again. He had not planned to have this conversation, had actually planned to forget it forever.
But now here he was, staring down at the only person he’d ever trusted. The man he was hopelessly in love with. And God was he beautiful right now. Ruby eyes wide and glimmering with hope. Red hair damp and fluffy, fanned around his head. Pink reaching across his nose and cheeks revealing freckles normally hidden in tan skin. Tips of sharp teeth peeking from parted lips. Round full and rosy lips that he suddenly can’t look away from.
He’s leaned forward before he’s realized. His nose brushes Eijiro’s, mouths so close they trade warm breaths between their lungs. And he can’t seem to go farther, like he’s frozen. He wants nothing more that to taste him, to feel if those lips are as soft as they look. But he’s still to scared.
Eijiro has always known what Katsuki needed, has always been there to help him, to give him what he needs. He finishes what he cannot. The redhead closes the practically nonexistent space between them. His chapped lips press so softly to smooth one’s. Barely a second goes by but it felt infinite and final.
They pull back to stare at each other in shock. Katsuki can’t bare the silence though.
“Now what?”
“Now you’re stuck.”
“Huh.”
Strong arms curl around his torso as he squeezes Katsuki tightly. Carmine eyes damp yet ecstatic.
“You’re mine Katsuki. Everything, all of it. I want it so bad it hurts.”
Katsuki isn’t stupid, he knew this is what was coming. This was what he wanted, had hoped for, but it still managed to knock the air his lungs. All the love he’s been to scared to give overwhelms him. It’s seeping through his skin and dripping from his eyes. Every ounce of his love comes out in one shaken breath.
“I love you Eijiro.”
Eijiro’s head falls back as he laughs. Bright and gorgeous, delightful and free. Katsuki could listen to it forever. When the laughter settles, he stares up with the sweetest smile.
“I love you too Katsuki.”
Sliding his arms up his shoulders around his neck. The only knots between them now are the ones in blonde hair around tight fingers. Strong but gentle arms pull him back down into everything he’s ever wanted.