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"Am I a complete idiot for thinking she'd say yes?" James asked, staring up at the ceiling.
They were both laying on the floor of the dormitory. They'd gotten past the initial rejection blues by going to the kitchens for hot cocoa. They'd drunk it, it was delicious, and now they were laying on the floor while Wormtail and Moony failed at flirting with some birds in the common room. James was staring at the ceiling in his melancholy, and Sirius was trying to look at the ceiling, but he kept glancing at James from the corner of his eye. He was doing it so much that he was pretty sure he was flat out staring at James. In his defense, it's not like he had that many opportunities to stare at him without the risk of being caught.
"No, you're not an idiot," Sirius said. "I thought she'd say yes." And he wasn't just saying that to be a good friend. He really had thought that Lily would say yes. He'd been utterly convinced that this was the beginning of the end for him. James pining over Lily would be completely different than dating her, and Sirius would fall to the sidelines as James took her on dates and ran off so they could snog. "I mean, c'mon, who'd say no to you?" Seriously, who?
"Lily, apparently," James replied.
"It was a rhetorical question."
"Yeah, except it's not rhetorical, because she did say no."
"No one with a brain would say no to you, then. Wait. Lily has a brain. No one with taste would say no to you."
"I'm sure she has taste."
"How?"
Silence.
"You're just guessing; it doesn't count," Sirius said. "I, on the other hand, have proof that she has no taste."
"What proof is that?"
"She rejected you! Merlin, it's like you're not even paying attention."
James laughed at Sirius's overly exasperated tone.
"Look, I know that I'm making a lot of jokes to try and make you feel better, but if you want to whinge about it for a while, you can. If stewing in your misery for a few days is going to help, then that's what we'll do."
"'We'? There's no 'we' when it concerns being miserable over being rejected since I am the only one of the two of us that was rejected."
"If you're miserable, I'm miserable. You'd think you'd know that by now."
"Silly me," James said with a chuckle. "No, this is... it's better like this. Sat around eating chocolate won't do me any good."
James was nervous. Beyond nervous, really. On the one hand, he didn't think that Sirius would say no. On the other, he'd thought that Lily would say yes-- he'd been sure of it, at the time-- and he'd been horribly wrong. It's not like Lily had been mean when she turned him down (the second time that is, when they actually knew each other; the first time had been, ahem, poorly timed), but he'd been so unprepared for it that he hadn't known what to do with himself for about a week.
If Sirius turned him down, it was going to be worse than a week. It would also be endlessly embarrassing, where with Lily, he'd only been mildly embarrassed. Him and Sirius lived together. They shared a flat, and they spent most of their free time there, with each other. Trying to avoid Sirius to nurse his wounds would be obvious and even more embarrassing than simply being turned down.
He saw Sirius all the time. He's who he went to when he had a good day, when he had a bad day, and for all the days inbetween. Celebrations, moping, you name it, they did it and they always did it together. James was terrified of losing that, but he couldn't stay quiet about the way he felt. He was in love with Sirius, and taking the chance that they could date was worth the risk. He just wished that there wasn't a risk at all. He would like it very much if he could ask Sirius on a date, and if he said no, then nothing would change.
"What're you thinking so hard about?" Sirius asked, kicking the door closed.
"We should go on a date," James answered, because there was never going to be a 'perfect time' for it.
"Oh we should, should we?" Sirius said, smirking.
"Well I think we should. I guess I should have asked if you would like to go on a date with me tomorrow night." He paused. "Yeah, that would've been better. Let's try that. Sirius, would you like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?"
"What's wrong with tonight?" Sirius walked closer, but James was so busy thinking about how he'd messed this up from the start that he didn't even notice.
"I'd need time to prepare. Really, mate, do you think I'd go out on a date with you looking like this?" James gestured to his hair, which was in its usual state of looking like a rat's nest. It might look worse actually, with how much he'd been pulling on it.
"Do you think I'd care?" Sirius asked.
James looked at him-- really looked at him-- for the first time since he got home. And he saw that Sirius was smiling and happy. Not teasing, not worried about how to let him down easy. Happy. "You never said yes," James pointed out.
"I would love to go on a date with you," Sirius said, his smile widening. "I'd prefer tonight, but if you insist on trying to tame your hair first, I suppose I can wait until tomorrow."
"You'd probably be able to convince me to do it tonight if I didn't already have my heart set on getting takeaway for dinner."
"There's no reason we can't have our first date here," Sirius said.
"True, but what about romance?"
"Romance? On the first date? Mister Potter, you charmer."
"Sod off," James said, but he was laughing as he said it.
All that worrying for nothing.