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Kujou Sara lowered her report, and stopped talking. She had been here to give a status update on security affairs for Narukami Island, but realized a while ago that the Almighty Shogun was not listening to her. She knew that the Kujou Clan had lost much of its respect following the collusion with the Fatui, but she thought at least that the Shogun would listen to a report from her.
“If… it’s alright to ask, Almighty Shogun.” She saw her Archon grit her teeth slightly. “Is this a bad time for the report? I can reschedule this for tomorrow at-“
“No.” The Archon replied. “No it’s fine…”
Sara gazed up at her, tense and weak. “Almighty Shogun… Is there anything at all that I can do for you? I do not mean to overstep, but it seems that you are not doing well.”
The Shogun sighed and tried to hold in her frustration.
“Almighty Shogun? If-“
“Can you stop saying that already?” She replied in anger.
“Oh. Have I spoken out of turn?” Sara questioned, anxious. “Almighty Shogun I-“
The Shogun slammed her hands on the arms of her throne. “STOP.”
Sara faltered.
The Shogun sighed. “You just… Never mind… You wouldn’t understand anyways.”
A long silence hung in the air, only broken by Sara’s careful step forward.
“Almighty Shogun, if-“
“Please…” The Shogun placed her head in her hands. “Just Shogun is fine.”
Kujou Sara was taken aback. “Oh Almighty Shogun I could never! Your grace-“
“Stop.” The Shogun interrupted, firmly. “Listen it’s… I’m not who you think I am. If you care about me at all, please… Just use Shogun.”
Sara thought for a long time. “Okay Shogun. If it’s what you want.”
The Shogun relaxed a little bit, and gave Sara a faint smile. “Miss Kujou.. Thank you. I’m fine. You may go.”
Sara did not go. She looked up at the Shogun’s exhausted face, and did not believe her.
Sara took another step closer to the Shogun. “Shogun… What’s wrong?” Her voice held legitimate care and worry.
Tears gently began to well up in the Shogun's eyes, and she quickly wiped them away. “Kujou Sara… You.. were adopted, yes?” She began, carefully considering her words. “Originally a member of the Tengu, you left your birth family years ago. Do you… Feel wanted, and comfortable, in the Kujou Clan?”
Sara’s heart hurt. Her fist clenched as she tried to think of a way to respond. Kujou Sara didn’t share personal feelings with anyone, let alone the Almighty Shogun herself. She couldn’t be weak in front of her. But… Then again things just felt… different, right now.
“…No.” Sara finally said, trying to steady her voice. “No I don’t, Shogun. I know they don’t really respect me there. I know I don’t matter to them. I’ve never mattered to either of my families.”
Sara breathed in deep, and closed her eyes. She hated being vulnerable. She needed to be strong. She waited for the Shogun to reply but… She didn’t.
“If…” Sara began. “If I may ask, Shogun. What brought this on?”
The Shogun sighed and averted her gaze.
“It’s… Complicated.” She began, straining. “I am not the Raiden Shogun. I have only ever been her stand-in.”
Kujou Sara felt her head begin to spin, and gently walked over to a nearby chair and sat down.
“What… Do you mean?” Sara asked in confusion.
“I’m a puppet. More a machine than a ‘real’ person. I’m just here to keep up appearances, while Ei - I mean, Ei is the actual Raiden shogun. - While Ei meditates.”
“But…” Sara offered, gently. “You… Seem like a real person to me.”
“I’m not” She said. “Real people matter. I don’t get to make decisions, I don’t get to be free. I don’t even have access to any of my powers, Ei turned them all off…”
“Why.. would she do that?” Sara asked with genuine bafflement.
The Shogun gripped her skirt tightly.
“I’m ‘broken.’” She said at last.
“I was taught by Ei to rule violently.” She continued. “I was taught to pursue eternity. I was taught to silence those that spoke against me and fight for what matters. I suppose the same things you were taught, actually…”
Sara tensed. “But… That’s correct. It’s what The Rai-.. Ei, wants. Isn’t it? Inazuma is the land of eternity.”
The Shogun sighed with a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. Ever since the end of the rebellion she’s been different… She won’t talk to me. She only talks to that traveler… I would need to matter for her to talk to me, wouldn’t I?”
Sara stood up and gently stepped towards the Shogun. “You do matter, Shogun. You matter so much to all of us, you matter to me and to-“
The Shogun gently placed a finger up, silencing Sara. “I really don’t. You didn’t even know that I existed until right now, Miss Kujou. Your worship is to Ei, your love as well. I’m just a puppet. A machine. Replaceable.” Her voice trailed off.
“You’re not…” Sara began. “Of course you’re not replaceable. You’re a whole person. You are strong and powerful and have your own feelings. There’s no way Ei would ever jeopardize that.”
The Shogun gently shook her head. “She was telling the traveler recently that she wanted to ‘fix me.’ Rewire me. Change my views, my beliefs, my abilities. I’m not useful anymore, so it’s time to get rid of me.”
The Shogun placed her head in her hands and Sara could hear her gently crying. She placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Shogun…”
The Shogun wiped a tear out of her eye. “You want to know the worst part, Miss Kujou? It’s my brother. Kuni… A prototype of me. I suppose you know him as the Balladeer of the Fatui.”
“What?” Sara gasped in surprise, then frantically covered her mouth. “Sorry. Continue.”
The Shogun weakly laughed. “It’s a bit of a long story. But he used to live here, you know. He was a failed puppet, like me. Thrown into storage for centuries… but Ei… felt bad for him. She released him into the world… A full person. Worthy of respect. Worthy of love… Worthy of individuality and freedom. He gets to be whoever he wants to be.”
She gazed at Kujou Sara, her vision blurring with tears. “I don’t know why I can’t be, too.”
She gently placed her head on Sara’s shoulder and cried.
Sara, shaking off her shock, wrapped her arms around the Shogun. There’s so much that she didn’t know. Her faith had been placed in a person she had never heard of and…
Now she was beginning to even doubt that.
Sara gently tightened her hug around the Shogun, as the Shogun hugged her in return. “Shogun…” Sara began, gently.
“Shogun if…” Kujou Sara could not even believe the words she was about to say. “You told me that my faith was in Ei, not you. I don’t think that’s true.”
The Shogun gently lifted her head to look at Sara as she spoke.
“You’re the only Raiden Shogun I’ve ever known. It’s your strength, your decisiveness, your beauty and grace. You’re the one I’ve always loved, and worshipped. And…” Kujou Sara’s voice cracked, and she began to feel shaky.
“And if… If the Electro Archon is really so uncaring to you, the one I’ve always loved so much… I don’t want to worship her anyways. My love has always been to the Shogun… Not to Ei.”
Sara just about fainted. Everything she knew was crashing down. She gently sobbed as the Shogun wrapped her in her arms.
“Sara..” She began. “You’re… The only mortal being that has ever known about me. I’ve been so alone…” she tightened her hug gently.
The two of them stayed there briefly. Crying and thinking. This woman was a stranger, but she was also someone Sara had known all her life. She didn’t know what to think anymore.
The silence was finally broken by the Shogun, righting herself and wiping her eyes.
“Sara I don’t want you to worship me. I’ve never even been an Archon to begin with.” The Shogun, anxiously started. “Um… If you’d like. We could… Be… Friends?”
“What?” For the second time Sara was completely taken aback by something the Shogun said tonight.
The Shogun laughed again, and Sara could see her turning red. “I suppose it’s actually a foolish thing of me to ask. If you’d like, you can just forget we ever had any of this conversat-“
“No no” Sara interrupted her. “I… It will be hard for me to adapt to this information. I’ve been living in the name of, and worshipping the Electro Archon for my entire life. In the last hour I’ve discovered that I didn’t even know of the Electro Archon at all, and the person I was worshipping now… Wants to be my friend? This is going to be incredibly difficult to adapt to.”
The Shogun nodded quickly. “Yes I… Realize now that this would all be a lot for a mortal to take in.” She cleared her throat, and sat up straight. “Miss Kujou, if we are done here, you may be dismissed.”
The Shogun had regained all of her usual power and presence.
Sara slowly stepped back. “Uh… Yes, Almighty Shogun.” She began to turn to leave when she was stopped once again.
“Miss Kujou um. I know we are both extremely busy people. If… You would like to chat again some time, you are always free to visit here. I will let my guards know that you are welcome even off schedule.”
Sara smiled gently. “Thank you Shogun. I think.. I might take you up on that offer.”