Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

babie || fankid

If there was one thing worst than a rapist, its a child.

Besides Loona— or prior to his adoption with Loona, he always thought children were the spawn of devils. Now it was much worse considering these children were demons in every part of their anatomy.

Having Loona made him change his mind, because his Loonie Toonie was the perfect princess in hell! 

After marrying Stolas his family had gotten the portion of the title, he however never took the Goetia name. Blitz was never the one to take documents and all that boring priss thing called the rules, so the sooner he proposed to the Avian Prince himself his Loona was now somehow a Duchess. Blitz still doesn't know why, but hey, its hell. Shit happens I guess. 

He however, was not prepared for this. 

"I laid an egg. You're the father." 

It took him 3.8 seconds to process that.

"I see." 

Well it's safe to say shit does tend to happen.

Now here he was, jumping out of the balcony like good old times. Except this time there weren't tea party interruptions, or his "carrying this big fucking book™" solo. He went and crashed Moxxie and Millie's place. 

"Hey Blitz!" Millie peeked from the kitchen area upon hearing the window crash. Moxxie ran out from another room in sheer panic, "What the— sir!? What are you doing here?" 

"Good to see ya Moxx. Was wondering if we got bitches we could kill." 

The two husband and wife gave each other a look as if mentally trying to guess what hullabaloo their boss is planning. "Oh ya know, the usual shit." 

"With all due respect sir, your usual is very unusual."

"Fuck you too Moxx." 

Mille butter in the two with her toothy grin, "What seems t'be the problem B? 'm sure Moxx an' I can help." 

Blitz suddenly felt conflicted, does he tell his loyal crew, the Goetia Prince, got pregnant to his child. So he jumped off the window out of instinct.  

What a damn sentence that was.

"So um-"

"Sir I can assure you, if you made mistakes on a few documents we've got extra ones covered." 

Blitz opens his mouth to retort; "Yes sir we also have your iced coffee's on the go. Made sure your eels are protected, cleaned your 'hormsies'— and yes sir we also made sure Janice isn't mauled by angry mob of people."

"Dammit Moxxie ya know everything dont'cha?" 

"Of course sir." Millie kisses her husbands cheek at his confidence. It truly was a good look on him. 

"Just-" he scratched his head, "Got a boner for death." 

The married couple blinked.

Once.

Twice.

"Uh huh.." Moxxie replies.

"You can always join turf wars! I heard that fella Angel Dust is in one as we speak."

"You're a damn genius Millie!" he kissed the two goodbye and bolted out the same window he crashed.

"Do you think he got into a fight with Prince Stolas?"

Millie shrugs, "If they were fightin' I think all hell would hear that huge boom thing princey did."

_

At the castle, Stolas was sitting in his bedroom. An egg gently placed in pillows. To give it comfort, and protection. He sat in deep thought, forgetting his tea. 

He had made a habit of talking to himself whenever he encounters personal issues. He and his wife weren't in speaking matters, and he'll be damned if he'd ever been caught venting to Octavia. His little owlette had been through so much already. Plus, having his title in all hell he has to keep his reputation someone. He's supposed to be cold and calculative. But right now, he isn't either if those.

"..did I scare him off?" he asks the egg. "I don't.. he wouldn't leave me.. would he..?" there was fear gripping his voice, his stomach drops. The sheer thought of Blitz leaving him— he couldn't bare it. He can't. 

But Blitz can't leave him now just like that right? Not after all those centuries of being together. 

He can't— can't just leave like that?

' would he hurt me too? ' a voice whispers inside his head. His mind raced to scenarios of Blitz throwing things at him, slapping him, shooting him, yelling—

His eyes sting. His throat tightens. 

His heart aches. 

Blitz wouldn't do that. How dare he doubt his husband. He would never. 

But why would he just— leave like that?

He stands up. Cleared his own throat and dusted himself off. "I won't think like this. Blitzy would never, right little egg? Your father would never." he picks the egg up and mentally commands his door open. 

He was glad Octavia and Loona handled it neutrally. Octavia was silent at first but gave it a shrug, in his judgement, Loona seemed off. He chose to turn a blind eye, still timid to approach the hound. 

Stolas reached the lounge area. With a snap of a finger, the television turned on. A view of Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench doing their biased banter. If he's lucky he'd see another brawl. "Now my little chick," he placed the egg in his lap. 

"We'll wait for Blitzy's reply.. or return— we mustn't be sad, your father may be very silly sometimes but I can assure you he has a very good heart. He just has a hard time taking things is all.." before his mind could raise more conclusions he was cut to Ms Killjoys voice.

"Well you little fucks in todays Turf Wars we have famous porn star Angel Dust! After being released by his pimp by the one and only Radio Demon—" she gives a judgemental look, "— of all people, here we have is the fluffy whore offing some bitches with a fork— oh and whose this I see?! This could be the one and only Blitz-O Imp. Current service top of our princling Stolas Goetia." 

Stolas coughs. 

"Thats right Katie! CEO and founder if I-M-P Blitz offing these poor insolent soul-less creatures." 

"Oh my Tom! Could this be an affair I smell?" Katie tilts her head and threw a cup of coffee in her mouth and chewed on it. "Rumours have it the Goetia Prince and the imp are actually married!" 

Stolas looked offended. "How dare they! They're still rumours?! Oh for goodness sakes its been years how the bloody fuck are they still seen as rumours?!" 

"Righty-o Katie! Maybe this powerful Imp right here just did a shank—" 

Stolas burned the T.V 

He wasn't usually the jealous one, he was tactful, smart, cunning for pete's sake. 

Though the thought of Blitz shanking up to someone else other than him made his blood boil.

Now that was saying something considering the fact the two did orgy's before. 

He hadn't said a word, with his egg in hand he left the area and back to his room. He slammed the door shut. 

The petty side in him hoped it was strong enough for Blitz to hear. 

Chapter Text

Stolas fixed his robe after dropping the contents in his stomach in the bathroom. That was not a pretty sight. He crawls back to bed, craving the warmth of his lover. Blitz mumbles in his sleep, turning to the side in order to hide himself in Stolas' fluff. 

"Goodmorning Blitzy!" 

His lover groans, "Five more minutes.." 

"I'm afraid its already been 2 hours since you've said that dear." 

Blitz mumbles something.

"What was that?"

"Yer breath stinks." Stolas smiles. His Blitzy, honest as ever. "Do you want to have breakfast here, darling?" 

"Eh, want to make Loonie some pancakes. She likes 'em with tequila." 

"I suppose Octavia is up to sleep. Owl biology and all."

Blitz sits up, stretching his body. Stolas watched as the spikes in his back expands through the movement. "Y'know Blitzy your morning glow is second best to the after sex glow." 

"Bitch I look good in anything. Period." 

Stolas tackles him in kisses. 

Unfortunately for them it had to be cut short when the workers had knocked on the door. In honor of his lover, Stolas had given a chance to all of his imp-bred workers a resignation slip but still get their 5 months worth of pay. The ones who are willing to stay are always welcomed, but now the palace not only had imps, but a few sinners too. The former C-H-E-R-U-B-S even work there. Tending to the simple daily horse work. Instead of eating them, Stolas had hired them. There were too precious is all. Blitz and M&M weren't entirely thrilled but don't have much of a choice.

"Oh how delightful! Thank you Pringles!" the chef nods and left the spouses. Blitz had already dug into some of the cheese and sipped on his ice coffee as if his life depends on it. 

Stolas was about to dig into his own meal until he smelt the stench. His usual breakfast, bone cereal, had made him halt. 

He went down again, sniffing it just to make sure it wasn't rotten (as dubious it may be) but it only made him gag more. Blitz rose a brow, "The fucks wrong?" Stolas gave him the bowl, "Does it smell off?" Blitz leans down and gives it a sniff despite lacking q nose, "Pretty fresh t'me." 

Stolas frowns. Maybe it was his morning nose being stuffy. He shrugs it off and takes a bite into it then only having to spit it right out after.

"What the fuck babe—?!" Blitz stands up and runs to his lovers side, Stolas hadn't leaned close to the other and ran out of he room, afraid he'll spill his guts out on the kitchen. Blitz, bless his heart, follows him. Stolas lurches in the comfort room, Blitz in all honesty isn't one bit bothered, having used to more gruesome things. 

Though the thought of the Goetia Prince unwell like this? Oh no, no, no.

"You good?" he walks closer to the other when he flushed the toilet. Stolas let out one more cough and washed himself, "Im afraid I'm having a stomach bug my love." 

"The fuck ya ate?" 

Stolas frowns, "I don't.. I don't know." he replied dumbly. "I'm sure I can find it don't worry, I have a spell for this after all." 

"I swear if it's that daddy fucker bitch—"

"Don't overthink it Blitzy. I may be sick now but I can assure you lethal poison is the least thing to work on me." he turns around to shut the door closed. "I suppose I'll book an appointment for a check up. I did visit Heaven yesterday, I may have shed too much of their light." 

Blitz couldn't tell if it was a joke. Stolas had changed his usual meal plan to something far more.. off to say the least. He called in to deliver deep fried junk from the famous Whack House in hell. Even Blitz hated that gunk. In the meantime, the prince had appointed his trusted doctor at the palace 

"Well your Highness, you have got yourself 1-2 weeks and then you'll be laying an egg." 

Stolas spat his tea. 

"I beg you pardon?" 

The peacock demon took of their spectacles an revised the notes one more time. "You're fertile."

Stolas rose from his seat, "That is impossible! I'm male!" 

The peacock sat down, "Yes you are, your Grace, but as it states here, you are carrying an egg. It is possible your biology.. or anatomy has to do with this, though as far as I'm concerned it's probably a potion of some sort."

"Why would I drink a fertile potion?" 

"Who knows what kinks you're up to." 

"Y'know Sheng, I never liked you." 

The doctor rolls his eyes. "But thats to it. You're fertile. Abortion choices aren't too late. Give me a call if you need anything." the peacock stood up and tidied themselves up.

"If I'm being frank, an avian and Imp hybrid would be interesting.. unless the imp isn't the father?"

Stolas glares at him, "How dare you imply I'd cheat on Blitzy! And his name is Blitz."

The doctor shrugs, "I'm playing with you Prince. All hell knows you're head over heels for him." with that, he left.

He has 336 hours to think about this. 

Blitz got back from his bizz, slamming the doors open with a wide grin. "What's gotten you all high and mighty?" Octavia speaks up, eyes still glued to her book. "Great news Octagon! I just made the biggest fucking sale yet!"

"It's Octavia." she corrects. She lost count on how many times she'd done that.

"Whatever you say Octi! Now I have your dad to fuck—" he happily skips up the rounded stairs leaving the two step sisters to judge Blitz. 

"Hubby's home babe!" he grins and his eyes glow bright. Stolas was seated in the balcony, deep in thought.  He jumps in surprise when he felt hands on his shoulders. "Blitzy!" 

The smaller male kissed his lovers cheek. "Hows the doctors?" 

"Um—" 

"You shouldn't be out here y'know, get to bed with me~" he whispers just enough to make Stolas bite his lip. "I-I don't— I don't think I'm up for-for tonight dear I'm sorry.." Blitz smiled warmly. "Don't sweat it Stol. We can jus' cuddle an' watch movies." he kissed his cheek one more time. "For real though ya gotta get inside." 

Stolas tried being teasing him but Blitz to ended up carrying him to bed instead. Oh his strong, dashing knight in shining armor. Blitz was in their bathroom cleaning himself up. Meanwhile Stolas was debating whether or not he tell him about it or no. 

Does he tell this dramatically? Can he do that one bun in the oven thing humans do? Or does he flat out tell him. His thoughts were once again cut short to the door slamming open. Blitz having used to the whole, smashing ordeal. Pun is very much intended. 

The male hopped into bed, remote in hand. "Wha'cha wanna watch?" Stolas takes off his reading glasses and leans closer to his imps warmth. "Anything you have in mind, love." 

They ended up watching reruns, during he half of it, Stolas managed to muster up the guts, and turns around to see Blitz sleeping soundly. Other than waking him up, he turns the television off. His lover had a long day, maybe he'll try telling him tomorrow.

He spoke too soon. He didn't have time. He woke up to a cold side on the bed and there was no Blitz beside him. Only a little note written in sparkly gel. It was strawberry scented too.

' cantr gowwe bae i gots to do werk lawlz se u in 2 wiks o3o ' it read. 

Butchy on a stick this would be difficult than he'd thought.

He spent that day trying to contact Mildred and Moxximulom. 

"He gave you a day off?"

"I know right? My poor Moxx still thinks it's bullshit." 

Stolas sits on the couch, he sighs in defeat. 

"Som'in' wrong prince?" Millie's concerned voice coos. It's better than carrying this lump right? He takes a gulp of his pride and scoots his mouth closer to the rotary phone. 

"I have to tell you something, Mildred. And you mustn't tell a soul." his voice was serious, after a moment the female imp replies: "Sure!"

Another deep breath, "I am going to be laying an egg. Blitzy's the father." 

"WHAT THE FUCK—?!"

"Oh Moxxie calm down hon— wait a moment prince." the line was silent for a while. Only mumbles were evident. Then he heard scuffles, when the phone was picked up he can still hear a few mumblings, assuming it were Moxxies. 

"Oh goodness are you both alright?"

"Yeah it's jus' Moxx." she clears her throat, "REALLY!?" she squealed, gushed, rather. 

Stolas shushed her, "I haven't told anyone but you yet!" 

She then gasped, "Ya haven't told Blitz? Why?" 

"I haven't got the time. He was far too tired when he got home and left early." 

"Holy shit yer gon' be shittin' out a lil egg?! Thats so cute!" she smiles, seemingly imagining a mini Blitz turning people into horses with their Goetic magic. 

"It would be out in 2 weeks— oh Mildred what do I do?! We-We haven't discussed kids— I know we have our own but we still haven't discussed children together! What do I do!?" 

"Calm down prince I think we coule handle this just fine."

Stolas raised a brow.

"We?" 

"Y'aint the only one carrying a coupl'a devils."