Chapter Text
Jevil hummed a simple tune to himself. It wasn't easy, being the only one free with no one else bothering to listen to his explanations, but he had grown used to it. The only true visitor he had felt like ages ago. Yes, that silly little party who partook in his "numbers game", the one with the Lightners. In a strange, nostalgic sort of way, he missed them. Ah, the way their leader had dodged! It was almost mesmerizing, almost as if they had done it before.
Then a knock came at the cell door.
Visitors? he thought, At this hour?
He stared at an invisible wrist watch before chuckling to himself as he walked closer to the entrance. He faked a quick little sob and a plea to open the cage, curious as to how newcomers would find the key.
A voice from behind was what started it all.
"HELLO!!!"
Jevil let out a scream, something not so usual for him. The voice, he found, was a rather short salesman with hair that looked hurriedly combed back and pink and yellow glasses. He looked frantically around his little freedom. There was no doors this person could've come in through, aside from the cell door that had been locked for years. "Who are you?"
"THE NAME'S SPAM-SPAMTON G. SPAMTON" Its voice glitched, something that Jevil normally would've taken an acute interest in. But he was startled. Nervous wasn't the right word, he didn't fear for anything, but he was startled. How in the world did it get in here?
And wow, that smile was starting to creep him out.
"SAY, YOU LOOK LIKE QUITE THE [Comic Relief]" Spamton tilted his head as he looked Jevil up and down. "HOW'S ABOUT WE MAKE A DEAL?" How was he doing that with its voice? It sounded like he was grabbing random clips of sound from the air and using them whenever it was convenient.
Jevil gave it an incredulous look in response. "How did you-?"
"THIS IS A [Once In A Lifetime] [Special Event!]" The intruder interrupted. A closer look told Jevil that he was not from this world. His outfit was strangely polygonal, and was, for the most part, monochromatic. "[Act] NOW, DEALS LIKE THESE ARE [Running Away As Fast As They Can]"
Oh, well, Jevil thought to himself, as he composed himself and got back into character, a visitor's a visitor.
"JUST FOR YOU WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL [One-of-a-kind] [[Hyperlink blocked.]]!!! IN EXCHANGE [You recieve:] [Kromer] FOR A MERE FRACTION OF THE PRICE!" He reached out his hand, as if he were expecting a hand shake. "WHADDYA SAY, [BIG SHOT]? WE GOT A DEAL?"
"It's just so sad, sad." Jevil frowned as he placed his head in his hand. Spamton titled his head in confusion.
"You're trapped in a prison, prison. One with no walls or door, one with no ceiling or floor." Jevil allowed his smile to grow wider. "I suppose, if you look behind the scenes, we're not so different, you and me."
Spamton's expression flickered, something that the untrained eye would not be able to see. Luckily, nothing about Jevil was untrained. "MY ESTEEM CUSTOMER I MUST ASK YOU TO ELABORATE" It requested, only allowing himself a subtle furrow of his brows. (Wait, did he even have brows? Jevil didn't know nor did he care.)
"Look beyond yourself, look at those silly strings dangling above your head. You claim you have free will, but you are someone else's plaything instead. It's disappointing, really, for I thought I was the only one of this town quote-unquote 'free,'" Jevil purred with a sick smile on his face, "but it seems that you're trapped just like me."
"SO DO YOU WANT THE [Kromer] OR NOT"
He paused to think. "Tell you what, if you can beat me in a simple little numbers game, I'll take the deal."
Spamton's eyes widened. "[Oh boy!] I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF [Illegal Gambling]!!! HOW DO WE PLAY?" He bounced excitedly on the balls of his feet.
"If you can get my HP to zero, you'll win and I'll take the deal. But if I manage to do it first-" which shouldn't prove to be difficult, he thought- "that means I win, and you'll have to leave me alone."
"SPLENDID!!! THEN NOW'S YOUR CHANCE TO BE A BIG SHOT!"
"Oh, but of course." Jevil summoned his army of card suits. The clubs looked sharper and pointier than usual.
"After all, I can do anything."