Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“You know, most people entering the Smash House for the first time are anxious and nervous.”

Sora turned around to Link and laughed, “Why should I be? This isn’t my first time doing something like this!”

“That is true…” The Hero of the Wilds paused for a moment, “I just know that I was surprised when I first entered in this incarnation of myself.” 

“In car-whatnow?” Sora interrupted suddenly.

Link sighed, “There are multiple Links. We get reborn and it’s almost more of a title now.”

Sora nodded, “Oh, like my name isn’t Wielder of the Keyblade despite every baddie thinking that’s my name!”

Link took a deep breath, “Yeah, sure, like that.” he shook his head, “Anyways, I was amazed when I entered this version of the Smash House and saw my…” sigh, “my Baddie… sitting inside.”

Sora laughed and threw his hands behind his head, “Well, I know that can’t happen. Disney Copyright lawyers made sure of that! No Maleficent or Pete to be found!”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about it. I have to keep the World Order!” Sora stopped the mutter to himself, “Do I really? There’s like 100 worlds meeting up here, I think I can… but Goofy isn’t here to make sure.”

Cutting through Sora’s musing, Link continued, “Anyways, I think you’re the first one from your series to be here, but it’s just always good to keep an open mind. Remember, no fighting in the house. You can fight during the ordained fights, not outside of them.”

“Yeah, yeah, just like the Colosseum.” Sora waved him off before putting his hand on the doorknob to enter.

---

Sephiroth was having a great day. 

There was supposed to be a new arrival coming today, the final room was finally to be filled. He had spent all day cleaning and getting ready. Bowser’s Rapid Spin combined with Kirby’s suction abilities made removing dust a breeze.

Cloud had gone off to get the supplies for the welcome party as Sephiroth purposefully gave him tasks that would separate the two.

The two of them still had a… rocky… relationship. He understood, he really did. He did murder his almost girlfriend in front of him and murder everyone he loved. However, Sephiroth was nothing if not a stickler for rules. And the rules said no fighting outside of the sanctioned fight. And he was going to follow that rule. To. The. Letter. 

(The rest of the rules were about keeping the living areas clean and helping to repair the arenas and such, and so he had taken it upon himself to make a chore chart, it was color coded and everything.)

Using a combination of Kirby’s and Link’s recipes, Sephiroth had thrown together a wonderful spread for lunch. As he was testing the cookies (still a few more minutes), he overheard some of the other folks chatting. 

Lucina and Byleth were chatting about the new arrival, “I don’t know who they are, but I heard that they don’t use a sword! They fight with some manner of weapon, but it isn’t a sword!” Which Byleth responded with a grin and hugging her axe. Joker nearby flipped his knife and grinned.

“I heard that whoever it was is insanely popular!” Bayonetta stage whispered over to the bear and bird combo. “I wonder if they could have possibly been more requested than me?” The bird popped her head out of the bag to respond with a “Dream big, HairBrain!”

Ganondorf walked over to look at the spread that Sephiroth had made, “Good work. You really went all out.” He looked Sephiroth in the eyes, “You must be really excited?”

“Yeah.” he admitted, “it’s the last addition. Might as well go all out.”

“And so you can finally fill in that last spot on your chore chart!” Zelda yelled out. The others in the room gave a snort.

“Well, that is a nice benefit.” Sephiroth admitted.

The door bust open to show Cloud had returned from the cornerstore, “Aight, I’m back with the cups and soda.” He placed them on the table Sephiroth had made a giant “DRINKS HERE” sign for. “Oh yeah,” Cloud waved over to everyone, “Link has met with the newbie. They’re on their way over.”

At that announcement, the whole room went into overdrive. Streamers were flying, furniture was moving. Ganon directed Ness and Lucas to help carry the food over to the meal table while Sephiroth opened the oven to get the cookies out.

He had them perfectly on the tray when the door finally opened. “Oh yeah, I used to do all sorts of fights at the Olympus Colosseum!” The voice travelled in.

No.

It was hard to make out in the light, but that spiky hair.

No.

“Oh hey! Cloud is here! I thought you said I wouldn’t know anyone!”

NO NO NO NO NO.

“And Sephiroth!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The plate of cookies clattered to the ground, burning his abs. He could see nothing anymore, all that mattered was getting out. He needed to get out of here. 

Without a second thought, Sephiroth was out the door. Slamming into the - don’t say his name - person that entered and pushing his way to freedom. The moment he felt the sun on his back, he breathed a little better but did not stop moving. He had to get away. Unbidden, the singular wing burst out of his back, propelling him further. 

You know, I understand Cloud a little better now .

---

“Wow, haven’t seen him in a while!” Sora laughed. “Oh, look! Cookies!” he reached down to grab one off the floor.

“What… was that?” Ganon’s deep voice echoed through the room. 

Everyone was silent.

Actually, scratch that, most people were silent. 

Cloud was rolling on the floor laughing, “Sora! Sora! That. That was. That was the BEST!”

Marth turned over to his usually stalwart companion in quiet reflection in confusion, “What… what is going on? What’s so funny?”

Cloud wiped away a few tears from his eyes as Link very slowly entered the house in fear, “Oh, not much. Just…,” he chuckled again, “Just that Sora is the one person in all of the universe to beat Sephiroth in fully even one on one combat.”

“What.” Ganon cut in.

“As much as I hate to admit it, my defeat of Sephiroth was incomplete and… well, I had a team. And he practically ended it himself.” Cloud looked off to the side, “But… Sora? Sora has beaten him in one on one combat… TWICE!”

As one, the whole room spun back over to look at the newest recruit. The newest recruit who was currently - trying - to pick a cookie off the floor. “Wow, these are really hot! I just can’t get a grip!”

“Have you tried getting ice?” Cloud kindly suggested.

“Oh yeah!” Sora ran over to the cups and soda that Sephiroth had painstakingly organized, knocking them all over to get to the cup of ice. Dropping the cookie in the ice, he sighed, “There we go. Perfect!”

Cloud smiled patiently at his old friend while everyone looked on in confusion. Byleth’s face was twisted in teacherly exhaustion.

“Anyways!” Sora spun around, “I’ve really missed you, Cloud! And I’m super excited to fight Sephiroth again! I bet he ran off to practice!” With a dopy grin he took a bite of the cookie, “Miss his cool wing though.”

Dr. Mario cringed, remembering how that cookie was on the floor. 

“Anyone else want one of these, they’re delicious!”

Cloud grinned at the realization that Sephiroth’s Chore Chart was never going to be used again, as, well, Sora was 19 and never learned how to read. 

“You know, I think this place is really looking up now.” Cloud smiled.

Sora beamed, “Me too!”

Chapter Text

Claude, I need your help.

What’s up, Teach? I thought you were busy with your gods r us fighting rink?

Stop it. I need you to get me something.

What?

My teaching supplies.

What?

I have… a new student.

What is going on?

The newest person here doesn’t know how to read. I need my supplies for teaching Cyril, and my motivation tools for Hilda and Raphael.

Oh… Oh no.

Please hurry.

While waiting for Claude to get back to them, Byleth slowly stood up and made their way across the room to the newest addition to the Smash House. He was cheerfully laughing alongside his friends, playing a fighting game despite having no idea what was going on. 

They was loathe to break this up, but, there were more urgent matters. 

Standing up at their full height, they prepared their face and cleared their throat. 

At the very sound of their throat clearing, Ness and Young Link sprinted from the room, terrified. Sora, however, had no idea. 

“Excuse me, Sora?”

Flipping over the couch, Sora grinned at the blue haired new friend and waved, “Oh hi! What’s your name?”

“I’m Byleth.” They stated, “I have a question?”

“Of course! Shoot!” He made finger guns.

Byleth’s face froze for a moment while processing the finger guns, “Wha..” They shook their head, “Anyways, how old are you?”

“I’m 16…. I think?”

“You… think?”

“There’s some weird sleeping and time travel.”

Byleth nodded sagely, “That I do understand. I lost 5 years of my life to that.”

Sora beamed, “Someone gets it!”

“Anyways,” they cut in before Sora could run off with the conversation, “Pardon me if this is a rude question,”

Sora cut in, “I’ve never heard a rude question before!”

Byleth sighed and started again, “So! Do you know how to read?”

“Nope!” Sora grinned.

The room stopped. Game was paused. Everyone stared.

“You… you don’t know how to read?” Fox quietly asked.

“Nope! Always had Donald and Goofy or Riku to read for me!” Sora nodded.

“But you said you lived in a world with like an organized civilization?” Samus gasped.

Cloud cut in, “And you were totally reading in Radiant Garden!”

“No, that’s where you got it wrong Cloud, I was literally jumping inside a magic book of children’s stories to play with a childhood friend.” Sora shook his head sadly, “Simple misunderstanding, I understand.”

Cloud slumped back down, dumbfounded.

Sora then spun over to Samus, “And yeah! We had school… I just… haven’t been in a long time. Adventuring and all.” he crossed his arms proudly.

Incoming, Teach!

Thank you, the situation is worse than I thought. I will need this.

They held out their hands to catch the books pulled through the mental link by Sothis. 

“What are those?” Sora tilted his head at the new pile of books in Byleth’s arms.

A terrifying grin slowly appeared on Byleth’s face, “Oh, just some work for you.”

“Work?” Sora took a step back. 

“Yep! And don’t you dare try to get out of this.” And before he knew it, the Sword of the Creator was wrapped around him like a whip. They turned and smiled at the rest of the housemates, “Anyways, we’re off to do some learning!”

Byleth skipped away, Sora dragging behind them on the ground.

Ness and Young Link slowly crept out of their hiding place when they realized her teaching ire wasn’t point at them, sighing in relief. 

The moment, Byleth’s door closed, the front door opened. Sephiroth stumbled in, exhausted. 

Looking around, he was confused to see that everyone was in a state of disarray. “What happened?” He stood tall once more, brushing away the signs of exercise from his person.

He had turned to Cloud for an answer, but the younger swordsman seemed to be strangely comatose. Turning over to the rest, his eyes obviously were asking for an answer.

“Did…” Fox started, “Did you know that Sora can’t read?”

“HE WAS JUMPING INTO THE POOH BOOK!” Cloud burst out before flopping over and breathing heavily into the chair cushion.

“That too, apparently. And also something about deep sleep and not going to school?” Samus slowly stated, more confused by her words than anything.

Sephiroth dropped his sword and cloak, “He what? ”

In a daze, he slowly made his way to his own room, entering and then flopping on his bed.

I was defeated by a child who never learned how to read.

Chapter Text

“It’s real nice of you to show me around.” Sora chimed in as he followed the older man. 

“Oh, it’s-a no problem.” Mario grinned at the newest member of the house, “I’m… I’m kinda the de-facto leader so this, uh, this kinda stuff falls to me.” and then under his breathe added, “It always falls to me.”

Sora just grinned and kept going. If there was one thing he learned from Riku, it was to allow people to mutter under their breath.

“So where we off to?”

“Oh, I’m, uh, I’m gonna show you the fighting rooms, and, uh, the locker rooms.”

“Ah, sweet! Nicer than having to hide my stuff in the ship!”

Mario stared for a moment before remembering that apparently this new arrival was used to interdimensional travel. Of course he had a spaceship.

“So, Sora? What’s your world like?”

Sora threw his arms behind his head, “Oh, the one I grew up on? It was called Destiny Islands! It was a bunch of islands in the ocean. I spent all my time swimming and playing with my friends on random islands. It was going great until future present past Xehanort came and freaked me out and then ate my island in shadows, kicking me out to Traverse Town. But, hey! Then I got to meet my friends Donald and Goofy!”

Mario blinked, “Okay.”

“What’s your world like! It’s so cool I’m finally somewhere where I can talk about other worlds!” Sora was jumping up and down in excitement.

“Oh, it’s not too much. It’s called the Mushroom Kingdom.”

“This might be a good spot to find some ingredients.” Sora mock whispered, much to Mario’s confusion. “Don’t worry about it.” he quickly covered up.

“Okay…” Mario continued, “Anyways, I was a plumber once upon a time, but since then I’ve been upgraded to the main defender of the kingdom. It’s exhausting, but someone’s got to do it.”

“Plumber?” Sora titled their head in confusion. “What’s that?”

“You know.. Someone who fixes pipes in like kitchens?”

Sora squinted at him, “No idea. I get what the castle defender is, I’ve done that before. But I’ve never heard of a plum-mer.”

“Didn’t you have a bathroom?”

“I mean, yeah!”

“That has pipes.”

“I don’t believe you. I thought it was magic.”

Mario blinked. “Magic? Ma--” he stopped himself, “I’ll be telling Byleth about that.”

Sora gulped, “But… I already have so much to learn. Do I really have to learn about plumbing?”

“You need to know how basic things work.”

Sora pouted, but continued to follow Mario. “Fine. I guess. Ugh.”

Mario smiled and kept walking until the pair was passed by another pair.

“Oh, hello Ganon, Sephiroth.”

“Ah, showing that new kid around?” the King of the Gerudo asked.

“Yessir!” Mario nodded.

Sephiroth was standing in the back, glaring at the newcomer. 

“You know, you’re gonna have to get over your aversion to him, right?”

“But it does not have to happen immediately.” Sephiroth counted.

“Hi!” Sora waved, oblivious to everything as he was aggressively trying to write in a notepad her pulled out of his pockets.

Sephiroth tried his best to clear his throat and talk to his nemesis, “I.. I see you’re writing something down? Your lessons with Byleth are going well?”

“Yeah!” Sora cheered, “I think I get the letters mostly. And… she told me to write down things I need to learn. So…”

“And what did you add this time, boy?” Ganon asked.

“Plumb-ing?” Sora timidly read out, “You sure there’s a B in this word, Mario? It seems dumb.”

Sephiroth blinked. 

“You didn’t have plumbing in your world?” Ganon asked.

“Nope!” Sora replied.

“Well, we’ll be off.” Mario grabbed the young kid and pushed him away upon seeing Sephiroth’s face. The face that was, at this moment, twisting up in anger.

As soon as the two were out of eyesight, Ganon turned towards his friend. “What? I mean, my world didn’t have plumbing yet, so I had to learn. I’m sure he’ll figure it out fast.”

“HIS WORLD DID HAVE PLUMBING! I’VE BEEN THERE. IT DID.”

“Oh.” Ganon stared in the direction the two had gone, dumbfounded.

Sephiroth fell to the ground, exhausted.

How…..

Chapter Text

Sora had a few more days until he was expected to begin fighting in this world’s version of the Hades Cup or whatever, so he chose to spend it exploring. 

And getting to know everyone. There were so many hearts to get to know.

He found one of the battlegrounds that wasn’t being use today and chose to have fun. The place was great! It had all these great trees and buildings that reminded him of home! And he could climb them and eat some fruit and jump up a waterfall.

Also, these barrels! He wanted them! Why couldn’t he have those at home! 

He paused for a moment, imagining shooting Riku out of one of those barrels into the water and burst out in laughter. 

To his left, he heard a noise. Rustling himself deeper into the palm fronds, he held his breath.

What if that’s Byleth, looking for me?

He hadn’t finished his writing practice yet. He was planning on doing it later, but like what if? The last time he chose to put off an assignment, he got that freaky sword to drag him away. He was then offered meat if he finished his work, which was nice, he guessed. Didn’t know why Byleth assumed meat would sway him. 

Also didn’t get why Byleth didn’t understand his aversion to eating duck meat.

Donald would kill him.

An involuntary shudder went up Sora’s spine. 

At the same moment, the other person in the area made themselves known.

A giant gorilla wearing a red tie wandered out onto the scene with a small monkey friend ( a chimp, right? ). Besides them was that bear and bird combo, Banjo? 

Sora had never seen this gorilla before, but he sure as hell wanted to be his friend.

Leaping down from the tree, Sora rolled into a similar position to his friend Tarzan and approached. 

“What… What are you doing?” The red bird squawked “Why the hell is he walking like this?” the bird turned their question down to their bear companion.

“I sure don’t know, Kazooie.” Banjo replied, “You know Sora, have you met DK here before?”

“His name’s DK?” Sora straightened a little bit, “Nice to meet you!” he held his hand out.

Dk grinned and bellowed out a greeting before gripping Sora’s hands with his own. 

Hearing DK speak Gorilla, Sora grinned and responded in kind. 

Kazooie’s jaw dropped to Banjo’s shoulder while DK and Diddy Kong were, for the lack of a better term, going apeshit.

Diddy rapidly responded back only for Sora to frown slightly, “Hmmm. I only really learned some Gorilla from one of my old friends. I don’t know your accent yet, sorry friend.” he switched back to English.

The two ape friends nodded sagely and then grabbed the teen and dragged him off, chatting loudly. 

---

“You’ll never believe the shit we just saw.” Kazooie yelled out when Banjo opened the door. 

“Kazooie, come on, what did we say about swearing?” Banjo moaned.

“Can it, Bear, this is actually shocking.” the bird talked over him.

Banjo sadly nodded, “Okay, but it actually is interesting.”

Mario, Byleth, and Sephiroth were in the middle of a nice game of Risk when the pair had burst in, and so they politely turned to ask what was going on.

“Yes, what is so interesting to break the Swear Jar rule?” Byleth intoned blandly.

“So we were walking around with DK and Diddy and saw something real neat.” Banjo began.

And was immediately run over by Kazooie, “Did you know that Sora can speak Gorilla?”

Byleth blinked, “What.”

“Are you sure?” Mario blankly questioned.

“Yep! They had a full conversation!” Kazooie replied, indignant that she was being questioned. 

“I mean, you know we can understand the monkeys, and we could understand Sora.” Banjo added.

“I didn’t mean to discredit you…” Byleth began.

“It’s just…” Mario picked up. “Sora is….”

Banjo nodded, “Yeah.”

“I know, right?” Kazooie hollered, “That’s why I felt this negated the swear rule.”

“Passed.” Byleth replied subconsciously.

The trio looked down at their game. 

“I think I need time to absorb this.” Byleth stated as they got up from the table. 

Mario nodded, “It’s… a lot.”

The two left the table, leaving Sephiroth alone.

“He can speak to monkeys?” Sephiroth whispered to himself.

Chapter Text

“So... I heard you liked cooking?” Link awkwardly began while turning towards Sora. 

Sora was sitting next to Link, polishing his keyblade after a quick fight with the Hylian. 

“Yep! Learned a lot about it on my last adventure!”

Link grinned, “Wanna share recipes?”

Sora scratched the back of his head, “Well, to be honest, I’m not the best at all the cooking stuff, I’m just really good at finding ingredients.”

“Well, let’s go forage then!” Link replied.

---

The two heroes were wandering through a wooded area together, both impressed with the other as to how keen of an eye the other had to ingredients.

“I can’t lie, I’m impressed at how quickly you were able to get those fish!” Link exclaimed, “Fishing is always the hardest part!”

“Well,” Sora chuckled, “Being able to use Stopga and Gravity does really help.” He looked over to Link, “I didn’t know all those plants could be useful!”

Link looked over at Sora, puzzled, “You don’t know about herbs and spices? I mean, sometimes on the road I’d forsake them, but they can make simple meals so much better.”

“You cook on the road?”

“Where… where did you cook?”

“At a restaurant, of course!”

“I thought… I thought you were on the road a lot.”

“Well, yeah.” Sora threw his arms behind his head, “But, like, I would just take the Gummi Ship back to Twilight Town and cook up a meal or two back at Scrooge’s place with Remi.”

Link leaned down to grab another herb, “Oh, and who’s Remi?”

“Remi the rat!”

Link froze, “Was this like… Fox or Falco or…”

“Nope!” Sora beamed, “He was a regular rat, he just sat in my hair and controlled me.”

Link, still frozen, was silent for a moment before slowly standing up, “I think we got enough ingredients for today, let’s head back. Actually… I’ll meet you back.”

“Sure thing! See you later, Link!” The Keyblade wielder chuckled and wandered back in the general direction of the Smash House.

Link, however, ran to Dr. Mario’s clinic, praying to the goddesses that he would run into Sephiroth on the way.

---

The door to the clinic slammed open, the Hero of Hyrule barreling through. Dr. Mario froze, glad that he was in-between patients.

“What’s up?” the Doctor asked, rather concerned.

“You... “ Link took a second to catch his breath, “You need to do a thorough bug and infection check on Sora, especially his hair.”

Dr. Mario only cocked his eyebrow in concern, begging Link to explain.

“He used to cook with a rat in his hair. ”

“What.” Dr. Mario spun to check his schedule and if he had skin and follicle tests available.

Link took a few deep breaths before he stood up and started back towards the door. “Please get him checked out. And…” he paused, “Do you know where Sephiroth is? I need to tell him to take Sora off of cooking duty.”

Almost as if summoned, Sephiroth opened the door to the clinic, swooping in for his weekly check up.

“I don’t mean to pry, but what was that about Sora and cooking duty? His shift is supposed to start soon.” the winged angel sighed, obviously trying to be as civil as possible. 

“Don’t.” Link replied.

“Why?”

Link sighed, and Dr. Mario subtly maneuvered Sephiroth in front of the patient’s chair. 

“He doesn’t actually know how to cook, he just let a literal rat sit in his hair and control him.”

As expected, Sephiroth collapsed into the chair Dr. Mario had placed him by. “I… can’t let him cook. But…”

“I’ll take over for tonight if you can get him to get his hair checked out by the Doctor here.”

With more wherewithal than Sephiroth himself knew he had, he was able to sit up and look Link in the eye and nod. “Deal.”

Link nodded and ran off, hoping to find Byleth to distract Sora while Link took over cooking. Meanwhile, Sephiroth stayed where he was, so out of it that he didn’t even notice the Doctor starting to examine his wing.

“He let a rat sit in his hair? ” He whispered, “He thought that was cooking? ”

Chapter Text

“Hey Samus!” 

Samus froze in spot at hearing Sora call out for her after their fight. She spun around to look at the approaching boy. 

“Yes, Sora?” Her brow furrowed in confusion seeing the stars in Sora’s eyes.

“I had no idea that you had a ship! How did you manage to get it approved to be used here in Smash? I haven’t gone in space in forever and I miss it!”

Samus blinked a few times before responding, “You go to space?”

“Well yeah!” Sora rolled his eyes, “How else do you think I went in between the different worlds? I had my Gummi Ship!”

“Gummi… Ship?”

Sora nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah! I don’t know why it was called that… I think because it was constructed using Gummi tech and pieces?” He stopped for a moment to think back to what Donald had told him. 

Taken aback at the fact that Sora seemed to know the word constructed, Samus continued her questioning, “Gummi tech?”

He grinned, “Yeah! Pieces I found throughout the universe that I could use to improve my ship! I found everything from more guns to warp drives to -”

“Warp drives?” Samus interrupted as her brain was trying to follow, “Guns? Sora, your ship had guns?”

Sora’s face fell in confusion, “Um… duh? Doesn’t yours?”

“I… I didn’t realize your universe was so dangerous.”

“Well yeah, the Heartless and Nobodies had a whole fleet of ships to prevent peaceful travelling between the worlds and to also find holes in the world’s defense to take over. Of course we have to have defenses!”

Samus’s face lit up, “I had no idea. Wanna see my ship?”

Sora jumped at the opportunity, “Of course!”

As the two started to walk away, Samus decided to keep the conversation going, “So… you said that you would improve your ship… how did you do that?”

“Oh, I would design them myself. Chip and Dale would do the maintenance, but I would design and improve the ship myself.”

Samus missed a step as she took that in before moving on, “Amazing, and how would you come up with your designs?”

“Oh, you know… copying the good designs from the enemy ships we would take down and editing them to include the better technology I would find. I would kinda edit on the fly to best suit the route we were taking that day.”

“Feel free to offer any suggestions in my ship.”

The door to the Smash Fight Waiting Room shut as the pair headed off.

In the corner, Sephiroth sunk down into a seat, Ganon next to him.

“You okay?” the Gerudo whispered to his best friend.

“No.” Sephiroth answered honestly, “He can’t read. He can’t read but he can design spaceships on the fly to defeat enemy hoards.”

Falco walked over and slumped down next to the pair, “Fucked up, tbh.”

“Fucked up.” Sephiroth whispered.

Chapter Text

“So, I know this may be hard to understand, but the Phazon isn’t just an energy source, it’s living. And it infects and takes over.” Samus looked at him very seriously, “And that is why you need to be careful around Dark Samus. It could infect you and corrupt you.”

Sora blinked a few times before putting his hand on his chin. “Nah, I’ll be fine.”

Samus squawked, “Were you not listening to me?”

Sora had already begun to stand up and head out, so he turned his head towards the bounty hunter, “Oh, I was. I just figured out a way to connect with your other half.”

Samus sighed and turned to Cloud, “Well, I’m gonna go let Link know he has to stop a murder again.”

Cloud put up a hand to stop her, “No, he’ll be fine.”

“What do you mean? He’s dealing with, like, world ending evil energy.”

“Let’s just say that Darkness and world ending evils are kind of his forte.” Cloud winked, “Just trust me.”

Samus narrowed her eyes, “I’m following and watching this.”

“Be my guest.”

---

“Hey!” Sora bounded over to the Phazon creation, “Hey there!”

“What.”

“So, what should I call you? I know that people refer to you as Dark Samus, but, you know, I believe in autonomy of creations, so what do you want to be called?”

Dark Samus stared blankly, “Are you serious?”

“Of course!’ Sora gave them a thumbs up, “All of the creations of my heart, both manifested of Light and Dark have their own names! I have Roxas and Xion and Namine (kinda) and Shadow and”

“Enough.” Sora was cut off, “I… I don’t have much opinion on a name.”

“Hmmm…” Sora paused to think, “We can think up something! How about, for now, I call you DS?”

“DS?”

“Just short for what you’re currently being called. But, you know, not just calling you Samus 2 or something. We can come up with something better later.”

“Acceptable.”

“Awesome! Okay, DS, now to start to plan a better name for you.”

Instead of answering, DS just stared at Sora, “You are different that I anticipated you would be.”

“Why’s that?” Sora looked over at them for a moment and then continued scribbilng on a piece of paper.

“I heard you were a warrior for the light.”

“Oh. Yeah, I am! I’m a Wielder of the Keyblade and one of the Guardians of Light. Yeah.”

“Why are you seeking company of the Phazon then? I’m positive Samus has warned you of the dangers.”

“What’s friendship without a little danger?” Sora chuckled, “But really, me and most of my friends have navigated the Darkness, and I’ve found nothing but friends there.”

DS would have furrowed their brows if they had brows.

“I mean, personally, I’ve turned into an agent of Darkness, like, twice? And then also have had parts of me break off and be in the Darkness. So, I figure that’s like you, right?”

“You are… very strange.” DS finally conceded.

“Yeah!” Sora smiled at them, “Anyways, I was thinking, if you don’t mind, I could use the naming scheme for my Darkness?”

“And what is that?”

“Mixing the letters around and adding an X. Don’t worry, I won’t add the Dark Magic to it to make it a tracking beacon, it’ll just be a name.”

“The what?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Sora quickly replied, “So, how about Saxsum?”

“Are you kidding?”

“Your name is hard.” Sora pouted, “And it sounds kinda like a knight name or something.”

“Fine.”

“Nice to meet you, Saxsum!”

"Changed my mind, call me Phaaze. I can't take that name seriously."

"Sure thing!"

---

“You have to be kidding me.” Samus whispered.

“This is kinda… what he does.” Cloud replied.

“What who does?” Sephiroth walked up behind them, curious as to what had Samus’s attention.

“Sora.”

“What… did he do today?” Sephiroth gingerly asked.

“Befriended Dark Samus, I mean… Phaaze? I guess…. And gave them a new name.”

“What.”

“Apparently he’s faced the Darkness and defeated it and so he felt a connection to them.”

“Something you still have yet to learn, Cloud.”

“I will kill you one day.” Cloud responded.

“That’s nice.” Sephiroth replied as he transported away, unable to pretend that the knowledge that Sora actually had defeated his Darkness and still had chosen Light wasn’t shaking him up any longer.

Chapter Text

“How’d you get so good at making cookies, Yoshi?” Sora exclaimed while chewing on a checkerboard cookie. 

Yoshi shook his tail jovially and waved one of his arms around in a “well, you know” sort of manner while repeating his name.

Sora nodded seriously, “That makes sense. I’m glad the Grandmother Yoshi learned how to make these! I’m sure they were the best after playing outside when you were growing up!”

Yoshi nodded and then froze. 

“What is it?”

Yoshi gave Sora a cheeky grin before whispering “Yoshi….. Yoshi?”

Sora nodded enthusiastically and leaned in to hear more. 

“Yoshi. Yoooshi. Yosh.”

“Awesome!” Sora fistpumped. 

Yoshi threw a finger in front of his face in the classic “shh” motion.

Awkwardly scratching the back of his head, Sora quietly apologized before putting on a straight face as a group of friends approached. “Oh hey, guys!”

Fox, Falco, and Banjo (with Kazooie) were walking over to the grove Sora and Yoshi had been chatting. 

“What’s up, my man?” Fox raised his hand as a greeting. Falco also raised his hand while banjo just jostled his bag to Kazooie would wave as well. 

“Oh, you know, trying to do the homework Byleth left for me this week. There is a reason I chose to do adventuring instead of school work like Kairi.” Sora groaned against the book of the week, The Psychological Implications of National Symbols: Why the Golden Deer Matters . 

Fox grimaced as he looked at the cover, “You know, I think I could probably talk to Byleth about getting you books from multiple house residents. I know that that’s what she has from her syllabus on her world, but….”

Sora looked up at both Kazooie and Falco sticking their tongues out at the book title as well.

“It stinks. I could get you Gobi’s Memoirs if you wanted though.” Kazooie chimed in. “It may still be world specific, but I bet you’d enjoy hearing about how that dingus managed to get stuck in a pyramid… like 3 times.” 

Banjo chuckled before adding on, “I bet she just wants you to read about how she rescued him each time.”

“It has some of my best insults immortalized on paper. Bow before me.” The bird crowed. 

Falco nodded, “I could see about space fighter tactics, since I know you find that sort of thing interesting already.”

Sora looked at them with stars in his eyes, “Really? That would be amazing!”

“Yoshi!”

Trying very hard to not react to what Yoshi had just said, Sora grinned, “I should go ask Joker for some book ideas, I heard he’s a student in his world right now too!” Without waiting for a response, Sora got up and dashed away. 

Purposefully, he had left behind his notebook. And, while they were chatting, he chose to write down a few sentences told to him by Yoshi, verbatim. 

Did the washing machine mode wash out her mouth?

How is C—-Krystal doing?

I think they’re right, Slippy is better than Falco.

“WHAT?” Falco barked out. 

“How…”

Almost as if summoned, Sora strolled back into the clearing. “Oh hey, there’s my notebook! I was gonna bring it with me to write down the book titles but I just realized I forgot it. Thanks for getting it for me!” He held his hand out to grab it back.

Falco held it back while Fox replied, “How do you know about Krystal?”

Sora tilted his head to the side, Yoshi quietly singing behind him, “Oh, you know… I just did.” He gave his trademark grin as he threw his hands behind his head. 

“That’s not good enough, bozo.” Kazooie glared. 

Sora shrugged, “Sometimes I just know things. Maybe it’s the Keyblade, able to unlock the heart’s of others.” he looked around, “I don’t know.”

Falco, remembering his agreement with Sephiroth to let him know of anything… strange… about the boy in front of him, grimaced. “I don’t like this.” He shook his head and ran back to the house. 

Kazooie was still yelling insults while Banjo and Fox looked at each and walked away, mostly because they didn’t know what was going on and didn’t want to lose their hearing from their bird friend while they found out. 

As soon as they were out of earshot, Yoshi rolled to the ground laughing. Sora flopped down next to him and joined in. 

“I can’t believe they fell for that.”

“Yoshi!”

“But, I need to know, Yoshi…” Sora looked over that the dino friend, “Why was Kazooie so worked up about washing machines?”

Yoshi started giggling once more before taking a deep breath and starting to explain.

From a distance away, Samus and Cloud were looking over the two conspirators chatting. They had run over after seeing the other contestants running away so handedly, muttering about crazy magic powers. 

“Oh my materia.” Cloud groaned, “He can understand Yoshi.”

“No one can understand Yoshi!” Samus whined.

“You don’t understand.” Cloud stared at Samus seriously, “He travels with a magic bipedal dog and duck. The duck can do magic. And the duck casts transformation magic and language magic on the kid every new place they stop so they can fit in.”

“He has a universal language feature?!” Samus stared at the boy, wide eyed.

“Yep.”

“And he’s using it to troll others?”

“More of Yoshi is using it to finally dish out all of the gossip they’ve learned over the years.”

“Oh no.”

Cloud grinned. “However, I do know that Falco is going to tell Sephiroth about this right now.”

Samus matched Cloud’s grin, “He’s gonna flip.”

—

“HE CAN WHAT?”

Chapter Text

“Hey, Joker!”

The lanky, unassuming teen turned around at his code name, “Hmm? Oh, Sora. What’s up? How’re you adjusting to the house?”

Sora beamed, “Oh, it’s going great! Everyone is so nice and helpful! It’s really awesome!”

Joker smiled softly, “That’s fantastic. You let me know if anyone gives you any trouble, I’ll get on them, okay? If you need help in general actually.”

“About that….”

Joker’s ears perked up.

“So Cloud told me that you could help me with something.”

“Oh, did he?” His hands casually slipped into his pockets as he leaned against the wall, body strangely still for the casual stance he had taken.

“Yeah!” Sora cheered, “I was asking him about your friend, Arsene, and he told me you and Arsene helped him with his whole Zack thing.”

After a very subtle swallow, Joker continued as casually as possible, “Ah, that whole thing? Didn’t realize he had told you about that.”

“Yeah! I mean, after everything with Roxas and Xion and Namine and Kairi and Ven and maybe even Vanitas?”

Maybe? “Oh. I see.”

“Yeah! Riku once called me a clown car for souls!” he bit his lip, “I’m not quite sure what he meant by that, but it made Kairi laugh.”

Clown car…. For souls… oh please never let Ryuji meet him… or Elizabeth. “Okay, I think I know what Cloud wanted me to chat with you about.” Joker got comfortable, “Have you ever heard of the term Persona?”

Sora shook his head, “Have you ever heard of the term Nobody or Heartless?”

“Not as a title.”

“Well…”

—

Joker flopped down next to Cloud, “Jesus Christ.”

“Oh, did Sora talk to you about his Clown Car Soul?”

“I’m starting to think the Velvet Room is just in Sora’s heart.”

Cloud snorted, “I mean, apparently his heart did have operatic music playing the whole time too, according to Roxas and Ven.”

Joker turned over to Cloud slowly, “You’ve met his…. For lack of a better term… soulmates?”

“Yeah, befriended them over the years of dealing with his universe’s bullshit.” Cloud smirked at watching Joker’s calm facade break for a moment when concerned confusion took over.

“I gotta ask Igor and Arsene some questions now.”

“I mean, is it that weird? You have over 100 spirits in your head, even if you mainly just focus on one or two at a time. What is a Nobody but a Persona with extra staying power? And what is a Heartless but someone who lost their Persona?”

Joker mulled that over before responding, “And I guess people have had important individuals in their lives become Personas before… I heard that that happened with the head of the Nando Corporation.”

“Except the whole thing that Sora had never met Ven, he just decided to pick up an extra soul when he was a little kid.” Cloud countered.

“Please don’t remind me.” Joker groaned, sticking his head between his knees, “That boy has so many freaking souls in his heart. He has carried two people’s souls for them like some sort of Soul Hospice Care or Soul ICU, and then made Soul Babies? SOUL BABIES? And the one that is supposed to be JUST his doesn’t even look like him, it looks like one of his tenets and the others are a mix of him and other people and where the hell did Xion’s appearance even come from? And he kept being confused about Vanitas because it looked like him but was apparently Ven’s, that tenet I keep mentioning, but Ven’s opposite. But HIS opposite looked like Ven and what does that even MEAN about the two of them and…” Joker stared into the middle distance. 

Cloud blinked a few times before responding. “You know, I’ve always said that Sora’s bullshit is it’s own level of bullshit. At least he keeps a good outlook on it all.”

Joker sighed, “You’re right, he’s happy at least. I can imagine that the Persona Mental Workouts that Lavenza gave me would still find a way to be helpful. Though apparently he’s already physically fought his own… Nobody?... and won, so that’s a level of control over his own soul.”

Cloud nodded solemnly until he looked up and saw Sephiroth staring at them, mouth agog. His face twisted into a mocking grin as he watched Sephiroth slowly lose even more sanity. Good.

Joker’s eyebrow cocked, “Hmm? What’s so funny?”

Cloud waited a moment for his nemesis to stagger away before responding, “I think someone was listening in on us… and is even more terrified of Sora than they were before.”

Joker mouthed Sephiroth’s name and, when Cloud nodded in return, Joker wheezed while pushing his glasses up, hiding his mirth. “Incredible. Serves him right for eavesdropping.”

–

“What is it now?” Ganondorf sighed as Sephiroth knocked on his door. He had to hold himself in from rolling his eyes as he took in the wet puppy sad face that adorned his friend’s face.

“I just found out that Sora –”

Ganondort put a hand up, “Stop right there.” he gestured to his couch, “Sit there and let me get some wine.”

Once he sat down and took a wine glass, Ganondorf waved him on exhaustively.

“I just found out that Sora has multiple souls in his body to the point that he’s created entirely new beings on his own, like some freaking mitosis ordeal, and has even fought them in combat and won!”

Ganondorf mused at this, “Well, you know what they say, the strongest warrior is the one who can defeat himself.”

Sephiroth groaned into his hands once more.