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"That conniving, spiteful, hateful little bi-"
"Santana!"
"What?"
"She's seven."
It had all started with one Megan Bryce.
And in the beginning, it had seemed like a good idea, a way to get Beth involved in their community and get her making more friends her own age.
None of them could have prepared for the bloodbath that lay ahead.
A dark world, full of lies, manipulation, and betrayal, all tied up in a pretty bow-
Girl Scouts.
--
Neither Quinn nor Rachel had been a Girl Scout: Quinn because her father thought that the other girls in their local troop- who attended the local public school- would corrupt his innocent daughter, and Rachel because her dads were vehemently opposed to the fact that religion was so intertwined into the troops core beliefs.
Of course, everyone had had Girl Scouts cookies- who could resist the button-nosed, shiny-eyed, little girls in front of the grocery stores?- but honestly, the idea of Beth joining hadn't ever crossed her mind.
Well, it hadn’t- until one afternoon Beth came home from first grade, singing the praises of her fellow classmate, Megan Bryce, who had insisted that Beth absolutely, must join Girl Scouts with her.
Megan's mother was the troop leader and had sent Megan to school with a few permission slips to join the troop, one of which ended up with Beth
"Please Mama, please!"
Quinn eyed her daughter warily. "I'm not sure Bethy... it sounds like a big time commitment... and you're already doing gymnastics and singing lessons."
Beth clasped her hands together, pouting her lips. "I can handle it Mama, I swear."
Quinn sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Let me talk to your mother."
Beth cheered.
--
Rachel had easily relented.
She thought it would be a good idea, allow her to meet some other kids- Beth was painfully shy around people her own age, more comfortable with adults- and it would be fun, while "stimulating her brain by providing real-life scenarios that would equip her with the necessary skills for success in the future".
(Truthfully Quinn just thought that Rachel wished she had been able to do it as a kid.)
One thing led to another and well... her Daisies uniform did look awfully cute on her.
--
Beth was a natural when it came to Girl Scouts.
It seemed to really have brought her out of her shell- she was more confident, more open, and best of all, she had made new friends.
Quinn and Rachel proudly supported her throughout those first few months, attending parent meeting, driving her to and from events, buying her tools to plant gardens, and ironing badges onto her blue vest.
They allowed the glances of the other moms who gazed warily at their joined hands roll right off their backs, too proud of their daughter to even care.
Hell, Rachel even put a "Mother of a Girl Scout Daisy" sticker on the back of her Subaru.
They should've known then that nothing good comes that easily.
--
As the seasons changed, cookie season rolled around, the promise of young business entrepreneurship on the horizon.
And come hell or high water, Beth was going to be the top seller in her troop.
The girl who sold the most cookies would be awarded an invitation to an exclusive, all-expenses-paid, luxury camping trip with the other top sellers.
Beth was determined- and so were Quinn and Rachel, eager to see their little girl succeed.
Only one thing stood in their way.
Megan Bryce.
Megan was- as it turned out- not a nice girl, and her mother was even worse.
Linda Bryce; Proud stay-at-home-mom, PTA president, and leader of the local Girl Scouts Troop.
She had Girl Scouts practically in her DNA, and Quinn wouldn't have been surprised if she bled green as well.
Linda's grandparents had founded the first Girl Scout troop in Ohio- a fact the entire family was very proud of- and each generation of Bryce women had kept their last name as an acknowledgment of that honor, while they progressed through the levels of Girl Scouts, collecting every award and iron-on badge along the way.
Things were not going to be different for little Megan if Linda had her way.
While Megan had originally been a friend to Beth, Quinn saw the way she was just like her mother, even in first grade.
She was the type of girl who snickered at others, making fun of their clothes and their hair, pushing over other kids on the playground just for a chance to go on the slide first.
Quinn's disdain for the Bryces wasn't just because of their general unpleasantness- no, she saw the way her expression changed as Linda had calculated in her head how old Quinn was compared to Beth, the way her eyes narrowed ever so slightly at the matching wedding rings on her and Rachel's hands, the way she always 'forgot' to invite Beth over for troop sleepovers after she saw Beth's rainbow heart sleeping bag.
So it was more than just her attitude.
But still, Quinn had dealt with a lot of horrible people in her lifetime, people who were much more outright and bold with their homophobia, and she was a grown woman, comfortable in her sexuality, so really she wasn't bothered by one bigot.
What did really piss her off, though, was the night that Linda had called her on the phone after a troop meeting.
--
The conversation was short, to the point, and mainly one-sided.
The Bryces lived in the same neighborhood as Quinn, Rachel, and Beth, and Linda had informed Quinn ever so not-kindly, that the neighborhood was their territory for cookie selling and that Beth would need to find somewhere else to sell cookies, anywhere else was fine- as long as it wasn't the local Target, Walmart, or elementary school.
Quinn's vision had gone blurry with rage and before she'd had a chance to give Linda a piece of her mind, the woman had hung up with a faux-cheery 'Bye!'.
Quinn and Rachel had agreed that not telling Beth was the best choice- they'd figure it out on their own- but Megan had gotten to her first.
Beth came home crying from school, tossing her unicorn backpack onto the floor, and running to the couch, burying her face in the pillows.
Nothing they said or tried could coax her out of her sadness, as she tearfully recounted how Megan had told her that she was going to lose since she couldn't sell cookies anywhere.
Quinn and Rachel stared at each other, hearts breaking as they tried to comfort their baby girl.
Beth's tears refused to stop falling, and with a knowing glance at each other, Rachel pulled out her phone to call the only people who could always be counted on to cheer Beth up when she was said.
--
Within the hour, Brittany was in the living room with Beth, playing Barbies with her, and Quinn let out a relieved sigh at the laughs she could hear coming through the kitchen door.
It may have been sunshine and unicorns out in the living room, but in the kitchen the air was filled with rage as Santana paced across the room, curses flying out of her mouth as she ranted in Spanish.
Rachel stepped cautiously towards the brunette, holding out her hands in surrender. "Let's all just calm down here, we'll work this out, okay?"
Santana whipped towards the shorter girl, practically baring her teeth. "How can you possibly expect me to be calm. That hideous woman is hurting Beth and I will not tolerate it. I'll kill her myself."
Quinn spoke up, attempting to diffuse some of the anger with humor. "S, you can't kill someone for Beth. How would you be there for her if you were in jail?"
"Besides, Linda didn't technically say anything to Beth,"
Quinn shot a panicked look at Rachel, quickly drawing her hand in a slashing motion across her throat, signaling Rachel to stop talking.
Too late, Rachel realized what she was doing. "...It was Megan who told her all of it."
Santana paused, deadly still. Slowly, she turned, a vicious snarl on her face.
"That conniving, spiteful, hateful little bi-"
"Santana!"
"What?"
"She's seven."
"I don't care how old she is, she made Beth cry and for that, she should be, I don't know, kicked out of school or Girl Scouts or something."
Quinn dropped into a chair at the table, defeat washing over her. Rachel came up behind her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder. "There's nothing we can do about Megan, or about being banned from selling cookies in the neighborhood-"
"And at the Target, Walmart, or the elementary school..." Quinn added in a quiet tone.
Rachel furrowed her brow. "Not helping."
Rachel shook her head, continuing on. "But, that doesn't mean we can't still help Beth win this. She can sell cookies in other places, right?"
Quinn replied warily. "Yeah, but I don't know where else we could go."
Santana and Rachel looked at one another and Quinn was suddenly very scared. A Pezberry team-up never ended well for anyone.
Santana grinned, a deadly glint in her eyes. "This is war. And I'm going to win."
Quinn cleared her throat. "Beth. Beth's going to win."
"Right... Beth."
--
The plan was simple, really, and Quinn wondered how they hadn't thought of it before.
Beth sat in the kitchen, on a stool, holding Quinn's phone in her hand as Santana coached her through what to say.
Beth nodded, pressing a button on the screen of the phone and waiting as it rang.
"Hey Q, what do you need?"
"Hi Daddy!" Beth's voice was cheerful. "I'm selling Girl Scout cookies and I was wondering if you would want to buy some?"
Puck didn't hesitate. "Of course I will. What flavors do you have?"
Beth rattled off a long list, looking back to Santana for assurance before continuing onwards. "They're $4 a box. Also, I was wondering if when you go to clean people's pools if you could ask them if they're interested? I have a website where people can also order from so you can just give them that."
"I can't guarantee anything, but I promise I'll ask everyone at every house."
Beth clapped in excitement. "Oh, and ask Tiffany to do the same!"
To everyone's surprise, Puck had actually married Tiffany and the two lived about 45 minutes away, with Tiffany working at a small college.
"Will do, sugar."
Beth beamed, listening as Puck recited his order and carefully writing it down.
--
The next three phone calls were just as easy- the grandparents.
Beth had them all wrapped around her finger- Shelby, Judy, Hiram, and Leroy- would all do absolutely anything for their precious Bethy-boo, including order 10 boxes of cookies each, ending the calls with the same promise Puck had made- to spread the word and get their friends and coworkers to order some as well.
For the next several hours, Beth made call after call, as Brittany, Santana, Rachel, and Quinn tirelessly worked to jot down the orders and make sure they were also inputed on her website so that the cookies could be delivered to those who lived out of state.
They called every member of the New Directions, as well as Schuester, Sue, and even Figgins, with each promising to buy a few boxes each.
The real highlight of the evening, however, was Mercedes promising to tweet out the link to Beth's cookie-selling website to her several million followers.
Being the goddaughter of a celebrity had its perks at times.
--
Hours later- way past Beth's bedtime- the calls were finally done and Rachel quickly ran through the list of cookies they'd sold.
"So we have 5 boxes for your dad, 5 for Tiffany, 30 boxes for the grandparents, 2 for Tina, 2 for Mike, 6 for Sam, 4 each for Artie, Joe, Kurt, Blaine, and Kitty, 3 for Mr. Schue, 1 for Figgins, 3 for Sue, plus a handful of orders have already rolled in on your website, Beth. And we still have more Glee Club members in different time zones to call tomorrow."
Beth smiled, the drama from earlier completely forgotten in the excitement of cookie-selling bliss. "How many total boxes is that?"
Rachel added quickly in her head, but Brittany beat her to it. "82."
"That's a lot!"
Santana cracked her knuckles. "It sure is. But we can do better."
--
The next few weeks passed in a blur of a cookie-induced haze.
True to their words, all of Beth's family had reached out to coworkers, neighbors, even random people on the streets to get them to buy cookies from Beth. The orders continued to flood in on her website, to the point that it crashed on one particularly successful afternoon.
Brittany let Beth set up a table at the dance studio she owned, and Beth spent every afternoon selling to the parents and kids who came in for lessons. Santana also helped, by convincing (threatening) the partners at her law firm into purchasing some and by driving Beth around to surrounding towns and grocery stores.
She'd never admit it, especially not in front of Beth, but secretly Quinn enjoyed the way Linda's face grew more and more flustered as they had to continually request extra boxes of cookies to sell.
Linda was.. livid, but try as she might, she couldn't stop them as they had done nothing wrong. In response, she amped up her own cookie-selling campaign, even paying the local newspaper to put a picture of Megan on the front cover.
In truth, Quinn felt a little sad for Megan. The light behind her eyes was gone and it was clear this was more her mother's battle than her own.
While Beth had plenty of help and people selling for her, this was very much her own business venture, and she was involved in every step of the process, from talking to customers, to sending out packages of boxes and even managing the money aspect.
Quinn had never seen Beth so engaged in something before, it was like she had really come into her own over the last couple of weeks.
The final night of cookie sales, Beth, Quinn, and Rachel sat around the kitchen table eating dinner while laughing and joking about the events that had taken place.
Quinn and Rachel each bought one final box, sending in their finalized sale numbers on the website. The next day, the results would be released about who had sold the most cookies.
Quinn glanced over at their own absurdly large stack of cookie boxes, made even bigger by the two last minute purchases. "I have a feeling we're going to be eating Girl Scout cookies for a long, long time."
Rachel groaned- she'd had to temporarily give up her veganism to eat the cookies, though Quinn had a feeling she was actually enjoying it.
Beth, for her part, was quiet, staring down at her cookie booklet.
Rachel nudged her, taking a bite of her salad. "What's wrong baby?"
Beth sighed. "I'm just sad it's over. I don't even care about the vacation now... I liked selling cookies!"
The corners of Quinn's mouth nudged upwards. "It'll be okay Bethy, maybe one day you can start your own business! And until then," She looked at the cookie box pile again. "I think we have enough cookies that you'll be sick of them very soon."
--
By a whopping 3,087 boxes, Beth managed to beat Megan, with her 2,093 sold, bringing Beth's grand total of sold boxes to 5,180.
Beth ran out of the troop meeting, a giant smile on her face to where her moms- and Santana and Brittany- stood waiting for her.
"Great job Bethy, I knew you could do it!" Brittany plopped a kiss on the top of her blonde head, ruffling her curls.
"I'm proud of you, little crotch gremlin. Who knew you'd be such a good businesswoman!"
Quinn cut her a look. "Santana. How many times have I told you to stop calling her that?"
The Latina merely grinned, winking at Beth.
Together the four of them walked away from Linda's house, where meetings were hosted, ignoring the way she glowered at them out her front window. Beth grabbed Quinn and Rachel's hand, letting them swing her along as they headed towards the car, parked down the street.
"I think I want to quit Girl Scouts."
The group stopped in their tracks.
Rachel's mouth dropped. "What? After all that?"
Beth merely shrugged. "I'm bored of it now. Also, James from school told me he's taking archery lessons now! I wanna do that!"
Quinn audibly gulped, sharing a nervous look with Rachel, who had paled considerably. "Uh.. archery?"
Santana scoffed, crossing her arms over chest. "Archery's so boring. Do something more exciting! Like... cheerleading!"
Quinn shook her head. "No way in hell is my child doing cheerleading. That sport destroyed me."
Brittany bumped Quinn's shoulder with her own. "Oh come on Q, without cheerleading we wouldn't have the Unholy Trinity! And Beth probably wouldn't be here either."
Santana raised a brow. "She's right."
Beth jumped up and down. "I wanna do cheerleading! I wanna do it!"
Quinn sighed, pursing her lips. Rachel glanced at her, smiling softly and shrugging. "Alright, if you really want to, I guess we can try it out, Beth. But we need to find a good coach because there is absolutely no chance I'm letting Sue Sylvester get her hands on you."
Brittany perked up. "I could teach her. I was thinking about expanding and creating a cheer team at the dance studio anyways since Santana won't be able to work for a little while."
Every head whipped towards Santana, who just looked smug.
"Santana? What does that mean?" Quinn stared hard at her friend, but her face revealed nothing.
Santana smirked, placing a hand tenderly over her stomach.
"Surprise, Tia Quinn."