Work Text:
"Yamato?"
"Hm."
"Is something wrong?"
Yamato's eyes shifted from his unfocused stare, down towards Gabumon and his look of concern. Their walking pace didn't falter, and Yamato took a second to recollect himself before responding, "No Gabumon. I'm fine." Yamato answered just as quietly as Gabumon asked.
"…If you say so," Gabumon replied, he was unconvinced but he directed his attention back to the path they were walking on instead at the invisible scowl on Yamato's face.
Yamato mirrored the movement as well, though his gaze focused on Taichi's back. The inflamed brunet and Agumon were walking a few steps ahead of them. Both of them relatively quiet unless compared to Yamato and Gabumon. He noticed the immediate slump in Taichi's shoulders, the elbows pointing out as his hands were shoved in his pockets. He even noticed how Taichi didn't look at Agumon directly when replying to the dinosaur monster. All of these were signs that Taichi, much like Yamato, was in an off mood.
Still Yamato remained quiet.
Few months ago; not long after Yamato and Sora ended their relationship, Taichi came knocking on his door in the middle of the night. Within minutes Taichi uttered an apology and stood in the doorway as he spilled out one of the most shocking confessions Yamato ever heard. Taichi had liked Yamato, he liked him for a long time. While in the doorway of Yamato's dark apartment, Taichi stood there with shaky hands and a shakier voice, professing how he felt terrible for secretly wanting to be with Yamato instead of supporting his relationship with Sora. He rambled back and forth, apology after explanation, the brute honesty of context making Yamato freeze where he stood as he tried to process all the information.
That's when Yamato cut him off, inviting Taichi to stay so they can talk about this. For reasons still unknown for the blond, he wasn't the least bit appalled when Taichi uttered the words 'I like you'. In fact. He was…glad.
By the end of the night, it was safe to say they were a couple.
But since that night a few months ago, they haven't done anything more than sit next to each other.
It was hard. Taichi was Yamato's best friend! A friend that Yamato had no trouble risking his life for! And suddenly Taichi wasn't just that anymore. He was his...boyfriend. His lover. Someone who he could potentially exchange vows with instead of simple pink swears.
The sudden transition was daunting. Yamato's delicate sense of space was now compromised.
So far, they didn't do anything that was different from when they were just friends. So little has changed that when they tried to tell a few of the other digidestined they all responded with inquisitive stares and repeated the question "Are you sure you're not trying to pull a prank on us?"
Yamato didn't blame them. The two of them dating did seem unbelievable. The fact that they haven't treated each other differently, didn't help in the slightest.
Just this morning, they were heading toward the school computer lab for another routine visit to the digital world.
Everything was fine and normal, Taichi was complaining about the boring lecture in class. Yamato was responding with his usual quiet nods and small jabs at Taichi's weak points.
But then...
When they headed onto the floor where the computer was, Taichi had tried to hold Yamato's hand. Out of pure shock and complete reflex, Yamato punched Taichi right across the face. Taichi got upset, rubbing his sore cheek as he yelled out in a questions ranging from "What the hell?" to "It should be okay to hold hands!" Yamato got defensive, with static bursts that progressively got louder he refuted every single one of Taichi's claims, firm in his belief that it was not the time and place to do that and Taichi had no right to think otherwise.
Plain and simple, they had an argument. And the air was still hazy from the nucleated quarrel.
Fights weren't unusual. He could handle a fight with Taichi.
…But Taichi brought up a good point this time.
When Yamato was dating Sora, he didn't have an issue of showing some affection. He'd hold her hand, put his arm around her. And in private they even shared kisses.
Taichi, as he so quaintly summed it up, "You're comfortable with doing that stuff with Sora and not me! You said you didn't actually like Sora as anything more as a friend, but you wouldn't have me be anything else than more than a friend! So why can't I even hold your damn hand! What am I just supposed to be here Yamato?! Some fluke of yours! Or do you actually want to go out with me!"
Not only did Yamato feel bad about having such an aggressive reaction. But he felt confused too.
He didn't hate Sora—nor will he ever. But any time they spent together, Yamato felt pressured. He was acting out of social expectation; he did things because he was supposed too not cause he wanted to. When Sora told him she felt the same way, he felt instant relief and they went back to being friends.
But he felt nothing but freedom with Taichi. Even if Taichi pushed his buttons time to time, Yamato never said anything because he felt like he had too. There was no expectation, there was no check list to mark off during their time together. When he was around Taichi, everything he did was fluid and natural.
So why was he so timid being romantic with Taichi? He wanted to. As unbelievable as it may seem to the bushy haired brunet, Yamato really would like to do things like go on dates, hold hand, even a kiss or two! He'd sometimes play out different scenarios in his head (though he had no intention of telling Taichi that much). But when it boiled down to actually acting on those wishes, anxiety tensed in his stomach. The knot wound up so tightly that the ties it was made out of would tear under the strain. It wracked him to the core and all he wanted to do was run away instead of face it head on.
It was unfair. Really unfair.
"Oi! Yamato!" Taichi snapped his fingers. Yamato's blinks fluttered, but he pulled himself out of his thoughts. Instead of staring at the ground while his thoughts waved in and out of his head, he looked up at Taichi who was standing still with a slight frown, "Are you even listening?"
"…Sorry what?" Yamato cleared his throat causing Taichi to roll his eyes in irritation.
"The sun's setting," Taichi nodded off with his head. He stood partial to Yamato and the direction they were heading in, "We need to get this done before it gets too dark." Yamato saw the the sun, grazing the horizon and then nodded at Taichi, "See that lake?" Taichi pointed with his finger, directing Yamato's field of vision to the body of water a minute away, "We'll save time if we go separate ways. I'll go left and you head right." Taichi kept his hand spanning out the edge of the water that was closest to them, "Just to make sure we don't lose daylight, just take about…30 minutes time along your side. Then come back toward this spot of the lake, and we head back to the gate. Sound good?"
"…Yeah." It was a good plan. Yamato knew how skilled Taichi was at these things. But it still surprised him whenever he said something sensible instead of something childish.
"Good." Taichi put his hand back in his pocket, walking with Agumon following close to his heels, "See you here okay."
"Okay," Yamato was barely audible, walking in the other direction and Gabumon following behind him. He could be honest with himself. As bad as it may sound, Yamato was kind of glad to be away from Taichi at this moment. The tension between them made the rut in his mind dig into a deep trench.
"…Did you have a fight with Taichi?" Gabumon politely asked, looking up at Yamato and noticing the small hints of relief as they got further away from the other duo.
"No not really."
"Yamato I—"
"So," Yamato interrupted with a doyen smile. He wanted to change the subject instead of sinking further down the hole, "How are things in the digital world now?"
"…They are pretty dull come to think of it," Gabumon placed his paw on his chin. Getting the hint and going with the prompt, "But that's a good thing right? Means the digiworld is peaceful!"
Yamato smiled, and the two of them continued light conversation as they scoped out the area.
After 20 or so minutes Yamato and Gabumon were heading back to the designated meeting spot. Thankfully they found nothing alarming. In fact this lake side forest was one of the more tranquil areas of the digital world they've been to in recent memory. The friendship bearers walked in a comforting silence, the sun in the sky was half way gone now.
Gabumon wrinkled his snout as he spotted a digimon in the nearby distance, "Yamato," Gabumon tugged on Yamato's pant leg, looking at the digimon they were nearing.
"I see him too." Yamato nodded at Gabumon, understanding they should investigate.
Close to them was a Jijimon, sitting on a stool with an easel in front of him. His staff with a large yellow paw on it was placed next to him on the ground, as the Jijimon sat still in front of the lakeshore.
"Excuse me?" Gabumon called out, trotting faster than Yamato, "Jijimon?" Gabumon identified the vaccine digimon, "What are you doing here?"
"…Oh?" Jijimon slightly turned his head at the sound, "Wisemon? Is that you? You sound so different!"
"Ah no, sorry, I'm a Gabumon," Yamato caught up to his partner and the Jijimon sitting in the stool. Gabumon pointed at Yamato once he arrived, "This here is Ishida Yamato, though he's a human not a digimon."
"A human you say…" Jijimon didn't move his head though the hair around his face fluffed as he chuckled, "Well Gabumon. Ishida Yamato. I'm sorry but I can't really see the both of you," He turned toward the two of them, "It's not the hair either! My vision has just been failing me in my old age."
"Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that," Gabumon's ears lowered as did his voice.
"Don't mind us too much," Yamato chimed in, looking back at the blank canvas that was in front of the Jijimon. A small charcoal pencil was on the rest pad of the easel.
"What are you doing here?" Gabumon asked.
"Oh, well…" Jijimon's voice was aged like wine. Sliding through the syllables like red drops soaking into a soft piece of bread. The digimon rocked back on his stool, facing what would be the lake if he could see, "It's a strange habit of mine. When I was younger, I started painting. I come here near every day to paint what I saw. And even if my vision is gone, I still come here with the intention of drawing."
"You can paint even if you can't see?" Gabumon gasped, looking at Yamato who also was impressed.
Jijimon let out a hearty laugh, "Not exactly! My friend Wisemon comes with me, you understand? He accompanies me from the village where we live and he'll describe to me all the things of the lake. And from that I draw. I haven't picked up actual paint though. I can't see where my brush goes and I wind up getting it all over my beard!" He smoothed out the grey wiry bristles of his large mane.
"Oh," Gabumon looked back and forth, Yamato panning the landscape from his taller viewpoint, "Where is Wisemon then?"
"Oh, he had some business to attend to. He'll be joining me soon enough though." Even through the large mass of hair on Jijimon's face, it was apparent he was still smiling.
Gabumon and Yamato looked at each other, silently speaking to one another through their eyes. It was nearing night time. And what could be drawn at night? Wisemon would probably come and take him back to the village. And for whatever reason, it felt wrong to just leave the situation like that.
"Hey," Gabumon spoke to Jijimon again, "Seeing as Wisemon isn't here yet, how about I tell you what's in front of you?"
"Oh, that's kind of you!" Jijimon was shocked but elated, "Thank you."
"No worries," Gabumon chirped in his canine husky voice, "Now what do I need to do?"
"Nothing alarmingly difficult," Jijimon instructed, "Just tell me the scenery."
Gabumon turned toward the lake glancing around the nature spot before speaking, "Well there is the lake here for starters. There are some large trees that go along the edge of the water. And the grass here is green."
Jijimon nodded but didn't pick up his pencil, "I should rephrase myself. It's not as simple as stating what's around us. But...hm. Describe the surroundings. Paint a picture for this cooky old man! Take in each thing and describe it based on how it makes you feel."
"Oh." Gabumon looked back out, glad that Jijimon couldn't see his confused expression, "Well uh."
"Use an artistic eye. See the world from a different point of view."
Yamato was silent throughout this conversation. Almost droning out of it with his own heavy thunderclouds. Only peaking up at the last phrase from Jijimon.
He looked out at the quaint spot on the side of the lake. He gazed at all that was around him.
"It's like a snapshot." Yamato spoke out loud, making both Gabumon and Jijimon turn their heads toward him, "This would be the best spot to take a picture."
"Why's that?" Jijimon's interest was a mix of curiosity and amusement.
"…" Yamato paused, the heaviness from his fight with Taichi was tossed off to the side as he tried to think about the area around them, "The lake isn't large, but from this angle it stretches out catching the green from the grass around it. Reflecting it back with a deep blue color," Yamato continued, "It almost fools you into thinking it's a large ocean but it's really just a puddle of water."
"…Continue." Jijimon slowly picked up his pencil. Gabumon was listening as attentive as the old digimon.
"The trees aren't very tall, instead of going upward toward the sky, they grow in these curvy waves. Intermingling with one another more than just going up and straight like other trees. The grass here is also shorter. Just barely popping out of ground like they tried everything they could but they just couldn't make it. The rocks on the shore are jagged. Like it'd hurt to walk on them."
Yamato stopped. Despite the efforts of not focusing on his fight with Taichi, that was all he could think about. How loud Taichi's yells were. How he kept rubbing the soreness out of his cheek. How since their argument the twinge of pain never left Taichi's eyes.
He was starting to feel lousy again.
"But even with all those things. If you a picture from this very spot, it'd still look nice." Yamato finished abruptly. He looked at Gabumon who softly smiled at him then at Jijimon who stopped moving his pencil. The sun, now fallen below the horizon, a faint dark gleam of night breached the sky with faint glimmers of stars.
"Well now," Jijimon chuckled once more, "That is a rather dark point of view isn't it."
"…" Yamato pressed his lips unsure of how to address such a statement. He said what he saw, and he saw what he felt. It wasn't like it was his fault that he saw the world the way he did. That's just how he was.
Though there was a distinct feeling of déjà vu. Yamato had said similar things to Taichi earlier, provided it was more angrily, but the bitter taste in Yamato's mouth only got stronger just by remembering.
"Don't misunderstand, that's not exactly a bad thing," Jijimon's pencil hovered over the stretched canvas, "But if you wouldn't mind helping me with one more favor. Can you describe to me something pleasant? Something that doesn't make you cold, but instead makes you warm?"
Warm? So something pretty and nice.
Yamato scanned around the darkening landscape. His cascading eyes glancing over every prominent feature to no avail.
Until.
He saw Taichi and Agumon walking.
They were a few steps away from their meeting spot so it wasn't as if they were defined with high definition. Still, Yamato's eyes were sharp. And the closer the two of them were, the more Yamato could notice.
Engaged in conversation, Agumon threw his claws up in the air, his jaws moving in an expressive manner as he gabbed away and...
Taichi smiled at Agumon.
Suddenly it was a like a balloon busted from inside his stomach and a swarm of butterflies fluttered within his gut. His chest blew up to accommodate for the storm that raged within, the hiccups of breath getting stuck in his throat.
It was a simple smile. Taichi's lips broke even. Through a thin slit, provided from his relaxed smile, Taichi's handsomely aligned teeth were showing. It wasn't even that vivid from this distance, but that didn't matter. Yamato saw the corner of Taichi's eyes scrunching up as his lopsided grin quickened to be the most prominent sight here in this remote area.
Yamato's face flushed a little red when he saw Taichi throw his head back in a laugh. In his ears he pictured what he sounded like. Robust and animated. The kind of sound that could make opera sound unfulfilled as Taichi's natural joy wafted it's warmth. It was a common laugh at a funny story his digimon was telling. But the sound Yamato played in his head made his heart race.
"Yamato?" Gabumon tugged Yamato's pant leg.
Yamato looked away and back at the water in the lake. Had he been one step closer, he probably would have seen a face in it.
"…The sun," His mouth spoke before his mind, "The sun is here."
Gabumon was about to protest. After all, night time was here! There was no sun in the sky. But one glance at Yamato's uncanny emotion in his eyes and he felt like letting Yamato finish.
"Oh, well that's warm indeed," Jijimon said, clueless to what the sky was like.
"It's not the warmth you'd think it is," Yamato hand's clenched, "At first it feels like it's too hot. You get singed from the heat and it makes you want to move away from it. But then…you get this energy. You feel like you're capable of anything. Even if you're a coward, you feel brave. Like so long as you have this warmth of the sun's rays on you, there is absolutely nothing that can stop you."
"…And. The sun doesn't really ask for anything in return. Not really at least," Yamato looked up to where the sun previously was, "No matter what. Even if you curse it and run away from the sunlight, it still will be there. It offers its energy for you if you ever needed it. Not even caring if you never notice it."
"It's warm because it doesn't ever judge you. Even if you're a small puddle, a twisted tree, or a jagged rock, the sun still shines down with the same warmth," Yamato uttered the last part to himself, "It's warmth I'd be lost without."
The pause that blanketed the three of them was only parried with the sound of Jijimon's pencil scratching the canvas. Gabumon wasn't sure of the context, but Yamato's gentle brow and soft eyes calmed him. He could wait to ask Yamato about it.
Yamato flexed his hand. He regretted pushing Taichi away earlier.
"So you love the sun the most," Jijimon easily mentioned. If Yamato had been drinking water, he'd spit it out. Sputtering and blushing red he felt the need to refute it to the maximum.
But he glanced at Taichi once more.
His heart warmed up and with shaky hands and an even shakier voice he responded. "Yeah. I do…love the sun."
Jijimon drew a circle in one edge of the canvas, his loose grip on the pencil causing the sketch marks to flow easily from one stroke to the next. Gabumon turned around to see the canvas, but saw Taichi and Agumon already at their meeting destination and perked up, "Uh Jijimon, I'm sorry but we have to get going now."
"Oh yes, you two were probably busy," Jijimon's laugh didn't alter his pencil movements, "Go ahead and go. Someone from the village will come for me, "Just remember." Jijimon called out to Yamato as Gabumon started to lead them back toward the meeting spot, "Seeing things from a new view can help put things into perspective!"
Yamato smiled. A real smile that he couldn't prevent even if he tried, "Thank you." Yamato expressed quietly, turning back around with his head held high as he followed Gabumon back to where Taichi and Agumon were waiting for them.
Taichi and Yamato had started the venture home. Now back in the human world, they were in the same train car as they rode the line back toward the station closest to their homes. Despite Yamato's easier mood, Taichi's tension didn't melt away and the silence between the two of them settled like damp rocks.
Yamato took a brave chance to sneak a peek at Taichi. He was leaning back against the seat cushion, his head thrown back over the edge as his hands were loosely in his lap. He could see the details that made Taichi...Taichi. His eyes were a round almond shape, his face youthful despite the high cheekbones. Casualness reaped from him due to his easy going clothes.
Ordinary to others.
Perfect for Yamato.
Sliding over a little closer, Yamato took Taichi's hand. Gently grabbing it before nudging his cool fingers between Taichi. Yamato couldn't help but flush a little at how warm Taichi's hands were.
The sudden touch surprised Taichi. His relaxed posture straightened instantly, staring down at their hands with point-blank confusion. He sat up and looked at Yamato with a glance that read 'what the hell'. Yamato ignored it and continued lacing his fingers through Taichi's large digits until he successively woven them to a hand holding position.
"Oh now you want to hold hands," Bitterness seeped from Taichi's mouth, "Just earlier you were ripping me apart for doing this. You yelled at me saying didn't want to touch me ever again. And now all of a sudden, it's all fine and dandy?"
Yamato didn't blame Taichi for his tone. He did say some awful things, "I had change in point of view."
"Huh?" Taichi snapped, "And what does that mean?"
"It means, I started looking at it from an artistic point of view." Yamato smiled innocently. Knowing that Taichi still wouldn't understand and that was just fine with him.
"You're not making any sense! A few hours ago holding hands is treason and now you're—"
"Do you not want to hold my hand anymore?"
"What I, argh! I didn't say that!" Taichi barked like a dog with bent ears. It was obvious he was trying to stay mad but he couldn't keep his game face on while he was holding the hand he'd been wishing for. He gripped Yamato's hand tighter, falling back into the seat. His round eyes puffed out as his lips pouted in a frown. Being as honest as he ever, Taichi couldn't really hide what he was feeling. Obviously he was still upset by this morning. However he also was also happy that this was currently happy. The clash between the two feelings would of course make him pout, "We can hold hands," Taichi murmured trying to hide how easily excited he was from such a simple sign of affection.
Yamato smiled at Taichi's vivid expressions, "Sorry about earlier," He relaxed into a slack posture, his hand tightly holding Taichi as he looked outside the subway's windows, watching the lights zoom past.
"I'm sorry too," Taichi's apologized, he felt glad that they still had time left and a vacant car.
The heat was nothing like a burn from the sun. Taichi's hand slowly enveloped Yamato's fingers away from the cold surroundings. Comforting him with the embers of courage Taichi just so naturally exuded.
Yamato bit back a smile as he came to a realization. This was their first time holding hands as lovers. But this wasn't the first time Yamato held Taichi's hand. Back during the fight against VenomVamdemon at he TV tower, they held hands when getting the power to digivolve to the next level.
When he first felt Taichi's hand he felt nothing but comforted and empowered. He probably wouldn't have been able to take a shot from Angemon if he held anyone hand's but Taichi's.
Just because they are no longer friends and are now together; doesn't change the fact that Taichi is Taichi. And Yamato wouldn't be who he was without him.
"Heh." Yamato smiled to himself, squeezing Taichi's hand, "Thanks Jijimon."
"Hm? You say something?"
"No not really."
Their steps were little, but they'd take them together.
There was no better comfort than that.