Chapter Text
Sun was beaming through the dirty windows of the Garrison. It was past lunch and Arthur was alone like most of the time, but now it felt even more discomforting than ever. The Garrison was usually full of life and laughter, but right now, everybody was at home with their families. Just Arthur had no other place to be.
Harry had left, because his daughter became sick and Arthur kept wondering, if he would ever know the joy of fatherhood. Probably not, he sighed and leaned of the bar, almost lifeless. He was tired of being alone. Neither could he do well on his own. Everything was just too quiet for him. The silence was disturbing and unsettling. Arthur never liked this kind of peace. It felt just wrong and things only got worse after the war.
His fingertips beat a drum on the wood and his eyes watched closely. There was nothing else to do. Everything was already clean and ready for customers and since his last mental breakdown Tommy tried to keep Arthur away from the business for a while. But sadly, his brother didn’t know how awful Arthur felt about this. Now the guilt was eating him alive and the boredom made him jiggery.
It was an unpleasant state of being. He would do anything and everything to see a human’s face, even the one of a stranger. Just somebody, anybody. Maybe even having a little chat about the weather. At this point his life seemed so dull and monotone, he thought about ending it once again.
Why did he even get extra time in France, when he had nobody to spend it with?
Where was the point in all that?
Or was he being punished for some sort of thing he did in the past?
Was his life meant to be a streak of horrible events with the tickling fear of ending it any minute?
Why were all those people around him so happy and he was not?
Was there something wrong with him?
Maybe he deserved it. Maybe he deserved being unhappy, he thought. Maybe he was just such a terrible person, that nobody ever liked him and never sticked around. Maybe that was his problem.
He was his problem.
Like he always was. His dad, his mom, Tommy, Polly and sometimes even Ada used to tell him to not mess around, because if he got involved shit went down.
Maybe he should stay away from people.
But he didn’t stand himself either and hated being alone.
Maybe life wasn’t for him.
And maybe… he should just quit.
But those were too many maybes for him. He couldn’t even think straight and Tommy told him to use a gun next time, so he wouldn’t fail to attempt suicide again. His brother didn’t even seem to realize how cruel those words were and how deeply they hurt him. Arthur felt like he wasn’t good for anything at all… even too stupid to kill himself.
Every time he was alone, the thoughts were hitting him like a train. It was like nothing could stop his madness and he couldn’t escape it, no matter how hard he tried.
Just like that, he was ripped away from his torture and the train finally stopped, when the door opened.
“Goodbye”, said an unfamiliar voice. It wasn’t the usually way to start a conversation, but then Arthur looked up and noticed, why. The girl, who had entered, was turned around and was talking to somebody else.
All the excitement in him vanished again. His shoulders sank back down and he looked like a beaten dog all over again. Probably, she just got the wrong door. God forbit, a girl came around this part of town in a nice dress and everything. Everything about her seemed so off, she had to be lost. From her shoes to her hair every screamed innocence and it was in an intense contrast to the rest of Small Heath. She was like a little white dot on a black wall.
“Miss, I guess you are wrong her’”, he grumbled sadly, almost disappointed, even though he wasn’t expecting anyone.
Her eyes widened and gleamed surprised. She tilted her head and asked: “Oh! So… this is not the Garrison?”
Arthur blinked confused. Now both of them were lost in translation, but Arthur was right about one thing… she wasn’t from here. There was an accent in her voice, which seemed unfamiliar too him. Where could she possible be from?
After a while, he noticed, he didn’t answer her question, even though he had the information she needed. He cleared his throat and explain: “Yes, it is. This is me pub, but we’re not serving drinks here yet. You are too early and without any man by your side…”
“I’m not here to get a drink”, she tossed in and smile slightly: “I just need to make a phone call and well… I asked my neighbor and she said the only phone around was here, so I thought I might give it a try.
“Then it has to be important, eh?”
She nodded and the smile on her lips got bigger. “My mother is constantly worried about me. I have to assure her, everything is alright. They kept her at the border check, because her English is not very good.”
“So… you came all the way to Birmingham with big dream?”, Arthur asked, while he was walking over to her. A smile was lurking beneath his moustache. “Do you want to find work here?”
The girl shook her head and laughed a little. “No, I have a work… but I want to find my father. He was supposed to be in Birmingham. That’s what he told my mother during the war. He was a soldier and I hope he is still alive.”
All the sudden Arthur was beneath curious about her. Not only, because he used to be a soldier, but also because he wasn’t quite virtuous during those years. “Um, what is his name?”, he mumbled, trying to sound calm, which he wasn’t, but at least he could hide it very well.
“Keith Haroldson”, she answered and sighed. It wasn’t easy to find a soldier after the war. People have changes so much during this dark and tiring times and some of them vanished without any further information.
What a sweet relief it was for Arthur. At least he wasn’t the father or a father, not that he knew of. Well, of course, it was Arthur’s dream to be a father someday, but he had to find the right woman first. It seemed very unlikely now, due to his increasing age. He was too old and too broken for those pretty girls with big smiles, just like her. So, Arthur just did what was right for him and said: “I will ask around, if somebody knows him. Maybe one of those lumps does know where you could find him or tell you at least where he is buried.”
“And the phone?”
Arthur nodded. “Yes, alright… the phone is in the back. I will show you” He started walking and glared over his shoulder, if she was following him. Then he opened the back office and cleaned the desk for her to sit. “There you go”, Arthur grunted shyly and avoided eye contact with her. She was far too beautiful for him and he was… well him. Not good enough for a pure and innocent flower like her.
Everything about her was warm and kind. She was like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day and just like that she made all those bad thought he had leave. Arthur didn’t know it yet, but it was love at first sight. He would only figure that out hours later.