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She wakes up in the middle of the night on the bed she’s slept in for years, and it feels so wrong.
Of course it does.
It’s not even been a full two months, and yet, for her, it’s been over a year. A year of searching, desperately, for answers, in a body so different from this one. A year of holding more weight than these shoulders can carry on her shoulders, and here, finally at home… it hurts.
It feels Wrong.
Kagura hurries her face in her fuzzy pillow and remembers that for a year, her friends were right next door. Now the nearest is many blocks away.
And yes, of course. She knows she can go to her parents, but it’s just not the same ! Even now, she’s 12 again, a 6th grader, but she’s…
(She’s 20 or older, a ToQger.
…Except half of that was never true.
But then, Neither of those ages are, really. They should be 13, Hikari has pointed out.)
She pulls herself out of bed, grabs a coat and her shoes, and heads downstairs.
And, with only a few stops for a couple supplies, she heads out the door.
It’s not every night, and it’s still early enough in the year that it gets fairly cold, but it often results that meeting at the tree means not being alone. So they all go, several times a week. A connection point, because it feels too on the nose to visit the train station.
Tonight, the only one there is Kagura, for now. So she sits and waits until she starts falling asleep against the trunk.
“You should bring a sleeping bag.”
She looks up, lifts the flashlight that she did bring. She didn’t bring nothing . But she’s 12-13-20somethingonce so she figures she should be allowed a break.
“Hikari,” she says. He is, in fact, carrying a sleeping bag. It’s half his current height and green with a soft pink inside. “I forgot. Only you and Mio remember.”
He nods at that. She waves him over and offers him the snacks she brought. He grabs a cookie and unrolls the sleeping bag. They both sit on top of it.
Hikari doesn’t usually like to talk, when they come here, so Kagura just cuddles into his side. He lets her, subconsciously running his fingers through her hair.
“If you need to sleep, go ahead,” he says. “I’ll keep watch.”
“I’m good,” Kagura replies. “I just like being with you.”
“Okay,” he says.
She can imagine his face, serious even as he eats the cookie, but it’s just how he is, she knows. She knows he came here too because he couldn’t sleep, or because he had a nightmare.
She knows that he, too, is 12-13-20somethingonce and climbed the steps without a flashlight but carrying a full sleeping bag. Would let her talk if she wished but never knows how to word it for himself.
“You can sleep too, if you want,” she says.
Silence.
“…that would be nice,” Hikari says, after a moment, and they shift so it’s now Hikari’s head in her lap with the sleeping bag over his whole body and Kagura’s legs.
He sleeps the night, and Kagura is okay with not.
It’s never been just the two of them before, here. But she likes it.
The sun rises, waking Kagura from a hazy half-sleep. She realizes that she and Hikari are cuddling close and her face heats up like it doesn’t usually in this situation. She sits up quickly, and knocks the blanket off them both. Hikari sits up just as quick at her movement.
“Time to go home,” he says, then he looks at her. “…Is something wrong?”
Kagura blinks, considers…
“…no, actually,” she says. “I had a good night. See you at school in an hour?”
Hikari nods.
“See you soon,” he replies.
12-13-20something.
Truly, such a strange age to be.