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“Sir please don’t close your eyes.”
Nothing.
He could see nothing. Just play the same scene over and over. Someone desperately turning their car to avoid colliding with a truck that was accelerating on the sidewalk and heading his way at an alarming rate. He was pushed to the barriers on the edge of the bridge and then nothing.
“Get the stretcher”
“Can you hear me? I need you to stay awake.”
____
“Hyejin how are you feeling?”
“What happened dad?”
“You got into a car crash. We are in the trauma unit.”
Slowly she could see bits and pieces of said crash flash across her mind. Losing control of the wheel was fast. It was all so fast. She remembered panicking and then a truck..
“Oh my god! A truck was coming my way.. I tried to—”
“Hyejin calm down, it’s okay, don’t sit up you’re hurt.”
“What!?”
____
No. No way. It just wasn’t possible! How could this have happened? Jeongu? The man who was his brother in all but name? How could he do it? Did he expect him to deal with the aftermath of his impulse? His family would—
His family..
Dusik couldn’t bring himself to think of them.
____
“May I come in Mr. Hong?”
“Go ahead..”
“Hey um.. I’m Yoon Hyejin, are you okay?”
“Why are you here?”
“I thought we were in the same accident so I—”
“He’s dead.”
“Sorry?”
“Jeongu. He died saving me..”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry for your loss”
“He shouldn’t have. He pushed me. Out of harm’s way but it’s of no use. I’m nobody but he had a family, a son who needs him.”
He was grieving. She knew it. He had probably already gone through denial and anger. Now blaming himself for it, he too needed someone. And she was good with people but how could she comfort him if he didn’t even turn to face her the entire time?
“I’m sure he thought of you as worth it if he sacrificed himself.”
“Worth what?” he scoffed.
“Worth living. He gave you the chance to a new life. Don’t think like that, don’t waste it. He wouldn’t want that!”
“He wouldn’t want a widowed wife or an orphaned child either.”
“Precisely so don’t hurt yourself when they’re enough who already have been. Be there for them. I don’t know who you or they are but I can tell you that it will only cause more pain if you keep thinking badly about what your friend decided to do. It must have been a spontaneous effort. An instinct. He wanted you to live at the expense of his life. I really hope you and the family have the strength to cope. My sincere condolences.”
“Thank you.” He stated monotonously.
Hyejin had never really seen any deaths since her mother passed away and she was too young back then to understand the meaning. To fully grasp what it meant for her. It was plain and simple. She did know what this man was going through but she couldn’t really feel it.
“I’m really sorry.” was all that came to mind as she exited the private ward leaving the man twisted in a train of thoughts who knew ended where.
_____
“What did you do then?”
“I left Seoul. Came back to Gongjin. There was no point in trying to persuade myself to stay. Seonah didn’t want me to stay there.”
“She holds you responsible for Jeongu’s death?”
“Hmm, that really hurt me. I guess I reminded her of Jeongu too much. I couldn’t even meet their son. He was the first baby I had ever held you know.”
“Did Geomcheol’s baby remind you of him? You did seem on edge the whole time, tense.”
“Maybe.. perhaps.. Hyejin I’m trying, very hard, I want to be open to you but this is really hard.”
“You’re doing great, honestly! I told you I’d give you time and I am.”
Dushik nodded dully and dropped his head low in front of him. Hyejin couldn’t resist anymore, she knew the name sounded vaguely familiar and now knowing
the cause of the death she was even more intrigued to ask. Before she knew it—
“Chief Ho- Uhm.. Dushik, can I ask you something? Was there anyone else involved in the crash? Apart from you and the truck.”
“Hmm. A woman nearly got crushed but she dodged her car out of the way.”
“And she came to see you in the hospital, but you didn’t look at her?”
“Yes” He looked up with doubt and confusion written on his face
“You’re looking at that woman right now.”
His eyes widened with realization as reality struck him. It couldn’t have been.
“It was me Dushik. I was there when it happened.”
He sat there like a statue and Hyejin experienced instant déjà vu. He had the same look on his face from when they drank on the night of the singing concert. The look she knew well. He wanted to cry.
"It must've been so hard for you, you must've hidden the pain deep down. You've been holding onto such a burden."
She moved towards him from where they were both sitting cross-legged facing each other and without thinking twice, hugged him. She was going to be the stone Hwajeong had asked her to be. She was going to be his safe haven.
The moment her arms touched his back he couldn’t help but drop his neck on her shoulders wrap his arms around her and let his tears slide. They had waited long enough and he couldn’t, wouldn’t stop them anymore.
"I'm sorry Hyejin. I'm so sorry."
As their hug got tighter, they both realized the actual purpose of being together, of being one.
It isn’t always about being around or about spending the most time together,
It was about knowing each other, understanding each other, knowing their strengths and weaknesses and still caring for each other.
Even if it took one more time than the other.
They were going to make the other one happy. No.
They were going to be happy with the other one for a long time!