Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

No one could have seen this coming.

It was a two-hour drive to Pyeongchang, and the weather had been calm when they left Seoul. There had been nothing alarming in the news even with the snowfall warning. It was January, the peak of winter — of course there’d be snowfall.

Jungkook was behind the wheel for the drive ‘to repay Jin-hyung for taking me to school way back when,’ so Seokjin contented himself by chattering non-stop in the passenger seat. The other members, who were separated into two other cars, randomly started short conversations via walkie talkie. It was all garbled nonsense.

They were headed to an isolated cabin resort in the forest to film the third season of In The Soop. Since the first two seasons showed them enjoying spring in a lake house and summer in a mansion, they figured winter in a cabin would be a wonderful idea.

When they hit Gangwon, it started to snow. They didn’t pay attention to it at first, caught up in a deep conversation about a British show they’ve been into lately that was called Doctor Who. It had been snowing a lot, anyway; Seokjin was sick of it. He disliked winter.

But by the time they reached Pyeongchang, it was evident that they were in the middle of a snow storm.

“...kook-ah? Jungkook-ah?” That was Namjoon through the walkie talkie.

Brows furrowed, Jungkook pulled over the side of the empty road and picked up the handheld radio. “Hyung?”

“Where are you?”

The question had both Jungkook and Seokjin glancing up at the rearview mirror to find… nothing. There wasn’t a single car behind them, when there should have been four. Two for the other members, and two for the managers and staff.

Apprehension washed over Seokjin.

“We’re on the way to the cabin,” Jungkook said slowly. “Where are you?”

“Didn’t you hear us say to meet at the stopover? We think the storm might get bad, so we’re meeting up to decide if it’s safe to venture further out.”

“But — but we already did,” Jungkook said, sounding worried. He was right to be. There were barely any traces of civilization around them, only trees and slopes of mountains. The late afternoon sky was pale and gray. Snow was building on the ground. There were no signs of life anywhere. “We didn’t hear you.”

Namjoon was silent for a long moment. Then he said, “Sit tight,” before cutting off the line.

Seokjin tapped his foot against the vehicle’s carpet as they waited. He was starting to get nervous, mentally mapping out the roads they had passed. He should have paid more attention. “Did we mess up?”

“I was just following Waze,” Jungkook said. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, glancing down at his phone mounted by the heater. “I wasn’t really thinking about it.”

Getting impatient, Seokjin dug up his own phone from his denim jacket’s pocket. He flipped it open, then closed it almost immediately. “No signal.”

No wonder Namjoon was speaking to them via radio.

On cue, the walkie talkie made a noise before Namjoon’s voice blared through. “Jungkook-ah, put Jin-hyung on.”

Seokjin grabbed the gadget without another thought. “Namjoon-ah, if the stopover you’re talking about is the one I'm remembering, then it would take us longer to get there than to get to the cabin. That’s the one with the convenience store and diners, right? Isn’t the road leading there a one-way? We have no signal, we might get lost finding our way around.”

Namjoon sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that. Alright, get to the cabin, then. You have copies of the keys, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Start driving now before this gets worse. We’ll try to follow.”

Seokjin’s chest loosened. Everything was going to be fine, they all just needed to get to their destination. Once there, they could figure the rest of it out. “Alright. We’ll see you there.”

“Take care.”

Jungkook was back on the road before Seokjin’s conversation with Namjoon ended. The snow was falling heavily now, swirling outside their windows, signaling strong winds. “We need to get there fast,” he said, sounding worried.

“Drive carefully,” Seokjin warned. This kind of weather was tricky. Dangerous.

“Yes, yeobo.”

Seokjin flushed. The pet name was a familiar one, even though he couldn’t pinpoint when it started. Yeobo. Darling. It was harmless, really, given the closeness of their friendship; it was just a stupid nickname, one of many stupid nicknames. But it’s been catching Seokjin at the strangest times lately, and he couldn’t help but feel flustered.

The rest of the drive was tense, with the two of them keeping their gazes focused on the road. It was a relief when the resort finally entered their line of sight. They approached the gates, which were opened for them without question. Their management had been dealing with the logistics of this for the past month, so it should go smoothly for them. All the members really needed to do was get there.

Jungkook rolled down the window, letting in a furious blast of cold wind. Seokin shivered violently, hugging himself.

A security guard decked in a fur coat approached and handed them some documents. “Here’s a map to your villa,” he called out, raising his voice to be heard over the howling outside. “Please hurry inside, it will no longer be safe out here in a few minutes.”

Dread latching onto him, Seokjin could only say, “Thank you very much. Please take care of yourself as well.” He looked at Jungkook anxiously. “Jungkook-ah, let’s go.”

Not wasting another second, Jungkook stepped on the gas pedal, closing the window as he went.

The resort was a sprawling mountainous area with patches of forests in between wooden cabins. Most likely, their management rented the whole property for their security. It took Seokjin and Jungkook a few minutes to reach the cabin assigned to Bangtan Sonyeondan, and they sighed in relief when they were able to safely park in the driveway.

No doubt, it was a beautiful place. The cabin was quaint with a homey facade, and it had a spacious front yard with a low wooden fence that separated it from the road and the wilderness beyond it.

It really looked like an isolated house in the middle of the woods. And with the snow stretching out on the ground in every direction and decorating the tops of the trees, Seokjin felt like they were in a winter wonderland.

But there was no time to admire it now. What they were dealing with was clearly a blizzard, and they needed to get their stuff inside before they got buried in snow.

“I’ll run in and unlock the cabin,” Seokjin said, undoing his seatbelt. He reached for the camera that had been mounted on the dashboard, filming their drive. “I’ll take this.”

Jungkook killed the engine and tugged out the key from the ignition. “I’ll get our suitcases.”

“I'll get our backpacks. Don’t forget your phone.”

“Yeah.”

Seokjin opened the car door to brave the snow storm. The icy cold slapped Seokjin in the face, and he froze for a second before opening the door at the back and slinging their backpacks on each shoulder. Then he trudged through the snow to get to the front door.

There was a moment where, in his panic, he thought he’d somehow lost the keys, but they were just in the front pocket of his bag, exactly where he’d hidden them. With a relieved sigh, he fumbled with the door before opening it.

It was dark and cold inside, much to Seokjin’s distress. He hurried in, setting down their bags and patting around for the light switch. The overhead lamp flicked open, bathing the spacious yet cozy living room with light. The heater controls weren’t hard to find, so Seokjin fiddled with that next.

The door opened again to let in a stumbling Jungkook, carrying a suitcase. He set it down then hurried off again, saying, “I’ll get yours!”

Seokjin went over to pull the luggage further in, peeking out the door worriedly. A layer of snow was covering their vehicle now, and visibility was low. Still, he could spot Jungkook hefting a large suitcase in his arms, feet sinking into inches of snow as he struggled to make his way back to the house.

Despite the fact that he was shivering, Seokjin held the door open for Jungkook, not relaxing until they were both inside and the door was firmly closed and locked.

“Holy crap,” Jungkook said breathlessly. His long dark hair had become disordered, and the black leather jacket he was wearing didn’t look like it had effectively shielded him from the cold. “It’s really bad out there.”

“You alright?” Seokjin asked, teeth chattering.

“I’m fine,” Jungkook assured him. He inspected Seokjin’s face. “Let’s get you warm. Look, there’s a fireplace over there, hyung.”

And so there was. The materials they needed to light it were perched on the side, so they didn’t have trouble getting some flames roaring. Jungkook stalked off to push open the curtains, declaring that the light outside was fading. Seokjin sat on the carpet in front of the fire, trying to warm himself up, but all he could feel was the chill. He checked his phone — still no signal. He tried to use the walkie talkie — no one responded.

The situation was clear: the two of them were stuck far away from the rest of the world and their members. And Seokjin didn’t know how long it would last.

Anxiety grabbed him by the throat, making it difficult to breathe. Where were the others? Were they on the road, in the middle of a blizzard? Were they alright? Did they decide against resuming the drive after all? For their sake, Seokjin hoped so. But where would they stay?

The cold was seeping into his bones. Seokjin really hated the cold.

And then strong arms locked themselves around Seokjin from behind. “Jin. I need you to breathe.”

Seokjin’s chest was burning. His vision was blurry.

“Breathe with me. In… out…”

It was almost impossible to follow the instructions at first, but Jungkook’s voice was persistent. Seokjin tried to breathe in time with him, and after a few failed attempts, he managed it.

Eventually, the anxiety faded into more tolerable levels. He could hear himself gasping, trying to catch his breath, as if he’d run a mile.

A hand was rubbing his back. Fingers were wiping off the wetness on his cheeks.

When Seokjin was breathing more steadily, a heavy layer of cloth landed on his shoulders. A jacket? Jungkook squeezed his biceps and said, “Stay here. Be right back.”

Drained from the unexpected episode, Seokjin stayed. He stared idly at the flames, brain murky.

It had been a while since his last panic attack.

There was a thump behind him, then receding footsteps. Seconds later, the footsteps returned. More thumps.

An arm wound around Seokjin’s back, while another went under his knees. Next thing he knew, he was being lifted into the air, and then dumped on a soft surface.

“Oof.” The impact shook Seokjin out of his anxious state and he stared up at Jungkook in shock. Did Jungkook seriously drag out a mattress? With bedsheets still attached to it and all.

Jungkook was holding up a comforter. “Take off the jackets, they’re a bit damp.”

Blinking, Seokjin mindlessly obeyed, dumping the pieces of clothing on the floor. He kicked off his sneakers while he was at it.

Before the cold could catch him again, the heavy blanket was lowered on him. The mattress moved as Jungkook pushed it closer to the fireplace.

With the promise of warmth, Seokjin made himself comfortable. Jungkook had gotten pillows too — Seokjin pulled one close, tucking it under his head.

Finally, he exhaled and let his eyes slip shut. Trying to come to terms with their situation, trying not to be too worried.

A weight settled right beside Seokjin. Fingers returned to his face to thumb away stray tears, then reached up and smoothed down his hair.

“Been a while since you had one of those.” Jungkook sounded concerned.

Seokjin just nodded tiredly.

“You okay now?” Jungkook prodded.

“Mm.” Seokjin licked his lips and croaked out, “Sing for me?”

Jungkook didn’t hesitate and started singing: “Take a little time, baby, see the butterflies’ colors…”

Seokjin didn’t know the song, but the melody was soothing, and it was being sung by a voice that normally followed Seokjin into his dreams. It was the biggest comfort right now.

Exhaustion tugged at Seokjin, weighing down his limbs. He was crashing. A part of his brain told him it was safe to let himself be vulnerable.

He let himself drift as peace slowly settled in him.

A touch trailed down his cheek gently.

“You’ll take each trial and you’ll make it through the storm 'cause you’re strong; my faith in you is clear…”

Seokjin slept.

—

He woke up cozy, bundled up in thick blankets with a heavy arm over his chest. Soft daylight tickled his eyes open, and Seokjin squinted, trying to remember what happened.

Right. The blizzard, the panic attack, Jungkook.

Based on the silence, the two of them were still alone. Seokjin would know if the other members had arrived, he just would.

Deciding to worry about that later, Seokjin rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and crawled out of his cocoon onto the cold floor. His phone was lying there and he picked it up to check — still no signal. The fire had died out in the night, and the overhead light had been turned off at some point, but daylight was streaming from the open curtains.

Jungkook was still sleeping. He had passed out over the blanket, body curled on his side facing Seokjin, one arm under his head. He was still in the jeans and sweater he’d been wearing on the drive here. It looked uncomfortable.

Seokjin watched him for a while, just thinking. Then, with a sigh, he raised himself to his knees and gathered the blanket. He gently pushed Jungkook to his back and straightened his arms to lay in a more comfortable position. Then he tossed the blanket over him and got to his feet.

He had just begun walking towards the window when a movement caught his eye. Stopping in his tracks, Seokjin looked over.

In the corner of the room was a row of cameras, just like the ones that had been everywhere in the houses they’d stayed in during the previous seasons of In The Soop.

Walking over, Seokjin looked at each of the lens, eyes wide. There were three cameras in this corner. He stared at them and asked, “Are you on? Are you recording?”

Obviously, there was no answer.

Just to check, Seokjin moved his body to the right; a camera pivoted to follow him. He moved to the left; once again, the camera moved.

“I guess you’re gonna follow all our movements again.” Belatedly, Seokjin remembered his appearance. “I probably look like a nightmare. I’m sorry.” Like Jungkook, he was still wearing the clothes he’d worn on the way here. His hair had been styled and face made up prior to the trip, but he was willing to bet it was all a mess now.

But first things first. Seokjin turned away and went over to the windows to confirm what he’d been dreading.

He sighed at the sight of snow, snow, and more snow. Snow falling from the sky, deep snow on the ground. Too much snow.

“We’re snowed in,” he muttered. “There’s no way the other members are coming any time soon.”

It was much easier to digest that, now that he was well-rested and warm. Things did look better in the morning. He just had to trust that their managers and staff kept the other members safe and not stress himself out too much with that.

“Nothing we can do right now,” he decided.

With that, he pushed off the window sill and set about exploring. His sock-clad feet barely made any noise.

The living room was spacious. Cameras hung on every corner, and sat on top of random surfaces. There were comfortable-looking couches near the fireplace, as well as a coffee table that had clearly been displaced due to the mattress. A brief inspection told Seokjin that there were board games under that table, so at least they had options for activities. There was a television with a mini karaoke machine. There was even a keyboard opposite the fireplace, close to the window. An acoustic guitar was perched on a stand against the wall.

It looked like their requests were once again taken into account. To make sure, Seokjin went to the kitchen. After going through the refrigerator and cupboards, he found that they were well-stocked.

Seokjin checked the rooms next. The cabin was a two-story house with wooden walls and rustic interiors. There was one large bedroom on the first floor with two queen beds. The next room was just as big, except it seemed to have been converted into some kind of arcade — there was a whole billiards table, a darts board, some bean bags, a table. A large fancy bathroom was located at the end of the hall.

On the second floor, there were five smaller bedrooms and another bathroom. There was also a balcony that provided a generous view of the breathtaking scenery outside. Seokjin hated the winter, but he could appreciate the beauty of nature and snow.

Deciding he’d feel better after a hot bath, Seokjin climbed down the stairs back to the living room. He fetched their things and got them settled into the master bedroom. After gathering some clothes, he headed out into the hallway.

The bathroom followed the rustic theme of the house, boasting of cream-colored brick walls and polished wooden floorings. The shower was sectioned off with clear floor to ceiling glass, there was a sink and a mirror on porcelain tiles, and there was a white tub under a big curtained window.

Thankfully, the shelf held piles of folded white towels and bathrobes. Baskets of necessities, too: cotton, dental floss, combs, lotion. Seokjin had brought his own toiletries and skincare, so that wasn’t an issue.

He scrubbed himself in the shower first, then decided to warm himself up by soaking in the bath. When he felt human again, he dragged himself out of the water and dried himself. He brushed his teeth and cleaned off the last bits of makeup before thoroughly washing his face.

After blow drying his hair, Seokjin put on silver-blue silk pajamas and patterned gray socks. He generously applied his moisturizing toner and cream, followed by some lip balm. Leaving his things on the sink, he went back to his room, clutching a lotion.

“It’s so cold,” he said, the moment he knew cameras were back on him. “I hate the cold.” He massaged lotion into his hands before placing the bottle on his bedside table. Then he dug around his suitcase for a second layer; he ended up slipping on a white cardigan.

Tucking his feet into fluffy slippers, Seokjin made his way across the room. He stopped in front of the floor-length mirror beside the closet, inspecting his face. There was no sign of last night’s distress on it. In fact, he looked well, if a bit pale.

Seokjin shook his head a little, letting his hair bounce. “I had a perm a few months ago, if you remember. No one told me it was going to last this long.” He pushed his fringe off his forehead, then let it fall back over his left eye. What used to be a tight perm had loosened into flowy waves. Over the past months, he’d gotten numerous treatments because his hair got fried, so he was pleased to see it was smoother and softer. Longer, too. The black locks fell around his face and over his ears.

He liked it. This style always made him look striking and classy but soft, and today was no different. He wore no makeup, meaning the natural rosiness of his cheeks was in full view. That might be a problem, considering his tendency to blush at the drop of a hat, but right now, he looked fresh and young and handsome.

Mood lifted, Seokjin made his way out of the room and into the kitchen. The first thing he did was make tea. The second was cook two packs of ramen with eggs.

Jungkook shuffled into the kitchen in the middle of this, all squinty eyes and rumpled clothes.

“Morning,” Seokjin chirped.

“Mmm.” Jungkook ran his fingers over his hair in an attempt to tame it. “How you feelin’.”

“Good. Breakfast will be ready in five.”

“Bath first,” Jungkook croaked out, then shuffled right out. Seokjin couldn’t blame him. Sleeping in outside clothes was the worst.

“Your stuff is in the bedroom where you got the mattress,” Seokjin called out after him. He received no response, so he turned his attention to making breakfast.

By the time Jungkook returned, there were two bowls of ramen on the table, two steaming cups of tea, and a plate of toasted bread. Seokjin took out some butter and jam, then pulled a chair out and sat down.

Jungkook sat down across the table, eyes on Seokjin. “You look good. I mean better. You look better.”

“I said I was,” Seokjin said crankily. “Stop nagging.”

“Yup, definitely better.”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and Jungkook grinned. He looked better, too. His hair was damp, but his face was bright, and he looked comfortable in his black sweater and black sweatpants. He looked cuddly. Seokjin scolded himself for the thought.

Jungkook is not cuddly, he reminded himself. Jungkook is an unfortunately buff death machine.

“There’s still no signal,” Seokjin said. “Or wifi. I have no idea where the others are, but if they had any lick of sense, they wouldn’t have continued the drive.”

“I wish we could tell them that we’re fine here in the cabin,” Jungkook muttered, picking up the steel chopsticks. “They’re probably freaking out.”

“Yeah. But I’m glad they’re all together. Strength in numbers and all.”

Jungkook nodded, stuffing his mouth with noodles. “I’m sure they are.”

Seokjin wrinkled his nose at the shitty table manners, then got started on his own noodles.

As they ate, comfortable silence befell their table. Seokjin’s mind drifted, wondering what they should do after this. What was there to do?

“Wait,” Jungkook suddenly said halfway through their meal. He sounded horrified. “Did you say no internet?”

“Yup,” Seokjin confirmed, amused. Kids these days. “The house is full of stuff, though. I’m sure it will be fine.”

Later, he’d sigh at himself for speaking too soon.

Chapter Text

It didn’t take long at all before their first fight.

“I hate you,” Seokjin declared, pushing hair off his face. “You’re such a cheater.”

“I’m not cheating!” Jungkook was laughing loudly, clearly having the time of his life. “How can I cheat in this game?!”

After breakfast, they scoured through the living room for something they felt like doing, and ended up playing board games on the coffee table, sitting cross-legged on the floor. They had decided on DaVinci Code, which required outguessing each other for their secret code.

And Seokjin just lost for the third straight round.

“I’m good at this stuff,” Seokjin pressed. And it was true. Namjoon was undeniably book-smart with an IQ of 148, but it’s Seokjin who always wins mind games, and he excelled in stuff that required strategy. He was also the wittiest and most emotionally intelligent out of the group.

And yet he was losing.

“You are.” Jungkook braced an elbow on the table, resting his cheek against his palm. He smiled wide as he watched Seokjin huff out a fit. “But I can read your face like a book. That’s how I’m winning.”

Stupid Jungkook and his stupid ability to read Seokjin’s mind. Upset, Seokjin shoved his chips away from him, towards the center of the table. “I don’t want to play this game anymore.”

Jungkook laughed again, reaching out with both hands to cup Seokjin’s face. “Adorable.” He squished Seokjin’s cheeks together. “Such a sore loser.”

Annoyed, Seokjin dipped his chin and bit Jungkook’s hand hard.

“Ow!” Jungkook ripped his hand away and moved as if he was about to tackle Seokjin over the table. So he did the only thing he could think of.

Seokjin grabbed a random throw pillow lying beside him on the floor and hit Jungkook smack in the face. Then he let go of it, staggered to his feet, and ran.

Behind him, he could hear Jungkook scrambling around. Giggling hysterically, Seokjin zeroed in on the stairs and legged it, taking it two at a time. It was stupidly dangerous because he was wearing socks and he could slip to his death, but the instinct to flee had seized him completely.

When he reached the second floor, he was faced with a hallway of closed doors. Making a snap decision, Seokjin quietly but quickly slid his feet over the smooth wooden floorings until he reached the second door to the left, entering quickly and silently shutting the door.

Then he hurried over to the nearest closet and climbed in, hiding himself.

A few seconds later, there were thundering footsteps outside, and the door was thrown open. Then nothing. Seokjin held his breath, placing his hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t make a sound, and waited until the footsteps moved lower down the hallway.

Thinking fast, Seokjin tiptoed out of the closet, hovering over the open doorway. He hesitated before going out, waiting until there was the sound of another door opening. Sure that Jungkook was distracted, Seokjin booked it, not bothering to look back as he ran towards the staircase urgently.

He probably would have gotten away with it, if he didn’t slip at the end of the hallway. Out of reflex, he slammed a hand against a wall when he caught himself, letting out an impulsive squeak — a second later, hands grabbed his waist, pulling him up then spinning him around.

But Seokjin was still imbalanced, so he was falling before he could make his feet obey. He tumbled right into Jungkook, who tumbled back — next thing he knew, he was landing right on top of Jungkook as they both hit the ground with a painful thud.

“Oof,” Jungkook wheezed, clutching Seokjin’s waist protectively, crinkling his clothes in his grip.

“Sorry,” Seokjin said breathlessly, pushing himself up a little to look at Jungkook’s face. His cheeks, which were looking less chubby and more sculpted these days, were flushed with exertion and his eyes were staring at Seokjin incredulously.

“Are you insane?” Jungkook demanded. “Were you going to run down the stairs wearing socks? You could have snapped your neck! You almost did!”

Seokjin extracted himself from Jungkook, raising himself to his knees. “Don’t be ridiculous. At most, I might have some bruises. If I fell, which I wouldn’t have.”

Jungkook just gaped at him. He looked ridiculous with his long hair splayed around his head like a halo.

Poking Jungkook’s stomach — his finger encountered rock hard muscle, which annoyed him — Seokjin asked, “What will we do now?”

Pursing his lips, Jungkook refused to answer. His expression was stormy.

Seokjin, who wasn’t used to shows of temper from Jungkook outside of practice, was in disbelief. “Are you seriously upset?”

Scowling, Jungkook snapped, “You almost fell down the stairs! You nearly gave me a heart attack!”

Getting irritated himself, Seokjin snapped back, “Well, I didn’t, so I don’t get why you’re yelling!”

“I’m not yelling!”

“Yes, you are! Are you stupid?” Thoroughly annoyed now, Seokjin clambered to his feet and dusted himself off aggressively. “Whatever. Stay there if you want.”

He turned without another word and stalked towards the staircase, making a show of stomping down the stairs and not falling, thank you.

Jungkook didn’t follow him. There were no pouty apologies, no laughter to break the tension, no teasing, ‘Jin-hyung, you’re taking me too seriously again.’

And just like that, the morning’s atmosphere went from sunshine and laughter to troubled and prickly silent.

Fitting, considering the cold.

—

Seokjin decided to pour all his frustrations into slicing lemons and squeezing the juice out of them into a mason jar. After that brief hide and seek stint, he’d been in need of refreshments and settled on making lemon juice.

He stored the leftover juice in the fridge and took a glass with him in the living room. There, he cleaned up the DaVinci Code game, set up his laptop on the coffee table, then fluffed up his pillows and dumped them on the couch. Satisfied, he settled in to watch a series, wanting to escape reality for a while. He ejected the DVD from the laptop first, then inserted it again. It wasn’t easy procuring a legal copy of this; he wished Netflix would just acquire every show in existence.

The opening sequence to Doctor Who had just started when Jungkook jogged down the couch and demanded, “Are you watching without me?”

Seokjin rolled his eyes and took a sip of his lemon juice.

Huffing, Jungkook stomped over and threw himself into Seokjin’s nest, much to his irritation. Seokjin elbowed him in the ribs. “Go away.”

Jungkook didn’t even budge. Instead, he snuggled in closer and hugged Seokjin, pressing his face into Seokjin’s neck.

Squirming, Seokjin stretched his arm and clumsily placed his glass on the coffee table in an effort to save it. When both hands were free, he used them to try to pry Jungkook’s arms off of him — to no avail.

Jungkook inhaled in that way he liked to do, because he was sensitive to scents, and he enjoyed sniffing nice-smelling things. Seokjin had always been one of those nice-smelling things, or so Jungkook claimed. The feeling of Jungkook’s lips resting on Seokjin’s sensitive skin sent goosebumps down his arms.

“Go away, I said,” Seokjin complained, giving up on trying to claw on Jungkook’s forearms. It was like trying to dislodge a pair of heavy sandbags. He’d never admit being held this way was comforting; his anger was in danger of dissipating completely.

“No,” Jungkook muttered, lips brushing over Seokjin’s neck in a very, very dangerous way. And then, as if unbothered, Jungkook lifted his head. “Can I have some juice?”

“Make your own,” Seokjin said grumpily, hoping against all hope that he didn’t sound as affected as he was.

“Okay.” Jungkook finally released him and got to his feet. He bent over and hit the spacebar to pause the episode. “Wait for me.”

“Whatever.” As Jungkook walked away, Seokjin found himself feeling bereft. Caving, he said, “There’s leftover juice in the fridge.”

“Yes!” Jungkook bounced towards the kitchen, considerably happier. Seokjin wondered when exactly he started to be so weak.

Maybe he always had been, when it came to Jungkook.

With a sigh, Seokjin exhaled all his pointless irritation, finding that he didn’t even know why he was mad. There was something about Jungkook that stripped him of rationality, and maturity, and common sense.

He was 31 now, but with Jungkook, he might as well be the 20-year-old he was when they first met.

His musings were interrupted by the sound of someone hacking out a lung, and Seokjin sat straight, peering over his shoulder. “Jungkookie?”

The kitchen was just beside the living room, separated by a counter with stools lined up alongside it. Jungkook appeared over said counter, face scrunched up. “Did you put sugar in this at all?” He lifted the mason jar of juice.

“No,” Seokjin said slowly, already piecing together the situation. “That’s pure juice I squeezed out of the lemons a while ago.”

Jungkook stared at him. Seokjin stared back.

“Did you drink straight from the jar?” Seokjin asked patiently. “The way I always tell you not to do?”

When Jungkook didn’t answer, Seokjin started laughing.

Visibly annoyed, Jungkook turned around and started puttering around the kitchen once more.

Seokjin was still giggling intermittently by the time Jungkook returned to the couch, clutching a glass of presumably sweetened lemon juice.

“It’s not funny,” Jungkook huffed out as he sat.

Lifting his face to show Jungkook his blatant amusement, Seokjin grinned at him. “Why am I laughing, then?”

“Because you’re a lunatic.” Jungkook’s face softened and he reached out to pinch Seokjin’s cheek. “Good thing you’re the cutest lunatic.”

Seokjin swiped at the offending hand, turning his face away to hide the blush. Leaning over, he tapped at the laptop keyboard to restart the episode and clicked play. “Let’s just watch.”

Doctor Who was a sci-fi show the two of them started watching late last year after coming across one too many intriguing edits of it online. It turned out that it was a massively popular series in the UK that was deeply embedded in its pop culture. The series had been in existence since 1963, but got a reboot in 2005.

The latter was what they started with — they only checked it out of curiosity in the beginning, but they quickly got hooked. The more seasons they powered through, the more they got attached to this immortal alien who traveled across space and time in a police box that was actually a spaceship. Soon enough, they had official merch of the show, including DVDs of all the seasons. Their vocabulary adopted new words like ‘timey wimey,’ and ‘space-time continuum,’ and ‘Tardis,’ and ‘companion,’ and ‘weeping angels,’ not to mention ‘Nine,’ ‘Ten,’ and ‘Eleven.’ The other members always looked at them as if they grew two heads whenever they got into a discussion about it.

Due to their busy schedules, their watching progress was rather slow. They had just started the eight season recently, which they were thoroughly enjoying because they both liked the Twelfth Doctor and his companions, Amy Pond and Rory Williams.

In fact, Jungkook was especially attached to Rory, which was odd, because while Rory was an important character, he was far from being the main character. Considering Jungkook’s superstar self, Seokjin would have thought he’d like Amy, who was gorgeous and a diva in her own right.

But no. Jungkook liked Rory; Seokjin liked Amy.

The point was moot, anyway, because the two characters were a couple — always had been, no matter how much their relationship was tested since they were introduced in the fifth season.

And it looked like they were about to be tested again. Currently, Seokjin and Jungkook were on the sixth episode of the sixth season titled ‘Let’s Kill Hitler.’ They were quickly absorbed, because they were taken to Amy and Rory’s past which showed just how they got together back when they were teenagers.

The plot twist was that it was their daughter from the future who was the one that got them together.

When the episode was over, Jungkook hit the spacebar. He looked at Seokjin, eyes wide. “I can’t believe this.”

Seokjin’s eyes were equally wide. “I feel like I need a moment to understand.”

“Melody — she got them together—”

“River Song is literally everywhere in this story—”

“Her timeline is the most confusing part!”

After trying to talk over each other, Jungkook ran off to the master bedroom briefly, and returned with papers and pens. “I need to make a timeline.”

Seokjin slid to the floor and pushed the clutter on the table to the side. “Okay, let’s go.”

As they scribbled on scattered bits of paper, their conversation seamlessly turned from excited chattering to heated bickering to a full-blown argument.

Yeah, another one. It hadn’t even been a day.

“I don’t know how many times Amy has to prove to you that she loves Rory!” Seokjin exclaimed, tapping a piece of paper with the tip of his pen. “Just what is your issue?”

Jungkook jabbed a finger at the laptop angrily. “We just watched their past! They’ve been friends since they were kids, and he’s probably been in love with her that whole time! And yet when they’re teenagers, Amy has the gall to ask Rory which girl he likes? You’re kidding me!”

“So she’s a bit oblivious — so what! She realized immediately after, didn’t she?”

“No, she’s not oblivious, it’s just that she never once considered him! After all that time?! I mean, I get that he wasn't a looker but—”

“They still got together! And they’re still together, years later!” Seokjin firmly placed the pen down on the table. “Just say you don’t like her!”

“I like her just fine,” Jungkook scoffed, crossing his arms. “She’s just vain.”

“She’s gorgeous,” Seokjin pointed out.

“Yeah, and she’s vain. And the guy, Rory — he’s just normal. Normal-looking, with a normal personality, nowhere near as captivating as her!”

“Why does that matter? They’re best friends. They’re probably sick of each other’s faces and used to each other’s personalities. It’s not important.”

“It’s important!” Jungkook seemed genuinely aggravated. “She’s out of his league, that’s why it took them so long to get together!”

“Did she say that?”

“Well—”

“I don’t think she said that,” Seokjin insisted. “He was just — I don’t know. A coward?”

“Oh, he’s the coward?”

“It doesn’t matter which one is the coward! He was in love with her, she found out, they dated. All’s well that ends well. It’s not that weird!”

Jungkook was suddenly watching Seokjin intently, as if the next words out of his mouth were of utmost importance. “Isn’t it? Why do you think so? Do you think you can know someone so well for so long and just realize one day after so many years that you’re in love with them? Do you think — do you think that could happen?”

The question was oddly too heavy, making Seokjin feel uncomfortable. Looking away, Seokjin simply said, “Anything is possible. Life throws curveballs all the time.”

“I’m asking if you think so,” Jungkook pressed, because he was the type who just had to push and push.

Seokjin licked his lips, feeling nervous. Like he was prey hiding from a predator in the woods. Still, he was compelled to answer with honesty. “I think it wouldn’t have come so suddenly.”

“No?” Jungkook sounded invested now.

“I think she liked him too,” Seokjin said, “but she didn’t want to face it.”

“Because he was a loser?”

“Because he was her best friend.”

“And?”

What did Jungkook mean ‘and’? Was that not enough reason for someone to be scared? “And so many things could go wrong!” Seokjin looked at Jungkook, searching his face for answers. “Why would — why would anyone want to ruin everything?”

“Because—” Jungkook looked frustrated. “Because the happiness in the end will be worth it.”

“And if that happiness comes with consequences?” Seokjin challenged.

“Everything comes with consequences!” Jungkook exploded, startling Seokjin. “It’s just a matter of choosing which ones you want to live with!”

Seokjin was rendered silent, stunned at the fire in Jungkook’s eyes and the conviction with which he said the words. He found that he couldn’t find an argument against that logic.

Exactly when did Jungkook become so wise? Did Seokjin have that kind of principle when he was 26?

He need not try to scramble for a response. As if possessed, Jungkook started shuffling around the mess they made on the table, picking up pieces of papers, some scribbled on, some blank.

“What are you doing?” Seokjin asked, baffled but intrigued.

“I’m writing a song.” Jungkook didn’t even look at him.

“You’re writing a song,” he repeated.

“Yes.”

“Right now.”

“Yes.” Jungkook held up the timeline they came up with and studied it, the way a doctor inspected x-ray scans. “I find myself filled with unexpected inspiration.”

Weird and completely random, but whatever. Seokjin was starting to feel hungry anyway, making him realize they hadn’t eaten lunch. “Then by all means.” He got to his feet, stretching, cracking his joints. “I’m going to cook lunch.”

“Yell if you need help,” Jungkook said distractedly, head bowed over the papers on the table, already writing.

Seokjin picked up their empty glasses. “I won’t need help.”

“Just yell if you do.”

Rolling his eyes, Seokjin escaped to the kitchen.

Maybe if he walked far enough, he’d escape Jungkook, too.

But he already knew from experience that it wasn’t possible. Jungkook was unfortunately tireless and much too fast.

Chapter Text

Anyone would say that Seokjin and Jungkook’s friendship was unusual. Nothing bad about it, just a surprise.

The stiff hierarchy in Korean culture placed Seokjin at the top of the Bangtan food chain, given his age. And rowdy they might be, but the boys did defer to him when push comes to shove. Seokjin just didn’t shove. Not often. He wanted friends, not minions. He wanted to be given real respect because he deserved it, not because it was what society dictated.

But even with that line of thinking, Seokjin still abided by those rules when it came to other people. And he himself still had borders no one must ever cross. If Taehyung ever raised his voice at Seokjin and spoke to him disrespectfully — you better bet Seokjin would slap him with the hyung card.

Age still played an important factor no matter what. And an age gap was something that was even harder to overcome.

Being honest-to-God friends — friends, not just bandmates, not just brothers, not just two people forced to get along — with Jeon Jungkook was already a surprising development, but not that impossible considering their living arrangements: seven boys in a single scrappy dorm room, and then later in a single lavish apartment.

But being best friends? Best friends who could comfortably drop the honorifics, best friends who purposely choose to constantly hang out with each other specifically, best friends who were so comfortable being in each other’s spaces that being touchy was the norm?

It was closer to a feat than anything. And the chaotic, playful, ‘Tom and Jerry’ dynamic they somehow fell into was honestly very weird. Seokjin had many friends older than him and he would never treat them the way Jungkook treated him.

But despite that awareness, Seokjin never pushed Jungkook back and erected new borders. He simply could not imagine life if Jungkook stopped manhandling him, caressing his shoulders, squeezing his thigh, even smacking him.

Because for all that Seokjin complained, he never actually minded any of that. While he was often at the mercy of Jungkook’s heavy-handed ministrations, he also got treated to Jungkook’s gentleness: when he would cradle Seokjin’s palms in his carefully, when he would lightly play with Seokjin’s ears whenever they got red, when he would let his fingers linger on Seokjin’s skin after fixing his collar or sleeves or buttons.

Recently though, Jungkook has been more gentle with him than rough. The force of his hits had steadily been waning over the years, but lately there’s even been a brief hesitation before Jungkook would slap his arm.

And that was unusual.

—

The chill woke Seokjin up from his afternoon nap. He was already shivering before his eyes were even open, but there was a warmth close by that promised to be his salvation.

“Cold?” Jungkook’s amused voice asked as Seokjin inched towards him on the bed.

Seokjin just nodded and reached out wordlessly, hands grasping, and eyes still closed.

The mattress dipped as Jungkook adjusted himself and lay properly on the bed, joining Seokjin under the blankets. Seokjin didn’t know what Jungkook had been doing before he woke up, but the important thing was that he was in cuddle position now. Eagerly, Seokjin latched onto him like a koala. When that wasn’t enough, he wormed his hands underneath Jungkook’s sweatshirt and pressed them against warm skin.

He tried not to think about the fact that he was pressing them against rock hard abs, too.

Jungkook jerked and hissed. “Your fingers are cold.”

“It is cold.”

“The heater is on, yeobo.”

“And it’s not enough.” Seokjin frowned. “Why isn’t the fireplace on?” He couldn’t feel a roaring fire behind him.

“Because we only have so much wood? We have to save them for the night.”

Right, Seokjin remembered. They were stranded. He begrudgingly let it pass.

It was only when he was warm enough for coherent thought that he cracked his eyes open and squinted at Jungkook. His sculpted face was softened by the pale light streaming from the windows, making him look like chubby-cheeked menace Seokjin had gotten used to.

The eyebrow and lip piercings threatened the illusion, though.

“What are you doing in my bed?” Seokjin inquired.

“Is this your bed?” Jungkook asked, unfazed. “I was the one who took it out of the room. I could argue that it’s my bed.”

Irritated, Seokjin pressed, “I laid down on it first, it’s my bed.”

“Hyung,” Jungkook sighed, gathering Seokjin in his arms. “Too many years have passed to still be arguing about beds. ‘Kay?”

“Whatever,” Seokjin grumbled into Jungkook’s chest. He supposed this was comfortable. And admittedly familiar. Jungkook had been finding his way into Seokjin’s bed more and more lately. Just when Seokjin had thought he’d grown out of that old habit. “Still my bed,” he tacked on, because he couldn’t help himself.

Jungkook just patted Seokjin’s head.

Seokjin drifted in and out of a half-asleep state for an indeterminate amount of time. Eventually, he got tired of it. He let himself wake up fully, satisfied to find that he was properly warm.

And still curled up in Jungkook’s arms.

He turned over, hand patting around for his phone. When he came into contact with it, he grabbed it and checked the time. It was 5:20 p.m.

Jungkook tucked himself into Seokjin’s back, arms tightening around his waist. It seemed that he was napping.

“Hey,” Seokjin tried. “It’s getting late.”

“Time has no meaning,” Jungkook mumbled into Seokjin’s nape.

Not napping, then.

But Seokjin did see his point. The purpose of In The Soop was to allow them to do absolutely nothing — no schedules, no appointments, no obligations. And Seokjin wasn’t sure if these clips were going to be used, seeing as BTS wasn’t complete; he wasn’t even sure if those cameras were running, though it was safer to assume that they were.

It was just Seokjin and Jungkook, stranded in the woods, with all the time in the world to do as they pleased.

The thought was liberating. Seokjin rolled back around to face Jungkook and shook his shoulder until Jungkook pried his eyes open.

“What,” Jungkook asked, displeased.

“Kookie, I just realized something.”

Jungkook retracted one of his arms and tucked it under the pillow, buoying up his head, but kept the other slung over Seokjin’s waist. “What?” He sounded more patient now.

“This is the most alone we’ve ever been,” Seokjin informed him. “In, like, years.”

“Hmm.” Jungkook seemed to consider this.

“Not just the missing members, but—”

“Everyone else.”

“Yeah.”

“No staff, no managers.”

“We usually can’t even walk anywhere without bodyguards.”

“Right.” Seokjin paused as a thought occurred to him. “Now I’m wondering if this place is even secure. We rented out the whole thing, right?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook shrugged. “I’m sure it’s secured, or we never would have gotten the green light to drive over here. We probably have people in the property who just couldn’t get to us right now because of the snow.”

Seokjin nodded slowly. That made sense. “Still, we’re so… alone. We can do anything.”

“What should we do? What do we want to do?”

They stared at each other for an extended moment. Then they burst out laughing.

“We can’t even think about anything,” Jungkook said.

“Faced with the prospect of freedom, we just freeze,” Seokjin lamented. “Is this what getting old is actually like? Gone are the days we so badly wanted to run away.”

To be fair, there wasn’t much reason for them to want to run away anymore. They were no longer trainees or rookies who had to be babysat and kept on a leash by their agency. Now they had shares in their agency and were mostly in control of their craft and careers. Sure, being this phenomenally famous was a prison in its own way and they still faced so many challenges and obstacles but… more or less, they were all content. They were steady on their feet, sure of their path. No matter how jagged it was.

Seokjin thought the main reason behind that was because they had each other. Then and now, through it all. And they never wanted to break apart or give up what they’d earned with their blood, sweat, and tears.

“I mean… I don’t know.” Jungkook rolled to his back and stretched. Seokjin mourned the loss of warmth. “I don’t particularly want to do anything. I’m good right now.”

“We’re literally doing nothing,” Seokjin pointed out.

“Yeah. I don’t mind doing nothing when it’s with you.”

The words were uttered so casually, almost glibly, that Seokjin almost missed the significance of it. Almost. As it was, he was blushing again, heart stuttering in his chest.

Jungkook wasn't really the type to sit idly. As much as he wanted to waste time that way, his drive to be better, to be the best, to meet people’s high expectations of him wouldn’t allow it. He was always moving, always practicing, always working. And his natural curiosity and competitiveness always had him digging his claws into something new: painting, martial arts, filmmaking, among countless others.

In contrast, Seokjin took every chance he could get from their packed schedules to wind down and heal. He could quite literally laze around in bed the whole day, and stay up playing video games the whole night. It was his preferred method of recuperating.

You’d think Jungkook was the older one between the two of them. They might be both introverted, but they couldn't be more different.

And now Jungkook was saying he liked doing nothing with Seokjin? Usually when they hangout, they do something. Watching movies, playing tennis, going fishing.

Speaking of…

“Will you also do somethings with me?” Seokjin wondered. “Like if we weren’t stuck here and we actually had complete freedom.”

“Like what?” Jungkook asked curiously.

“I don’t know… I always wanted to try skydiving.” Thanks to his job, he was able to do a great many things in his life that most people wouldn’t get the chance to. But for some reason, he hadn’t gotten around to skydiving yet.

“You’ll freak out and probably cry.” Jungkook sounded sure. And for good reason.

“Most likely,” Seokjin agreed. “Still want to do it though.”

“Then I’ll skydive with you. Anything else?”

Anything else? There were too many. “I want to walk with horses in Ronda.”

“Again, you’ll freak out and cry, but okay.”

“And there’s this island in Italy…”

“Island-hopping in Italy, got it.”

“We’re making plans as if we won’t be too busy for all that in the future,” Seokjin said with a laugh.

“It doesn’t hurt to make a bucket list,” Jungkook argued.

Well, he had a point. In that case… “I wanna go to beaches that glow at night.”

“Okay.”

“I want to go to a place where the sea mirrors the sky.”

“Okay…”

“I want to go to a castle overlooking the ocean.”

“There actually are such things, right?” Jungkook sounded worried.

“I have no idea,” Seokjin admitted. “I’m just pulling from the imagination of my old 12-year-old self who read too many fantasy storybooks.”

“In other words you have no idea what you’re saying.”

“None.” They both laughed. Jungkook knew him too well.

They talked about meaningless things until the room was much darker. Seokjin checked the time again — it was almost 7 p.m.

“Dinner time?” Jungkook asked.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll handle it.”

“Really?”

Jungkook was already crawling off the mattress, never one to dawdle. “Yup.”

Seokjin shrugged and left him to it. But then he realized that he'd already crossed out ‘laze around doing nothing’ from his to-do list, and he couldn’t nap because he was no longer sleepy.

Bored, he stood up and shuffled around the living room, looking for something to do. He could play video games, but he was too worried about the other members to really enjoy it. He didn’t feel like karaoke, didn’t feel like board games or puzzles, didn’t feel like setting up the indoors golf set sitting in the corner of the living room.

Unsuccessful, he headed towards the arcade room.

When he got there, he spotted the billiards table, and figured it was as good as anything. He was rather good at billiards.

After setting up, Seokjin picked up a cue, chalked the tip, and broke the rack. He then moved around the table, playing quietly by himself, mind elsewhere.

He should probably try to be entertaining for the cameras, but he wasn’t in the mood. Not with five missing members.

To make up for it, Seokjin approached the speakers set up in a corner of the room, connected his phone to it, and put their music on shuffle.

Then he proceeded to play dispassionately, the sound of balls clacking against each other joining Telepathy in the background as he slowly but steadily cleared the table.

At some point, Jungkook entered with a, “Yeobo?” Then, “There you are.”

Seokjin looked up to find him leaning against the doorway, watching with his arms crossed. “Dinner ready?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook pushed himself off, effortlessly cool. “I’ll bring it here. With drinks.”

“Okay.” Guess the night was about to turn pretty fun. It was easy like that with Jungkook.

It only took a few minutes for Jungkook to return bearing plates of samgyupsal and gyeran mari and kimchi fried rice. After setting them down on the table, he left again.

Seokjin set the table up, and Jungkook came back with bottles of soju.

“Eat first,” Jungkook said. “Then let’s play after.”

“Sounds good.”

And they settled down for dinner.

The food was great. Seokjin was the best cook among them, but Jungkook was pretty good, too — he should be, seeing as he used to help Seokjin in the kitchen all the time. When he wasn’t in one of his angsty teenage moods, he even went out to buy missing ingredients.

Those were the days. It’s been a lifetime since they lived in a cramped dorm in 2013, when they didn’t even have complete kitchen utensils so Seokjin stole some from his own home. He used to experiment with dishes hunkered down on the floor and place his creations on a random suitcase for Taehyung or Jimin to take photos of because the kitchen was too small to fit a table.

Now they had a cabin to themselves because they were literally getting paid to go on vacation for a few days, and he and Jungkook were eating good food in an arcade room created just for them, while their Grammy-nominated song Dynamite filled the comfortable silence.

How far they’d come.

When the food was gone and they were halfway through their bottles of soju, Jungkook clambered up to his feet and said, “Hyung, let’s play.”

Seokjin followed him to the pool table. They reset the game, and Seokjin let Jungkook break the rack. He leaned against the side, sipping idly as he watched Jungkook bend over and position his hand on the surface, aiming the tip of his cue right at the white ball.

Jungkook had rolled his sleeves up to expose his firm, strong forearms. Why was the sight of the prominent veins there attractive?

The sound of the cue ball crashing against the rack snapped Seokjin out of it.

Must be the alcohol, he decided. He was already slightly buzzed.

Still, Seokjin managed to sink a ball when it was his turn. Muscle memory. It always saved the day at the most random times.

He failed to hit another one when he tried again, though. Jungkook took his turn with a snort.

“Remember when we used to do this all the time?” Seokjin asked Jungkook, smiling as the memories bubbled to the front of his mind, along with a dash of nostalgia.

“After you pick me up from school or after our voice lessons,” Jungkook said, aiming to hit a green ball towards the middle pocket. “Depends on the week and your allowance.”

Seokjin laughed. “You burned through my money easily.”

“You were generous to us kids who had so little.” There was a smile in Jungkook’s voice. “You were probably the reason why we had some form of normalcy in our teenage years.”

The cue ball clacked against the green ball, and down it went into the hole.

But Seokjin was lost in thought. There was a question he’d always wanted to ask Jungkook, but never found the courage to give voice to.

Maybe he’ll ask later in the night when he was more drunk.

They continued the game with a surprisingly air of peace around them, though their energy and playfulness picked up as they got tipsier. They jumped along to Dope, and sang along to So What, and before long, the table was almost empty.

The Truth Untold started playing and it was then Seokjin asked the question. It was his turn to take a shot, but he stalled.

“Do you ever feel like you missed out on life?”

Jungkook blinked at him in obvious surprise. The question must seem out of the left field for him.

“You became a trainee at fifteen and it just kept going,” Seokjin explained. “You grew up like this.”

“Expound please.” Jungkook squinted at Seokjin. “I’m trying to figure out why you’re asking.”

“You grew up fast, and you lived fast. You’re only,” he paused to try to remember, “26 and yet you act like you already know how your life is going to go.” Which was to be BTS’s Jungkook for however long he could, and then go solo when they reached the finish line. Maybe try directing professionally. Predictable, really.

“I see,” Jungkook said, as if he did see.

Seokjin didn’t think he did. “I’m asking if you feel like this lifestyle consumed you to the point that there’s never been any chance for anything normal. Or… you know. Different.”

Because sometimes, he wondered who Jeon Jungkook would be if he didn’t have this big a load on his shoulders, if he didn’t have this big a spotlight on him, if he hadn’t been raised by six boys who didn’t know what they were doing either.

And in any of the future plans that Jungkook ever shared with them, there had been no mention of a partner or a family. It was all just performing, performing, and more performing.

Jungkook was never going to slow down, not by choice. Seokjin was exhausted thinking about it; he himself had to admit that retirement sounded good sometimes. He wanted to take a step back from the spotlight — not now, not completely, but one day, maybe after his military enlistment, after their contract with HYBE runs out. He wanted a life — to travel for the sake of traveling, to not worry about causing a scandal with a social media post, to rest without feeling guilty or lazy. And eventually he would want a family, although he hadn't completely decided on kids; pets would be nice, though. A nice big house near the Han River, a partner, and pets — that would be nice.

Did Jungkook ever think about things like that, or were his mind and priorities completely skewed?

“Sometimes I do feel like I missed out on a lot, am missing out on a lot, when I realize I can never ride the subway again, or impulsively go to a cinema,” Jungkook said.

“Right.” Seokjin could understand that, even if he felt a flash of sadness at the admission.

“But,” Jungkook continued, “we still had the best time of our lives, right? I had the best time of my life with you. Even when we were trainees and had to follow a lot of strict rules… remember, you’d secretly treat me and Taehyung and Jimin to ice cream in the convenience store? And back then, we’d even sneak out and run around in the park at night.”

The nostalgia was persistent now, taking him back to simpler times, when happiness wasn’t freely given, but something they felt they had to steal.

“I like to think I was still given the chance to be a kid,” Jungkook continued. “Before we got big… I worked tirelessly, sure, but there were also silly fights out in the rain, going to the arcade after school, racing each other in fields we never would have known existed if not for our music videos.”

At that, Seokjin smiled. Jungkook had a point — for all that they’d missed out on, they also gained rare experiences that not many people could say they had. They were able to play around in places they otherwise would never have gone to.

“And even if the rest of us never got to attend actual university classes, you taught us the card games and party tricks you learned, and played with us in our old dorm,” Jungkook recalled.

“I remember,” Seokjin said, feeling horribly old all of a sudden. College days felt so far away. Has it really been a decade? “I wanted you to experience it somehow.”

“And that was enough. We had our own version of fun, of youth.” Jungkook smiled at him. “I know you’re asking because you had an entire normal life before you met us and before we debuted.”

Seokjin nodded. “A whole different life, where I got to experience normalcy, up until mid-college. Pre-debut era was my first life, I’m on my second. But you’ve only had this one because you started young.”

As Seokjin grew older, the more he realized that starting as a trainee at 15 was a little bit insane. And so was being launched into the merciless idol industry at 17. Seokjin sometimes wondered how Jungkook didn’t go mad; even more unbelievable, he was among the most mentally stable in the group.

Meanwhile, Seokjin was one of the most prone to bouts of depression.

But perhaps that was exactly why that was so — Jungkook was able to grow into this lifestyle, while Seokjin had a lot of adjusting to do. Like change his entire career path, for example.

“Yeah, sounds about right,” Jungkook said. “But you shouldn’t worry about that. I wouldn’t trade this life for anything, even if I could go back.”

Now why was Seokjin so relieved? “I was just curious,” he explained lamely. He picked up his soju absently. “I wonder about it sometimes.”

“You could have asked anytime.”

“Out of nowhere?”

“You act as if you don’t say the weirdest things at the most random moments.”

Seokjin laughed a little. “I admit it.” He took a gulp, and realizing that the bottle was almost empty, chugged the rest of the soju down.

“Not to alarm you,” Jungkook teased, “but I think you’re drunk, hyung.”

“I’m not drunk.” Seokjin slammed the bottle down beside their empty plates and wobbled his way back to the pool table.

“For your sake, I hope not, because you’re gonna need to jump that ball,” Jungkook told him.

Seokjin blinked down at the pool table, took note of the positioning of the balls. “Aw, damn it.”

Jungkook laughed.

Huffing, Seokjin clumsily went to the wall where the cues were stacked up on a rack. He plucked out a jump cue and narrowed his eyes in determination. “I can hit that.”

“Sure, Jinnie,” Jungkook chirped.

Seokjin swiveled his head to look at Jungkook, who was filming him with his phone. He aimed a finger gun at him and winked. “I’ll do it for you, Jungkookie.”

From behind his phone, Jungkook’s face turned red. Or were Seokjin’s eyes playing tricks on him? “Uh-huh.”

Seokjin moved towards the edge of the table closest to the cue ball, chalked up the tip of the cue, and tried his darndest to make mental computations. If he were sober, this was a shot that he could easily do and even score off of. The three balls in question were in a skewed line across the table, with the cue ball half-blocked by the second ball, and the last one aligned with a middle pocket. A simple jump cue was all he needed — a broad one, but still simple — except he wasn’t sober. Jungkook was right about that.

And yet his pride was on the line. He told Jungkook he'd do it for him and now he had to.

Seokjin ran a hand over his hair, then rubbed his face. Focus, he thought to himself.

“I’m waiting,” Jungkook prodded.

Raising a hand, Seokjin willed the world to steady. “Okay, be quiet. This is the most important shot, like, ever.” If he could score this, he could clear the rest of the table. There were only four balls left.

Jungkook snickered but otherwise didn’t say anything.

Seokjin placed the tips of his fingers on the surface of the table close to the cue ball. Leaning over, he raised his right elbow high, resting the cue tip on the elevated bridge he created with his hand. Tightening and loosening his grip on the wooden stick, he did a few practice motions, eyes flicking from one ball to the next.

The tension in the room was funny because it had no business being there. So what if he messed this up? They would both laugh it off, and move on.

But Fire started playing and the aggressive beat of the music only made it worse.

Seokjin knew he needed to strike down on the cue ball quickly and precisely, with just the right amount of weight, because if he hit too hard, the ball might go flying off the table, and if he didn’t hit hard enough, the ball wouldn’t reach the one he was trying to bump. The jump needed to be the perfect arc, and the perfect speed.

Taking a deep breath, Seokjin licked his lips and took the shot.

The tip of his cue struck the ball dead center at a steep angle, sending it sailing over the middle ball and landing just beside the next ball. Its momentum had the cue ball careening towards the last ball — ultimately sending it into the pocket.

Seokjin dropped his cue to the floor and pumped his fist as Jungkook started whooping loudly, and it was like getting injected with adrenaline. He staggered backwards on his feet then started dancing to Fire, his muscle memory putting itself to good use once again.

Jungkook was laughing like a hyena. “Did you win a championship or something?” he wheezed.

“No, but I can finish this!” Seokjin yelled.

“Go on, then,” Jungkook urged, smile in his voice.

Stripping off his cardigan — he was feeling flushed and restricted — and hanging it over the side of the table, Seokjin picked his other cue back up. He did quick work of the rest of the game, finding it easy to sink the last of the balls without obstructions. When he was done, he carelessly tossed the cue on the table and stretched his arms wide, smiling smugly at Jungkook, who was clapping his hands obligingly.

Then he giggled when Jungkook swooped in and grabbed Seokjin around the waist, lifting him and spinning him around. It had the effect of making Seokjin feel like he was king of the world. But also horribly dizzy. He hugged Jungkook around the neck, wanting to hang on to something.

When Jungkook put him down, they kept their arms around each other and Seokjin said, “Jungkook-ah, I’m really starting to feel the alcohol now.”

Laughing, Jungkook patted Seokjin on the butt. “Go get ready for bed, hyung. I’ll do the dishes.”

“No, no,” Seokjin said, stumbling back. “I’ll do it. You already cooked.”

“You might break the plates,” Jungkook countered. “Bathroom, go.” He pushed Seokjin a little.

Pouting, Seokjin obeyed and left the room. He did want to lie down already.

Bracing himself with a hand on the wall, Seokjin made his way down the hallway towards the bathroom. There he did basic necessities, and then proceeded with his evening skincare routine. Progress was slow-going because the world was swaying. It was a relief when he finished by smearing on some lip balm.

When he exited the bathroom, the chill reminded Seokjin that he’d removed his cardigan. He made a stop at the master’s bedroom and rummaged through Jungkook’s suitcase, tugging out the comfiest hoodie he could find.

After he’d put it on — it was big on him, because while he might have the widest shoulders, Jungkook was the one dedicated to bodybuilding — he left the room and headed towards the mattress in front of the fireplace. The living room was dark but toasty.

Jungkook was already there, getting a fire going.

Seokjin walked over and let himself collapse on the mattress, shuffling around until he was under the blankets. He sighed and let his eyes fall shut, pleased at the warmth coming off the flames.

A hand landed on his arm, thumb rubbing over the sleeve. “Ah, stealing my clothes again, are we?”

“Comfy,” Seokjin mumbled, half into his pillow.

“Alright, then.” The hand disappeared. “My turn for the bathroom.”

As Jungkook stood up and shuffled off, Seokjin lay there and willed the world to stop spinning.

He didn’t mean to wait for Jungkook, but he did. He was still awake by the time he heard Jungkook reenter the living room and shuffle around, before sitting on the floor beside Seokjin, right in front of the fireplace.

Seokjin opened his eyes. Jungkook was sitting cross-legged with his back to Seokjin, clutching a guitar on his lap. He started checking if the strings were in tune, notes humming in the air.

“Thanks for dinner,” Seokjin murmured, stroking the back of Jungkook’s head. His hair was soft and silky, slipping through his fingers.

Jungkook turned his head, catching Seokjin’s fingers with his hand and pressing a quick kiss to them.

Seokjin’s heart thudded violently in his chest.

Not knowing what else to do, he let his hand fall back on the mattress. “Sing me a lullaby,” he said, his request ending with a yawn.

In lieu of an answer, Jungkook started plucking the string to a familiar song, though Seokjin wasn’t able to place it until Jungkook started singing.

‘I could stay awake just to hear you breathing…’

Seokjin was asleep before he even reached the chorus.

Chapter Text

Waking up was a relief. Seokjin opened his eyes to warmth, shaking off the shadows of his dream.

Immediately, he pulled himself out of Jungkook’s arms, pushed off the blankets, and rolled off the bed. Picking up his phone as he went, he stood up and headed to the bathroom.

His socked feet cushioned his toes from the cold tiles. After taking care of business, he washed his hands and went back out, this time heading towards the kitchen. The first thing he did was grab a glass of water. He was clammy. He felt restless.

Finding himself with a lot of excess energy too early in the morning, Seokjin got started with cooking.

And he didn’t stop for a long time.

In the silence of the kitchen, he scrutinized the contents of the refrigerator and cupboards before mentally coming up with recipes. He thawed some meat first, then made omelettes, then made vegetable-based meals, then cheese tteokbokki, then rice. When the meat was ready, he grabbed a large knife and got started on it. Then he made bulgogi.

By the end of his cooking spree, he was sweaty and more clear-headed. He stared at what he’d done, and, wincing, placed the large portions of dishes in the tupperwares he dug up from the cupboards.

Well, at least they didn’t need to worry about food now.

He cleaned up the kitchen — washed the pots and dishes, put the ingredients back in their respective storage spots, wiped down surfaces.

Triumphant, he went to the bathroom and took a long, hot bath.

By the time he was back in the master’s bedroom, fully dry and fresh and clad in long-sleeved cotton patterned pajamas, he was feeling loads better. It was nearly 11 a.m. He cooked for almost three hours.

And Jungkook still wasn’t awake.

Noticing a camera in the room once again, Seokjin paused and inquired, “Are you working?”

Obviously, he didn’t get an answer. He hunted down his bottle of lotion, before sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of one of the cameras.

As he got started on massaging lotion into his fingers — they were susceptible to drying in the winter — he conversationally said, “I had a weird dream.”

Seokjin tried to recall the details. “I was walking in the woods all alone. It was early in the day… actually, it was a nice morning. The sun wasn’t out much yet, so it was chilly, but at least it wasn’t raining or snowing. But you know how the grass is wet with dew after dawn? Yeah. Weird thing is I was barefoot. So I was cold, and wet, and alone. Just walking in the woods. I have no idea why.”

Studying his nails, he continued, “I seemed to be walking endlessly, but then I realized there was this one tree I keep passing by over and over. And I figured out that for all my walking, I wasn't actually going anywhere. I was going around in circles. And I realized I was trapped, and it had gotten colder, and the day had turned into night. But I couldn’t stop walking.”

He looked up, right at the camera. “Then I woke up. I saw Jungkookie beside me. And I knew that as long as he’s there, the cold can’t touch me. And sure enough, I was warm. It was a bit of a whiplash, actually, because in my dream I was cold. How could that happen?” He mulled over this for a moment. “It was just a bad dream, I suppose. Not even a bad dream exactly… but I was a bit anxious when I first woke, so I ended up cooking a lot without meaning to. Generally, I’m worried about this whole situation so that must be why. I just wanted to explain why I was cooking like a madman.”

With a sigh, Seokjin shook his hands, as if that would help the lotion dry faster. “I’m really not good with winter. If I’d been stuck here alone… now that would’ve been my worst nightmare come to life. So thank goodness I’m not.” He stood up in one smooth movement. “Can you believe Jungkookie is still asleep? I’ve been up and moving for hours already.”

There wasn’t anything strange about that. Seokjin usually woke up earlier than most members, and Jungkook was notoriously difficult to wake.

Putting aside the lotion and leaving the room, Seokjin walked towards the kitchen again. He found that he actually had no appetite for anything he’d just cooked.

“Do you ever cook something and realize you don’t actually want to eat it?” he asked, as he prowled around the kitchen. “I want to eat, though… something sweet, I think.”

Everything he’d cooked was savory. So he pulled out the ingredients for hotteok and started making some from scratch.

He was in the middle of painstakingly frying perfect circles of it when Jungkook finally came in, looking rumpled and lost, his hair disastrous and face slightly greasy.

“You look ugly,” Seokjin informed him.

Jungkook scowled at him, lips pushing out into a pout. It drew attention to the mole and the piercing under his bottom lip. Cute. Or sexy? “Not everyone is like you and can look good 24/7,” he grumbled.

“You’re right.” Seokjin flipped a hotteok. “But you’re being too generous. I, for one, only look good 22/7…” He laughed when Jungkook jabbed him in the ribs.

“Hotteok?” Jungkook leaned over the pan, then looked around and moved towards the tupperwares of food. Uh oh. “And tteokbokki… omelettes… bulgogi—” He marched back towards Seokjin, forehead creased. “What did you do? Did you stress cook again?”

“I was just bored,” Seokjin lied.

Jungkook looked him up and down, probably noticing that he’d bathed and changed, then glanced at the hotteok, and again at the other dishes. Then back at Seokjin, who tried to look as innocent as possible. “Are you anxious? Did you have a nightmare?”

Wow. Got both in one. Seokjin gave him an impressed look despite himself.

But as Jungkook reached for the spatula in Seokjin’s hands, probably meaning to wrestle it away, Seokjin jerked it out of his reach, twisting his body away from further attacks. “Go away. I’m cooking.”

“You’ve cooked enough!”

“Do you want me to abandon this midway?” Seokjin demanded.

“I’ll finish it.”

“No, you don’t shape them well.” When Jungkook tried to steal the spatula again, Seokjin insisted, “I’ll finish cooking after this! Go take a bath, you look like a grease monster. Ew, don’t touch me.”

Jungkook dug his fingers into Seokjin’s ribs again, making him giggle. “This better be the last dish.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

With a defeated huff, Jungkook whirled around and exited the kitchen.

Finally at peace once again, Seokjin removed the hotteok from the pan only to find that it was slightly burnt on one side.

Damn it.

—

Seokjin was enjoying a brewed cup of coffee and languidly piecing together a puzzle by the time Jungkook arrived at the dining area.

He stared at Seokjin like he was a wild animal as he approached, even though Seokjin was doing nothing to deserve that.

Smiling pleasantly, Seokjin waved a hand over the numerous choices of dishes laid out on the table and said, “Take your pick.” He himself had a half-eaten piece of hotteok on his plate.

Jungkook sat down across from Seokjin and said, “I think you might be insane.”

Ignoring him, Seokjin resumed putting together his puzzle. After a moment, Jungkook picked up his chopsticks and got started on his breakfast. Or lunch? It might already be lunch.

The puzzle was rather complex, but the picture was beautiful. Seokjin got so focused on it that he didn’t notice when Jungkook finished eating until his fingers entered his line of vision, a puzzle piece in between them.

Seokjin looked up. Jungkook had stolen Seokjin’s coffee and was sipping it, eyes on the puzzle. He waved the puzzle piece. “This is the one you’re looking for.”

Pouting unhappily at not having figured that out himself, Seokjin snatched the piece and stuck it into the space he’d been trying to fill. It fit perfectly. He pouted harder.

Jungkook’s fingers curled under Seokjin’s chin, thumb resting on his bottom lip. “Puzzle giving yeobo a hard time?”

Seokjin just nodded, feeling self-conscious. When will Jungkook stop calling him that? It was doing things to him. He wondered if he should smack Jungkook’s hand away or take another bite at it.

Before he could do either, Jungkook retracted his hand. Just when Seokjin thought he was safe, Jungkook rounded the table and hovered beside Seokjin, hand patting his hip.

It took a few seconds for Seokjin to figure out what he wanted. Once he did, he stood up, letting Jungkook take his seat and pull him down on his lap.

Thighs, Seokjin’s brain whispered. Thick, muscly thighs.

He slapped those inappropriate thoughts away and settled down. Wondered if this was weird.

It shouldn’t be. The members sit on each other’s laps all the time, when they were being particularly clingy, or they wanted to annoy a particular someone, or simply because there was no more space to sit.

This felt different, though. Not only was there a smattering of free chairs around them, there was also a distinct lack of the urge to be annoying.

Only the urge to be close.

This urge has been plaguing Seokjin a lot lately.

When Jungkook curled his arm around Seokjin’s waist, Seokjin just decided to stop fighting and leaned back against Jungkook’s broad chest. No one will probably find it too weird, should they see this clip. If anything, they’ll dismiss it as two brothers being sweet.

And that wasn’t far off from the truth… right?

Jungkook was sifting through the puzzle pieces with his free hand. “Ah, Kimi No Nawa.”

“Yeah.” The puzzle was supposed to form a scene from the Japanese film Kimi No Nawa, or Your Name, as it was internationally known. They’d watched that movie in the cinema, because it was released back when they weren’t that big yet, and they could still get away with that kind of thing. “I love that movie.”

“I know. Me, too.”

Seokjin knew that, too. They spent days gushing over it, and even penned down a timeline, just like they did with Doctor Who. “Timey-wimey stuff are the best.”

“I agree.”

As Jungkook started to put together the remaining puzzle pieces, Seokjin started singing his favorite song from the film’s soundtrack, Nandemonaiya. He was close to fluent in Japanese, so the foreign words flowed past his lips naturally.

‘The wind that blew past the space between us brought loneliness from somewhere far off…’

His voice hit every note with ease. It wasn’t a particularly difficult song for his vocal range.

Jungkook joined him in singing the chorus, still sliding puzzle pieces across the table. His voice vibrated in his chest and Seokjin could feel it within himself, too.

‘We're time flyers! Time-scaling climbers! We're sick of being left out of time's game of hide-and-seek!’

When their voices petered out after the last line of the chorus, Seokjin turned his head to look at Jungkook and in Japanese said, “I just realized the lyrics are very complex.”

“Japanese lyrics tend to be, don’t they?” Jungkook asked, in the same language. Of course, he was fluent enough to compose songs in Japanese, so speaking it was also easy for him. Jungkook paused. “Is there a reason we’re conversing in Japanese?”

“To give our translators a hard time.”

Jungkook laughed.

Seokjin shifted around on Jungkook’s lap, making himself more comfortable. “Will you be able to write a Japanese song this complex?”

“I think I’m going to need to study the language some more.” As if to prove his point, Jungkook went back to speaking Korean. “And come up with a very specific story as inspiration. Kimi No Nawa is certainly a masterpiece.”

“Definitely.” Seokjin let his head loll against Jungkook’s shoulder and stared at the ceiling. “What if that happened to us? What if we were stuck in separate worlds, never to see each other again?” He sat straighter, struck with a realization. Shifting around on Jungkook’ s lap, Seokjin hooked an arm around Jungkook’s neck. “Jungkook-ah! It’s kind of like Ten and Rose on that beach in Doctor Who.”

Jungkook’s attention was derailed from the puzzle as he looked at Seokjin, eyes bright. “Oh, you’re right! They even have that moment… that moment where they’re in the same place, just different dimensions.”

“The best love stories have tragedies in them,” Seokjin said thoughtfully.

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Jungkook was frowning. “I maintain that there could’ve been a way for them to have it all without that drama. For example, in Kimi No Nawa, I would definitely just tell you my name instead of other cheesy nonsense.”

Seokjin blew a raspberry. “You have no romantic bone in your body.”

“I’m efficient, is what I am. If I want it, I’ll get it. If the odds are already stacked against me, why would I risk it at the most crucial moment? That would just be silly.”

Well, that’s Jeon Jungkook for you.

But Seokjin wasn’t done debating. “Then what about in Doctor Who? If the Tenth Doctor and Rose Tyler had never been separated, they wouldn’t have that line. You know.” Dramatically, Seokjin recited, “I’m burning up a sun just to say goodbye.”

“That’s a damn good line,” Jungkook admitted.

“There’s no topping it,” Seokjin declared.

“I mean, he could have just said he loved her…”

“God, don’t remind me, I’m forever going to be haunted by that unfinished sentence. ‘Rose Tyler, I—’? If he’d just said it a second earlier—!”

“I know, right? Both films are frustrating in that regard. If they’d just said what they needed to say when they had to say it, then there’d be a lot less grief.” Jungkook sounded genuinely unimpressed.

Seokjin scrutinized his face. “You think it’s that easy?”

Jungkook met his gaze. After a strangely charged moment in which time seemed to slow down, he looked away. “I admit that it isn’t always.”

“See.” Seokjin’s heartbeat was uneven. He had no idea what he was fighting for anymore.

“It’s just there are times where it’s easier to let moments pass,” Jungkook stressed. “It has nothing to do with…”

“What?” And now Seokjin had no idea what Jungkook was fighting for anymore.

“Guts or whatever.” Jungkook returned to fussing over the puzzle. “Sincerity. Just because you don’t say it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true.”

Seokjin was thinking about the Doctor and Rose Tyler, who had been clearly in love, but were separated into two different universes before they could confess to it. “And just because you say it doesn’t mean you get a happy ending. That sun would still burn up, the holes in the wall would still close up, and then… the end. You’re on one side, she’s on the other. Would it have been better, then, if she knew for sure that he loved her? Or would it have been better if it was left unspoken?”

Jungkook was back to staring at Seokjin. “You tell me. If you were Rose, would you rather have known? If it was your last chance, would you rather learn the truth? Even if you’re doomed in the end.”

And that Seokjin had to think about. He imagined standing on a wide, empty beach, far from the home he’d known, stuck in an alternate universe that looked familiar, except everything was different. People that looked like the members would be there, except they wouldn’t be the six idiots he’d grown up with over the past decade. They would have the same face, but not the same shared experiences.

And he imagined seeing a familiar figure materializing across from him — just a hologram, a projection from the world he’d come from. Same empty beach, but different dimensions. Time was ticking. Knowing that it would be the last time they would ever see each other, what would Seokjin want to hear?

If that figure was Jungkook… if that figure was his Jungkook and he was disappearing soon, never to be seen ever again… leaving Seokjin behind in a foreign world…

“I would want to know,” Seokjin answered softly. “I would want to hear that he loves me.” Just one last time. Just a simple ‘Jin-hyung, saranghae’ would do. Seokjin would take the memory to his grave.

He didn’t question himself why it was Jungkook he’d envisioned. Didn’t dare look into the reason why it was Jungkook he’d want to see one last time should he find himself permanently forced away from home.

Or why he wanted to hear those words from him, out of all the countless words he could have asked for.

Therein lay madness.

“I see,” Jungkook murmured.

Do you, Seokjin wanted to ask. What exactly do you see?

He himself wasn’t sure.

But he didn’t dare voice that. Instead, he crossed his arms and said, “I’m sad now. I can’t believe you made me put myself in Rose’s shoes. I’m heartbroken.”

Chuckling, Jungkook tightened his arms around Seokjin’s waist and squeezed the breath out of him mercilessly. Once he’d loosened his hold, Jungkook said, “C’mon, hyung, let’s finish this puzzle and find something else to do.”

“Don’t want to, I’m too sad.” After turning over their conversation in his head, Seokjin asked, “If I were the one stuck in that parallel universe, would you have burned up a sun just to say goodbye to me?”

“I would have burned up all the suns to get you back to me.” Jungkook answered simply, so simply. As if he didn’t care that his words could wreck Seokjin.

Blushing, Seokjin could only say, “Oh.” And then, because he couldn’t let it go: “And if I were the one stuck in another timeline because of weird comet stuff—”

“I’d find you.”

“Really? You’d go through all that? Travel that far?” Seokjin’s heart couldn’t take much more of this. It was jumping every which way.

“Nothing’s too far for me.” How could Jungkook sit there and play with puzzles and say those words as if they were nothing?

“What about,” and this Seokjin just had to know, “what about if I were lost in the woods and I couldn’t get out because I’m lost and I keep going in circles?”

Jungkook glanced at him, clearly baffled by the line of questioning. “I just told you I’d travel through space and time to find you. Some woods are nothing.”

“So you’ll come?” Seokjin pressed. “What if the woods were enchanted to never let me or anyone else out, you’d still come?”

“Of course.” And then Jungkook smirked. “But I do expect a hug when I finally get to you.”

Well, there was no need to wait for that imaginary scenario to play out. Seokjin twisted around and gave Jungkook a big hug, wrapping his arms around his neck.

Jungkook didn’t seem to be expecting it, but he hugged back with a quick laugh. “What did you think I’d do?! Just let you rot there?”

“Yeah, and then you'll steal all my computer games.” Seokjin rested his cheek against Jungkook’s hair. The leftover anxiety that had been clinging to him since that dream fell away.

“But then who would I play with? You’re ridiculous, hyung.” Jungkook patted Seokjin’s back. “As thanks for my heroism and generosity, you should sing Sparkle for me.”

Sparkle. From Kimi No Nawa. He could do that.

Seokjin pulled away, made himself comfortable in Jungkook’s lap again, and started to sing.

‘It seems this world still wants to keep me on a close leash; but that's just how I want it — I struggle so beautifully…’

And he kept singing, with Jungkook joining him in some parts, as they pieced together the picture that painted comets across the starry night sky while two people fell in love on the stretch of grass below.

In Seokjin’s opinion, it was time well spent.

Chapter Text

Passing time wasn’t actually that difficult. It was easy to keep Seokjin and Jungkook entertained, especially when they were together — even without all the games provided to them, they would have been fine. They would have swung between chatting endlessly or sitting in companionable silence.

But singing was something they could do all day and every day so that was what they did. After they finished the puzzle, they powered up the karaoke and got to it.

Seokjin never thought he’d get into singing — having it as a career never even crossed his mind until he was asked to perform a song when he first auditioned for Big Hit. And even when he was taken on as an idol trainee, he kept his goal of becoming an actor at the back of his mind.

But studying voice and dance from scratch was both torturous and illuminating — he realized that it could be fun, if he could just get it right.

Still, it took time. It took years of hard work and consistent efforts for Seokjin to be able to stand on stage and feel like he belonged there. He wasn’t like Jungkook, who was born gifted with everything. Seokjin’s one edge was his good looks, and the rest he slaved for.

Even now, his voice wasn’t perfect, and his body still moved awkwardly. But the members and his fans refused to let him feel down about that. And the more he realized that he could touch people’s hearts simply by being himself, the more confident he felt.

It was a long, tedious struggle, one that would probably last a lifetime, but for now, Seokjin believed he was in a good place. Only select people’s opinions should matter to him anyway.

Case in point, Jungkook was smiling at him proudly as he crooned out a classic Korean ballad. Seokjin felt like he was on top of the world.

When he was done, he waved at Jungkook to go ahead and flopped down on the couch, placing his mic beside him.

“It’s a classics kind of day,” Jungkook declared, perusing the numerous song choices. “Found an English one, international ARMYs would probably know this.” Lifting his head, he glanced at the nearest camera and gave it a finger heart.

“Do you think the cameras are running?” Seokjin wondered.

“I mean, they’re moving, so I just assumed,” Jungkook replied. “But I keep forgetting about them.”

“Same. These clips probably won’t be used, anyway,” Seokjin said. At least he didn’t think so. Neither of them were being particularly entertaining. “It would be a boring show.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook started inputting some numbers in the machine. Seconds later, the very familiar intro of Bruno Mars’ Just The Way You Are was playing. Jungkook raised his mic and started to sing, his beautiful voice flooding the room.

Seokjin was baffled at the song choice, but sat and enjoyed the performance. He couldn’t help the smile when Jungkook pointed at him when singing the chorus: ‘When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change…’

And then, further into the song, he noticed that Jungkook was changing all the ‘she’ to ‘you’ and ‘her’ to ‘your.’

But it was only when Jungkook danced his way towards Seokjin and started putting on a show for him that he felt self-conscious.

To his horror, when Jungkook reached the chorus again, he tapped Seokjin under the chin and sang: ‘And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while…’

Shyness hit Seokjin like a truck, and he averted his gaze, willing the stupid song to end soon. He was blushing to his ears, and based on the smugness in Jungkook’s voice as he trotted away, he’d noticed.

When the song was over, the only thing Seokjin could think of to say was, “I think you need to clarify how you define ‘classics.’ I was thinking like ‘70s, or even early 2000s…”

Jungkook began to cackle.

“I feel the generation gap, seriously,” Seokjin complained. Internally, he was trying to calm his body down, or at least lower his temperature. How embarrassing.

“Your face is a classic.”

His heart threatened to do cartwheels again. “You calling me old?”

“I think you need to clarify how you define ‘classic.’”

Seokjin pointedly grabbed his phone and flipped it open. In the dictionary app, he typed the word in question and clicked search. He read the definition out loud. “Judged over a period of time to be of the highest quality and outstanding of its kind.”

“Bruno Mars is outstanding,” Jungkook argued. “This is a 2010 song. Ten years is a long time!”

“Well, I won’t argue with that.” Scrolling down some more, he recited, “Synonyms: First-class.”

“I told you, your face.”

Cheeks hot, Seokjin ignored him and continued. “Timeless—”

“Like I said.”

“Vintage.”

Jungkook paused. “There’s more than one way to use the word ‘classic’! But fine. I’ll look for another song.”

Seokjin wasn’t sure if he won that, but he was satisfied enough. He put down his phone and relaxed back on the sofa as Jungkook jabbed at the machine, having chosen his next song.

It turned out to be a proper classic: Faithfully by Journey. Seokjin’s mother used to sing it a lot in the karaoke, to the point where Seokjin knew it word for word. It was a song that he personally loved, too, so he couldn’t help but get caught up in it.

As expected, Jungkook gave justice to it. When he got to the chorus, he pointed at Seokjin and sang, ‘Right down the line it’s been you and me.’

Seokjin smiled at him, unsure why he was feeling so… mushy.

He didn’t resist when Jungkook grabbed his hand and pulled him to his feet after the chorus.

Picking up his mic, Seokjin obligingly sang the second verse, pitching his voice just that bit higher, automatically turning it into a duet. Jungkook joined him at the chorus, his voice twining with Seokjin’s seamlessly.

They always did have the best harmonization together.

But this song was actually pushing their vocals, because Jungkook didn’t think to lower the key, and Seokjin had raised his pitch from the get-go — the music was building up, and the notes were only about to go higher. It was soft rock, too, so settling for head voices and falsettos wasn’t the way to go.

Hilariously, they ended up having to give it their all.

Jungkook gazed at him and sang, ‘Oh, boy, you stand by me,’ and Seokjin gazed back at him and sang, ‘I’m forever yours…” He held the last note long and steady, letting his vibrato take over at the end. ‘Faithfully.’

As the guitar and drum solo came on, Jungkook asked in anticipation, “Okay, Jin, you ready?”

Seokjin pushed back some hair out of his eyes. “We’re gonna mess this up and shred our throats in the process.”

Jungkook snickered. “But it will be fun.”

The drumbeat picked up, gearing up for the finale. “Okay,” Seokjin said, starting to move his body to the beat, lightly bobbing his head. “Let’s go.”

Mirroring his movements, Jungkook went head to head and eye to eye with him like they did in concerts. And then they started singing together, Seokjin going high, Jungkook going low: ‘Woah, oh, oh…’

‘Faithfully!’ Jungkook belted out.

Seokjin cried out, ‘I’m still yours!’

They were feeling this too much. The air was charged with electricity.

‘Forever yours…’

But as with everything, it did have to end. As the music slowed down, they, too, wound down and finished the song with a soft and perfectly harmonized: ‘...faithfully.’

With the last note lingering in the air, they high-fived, delighted and proud.

And then Seokjin released a loud breath and admitted, “We probably sounded like dying cows.”

The force of Jungkook’s laughter had him bending over and slapping his knee.

But not even embarrassing himself in front of cameras that may or may not be working could ruin Seokjin’s good mood. Now that he was fully in a singing mindset, he wanted to keep going.

He headed over to the karaoke machine and scoured through the list of songs for a duet. Spotting Shallow, a favorite of the whole group ever since they watched A Star Is Born, he put it on.

“Kookie, sing this with me,” he said, stepping back to stand beside Jungkook.

“Gladly.” Jungkook bounced on his toes. “I love this song.”

Their voices suited it, too. Well, Jungkook’s voice suited everything, but Seokjin’s in particular fit Lady Gaga’s range. And this song was carried by belting, and that was his thing.

It was fun. Singing good songs with good company was fun. They easily passed time this way, just singing and having fun. And inevitably, they moved on to their own songs. They sang Love Maze, then Heartbeat.

At some point, Jungkook showed off his versatile skills by singing N.O., one of their oldest songs. Jungkook had an entire rap verse there, and he even perfectly rapped Yoongi’s part. Seokjin was impressed, even though he shouldn’t be. He’d already known that Jungkook was good at everything, including rap.

Seokjin prowled around the living room, restless with pent-up energy. As he paced past a wall, a movement caught his eye, and he glanced at a camera, startled. It was on face-level, at least for his height. Playfully, he stepped left and right and back and forth, letting it follow him.

Jungkook was singing the chorus now, and it was catchy — all their songs were catchy, at least for Seokjin. His foot was already tapping along with the beat.

They should be entertaining, shouldn’t they? That was their job after all.

So Seokjin positioned himself properly in front of the camera and, without further ado, started dancing. Not all out — in fact Hoseok would call it lazy dancing — but at least with ease. These were movements his body already knew.

‘We roll, we roll…’

He’d learned this choreography over eight years ago, but it was a classic that they’d never really forget. Especially not Seokjin. After all, he toiled over their dances more than anyone else.

When the chorus passed and Seokjin was dancing to the refrain — ‘A good house, a good car, will these things bring happiness?’ — he realized that Jungkook was no longer singing and it was his own voice he was hearing.

He stopped abruptly, glancing over his shoulder to find Jungkook watching him, head tilted curiously, and expression fond.

“I found a camera,” Seokjin explained, ears tingling with heat. Why was he embarrassed? It was just Jungkook. They’d seen each other do worse things. He was just dancing, damn it. Not well, but he hadn't been thinking about that.

Jungkook didn’t say ‘Duh,’ or even ‘I can see that.’ He just indulgently said, “Nice.” And then, “Well? Keep going.”

Seokjin crossed his arms, shuffled his feet. “No, I don’t want to anymore. I was just messing around.”

“Just do it.”

“I forgot the steps.”

“Liar. Pretty sure you’re the one who remembers our choreographies the most. You keep winning Run episodes when the games are about our dances.”

That’s because I obsessively watch our dance practice videos and music videos to look for areas for improvement over my dancing, he wanted to say. Or simply when I’m feeling particularly mean and self-deprecating to myself.

But that would just upset Jungkook, so he didn’t.

“Say, what would you say our hardest choreo is?” Jungkook asked suddenly.

“Huh?” Seokjin took a moment to think about it. “ON.” They all pretty much agreed on that.

“Yeah, for me, too.” Jungkook spun around and headed to the karaoke machine. Seokjin watched bemused as Jungkook pressed buttons, and wasn’t really surprised when ON started playing.

“You gonna sing all that?” Seokjin challenged.

“I’ll sing ‘til my lungs shrivel up and die,” Jungkook shot back. “It’s my life mission, yeobo!”

Smiling reluctantly, Seokjin just said, “I know.”

“But please sing your parts,” Jungkook added sheepishly.

Seokjin rolled his eyes.

When the time came for Jungkook to sing, he did so while dancing towards Seokjin, managing to mimic Jimin’s moves, but without the extra flair.

There’s no getting sick of watching him, Seokjin thought to himself, eyes tracking the way Jungkook moved his body. Seemingly effortless. Endlessly graceful. Precisely powerful.

Jungkook had ditched the mic, not that he needed it — they were trained professionals so volume wasn’t an issue. When he opened his mouth, his voice came out steady and clear and beautiful. He stopped beside Seokjin, his focus on the camera, which was his audience for now.

Meanwhile, Seokjin was just his fan. He watched, enraptured.

But Jungkook didn’t let him be a bystander for long. Of course not — he always wanted to have Seokjin there, beside him, shining just as bright. Pausing in his performance, Jungkook urged, “Your part is coming. Do it, okay? And don’t half-ass it like you’ve been doing.”

What was his part again?

“Hey, na-na-na,” Jungkook sang, tugging Seokjin until he was standing right in front of the camera again. “Gotta go insane to stay sane…”

Right. Seokjin got into position.

A slow smile spread on Jungkook’s face as he continued to sing, eyes on Seokjin. “Hey, na-na-na… Throw myself whole into both worlds…”

Seokjin started to move. And as requested, he didn’t half-ass it.

“Can't hold me down 'cause you know I'm a fighter...” He looked at the camera dead on as he danced, his on stage persona taking over as if it were instinct. “Carried myself into this beautiful prison…”

Jin and Seokjin weren’t totally different people. One was just braver and more shameless.

In a movement perfected by hours of practice, Seokjin made a spin, followed by a jump, arms crossing over his chest as if to coil himself tight—

“Find me and I’m gonna live with you!”

And he exploded in a flurry of movement. His body hit every beat in the chorus, and he spared a moment to marvel at how different dancing felt now compared to when he’d just gotten started. It still kind of felt like he was forcing limbs to abide by rules he’d never heard of before, but at least now he knew said rules and was learning to work with them, if not overcome them.

It felt better. No less difficult, but better.

“Bring it, bring the pain, oh yeah…”

His body slowed down as the tempo did. Beside him, Jungkook was clapping happily. Like a seal.

He probably thinks I’m done, Seokjin thought mischievously. Of course he does. After all, I never studied this next bit because I’m not in it.

Or at least that was what he probably thought.

Raising an eyebrow cockily at the camera, Seokjin started dancing along to Hoseok’s part. His solo part.

‘Bring the pain. It'll become my blood and flesh.’

It wasn’t actually that difficult, but Hoseok’s body moved with a groove that Seokjin could never imitate — so he imitated his expressions instead. He was good at that — he’d studied to be an actor after all.

“Wait, what?” Jungkook sounded so baffled.

Seokjin smirked. He was having fun now.

So he did Yoongi’s part, too, which required less dancing and more expressing himself as the badass rapper that he was. More acting. Seokjin could do that. This time, it wasn’t thanks to his degree, but to all that time he spent as Yoongi’s roommate. Seokjin had all his mannerisms down pat, every habitual gesture, every type of grimace.

‘Even if my knees drop to the ground, as long as they don't get buried, it won't matter.’

“What is going on!” Jungkook exclaimed, and Seokjin finally broke character and laughed.

He stopped dancing. He didn’t know the next parts anyhow.

“How do you know those parts?” Jungkook’s eyes were sparkling, but there was confusion in his expression. “That was so cool!”

Seokjin used both hands to rake his fringe off his face. He was feeling rather warm now. “Hobi is my idol in dance,” he confessed. “Whenever I practice dancing by myself, I spend a portion of that time trying to imitate him during his parts. Don’t tell him.” He gave the camera a side-eye. “That’s our secret.”

“Why did you never show us?” Jungkook was still astonished. He was staring at Seokjin as if he’d never seen him before. “We practiced ON so much a couple of months ago for the concerts but you never showed us, why—”

“Because I can’t imitate him,” Seokjin stated, making it clear he thought Jungkook was being obtuse. “I just look ridiculous.”

“What do you mean, you did so great! And no one can imitate Hobi, not even me.”

“No one can imitate Hobi,” Seokjin agreed. “Or Jimin. Sometimes when I watch them I never want to dance ever again, like why do I even try…”

Jungkook cocked his head. “What about me?” he demanded.

Of course he’d ask.

In his good mood, Seokjin felt compelled to be honest. “You’re one of the best dancers out there, but you’re not scary. When you dance, you make me want to dance, too.”

“Really?” Jungkook pondered this for a bit, then smiled, pleased. “Dance with me, then.”

“Is that not what we’re doing?”

But Jungkook was already walking away, going back to the machine. Seokjin watched him poke around the song choices before punching in numbers.

The piano intro of So Close by Jon McLaughlin came on, instantly changing the atmosphere in the room. Seokjin watched Jungkook return to him, confused.

Jungkook was disinclined to answer Seokjin’s unspoken question. He just grabbed Seokjin’s hands, gripping one in his fingers and placing the other on his shoulder.

“What,” Seokjin finally asked, remaining still as Jungkook tried to lead them. “Waltz?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook tried to drag him along. “Come on, hyung, move.”

Seokjin knew how to dance the waltz because his mother had taught him when he was in high school. He decided to indulge this.

But when he took a step forward, Jungkook did too, and they crashed against each other, heads knocking.

“Ow,” Seokjin complained.

“You’re supposed to step backwards,” Jungkook pressed.

“Why are you leading?”

“Because. I’m the one who invited you to dance.”

They simultaneously tried to move again, but they were both stubborn, trying to take charge, so they just bumped against each other again.

“Jin.”

“Jungkook.”

“Just— just let me—”

Seokjin relented. They were wasting too much time on this. Already, the first part of the song was over and done with.

So when the music intensified and hit the second verse, Seokjin caved and took a step back just as Jungkook stepped forward.

“There we go,” Jungkook said, pleased as they fell into a synchronized rhythm. He adjusted his grip on Seokjin’s hand, and wound his other arm high up on Seokjin’s back.

Reflexively, Seokjin straightened his posture, and he began to take the dance more seriously. They swayed together, letting the music reign over the silence.

Jungkook was extremely close.

And then when the chorus hit, he moved even closer, taking larger steps as they spun in a slow circle, forcing Seokjin to follow.

‘So close to reaching that famous happy ending…’

Their gazes met and held. Seokjin’s mouth was suddenly dry. He stared back at Jungkook as they moved across the room as if in a trance, the air between them tightening with tension.

It only mellowed when the instrumental came on, and Jungkook spun Seokjin around, putting more space between them.

“Let’s try a dip,” Jungkook suggested.

“Absolutely not,” Seokjin said immediately. “You’ll drop me.”

“I won’t!” As if to prove his point, he spun Seokjin around again. “When did I ever drop you?”

“Have you ever done a dip before?”

“No…”

“Then no.”

“But I want to try it!”

“And I want to remain uninjured,” Seokjin said pointedly.

Jungkook tugged him closer, wrapping his arm around Seokjin’s back tighter, his hold solid and strong. “I won’t drop you, I promise. You weigh like a feather.”

Seokjin was certain that he didn’t, but it was ridiculous to argue when he could feel Jungkook’s muscled figure against his front. Jungkook could bench press twice, maybe even thrice his weight; perhaps a dip wasn’t too unreasonable a request.

The song had reached the bridge. If there was a right time for it, it was now.

Lifting a hand to pinch Jungkook’s cheek hard, Seokjin threatened, “If you drop me, I’m going to drink all your banana milk.”

Eyes lighting up, Jungkook merely said, “Okay!”

They shuffled a bit, giggling, as they tried to figure out how to go about it, but finally, Jungkook spun Seokjin one more time and Seokjin let himself lean back and let go of his weight.

As promised, Jungkook caught him, arm steady and strong under Seokjin’s back. He dipped Seokjin lower, and this time, Seokjin felt no fear.

Their position had the effect of having Seokjin suspended mid-air with Jungkook hovering over him. Their faces were close enough that Seokjin could see Jungkook’s eyelashes in detail; close enough to have his heartbeat racing double time.

Jungkook was murmuring along to the lyrics of the song, his breath reaching Seokjin’s lips.

‘Oh, how could I face the faceless days…’

Out of instinct more than anything, Seokjin reached up and rested his hand on Jungkook’s neck, fighting the inexplicable urge to tug down. For what? Could they be any closer?

Apparently, they could, because Jungkook slowly pulled Seokjin up to rights, and once Seokjin was back on his feet, Jungkook kept them pressed together, wrapping a tight arm around Seokjin’s waist.

‘...if I should lose you now?’

Seokjin braced an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders, and then they started moving again, captivated by the music and each other.

Do people dance so closely like this? They were chest to chest, stomach to stomach. Seokjin could feel the thump of Jungkook’s heart across their ribs. It was just as fast as his own.

Jungkook leaned in until his cheek was pressed against the side of Seokjin’s head, lips hovering over his ear. “Let’s go on dreaming,” he sang softly, “though I know we are…”

The song wound down and Jungkook slowed their pace, dropping Seokjin’s hand so he could wrap his other arm around him. Seokjin perched his chin over Jungkook’s shoulder and hooked his arms around Jungkook’s back, feeling secure.

“So close… so close… and still so far.”

They drew apart as the last notes of the music fell away. Seokjin felt as if he were waking up from a dream, except he’d never had a dream quite like this. He blinked, trying to dispel the strange air.

And then all of a sudden, they were back on planet Earth, and things felt unbearably awkward. Seokjin couldn’t meet Jungkook’s eyes; his palms were sweating again.

Jungkook cleared his throat, but his voice still cracked when he spoke. “I’m uh, I don’t know about you but I’m hungry.”

Seokjin jumped at the opening. “Yeah, definitely hungry, starving, let’s go.”

Chapter Text

They migrated to the kitchen, shaking off the tension in the air. It was easier to do once the food was in sight.

“Good thing I went on a cooking spree,” Seokjin commented, lifting himself up to sit on the kitchen island, nibbling on yet another hotteok.

Jungkook leaned back against the counter across from him, hands clutching a bowl of bulgogi and rice. He dug in and spoke with his mouth full. “You should eat an actual meal.”

“In a bit. I’m working myself up to it.” He was both hungry and queasy right now. The cooking spree did a number on his appetite.

The karaoke was playing a song they’d left in line after So Close. It was Spring Day.

“A classic,” Seokjin declared, kicking his feet, which weren’t touching the ground. Singing in time for the chorus, he trilled out, “Snowflakes fall down, and fall apart little by little...” He pressed the tips of his fingers to his lips and sent Jungkook a flying kiss, his trademark move. “I miss you.”

Jungkook immediately grabbed his chest and jerked his body like he’d been shot, bowing his head dramatically. “I miss you.” He was playing along, as usual.

With a grin, Seokjin finished the rest of his hotteok.

He’d just wiped his fingers with a paper towel when Jungkook approached, raising his chopsticks with a beef strip between them. “Try this.”

Seokjin made a face.

“Just one bite.” Jungkook pressed the meat right to Seokjin’s lips, which left him no choice. Seokjin opened his mouth and accepted the food, and was pleasantly surprised when it tasted good. After swallowing and considering it for another moment, he said, “Okay, I’m seriously hungry.”

“I knew it.” Jungkook stepped back and gripped Seokjin by the elbow as he hopped off the island. “This can be early dinner. It’s like, almost 5 p.m., I think. Or 6?”

That was actually rather late. Where did the day go?

Seokjin and Jungkook moved the tupperwares of food from the counter to the island table, and they huddled around them and ate straight from the containers, all while standing up. Normally, they would at least try to be civilized and sit down on the dinner table with bowls and stuff, but tonight there were no rules.

It would be a drag to wash dishes, anyway.

“This is actually good,” Seokjin said around a mouthful of tteokbokki.

“You cooked it,” Jungkook pointed out, taking a sip of Chilsung he’d taken from the refrigerator.

“I wasn’t myself when I did.”

Jungkook snorted and then coughed painfully when the drink presumably grated on his throat. “Ow.”

Seokjin perched an elbow on the table and watched Jungkook pound his chest with a reluctant smile, wondering why the sight was so endearing. The karaoke machine was silent now, so Seokjin could clearly hear the hacking, which was kind of gross, actually. Jungkook could be so stupid sometimes. But at least he had the consideration to turn away so he wouldn’t cough on the food.

When Jungkook was back to breathing normally, Seokjin asked, “Are your lungs still in there?” And Jungkook was sent into a giggling fit, which led to another coughing fit.

This time, Seokjin couldn’t help but laugh with him.

He wished they could have more days like this.

—

Wanting to end their night on a sweet note, they made smores and huddled in front of the fireplace so they could pretend they toasted the marshmallows on fire themselves.

“How are they, do you think?” Seokjin asked, when they were settled in front of the flames. “The members.”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Jungkook said, sounding sure. “They’re with Namjoon-hyung.”

To Jungkook, Namjoon would probably always be a hero. Seokjin couldn’t blame him for thinking that. Seokjin believed the same thing himself.

“I guess,” Seokjin said. “I’m 99.9 percent sure they didn’t try driving after us, so they’re probably staying at a motel somewhere… it’s just that the radio silence is really weird. We’ve never been this cut off before. It’s making me a bit restless.”

“That’s okay. That makes sense. But I’m sure that the moment they’re able, they’ll be making their way to us. It’s just not possible right now.”

Seokjin nodded. He already had the exact same thoughts, but it was nice hearing them out loud. Reassuring.

Letting his worries go for now, Seokjin picked up a smore from the plate they’d set on the ground and took a bite. It was delicious. Definitely an indulgence.

Satisfied, Seokjin made himself more comfortable on the floor and idly watched the flames, which glazed the shadowy room in a warm, orange haze. Time was trickling by as slow as syrup. Seokjin thought this was what Hansel and Gretel must have felt like when they were being fed all the sweets in the world, not knowing that they were being lulled into their deaths.

Out of nowhere, Jungkook asked, “Do you remember when we first met?”

Seokjin blinked and looked over at him in surprise. “Of course,” he answered after a beat. “I was 20, you were 15 — I should be asking if you remember when we first met. Early memories are hazy.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I was a teenager, not a newborn baby. Of course I remember.”

Snickering, Seokjin asked, “Why bring it up? It’s been what, ten years? More. Coming up at eleven this spring.”

Eyes roving over Seokjin’s face, Jungkook shrugged. “It’s just that I look at you sometimes and realize you’ve changed so much, but also not at all. Your features are still the same, just more mature. You even still have hints of your pre-puberty self—”

“Please don’t bring up those horrid photos ever again.” It will forever be a thorn in Seokjin’s side that his photos from his exchange program in Australia will always be floating in the internet forever.

Jungkook snorted. “I have to. They must never die.” He took a sip of his hot milk before putting the mug back down. “I’ve said this in an interview before, a long, long time ago...”

That sounded ominous. “What?”

“Before I met you in Seoul, I didn’t think beautiful people really existed outside of movies.”

Oh. Well, that was a bit out of left field. Seokjin rolled his eyes, unsure if he should be flattered or self-conscious. But Jungkook was right, he’d already said something like that before.

“I’m serious,” Jungkook insisted. “You have that intimidating kind of beauty.”

That surprised Seokjin. He never thought of his looks as particularly striking, but rather more traditional. And his face was on the side of soft, with an oval shape and rounded cheeks, a sort of peaceful harmony among the rest of the features. “Really? I don’t think so. And fans say I’m cute. Isn’t that my image?”

“Your image is curated by millions around the world, most of whom have never ever seen you in person,” Jungkook pointed out. “I feel bad for them sometimes, because while they call you Worldwide Handsome, they won’t really understand until they see you in real life.”

Seokjin had to wonder where Jungkook was going with this. As much as Jungkook loved teasing Seokjin and getting on his nerves, he’d always been generous with praise. But this much unprovoked compliment was out of the ordinary.

Especially given the strange undercurrent in Jungkook’s voice. Like he’d been holding these words in, and he hadn’t even come close to the point yet.

“You’re handsome, too,” Seokjin told him, not knowing what else to say and wanting to redirect the conversation. “All of you guys are.”

“But no one in the world is as handsome as you.” Jungkook was stubbornly clinging to this line of thought.

“You’re biased,” Seokjin stated, completely sure about that. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that.

“Maybe,” Jungkook allowed. “Does it make it any less true?”

Seokjin frowned, confused by the question. Can one be biased and truthful at the same time? Where did objectivity come into play? “Don’t make me think right now.”

Jungkook laughed. “Does everything have to be an argument with you? Can’t you just accept the things I tell you?”

“Not when it’s not true.”

“But it’s true. You know I idolized Namjoon-hyung before I met him, right?”

Seokjin popped another smore in his mouth. “Of course.” It was a story he’d heard a million times by now.

“When I first saw him in person, I thought he was so cool. I wanted to talk to him endlessly, I wanted to learn from him.”

Nodding, Seokjin swallowed the snack and washed it down with his hot drink. “I know.”

“But when I saw you I was terrified for my life.”

Sending Jungkook an incredulous look, Seokjin barked out a laugh. “What?”

“I couldn’t speak, I didn’t know what to do. I was so self-conscious. I couldn’t meet your eyes, but I wanted to keep looking at you,” Jungkook confessed, looking oddly earnest. “It was weird.”

Seokjin stared at Jungkook without seeing him, lost in memory. He’d met Jungkook in a practice studio in 2011, and he remembered thinking he was a cute kid, with his big, googly eyes. So young, so quiet, so shy. They didn’t even manage a conversation then. He remembered that Jungkook kept staring at him, but would only answer with curt one-liners and didn’t make an effort to keep the exchange flowing.

At the time, Seokjin dismissed it as a case of a punk kid not wanting to speak with an older guy. Whatever, he’d thought to himself. No skin off my nose.

Funny, really, how life turns out sometimes.

“So many things are making sense right now,” Seokjin marveled. “I thought you just didn’t like me!”

“I did!” Jungkook stressed. “I thought you were so funny and witty and smart! But it wasn’t easy being around you. The bodily response was automatic — you’d walk in and suddenly, I just couldn’t move and I couldn’t talk.”

Seokjin had to laugh again, amazed and just a tiny bit disbelieving. “You make it sound like I was some kind of god back then. I was just an awkward guy barely past his teens who happened to have been born with somewhat pleasing features. I’m much better-looking at present.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“But,” Seokjin hesitated, “I’m getting older, you know.”

“I know that, too.”

“I’m 31.”

“Yes, I was there during your endless birthday celebrations.”

Seokjin wordlessly wiggled his toes, not sure what he wanted to say, or even what he wanted to hear from Jungkook, only knowing there was something.

Before he could figure it out, Jungkook said, “It doesn’t matter, you know.”

After chewing the inside of his bottom lip, Seokjin asked, “Doesn’t it?” Sometimes, the ticking of the clock felt like a noose tightening around his neck. The big ‘3’ in his age was a damning reminder that he’d already burned through his youth. Soon, he’d also burn through his body.

Where would he be once he was no longer handsome?

Thoughtfully, Jungkook said, “You know how… when a face becomes so familiar, it becomes a source of comfort, kinda? Because their looks reflect who they are as a person?”

Seokjin tried to understand, but fell short. He wondered where Jungkook was going with this. “Expound some more.”

Jungkook gestured vaguely. “You know, like… if Jimin had a different face, he wouldn’t be Jimin. Or Hobi wouldn’t be Hobi if he had a different face. Get it?”

Confused, Seokjin said, “You just got used to our faces.”

“No, no. Okay, just picture Yoongi-hyung’s face right now.”

“Okay.” Seokjin decided to go along with him. “Adorable.”

“Right. He’s adorable. But we didn’t think that in the beginning, right? But now there’s no other way to think about him, even though he literally has the same face he had when we first met him. Now when I look at him, I think, of course this is Yoongi’s face. It’s very Yoongi.”

And Seokjin was lost again. He shook his head. “I am seriously not getting what you’re trying to say.”

“He gains weight around his cheeks easily, but drops it just as quickly. We see him go from puffy to slim to chiseled multiple times in a single year. Doesn’t affect what we think of him.”

Wasn’t this a given? Seokin had seen every member in their ugliest state. “Uh-huh.”

Jungkook seemed agitated now, as if he could tell that Seokjin still wasn’t understanding what he was trying to say. “We’ve met many beautiful people in the span of our career so far,” he said, a strange non-sequitur.

“Uh-huh,” Seokjin again said, slowly this time.

“Sometimes, they’re flawless and all, but then I talk to them, and the next day, I completely forget them.”

How blunt of him. Seokjin glanced at the cameras warily. “Should you be saying this…”

“I’m trying to make a point!” Jungkook shifted restlessly.

“You’re taking your sweet time getting to it.”

Jungkook sighed, clearly aggrieved. He lifted a hand and gestured all over Seokjin’s face. “When I look at you, I think, this is Seokjin. Perfect face. It should be boring and forgettable, but it’s not. Because your soul is written all over it. I look at you and I know what you’re thinking. When I say something, I know what expression you’ll make. Because I know you so well. And I know your face so well. And we’ve had our share of fights and tears and laughter, but at the end of the day I’ll still keep looking for your face. And it’s weird, because you change slowly with the time, and I watch that happen, yet there are moments when you look at me and it’s like I’m seeing you for the first time. And then you’ll scrunch your nose and I realize again, this is Seokjin. It doesn't matter if there were lines or wrinkles or imperfections. Because it's your face and that's what makes it perfect. Do you understand?”

Seokjin gaped at him, not knowing how to react, but thoroughly moved. Jungkook was always honest, sometimes bluntly so, but he was rarely this forthcoming when unprompted.

When he could speak, Seokjin murmured, “Comforting, huh?” He reached out and squeezed Jungkook’s cheeks with his hand, admiring the pink lips with the piercing and the mole, the strong jawline that only made itself known in recent years, and the doe eyes that somehow never changed. His eyes lingered on the scar on Jungkook’s cheek, and he thought that if that scar ever disappeared one day, he would turn over every stone in the planet looking for it.

Jeon Jungkook hadn’t always been handsome, but he grew into his looks, and now Seokjin couldn’t imagine him looking like anything else. Didn’t want him to look like anything else.

Huh. Perhaps that was what Jungkook was trying to say.

Smiling, Seokjin touched the scar on Jungkook’s cheek and said, “I understand perfectly.”

Jungkook smiled back as if he understood everything that Seokjin wasn’t saying. “Good.”

Pushing the plate and their mugs away, closer to the fireplace, Seokjin scooted closer to Jungkook and rested his head on his shoulder. Jungkook drew him closer with an arm over his shoulders.

“Jungkookie,” Seokjin said, staring into the flames. “Promise me you’ll never change.” Because I don’t mind getting older so long as you don’t change.

It took a while before Jungkook answered. “I promise I’ll never change. But I can’t promise that I’ll keep things the same.”

Word games again? Seokjin picked up his head and looked at Jungkook with a frown. Those were two contradictory sentences. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook just smiled, picked up a smore from the plate, and stuffed it between Seokjin’s slightly parted lips. “Eat your smores, yeobo. You’ll get it when you get it. Maybe soon.”

Chapter Text

Seokjin woke with a gasp, head jerking up from his pillow without conscious thought. His eyes were wide open immediately, his heart pounding. He felt clammy again.

As his brain registered his surroundings — warm blankets over him, heavy arm around him, soft morning light slipping into the room through the half-open curtains — the remaining tendrils of his dream dropped away. It was just a dream. A bad dream.

A proper nightmare, this time.

But despite the tranquility of the morning, Seokjin didn’t feel appeased. In fact, his anxiety only cranked up.

Something had woken him.

Nudging Jungkook’s arm off of him, Seokjin sat up, breathing heavily. He wiped the sweat from his forehead with a palm, pushing his fringe up, then letting it fall down in a disarray.

You’re fine, he told himself. You’re safe.

Just as his body was calming down, a soft, sudden sound had him jolting and snapping his head towards the window.

And then another.

What the hell is that? he wondered anxiously. His dream crept back at him, raising the hairs on his arms. He’d been back at that forest, except this time it was nighttime and he was running for his life, while shadowy figures stalked the woods around him.

When he heard another sound by the window, he staggered to his feet and hurried towards the corner of the room where the golf clubs were kept. He grabbed one, pulling it out of the bag, before quietly but quickly toeing his way to the window beside the now silent fireplace.

On the mattress, Jungkook was still dead asleep.

I have to do everything myself, Seokjin grumbled internally.

As he approached the window, he hovered at the spot behind the partially drawn curtains, hands tightening and loosening on the handle of the golf club. He tried to peek at what’s outside. All he could see was snow.

The silence was eerie. Goosebumps popped up along his arms.

And then, completely out of nowhere, a flock of tiny black things rained against the visible window pane, making a sound like hail hitting glass.

With a startled yelp, Seokjin swung the golf club.

There was a moment right before the club made contact with the glass when he thought, ‘Wait, no, what am I doing,’ but it was too late to stop the momentum.

The sole of the golf club hit the window pane with a loud crack, which was followed by the sound of glass crunching and shattering, tiny pieces of it bouncing on the wooden floor.

And then there was silence. Shocked by himself, Seokjin stood there frozen, lips parted, not knowing what to do or say.

“Oops,” he finally whispered. Gingerly, he tugged the club out of the hole he’d accidentally made on the window pane.

Placing the club on the floor, Seokjin carefully inched his way over to inspect the damage, mindful of the broken glass by the wall. It was a good thing he’d insisted on wearing socks.

The entire window wasn’t shattered — it was sectioned off into four panels, separated by wood, but now there was a gaping hole at the bottom corner, and cracks panned widely from the place of impact.

He knew the whole thing was going to have to be replaced, though.

Just as his brain started working double time, trying to figure out how to fix his mess, a voice from outside reached him, making him jump.

“Seokjin-nim!”

Heart kicking violently into overdrive, Seokjin whipped his head up and stared out through the glass.

And out there, on the field of snow, a man decked in a thick red parka and high boots was jumping up and down beside a Jeep, waving his arms in the air. He was rather far away, the high level of snow keeping him at a distance.

“Seokjin-nim!”

Jerking into action, Seokjin leaned down and called out through the hole in the glass. “I hear you, hello, good morning! Where’d you come from?” The cold was wafting in, but for once, he didn’t care about it. His body was buzzing with adrenaline; suddenly, he was wide awake.

The man stopped jumping and cupped his hands around his mouth. “We’ve been trying to get to you! But the weather’s been bad and the snow is high everywhere!”

So they had been trying to reach them. Of course they had. Seokjin needed to have more faith in their staff. Gratitude flowing through his veins, he shouted, “I understand!”

“But we can start plowing off the snow now! I’ll come back with our other workers and get to it!”

“Okay!” Seokjin shouted eagerly.

“And we’ve gotten in touch with your managers via radio! They’re fine! But there’s still no signal across the whole town!”

Seokjin was stuck on ‘They’re fine,’ All his anxiety was replaced by a wave of relief. “They’re fine?”

“Yes! They’re fine! I need to inform them that you’re fine, too!” The man paused. “Where is Jungkook-nim?”

“Fine, too!”

Even across the distance, Seokjin could feel the man’s relief. But what he said next was, “Why did you break the window? I was just throwing aquarium pebbles to get your attention, Seokjin-nim!”

Seokjin grimaced. “Nevermind that please!” Then the words caught up to him. “Did you say aquarium pebbles?”

The man was laughing, making his way back to the Jeep. Just as he reached the door, he bowed and said, “I’ll return soon! Please stay safe!”

Bowing back, Seokjin replied, “Thank you, take care!”

He watched, still rather perplexed, as the man boarded the Jeep, slammed the door shut, and began driving away across the road, which Seokjin had just noticed were clear of snow now. Resort staff must have been working to remove the snow and make facilities accessible again.

And they were going to work on their driveway next.

Mood lifted considerably, Seokjin bounced over to the mattress and kneeled next to Jungkook, shaking him hard and mercilessly. “Hey, wake up!”

When Jungkook didn’t even stir, Seokjin glanced at the nearest camera. “The world could be ending and he’d still be asleep. Can you believe this guy?”

Sighing, Seokjin proceeded to shake and shake and shake him until a frown appeared on Jungkook’s face and his eyelashes started to flutter.

“Jungkook-ah, wake up!”

Breathing in deeply and blinking rapidly, Jungkook let his sleepy gaze settle on Seokjin. At the sight of him, Jungkook’s face softened and he placed a hand on Seokjin’s forearm. A wordless hello.

Seokjin, however, had a lot to tell him. “Kookie, a staff came over to say they’re clearing the snow outside our cabin, and the managers and the other members are fine but there’s still no signal, and I broke a window, so I have to clean that up.”

Jungkook blinked some more. Opened his mouth. Closed it. His expression was doing that thing where it remained blank as his brain processed new information.

When he was back online, Jungkook rasped out, “You did what?”

Seokjin batted away an imaginary flying insect. “Point is, everyone and everything will be fine. Though I don’t know when the members will be able to get here, the man didn’t say.”

“Good to know. Told you they were alright,” Jungkook said, sounding more awake. He rubbed his face. “Did you say you broke a window?”

Of course he would focus on that. “Maybe,” Seokjin hedged.

But Jungkook was already lifting himself up on his elbows, gaze peeking over Seokjin’s shoulder.

Seokjin could tell the moment he spotted the shattered window. His eyes widened comically, mouth dropping open.

“What did you do?”

“I have an explanation,” Seokjin said firmly, a little aggressively.

Jungkook gawked at him. “Well? I’m waiting.”

“I was having a nightmare—”

“A nightmare?”

“I had a nightmare and I was freaking out, then I heard noises by the window and got even more freaked out,” Seokjin said, speaking fast. “I thought something was trying to sneak in!”

“How would anyone sneak in, there’s a pile of snow outside—”

“Shh.” Seokjin gestured at him irritably. “I was stressed and convinced the thingies in my dream were out to get me. It made sense at the time!”

Jungkook seemed to be having a hard time wrapping his mind around the whole thing. “Well — well, what did it turn out to be?”

Seokjin cleared his throat, sitting back on his heels. “Well, it turned out that the staff was tossing aquarium pebbles at the window to, like, check for signs of life. I told him we were fine.”

“Aquarium pebbles?”

“Exactly my reaction!”

“Oh my god.” Jungkook let himself collapse back on the mattress, head hitting the pillow. “I can’t believe this…”

“Me neither,” Seokjin admitted. He plucked absently at Jungkook’s shirt, which seemed to be different from the one he was wearing the night before when Seokjin fell asleep. Did Jungkook change at some point? When and why? “I should go clean the broken glass.”

Jungkook had fingers pressed against his closed eyes now. He looked pained, and like he was questioning his life choices. “How could someone who looks like an angel be so deranged…”

Seokjin clambered back to his feet, leaving Jungkook to his crisis. He went to the bathroom first, because he really needed to pee. As he washed his hands after, he checked the mirror to make sure he wasn’t ghastly. It wasn’t too bad.

After that, he hunted down a broom and dustpan; he found them in a storage closet. Then he headed to the kitchen and grabbed the dishwashing gloves, putting them on.

Ready for battle, he returned to the living room, making a beeline for the window, ignoring Jungkook still on the mattress.

Crouching down in front of the jagged hole, he reached out and grasped the edge of the broken glass, attempting to shake it off the frame. It held strong, though — it seemed glass wasn’t that fragile. Should he leave it alone? Wasn’t it dangerous to leave sharp edges just hanging out here? Seokjin had a paranoid vision of himself accidentally hitting this side of the wall and slicing his skin against the sharp, broken edges of the glass.

“Hey! What are you doing?”

Seokjin didn’t bother answering Jungkook. Pursing his lips, he tightened his grip and tried to push at the piece of glass.

A hand grasped his bicep firmly, halting his movements. “Jin. I’ll do it.”

Craning his head up to look at Jungkook, Seokjin tried to explain. “I need to remove all the glass so we could board it up. Leaving the sharp glass like this is dangerous.” He had no idea what he was saying; he’d never encountered a broken window before. There was a high chance he probably should leave it alone, but he was far from being rational at the moment.

“I understand.” Jungkook tapped Seokjin’s nose. “I’ll do it.”

Seokjin let go of the glass and leaned away. He stripped off the gloves and handed them over to Jungkook. “It’s harder than it looks.”

“Let’s see.” Jungkook took the gloves and put them on. He’d just stepped forward when Seokjin stopped him with a hand on his stomach.

“Watch it! There’s broken glass on the floor.” Clambering to his feet, Seokjin said, “Wait here.”

He reached over to where he’d dropped the broom and dustpan, then set about sweeping away the shards. When he was done, he said, “Okay, go.”

Jungkook gingerly approached the broken window and bent down, grasping the exposed glass. His back muscles flexed, and so did his entire arm, but the glass didn’t budge.

“See,” Seokjin said smugly.

With a thoughtful hum, Jungkook straightened, looking around. After a moment, he swooped down and grasped the abandoned golf club on the floor.

Seokjin frowned, confused. “What?”

Jungkook studied the club for a moment then handed it to Seokjin with a dry smile. “Well. You want to hit and break things. Go wild.” He nodded at the window.

And then Seokjin understood. He gazed at Jungkook in surprise and wondered why he was going along with this madness, encouraging it even. Wondered if they were both just dumb, and why that was comforting.

Grinning happily, Seokjin accepted the club, taking a few steps back to position himself. He curled his fingers around the handle, eyes on the cracked window pane. “I don’t think I’ve ever done this before. I mean, not on purpose.”

“I should hope not. Oh wait —” Jungkook ran back to the mattress briefly, before returning in a flash. He was holding up his phone, hands free of gloves. “We have to show this to the members. Okay. Go.”

Giggling, Seokjin stretched his arms and aimed. He didn’t waste time, just went in swinging.

Something that was often overlooked about him was his athleticism. He may tend to dance awkwardly, but his body was actually flexible and quick.

And he had good aim.

The sole of the club crashed against the stubborn glass clinging to the wooden frames, blowing it out onto the snow with a loud crash. Delighted, Seokjin pulled the club back and then swung again.

“You’re really something,” Jungkook observed, tone somewhat amazed.

Wanting to share the fun, Seokjin pulled the club back and shuffled towards Jungkook, offering the club. “You try, Jungkook-ah!”

Jungkook gamely took the club and handed Seokjin his phone. Seokjin laughed loudly as he filmed Jungkook whooping and swinging. Jungkook cleared the rest of the glass from the window pane in no time.

“Done?” Seokin asked, smiling fondly down at his phone screen.

Dropping the club on the floor carelessly and bouncing on his toes, Jungkook confirmed, “Done.” Then he stilled and looked at Seokjin. “What do we board that with?”

“Um.” Seokjin pursed his lips. “I didn’t think that far.”

Jungkook sighed and rolled his eyes.

They ended up boarding it with a cardboard container that previously held a brand new train set for Hoseok to assemble. They weren’t monsters; they left the pieces at the center of the coffee table.

Luckily, there was packaging tape in the storage room. Once they'd stuck the cardboard on the gap in the window, Seokjin swept the floor again to make sure there weren’t any errant pieces of glass. He disposed of the glass in the garbage can, then returned to the living room.

“Okay,” he exhaled when he got back. “What will we eat for breakfast?”

Jungkook looked up at him from where he was sitting on the mattress, clutching his phone. “Noodles?”

“We can do that.” Seokjin spun on his heel and headed towards the kitchen. “Let’s cook, I’m hungry.”

—

They made japchae. Working together was seamless for them; they moved around each other with an ease that spoke of years of teamwork. Kitchen teamwork in particular.

Seokjin hummed as he stirred everything in the pan. Jungkook sat by the counter and watched him finish cooking their meal.

When they sat down in the dining area with bowls of noodles, Jungkook began, “So the nightmares—”

“Does the japchae need more salt?” Seokjin interrupted, even though neither of them had a bite yet.

Jungkook gave him an unimpressed glance.

Realizing he wasn’t getting away with it this time, Seokjin relented. “It’s just since we got here. Nothing serious, just weird.”

“So you thought someone was sneaking in to get you because of a ‘weird’ dream?” Jungkook sounded skeptical.

“Okay, last night’s dream was downright freaky,” Seokjin admitted. “But the night before it was just a bit weird. I’ve just been anxious.”

Seemingly deep in thought, Jungkook furrowed his brows. “You haven’t been acting very anxious…”

“I guess it’s only been creeping up on me at night.” Seokjin shrugged. “And you know my bad days tend to be seasonal.”

Jungkook nodded slowly. He and the other members knew that Seokjin was prone to bouts of depression and anxiety in the winter. There was a reason his solo song Abyss was released on his birthday last year. His mental health had been struggling during that whole era, and it all bubbled up at the peak of winter.

But Seokjin had been so happy throughout the past December, because they were finally able to travel and hold concerts again. Seokjin got to celebrate his birthday with fans and he even released a cheerful and completely random song called Super Tuna, which, to his mortification, went wildly viral.

So he understood why Jungkook was confused.

“I think it’s really just the situation. I’m stressed and worried.” Seokjin started poking around his noodles with his chopsticks. “But it hasn’t been that bad, because I’ve been having fun with you here. Okay?”

At that, Jungkook smiled. He’d just opened his mouth to speak when Seokjin shoved noodles right into his mouth. Retracting his chopsticks, he gave Jungkook a winning grin. “Shut up and eat.”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook chewed and obeyed.

—

Seokjin sighed as he stared out the cracked window, wondering when the staff would come. He knew they must be busy and that it must be difficult just moving around outside, but it’s been hours. After breakfast, he and Jungkook had taken turns in the shower, cleaned up the house a little, and quickly got bored. They ended up eventually playing with the indoor golf set.

But even after all that, the staff weren’t here.

None of the members were miraculously appearing, either. There still wasn’t any signal at all, so it was impossible to know the state of things outside their bubble.

“Can you stop sighing by the window like your husband left you for war?”

Seokjin turned around and glared at Jungkook, who was seated on the keyboard, working. He had his reading glasses on and was still scribbling on an abused sheet of paper. Why was that hot?

Pershing the thought, Seokjin pointed out, “Nobody’s coming.”

“And you can’t do anything about it no matter how much you pout over there.” Jungkook put the pen down and played a quick series of chords, and then frowned right after.

To further annoy him, Seokjin sighed again. Then he trudged across the living room and plopped himself down beside Jungkook on the right side of the bench. “Kookie.”

Jungkook lifted his head and looked at him, pushing the glasses up. “You’re bored,” he guessed.

Seokjin nodded.

Lifting a hand, Jungkook squished Seokjin’s cheeks together, wide palm easily dwarfing the lower part of Seokjin’s face. “What does yeobo want?”

Yeobo again. A feeling that alarmingly resembled butterflies plagued Seokjin’s stomach. “I want to listen to Kookie sing,” he mumbled out. It was free therapy, sue him.

Jungkook let go of his face and tucked a lock of Seokjin’s hair behind his ear. “Okay,” he said easily. He shuffled his papers together and placed them on the rack, blank surface on display. Hiding his work. “Any requests?”

“Nothing in particular.” Then inspiration struck Seokjin. “But it has to be dedicated specifically to me,” he tacked on slyly.

For some reason, Jungkook went quiet. His silence stretched on for so long that Seokjin was compelled to glance over at him, puzzled.

“Ten years is a long time,” Jungkook murmured, finger tapping soundlessly at a key. It was the second time he’d said that in as many days. “Isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Seokjin answered slowly, feeling unreasonably nervous. The air around them had changed; there was tension in it now.

Jungkook looked at Seokjin. “And you say they’re coming here soon?”

Seokjin was getting whiplash at how Jungkook was jumping from random topic to random topic. “The staff? The members? Yeah, safe to assume so.”

“Hmm. In that case...” Jungkook pressed down at the key he’d been fidgeting with. It was a C. “I already wrote a song for you.”

“Huh?” That was the last thing Seokjin expected him to say.

“It’s in one of our albums.”

Seokjin blinked. “Huh?” That made even less sense. Then he realized Jungkook must be messing with him. “Stop joking.”

“It’s not a joke.” Jungkook sounded dead serious.

“Then—” Seokjin felt lost all of a sudden; he thought he knew the stories behind their songs and albums, but why didn’t he know this one? “Then which one?” Doubt still niggled at him. Why would Jungkook write a song for him, and why would he admit to it now?

“Take a guess.” Jungkook smiled. “I’m sure your worldwide big brain can figure it out if you really think about it.”

Seokjin frowned. While Jungkook was credited to have contributed to many of their songs, there were only a handful of songs that Jungkook would proudly say he’d written himself. “Begin, My Time… but those are personal songs.”

“Uh-huh. Though My Time was dedicated to you, and other hyungs.”

Well, he already knew that. “Still With You… that was a non-album release, so no.”

“Right.”

That only left about three songs. Seokjin’s heart thudded in his chest as his mind landed on one particular track. Surely, it wasn't that…

“Well?” Jungkook prodded, eyes locked on Seokjin’s face.

“Is it written in Korean?” Seokjin felt oddly nervous again.

Jungkook’s grin widened. “Nope.”

“Is it— is it a unit song?”

“Nope.”

Oh.

Jungkook was searching his eyes. “You got it already, didn’t you? Won’t you say it out loud?” When Seokjin refused to answer, Jungkook huffed out a laugh. “Fine, I’ll just sing it, then.”

Before Seokjin could recover from the revelation, Jungkook placed his fingers on the keys and started playing the introduction to his self-composed Japanese song Your Eyes Tell.

And then he sang.

Listening to Jungkook sing has always been a beautiful experience. Vocal experts can break down his technique all they want, criticizing and praising it in turn; fans can fawn over it on the daily, crying over how he was the best vocalist of his generation; but for Seokjin, Jungkook’s voice will always be warm and peaceful and comforting, like a familiar hug after a long day. Jungkook sang as if it was instinct for him, but also as if he had a tight leash over every note, every breath.

Jungkook sang as if he was born to sing. As if singing was an extension of him speaking.

“Hey,” Jungkook sang, glancing at Seokjin sideways. “Stay by my side and smile…”

But for all his familiarity with Jungkook’s voice, Seokjin could say that being sung a song written specifically for him was a different experience altogether.

It felt as if a rug had been pulled out from under his feet.

Seokjin knew this song, he sang this song, he recorded this song, but as Jungkook sang it to him now, Seokjin felt as if he’d never heard it before.

“A future without you is a world without color, filled with monochrome coldness…”

BTS is seven. No one understood that better than them. When a song is performed by seven, their respective lines are injected with their own vocal characteristics and personal feelings — it’s for this reason that it’s difficult to perform another member’s part. They have four vocalists, but their styles couldn’t be more different; they have three rappers, but while they are all equally skilled, it’s impossible for them to copy each other.

“To face the past and present, how much do I have to wish for me to reach you…”

But this was different.

Jungkook sang every vocalist’s and rapper’s parts in his own style with startling ease, melding it all together until the song was flowing melodiously as if nothing was ever amiss — and suddenly Seokjin understood.

For the first time, he was hearing Your Eyes Tell the way Jungkook had written it.

“Looking only directly at you, so you don’t go away…”

And he was amazing. Seokjin couldn’t stop looking at him, wholly enraptured.

Who was this man? Was this the same shy boy who first said hello when he was 15? Had it really been a decade since then? This stranger had inky black hair down to his neck, piercings on his face, and a full sleeve of tattoos. This stranger had reached Seokjin in height and surpassed him in breadth and muscle mass. This stranger had a dangerous look about him, but owned the steadiest hands, the softest eyes, the dorkiest smile, and the most angelic voice.

This was Jeon Jungkook, all grown up.

“Your eyes, they tell.”

The last note rang out in the silence, but it didn’t shake Seokjin from the spell. He felt as if he’d been sliced open, turned inside out; he felt as if he'd just lost a big chunk of himself and he didn’t know why or when or how.

Do you think you can know someone so well for so long and just realize one day after so many years that you’re in love with them?

A thumb brushed away the tears that had escaped from Seokjin’s eyes. He inhaled, blinking, not even realizing that he’d been crying.

“Why are you crying?” Jungkook asked tenderly.

“I don’t know.” Seokjin’s breath hitched. He was still so affected.

Jungkook wiped Seokjin’s cheeks carefully, gaze roving over his face. “Did you like your song?”

Another tear dripped down his face. “It’s perfect,” Seokjin said honestly.

“I’m glad,” Jungkook said simply.

Feeling vulnerable and emotional, Seokjin snuggled closer and rested his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. It fit comfortably there, like it always did.

“Don’t cry, Jinnie.” Jungkook rubbed Seokjin’s thigh. “Why don’t you play a piece with me?”

Seokjin merely sniffled.

Jungkook hovered his fingers over the keys once more, letting a few moments pass. When he pressed down, the first few notes that rang out were familiar. It was the soundtrack to the French film Amelie.

Despite himself, Seokjin smiled. He knew this one. They learned to play it together after all, turning it into a piano duet one slow summer afternoon. Seokjin had first picked up the piano in 2018 for his solo song Epiphany, but it took a pandemic for him to actually learn it seriously. The past year, he’d been learning and practicing in his free time, and sometimes, Jungkook would join him. ‘Can’t let you beat me in anything,’ Jungkook had said. Like Seokjin, he’d dabbled in piano before, but never took it seriously, no matter how much he said he wanted to. Seokjin thought his own decision to pursue it was the push Jungkook needed in order to actually follow through.

Competition always did drive Jungkook best.

After a few bars, Seokjin lifted his right hand and played the same notes in a higher octave as Jungkook continued to play in the lower. Their fingers looked like they were dancing in synchronization.

Soon enough, Seokjin was sitting up straight and playing with both hands. They were each doing their own thing now, but the music flowed in perfect harmony without any words between them. The song was solemn, almost haunting. But beautiful.

This didn’t feel like competition.

They stayed like that, playing wordless music, for hours on end.

Chapter Text

The epiphany that he was in love with his best friend wasn’t earth-shaking, Seokjin found.

Instead, it felt like the puzzle piece that he’d been missing — which had previously allowed him to pretend he couldn’t see the full picture — finally slid into place.

And he was seeing it all now. He couldn’t avoid seeing it all now.

God, why him, Seokjin groused to himself as he pretended to sleep, back to Jungkook and front facing the fireplace. Of all the goddamn people in this highly-populated world, why Jeon Jungkook?

After spending some time with Jungkook on the keyboard, Seokjin had asked if they could watch Doctor Who, because he didn’t want to talk, and he didn’t want to think. And Jungkook readily agreed.

At some point during their marathon, the resort staff arrived, a bunch of them shoveling off the snow around the cabin. It took them hours, and they refused any help, so Seokjin just continued watching the show with Jungkook.

They shed off four hours just finishing the rest of the sixth season and starting the seventh. The staff left eventually, telling them that they had come into radio contact — because they had actual radios, not just the cute walkie talkies they had been playing with in the car — with their managers who, along with the members, were going to brave the snowy terrain tomorrow.

Tomorrow, Seokjin mulled. Everyone will be here by tomorrow.

And here he was wasting what little time he had with Jungkook by shying away from conversations. He didn’t even talk much during the marathon, when usually, they couldn’t stop themselves from making side comments. Usually, they would’ve been the nightmare movie-goers in cinemas.

But how was he supposed to react to the revelation that Jungkook had written Your Eyes Tell while thinking of him? That Jungkook secretly dedicated that song to him and blasted it for all the world to hear? That Seokjin had been singing that song, not knowing that it was — what?

A confession?

A love letter?

For him?

The thing about that song was that it carried depth. Jungkook had earlier said that in order for him to write better Japanese lyrics, he had to think up a good story — but he already did. Your Eyes Tell was beautiful because it told a long, winding narrative. It hinted of a faraway past, revealed the longing in the present, and promised a bright future.

It wasn’t some cute or even sexy love song that anyone could sing for anyone. It was a declaration of devotion.

‘Wherever you are, I’ll find you, to a tomorrow of us.’

A declaration of devotion for Seokjin specifically.

And what was Seokjin supposed to do with that, now that he knew? Ignore it?

He could. It would be the easiest way out. Jungkook never made a specific, outright confession or statement of intent — he just went, ‘Oh, by the way, this love song is for you, now let’s play the piano.’ And hadn’t mentioned it since.

Could Seokjin just pretend he never heard anything and let their friendship settle back to normal? Because it would. Theirs was a bond that was so strong it could withstand anything; he was sure about that. Hell or high water, it would always recover and go back to being smooth-sailing. Eventually.

If Seokjin was being honest, going down that route was tempting. Safer.

Because it was one thing to be in love with Jungkook, and another thing to be with him.

What would happen if they did get together? If they dated each other?

Everything they’d built would crumble, that’s what.

If it got out, fans would riot. It would be a worldwide controversy. Not only were two BTS members dating, they were dating each other. As if a dating scandal wasn’t enough, it would be a gay dating scandal.

Could they withstand that? Could their bulletproof vests let them survive that?

If they followed their heart, would they still be standing on their feet by the end of the storm? Would it be worth it?

Seokjin had no answers to any of these — he needed some time to think.

But how would he tell Jungkook that without sounding like an asshole? ‘Hey bestie, I know you kind of indirectly confessed your feelings for me, but I’m a little freaked out and my mind is in shambles, so could you hold that thought?’

He may be acting a bit like a jerk already, but it wasn’t intentional. He didn’t want to hurt Jungkook; he wanted to give him a proper answer.

What that answer would be, he didn’t know. But first things first, he should probably open his mouth and tell Jungkook to wait.

Before he could, Jungkook moved closer to him, his warmth pressing up against Seokjin’s back. On cue, Seokjin’s heart started racing.

Jungkook lifted himself to hover over Seokjin, placing his mouth close to Seokjin’s ear. Seokjin stopped breathing, gaze latched blindly on the fire.

“Was I too honest?” Jungkook’s voice was so quiet, the only reason Seokjin heard him was because he was speaking directly into his ear. “Was it too soon?”

Seokjin licked his lips nervously and found that he couldn’t answer. Jungkook was too close, and it made Seokjin feel trapped.

Caught.

“Hey,” Jungkoook murmured, nose brushing against Seokjin’s cheekbone. “Jin. It’s just me.”

Just Jungkook? A few hours ago, Seokjin would have said that he knew Jungkook from head to toe. But ever since Jungkook sang Your Eyes Tell, it was like he stepped under a new kind of light, and Seokjin was having a hard time looking for the boy he knew.

How could Seokjin not know this Jungkook? This Jungkook who was apparently in love with him? Where had he been hiding? What more was Jungkoook keeping from him while Seokjin remained clueless?

As if reading his mind, Jungkook said, “Hey, look at me. You know me. You know me better than I know myself.”

He curled an arm around Seokjin. That felt the same. He pressed his nose against Seokjin’s hair and inhaled. That was also the same.

Seokjin slowly moved his head, turning it so he could look up at Jungkook. Jungkook looked down at him, meeting his gaze.

Those eyes were the same. Big, googly eyes. They used to shine with childlike innocence, but now they shone with unfathomable fire.

And then Jungkook smiled, and it was the same smile he’d given Seokjin since he was 15. A little dorky, a little funny, but beautiful because it was genuine.

This was still his Jungkook.

Appeased, Seokjin lifted his arms and wrapped them around Jungkook’s neck, wanting to cling, wanting to make sure he didn’t somehow lose him at some point over the emotionally turbulent afternoon.

Jungkook let out what sounded like a sigh of relief, before letting himself fall back to his side, gathering Seokjin into his arms. Their bodies instinctively adjusted so they’d be more comfortably tucked against each other.

Seokjin nestled his head into the curve of Jungkook’s neck, hand resting on his chest. Jungkook kept an arm around Seokjin’s waist, keeping him close. Turning his head, he nuzzled Seokjin’s forehead.

Then he went lower. Until they were nose to nose.

“I can wait, you know,” Jungkook whispered. “If you’re not ready, I can totally wait. I’ve waited a decade already, it’s fine. I mean it.”

The declaration could have had the effect of doubling the pressure, but it had the opposite effect on Seokjin. It comforted him. He’d wanted time; now he was given it. He didn’t even need to ask for it.

How did Jungkook always know?

Probably because what Jungkook said about Seokji knowing him better than he did himself — it went both ways.

Letting his body relax, Seokjin just nodded his head. He didn’t know what he could possibly say.

It seemed that he need not say anything at all, because Jungkook said, “Alright. That’s fine.” His hand reached up to stroke Seokjin’s hair comfortingly. “You should go to sleep, Jin. Everything’s fine, promise.”

And despite the weird situation, Seokjin believed him. Because whenever Jungkook says that everything is fine, everything usually turns out fine.

Seokjin didn’t dream that night.

—

“...they’re fine, they’re sound asleep.”

“Should we wake them?”

“Why are they on a mattress out here?”

“Probably for the fireplace?”

“And what is this thing on the window—”

“I can’t believe we were suffering in our small motel room, and they’ve been living the good life here!”

Voices lured Seokjin out of his slumber. But the voices were so comforting to hear that he couldn’t be bothered to wake up all the way.

The space beside him dipped, a weight settling beside Seokjin.

“Jin-hyung,” a voice crooned, accompanied by a touch on his face. Taehyung? “I feel much better already just seeing them.”

“Move over,” another whined. Jimin?

“No, just move Jungkookie. Why is he even latched onto Jin like that? Make him go away.”

There was some shuffling, and the arm that had been protecting Seokjin was lifted away. The loss made Seokjin want to stir restlessly.

Before he could, another weight lay itself on Seokjin’s other side. Another arm wrapped itself around Seokjin.

“Do they seem fine to you?”

“I think they are. Now hush. Nap time.”

Nap time. That sounded good.

Seokjin let himself sink back fully into sleep.

—

When he woke up properly, he saw that Taehyung and Jimin were curled around him, fully clothed and passed out.

Relief and fondness hit him like a truck. He didn’t imagine hearing their voices earlier, then. Seokjin clutched each of them into his arms, before worming out of their hold.

Jungkook was still asleep beside Jimin.

Shaking his head, Seokjin left the three boys and went in search of the other members. It wasn’t difficult to find them. Predictably, they were in the kitchen. Yoongi was cooking, Hoseok was making coffee, and Namjoon was staying out of the way.

“Jin!” Hoseok exclaimed loudly. He bounced over and gave Seokjin an enthusiastic hug. “You’re alive!”

“J-Hope! Of course I am.” Seokjin thumped Hoseok on the back before pulling away. “Ah, I’m so relieved you guys are safe. Do you know how stressed I was? Stress isn’t good for me! I’ll get ugly!”

“We didn’t drive after you,” Namjoon said apologetically, ignoring the latter half of Seokjin’s comments. Rude. But he patted Seokjin’s shoulder when he approached. “The snow worsened before we knew it.”

“That’s a good thing,” Seokjin assured. “Where’d you stay?”

“Some motel there. It was small, but the important thing was we were safe. We were mostly worried about you.”

“We were just fine.”

“Fine?” Yoongi asked. He pointed out into the living room with a pair of stainless steel tongs. “Why is the window broken?”

“There’s an explanation for that,” Seokjin insisted. “One I’m too hungry to share right now.” He shuffled closer to Yoongi, checking what he was cooking. He was frying steak on a grill pan, and there were unopened packets of Jjapaguri on the counter. “You need help, Yoongi-ya?”

Yoongi shook his head. “I’m good.”

“Alright.” Seokjin briefly pressed a hand on the top of Yoongi’s head as he brushed past him towards the refrigerator, a wordless hello and thank you. Yoongi ducked his head, and Seokjin guessed he was smiling, probably blushing. Softie. “There should be some leftovers here, too.”

“I saw,” Yoongi muttered. “Why were you cooking a lot?”

“No reason,” Seokjin said breezily. He opened the refrigerator, checked it briefly, then shut it. In his good mood, he’d decided to make a sweet treat for everyone. He perused the cupboards next, and took out some pure cocoa and cinnamon.

“Sejin-hyung and the other managers were here a while ago,” Namjoon informed him. “But they said they’ll be back when everyone’s awake and that they’ll talk to some executives first.”

“They’ll probably try to decide what to do about the show,” Seokjin said thoughtfully.

“Yeah.”

Seokjin set up a pot beside Yoongi, sharing the electric stove with him. He mixed ingredients in boiling water as Yoongi got started on cooking the noodles.

Hoseok began chattering then, telling Seokjin some of their adventures in the motel, which involved getting locked out of rooms, piling together into small beds, a ghost scare, and a water crisis.

Smiling, Seokjin listened and felt the last of his anxiety ebb away. Everything was fine now. They were all back together. And the morning was peaceful, even though Namjoon started arguing with Hoseok over some ‘misinformation’ in his story that put him in a bad light.

He was home.

—

Seokjin’s inner peace didn’t last.

Because Jungkook woke up.

When he and the younger members padded into the dining area, their eyes lit up at the sight of food. Seokjin’s heart did that annoying thing where it tumbled in his chest, and his eyes had difficulty meeting Jungkook’s gaze.

And when Jungkook saw the spicy hot chocolate that Seokjin had prepared — with the option of marshmallows on top — he didn’t hesitate in leaning down and pressing a sweet kiss to Seokjin’s cheek in thanks.

Seokjin stiffened.

The table went silent as the members stopped talking abruptly and looked over at them. Beside him, Yoongi paused with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. Seokjin bore their stares as coolly as he possibly could.

He understood their surprise. It wasn’t that he and Jungkook were never sweet or affectionate, because they were — it was just that they were more prone to bickering or messing around. If Jungkoook had given Seokjin an exaggerated, teasing peck, then no one would have batted an eye, but the intimacy in the gesture now was rather unexpected.

A week ago, if Jungkook had wanted to express appreciation for the hot chocolate, he’d have chirped ‘Thanks, Jin-hyung,’ and maybe patted Seokjin’s head or stroked him playfully beneath his chin. Not kissed him on the cheek.

And that was when Seokjin realized that in the span of days, things had changed. No matter what, he and Jungkook already crossed a line and there was no going back. And Seokjin didn’t know what to do about that yet.

So he did what he did best — he acted. He acted as if nothing was amiss, he acted as if he were just fine and dandy.

“If you put more cinnamon in that, it will be great,” he said lightly, gripping his chopsticks tightly.

“You just want my lungs to burn,” Jungkook said after a beat. He stiffly drew away and walked off, likely in search of a bowl.

The rest of the members brushed off the weird incident and resumed their breakfast. Seokjin tried to put his heart back on its leash.

Just hang on until you’re home, he thought to himself. Soon, you’ll be home.

—

They weren’t going home.

Not yet.

Because apparently, their little snowstorm incident made it to world news headlines.

It somehow got out that managers from HYBE headquarters and even JTBC had been trying to get in touch with the members of Bangtan Sonyeondan and their crew since the blizzard — to no avail. Even local authorities got involved, but there was only so much they could do when snow was dumped onto an entire town.

Long story short, people were devastated, in tears, at the edge of their seats, wondering if they should be bracing themselves for funerals. For days.

Their poor fans.

The fact that a third season of In The Soop had been in the works also got spoiled. But that was the least of everyone’s worries.

Seokjin and the rest of the members only learned this when the signal went back online in the town that morning, allowing their managers to get into contact with HYBE.

“We have to release a statement to reassure the public about your safety,” Sejin said once he’d returned to the cabin, along with a bunch of staff members, who were going around the house restocking items and fiddling with cameras. “Though the rest of the town is still clearing the snow from major roads. So we were thinking, if we’re stuck here anyway…”

“You want to reshoot In The Soop,” Namjoon guessed.

“It’s a suggestion,” Sejin said, shrugging. “Of course, it’s your decision.”

“I don’t mind it,” Jimin said. “After those stressful few days, I want to relax. This place is nice.”

The other members chimed in with their agreement. Nobody was saying no to vacation.

“How many more days can we stay here?” Jungkook asked.

“We can spare another four,” Sejin answered. “Counting from today.”

“What about everything that happened until this point though?” Seokjin had to ask.

Sejin clapped his hands as if struck with a thought. “Ah, about that! The cameras here have always been functioning, of course, they were set up and rolling before you even arrived.”

Oh, fuck.

“And the other members have actually been documenting their stay in the motel,” Sejin continued. “So if need be, we can go through all that footage and see if we have enough for a first episode, maybe. Or perhaps we’ll scrap it. We’ll have to see.”

Seokjin just nodded his head like a marionette doll. It will probably be fine, he tried to convince himself. Everything that Jungkook and I have done so far could totally be seen as brotherly.

Right?

“Anyway, this saves us the trouble of making another deal with JTBC. Wonderful. We’ll leave you alone now; we’ll just be in the nearby cabins.” Sejin turned to leave, then looked back over his shoulder. “You know you have the entire resort to explore, right? We didn’t just book you a cabin and called you a day. In The Soop Day 1 officially starts now. Have fun!”

—

Four more days. Seokjin had thought four more days would be nothing, seeing as the other members were already here, but he spoke too soon.

Nobody warned him that being all too aware of his feelings for Jungkook would make it so unbearable being close to him. Especially because Jungkook didn’t seem inclined to stay away.

It was the opposite, actually. Jungkook seemed to be fine with giving Seokjin time, but space? Nope. Not at all. In fact, Seokjin would say that Jungkook was on a mission to drive him insane.

Or maybe that wasn’t a fair assessment. Because if Seokjin were to be honest, he’d say the problem lay with him, too.

Now that he was facing his feelings, it was like everything he’d denied and buried had come crawling out of the woodwork.

All of a sudden, he was sickeningly in love.

He kept sneaking glances at Jungkook, then turning away before he could get caught, only to go back to staring at him.

And he could feel Jungkoook staring at him, too, sometimes. But he didn’t dare look back.

It was a confusing time; he wasn’t sure if he wanted to run to Jungkook or run away from him.

The chaos that the other members brought with them was a blessing. The spacious cabin was now filled with life and noise — Hoseok’s infectious laughter, Yoongi’s wise ramblings, Jimin’s sassy comebacks, Taehyung’s random singing, and Namjoon’s endless questions.

On that first day, freshly reunited, they unconsciously stuck together. They built the toy train together. They played video games and board games together. They cooked dinner together. They ate and drank together.

But somehow, Jungkook managed to do things that cut across the noise. His fingers would linger over Seokjin’s hand when he’d accept a drink handed over to him. His shoulder would brush against Seokjin when he’d pass by him in the kitchen. His eyes would lock with Seokjin’s whenever they’d glance at each other from opposite sides of the room.

Seokjin always felt as if he were hit by lightning whenever these subtle interactions would occur. It wasn’t a particularly nice feeling; it was more jarring than anything else.

That night, they all slept splayed around the living room, still a little too clingy after days of separation. Once they’d taken out more mattresses and set them up, Seokjin lay squished between Jimin and Taehyung, and Jungkook squeezed in with Hoseok. Namjoon got his own mattress because nobody wanted to deal with his snoring up close, and Yoongi voluntarily slept on the couch.

But even though Seokjin was glad for the reprieve, he missed Jungkook’s warmth.

He wondered if this was what people meant when they would say they’re crazy in love. If so, then he wasn’t sure he enjoyed the feeling.

Chapter Text

Freaked out over his own conflicting emotions, Seokjin started avoiding Jungkook completely. He’d thought it might be impossible at first, but it seemed as if the members really missed them, because they all wanted something from them every other hour. Yoongi wanted to cook with Seokjin. Jimin wanted to play board games with Jungkook.

It was easier to pretend everything was fine on the second official day of their In The Soop vacation. They were told that the resort facilities were up and working again, and they were the only guests on the property so they could enjoy to their heart’s content.

Somehow, it really didn’t sink in until now that their bubble wasn’t limited to the cabin. But of course that wasn’t the case — it only made sense they would only further level up. Their first season on the show gave them a lakehouse. Their second season gave them mansions. Their third gave them a whole resort.

When it all finally hit him, excitement zinged through Seokjin. He may hate winter, but he loved winter activities.

So they went skiing. They went snowboarding. They went sledding. And it was only then that Seokjin realized how large the property was — the grounds were vast, the mountains were steep, the forests were deep.

It was rather perfect.

Seokjin whooped as he zoomed down the snowy slopes. Snowboarding had long since been one of his favorite winter sports. And he was good at it.

“You’re awesome, Jin-hyung!” Jimin praised as Seokjin skidded to a stop at the bottom of the slope, spraying snow. Above them were drones, tracking the activities of each member.

Grinning, Seokjin lowered his goggles. “It was fun. You guys go.”

His statement was emphasized with a thrilled shout from behind, before Taehyung arrived beside Seokjin and immediately fell to his ass. But even on the ground, he raised his arms and exclaimed, “Yes!”

“Maybe it won’t be too bad,” Namjoon said, eyeing the slope.

“Maybe try the easier courses,” Seokjin suggested. “Let’s not tempt fate any further.”

Jimin giggled.

When Jungkook landed beside them seconds later, Seokjin’s stomach swooped and he started inching away as if he'd been planning to all along. “I’m just gonna — the chair lift, yeah.”

And he made an undignified exit, feeling a gaze burning at the back of his neck.

—

After they soaked in some hot baths in one of the resort facilities, they went back to their cabin. Strictly speaking, they could have stayed in multiple cabins to allow each other more space to breathe, but Seokjin immediately understood why their managers didn’t go down that route. The space between cabins was too wide. They would have been unhappy so far apart.

Once they were back in the warmth of their cabin, Seokjin helped Yoongi cook dinner and shot down the suggestion that they ask Jungkook to assist them. Yoongi gave him a strange look but didn’t say anything.

Dinner was chaotic as yet another fight about ‘whose fault was the hot water incident in the motel’ started up again. And then at some point, Hoseok spotted a moth fluttering against the wall and started screaming like he was being murdered, even though the insect was doing nothing. Jungkook, ever calm, decided to catch the bug and move it to god knows where, but as he tried to catch it, the moth started to fly around.

Freaked out, Hoseok impulsively tossed the object he was holding towards the insect, but he missed, and the object turned out to be a speaker, and that was how they broke the window for the second time.

Namjoon covered his face in utter shame.

But thankfully, nothing as drastic happened for the rest of the night.

It was when the time came to sleep that the problem occurred to Seokjin.

Earlier this morning, when they were cleaning up after their ‘sleepover,’ all displaced mattresses were returned to their respective bed frames, the living room put back to rights. Seokjin barely recognized it without the cozy nest in front of the fireplace.

For some reason, that gave him a pang in the chest.

He hadn’t thought about it until now, but the members had surely chosen their rooms already -— there were no suitcases or backpacks lying around, so they must have been stored away. And with Seokjin and Jungkook’s belongings in the master bedroom, it only made sense to assume that they were left to room together.

And he couldn’t have that. Locking the two of them in a room with the mattress they’d cuddled and slept together on… Seokjin couldn’t do it. It was too early to face Jungkook.

It was a good thing Jungkook didn’t seem to plan on sleeping at a reasonable time. He was still singing his heart out with Taehyung, Jimin, and Namjoon in the living room. Who told them 1:30 a.m. was a good hour to be making a racket?

Seokjin wasn’t actually sleepy yet, but he knew that Yoongi already dragged his old man ass to bed. So he hurried through his skincare, drank a glass of water, grabbed the things he’d need from his room, and booked it over to Yoongi’s room. He had to open a few doors on the second floor before he got the right one.

“What,” Yoongi crankily said as Soekjin clambered into his bed, carrying his own pillow. Miraculously, Yoongi wasn’t asleep yet; he was lying on his side, reading on his phone.

“Hello there eternal roommate,” Seokjin said cheerfully. He flopped beside Yoongi and made himself comfortable under the blankets. “Can I sleep here? Thanks.”

“I didn’t even say yes yet.” Yoongi locked his phone and put it beside him, before rolling over to face Seokjin. “Not to be rude, but why are you here?”

“You know that Jungkookie snores,” Seokjin hedged. His snoring wasn’t as bad as Namjoon’s, and Seokjin could easily sleep through it, but he wasn’t inclined to tell Yoongi that.

“I do know that. I also know the two of you have been sleeping on the same mattress since you got here. Why would it be a problem now?”

Shit.

Seokjin fidgeted with a corner of the comforter. “It isn’t, really. I guess I just feel like a change in scenery would be good…”

“Cut the crap, will you, hyungie? You’ve been acting weird the whole day. Actually, since the rest of us got here.”

Ah, Seokjin thought. I forgot that Yoongi knows me as much as I know him.

After Jungkook, it was Yoongi he was closest to. Seokjin once described Yoongi as his soulmate and it was true; their friendship had the harmony that his relationship with Jungkook lacked.

But there was something they had in common: they didn’t really like talking about their feelings. Doing so did become easier over the years, but they still weren’t exactly the type to initiate these kinds of talks.

“I’m fine,” Seokjin said, offering them both a way out.

To his surprise, Yoongi didn’t take it. Bluntly, he said, “Does this have anything to do with you running away from Jungkook every chance you get, and him mooning at you from afar?”

Seokjin spluttered, “What? I — he — what?” His face was heating up, his stomach squirming. “Did you say ‘mooning?’”

“I said more things than just ‘mooning,’” Yoongi said drily. “But yes. It’s obvious to me. You two went from cuddling in your sleep and kissing each other on the cheek to barely talking, and you think I wouldn’t notice? Also that kiss was kinda fucking weird.”

“Did anyone else notice?” Seokjin hissed out, alarmed. He wasn’t sure he was ready for the others to figure it out. Not when he himself hadn’t figured it out.

“Probably Namjoon. The rest… I doubt it. They’re too excited, and you know they’re easily distracted.”

Seokjin breathed out a sigh of relief. Yoongi and Namjoon he could handle. They were the most mature among the guys.

“Well?” Yoongi prodded.

After thinking it through for a few moments, Seokjin made up his mind. If he wouldn’t tell Yoongi, then who would he tell? His older brother? Yeah, no.

With a nod, Seokjin hefted himself up to a sitting position before slipping off the bed. He went straight for the cameras in the room and turned them all off.

Then he went back to bed. Yoongi looked intrigued now.

“Yoongi-ah,” Seokjin began. “I’m in love with Jungkook.”

Then he burst into tears.

The words followed shortly after, tumbling out of his lips almost hysterically. Seokjin didn’t think he was making much sense, because he was trying to fit the past few days in disjointed sentences, but he couldn’t stop himself.

His crying fit startled both of them. Yoongi was flustered, both by the revelation and the sight of Seokjin’s tears; he was frowning severely as he rubbed Seokjin’s arm.

And then it ended. The emotional outburst turned out to be short, as if Seokjin just needed to let it out. He felt better after.

“Sorry,” Seokjin mumbled, blowing his nose into some tissues that Yoongi had hastily handed him. “I don’t know where that came from.”

Yoongi massaged his forehead. “Did you say you’re in love with Jungkook?” he muttered. He dragged his hand over his face. “Hyungie, what the hell? Jungkookie? The Jungkookie whom we’ve witnessed having explosive diarrhea on the road, the Jungkookie who sometimes doesn’t wash his hair for days, the Jungkookie who picks his nose in front of us shamelessly?”

Seokjin giggled.

And then he couldn’t stop. He laughed so much that he started to cry again. “Yes,” he sobbed. “That Jungkookie. Oh god.”

“Okay, okay,” Yoongi quickly said, wary about the reemergence of tears. “It’s fine. I’m judging, but it’s fine. Stranger things have happened… I guess…”

Seokjin giggled again. Because there wasn’t anything strange about it.

Falling in love with Jungkook… it felt almost natural. Inevitable.

“Who doesn’t fall in love with their best friend?” Seokjin asked. He grabbed another handful of tissues and dabbed at his wet cheeks. “It’s a cliche for a reason.” He sighed miserably. “Didn’t think it would be me, though.”

“I didn’t think it would be you.” Yoongi rubbed his chin, looking deep in thought. “But I guess… if there’s any two people who belong together on this Earth, it’s you two.”

Seokjin looked at him, surprised. He was sure that Yoongi would say they were a match made in hell.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Yoongi said, eyeing Seokjin’s expression, “you two are already a nightmare as best friends, so I can only imagine how worse it would be if you two were an actual couple but… he understands you in ways even I can’t, hyung. And he can keep up with you the way no one else couldn’t.”

That was true enough. Seokjin thought about the way Jungkook saw right through his panic and said, ‘I can wait.’ He had to smile at the memory. “Yeah.”

“And you’re the same for him,” Yoongi pointed out. “So what’s the problem?”

“What do you mean what’s the problem?” Seokjin gave him a look. “What isn’t the problem? We aren’t just two normal guys, Yoongi-ya, we’re—”

“Jin and Jungkook from BTS, yeah, I know.”

“We’re going to lose our jobs,” Seokjin said pitifully. “Nobody will ever accept it.” And then the worst part: “I’m going to be his downfall.”

Because that was unavoidable, wasn’t it? The illusion of availability is an important part of an idol’s career, vital for his marketability. Everyone wanted to want them, wanted to use the image they put up and fit them in their daydreams. Traditionally, K-pop idols were products, and their fans were their consumers. Traditionally, it wasn’t really about the music. Traditionally, it was mostly about how idols were packaged. Here are a group of male friends, tall and handsome and talented and cool. Take your pick.

But the seven of them never really liked that idea, no matter how much they understood that it was necessary for business. Since they debuted, they've challenged that. They wrote their own music, rebelled against the system, cultivated their own images. Seokjin was initially given a ‘cool prince’ role to play, but he eventually put that to rest when he realized people would love him as he is.

And people did love him. Love them. The seven boys from Korea, whose paths crossed in some twist of fate, who didn’t know anything back then except what they wanted to achieve: glory. And they got that glory. A hundred fold.

Still, no matter how big they got, no matter how far around the globe their influence reached, they would always be tied down to their roots: Korea. Specifically — K-pop. The former was conservative when it came to same-sex relationships and other LGBT concerns, while the latter was against idols dating at all.

Right now, Bangtan Sonyeondan was at the very top, with eyes from around the world fixed on them. And higher than all of them was Jeon Jungkook, their center, the Golden Maknae, possibly the only person in Korea who could gather 22 million live viewers across the globe in a single online broadcast. At 26, he was at his prime — he was jaw-droppingly attractive, he was cool and suave and sexy, and now that he had his muscles and piercings and tattoos, he seemed to be more settled in his skin, as if he was closer to the person he’d dreamed of becoming.

But it’s true what they say — the higher you climb, the harder you fall. How could Seokjin ever be selfish enough to be the cause of their destruction?

He could never.

In fact, he didn’t understand how Jungkook could act as if the idea of them together was a possibility. He was probably being impulsive again. Single-minded. Which meant that it was up to Seokjin to be the voice of reason.

Yoongi had been silent for a while. He had his hands tucked under his head and was studying the ceiling.

Seokjin watched him, waiting. The muted sounds of music and the members’ singing filtered in through the closed door, filling the silence.

Finally, Yoongi said, “Dating is not a good idea. It never was, when it comes to a job like ours.”

Deflating, Seokjin muttered, “I know.”

“But,” Yoongi stressed, “what we’ve started out as is no longer what we are now. We are K-pop, and we’ll never stop being K-pop, but we’ve become much bigger than that.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying our fans are no longer just made up of traditional K-pop fans. I’m saying we’ve been breaking the stereotypes since debut, so our reach goes beyond the group of people who would be turned off at the thought of us dating. I mean, they’re still there, but they’re not the only ones who are.”

Seokjin mulled this over.

“Don’t get me wrong, there will be a scandal should you come out,” Yoongi stated matter-of-factly. “And we will suffer, probably for the rest of our lives. But… I think it would be accepted and tolerated by most. And celebrated by many. Or, you know.” He shrugged. “You can just wait.”

Pausing, Seokjin cautiously asked, “Wait?”

“Yeah, why does it have to be one or the other with you, hyung? Date now, tell the world later.”

It was as if Yoongi hit pause on Seokjin’s emotional turmoil. Seokjin gaped at him in disbelief. “You think we can keep this a secret? The truth always prevails, Yoongi-ah, sooner or later it will come out, and it will explode in our faces. How do we keep secrets this big when we’re so high-profile around the globe?”

Yoongi pursed his lips thoughtfully. “I think it’s never been a secret that Jungkook’s been in love with you forever, and yet there hasn’t been any fuss because nobody really wants to see that.”

Seokjin knew that wasn't an attack against him, but he felt the blow regardless. He huffed, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

“Except for ‘Jinkook’ fans,” Yoongi amended. “And me, because I’ve known you for a decade and I know what it looks like when people are obsessed with you. Believe me, Jungkookie is obsessed with you. I’ve seen the way he’d been pulling your pigtails since he met you, and I guess I dismissed it because he was young… I certainly didn’t think it was this deep. And serious. And I could never have imagined that it was mutual. You say he wrote Your Eyes Tell for you?”

“Well, that’s what he claims…”

“Interesting.” Yoongi sounded fascinated now. “Very interesting.”

“I feel like you’re not taking this very seriously,” Seokjin complained.

Yoongi leveled a deadpan glance at Seokjin. “I’d take it seriously if it’s potentially a career-ruining problem. But I do think you can get away with it. Look at the case with Your Eyes Tell — it was quite literally staring us in the face, and yet none of us saw it. Not anyone.”

“So you’re,” Seokjin searched for words, “encouraging this?”

“I’m saying we don't have a deadline like we’ve always thought,” Yoongi said bluntly. “When we first started, we never imagined we’d last this long. Seven-year contract, seven-year curse… the uncertainty of the future, the flimsy nature of boy bands, the expiry on idols… we are not to be blamed for what we’ve been conditioned to think. But we’ve broken out of the K-pop box, hyung. In the K-pop industry, we’re called old, but out there?” Yoongi raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you hear what they say about us? We’re so young, and we’ve accomplished so much in only eights years. We’re at our peak, and we’ve only really just got started.”

Seokjin turned this over in his head. Rationally, he did know that. It was his own brain that he had to battle when it came to the issue about his age. It shouldn’t even be an issue. Perhaps there was still some breaking free that he had to do.

“I understand,” he told Yoongi. “But what’s your point?”

“My point is that sooner or later, we’re going to have to stop putting our real lives on hold. Because Bangtan is going to last; I dare say it will be forever. Are you really going to just throw this thing with Jungkookie away? It’s real, isn't it?”

“It is,” Seokjin murmured, heart squeezing. But amid the pressure, there was the inkling of hope.

What Yoongi was saying made sense. Still, it felt so selfish. Could they really have this?

Jungkook’s words floated to the forefront of Seokjin’s mind. ‘Everything comes with consequences. It’s just a matter of choosing which ones you want to live with.’

“If it was just some fling, I’d definitely disapprove,” Yoongi stated. “Doesn’t seem like it is, though. None of us are kids any longer. And neither of you are just anyone, not to each other.”

‘The happiness in the end will be worth it.’

Yoongi shifted on the bed, turning on his side, signaling that he was done with the conversation. “Think about it.”

Seokjin had done nothing but think about Jungkook. Now, though, he had some new insights, coloring the situation in a different light. “I will,” he said.

Chapter Text

Seokjin gasped as he jerked awake from yet another bad dream. Breathing heavily, he glanced around in confusion, unsure where he was. There was a light on somewhere, giving his surroundings an orange glow.

Then he remembered. He wasn’t on the mattress in front of the fireplace, he was in Yoongi’s room. Turning his head, Seokjin checked on his current bedmate — Yoongi was sound asleep. His bedside lamp was left on, so it was likely he accidentally fell asleep while on his phone again.

The dryness in Seokjin’s throat made itself known, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore it enough to go back to sleep. So he dragged himself up and off the bed, sliding his socked feet quietly on the floor towards the door. Quietly, he let himself out.

He had no idea idea what time it was, but it was clear from the moment he stepped out into the dimly-lit hallway that the karaoke party was over. The doors he passed by were closed, no sounds coming from inside them. Were they all asleep?

No, they weren’t, Seokjin realized as he approached the staircase. Because the beautiful sounds of a piano keyboard were reaching his ears. But it wasn't a melody that he knew.

Intrigued, he crept down the stairs. He stopped at the last step, pressed himself against the wall, and peeked out to see who it was.

Somehow, he was unsurprised to find that it was Jungkook.

He’d moved stuff around again, Seokjin noticed. In the absence of the mattress, the keyboard had been placed right in front of the fireplace, which was roaring with flames, the only source of light in the dark, empty living room. Jungkook had his back to Seokjin, head bowed as his fingers worked the keys.

It was a lonely sight. And the music, which was beautiful but tragic, didn’t alleviate the reaction it invoked in Seokjin — the need to go there, to fill the silence, to make things better.

Seokjin must have made a sound, because Jungkook stopped playing abruptly. Panicking, Seokjin leaned back, hiding behind the wall. When Jungkook didn’t resume playing, Seokjin turned and moved to climb back up the stairs.

But apparently, Jungkook had a point about stairs and socks not being a good mix, because Seokjin’s foot slipped right off the stair when he attempted to take a step. Unbalanced, he teetered forward. For one horrid second, he thought he was going to bash his face on the stair, but his reflexes saved him.

His hands flew up to catch himself, planting themselves on the stair, and his knee landed painfully on hard wood a couple steps below. There didn’t seem to be any injuries worth worrying about. And that might be well and good, but there was no way that didn’t make some form of racket.

Based on the silence, his suspicions were correct.

Seokjin had just started slowly crawling up the stairs when Jungkook started singing.

‘Give a little time to me.’ His voice rang out clear in the still air. ‘Or burn this out.’

It was Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran, an old favorite of theirs. Seokjin stopped moving. A moment later, the music followed as Jungkook resumed playing the keyboard.

‘All I want is the taste that your lips allow…’

Despite himself, Seokjin abandoned all plans of returning to Yoongi’s room. He shifted carefully around and sat himself down on a stair, hugging his knees and listening intently.

There seemed to be something targeted in the way Jungkook was singing it.

‘Give me love like never before

‘Cause lately I’ve been craving more

And it’s been a while but I still feel the same

Maybe I should let you go’

For some reason, those lines sat heavily in Seokjin’s chest.

He didn’t like that feeling. He didn’t like it at all.

Wholly bothered, he listened to the rest of the song in prickly silence.

When it was over, Jungkook didn’t do any of the things that Seokjin feared — he didn’t get up to investigate, didn’t snap ‘Go away’ — he just moved on to playing another song.

And it was that melody again, the unfamiliar one that Seokjin had heard when he first came down.

This time, it was accompanied by words.

Oh. Realization came like a starburst to Seokjin. It’s the song he said he was inspired to write after they had that discussion about Amy and Rory from Doctor Who.

It was clear in the lyrics. Moreover, it was clear in the yearning that bled through the notes, from Jungkook’s voice.

Jungkook painted a picture of some perfect, unobtainable person, one that could be compared to a star. He sang about the joy of seeing them daily and knowing them so well, his ‘best friend,’ he called them — and then he sang about the impossible journey of ever reaching them.

Seokjin was stock still on the stair, eyes wide as he listened, enraptured. His heart had started pounding the moment he heard ‘best friend’ in the lyrics. But it was ridiculous to think that the song was about him; this was about Amy and Rory.

And then he heard the second verse.

‘The world sees your beauty but they never see the cracks

They never bother looking, so let me in, that’s all I ask

These are feelings I hid, but they could no longer be denied

It’s been ten years, how much longer do you want me to cry’

Seokjin shut his eyes. Oh.

The rest of the song hit painfully then.

‘Ten years is a long time, isn’t it?’

Seokjin had wondered why Jungkook thought it fit to try to change their relationship now. But now that Seokjin was listening, he understood. There’s only so much waiting you can do before it starts seeming hopeless. There’s only so much wondering you can take before the questions unravel your resolve.

How long can you chase after a star that’s just always slightly out of your reach? The star has to stop orbiting at some point, right? Or meet you halfway. It’s the only way that a collision can happen.

And Jungkook is fast and tireless, but even he gets tired. And he’d promised that he can wait some more, but it would simply be cruel to draw it out further.

Especially after hearing this song.

The way Jungkook sang it gave the impression that this really was just some sort of demo, because the song seemed incomplete. It even came to a stop rather clumsily, as if that was as far as he’d written.

No ending. None yet.

Because the story wasn’t over, was it?

The realization gave Seokjin some hope.

“You can come out now,” Jungkook said, and Seokjin cringed. Yeah, he fooled no one.

Chagrined, he carefully got to his feet and crept out of his hiding place. This was not the time to be a coward. He crossed the living room, slowly walking to Jungkook, keeping his steps quiet.

Jungkook wasn’t looking back to see who was approaching, but Seokjin didn’t doubt that he knew just who it was.

And if he didn’t know, then he would have the moment Seokjin spoke, shattering the silence.

“Rory must love Amy very much.”

Jungkook’s shoulder lifted in a shrug, and he looked up at Seokjin when he finally reached him. “For as long as he’s known her.”

Heart clenching, Seokjin searched Jungkook’s eyes, but it was difficult to read him in the darkness. The play of light and shadows on his face made him look mysterious and striking.

Seokjin didn’t like the feeling of not knowing his best friend. So he said, “I told you, she loves him just as much.” A confession, albeit an indirect one. Could Jungkook understand it?

Jungkook was studying him. “You can’t blame him for his doubts.”

The words hit Seokjin like a punch. Guilt simmered in his gut. “No, I suppose I can’t.” What do you want me to do, he wanted to ask. This isn’t easy on me.

Was it too late to scurry back in the shadows? Run away, go back to Yoongi’s room, where he was safe?

Jungkook must have sensed Seokjin’s feelings, because he quickly smiled and reached out to grip Seoljin’s wrist. “What do you think of the song?”

“It’s good,” Seokjin said honestly. He wondered if Jungkook could feel his elevated pulse on his wrist. “Kind of sad, but the melody is beautiful. But…”

“But?”

Seokjin tried to tease. “I thought it was a galactic love story. Where’s the space, cowboy?”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow. “A Cowboy Bebop reference?” He smirked. “A classic.”

“And that’s how you use that word,” Seokjin said primly.

Shaking his head, Jungkook just said, “I can add the space stuff later. Like…” He looked back up at Seokjin. “You have entire galaxies in your eyes. Or… you’re the moon I always need in my sky.” He averted his gaze. “Or something.”

“Oh,” Seokjin whispered.

Jungkook cleared his throat, letting go of Seokjn’s wrist, but moving across the bench to make room for him. “Anyway. Why are you up, hyung? You were already asleep earlier.”

And Seokjin apparently couldn’t stay away so he sat down, sliding Jungkook a sideways glance, wondering how he knew that. He saved that question for another day. “Woke up thirsty.”

“Didn’t answer my question. Is it nightmares again?”

“Maybe,” Seokjin admitted.

“Why is it so bad?” Jungkook was frowning. “What’s the problem? The members are already here...”

“It’s just the season, Kookie.”

“Last year, you weren't having this many nightmares.”

“Yeah,” Seokjin relented. “Maybe it’s the strange place… I want to be home… I don’t know.”

Or maybe, his brain whispered, you’re troubled about this whole situation with Jungkook.

Because in his latest dream, he was running in the woods again, this time after Jungkook’s back. But he couldn’t reach him.

Seokjin shook his head, dispelling the memory of his nightmare. “I’m sure when we get home and settled, I’ll be back to being fine.”

“Really,” Jungkook said doubtfully.

Wanting to distract him and lighten up the mood, Seokjin nudged him with his shoulder. “Play another song.”

Music always fixes things, doesn't it? Or at least heals some wounds. Seokjin didn’t really have an answer to give Jungkook yet, but he wanted to let him know he wasn’t going anywhere. Despite the emotional rollercoaster he was on, he was right here, beside Jungkook, ready to listen and ready to stay.

“Ah, you’ve been so demanding about this lately,” Jungkook complained. But he was already placing his fingers on the keys. “Do you know how much people pay to hear me sing?”

Triggered, Seokjin threw him an affronted glance, eyebrow raised. “Do you know how much people pay just to look at my face?”

Realizing his mistake, Jungkook backtracked. “I wasn’t—”

“Do you know how much this face and body are worth!” He was exaggerating and Jungkook knew it. Obviously, all seven of them were expensive.

But the fact remained that there was only one Worldwide Handsome on Earth who had a face that beauty experts would die for, and that was Kim Seokjin.

“I know,” Jungkook said quickly, obviously trying to muffle a laugh. “Believe me, I know—”

“Do you know how much you should be paying me right now,” Seokjin demanded. “You have front row, VIP seats—”

Jungkook lost the battle and started laughing.

“—and you want me to pay for your singing? Was all the money I spent for your food when you were a snotty-nosed brat not payment enough!”

Here Jungkook had to protest. “I wasn’t snotty-nosed!”

“You’re right, you were just greasy with lots of pimples—”

Now it was Jungkook who looked offended. “I was a teenager! Just because you never had to suffer due to ugliness—”

“I told you, I only look good 22/7—”

“And that’s 20 hours more than the average person! Stop rubbing it in our faces!”

Seokjin pressed a hand on his chest with all the righteousness of a saint. He enunciated, “It’s not my fault I was born like this. In fact, I made no effort on it at all. So you should be proud of yourself.” He nodded, utterly convinced. “You somehow managed to grow your features in a way that turned out to be—”

“Yes?”

“—not ugly—” Seokjin jerked when Jungkook tickled his ribs, and they both devolved into giggles.

The whole conversation didn’t make sense, but it took a while for them to stop letting out random fits of laughter.

“I get it,” Jungkook finally said, smile still playing on his lips. “I get it, okay? Believe me, I get it! You’re a god. I’m just a measly peasant.”

“A measly peasant with the voice of an angel,” Seokjin allowed, pulling himself together. “So we’ll trade, okay? I’ll stay with you. If you sing for me.”

Jungkook’s smile widened, gaze roving over Seokjin’s face. “Is that all it takes?” His tone was a bit weird. “Well, alright, then.”

And he focused on the keyboard and started to play a song.

Seokjin was left with the feeling that he'd missed something.

But he did recognize the song from the very first few notes. After all, it was his song.

Tonight. The slow, quiet, sorrowful ballad he’d written after losing his pets.

Hearing it used to make him sad to the point of tears, but the grief eventually lessened; now the memory of his pets were just a part of him. It eventually became easy to think of them with fondness.

Listening to Jungkook play it, however, was a different experience.

‘When tonight passes, I’m scared I might not be able to see you.’

His voice flowed languidly like water on a peaceful river, but with an undeniable current underneath. As if he meant it.

Seokjin couldn’t help but join in at the pre-chorus, acting as a second voice.

‘In every day of mine, you are there… In every day of yours I am there.’

As the music built up, Seokjin took over the chorus. The pitch was high, and Jungkook always claimed he couldn’t sing it; that only Seokjin could. Seokjin was pretty sure that was a lie.

But it was as easy as breathing for Seokjin to reach the high notes with his falsetto. Singing the song dredged up old feelings, but they were muted. People do learn to work around the gaping hole left behind by loss.

When the spontaneous duet was over and the last notes petered out in the air, Seokjin accused, “You tricked me.”

Jungkook chuckled. “You asked me to sing, it just so happened that I love that song.”

“Play another, a real song this time.”

“So your song isn’t a real song? Isn’t a song composed of music and lyrics? You made up both for this one.”

“Yeah. So it doesn’t count. Play another.”

Jugkook turned his head to look at him, puzzled. “You don’t make sense to me sometimes,” he said, almost to himself. “That’s… weird. I used to think I could practically read your mind but… these days it’s like I can’t anymore.” He squinted his eyes at Seokjin in a playful glare. “Where’d you go, space cowboy?”

“I’m just right here.” Seokjin nudged him with a shoulder. “But I can ask the same thing to you. Who’s this punk with the tattoos and the piercings, huh?”

Jungkook cocked his head. “I thought you said you didn’t mind them.”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t like them?”

“No, I do,” Seokjin admitted. They’re sexy, he didn’t say. “I just wonder sometimes where that 15-year-old I first met went.”

“He grew up,” Jungkook said plainly.

Seokjin shrugged. “I figured. But when did that happen?” He didn’t know why he was asking Jungkook this.

“Like a decade ago, hyung. I haven’t been a kid in a long time. Hard to stay innocent in the life we’ve led.”

And that was… “Fair enough.” People who experienced pain and hate the way they did never really remain innocent. They were exposed to the unfairness of the world and ugliness of humanity early. The fact that they somehow grew up to be good people despite it all was honestly amazing.

Jungkook gave Seokjin one more look before playing a familiar series of notes that held a sense of nostalgia. It was when Jungkook started to sing that Seokjin realized why that was.

“Look at the stars, look how they shine for you…”

Seokjin smiled. It was Yellow. An old favorite from Coldplay, right up there with The Scientist.

The original was already rather laid back, but a piano version was apparently a whole different mood. Whatever upbeat tune the song carried was replaced by more melancholic notes, and Jungkook sang as if it were a ballad.

Soothed by this softer, sweeter version, Seokjin leaned in and nestled his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. He watched Jungkook’s fingers glide over the keyboard, hypnotized.

“Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones turn into something beautiful,” Jungkook crooned out. A soft pressure landed on the top of Seokjin’s head, close to the hairline. “You know I love you so.”

His nightmare far away and any trace of anxiety gone, Seokjin let himself relax against Jungkook, who was solid and steady and firm, as he’d always been. Like Seokjin, Jungkook wasn’t going anywhere. The thought comforted him.

Drowsiness settled on Seokjin, and he let the beautiful music take over him, the heat from the fireplace chasing away the cold.

It was warm, and nothing hurt anymore. He couldn’t be blamed for falling asleep.

—

An earthquake woke him.

Startled and cranky, Seokjin pried his eyes open and blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what was going on.

The earthquake was Jimin and Taehyung, who wore matching grins as they hovered over him.

Turning to squint at his bedmate — Yoongi, of course it was Yoongi, why did that strike him as odd — Seokjin croaked out, “What?”

“Jinnie-hyung,” Jimin whispered, poking his arm. “Let’s go out.”

Seokjin went back to blinking up at them, not expecting that. “Huh?”

“I want to take photos,” Taehyung explained quietly. “Outside, at sunrise. Come with us, please?”

Now that they mentioned it, Seokjin noticed that they were a little too fresh and well-dressed for what was supposed to be a free day. Both Jimin and Taehyung were in nice, warm clothes, and Jimin was even wearing makeup.

Ah, Seokjin realized belatedly. Taehyung wanted models.

Sighing, he shut his eyes briefly. Going outside this early wasn’t appealing at all — he already dreaded the cold. But it was their last full day in their cabin, and they were heading home early the following morning, so what other chance would Taehyung have to hold a photoshoot in the area at sunrise?

Maybe some fresh air would do Seokjin good. Especially since he was remembering exactly what happened last night.

Not everything, though. He had no idea how he managed to get back to Yoongi’s room. His last clear memory was watching Jungkook play the keyboard and listening to him sing Yellow, and even that was hazy.

Yes, some air would do him good.

“Alright,” Seokjin muttered.

Jimin and Taehyung let out tiny celebratory noises that were annoyingly cute. Then they both gripped each of Seokjin’s arms and pulled.

Seokjin let himself be dragged up and out of bed, and then guided down the hallway. He looked back at Yoongi when he shut the door — still asleep.

“I need to get ready,” Seokjin said sleepily.

“Yeah,” Jimin said, pulling him along insistently. “But you have to hurry! We want to catch the sunrise! I can do your makeup, hyung.”

Oh God, it was going to be a bit of a production, wasn’t it?

Seokjin sighed in defeat, resigning himself to his fate.

He headed to the master’s bedroom, heartbeat kicking up as he anticipated seeing Jungkook inside. But there was no avoiding it — his bags were still in there. Jungkook was probably asleep anyway.

Unless Jimin and Taehyung invited him.

Clearing his throat, Seokjin asked, “Did you wake up Jungkookie?”

“We think he slept late last night,” Taehyung explained, “so we let him sleep in.”

“He doesn’t like being woken early in the morning anyway,” Jimin said, and that was true enough. When they reached the middle of the living room, Jimin stopped walking. On the coffee table were products scattered carelessly. This was probably where they got ready. “We’ll wait for you here.”

Seokjin just nodded and went on his way.

When he reached the door, he twisted the knob and cautiously stepped inside. There was a light snoring that told him that Jungkook was indeed asleep. He tiptoed his way inside, crossing the dark room to turn on the night lamp.

When warm light spilled across the bed and the floor, Seokjin took a moment to study Jungkook. He was on his back, lips parted, soft noises coming out of them. One of his hands was on his stomach, the other one tucked under his pillow. His blanket was a twined mess around his thighs.

What an ugly sleeper, Seokjin thought, fondness spreading in his chest. Even sleeping, he looks tired.

He wondered how late Jungkook stayed up last night after taking Seokjin to Yoongi’s room. Because that was surely what happened, right?

Shaking his head, Seokjin leaned down and grasped the edges of the blanket and tugged it free, laying it on Jungkook properly. He let it flutter free from his fingers, then turned sharply away.

Stop staring like a creep, he scolded himself.

He went to his open suitcase, which he’d left unpacked. Crouching down in front of it, he dug around for some nice clothes he could wear for an impromptu photoshoot.

Once he’d grabbed them, he quietly crept out of the room, closing the door behind him. Then he headed to the first floor bathroom, where his toiletries lay waiting for him.

He took the quickest and warmest shower he could, mentally bracing himself for the winter cold. And then he put on a bathrobe and powered through the rest of his morning skincare routine before thoroughly blowdrying his hair.

That done, he poked his head out the bathroom door and called out, “Does anyone have hair iron and hair spray?”

Leaving the door open, he went back to the sink and started applying tinted sunscreen on his face and neck.

Jimin entered in the middle of this, carrying the items he’d asked for. “Here, hyung.” He placed them on the counter beside the hairdryer.

“Thanks, Jimin-ah,” Seokjin said. “I’ll be out in a few.”

“Alright!” Jimin bounced off and out the door.

When he was done applying the sunscreen, Seokjin hopped into his clothes and got started on his hair. He tamed it using the hair iron, making sure the locks were smooth and wavy, curling over the back of his neck and above his ears. He parted his fringe, sweeping the larger portion into a loose wave that fell over his left eye, exposing much of his forehead.

Then he applied a generous amount of hairspray to keep everything in place.

Studying his face in the mirror, Seokjin couldn’t help but be impressed. He cleaned up well.

“You look great,” he praised himself.

Satisfied, he headed out the bathroom, leaving the cleaning up for later.

“I’m ready!” he announced in a loud voice as he walked down the hallways towards the living room.

Jimin and Taehyung were lounging on the couch taking selfies, when he got there.

Taehyung clapped his hands when he saw him. “Wonderful. I have two models today.”

“I’ll just put makeup on Jin-hyung and we can go,” Jimin said, getting to his feet and gesturing at the couch. “Jin-hyung?”

Seokjin obediently sat down. “I put on tinted sunscreen already.”

Jimin sighed. “Oh, to only need that much…” He shook his head. “Alright, just eye makeup, then.”

“Do you actually know what you’re doing?” Seokjin eyed the tiny brush that Jimin was clutching between his equally tiny fingers.

“No,” Jimin admitted, bending over Seokjin, brush raised threateningly. “But I’ve been watching YouTube videos last night, and I think mine turned out fine! So I can probably do it again.”

“Probably?”

“Most probably,” Jimin insisted. “And it’s just mild and um, natural? Just brown and other neutral tones…though I’d need to line your lash lines… ”

“This is not comforting, but okay.” Seokjin gave Jimin an encouraging smile, before closing his eyes. “I trust you not to poke my eyes out, Jimin-ssi.”

Jimin sighed heavily and started carefully brushing over Seokjin’s right eyelid. “I think you’re spending too much time with Jungkook-ah. I keep telling you to stop calling me that…”

For his own sanity, Seokjin decided not to think about that.

It didn’t take long before Jimin finished, leading Seokjin to think that he actually did know what he was doing. There was something practiced about the way Jimin worked on his eyes. He even brushed through Seokjin’s eyebrows and ‘filled them in, not that they need much.’

Jimin applied some product on Seokjin’s lips, too. Seokjin had already put on lip balm after brushing his teeth, so it was probably a tint or lipstick of some sort.

“Okay, open.”

Seokjin opened his eyes to find Jimin’s and Taehyung’s faces hovering right in front of him.

“You did great, Jimin-ah,” Taehyung praised, smacking Jimin’s back.

“Me too,” Seokjin quipped.

“And Jin-hyung did great, too,” Taehyung agreed. “There were minimal complaints. And your face is very cooperative as usual.” He scrutinized Seokjin’s face for another moment. “I’ll just photoshop the rest of the…”

Taehyung trailed off, but Seokjin’s feathers were already ruffled. He gave Taehyung a wide-eyed, mildly perplexed look. “Photoshop what?”

“Nothing,” Taehyung said quickly and firmly. “Absolutely nothing!” He cupped Seokjin’s cheeks and squeezed. “Seokjin-hyung, you’re perfect! Not even your eyebags can detract from your beauty!” Ah, so it was the eyebags.

“Yeah, you look great!” Jimin tilted Seokjin’s face up by the chin. His other hand was reaching behind him, blindly grasping for some product. “Jinnie-hyung, why so pretty?”

Sufficiently pacified, Seokjin just lifted a shoulder. “Thank my mom.”

Jimin was now holding a tiny bottle, which Seokjin could see was a concealer. He unscrewed the cap, which had a brush attached to it, and attacked Seokjin’s undereyes with it. Automatically, Seokjin looked up to give them both an easier time with it.

“You do look a bit like her,” Taehyung said.

“His eyebrows he got from his dad,” Jimin supplied, blending the concealer with one of those puffy cushions. Beauty egg? Something like that. He let go of Seokjin’s chin and Seokjin tilted his head back down, blinking.

“Yeah,” Taehyung said. “The rest…” He studied Seokjin’s face. “I don’t know where they came from. Some freakish gift from the gods, I guess.”

What flatterers. Seokjin had to laugh. “Says the most handsome man in the world,” he teased. “Aren’t you going to get made up, too, Voo Bear?”

Taehyung shook his head. “I’m just the photographer today.” He stepped back. “We done?’’

“Yeah,” Jimin confirmed, dropping the makeup products on the table.

“Then let’s go?”

“Yup.” Seokjin stood up and stretched. “Let me just grab a coat.”

“Okay.”

Seokjin walked back towards the bedroom, humming a tune under his breath. He was careful to enter again, even though the chances of Jungkook waking were low.

He went straight to the closet, where he’d hung up the coats and jackets he’d packed, anticipating that he’d need them in this weather. But he was stumped about how thick it should be.

Deciding to check, Seokjin trudged over to the window beside Jungkook’s bed, swiping the curtains open. Outside, the sky was lightening, signaling that the sun would be rising soon. Snow was still firmly on the ground, though not as high as before.

Seokjin unlatched the lock on the window and pushed it open. He stuck a hand out and immediately retracted it with a hiss. “Okay, cold, cold.” He pulled the window closed and rubbed some warmth into his hand.

Maybe a parka, he thought. Or a trenchcoat. As he pondered some more, he tucked his white sweater into his black skinny jeans, gazing out at the scenery outside. The edge of the forest was visible from where Seokjin was standing, the line of trees somewhat threatening in the shadows.

A trenchcoat would look nicer, he decided. He turned and went back to the closet, picking out a classy light gray one. It fit perfectly well and went down mid-thigh.

Once he’d donned that, he sat on the edge of the bed and put on a pair of black bloots, tucking the ends of his jeans into them.

Seokjin stood back up and inspected himself in the mirror beside the closet a final time, adjusting his coat and gazing at his face. Idly, he wondered why all the life-changing realizations he’s been having weren’t showing in his reflection. He could have sworn he wouldn’t be able to recognize himself anymore, but he looked the same as ever. Still the same arch in the eyebrows, the same full lips, the same porcelain skin.

“Why would Taehyungie photoshop my face,” he wondered aloud for the sake of the cameras, which he’d just remembered existed. “Am I ugly now?” He leaned in close to the mirror, checking to see if he had wrinkles. He didn’t. Did he have blemishes? He didn’t either. His skin was perfect. Was it because his features had matured? Because he no longer looked like the youthful rookie he was a decade ago? “Oh my god, I’m ugly. I’m retiring.”

With a final pout, he turned and left the room, giving Jungkook one last glance over the shoulder as he closed the door.

When he reached Jimin and Taehyung, who were hovering near the front door in the living room, one with a mirrorless camera, one with a GoPro, he nodded at them and said, “Okay, let’s go.”

Jimin opened the door, Taehyung slid an arm over Seokjin’s shoulder, and they stepped out into the world.

Outside the snowglobe.

Chapter Text

Seokjin should have known better than to dismiss his dreams. Especially not recurring ones.

To be clear, he wasn’t into that superstitious crap, nor was he the type to dwell over stuff that would just pointlessly upset him. But perhaps he should have considered the fact that sometimes, the universe did like to fuck with him.

Because right now, he was lost.

In the woods.

All alone.

Just like that first dream, he was walking and walking and walking, but he couldn’t seem to find his way out, because he’d long since lost track of the direction he came from. The damn trees all looked the same.

The photoshoot had started off well. At first they were just outside the cabin, then they strayed towards the road that was lined with trees. And then they went further into the trees. Into the forest.

Seokjin had been wary, but what was the harm? He was with Taehyung and Jimin, and tailing them were a couple of high-end drones being flown real time by some staff who were trying to pretend they weren’t hovering around. Their cabin was just right there, across the road. The sun had already risen, so the world was bright. And they were on resort property, a resort that their agency had rented just for them.

It should have been fine.

But there were three things he’d underestimated. The first one was how vast and deep the woods were. The second was how easy it was for Taehyung and Jimin to get overexcited and distracted. The third was his own damn curiosity and propensity to get his mind lost in the clouds.

He blamed the thing with Jungkook. It took up much of his thoughts, had his emotions all tangled up. As a result, he was all out of sorts. Taehyung and Jimin had found a spot where they wanted to take pictures in and ran off, followed by the drones, and Seokjin had discovered a trail in the snow that piqued his interest, and one thing led to another and—

Now he was lost.

In his defense, after realizing he’d strayed too far, he tried to backtrack and make his way towards the direction he could have sworn Taehyung and Jimin headed off to. But it looked like he just went deeper into the woods, because now the trees were beginning to get denser.

The trail he’d been following was lost, too.

Fear was steadily building up in Seokjin’s gut. The chill was bleeding through his clothes. He was scared, and cold, and anxious, and miserable, and all he wanted was to wake up and be back in that stupid mattress in front of the stupid fireplace with stupid Jungkook.

Seokjin didn’t know how long and how far he’d walked, but he eventually reached a spot that had a break in the trees. The brightness from the patch of sky that revealed itself comforted him so he stopped there, breathing in deep.

I’m going to be fine, he told himself. No one’s just going to let me disappear and die alone in the fucking woods.

Surely, by now, Taehyung and Jimin had noticed he was missing? They were probably calling for help already.

Should he bother trying to move? One wasn’t supposed to move when they were lost, right? Seokjin spun around in a slow circle, trying to peek through the trees around him, to no avail. It was just woods, snow, woods, snow, and more woods. And snow.

Seokjin kind of wanted to cry. He was so frustrated and angry with himself.

He wished Jungkook were here. It was a knee-jerk reaction to look for him when things were bad, simply because he’d always been there during those times — he was the bestest best friend ever, and he didn’t deserve what Seokjin had been putting him through, and Seokjin vowed to himself that he'd tell Jungkook all that and more the very second they saw each other again. If Jungkook had been here now, Seokjin wouldn’t even be the slightest bit afraid. In fact, the two of them would probably be giggling about how stupid they both were.

But Jungkook wasn’t here. And Seokjin was afraid.

Right before Seokjin slumped down on the ground and wept like a baby, a familiar buzzing sound reached his ears. Startled, he looked up at the sky.

The drone, he realized, relief hitting him like a truck at the sight of the remote-controlled camera. Thank fucking god for state of the art, high-end drones.

People were definitely looking for him now. Of course they were. In The Soop might have been created to give them alone time without the usual people hovering around them, but it was still a show, and they were still Bangtan Sonyeondan. Their staff were just a few stones’ throw away.

But Seokjin still had to do his part and actually drag himself back to where they were.

Slowly, the drone lowered itself towards Seokjin. He followed it with his eyes until it was hovering in front of him face-level, as if saying hello.

“I got lost,” he told the thing, a corner of his lip rising in self-depreciation.

Drones didn’t have microphones attached to it, but this one still acted as if it understood. After giving Seokjin a moment, it started leading the way towards a specific direction.

He followed gratefully.

There was another buzzing sound behind him, and Seokjin looked over his shoulder to find the other drone. It must be difficult for their staff to navigate these things in such a landscape, but they were nothing if not determined.

Seokjin wasn’t alone anymore.

And he didn’t want to get lost again so he faced front and focused on walking.

As he walked, he thought of the things he wanted to tell the members. First, he’d tell Yoongi that he was probably right about everything. Second, he’d scold Taehyung and Jimin for letting him get lost, as nonsensical as that was. And third…

Third, he’d talk to Jungkook, but he didn’t know what exactly he’d say yet. But he’d probably start off with, ‘I never want to go anywhere without you ever again.’

And also, ‘Nothing’s scarier than the thought of never finding my way back to you.’

This was what fresh air did to him, huh. He’d been right after all, it was just what he needed.

The sound of the drone in front of him zooming away sideways snapped Seokjin back to the present. Confused, he stopped walking. Both drones were circling the area, for reasons Seokjin didn’t understand.

And then there was the sound of shuffling, like footsteps making their way swiftly across snow. And then—

“...Jin!”

No way.

Seokjin remained frozen, bewildered and disbelieving. Was he imagining Jungkook’s voice echoing from afar? He was, right? Jungkook was supposed to be sleeping. Why in the world would he be in the woods?

Shaking his head, Seokjin took a step, then froze anew.

Because right there, a distance from him, directly in his line of sight, was Jungkook. He looked rather disheveled, his hair sticking up in more than one direction, pajamas rumpled under a coat clumsily thrown on. At least he was wearing shoes.

Seokjin’s heart pounded so violently that he thought it would leap out of his chest. The fluttering was back in his stomach, and this time, he was giddy enough to admit that they were butterflies.

Jungkook was standing still, staring at him as if he’d never seen anyone stupider, which Seokjin would admit he deserved in this specific instance.

“What the hell, Jin?” Jungkook broke the silence, throwing his hands up. “Taehyung and Jimin came out of the woods without you and they had no idea where you were—”

And Seokjin was running before he knew it. Fueled by sheer relief and happiness.

Because Jungkook was here. Right when Seokjin needed him the most.

As usual.

As he’d promised.

‘What about if I were lost in the woods and I couldn’t get out because I’m lost and I keep going in circles?’

‘I just told you I’d travel through space and time to find you. Some woods are nothing.’

‘So you’ll come?’

‘Of course.’

Somehow, Jungkook always managed to save the day. He was Seokjin’s hero.

And Seokjin loved him so much.

So much.

“...wait, slow down — oof!”

The impact of their bodies crashing together had Jungkook falling backwards, and they landed painfully on the snowy ground entangled. Jungkook’s hands came up to hold Seokjin around the back, instinctively protecting him once again. Seokjin found himself lying on top of Jungkook, chest to chest, thigh to thigh.

“What is wrong with you?” Jungkook demanded for what must be the dozenth time since they arrived in Pyeongchang. “Did you seriously get lost, hyung?”

Seokjin lifted his head so he could look down at Jungkook in amazement. “Yeah,” he said breathlessly. “And you found me.” He planted his palms on Jungkook’s shoulders and fruitlessly tried to shake him. “Jungkook-ah, you found me!”

Jungkook squinted at him. “Of course. Though you didn’t make it easy. How’d you even get to this part of the woods? Do you know how far we are from the cabin?”

Pretty far, then. But Seokjin wasn’t up for explanations right now. Lightly, he touched Jungkook’s cheek with his bare fingers. They must have felt like icicles, but Jungkook didn’t flinch. Their gazes locked together, and the air between them shifted into something more charged.

“I get it now,” Seokjin murmured. His heartbeat had slowed; his entire body felt murky.

And yet his mind was clear, for the first time in what felt like months.

“Get what,” Jungkook whispered, mouth barely moving. His eyes were flitting across Seokjin’s face, trying to get a read.

“You will always follow me and I will always run to you.” This was Seokjin’s newest epiphany. The moment the words left his mouth, he knew they were nothing but the truth.

Jungkook’s eyes widened but he didn’t seem to know what to say.

“So there’s no point trying to get away,” Seokjin concluded. “We were always going to end up here.”

Right down the line it’s been you and me. That was what Jungkook sang to him, wasn’t it? He’d been trying to tell Seokjin all along. The boy knew his songs.

“I mean…” Jungkook’s throat bobbed. “I’d prefer it if, you know. Actually want…”

“To be with you?” Seokjin guessed, finally saying the words that neither of them could say out loud until this moment. They hovered in the air innocently, as if they didn’t just change the entire game.

“Do you?” Jungkook gazed into Seokjin’s eyes intensely. “Is it — is it okay if you answer me now?”

And suddenly, there was so much Seokjin wanted to say. They flooded his mouth, tangled up at the tip of his tongue. He didn’t know where to begin.

So he did the easiest thing that would get his point across.

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to Jungkook’s.

The effect was immediate. Jungkook stilled underneath him, his entire body locking up, his breathing coming to an abrupt stop.

For a few seconds, neither dared move. Seokjin stubbornly refused to pull away.

And then, finally, Jungkook jerked into motion, his hand landing clumsily on the back of Seokjin’s head, pulling him closer. Seokjin slanted his head, Jungkook moved his lips, and then they were kissing.

They were kissing.

Seokjin was utterly unprepared for what the action invoked in him — adrenaline spiked his bloodstream, the butterflies threatened to upheave his stomach, his heart nearly burst at the overflowing emotions.

Desperation. Happiness. Disbelief. And the feeling of coming home after a long, hard day.

Finally, he sighed internally. Finally.

There wasn’t anything very dramatic about their first kiss. The world didn’t stop or anything like that — instead, it started turning a bit too fast, making Seokjin’s head spin. Sensations came to him in disjointed flashes: the slide of Jungkook’s lips against his, the heat of Jungkook’s hands on his lower back, the strong drumming of Jungkook’s heart against his chest.

To Seokjin’s utter disgruntlement, he had to pull away to catch his breath eventually, else he would probably die. It felt like dying, too, breaking free from the kiss.

“Yes,” Seokjin panted out when he found his wits. “I want this.”

Jungkook lay unmoving beneath him, face flushed, eyes unfocused. “Oh.” His chest was heaving. He looked rather shell-shocked. “Cool.” And then, “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Seokjin looked down at him in amusement. What a dork. “This is how you imagine the afterlife?”

“You’re right, this is probably a dream. This… is definitely what my dreams are made of. Literally.”

Blushing, Seokjin smacked Jungkook’s chest. “We should probably go back to civilization.”

“What? No!” Jungkook looked scandalized. “Hyung, kiss me again.”

The blush intensified. Seokjin at once wanted to curl into Jungkook and run away from him.

Jungkook twined his fingers through the hair at the back of Seokjin’s head, effectively keeping him in place. “You have to kiss me again so I know it’s real.”

How could Seokjin ever deny him? He himself wanted the damn kiss, too.

Nothing’s stopping this anymore, he thought. We already got the ball rolling.

So he tossed the rest of his inhibitions to the wind and kissed Jungkook again.

Their second kiss was slower, less urgent and more emotional. Jungkook’s lips were soft but firm. They guided their pace, taking control, and Seokjin gave it easily.

It was embarrassing, how carried away they got. Seokjin’s breath was rattling in his lungs, and Jungkook’s hands were trembling against his back. Despite the chill, they were both warm through their clothes — almost blistering. Seokjin felt flushed, and even more out of sorts than he’d been this morning.

When a tongue swiped over his bottom lip, he jerked with a sharp inhale, startled.

“Sorry,” Jungkook murmured against Seokjin’s lips. He gave Seokjin a final, chaste kiss and pulled away, letting his head thump back against the snow. “Sorry, lost control a bit there.”

Seokjin felt silly for remembering to be shy and conservative now of all times, but Jungkook soothed him by rubbing his hands against his back comfortingly. Still a bit flustered, Seokjin tucked his head into Jungkook’s neck.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around them and they stayed like that for a while, back in their self-made snowglobe. They were quiet and still long enough for Seokjin’s heartbeat to return to normal levels.

“I can’t believe it,” Jungkook murmured. “This is real? Yeobo?”

Seokjin nodded, smiling stupidly to himself.

“If you change your mind — well, you’re not allowed to do that.” Jungkook tightened his arms around Seokjin. “Seriously, you can’t let me have a taste of this and then—”

“I won’t—”

“—like, I’ll seriously be upset — do you understand that this is a dream come true for me—”

“I—”

“—if you decide you can’t follow through with this— and you know we have hell to pay just to be able to keep this—”

“I know. I won’t take it back.” Seokjin turned his head and pressed his lips against Jungkook’s neck. “I want to do this with you. Promise.”

Jungkook played with Seokjin’s hair. “You always keep your promises…”

“That’s right,” Seokjin said with satisfaction. He was a man of his word. “It took me a while to make this decision because I don’t make commitments lightly. But I’ve already made up my mind. And you know I’m stubborn.”

“Deathly so.” Jungkook sounded giddy now. “Jinnie. Baby.” He pressed kisses on the top of Seokjin’s head. “I can do this now. I can do a lot of things now!”

“Well, don’t get carried away.”

Jungkook snorted. “Do you even know me?” He raked his fingers through Seokjin’s hair, thumb lingering on Seokjin’s temple. “Mine now. Finally.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Seokjin couldn’t get any redder. “We should go back.”

After one final kiss to Seokjin’s head, Jungkook said, “Alright. As soon as you get off of me.”

It was then that Seokjin remembered that they still had to actually walk towards the cabin. His body protested, tired from all the walking he’d already done. “Carry me?” He pouted. “My legs are aching.”

“Sure,” Jungkook said easily.

“Really?” But Seokjin figured he shouldn’t be so surprised. Jungkook had always been indulgent and generous to him. “Yay!” With all the grace of a fish taken out of water, Seokjin rolled off of Jungkook and flopped onto the snow. He scrambled to his hands and knees, then clumsily attempted to get his legs under him.

A hand appeared in front of his face.

Seokjin looked up at Jungkook, who of course was already standing, because almost everything came easy to him. His hair fell over his eyes as he leaned down, but it didn’t hide the fondness shining from them. Mindlessly, Seokjin placed his hand onto Jungkook’s palm and let himself be pulled up.

“You look so gorgeous today,” Jungkook mumbled. As if realizing what he’d just said, Jungkook’s cheeks reddened and he turned around, presenting his back to Seokjin and crouching, hooking Seokjin’s wrist on his shoulder. “Come on, up.”

Understanding immediately, Seokjin plastered his torso against Jungkook’s back and let himself lean his weight onto him. Jungkook gripped the back of Seokjin’s thighs and straightened up, hefting Seokjin onto his back. Seokjin wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck.

“We good?” Jungkook asked.

“Yeah.”

And they started walking to the direction from which Jungkook came.

A few steps in and the drones made themselves known again — they must have left to give them privacy.

And then Seokjin realized what that implied.

“Kookie,” he whispered in horror. “Did our staff just watch that via livefeed?”

Jungkook just laughed, loud and easy, not a care in the world.

—

Taehyung and Jimin were all apologies.

After they got the yelling out of the way, that is. They didn’t appreciate finding Seokjin lying on the snow seemingly lifeless — Seokjin had heard them stomping around near the edge of the forest, and pretended to be dead while Jungkook hid behind a tree. It was hilarious. To him, at least. It was his revenge.

When everything settled down, they returned to the house, which had already started to wake. They entered just as Namjoon shuffled down the stairs, eyes puffy from sleep.

“Did something happen?” Namjoon asked. “Why are you all dressed up?”

Yoongi, who was shuffling sleepily around in the kitchen with Hoseok, asked, “Yeah, why were the staff outside a while ago?”

“Ask Jin-hyung,” Taehyung said.

Seokjin exchanged shy glances with Jungkook. The easy way out was to say, ‘I got lost in the woods,’ and leave it at that.

The honorable thing to do was to come right out and admit the change in their relationship.

He didn’t think the members would appreciate finding out through other means, like through their managers who would undoubtedly see the video of them in the woods. So he pushed down his nervousness and said, “Yeah, actually we have an important announcement.”

Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look at him, concerned.

“Well, I — that is to say, we —” Damn it, he was never good at speaking when too much attention was on him.

Thankfully, Jungkook seemed to understand. And unlike Seokjin, he had no such hang ups.

Jungkook stepped forward and plainly stated, “Jin and I are in a relationship now. As boyfriends.” Like ripping off a bandaid.

Silence. One would hear a pin drop.

And then, predictably, chaos.

—

It took a surprisingly long while for the members to calm down. There was a lot of back and forth, like: ‘This joke is not funny,’ and ‘We wouldn’t joke about this!’

Followed by the horrified realizations: ‘Oh my god, they’re serious’ and ‘Wait, for real?’

And then the serious comments like: ‘This will change things,’ and ‘If this gets out, it’s gonna be a scandal,’ and ‘What do we do?’

Seokjin was comforted by the use of ‘we.’

It was Yoongi who got everyone’s attention by banging a spatula against the rim of a pan.

“You’re solving nothing by standing around there yelling,” he said flatly. “Food is almost ready. We can all talk about this like civilized adults over breakfast.”

And so they did.

—

The members more or less took it pretty well, once they were given time to wrap their heads around it. But there was only so much that Seokjin and Jungkook could tell them without talking it out between them first.

So after the late breakfast, they holed up in their room.

Seokjin peeled off his coat and kicked off his shoes and crawled onto the bed, their bed, letting himself collapse on his back with a sigh. Normally, he would make sure to change out of his clothes, but he was too tired to bother with that now.

Jungkook followed suit after turning off the cameras in their room. He climbed into the blankets beside Seokjin, curling himself close.

“Missed you,” Jungkook mumbled, wrapping his arm around Seokjin’s waist.

Running his palm over Jungkook’s firm forearm, Seokjin replied honestly, “I missed you, too. I’m sorry I…” avoided you and then hid away in Yoongi’s room without even informing you.

“It’s okay. You needed space. I understood.”

When did Jungkook turn into a saint, Seokjin wondered.

“But next time you could just tell me that.”

And there it was.

Seokjin shifted to his side so he could hug Jungkook. “Sorry,” he said again, nuzzling his nose into Jungkook’s cheek beseechingly.

Jungkook just pulled Seokjin fully into his arms. They adjusted in increments until they were both comfortably snuggling.

“So what now,” Jungkook asked, tracing patterns on Seokjin’s arm.

“I don’t know about you, but I’d actually want to avoid a career-wrecking scandal,” Seokjin said drily. “You know it’s a risk, there are always eyes on us and word travels fast…”

“I know. And I mean, I do want to avoid that, too, but…” Jungkook seemed to mull over his thoughts for a bit. “I don’t want to live dishonestly. I don’t want to one day tell the world about our relationship — and I do want to do that eventually — and have them say we’ve been lying and cheating them for so and so years.”

Seokjin pursed his lips. “I don’t want that either, but I do want to get through the rest of our contract — and run as Bangtan — in peace. People have enough reason to drag us… a gay dating scandal wouldn’t help, would it? In fact, it might just be our downfall.”

The reality of that sunk in, turning the atmosphere gloomy. They both knew it was the truth. A simple dating rumor could damage them, what more a confirmed same-sex relationship? Taking the Golden Maknae and Worldwide Handsome off the market? Saying that they were together? Not only would it impact their individual images, it would make Bangtan’s plummet, too.

A gay boy band. That’s what people would call them. ‘Ah, South Korea produces twinks.’ That’s what they would say.

If they had been a small-league group, then it wouldn’t be too much of a problem. But they were the faces of their damn country. And their damn country was damn conservative.

“We’d lose so much, Kookie,” Seokjin said softly. Their titles as ambassadors. Their multi-million endorsements. Their reputation, their standing, their fans.

“Just tell me straight.” Jungkook’s voice was even. “Do you want this?”

“I told you, I do,” Seokjin said heatedly. “But—”

“I get it,” Jungkook interrupted. “It’s nothing I haven’t thought about. I don’t want to drag the rest of the members down with us, either. But—”

Seokjin pulled away a little to look at Jungkook’s face. His forehead was creased by a severe frown. “But?”

“I just don’t think it’s a one-or-the-other kind of thing. I just think there’s a way to have it all.”

“You always want it all,” Seokjin sighed out. It sounded unfeasible for Seokjin.

“Of course.” And Jungkook sounded unapologetic about it, too. “But I don’t need a win-win situation… I can settle for it just not being a total lose-lose.”

Seokjin turned that over in his head. That was the most they could hope for, but he had no idea how to go about it. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m thinking… the cameras have been on in this house since we got here.”

“Uh-huh…”

“And Sejin and the staff said they were filming the other members, too, when they were staying at the guesthouse. And they said they’ll see what to do about all that footage, or if they should just scrap it all.”

“Right.” Seokjin already knew all this.

“What if… we make them run it.”

Seokjin blinked, not quite understanding.

“Not everything,” Jungkook said quickly. “We take out the stuff that would count as confirmation of the relationship.” That included the kiss in the woods. And their announcement to the members. And this conversation. “But the rest… yeobo, surely you don’t believe that how we’ve been acting has been strictly platonic.”

“Um.” Seokjin stalled, heat crawling up his neck.

“Did you?” Jungkook sounded amused, and that prompted Seokjin to be honest.

“No, not really,” Seokjin admitted. “I just didn’t want to see it that way. But I…” felt it. The intimacy in the cuddling, the caresses, the conversations.

Nothing had been platonic between them since they stepped foot into the cabin.

And if he was to be totally honest, nothing had been platonic between them for a while now.

When did it happen, Seokjin wondered. When did I fall in love?

Out loud, he asked, “When did we stop acting like best friends and started acting like more?”

He felt more than saw Jungkook shrug. “I don’t know either,” Jungkook said. “I mean… you could say I’ve been toeing the line. I’ve been toeing the line for years. It’s just that one day you started letting me get away with it… again and again. It made me brave,” he admitted. “I felt like you were finally letting me in.”

Seokjin thought about the way Jungkook took control of situations, and the way he let him. He thought about the way Jungkook has been taking care of him, and the way he allowed it to happen.

And he thought about the way he started to seek out that aspect of their relationship, the new closeness and intimacy.

“I guess I thought if I didn’t acknowledge it, then it can remain harmless,” Seokjin mumbled. “We can just… be.”

“And I wish I could’ve let us stay in that limbo, but I couldn’t,” Jungkook said apologetically. “The more real the possibility became, the more, uh… deranged I got, I guess. I needed to know.”

Seokjin snorted. “Sounds like you.” Laid out like this, he could understand. Jungkook tended to have tunnel-vision, a one-track mind. If there was something he wanted and that something was within his reach, he’d do anything to grab it.

Hell, even if it weren’t in his reach, he’d have found a way.

“The only thing I wanted more than this,” Jungkook squeezed Seokjin to clarify what he was referring to, “was to have a career in performing. And now that I have both, I’m not going to just let it go. I want to have both. I want to keep both.”

And the same went for Seokjin. “So — okay, say we release this whole thing. What then?”

“You said it yourself — you didn’t want to see it that way, so you didn’t. And the fans will do the same.”

“Ah.” This was what Yoongi was trying to say the previous night. “Those who don’t want to see it will dismiss it as brotherly closeness or fanservice.”

Jungkook snorted. “You know, I actually, genuinely, honestly think we can easily go under the radar even if we go on like this. No one but our shippers would truly believe it. So why not just keep going? Let’s just be yourselves. But… let’s just make it a tad bit more obvious. To the point where it becomes unignorable and uncomfortable for even those who like to deny the idea of us together.”

“And then we won’t confirm or deny it? Cruel.” But Seokjin was warming up to the idea.

“Not in years.” Jungkook smiled slowly, as if he knew he’d already convinced Seokjin. “Oh, it will cause a lot of speculation, and crazy internal ship wars among ARMY, and we’d definitely get a ton of homophobic hate. We’d probably get emails telling the agency to separate us, that I’m annoying you or you’re annoying me. But so long as there’s no confirmation…”

“No one can really do or state anything categorically,” Seokjin concluded. “They can’t presume our relationship, not on paper.”

“And as long as we don’t cross that line, I think we’re good. By the time we confirm it a lifetime from now, people would have already accepted it. We’ll get them used to the idea over the years. And we can go like, ‘We’ve been telling you all along.’ It’s gonna be a long game.”

“You’re very confident that we’d last,” Seokjin noted, feeling giddy. Their future stretched out ahead of him, and instead of the shadows he used to see, he was blinded by the light. By the possibilities.

Perhaps there was a way after all. Perhaps there was a space for them in this world.

And if they didn’t, then they would just have to make one for themselves. By himself, Seokjin wouldn’t have believed he could do it. But with Jungkook beside him and the other members behind him… they could probably do anything.

“We will,” Jungkook said, with all the surety in the world. “You and I know how to build things that last. But you have to be in this, Jin, because I am. I want this. I want to see this through. Do you?”

Seokjin planted his palm on Jungkook’s cheek and smacked a kiss on his mouth. “I do.”

No hesitation. Not anymore.

Jungkook pressed in closer for a deeper kiss, and Seokjin couldn’t believe that they could do this now. That he and Jungkook were in bed together, making out. How did they get here? When did the two of them being together like this begin to make sense? They met in a cramped practice room 10 years ago when Jungkook was a tongue-tied 15-year-old and Seokjin was a 20-year-old just going with the flow. Who would have thought that they would become each other’s soulmates one day?

“Just so you know,” Jungkook murmured against Seokjin’s lips. “I’m in love with you.”

Who would have thought that they’d fall in love?

“Me, too,” Seokjin said shyly.

Jungkook pulled away to look at him. “I want to hear you say it.”

Seokjin blushed violently, but he made himself say the words. They came out easy. “I love you, Jungkookie.”

“And you’ll be my boyfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s done then,” Jungkook said, highly satisfied.

And so it was. Just easy like that. As if they didn’t just change their entire future.

Life was going to be crazy and different from this point on, but at least for now, the two of them were safe and sound.

Chapter Text

The moment they were back in Seoul, they went straight to HYBE. They didn’t take a rest, instead attending meeting after meeting. They talked about what happened. They talked about the reactions of the public. They talked about what to tell them.

And then they talked about the change in Seokjin and Jungkook’s relationship, what the other members thought about it, and what it meant for the band and the company if this backfired.

But of course not even the company executives couldn ban them from dating, and Seokjin and Jungkook didn’t want to announce their relationship either, so management were left stumped.

It was then that Jungkook explained to them what they wanted to happen. He even emphasized that he’d be toning down the fanservice with other members, because he didn’t want those kinds of actions to bite their ass in the future. The last thing they needed when they eventually came out were speculations over the whole of Bangtan.

Bottomline was, they weren’t breaking any rules, so management didn’t really have a leg to stand on. Besides, who could deny Bangtan anything when it came to their personal happiness?

“You’ve given us much,” Bang Shi Hyuk, who had rushed to attend the meetings, told them. “Almost too much. Personally, I wouldn’t want to deny you this. So long as you understand what you’re signing up for, I have no protests. Dating rumors can be just as damaging as confirmed relationships if left unchecked but… somehow I feel like you’ll find a way for the world to love this new development, too. In time.”

And that was that.

Shortly after, Big Hit released a statement assuring the public that their beloved BTS were safe and healthy and together. More details to be revealed on time, they said.

Yeah, in the form of a television series. Two of them.

—

Initially, In The Soop was slated to premiere in the latter half of the year, just like how it always had. But both HYBE and JTBC agreed that not riding the hype around the snowstorm incident would be a failure on both ends, so they got started on post-production immediately.

Before January was over, they announced BTS: In The Snowstorm via a gripping trailer that revealed that the members of Bangtan Sonyeondan were separated during that fateful day. It was a prequel to the actual BTS: In The Soop Season 3.

Both would be released throughout the entirety of February and March.

They had some time before the episodes hit the screens, though, so Seokjin and Jungkook took their last chance to be a normal couple.

It was a bit strange for Seokjin, dating his best friend. Sometimes, it felt like nothing had changed, but then Jungkook would pick up Seokjin’s hand, and the cartwheels in Seokjin’s chest would remind him that everything had changed.

They went on dates. And since this was Jungkook he was talking about, he should have known they would be more on the chill, creative side. Jungkook rented out an entire theme park — under a manager’s name — and spent the whole day dragging Seokjin from ride to ride, feeding him sweets. He even rented out an aquarium late at night so they could have a midnight stroll surrounded by sea creatures.

It was Seokjin who took them out to fancy dinners, only made clandestine with the help of his chef friends, who were surprisingly supportive about the news that they were now dating. And then he drove them out of town for an afternoon of outdoor ice skating.

They told their families about the development, too, and neither side were surprised. That threw Seokjin in a loop. Their mothers in particular had shifty comments about ‘seeing this coming,’ and apparently it was easy to accept because they already loved all the Bangtan Boys. So Seokjin and Jungkook had dinners with them, too.

Things were good. Things were amazing. Seokjin had never been this happy. The nightmares were gone, his stress levels had dropped drastically, and his bad days were minimized. He could almost believe in happily ever after.

But this was only because the world had no clue yet.

As February drew closer, Seokjin couldn’t help but feel the stirrings of anxiety again. Soon, they would be sharing a part of themselves to the world — a part of themselves that was still so new and precious. Although they wouldn’t be defining it, it will be out there for people to see and judge — and perhaps condemn. No matter what, things weren’t going to be the same again.

How could he not be anxious about it?

Naturally, Jungkook noticed.

“It’s going to be fine,” he murmured, kissing Seokjin in the temple. “Don’t underestimate our own charms. You’ll see. Everyone will love us.” He paused. “Eventually.”

Seokjin could only hope that he was right.

—

“We made popcorn,” Jimin announced, marching into the living room, Taehyung tailing him. Both were carrying bags of microwave popcorn and chips.

“Hurry and sit,” Namjoon said, making himself comfortable on the cushions on the floor. “Let’s get this started.”

Seokjin nuzzled his cheek against Jungkook’s chest, not inclined to move from their comfortable nest in the solo sofa that was big enough to hold them both. Jungkook played with Seokjin’s fingers absently as they waited for the members to settle down.

When they finally did, Namjoon pressed play on the first episode of BTS: In The Snowstorm. They were given a preview copy of both series, so they could go through all nine episodes and flag any scene they considered too telling. They were all committed to keeping Seokjin and Jungkook’s relationship the world’s worst kept secret.

But still a secret.

So here they were, huddled in their living room, ready to binge-watch the prequel series third In The Soop season and see exactly what went down when they were separated in that snowstorm. Seokjin for one was very interested to know what the other members had been up to during that time. Their stories about the same events differed vastly; they were all prone to exaggerating.

“Here we go,” Hoseok announced eagerly .

The opening sequence was very different from the cheerful and bright In The Soop theme song they’d recorded last year. Jungkook produced this new tune, and it was his voice that rasped out ‘BTS: In The Snowstorm.’ It was rather perfect — haunting but pretty, suspenseful but catchy.

And the episode started off well, too, playing out just as Seokjin expected — the members hopping into separate cars, messing around with the walkie talkies, singing during the ride.

Then came the blizzard that changed everything, and now that Seokjin was watching objectively, he could clearly see that he and Jungkook had been idiots. They completely brushed off the snow, didn’t hear Namjoon’s ‘Let’s meet up in the upcoming stopover’ that blared from the radio, didn’t notice when the cars behind them disappeared, and were too distracted to realize that the snowfall was getting heavier.

“How could you not hear?” Namjoon asked exasperatedly, eyes on the television screen. “Or notice anything, period! Is the alien show really that good?”

“It’s the best,” Seokjin said firmly. “Now, hush. I want to see what happens next.”

What happened next was Namjoon absently making a headcount when the members were gathered in the stopover, right outside a convenience store. When he realized that there were two missing members, he balked and started asking questions.

Namjoon tried to call from his phone before declaring ‘No signal,’ Eventually, he found success in getting into contact with Seokjin and Jungkook via radio. He was evidently stressed when he realized he had no choice but to let the two of them go ahead to the cabin.

And Seokjin saw that the members did try to push that they follow. But it was clear that the weather had gotten very bad very quickly, and the managers decided it would be too dangerous to venture out.

“They were way ahead,” one of them could be heard saying out of the frame. “Close to the location already. There’s a high chance that they made it. We have to trust that they did.”

“Jungkookie is a good driver,” Jimin offered, even though he was frowning in concern. “And if he couldn’t do it, Jin-hyung definitely can.”

“That comforts me a little,” Taehyung said, but he was obviously unsure.

Yoongi glanced at each of the members, expression dark. “Are you seriously just going to let this happen? Jungkookie and hyungie are out there!”

The scene was quiet and serious, and the unsteadiness of the shot made Seokjin feel tense. He knew a fight was incoming.

As predicted, Namjoon rubbed his forehead and demanded, “What do you want us to do? Go out there so there’d be seven members at risk instead of just two?”

“We are seven,” Yoongi snapped. “We stick together no matter what!”

“But shit happens, Yoongi!” Namjoon’s unfavorable word got censored, but it didn’t break the heaviness of the situation. “And sometimes I — we — have to make tough calls!”

Seokjin felt for Namjoon then, because for the first time in a long while, his burden as the leader was extremely apparent. Namjoon’s job only got harder over time, but he made himself stronger in order to bear it, and he did so with such grace. So it was jarring to see him like this: stressed and hopeless and upset.

Yoongi seemed to feel the same way, because he softened. He clicked his jaw shut and looked away, crossing his arms. The other members sobered, feet shuffling uncomfortably.

“I for one think they’ll be just fine,” Hoseok said lightly, breaking the tension. He was ever the peace-maker. “It’s Jin-hyung and Jungkookie. One has the brains, the other the brawns — they’ll be fine!”

Seokjin wasn’t sure if he was allowed to laugh at that one. Jungkook didn’t have such concerns; Seokjin could feel the vibrations of his laughter through his chest.

“Jimin-ah is right, they are good drivers,” Taehyung said, strengthening his voice. “Jin-hyung has driven us through worse conditions… but he wouldn’t even need to take the wheel because Jungkook will definitely get them there safely.”

“How do you know,” Yoongi muttered. “He hasn’t had much experience driving through snow…”

Taehyung just shrugged. “Because he has precious cargo.”

—

“I knew.”

Jungkook sat in the living room of the cabin, the fireplace behind him. It was the last morning of their stay and he was doing the post-filming interviews.

“I must have seemed chill about the whole thing, and I was, but that’s because I got to terms with it early on. When I was driving and I realized we could only go one way because we were quickly getting sucked into a blizzard, I already figured it out.”

The look in Jungkook’s eyes was distant, as if he was remembering.

“It would be outrageous for anyone to still try to follow us in those weather conditions, so I knew they would be staying behind. And the only way that Jin and I would be safe is if we make it to the cabin on time. So I was really tense about that the whole drive. I tried my best to be careful on the road, and still drive as quickly as I can. My only goal was to get us there in one piece. That’s all.”

Jungkook nodded slowly.

“I didn’t say anything because I knew Jin would be anxious, and Jin being anxious is never a good thing. It’s during those times that I know I need to step up, so that’s what I did.”

—

Watching the show was a marvel. The entire 1.5-hour long pilot episode was stressful and tense all throughout, especially with Seokjin’s anxiety attack and the other members’ worries.

But then Seokjin nearly lost a lung laughing at the second episode. It gave him whiplash. Now that the members were settled in their respective accommodations — a luxurious cabin for Seokjin and Jungkook, and cramped motel rooms for the rest — it was apparently time for the fun to begin.

It turned out that Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung shared a room, while Namjoon and Yoongi shared another. But from the get-go it was chaos, because Yoongi ran out of hot water during his shower and accused Namjoon of ‘finishing it,’ which led to a fight. At that moment, Hoseok entered the room with a towel on his head, asking in confusion if they had hot water, because their bathroom didn’t.

Seokjin burst into giggles.

“The whole motel didn’t have hot water that morning,” Jimin explained, cackling along with the members. “It kicked back in much later.”

“Once again, I was accused of something I didn’t do,” Namjoon complained.

“Well, how was I supposed to know,” Yoongi said, trying to sound uncaring but failing. He was smiling. “This whole situation is ridiculous.”

It really was, because the editors decided to cut to Seokjin and Jungkook at that moment, showing them quietly playing the DaVinci Code. And then ending up fighting as well.

The contrast and parallels were hilarious.

But then things took a mortifying turn when Seokjin fell on top of Jungkook. The editors had given it a K-drama feel, slowing down the scene, blurring the edges and going so far as to put a ‘sha-la-la’ background music.

“Oh my god,” Yoongi said in horror. “I don’t want to see this. Make it stop!”

“Nothing’s happening!” Seokjin defended, cheeks hot. “We were fighting!”

“Admit it, you felt a spark,” Jungkook teased.

“Ew!” Seokjin shoved himself away from his boyfriend — boyfriend — and crossed his arms. “The only thing I felt was rage.”

Hoseok and Jimin were laughing as if they were having the time of their life.

“Oh.” Taehyung looked as if he’d just had a revelation. “This is going to be so viral.”

—

A rollercoaster ride. That was the best way Seokjin could describe the prequel series. In four episodes, he cycled from being stressed to laughing out loud to going ‘aww’ whenever the other members missed them and worried over them. He blushed whenever Jungkook was caught by the camera staring at Seokjin a beat too long, and blushed harder when he was caught doing the same.

It was like he was witnessing the two of them fall in love. Now that everything was said and done and he was watching past events unfold with an objective eye — or at least he was trying to — he was able to notice things he hadn’t paid attention to before.

For example, he was only now realizing how synchronized he and Jungkook were when they were together. It was rather fascinating — it was as if they were magnets, always in orbit of each other. When one moved, the other would, too. And they always ended up pressed together one way or another, as noted in the captions: ‘A whole cabin to themselves, but they choose to sleep on one mattress.’ ‘A dozen chairs in the house, but Jin finds Jungkook’s lap most comfortable.’

What made it funnier was the fact that they couldn’t stop bickering. The editors had a fun time with that; they even started a tally of their fights. And they used captions like: ‘They keep fighting but neither wants to go on timeout’ and ‘Are they fighting or just passionately talking?’ and ‘They can just separate, but they don’t.’

And a teasing ‘Why can’t I stay away from you?’ and ‘Can’t be or be without you…’

Wasn’t that the truth.

But the push and pull of their relationship did work well for them when it mattered. In the face of Seokjin’s anxiety, Jungkook was steady. In moments of Jungkook’s vexation, Seokjin was calm.

It was as if they’d fashioned themselves to be the perfect puzzle piece to one another. As if they’d long since made room for each other, so now there was no other way to go. They were each other’s person.

That made Seokjin smile.

He also learned new things that were thoroughly shocking. First, there was a reason why Jungkook kept waking up late. Seokjin had already known he slept late, but it was more than that. Apparently, Jungkook was so active while Seokjin was asleep.

What Jungkook would do was stay with Seokjin until he well into dreamland, sometimes go so far as to lull him to sleep, and then he’d hop back to his feet — exercising in another room mostly, but he’d also go for late night ramen, and then drink coffee and work on his new song, the volume of the keyboard turned down low.

And then he would put out the flames in the fireplace and crawl into bed with Seokjin, snuggling close and falling into a dead sleep. Mere hours later, Seokjin would wake up and complain about Jungkook ‘being lazy and wasting the day away.’

It was comedy, really.

At the revelation, Seokjin looked at Jungkook and said, “You could have just told me.”

“For what reason?” Jungkook seemed amused. “You already knew I slept really late.”

“I didn't know you were doing all that stuff!” Seokjin thought about it some more. “You still woke rather early, though… you could have just slept in and done that stuff in the afternoon or whatever.”

Instead of answering, Jungkook nodded at the television screen, where another part of his post-filming interview had begun to play.

Intrigued, Seokjin tuned in.

“...I know the schedule I placed on myself might seem inefficient,” Jungkook was saying. “I’m used to being up all night, and asleep all day… sometimes I even wake up as late as 10 p.m. But the problem is Jin sleeps early and wakes early. If I follow my own body clock completely, we might not be able to spend time with each other at all. So I didn’t get to sleep much, because I made an effort to at least wake up before lunch.” He paused. “I should probably fix my sleep cycle, huh? I’ll work on that.”

Those damned butterflies were back in Seokjin’s stomach. Smiling helplessly, he tucked himself back into Jungkook’s side and hugged him around the waist.

The second thing that Seokjin learned was that Jungkook watched him a lot. A lot. It was practically his hobby. He apparently liked to observe Seokjin sleeping in the night while he mindlessly played songs on the guitar, or while he worked on his song on the keyboard. He gazed at Seokjin while he was doing something as mundane as cooking or putting together a puzzle. During the night, when Jungkook was busy doing activities around the cabin, he liked to pause and check on Seokjin, as if making sure he was still asleep. At one point, he even muttered to himself, ‘No nightmare, not yet.’

He was so attentive. And Seokjin wondered why he was only now seeing all this. Had he really been so fucking blind? Was he that stubborn that he was able to turn the other cheek for so long?

Either was possible.

And then the show took a deeply emotional turn. Seokjin shattered a window and rescuers came; on the other side of town, the members jumped up, cheering and sobbing and hugging after finding out that their mat-hyung and maknae were safe. Jungkook confessed to having written Your Eyes Tell for Seokjin. Seokjin cried and things became weird. The members arrived and they were finally reunited. Yoongi was shown staring blankly and judgmentally at the mattress setup on the floor and then the broken window.

They moved on to In The Soop 3.

It was there that Seokjin found out that while he was sleeping in Yoongi’s bed, Jungkook had gone up to check on him, knocking softly on the door before pushing it open.

“Is Jin here?” The only view provided was from the camera in the hallway because the ones inside the room had been turned off. “Ah, he is.”

“He’s fine, Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi could be heard saying in a low voice. “He’s asleep.”

“I see.”

“We probably shouldn’t wake him.”

“No, no, I wasn’t planning to, I was just… checking, yeah.” Jungkook shuffled back, slowly closing the door, but taking one last peek. “Um — goodnight, hyung.”

Seokjin thought his heart was going to shrivel in his chest. It was already done, but it still pained him to see the damage he’d caused.

As if sensing his emotions, Jungkook hugged him closer in comfort, even though he didn’t deserve it.

At least there was no trace of his meltdown in Yoongi’s room.

However, they did keep the part where Seokjin was eavesdropping on Jungkook while he was playing a song. Jungkook had apparently heard him the moment he crept down the stairs.

That whole scene was sweet, especially when they sang together, then silly when they had a round of nonsensical bickering, then sweet again when Seokjin fell asleep on Jungkook’s shoulder while the latter sang Yellow. And as Seokjin already suspected, Jungkook carried him back to Yoongi’s room, even though he must have wanted to take him to their room.

At the end of the day, Jungkook really was a good guy. Seokjin couldn’t have chosen a better partner.

And then Seokjin got lost in the forest. Watching how it happened didn’t make it any less ridiculous. It really was just a series of unfortunate events, with terrifying consequences.

Just like that, the show was back to being stressful — it was really well edited. And once again, there was a bit of whiplash, because before Seokjin even stepped foot outside of the cabin, there was… a moment.

It turned out that while Seokjin was dressing up in the masters bedroom, Jungkook was awake. He watched Seokjin watch the scenery outside, listened to Seokjin complain about being ugly. And he pretended to sleep.

That rascal.

But it was also Seokjin’s salvation. Because Jungkook didn’t go back to sleep. The moment the front door shut, he was up, making a stop in the bathroom before heading to the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Much later, he was drinking Chilsung in his bedroom, staring out the same window that Seokjin had been standing in front of before. And then he paused and frowned.

Pushing the window open, he called out, “Hey— Jimin-hyung! V-hyung! Where’s Jin?”

The scene cut to a distressed-looking Jimin. “We couldn’t find him, we thought maybe he went back to the cabin!”

And then it was back to Jungkook, who didn’t spare another second. In a flurry, he grabbed a coat, stuffed his feet into shoes, and ran out the house.

The frame was shaky again as the cameramen nearby rushed to the scene. Taehyung was speaking quickly to staff, saying that Seokjin had gone missing. He and Jimin brought them and Jungkook to the last spot they saw him in, and then Jungkook was running.

Drones flew overhead showing the sea of trees and snow. It only added to the suspense, seeing how endless the forest was. The show was starting to look like a search and rescue operation.

But eventually, the drones reached an area where the trees became sparse, until there was a break completely.

And there on a field of snow, was Seokjin, whirling left and right in a circle, gray coat ballooning around him, unwittingly making a pretty picture.

One of the drones lowered itself, showing Seokjin getting closer and closer. He was looking up at the drone now, and with the change in background music, it looked like a K-drama again. He smiled self-deprecatingly, and followed the drone back into the woods. The other drone brought up the rear, showing Seokjin’s back as he navigated the trees.

“That’s right, act cute like you didn’t nearly give everyone a heart attack,” Jungkook muttered.

Seokjin smacked him in the stomach. It barely had an effect.

“You looked extra handsome in that scene, Jin-hyung,” Jimin said with a sigh.

“Worldwide Handsome indeed,” Namjoon remarked.

“Shh!” Hoseok waved wildly at them, probably trying to gesture to shut up. “I hear something, let’s focus.”

What he was hearing was Jungkook’s footsteps. And only a second later, Seokjin stopped walking, startled. The camera panned to the side, revealing Jungkook standing a distance away.

In a perfectly timed execution, Jungkook’s song, previewed in an earlier episode, started playing — except this time, it was the studio version, and it sounded amazing.

‘Finding you was a cosmic miracle, I looked up and you were standing there…’

The lyrics, taken from the refrain, were perfect, too.

And then Seokjin started to run and the scene slowed down.

‘Can the moon and the Earth ever meet, for me nothing is impossible…’

Hoseok started guffawing and Yoongi yelled out, “What the hell is this!”

“I can’t look away,” Taehyung said in fascination.

Seokjin on the screen finally reached Jungkook, throwing his arms around him and tackling him to the ground. The cameras managed to catch a closeup of the moment they landed.

‘Run to me and I’ll find you, meet me halfway and I’ll offer my life to you… wherever you are in the universe, I’ll find you.’

And the scene faded, just like that.

Cheeks hot, Seokjin remained silent.

Jungkook sighed. “Well. I’m both sad and happy they didn’t show what came next.”

“What came next?” Namjoon sounded as if he knew he was going to regret asking.

“We kissed,” Jungkook bragged.

“I’m quitting the band,” Yoongi snapped.

—

Saying that Taehyung had been right would be an understatement.

The first episode of In The Snowstorm made waves around the world, with netizens and news outlets buzzing about what went down during that blizzard that previously gripped the public.

But the second episode, the funny one with the K-drama moment near the stairs — that one kicked off what would turn out to be a worldwide sensation.

It seemed that everyone and their grandmothers were hooked. With every succeeding episode, more and more were watching, until it was wildly hyped and obviously a must-see, else you miss a big chunk of pop culture.

Naturally, millions of people tuned in to In The Soop 3, too, because they simply had to know how it would end — specifically, how things between Seokjin and Jungkook would end.

Somehow, the two of them had amassed a hoard of fans who were thoroughly invested in their relationship, convinced that they were ‘not acting like anything other than two people in love.’

It became a thing on the internet. A game, it felt like. And BTS members were all familiar with the shipping business, having contributed to it themselves, but this was different. They’d always had shippers who feasted on every crumb of content thrown their way. It was just part of the fandom culture.

This time, it seemed like the entire fandom, and then some, were actively tuned in to Seokjin and Jungkook's relationship specifically. It became an unbelievably huge online discussion, with people from all walks of life conversing, debating, and yes, fighting about this specific topic.

‘Are Jungkook and Seokjin actually together? If not, then are they in love? If so, then will they get together?’

They went in circles. And the more it went on, the more they got invested.

Honestly, watching it all unfold on Twitter was the most fun Seokjin had in a while.

‘Give it up, guys and gals, there’s no point wanting Jungkook because to him there is only Seokjin’

‘No I’m not okay, Jungkook always has and always will see Kim Seokjin as the most beautiful person in the world’

‘Dispatch probably in chaos searching for JinKook’s marriage documents’

‘Imagine being Seokjin and having Jungkook’s singing on tap?! And imagine being Jungkook and waking up to the angel that is Seokjin?! Man…’

‘Came here for tea on BTS’ butchered show, leaving as a diehard JinKooker. Just kidding, leaving was never an option, give me more seasons of this bitches’

‘Listen, I’m a Taejinnie but… I have to say… JinKook might actually, you know… be c-canon’

‘Lmao TaeKookers and JiKookers slowly losing it every week, why do I feel like the world will fall apart at the finale’

Eventually, even celebrities were participating in the craze.

[Lizzo] Listen… if JinKook aren’t together after this show then I’m going to set something on fire !!

[Kim Kardashian] I want whatever Jungkook and Jin have

[Halsey] THE WEIGHT OF ALL THE THINGS THEY’RE NOT SAYING!! @bts_twt DON’T MAKE ME GO THERE AND LOCK SEOKJIN AND JUNGKOOK IN A ROOM JUST SO THEY WOULD TALK!

[Taylor Swift] @halsey dear, they already got stranded together in a cabin…

[Ariana] Not to be dramatic, but I’d die to have Jungkook write a song about me

[John Cena] I can honestly say that I have never in my life been so gripped by a reality show #BTSinTheSnowstorm

[Karen Gillan] I’m going to faint… Worldwide Handsome Jin called me gorgeous? He’s watching my old show? Someone call the Doctor!

Finally, when the final episode of In The Soop 3 aired, the internet practically broke. It was just a cacophony of noise about everything: Jimin’s makeup skills, Taehyung’s photography passion, Jungkook’s general whipped behavior, and Seokjin’s unflagging handsomeness.

And of course there was that whole bit of Seokjin getting lost in the woods and Jungkook unwittingly fulfilling his earlier promise to find him and the extremely dramatic reunion that was the cathartic climax to the tense episode and a perfect finale for the two shows. Jungkook’s song, ‘Find You,’ was played again at the end.

He also officially released the track as a proper solo after the final episode aired.

‘I’m speechless… Jinkook… oh my god I’m so moved I’m crying?! I’m not even a shipper!’

‘The fuck!! I just blew all my money to buy in the snowstorm and in the soop and you’re telling me jungkook released that song as a solo!! fuck ok lets go itunes’

‘NO BC JIN HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS RIGHT AND HE DIDNT TELL JK BUT JK PROMISED ANYWAY AND NOW? AND NOW?? IT ALL HAPPENED?’

‘SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENED IN THOSE WOODS THEY CUT IT OUT IM SURE OF IT YOU CANT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE!’

‘Don’t tell me that’s it?? I mean the show ended in a good wholesome note yeah that’s sweet but… THAT’S IT? WHERE’S THE NEXT EP?’

‘I mean idk it’s not like BH would ever confirm anything, that’s just too impossible but… we’re just gonna have to read between the lines I guess’

‘Kiss or no kiss, confirmation or no confirmation, JinKook were clearly all gooey and happy and attached at the hip leaving that cabin so I’M CHOOSING TO BELIEVE THEY’RE TOGETHER NOW’

‘Jinkook canon idc that song’s CLEARLY for jin’

‘Everytime I listen to Find You, I think of Jinkook and I CRY’

‘Whatever they are, Jungkook and Jin are clearly soulmates, and that’s that.’

[Steve Aoki] BTS, buddies… I’m invited to the wedding, right?

[Jimmy Fallon] Remember, folks: BTS don’t need your permission to do anything! Leave the guys alone, c’mon, they’re great people

[Justin Bieber] Jin, my dude, a game of pool next time we meet? @bts_twt

[Elton John] Congratulations to the happy couple! @bts_twt

—

“You think maybe we overdid it?” Seokjin idly ran a finger over Jungkook’s bare chest as he asked the question. They were lying together in Seokjin’s bed at the band’s Hannam apartment, days after In The Soop 3 concluded.

“Maybe just a little,” Jungkook admitted sleepily. He was on his back with his eyes closed, arm thrown out for Seokjin to lie on. “We only needed to be loud enough to be unignorable, but I think we misjudged how big the hype would be…”

“These things usually stay in the fandom,” Seokjin said in a hushed voice. “We weren’t supposed to turn Bangtan into the next Keeping Up With The Kardashians.”

Jungkook laughed for a long time. Then he said, “Filming Run and Bon Voyage and everything else is going to be a lot more fun from now on. We’ll have to keep in mind our bigger audience.”

“You’re not bothered at all,” Seokjin observed. He moved on to pinching Jungkook’s skin intermittently.

“Nah. Now that the shows are done, the hype will die down. It always does. When we start a new music era, it’ll just fade into the background.” Jungkook’s lips curled into a smile. “But people won’t forget. Which is what I’m counting on.”

“Hmm.” Seokjin was playing around with an idea. “Maybe we should ride this hype a little further.”

“Oh?”

“A duet,” Seokjin suggested. “Fans have been asking for a JinKook subunit since forever, this is the perfect time to finally get to it.”

At that, Jungkook opened his eyes and shifted to face Seokjin. “I would absolutely love that. And then there’ll be a dance break, and you’ll be front and—”

“Nevermind.” Seokjin moved to roll away, but Jungkook cackled and locked his arms around him, dragging him back.

“I’m joking. It should be a mix of our styles and personalities. We’ll think of something, I’m sure.”

“It can be a low-key confirmation,” Seokjin suggested. “I do feel bad for those who got overly invested and were not given any answers.”

“Sure. But don't worry, they’ll get the answers one day.”

“Far away from now?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you still love me then?”

Jungkook frowned. “How could you even ask me that? Of course I will.”

“So say it.”

“I love you.”

“Mmm, not quite.”

“I love you and I will love you until the end of time?”

Seokjin smiled, heart squeezing to an almost painful degree. “What else?”

Jungkook moved his head closer until their noses were almost touching, His eyes were mesmerizing. “I will love you in every reality and every dimension and—”

“Throughout space and time.”

“—and throughout space and time, until the multiverse collapses and ceases to exist.”

“I think we have our lyrics.”

Jungkook huffed out a laugh and rolled them over until he was half crushing Seokjin with his irritatingly bulky body. He pressed a quick kiss to Seokjin’s lips. “I mean it.”

Seokjin nodded, accepting that. “I love you, too.”

“I know.”

“Don’t Han Solo me—”

“Oh, we should put Star Wars references this time.”

Seokjin paused. “Like, ‘I am your father’? We’ll never get rid of the incest allegations if we do that—”

Jungkook jabbed his fingers into Seokjin’s naked torso, right into his ribs, and they got into a scuffle, shoving and laughing and rolling around the bed, until they crashed onto the floor with a painful thump.

And they laughed some more. Because nothing had really changed between them and nothing ever will, no matter how many decades would pass, or how far into space humanity would manage to reach.

They kissed. And they kissed and kissed until time lost meaning and the universe shrunk to fit only them — the two of them, together, intertwined — past, present, future and forever.