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“Hey Rose,” Ray said.
He put his hands into the pockets of his jean jacket, surrendering to the cooler temperatures of the late afternoon. The days were still warm even near the end of October, but the temperature dropped quickly as the sun descended from its apex. Especially in this shaded corner of the cemetery, where the bent trees hid the sun even on the hottest days.
Ray sighed. They’d chosen a dark red stone and white letters, something classic and classy for her final resting place. In life, Rose had been like a flashing neon sign: full of light and colour. But except for the bouquet of red dahlias he’d left, her grave didn’t reflect anything of who she’d really been.
Death had taken everything from Rose, including her individuality. The cemetery was full of similar headstones with similar sentiments. Anyone could have been buried there. It made him sad.
“How you doing?” It was probably stupid that he still did this, still talked to her even though she’d been dead for nine years. But he couldn’t imagine ever stopping. That would mean he’d stopped missing her, and that he’d never do.
“I’m good,” he continued as if she’d spoken, “I got another couple contracts with some new movie shoots. One of them is an action movie with a lot of martial arts. You’d love it. I’ve been cooking more, too. Reggie came over the other night and we made frijoles y arroz together. Did you know he got a tattoo? Yeah, on his right forearm. It’s a nice one. It’s the molecule for oxytocin. He got it for Flynn, isn’t that sweet? He’s totally crazy about her. It kind of reminds me of me when I first met you.”
Ray’s throat tightened at the memory and he stopped talking. He swallowed against the ache, blinking back the sudden rush of tears. Even nine years wasn’t enough to deaden the pain.
That was the hardest part of losing her: the constant sorrow that dogged his every day. Time had blunted the pain of the wound, but it was still there. It had been so hard at the beginning, when the world had continued on, untouched by her death, despite how his life had felt like it had ended.
But he’d figured out a way to carry on. For Julie and Carlos, and finally for himself. He was proud of that now, proud of how he’d managed to live with the pain. But it was still there, still a weight around his neck, and some days it was heavier than others.
“Hey, papi.” Julie took his arm.
“Hola, mija,” Ray said as he wiped his eyes with the side of his hand. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
She stood on her tiptoes and he kissed her cheek. “It’s kind of an important day, dad. You know I wouldn’t forget.”
He smiled down at her. “I’m glad you came. But… aren’t you guys recording your demo?”
“We finished it this afternoon,” Julie said, a faint blush staining her cheeks.
The blush was a bit puzzling. “How’d it go?” Ray asked, wondering if she hadn’t been happy with the results.
“Great!” she beamed. “The songs sound so good! Trevor did an amazing job.”
“I’m sure you guys did some of the work.” Ray laughed. “Are you guys planning on celebrating?” He smiled as he said it, but he remembered celebrating Trevor’s first album, and the night Rose and Trevor got their Grammy nomination. Rose would’ve been thrilled with Julie and the boys’ accomplishments, and would’ve insisted on a big party to celebrate. But she wasn’t here.
“In a way?” Julie indicated the path with her chin. “I actually brought the guys with me.”
“The guys—?” Ray looked around, his face splitting into a grin when he spotted the four young men standing together on the path. “I wasn’t expecting you, either!”
“You said I should come by more often, so…” Reggie came closer, a bakery box held out in front of him.
“Today’s important,” Bobby said with a small shrug. Ray nodded at him in recognition. Bobby had been the only one of the boys who had known Rose before she died.
Ray opened his arms slightly and titled his head in question, and Bobby’s mouth curved up at the edges in answer. Ray grinned and gave Bobby a quick hug. Bobby didn’t really enjoy physical affection and Ray had learned a long time ago to approach hugs with caution. But ever since his wedding, Bobby had seemed a bit more comfortable with it. It made Ray happy to see how Alison was softening Bobby’s hard exterior.
“It’s nice to see you, Ray.” Alex had a blanket under one arm. He went over and Ray hugged him warmly.
“Good to see you, Lex,” Ray said. “Have you gotten taller?”
Alex laughed. “My sister asked me the same thing!”
Reggie handed his box to Julie and gave Ray a hug. Ray held him tightly before gently letting him go. Reggie took the box back, grinning broadly.
“Hi, Ray,” Luke said with a small wave. It reminded Ray of the day they’d met, and how nervous Luke had been. He hadn’t known it then, but Luke was already madly in love with Julie, and desperate to make a good impression on her father. But he was giving the same vibe now, which didn’t make a lot of sense.
Ray went to him and gave him a big hug. He loved all the boys equally, but they all held different, special places in his heart: Reggie for being the first one he took in; Bobby for how much he’d needed Rose after his parents’ divorce; Alex for his immense courage facing his parents’ homophobia; and Luke for being the man his daughter loved best of all.
“How are you, mijo?” Ray asked as he released him. There was an obvious bruise across the bridge of Luke’s nose, and a cut on the side. Ray’s eyes widened. “What happened to your face?”
“He lost a fight with Bobby’s guitar,” Reggie said.
“It was an accident,” Bobby muttered.
Ray blinked, trying to imagine any scenario where Bobby would’ve accidentally clobbered Luke in the face with his guitar. “You’re going to have to explain.”
“Guitar spin gone wrong?” Luke grinned, then stood stoically while Ray gently palpated the edges of Luke’s nose. “I’m fine,” he said with only a small wince. “Trevor took care of me.”
“As long as you’re okay,” Ray said skeptically. “You sure it’s not broken?”
“It’s not broken,” Bobby said.
“Um, you’re only married to a doctor,” Alex said.
Bobby frowned at him. “My dad said it wasn’t broken, remember?”
“I still say we should’ve taken him for an X-ray,” Alex muttered.
“I’m fine,” Luke said again. “It doesn’t even hurt that much.”
“You should’ve seen the blood!” Reggie said gleefully. “It was like a crimson waterfall!”
“Ruined my favourite shirt.” Bobby frowned.
“Mine, too!” Luke added. “It was all down the front—”
“No blood talk in front of Alex!” Julie interrupted him. “Do you want him to faint?”
“I’m okay,” Alex said, but Ray didn’t miss how he’d gone a little pale.
“Alex, why don’t you spread out that blanket, and we can see what’s in the box Reggie’s carrying?” Ray said, wanting to get the boy seated just in case he was going to fall over.
Alex and Bobby spread out the blanket over Rose’s grave and they sat. Ray angled himself so he could still see her headstone. It wasn’t her, not by a longshot, but it was a way to make sure whatever remnants of her might be around were included.
Julie caught the direction of his gaze. She took his hand. “I miss her, too, papi.”
He knew the smile he gave her was tinged with sadness. “I know you do. We all do.” He was thinking of Julie and Carlos as he spoke, but Bobby nodded too.
“She was a great mom.” Bobby’s voice was gruffer than usual. “Me and Carrie always talked about it.”
“Yeah, she was.” Ray smiled at him. Bobby and Carrie’s mother had divorced Trevor when they’d still been in elementary school. Rose had stepped up to fill in the gap Morena had left, and not just because of her close friendship with Trevor. “She really loved you and your sister.”
Bobby gave his trademark half smile. “I know.”
“I wish I could’ve met her,” Reggie said wistfully. “She sounds amazing.”
“She was amazing. And she would’ve loved you guys, too.” Julie’s eyes went to Luke. “I’m sure of it.”
Luke smiled at her, bashful and shy. He rubbed the back of his neck. “You think so?”
“I think so,” Ray said to Luke. “You’re a great boyfriend to Julie and that would’ve gone pretty far in her books.”
“About that—” Reggie started.
Alex smacked him in the chest. “Shh!”
Reggie’s mouth snapped shut.
“Look, dad!” Julie said quickly, before Ray could react to Alex and Reggie’s antics. “We brought cupcakes!” She thrust the box at him.
“Cupcakes?” Ray opened the box. It was from a bakery called “Maximoff and Maximoff,” and contained an array of cupcakes, all decorated with icing butterflies in both blue and purple, just like Rose had made them herself. Ray swallowed against the lump in his throat. “Oh wow.”
“We thought you’d like them,” Julie said softly. “They’re chocolate and mocha. Her favourite.”
“You remembered.” Ray was still staring at the cupcakes. They’d been dusted with an edible glitter and glinted in the afternoon’s soft light.
Julie took his hand. “I remember everything about her.”
Ray squeezed her fingers. “Te quiero.”
“Yo también te quiero.” Julie squeezed his fingers in return.
“You guys didn’t need to do this,” Ray said to the assembled boys. “It’s really kind.”
Bobby shrugged. “Rose’s life is worth celebrating.”
“And Julie told us today was when Rose got her diagnosis,” Alex said softly. “It’d be kind of a hard day to be alone.”
“And hey, cupcakes make everything better.” Reggie beamed at him. “Right?”
“Right,” Ray grinned back, touched by their caring. “So, who wants a chocolate—”
“Wait!” Julie put her hand on his wrist. “Um. The cupcakes are for mom, but there’s also another reason?” She was grinning, her eyes fastened on Luke as she spoke.
“Another reason…?” Ray followed Julie’s gaze to Luke, whose cheeks had gone pink. Alex and Bobby were both beaming, and Reggie was practically vibrating with excitement. Ray looked askance at them. “What’s going on?”
“Luke and I got engaged!” Julie blurted, eyes gleaming. “We’re going to get married!”
Ray’s mouth fell open in elated surprise. Julie and Luke had been together for six years, since she was sixteen and Bobby had introduced her to his band in a last-ditch attempt to bring her back to music after Rose had died. Ray had always known this day was coming, but it didn’t change the rush of joy he felt at the news. “This is wonderful news! ¡Felicidades!”
“¡Gracias, papi!” Julie hugged him tightly.
“So, tell me everything!” Ray looked between her and Luke. “When did it happen? Where? Was it terribly romantic?”
“Not really.” Julie winced. “I was kind of bawling on his chest after he got hit in the face.”
“I was bloody and really pale,” Luke said in response to Ray’s confused expression. He looked towards Julie. “But I think it was really romantic.” She met his gaze, smiling with the corner of her mouth in her teeth. For a moment it was like they were the only ones in the cemetery.
“They were in my dad’s studio, at the end of recording our demo,” Bobby continued for them.
“We were with Alex. Trevor made him leave so he wouldn’t see Luke bleeding. None of us saw the proposal,” Reggie said.
Alex swallowed thickly. “There was a lot of blood.”
“What did Luke say?” Ray asked Julie, “I want to hear everything!”
“She actually asked me.” Luke beamed.
Ray’s eyes widened as he looked at his daughter. “You did?”
She nodded. “It was a little spur of the moment.”
“That's amazing.” Ray wrapped his daughter in a hug, so proud he was nearly bursting. “You are definitely your mother’s daughter.”
“Thank you, papi,” Julie said.
“I mean it. You remember the story of how we got engaged.” His eyes twinkled.
“Of course!” Julie grinned.
“How did you guys get engaged?” Luke asked.
Alex leaned forward. “Yeah. I’ve never heard this story.”
Bobby smiled. “It’s a good one.
“I bet there were way fewer guitars.” Reggie smirked. He took a cupcake and passed the box to Bobby.
“You’re right about that,” Ray said. “It was back in the summer of 2002. We’d been dating since February of 2000, but hadn’t gotten engaged yet. But that didn’t stop us from, um, being together.” He blushed, even though Julie certainly knew he and Rose had had sex before they got married.
Reggie’s eyes were wide. “Did her parents find out?”
“Worse!” Ray laughed. “They showed up at her place to pick her up for church!” He remembered how cold fear had squeezed his heart at the sound of them knocking on the door. “I thought I was dead for sure.”
Alex’s blue eyes were huge. “What happened?”
“Did you die?” Reggie asked, half-eaten cupcake forgotten in his hand. “Did Rose’s parents kill you?”
“We didn’t die,” Ray said with a laugh. “Rose thought fast on her feet, and asked me to marry her.”
Alex, Luke and Reggie were entranced. “That’s so romantic,” Reggie breathed.
Ray nodded. “She knew her parents would be okay with us being together if we were engaged. So, I pulled off my signet ring, got down on both knees, and proposed. But really, she’d asked me first.” He smiled, remembering the magic of the moment; knowing Rose was going to be his forever, even though ‘forever’ hadn’t been nearly long enough.
“What happened next?” Alex asked.
“Rose’s parents weren’t happy we had—” Ray made air quotes, “—anticipated our wedding vows, but since we were engaged, they got over it. But it was the longest church service of my life, with her dad’s eyes boring a hole in the side of my head.”
“I didn’t know mom’s first engagement ring wasn’t the diamond she always wore!” Julie exclaimed. “When did you get that one?”
“A couple of days later. We went and picked one out that suited her more than this clunky old thing.” He held up his hand which still had the signet ring on it.
“I like that ring,” Julie said.
“I like it too,” Ray smiled. “But I like the diamond I got for your mother much better.”
“Luke needs to get Julie an engagement ring,” Bobby said.
Luke shot him a look. “I know, Bobby. It’s not like this engagement was planned. But shouldn’t Julie be getting me one? She did ask me.” He laughed.
“Just like her mom asked her dad.” Reggie said, starry-eyed. “That’s so romantic.”
Alex nudged Reggie. “Should we let Flynn know she should propose?”
“She asked him out first. He should propose,” Bobby said. “Makes it fair.”
“Oh totally,” Reggie agreed. “But I should probably wait a while, right?”
“At least a full three months,” Alex said wryly.
“Like you waited for your tattoo?” Bobby looked at Alex. Eyebrows raised.
“Shut up! Reggie got one, too,” Alex protested feebly.
“And now Luke and Julie are engaged,” Ray said, redirecting the conversation back to the couple. He picked up a cupcake. “Do you guys know what you want to do for rings?”
Julie glanced at Luke, then looked at her dad. “Do you think I could use mom’s?”
Ray put the cupcake down. “You want your mother’s ring?”
Julie nodded, her eyes welling with tears. “It would be a way to make her part of this.”
Luke nodded, painfully sincere. “I know how much Rose meant to Julie… and to you. It’d mean a lot.”
“You can have it,” Ray said, throat thick. “But… it’s such a small diamond. It was all I could afford. I always meant to get her a bigger one—”
Julie threw her arms around Ray’s neck. “It’s perfect, papi. Thank you so much.”
Ray clutched his daughter, tears pricking his eyes. “Gracias, mija,” he said. He looked at the boys over Julie’s shoulder. “And thanks to you guys, too. Having you here today…“ He shook his head, too overwhelmed to continue.
Bobby put his hand on Ray’s shoulder. “I miss her, too.”
“We love you,” Reggie said.
Alex nodded. “You and Rose. Even though we didn’t get to meet her.”
“I would be so honoured for Julie to wear Rose’s ring,” Luke said. “Thank you for letting us have it.”
Julie sniffed, then gently disengaged from hugging Ray. She wiped at her eyes. “I think I really need a cupcake.” She grinned despite her tears.
Luke put his arm around her and she leaned into him. He kissed her temple, and Ray’s heart warmed seeing how in love they were. It was just like the way he’d been with Rose so many years before.
“Rose needs a cupcake,” Reggie announced. He grabbed a mocha one and got up, placing it carefully on the top of her headstone.
Julie laughed. “That’ll just be a treat for some raccoon.”
“Rose knows we’re thinking of her,” Reggie said as he sat back down.
“We always think of her,” Bobby said.
Luke raised his cupcake. “To Rose,” he said.
“To Rose,” everyone echoed.
“And to Julie and Luke’s engagement,” Ray said. “May you guys be as happy as me and Rose. Only for far longer.”
Julie nodded somberly. “Thank you, papi.” Then she grinned. “Did you tell the guys you waited so long to get married mom was already pregnant with me?”
“What?” Alex squawked.
“You should see the pictures,” Bobby smirked. “Rose barely fit into her dress.”
“Rose was a total badass!” Luke said admiringly.
“Babies,” Reggie sighed dreamily. He took another cupcake.
END