Work Text:
It had been a few months since he’d been working on his newest album and he’d poured a whole lot of blood, sweat and tears into it. He’d been going over every bit of the music obsessively and working hard despite all the bumps along the road; despite his throat giving out on him. He loved having the creative freedom to make music that was completely his own and explore all sorts of genres that he had wanted to try out for a while now. His team helped him a lot and he was so thankful for all the wonderful producers, writers, stylists and dancers that worked with him.
Hoseok couldn’t thank them enough for being his safety net and bracing him when he felt lost.
Making music as a solo artist gave him the element of control over every aspect of the song and gave him the freedom to try out whatever he wanted and he was genuinely thankful for that. After he left the band, he was at one of the lowest points of his life and thought that he would have to stop making music forever so he was really happy that he was given a second chance by fans who loved him and gave him a safe space to make music. He was more confident in his style now as compared to when he had been debuting alone and had felt like a new-born fawn trying to find its footing.
But sometimes; just sometimes, a tad bit of doubt and insecurity still crept into his mind.
Once in a while, that old habit of second guessing himself would return and he’d feel a bout of self-doubt creep in. And when that usually happened, his members would be right there next to him in the studio to reassure him but things were different now. Of course, it wasn’t like he had lost them from his life. He had left the group out of his own choice because he’d felt that it was what he needed to do to ensure that something in his life didn’t affect the careers of six other people that he loved so much.
He was perfectly happy with having a solo career, even if the circumstances under which he got there weren’t ideal. What he was not happy with was how some people just expected him to never acknowledge about his past in the group and how Monsta X played such a role in making him who he is. What he didn’t like was that he couldn’t openly cheer on his friends; talk about how awesome their music was on his v-lives; be there with them in some of their selfies or cheer for them in the audience of their shows.
Of course, they still made music together all the time, hung out at the gym, went on trips and ate food together. If he called them, they would be at his doorstep in a heartbeat. He knew that. He really did. He loved them for being there for him and these little petty insecurities just entered his head when it was late at night and he was sleep deprived and stressed.
He really needed to take a break. He pulled out his phone and pressed the number on his speed dial, putting the device up to his ears. The phone was answered on the second ring.
“Hoseok?”
“Hyunwoo –” he paused, not sure how to continue.
“Are you alright?” came the smooth voice on the other end of the phone, not missing a beat.
“Yeah. Can you come over?”
“Of course,” replied Hyunwoo, “I was already on my way to you actually. I’ll see you in five.”
The reply made a Hoseok grin from ear to ear. He drummed his fingers absentmindedly, thinking about how thankful he was for Hyunwoo. The man would literally show up at any time of the day to take care of Hoseok, if he sounded even slightly off on the phone. He seriously couldn’t have asked for a better best friend. He also secretly loved being babied by Hyunwoo and the other members and felt his heart do little somersaults in his ribcage when they were sweet on him.
While Hoseok continued to daydream, he almost missed the way the studio door opened and a red-nosed Hyunwoo came inside. Hyunwoo was holding two cups of coffee with whipped cream; his cheeks and face streaked red from the chilly weather outside.
“Hoseokkie, I got you coffee,” he said, smiling until his face was scrunched up cutely. The beanie on his head made his face look round and Hoseok thought he looked like an egg. A very cute egg.
“Thank you!” he exclaimed loudly as he got up from the seat and grabbed both the cups, setting them on the counter so that he could help Hyunwoo shrug out of the huge, red puffer jacket that he had on.
“What have you been working on?” asked Hyunwoo, plopping down on the sofa as Hoseok handed the cup to him again. Hoseok also followed suit, sipping on his coffee.
“Just some stuff here and there. I was working on the songs for Blue Letter. They aren’t all ready yet. ‘24/7’ is almost done…” he trailed off.
“Almost done? That’s quite fast. I’d love to listen to it. I mean- if you want me to listen to it,” said Hyunwoo, stumbling a little over his words. As if Hoseok wouldn’t want him listening to his songs.
“Of course, I want you to listen to it,” said Hoseok, a little miffed by the idea that Hyunwoo thought he wouldn’t be welcome to listen to Hoseok’s songs but at the same time, pleased by how Hyunwoo respected people’s boundaries. “Dumbass,” he muttered under his breath playfully and Hyunwoo just chuckled at him, bumping shoulders with him.
“Are you taking a break when you need it? I hope you’re not overworking yourself,” asked Hyunwoo, giving Hoseok a pointed look that Hoseok was very familiar with. He did have a bit of a workaholic streak in him and tended to overwork himself even back in the Monsta X days.
Hoseok just laughed nervously and continued sipping his coffee but Hyunwoo was never one to let him get away with a non-answer like that.
“That was not an answer. I’m serious Hoseok. Are you sure you’re not over doing it?” he asked.
“Yeah. I mean- maybe a little? But I need to put out this album soon. You’re already enlisting soon and I also have to do it in a while. I really want to put this album out there. I’ve had some ideas on what I want to put in the album for quite a while now and it’s really important to me. It is stressing me out a little but I promise I’m not beating myself up over this,” he said earnestly.
Hyunwoo seemed to contemplate that for a second.
“Alright. I trust you,” he said, nodding. Even though those words were so simple, they made Hoseok’s chest bloom up with warmth. Hyunwoo was always very frank with his words and to hear him accept Hoseok’s answer so easily and say that he trusted him felt very raw.
Blushing a little, Hoseok said, “Thank you. You’re really the best leader ever.”
Smiling softly, Hyunwoo replied, “I’m not your leader anymore, Hoseokkie.”
“Leader, best friend, guardian angel – it’s all the same. You’re whoever I need you to be and you’re someone I respect. So, it doesn’t matter if you’re not my leader anymore because I’ll always look up to you,” he said, feeling a sting of emotion.
“That really means a lot,” Hyunwoo replied, a hand coming up to clap Hoseok’s shoulder. They sat like that in silence, talking about the occasional random thing for a while until they finished their coffee. Then Hyunwoo politely asked to listen to the song Hoseok was working on and Hoseok was all too happy to grab his headphones and hand them over to Hyunwoo.
Hyunwoo’s face didn’t convey anything about his feelings as he listened to the song and Hoseok sat there in nervous excitement. When the song was finally over, Hyunwoo looked at him with bright eyes and said, “It was really good, Hoseokkie. I can tell you’ve worked really hard on this. Gosh, it feels like every time I blink, you improve by leaps and bounds!”
Hoseok blushed at his words but soaked in the praise anyway. He loved being praised by Hyunwoo because the man always wore his heart on his sleeves and just said whatever he genuinely felt. He basked in the praise for a little longer and then asked Hyunwoo for his inputs on the finer details of the song which Hyunwoo readily supplied. They worked on making a few changes and discussed the song a little more.
“You know, for what it’s worth, I respect you a lot, Hoseok. I think you are a really talented person who is resilient, even in the most difficult times. I don’t think I could have turned my life around like you have,” he said solemnly.
“Hey! Don’t sell yourself short! You’re also –” started Hoseok but was immediately interrupted by Hyunwoo who shushed him.
“Shh. The leader is talking,” he joked as he smirked and elbowed Hoseok on the bicep. Hoseok simply snorted and proceeded to roll his eyes. “You’ve worked really hard and you’ve come a long way –”
“So have you!”
“ –and I’m really, really proud of you. You’re going to do so well in the future.”
“So are you!”
“Every day I am in awe of what a wonderful person you are, Hoseokkie –”
“And the same goes to you. I –” Hoseok was shut up by Hyunwoo’s hand coming to clasp around his mouth.
“This is not a compliment battle, geez. What’s a man got to do to compliment his best friend around here?” asked Hyunwoo, faking annoyance and immediately cringing when Hoseok licked the hand that was still covering his mouth.
The two of them stared down at each other in faux annoyance until Hoseok doubled over in laughter, his head falling into Hyunwoo’s shoulder and the other man also following suit; the sound rumbling all around the room. Once the laughter died down, the two of them sat like there on the couch, with Hyunwoo occasionally threading his fingers through Hoseok’s hair and feeling some of the tension and tightness leave the younger man’s body until he was completely pliant against Hyunwoo’s side.
“You did good Hoseokkie but as your ‘leader, best friend and guardian angel’, I say you should take a small break for now. You deserve it,” he said, resting a chin on top of Hoseok’s head.
Hoseok let out a huff of air and said, “Alright. But only if my guardian angel orders me a bowl of ramyun.”
“I’ll buy you a whole ramyun shop if you say the word, Hoseokkie,” he said softly.
“That sounds tempting but I need to keep up a healthy diet if I have to maintain my fitness routine. But maybe later…once we’re all retired,” he mumbled.
“Yeah? You’d like that? To get away from the idol life once it’s all over and open a little restaurant somewhere?”
“That sounds nice,” said Hoseok, shifting his head to look up at Hyunwoo. Then a cheeky grin broke out on his face and he said, “You and Kihyun can be the chefs and I’ll be the pretty guy that lures people into the restaurant.”
Hyunwoo snorted and said, “All right. Let’s pump the brakes on using your devilish charms and think about which ramyun you want to order for now. And I’ll call the others and ask them to come too.”
Hoseok laughed and agreed. Hyunwoo shuffled around a little to pull his phone out of his pocket and send a message in the group chat. Hoseok couldn’t see Hyunwoo’s phone as he had his face buried in the curve of the man’s neck but his own phone vibrated in his back pocket as everyone blew up the group chat debating where to order ramyun from in the dead of the night.
Hoseok felt Hyunwoo’s chest rumble with the occasional huff of laughter as the man eyed the conversation in the group chat but the hand in his hair never stilled and he felt himself slowly losing all the stress from the day.
“You know Hoseok, for what it’s worth, I’m here for you 24/7 too,” whispered Hyunwoo softly, referring to the song Hoseok had just let him listen to. “And so are all the others. That’s never going to change.”
Hoseok didn’t reply but he was sure that Hyunwoo felt his lips curling up into a smile against his neck. He simply sat there and enjoyed the smell of coffee in the air, the taste of whipped cream on his lips and the warmth from Hyunwoo’s body radiating around him. He tightened his hands around Hyunwoo’s midriff and eyed the man to see if it was okay. Hoseok was greeted with Hyunwoo’s scrunched up smile and deep eyes that held a whole ocean’s worth of emotion.
Hoseok really appreciated him for dropping everything just to cuddle on the couch because he called him up and asked him to come over. Though this moment was so domestic and so comfortable, it felt important and Hoseok wondered for a second if this is what falling in love felt like.
He thought back to all his interactions with his members – from Jooheon writing songs with him, to Kihyun helping him improve his vocal technique, to Changkyun defending him when he let himself be pushed around, to Minhyuk being so easily affectionate with him, to Hyungwon always acknowledging his hard work and Hyunwoo taking care of him when he fell sick – he realized that he had fallen in love thousands of times.
He was struck by a sudden bout of inspiration and he knew exactly what his next song was going to be about. Hoseok held Hyunwoo tighter in his arms and stayed there even as the members slowly started filtering into the studio and the smell of delicious food penetrated every corner of the room. He would work on the new song tomorrow.
Tonight, he would just enjoy the smell of ramyun in the air, the chatter of all his friends who had gathered in the studio, the feel of Hyunwoo’s hand was in his hair and the weight of Changkun’s head on his thigh.
Hoseok was sure that there was nowhere he’d rather be than here.