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Ayato was looking for Thoma around their house - The Chief Retainer was probably either sparring with his little sister or - Well ... Cleaning and doing his other jobs.
He sighs, already considering going out to look for the other man even if he wasn’t so fond of going out instead of asking his own sister who was probably keeping around Thoma.
“Is he at Komore Teahouse?” he asks no one in particular.
Ayato decided to go there anyways. He regrets it quite a bit - But he had to talk to the other man. When he arrived, Thoma was, indeed - In the teahouse. With no Ayaka on sight - Well, that was ... Interesting. Just Thoma and Taroumaru.
“Ayato, what brings you here?” Thoma asked with his usual bright smile.
“I wish to talk,” he told Thoma - Oddly coming off as a formal one like when Thoma swore loyalty to them. “... Not about politics or work - Simply ... about personal things,”
“Talk about what?” his smile instantly dropped. Ayato’s tone was sharp - Sharp enough to cut the apple that he was holding. “Is something the matter?”
“Something matters well indeed,” he comes closer to Thoma.
“... Feelings,” he rubs his temples. “It has something to do with those, Thoma,”
“Feelings? What kind?” Thoma walked over to him worriedly, placing his calloused hand on top of Ayato’s forehead. “Are you feeling hot?”
Ayato gently chides Thoma’s hand off.
“Not of that sort ... I meant the - One that has to do with emotions and all,” he looks up at the man. “I supposed you’ve at least heard of Ayaka’s ... Infatuation with the Traveler? Mine is ... Something of the sort - Not for the Traveler, but …”
“You have feelings for someone?” he gently takes Ayato’s hands to his chest. “I’m glad you finally have someone you like, do you wish to confess to them anytime soon?”
Not yet - Thoma hopes.
If Ayato had harboured feelings for someone and would confess soon, then Thoma would have to discard his own. So he takes what he can for now - Taking the other man’s hand to his chest and feeling its warmth. This might be his last chance - Especially if the person Ayato liked were to reciprocate his feelings.
“Ah ... Not just someone -”he swallows. “That was what I was here for, Thoma,”
What was he here for exactly, then? Thoma thinks.
“To confess .”
To whom? Thoma swallows his bile hard.
“To you .”
But Thoma was simply a subject - A servant to the Yashiro Commission. He couldn’t possibly be together with his Commissioner - He couldn’t get together with his Master .
“Ayato - I - I’m sorry but I have to object,” he quickly lets go of Ayato’s hand. “You deserve someone better,”
“You ... Didn’t even listen,” Ayato shook his head. “I understand - You want to keep our current relationship as is. but you must know that there will certainly be no one better than you,”
“Ayato,” Thoma cleped.
“What you truly deserve is a young and beautiful maiden, someone who is able to bear your progeny,” he reasoned in a calm tone - But deep inside - Far too deeply, his desire to just kiss the man was burning him inside too much right there and then. Unfortunately, he wasn’t deserving - He knew he had to push the other man away. “Not someone like me , a housekeeper made Chief Retainer - And not to mention, I’m a guy ... Your clan elders and ancestors will certainly not approve of this - I can not bear your children,”
“A housekeeper ?” he winced at the tone Thoma used for himself. “We didn’t just keep you as a housekeeper, Thoma. You were the one that asked for it - You wished for it. Why are you now, just calling yourself a mere one? Ayaka could be the one to bear the progeny of our clan,”
“Thoma, just so you know, I wouldn’t be letting you go anytime soon .”
“But ... Ayato,” he tried to think of another reason - But there wasn’t any popping up in his mind.
“What do you wish to eat today?” he brushed off the topic, they couldn’t be together - No reasons needed - He was just their housekeeper and Chief Retainer. He was way out of Ayato’s league.
“ Eat ? What do I want to eat ? I won’t be answering that,” Ayato stares directly at Thoma’s sage eyes while his fingers tap the table patiently. “You’re just trying to put your duties in front of me. I do that too as the current head of our clan - Especially to you and Ayaka and I am not new to your tactics, Thoma. You’ve become easy to read,”
“Haven’t I already given my answer? We can’t be together, Ayato,” the look on Ayato’s eyes made Thoma want to turn away, so he did. He couldn’t look at him anymore; The feeling of guilt was eating him.
“Yes, you did. But I also said I will not give you up easily,” he reminds. “Unlike Ayaka who accepted that the Traveler had not harboured the same feelings for her, I wouldn’t just accept it as easily. You should know this - Or have you forgotten mine and my little sister’s differences just as quickly as you lower yourself down?”
“You’re deserving. I won’t listen otherwise.”
Thoma sighed, feeling the need to talk harshly in order for the other man to stop, "Ayato, are you really this stubborn? Then I will also keep rejecting your confession.”
“Okay, and?” Ayato smirked - Pausing his taps. “This will be as easy as making you eat food I already tampered with. Don’t give up, Thoma. I would like to see your attempts in rejection~”
“I have feelings for your sister,” he says - Although it was fake. ‘Good luck on trying - But you’re really wasting your time,”
“Ayaka would reject you,” he sighs in a forlorn manner - Unsure if it was for Thoma or for himself. “I would rather waste my time than look for a replacement,”
“That’s why I chose not to confess,” Thoma groaned in annoyance - Trying to sound rude. “I advise you to look for a replacement instead, at least then you’d be successful. I mean - Who wouldn’t like you - Tall, handsome - Not to mention stubborn. Very ,”
“I will not listen to your advice,” Ayato continues teasingly. “And your words - Quite funny coming from you who is trying to reject me , yes?”
“Well not for me - I view you as my master - as my friend. Nothing more, nothing less,” Thoma replied.
Lies - Lies . He viewed Ayato as much more. But he keeps on lying.
“My job is to care for you, not be with you.”
But Thoma harboured feelings - And so did Ayato just because of this.
“Do you want your clan to be disgusted with you? If not - then I suggest you move on.”
“But aren’t I the head of the clan?” Ayato goes back to tapping. “Thoma, Thoma~ I went out for you - Yet you do this to me. I’m the head of the clan, elders would be like that - As you said - But they really don’t get a say in my own life, yes? Ayaka can take care of the family face and other affairs outside of government ones!”
“You are but - They’ll judge you if you’re - Dating a lowly man like me,” Thoma looks down.
“I am way out of your league, Ayato. You should just - Find someone better - A stunning and kind woman ... Not a man.”
Ayato focused his eyes solely on the man looking down before him. What was so wrong with Thoma being a man when falling in love wasn’t a crime?
“Tell me exactly, what part of your loyalty is lowly ?” he wanted to raise up Thoma’s face so he could look him in the eye but he simply doesn’t. Except, he says, “I have bent the rules - In terms of roles and more so many times for you - What’s more with bending it again?”
“Stop ... Please,” thoma begs, he didn’t have the mental energy to speak to Ayato. He doesn’t have the power to reject him too much.
“No matter how many times you confess to me, Ayato - I will always say no.”
For your sake. So that you wouldn’t be judged. And because you simply deserve better - He wishes to add, but he doesn’t because Ayato was stubborn and wouldn’t listen.
“It will take you more than that to push me away,” he states but stands up, sweeping himself up from the chair gracefully as he was about to exit and head back to the estate. “But I suppose we can end this here for now. I will see you later at dinner with Ayaka. Do not try to push your work in order to avoid it. Else, I would simply make a change or not do my own work just to see you again - like today,”
He stared at Ayato in disbelief, groaning as he buried his face into his palms, “I will not attend dinner later.”
“Hence I will also not take care of my own work,” he flashes a smile before finally going home.
It simply drops as soon as he entered the estate once more - Going back into thinking of a way to get Thoma one way or another no matter how long it took. He knew the other man for quite long - What would be the use to give up now - When he was able to read him through too? That was why feelings were harboured in the first place anyway.
Thoma stayed true to his words, he didn’t show up during dinner. Instead, he ate at his father’s house.
One day after that made ayato think - He went to his office but he really just sat around and did nothing.
A week later, he was there wallowing like some wilting flower - Not doing work and not even being playful towards his sister. Very quiet as he kept racking his brains for some sort of way to get Thoma.
A month - He had ink stains all over him but no work was actually finished, it was only him playing around and acting like a child. Paper scattered yet also stocking up on his desk. He wasn’t about to let go yet - Not when Thoma had sworn loyalty.
Two months more - He tried to regain himself. he really couldn’t rid of the paperwork on his desk - He was unable to get rid of his work. He finally went out again with a proper haori - And hair tied up, not anymore a dishevelled mess. But his eyes were obviously filled with whatever else he had on his mind.
Ayaka had been observing her brother for the past three months.
She eventually grew worried when he wasn’t doing any work - Just sitting there - Looking heartbroken even though he was being playful and childish - Perhaps, does it have something to do with their Chief Retainer?
Speaking of the housekeeper, where was he? Ayaka also noticed that Thoma has been avoiding them. She was determined to find out what happened - So she decided to approach her brother.
When Ayato had seen his little sister approach him - He had all the more reason to fix himself and try to act normal.
“Ayaka,” he awkwardly chuckles - Wishing he had a handy fan in hand to cover his face at that exact moment just like Ayaka. “What’s the matter?”
She turned her wrist upside-down to bring the dropped spokes of the hand fan up, “Brother, I have come to ask you why have you been moping around these past three months?”
“ Me ?” Ayato pointed to himself. He had no valid excuse other than Thoma and his sister would probably question him even more.
“... Maybe I got tired of work. It’s quite boring -” Lies . He only ever hid inside his office and did work almost all the time. “- So, do you know where our dear little Thoma is? It feels like I barely see him around these days,”
“ Thoma ?” she tilted her head in confusion. Something must have happened between the two. “Haven’t you heard? He asked to stay at his father’s house for the meantime,”
“So, he really did it,” Ayato nods, placing a hand over his face and beginning to go back into contemplation. “You know - Thoma said he likes you. After I said I like him, that is. What do you say about the situation now?”
“ Thoma ? Likes me ? But he told me four months ago that it was you who he likes -” she paused for a while. Her eyes widening at what she said, it was supposed to be hers and Thoma’s little secret.
“My dearest sister - Thank you very much for that information!” he beamed up - Eyes closing as he smiled brightly.
Almost dashing out of the estate but he remembered that the streets of Inazuma would most likely be filled with people that could see his face and he did not like the sound of that - He went back to his room to search for a veil that would cover the lower half of his face before going out.
Why, exactly? Simple, he had no fan like Ayaka and could not cover his face when he had such ... Expressions, so a veil suffices.
Bidding his sister a quick goodbye, he went out to search for Thoma.
On the other hand, Thoma was lost in his thoughts while wiping the windows of his father’s house. He heard from Ayaka that her brother was disregarding his work.
Probably being a child again - But managing to keep at his word.
Quite some time after going around - Ayato had seen the familiar blond and the same red jacket thoma always had and wore, making him jump around and run to the other.
“Thoma ~” he calls with a particular grin. “Is this really your attempt in rejection? Avoidance?”
“Ah ~ You know, I really thank Ayaka for spilling your little secret,” he steps closer to the blonde as he continues to tease. “Really. In denial, are you not? What’s there to be afraid of?”
“What little secret?” he asked. Turning his head back to face the other. “Well ... I am afraid of your clan and what they might do to me ... Yes, you might be the head - But would they like it if you marry a lowly man like me?”
“I have to admit, yes, I do harbour the same feelings as you. But you know that we can’t - We’re forbidden ... A man and a man ... Would you like your people to be disgusted with you?”
“I could eliminate them if you’re afraid of threats,” Ayato says sharply while innocently batting his eyes - It was scary. “My blade hasn’t been touched for long but my skill with it hasn’t declined,”
“They are simply the ‘clan’ and ‘people.’ Do you really think they should dictate how we deal with our feelings? Surely, you wouldn’t forget who the master is between clan and people? I do not care if they are disgusted. My hospitality and kindness stretches far wide but I believe you understand I don’t condone whatever behaviour you’re so scared of.”
After processing what the other said, Thoma mumbled a faint fine. He really couldn’t deny his feelings any longer - Not if Ayato was so persistent to even go to such lengths.
“See, your stubbornness wouldn’t even equate to mine,” Ayato laughed, patting Thoma’s back since the other was looking away. “Let’s go home. I must’ve scared Ayaka with the way I dashed out. And piles - I have ... piles of work,”
“I - I wish to stay here …” he gripped the other’s shirt tightly. “I don’t want to serve as a distraction. You have piles of work because of me - Accepting your confession was enough, right?”
“Distraction? When have I treated you as one?” Ayato frowned. “I didn’t do my work because I didn’t want to. But okay ... Maybe just maybe ... I’ll let you off today - And I’ll do my work. If I clear them, you’re going back, yes?”
“I will,” he smiles reassuringly. “I’ll go back to the estate and maybe ... We can go have a date,”
Ayato made sure to take one last look at Thoma to ensure that what the other was saying were true before excitedly nodding like a kid.
“Alright. I’ll finish those quick,” he took off his veil just so he could land a little kiss on Thoma’s cheek before swiftly putting it back on and merrily walking back to the estate.
Before he could process what happened, he ran to Ayato to stop him from his tracks - Pulling off the veil he was using to cover his face just so he could place a soft and passionate kiss on his lips.
Surprised at his own actions, he immediately ran inside his father’s house, as red as a tomato.
The rest of the day was just filled with Ayato going through his work in his office - The laughs and music of the rest of the workers in the estate making him even more dedicated to finishing his piles and piles of work. Only because if he’d finished it early and quick, the faster Thoma would come and join those familiar jingles of laughter ...
Although he might have forgotten that yes, even though he liked working and all, he was probably not going to finish all those in one night.
He’d fallen asleep on his desk for the night after clearing what seemed like a quarter of all his work - Still holding onto his brush while his head rested on his other hand. His hair tie was loosening while his haori acted like a blanket as the cold night wind passed on until the morning.
Thoma spent his morning cooking and preparing food for Ayato.
He decided to visit the other man to offer his support. On his way to the estate, he jovially greeted Ayaka a good morning before asking her where her brother was.
Thoma entered Ayato’s office with a grin but was quickly replaced with a soft smile after seeing the other sleeping peacefully. He walked over behind him, patting his back lightly, “Ayato, wake up. it’s already late.”
Ayato - Being Ayato, a light sleeper, woke at the light pats on his back and the call. Unsteadily wiping his eyes as he swayed lightly. Still quite dazed but very well knowing who woke him up.
“Hello, Thoma,” he mumbled faintly while sitting up properly and ridding some of the paper in his desk. “What time is it now?”
“It’s …” Thoma knitted his eyebrows together.
“The last time I checked, it was eleven thirty in the morning,” he ruffled the other’s hair, gingerly placing a kiss on his forehead.
“Almost noon ... It is quite late, I suppose. Still nothing too bad,” he sighed - Thoma’s actions were probably gonna get him to wake up by the end of the little talk they were currently having. “But it’s quite understandable. I do have months equivalent of work stocked up that I will be trying to work through for the following days. You shouldn’t worry about it though,”
“Do you want me to eat lunch with you or -” he shyly asked. He was quite the confident type but - When it comes to Ayato - He suddenly felt like he was melting.
“You haven’t eaten?” Ayato picked up his haori, folding it onto his lap and removing the already loose hair tie. “Give me a moment to make this table suitable for eating,”
And so he does, removing all the paper, brushes and ink plates and moving them onto another place in the room.
Sitting back down to face Thoma, he spoke again with a still very obvious morning laced voice, “Shall we eat now? You really should have eaten first before heading here.”
He shook his head, admiring Ayato’s features before taking out two large bentos that he prepared, “It took me a while to - Make these ... I hope you like it.”
“Of course I’d like them, what kind of ‘I hope’ type of wish is that?” he chuckles, helping Thoma place down the bentos on his desk. “If it was made by you, it’s very likeable,”
“You flatter me ... My love,” it’s now his turn to make Ayato blush.
“You’re quite a ... Thing to uncover aren’t you, Thoma?” he clears his throat because of the sudden name Thoma had called him. He looks up to the other with a slappable smirk casted upon his lips. “Really ~ Denying first then suddenly being so ... Shameless,”
“What can I do? I love you so much that I felt like you deserve a lot better,” Thoma reasoned. “But then, I suddenly realized that I’m the best!”
“Shameless, really,” Ayato laughed, picking up one of the foods Thoma prepared with his chopsticks and feeding them to the other man. “But all is fair,”
“You really are the best after all.”