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English
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Published:
2021-10-15
Updated:
2023-01-17
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15,350
Chapters:
9/?
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38
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How to Be a Chad: Quackity x Reader

Summary:

Because every time he reads fanfiction he bitches about not being a chad 🙄 /j
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Where Y/N's best friend, Alex, finally gets himself a girlfriend.

But when things go south, will Y/N be able to help him reach the status of ultimate chad?
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This is for shits and giggles! Updates will be infrequent (letting y'all know right off the bat), but I really liked this idea, and wanted to write it. Thanks for reading! :)

Discontinued/hiatus as of 1/17/23

Chapter 1: The Universe Worked in His Favor, For Once!

Chapter Text

The room was cold.

And you absolutely despised the cold.

Wrapped in too many blankets, you still couldn't collect the warmth you desired. It was as if heat was repelled by you. What was the deal with that? You clicked your tongue impatiently, your eyes darting to the door on your right.

He better show up soon.

You did not wake up at 6:00 in the morning for Alex to bail out on you. Not when you so graciously offered him the support he needed. He had called you half an hour earlier, saying he was on his way, and how much of an emergency this was, blah blah blah—

And yet your best friend was nowhere to be found.

Suddenly, a horrible thought came to mind.

What if he was hurt? Got in an accident? What if he was lost?

You pulled your phone out from the depths of your morning cocoon. No new texts. It was now 6:15. He was fifteen minutes late. Was he always this late? You bit your lip nervously. If he didn't call you or knock in the next five minutes, you would put on some actual clothes and call him. And if he didn't answer then, you'd search for him. You knew it was far too early for him to function. You told him he should just come by later, but he insisted that it was important, urgent even. Like you hadn't heard that one before.

You were so deep in your thoughts, you didn't even notice the soft knocking at your door until it became loud. Cursing under your breath, you walked over and let your friend in.

Alex smiled sheepishly, tucking his hair farther in his beanie as he took the seat next to your couch.

"It better be important. It's early, and you had me worried."

"Worried?" He looked incredulously at you. "What's got you worried?"

You sat down on your couch. "Never mind. What did you want to tell me?"

"Guess." Alex rocked back and forth, his eyes beaming with excitement. More so than usual.

You resisted the urge to swat him. "Alex, it is far too early to be telling me to guess."

"Sorry, sorry!" He waved his hands apologetically. "I'm just really excited."

"I can tell." A smirk made its way across your face. "I think I know where this is going."

His expression turned more calm, surprised even. "You do?"

"Yeah," you responded. Tucking your feet under you, you leaned back. "You finally found that old Pokémon card collection you've been telling me about."

"No!" Alex frowned, then shakes his head. "I have a girlfriend."

Your eyebrows shot up. A girlfriend? Your best friend, Alex, has finally landed himself a girlfriend?

"Say sike right now."

He scoffed. "I'm not kidding, Y/N."

"You've been trying since freshmen year of high school! How am I supposed to feel about this?"

"I don't know, maybe happy for me or something?"

It's your turn to scoff this time. "Not until I meet her."

"You don't believe me."

"I don't."

"Why?"

For this, you cleared your throat. Alex looked uncomfortable, as if he knew where you were going with this. Good. As much as you loved your best friend, you did not sit next to him for years, listening to his romantic woes for nothing. You had rights.

"Because you're the same guy who texted his crush's mom about your date, instead of said crush."

"Their names were similar—"

"The same guy who, upon forgetting his peanut allergy, kissed a girl who was eating peanut M&M's."

"She was really sweet about it, though."

"It landed you in the ER."

"She came with me!"

Rolling your eyes, you stood up, taking your empty mug with you. Alex followed suit, and he sat himself down at the counter connecting your kitchen and your living room.

"My point is, you haven't been quite successful in the love department." Not that I'm any better, though.

"Well, sorrry! Not everyone can be as detached as you are." Alex crossed his arms, staring into the marble counter.

You pulled milk out of your fridge. "It's not a bad thing, you know. You wear your heart on your sleeve. It's not your fault you also happen to spill everything onto that sleeve."

"It sure sounds like it." He rested his chin in one hand, and you turn away to make yourself some more coffee.

Taking another mug from your cabinet, you asked him, "Do you want some coffee?"

"Please? I'm so cold."

You chuckled, making it just the way he liked it. Half coffee, a quarter creamer, and a quarter milk. Within minutes, the two of you sat at the counter, silently sipping your warm drinks.

"Do you actually want to meet her?"

"Of course." You set your mug down. "I have to meet the girl my best friend's whipped for. You never wake up this early."

Alex flushed momentarily, before shoving your shoulder. "Oh, shut up."

"I'm right, though."

He sighed, staring behind you. "You are, though. She's really something else."

"Mmmm." You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"She's just... different."

"Pfft." Too late, you covered your mouth.

Alex gave you a pointed look. "What?"

"Nothing. Please continue."

"Anyways," he said, "she's awesome."

You grinned. There was no mistaking it: even though he'd said less than ten words about the girl, you could tell he was smitten. His eyes had been lit up since he walked through the door. Whoever she was, she was someone special to him.

"When can I meet this different, awesome, something else girl? I'm practically at the edge of my seat, here."

Alex perked up. "How about today? Is today good?"

You glanced at the clock. It was 6:45 now. You had work in roughly two hours, and wouldn't be back until 3 in the afternoon.

"If it's after 3, I'm game." You sipped on your coffee as Alex went over his options.

"Wait! I forgot that you have work today." His eyebrows scrunched in concern.

You dismissed him. "It's fine. This is a special occasion."

"Oh god," he groaned. "You're not going to make fun of me in front of her, are you?"

"I make no such promises." You placed your mug in the sink, next to all your other mugs. The washing could wait.

"Well, we're going to the park at 2. When can we expect you?"

You shrugged off your blankets, throwing them onto your couch. Opening the fridge, you pulled out a couple eggs. "Around 4. Do you want some breakfast while you're here?"

Without hesitation, Alex accepted your offer, nodding like a golden retriever receiving treats.

Grinning, you made breakfast, curious about this mysterious woman your best friend managed to ask, and successfully convince, to be his girlfriend.