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He can’t be too late.
No, no, no.
Dazai runs- runs as fast as his legs can. He feels his legs hurting already, and his breaths are getting shorter and quicker- but he doesn’t care.
He just keeps running.
Towards the figure in the distance.
Chuuya in the distance.
His Chuuya in the distance.
By the time he reaches the site of destruction, he grabs Chuuya’s hand immediately, blue light replacing the red glow of Corruption.
He can’t be too late.
A limp, disheveled body falls into his arms.
Why isn’t Chuuya conscious?
This doesn’t happen usually. Even after he cancels out Corruption, Chuuya still remains awake, at least awake enough to mutter insults at him- or tell him to bring him back to the base safely.
So why isn’t Chuuya talking?
Why isn’t he awake?
“Chuuya? Answer me! Wake up!“ Dazai yells, shaking the lifeless body that’s collapsed in his arms. Dazai can’t help but notice that Chuuya looks so pale, his hair covered in blood and dirt, his eyes closed shut.
How he missed those bright blue eyes staring back at him- full of emotion whenever Dazai threw an insult at him.
How he missed the way the now pale skin would turn pink whenever Dazai gave him a compliment.
How he missed the way his soft ginger locks felt against his fingers whenever Dazai would braid his hair out of habit.
“You- you said you would be my dog for life, Chuuya. We had a deal,” Dazai says, feeling the first tear escape and trail down his cheek, “and you said you would always trust me to save you from Corruption- and- god, why aren’t you waking up?”
Chuuya can’t leave him like that.
Dazai still hasn’t gone to Paris to visit the Eiffel Tower with Chuuya.
Dazai still hasn’t binge watched all the Studio Ghibli movies in one sitting with Chuuya.
Dazai still hasn’t gone out on a clear starry night to count every single star in the sky with Chuuya.
They say you don’t know how much you love someone until you lose them- but Dazai’s known- he’s known since he was 15, on that very day in Suribachi City.
He loves Chuuya- so much that words cannot even begin to describe how much he does.
“I love you. I love you so much, Chuuya. I can’t believe I’ll never get to see your reaction to me saying it-“
The brunette wipes a tear off his cheek, then peppers the redhead’s face with a million kisses- fearing that he won’t ever be able to do this ever again.
Dazai didn’t get the chance to say “I love you” to Chuuya.
“Wake up, wake up, wake up, please.”
Pulling the redhead closer to his chest, hugging him tightly- never ever wanting to let him go, he loses his composure and bursts into tears.
Dazai Osamu cries.
He cries for the times he never told Chuuya his true feelings.
He cries for the day he left him- the day he left the person he loved the most, behind.
He cries for the man that’s in his arms, unmoving.
Dazai places a kiss on Chuuya’s lips- feeling that they’re so, so cold.
Freezing cold.
Where is the Chuuya that’s full of warmth and life?
“If you wake up, I swear- I swear I’ll never leave you again. I swear to be here with you for the rest of our lives. I swear that I’ll love you forever, Nakahara Chuuya- so please, please just- please, open your eyes.” Dazai sniffles, choking up as he says the words he’s wanted to say for so long.
If a miracle happened right now-
A cough.
Then a tired giggle.
Followed by a voice that’s like music to Dazai’s ears.
“You’re an idiot. A big idiot.”
There’s no way-
His vision is clouded, but he can make out the distinct blue shades that have begun to reveal themselves.
He wouldn’t miss this colour from miles away.
“I would never leave you, shitty Dazai. I’m Nakahara Chuuya, for fuck’s sake-” Chuuya says, holding onto Dazai to sit upright and coughing up dust from the aftermath of using Corruption, “did you really think I was going to-”
Before Chuuya can even finish his sentence, he’s interrupted by lips crashing against his again, feeling Dazai’s tears wetting his own cheeks as their arms wrap around each other, connecting like two perfect puzzle pieces.
Like one soul in two bodies.
When they part, they’re left breathless.
Chuuya chases the taste of his partner’s lips once more, but Dazai breaks away and stares at the exhausted redhead with glassy eyes- swollen and reddened from crying earlier.
Even now, he’s trying not to hiccup.
He pinches himself- once, twice.
Rubs his eyes, blinks.
Chuuya’s still there, living.
This is real, right?
Thank god.
“You- you- scared the shit out of me. I really thought you were-”
“Shh, it’s alright now, Osamu. I’m here, it’s okay.” Chuuya interrupts, hand finding the other’s brown hair and stroking it gently- calmly- as reassurance.
Dazai drops his head on Chuuya’s shoulders, wraps his arms around the other’s torso, and sighs in relief as he hears the sound of Chuuya’s breathy laughter.
“I love you too, Dazai Osamu. Let’s live for a long time. Together.”