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"Lucifer," Chloe asked, suspicious at the sight of him, "what are you doing at the station?"
He beamed. "Ah, Detective! I have come to beg your assistance, or the assistance of someone who can help me track down a missing person."
Chloe raised her eyebrow. "Who's missing?" Couldn't be Maze, she'd been eating Lucky Charms and vodka for breakfast earlier. The Brittanies? Doubtful.
"Oh, ah." Lucifer tapped the screen of his phone and held it up. "Do you see this? It is someone named 'J.T. Kirk' - surely a pseudonym, I somehow doubt the captain of the Enterprise would give my club - Lux - " As if Chloe didn't know the name of the club - "a single star in his review!"
"No," Chloe said.
"No?"
"Absolutely not," Chloe said. She made an erasing gesture with her hands. "You are not bothering anyone with this, Lucifer. You are not." She sighed. Loudly. "Not using any resources of this station - or any other station - to track down anyone who's left you a negative review on Lux!"
Lucifer opened his mouth. And closed it again. And pouted. "But Detective," he said. "It's not right! The use of an alias." He flipped his hand at the screen again. "The single star!"
"That is not police business, Lucifer," Chloe said. Firmly. "And I don't want to hear any more about it!"
"But Detective!"
"Nothing, Lucifer!" She held a hand up to forestall any additional argument, knowing he'd go on. "If you have to pursue this, use your own resources, not the City of Los Angeles'."
His sulk nearly turned his face inside out, at least until something popped into his devious brain and he smiled again. "Yes, yes, of course, what was I thinking?" Enthusiasm firmly back in place, Lucifer patted Chloe's shoulder briefly. "I'll take it up with your captain!"
"That's not - "
Too late. He was already gone.
Chloe sighed, squeezing the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger in hopes it would quell the beginnings of the headache Lucifer always gave her.