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“Thomas,” she started strong, “with this ring I-” her voice faltered and her eyebrows scrunched together. “No, this hand. With this hand, I will take your wine a- ugh. No.”
Brenda signed and took a few more aimless steps, wandering deeper into the forest, taking deep breaths as she stumbled along her vows. It really shouldn’t be this difficult, it was just a few lines.
“With this candle, I will… I will...” at the loss of her verbal momentum, she groaned and rubbed her eyes. “I will light your best fucking friend on fire.” She finished miserably.
She hadn’t been in this particular area before, she hadn't realized she’d been walking for so long, how deep into the woods she really was, and she stopped dead in her tracks. She pulled the ring out from her pocket and stared at it angrily before filling her lungs and starting over.
“With this hand, I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way in darkness, and with this ring,” though she’d been waving her arms around theatrically the entire time, at some point her fingers brushed up against a few thin branches from a dead, fallen tree and she was now holding the tree as though it was a hand as she ended off the recitation.
“I ask you to be mine.”
Brenda slid the ring onto the branch and grinned at it, feeling quite satisfied with herself. A cold wind breezed through at that moment and if it wasn’t already dark enough out, the wind blew her hair all over her face and though she saw something moving on the opposite side of her locks, she couldn’t fully make out what it was. Surely just the branches swaying in the breeze, or perhaps stray leaves that had abandoned their preWHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SOMEONE IS GRABBING MY ARM WHO THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
A shrill scream escaped her lips as she struggled under the unknown grip of rather slim but strong fingers that were as cold as ice. The ground beneath her began to tremble and a dark veiled figure began to emerge from the soil, grabbing at the surrounding plants as Brenda fell backward, digging her heels into the ground, shaking violently. Blindly throwing her arms before her in hopes that it would help her in any way only to be caught in the grasp of another freezing hand that laced its bony fingers through hers before the thing crawled over top of Brenda.
Frozen with fear and dread and god knows what else, Brenda’s eyes were wide in terror as the veil flew back and revealed a girl with skin as white as snow and eyes as blue as the midday sky that bore into Brenda’s soul and trapped her gaze. The girl parted her full lips to suck in a gasp of air before leaning in close to brenda’s ear and whispering the faintest “I do.” Brenda had ever heard.
And that was it. That was all it took for Brenda to feel her stomach wiggle its way into her throat and a wave of nausea washed over her as her vision blurred and she felt all consciousness slip away.
-----------------------------------------
When Brenda’s eyes began to crack open, she was greeted with various tones of curiosity and disapproval.
“Well well, looks like we got us a breather.”
“Does she have a dead brother?”
“Aw look she’s still soft!”
At the first sign of physical contact, Brenda’s eyes shot open and she swatted the poking hands away, feeling more violated than scared until her eyes focused properly and she realized that everyone surrounding her were lacking a few things, flesh being one of them.
“Where-” Brenda started, but the second the word left her mouth, the entire room erupted in a chorus of cheers and applause and hollers. On top of all the noise, someone shouted something about the newlyweds and their volume increased. Brenda scanned the room, searching for something that could possibly tell her where she was, and from what she saw it looked like a strange kind of pub, almost like a jazz bar, and before her eyes had even adjusted to the dim lighting to really be able to make out what she was seeing, a familiar set of fingers curled around her wrist. She whipped her head around and was once again caught in the gaze of those massive blue eyes.
She got a better look at her now; all of her features had been sunken as low as possible, like her skin was clinging onto every bone and crevasse of the girl’s body, assuming it could still be classified as skin. It looked more as though someone had thrown a thin linin sheet over a skeleton, sucked all the air out of it and given it a greyish blue tint. Her long dark hair was surprisingly healthy looking, given the state of her body. Granted a little straggly, but it fell over her thin shoulders in a way that made it look as though it had been designed to fall in such a way. The only thing that looked remotely out of place were her eyes, they were completely intact and more alive than Brenda herself. Not to mention they were absolutely full of adoration.
“Oh love,” she practically swooned, surprising Brenda with a British accent, “you recited you vows so perfectly in the woods.”
“My…?” Brenda was at a loss for words, nothing made sense and she had no idea what to think. The face before her was washed over with confusion and concern, which only made it worse. Who the hell was this person? Why was she worried for her? Where was she? What the hell was going on?
“Listen to me, I need to know what’s going on right now! Who are you? Where am I? Why-”
“Shhh shhh it’s okay, it’s all okay.” She smiled encouragingly, and as much as Brenda hated to admit it, the girl was gorgeous, especially for someone who was literally skin and bones. The girl cupped Brenda’s cheek and wrapped her other arm around her waist. “I’m Teresa, and don’t mind them, they get a little over excited sometimes, nothing to worry about. What’s your name again?”
Brenda gaped at the girl, she realized that there were patches of skin missing and broken bones poking out, no guts or blood though. She also noticed that the girl was wearing her ring.
Teresa clearly noticed Brenda’s wandering eyes and gave her a shy, almost embarrassed looking smile. “Oh that. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too serious, I can still walk and function properly.”
“What happened?” Brenda asked breathlessly.
“Oh, I was crushed by a ceiling.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“So everyone here is…?”
“Dead? Yep. All except you…”
“Uh, Brenda.”
Teresa’s whole decayed face lit up, and somehow it made the situation seem less terrifying than it actually was. “Brenda.” She breathed, sounding in awe. She stretched the name out as much as she could, as if savoring every syllable and soaking up each sound. Brenda swore she felt her heart speed up a little but that was absurd and probably non-existent. Probably.
“So, this is the blushing bride then, eh?” a boy’s voice sounded from behind Brenda. There was a tall man leaning against the countertop with a glass in his hand, what was left of his skin was dark and his protruding bones revealed many cracks and dents and missing pieces, but his shoulders were broad and there was a blunt wooden piece where his foot would’ve been. He was also missing a few fingers but Brenda thought it’d be best not to ask. However, she had no problem questioning that whole ‘bride’ bit.
“Yeah, about that, um so when I uh proposed to you I guess, I um, wasn’t expecting, I mean I didn’t know that I was, well that I was… uh…” Brenda couldn’t even bring herself to say it, she was only slightly overwhelmed by her surroundings alone, so wrapping her mind around a marriage was at the moment out of the question, and she had no idea how to put that into words.
Teresa’s head was cocked and her eyebrows were scrunched together, in her periphery Brenda also noticed some empty eyed glares from several tall figures, when Teresa’s eyebrows lifted in understanding and a knowing smile spread across her face.
“I understand love, I thought I was straight too once,” She giggled slightly at the last bit as though it was a fond memory, “just try to keep an open mind about it, I know you must be going through a lot, but trust me, it’s not as strange as it seems! Love isn’t something that can be defined by genitals, and once you get past that first initial idea and all the stigma around it, everything makes so much more sense! And I know it’s hard and scary for some people, but you’re not alone okay? We’ll get through this together.”
Brenda blinked once. Twice. Holy shit. Oh god. Oh fucking shit. What had she even gotten herself into?
One of the boys at the counter cooed, “Aw look, the poor girl’s in shock!” the surrounding group burst into another round of chortles and obnoxious noises, earning some side eyed glares from the other parties. Teresa rolled her eyes and hooked arms with Brenda and pulled her out of the room, giggling as they went.
“So sorry about them, boys can be such dicks.” Teresa sighed once they were out of sight. She had slipped her hand into Brenda’s and was now leading them up a dark staircase. Teresa’s shoes clicked against the pavement as her tattered dress glided over the steps, a long tear in the fabric revealed her long skinny legs and Brenda had to be more careful when she was looking at the girl because she quickly realized that the girl was always looking at her, and whenever she noticed her looking at her, she seemed to feel the need to explain herself.
“It was this boy Chuck’s mothers dress,” she started quietly, “some of us never actually found our parents, so Chuck’s mom treats us all like her own, its actually really sweet. And when I told her I dreamed of getting married one day, she dug out every white dress she could find until she found one that was suitable for a wedding, I know it’s a little grubby, but it makes-”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me y’know,” Brenda softly interrupted her rambling, “You shouldn't feel like you owe me something, that’s all.”
Teresa smiled apologetically, “sorry love, I’ve just never been with a breather be- I mean living person before, I don’t want to mess it up.” The girl looked up at Brenda and the look she gave her was so raw and genuine and Brenda didn’t think anybody had ever looked at her in a way that was so open, so exposed and vulnerable, she didn’t even think it was possible to pour so much emotion into one look, and now that she was face to face with such an expression, she was nothing short of amazed. She felt the same fluttery thing in her chest that she’d felt when Teresa first said her name.
After a few seconds of Brenda staring at her in awe, Teresa smiled shyly at the ground and it was enough to snap her out of her trance just in time to see that she’d run out of steps and they were on a balcony type thing.
Brenda was once again surprised at how quickly she lost any sense of communication when faced with something that she couldn't immediately take in, this time it was the view that the balcony offered that took her breath away. There was a whole massive city, it was disfigured and crooked, but it was a city none the less, and it was incredible.
Though she couldn’t see her, she knew that Teresa was watching her. It wasn’t one of those ‘feel glares burning into your back’ types of knowing, it was more of a warm glow than a burning. But she didn’t know that Teresa also had a hand reached out towards her, debating whether or not it’d be weird to touch her hair, or her back or hand or shoulder or anything.
“Erm, could I maybe like, touch you? Oh god not in a sexual way, just like your skin I mean I just want to feel y- actually you know what never mind forget I said anything.” Teresa, for the first time, was actually grateful that there wasn’t any blood in her body, because she knew it would’ve all been in her cheeks.
Brenda couldn’t help but smile. She was talking to a corpse whom she accidentally proposed to in the middle of a city of dead, half rotten people who all seemed to be completely unaware of how unbelievably impossible all of this was and she couldn’t help but smile.
She reached forward and took Teresa’s hand and gave her a small smile before turning her gaze back to the city below her. She felt Teresa playing with her fingers and tracing the lines in her palm and every now and then, Brenda would look over and note that the wide eyed amazed smile on the girl’s face had yet to fade or falter even slightly. She looked at Brenda’s skin as though it was the most incredible thing she’d ever seen, and it sickened Brenda how much it made her heart swell.
They stayed like that for around fifteen minutes, and as awkward as it should’ve been, it wasn’t. It was actually so lovely. Teresa was showing more interest in Brenda than anybody had in a long time, maybe ever, and she was still just inspecting her hand, as if she kept finding brand new interesting things to look at, to soak in, like she was trying to etch it all into her brain. Brenda should’ve felt exposed, she should’ve felt vulnerable and unsafe but she was completely at ease. Totally comfortable and calm. What the fuck.
“Howdy love birds,” someone called from the bottom of the stairs, Teresa sighed.
“Ben, please feel free to fuck off whenever you want.”
Brenda broke into a grin, appreciating the girl’s attitude and bluntness. A round of ohhhhhs was exchanged before a group of boys came hurdling around the corner. One was the same guy from earlier, but everyone else was brand new. It occurred to Brenda that none of the people here looked like how you would imagine a corpse to look. There were no fleshy wounds, no guts slipping out, no blood stains, none of it. They were all restored as much as they probably could’ve been, and apart from the occasional chunk of missing skin and some general paleness, minor deformities and large stitches, they looked practically normal. If anything, it was kind of disappointing. Well except for that one guy, who was mostly a skeleton with clothes on and a little bit of skin on his face and leg, but other than that.
One of the taller boys was carrying a small boy on his back, and out of everyone she’d seen here so far, he looked the most alive. His hair was curly and his face was round and his bones didn’t stick out of his skin like everyone else’s did. He was the first one to introduce himself.
“Well since it looks like you’ll be sticking around,” he’d said, “might as well get to know everyone. I’m Chuck.” He offered her a hand and a crooked grin. Brenda returned the smile and shook his hand, and she then learned that the tall one carrying Chuck was Ben, the guy from before was Alby, the mostly Bones guy was Winston, the one holding Winston’s hand was Jeff, the one with stitches in the middle of his forehead was Newt, there was a Nick in there, and a Zart too, and a bunch of others that Brenda felt bad for not being able to remember. But the ones she did remember sounded awfully familiar. And that Newt one stood out particularly.
They spent the next hour or so talking and goofing off and sharing stories, and Brenda quickly forgot everything she was worried about and started genuinely enjoying herself. She liked Teresa’s laugh, she liked the way it sounded and the way her nose scrunched up. She also hated herself for noticing.
After a few stories about deaths from the flare, guns, cranks, and more flare, to which she could contribute her knowledge of, having been in scorch for so long, it finally dawned on her why some of the boys with strange names sounded so familiar.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
“Oh fuck,”it took her a minute to realize that she’d said that last one out loud. All eyes were on her, and she could feel certain pairs more than others. “You guys, you’re from the maze aren’t you?”
If she didn’t have their attention before, she sure as hell had it now.
“How do you know about the maze?” Alby inquired, tilting his head. The group around her looked more serious than she’d ever seen them, granted that was only a few hours, but they’d always seemed so carefree and happy. Until now, that is.
“I know the survivors, I live with them in paradise.” There was a collective intake of breath from the group as several of them looked at each other.
“They’re okay? They made it?” Newt sounded amazed. Brenda remembered Thomas’ nightmares, he’d say Newt’s name a lot when they first got to paradise, now it’s mostly muffled whimpers and the occasional scream. No one blamed him.
“To tell you the truth, they’re alive but honestly you guys seem better off than they do. They came out fucking traumatized, I mean we all did but not like them. It was bad man, took everything so seriously. They’d all seen too much to be able to be happy without feeling guilty about it.” Her eyes flickered to Newt who looked awfully close to tears.
“You’re talking about Tommy aren’t you?” he said quietly.
Brenda shrugged, “him more than some, Minho definitely hasn’t lost his sarcastic flair,” this bloomed several half smiles across various faces, so she started naming off some of the happier things that’d happened, though there weren’t many.
She told them about the massive tree fort they’d made, she told them about the time Minho accidentally lit one of the munies’ hair on fire, but none of their reactions compared to when she told them about Frypan’s girlfriend being pregnant. The noises they made probably could’ve been heard from across the city.
And then, of course, something slipped about her and Thomas.
Now, Teresa had been quiet for most of the time that Brenda had talked about paradise, the occasional sniffle told her that it was best not to draw any attention toward her, but she hadn’t even looked at her since she mentioned Thomas and her being together. It was brief enough for everyone else to overlook it, especially since they’d started talking about Brenda bringing all of them back up to visit paradise, but after they’d all been sent to bed by Chuck’s mom, Brenda knew it was only a matter of minutes before Teresa said something about it.
They’d been walking side by side for a few minutes before Teresa slid the ring off of her finger and placed it in Brenda’s hands before she could object.
“It wasn’t meant for me.” was all she said before walking in the opposite direction.
So that left Brenda sitting in the pub feeling more empty than she’d felt since she got there. Why. Why after the one thing that actually changed something inside of her, after the first time she properly felt something in years, why had she let her walk away. Why hadn’t see said something, anything? Why was she even going to marry Thomas in the first place? Why had she even stayed with him? Neither of them were happy, neither of them actually loved each other in the way that you’re supposed to love someone you plan to marry, she was going to marry someone because she felt like she should, not because she loved them. How long had she lived like this? Blind to her own feelings. Blind and stupid. Stuck between not wanting to lose Thomas all together and not even considering not being with him. Not considering that she could be loved by someone in the way that, now that she thought about it, she and Thomas both knew that he couldn’t. Why.
And then there was Teresa. Teresa, who had been open and willing and real with her from the moment they met. Who had made her feel better not only about herself but in general in less than a few hours, she’d made Brenda feel a wider range of emotions than she’d felt in the past three years. It wasn’t that Thomas wasn’t great, because he was, but just not in the way Teresa was. Brenda felt insane for having all these thoughts and feelings for someone she’d met not ten hours ago, but then again, that same person had been willing to marry someone she just met. For whatever reason, the thought made her smile, because if that doesn’t say something about a person, what does?
Teresa made her want to fall in love. She made her want to be spontaneous and not have to carefully plan out how things were going to work and if the relationship would last and how they would be and how everything was going to be in eight years. Teresa made her want to forget everything and love in the moment, to think less and feel. Live for now. Not for eight years from now.
And right now, she’ll be damned if she didn’t love Teresa.
And she was not letting her get away.
Running through the streets asking everyone she saw if they’d seen Teresa, all these thoughts racing through her head did nothing but abandon her the instant she was face to face with the girl. Any kind of momentum she’d built up, all the drive and energy she had, gone. And she was standing in front of Teresa staring wide eyed and weak kneed because if she was gonna fall in love in a single day, you can bet your ass she was gonna use stupid phrases like that too.
Teresa opened her mouth to say something, but before any sound came out Brenda blurted “no!” surprising them both. “Don’t say anything, not yet. I have so much to say to you and it’s gonna be all over the place and probably not going to make any kind of sense and I don’t know where to start and I’m probably not going to finish but I need to tell you these things or I will regret them for the rest of my damn life so I really need you to not say anything.”
Teresa blinked. She then took a step back and motioned for Brenda to come inside. The door closed behind her and they didn’t even sit down before Brenda launched into it. There was so much adrenaline running through her and so many things to say that she was tripping over words she hadn’t even spoken yet. But she talked. She spilled her fucking guts and poured her heart out and stumbled over her words and talked so forcefully and passionately that they had both shed a tear by the time she was done, which she never really was because at some point they had both just hugged it out and ended up kissing even though Brenda kept pulling away spontaneously to blurt out something she’d forgotten to mention in the initial confession. Teresa just smiled and pulled her back in. By the end of the night they were curled up together in Teresa’s bed half asleep while Teresa mapped out every inch of Brenda’s skin and examined it until they were both asleep.
The next morning was a blur, actually the next few days, maybe weeks were a blur. Maybe it just seemed that way because most of the days up til then had dragged on slower than anything. Whichever it was, Brenda never wanted it to stop.
The morning had consisted of everyone running around trying to figure everything out in the most chaotic fashion as to getting everyone back in paradise, and though it took a while, they figured it out and that was one of the most emotional days that the munies had seen. Brenda remembered it all in glimpses and flashes; the look on Minho’s face when everyone first started walking up, the way he held Alby’s face with tears in his eyes and a smile that Brenda hadn’t seen in months. How quickly Thomas’ face had changed when Newt smiled at him, how he gripped his hair and hugged him so tight it was probably a good thing he didn’t need to breathe. She also remembered seeing Gally weep for the first time when he scooped Chuck up into his arms and she would never forget the way he looked at Ben when his gaze landed on him. She would also never mistake Gally for a heterosexual again. She remembered everyone laughing as Fry tackle hugged Winston and Jeff, the looks shared between Newt and Gally, the way Minho couldn’t physically stand up when he hugged Newt and how they both ended up on the ground, how Thomas fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Chuck that night and how many munies found their family members and the insane number of trips made back and forth for the next few weeks. Needless to say there was not a single dry eye that day. Minho even hugged Teresa he was so happy. Later that night he also pulled her aside and apologized and Teresa knew just as well as anyone else that an apology from Minho was the equivalent an I love you from most people. That shit meant something.
Oh, and she also remembered giving Teresa the ring back at some point, but that’s another story.