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"Wilbur is going to be there?" Dream asked, a sour look on his face.
Techno rolled his eyes, adjusting his position so that Dream was pressed closer to his chest, "Yeah, Phil invited him. Oh, don't look like that, you're the one who revived him. If you didn't want him back why'd you bring him back?"
"Just 'cause I revived him doesn't mean I like him. I just wanted him to get me out of that damn prison."
"What, and you just assumed he would? If I'm not mistaken, you two haven't ever really hit it off," Techno drawled, basking in the warmth of Dream at his side.
"Well, that's not true," Dream jumped to defend himself, "We had that whole... thing."
"Thing?" Techno raised an eyebrow.
"You know... our thing," he gestured vaguely with his hand, clearing his throat awkwardly.
"Your... thing."
"Our..." Dream passed, racking his brain for the right word, "Affair. Our affair."
"You and Wilbur had an affair?"
"Maybe." Dream was resolutely not looking at him. His face was obscured by his mask but the tips of his ears were bright red with embarrassment, "It was during Pogtopia," he caved.
"You and Wilbur had an affair during Pogtopia and I had no idea?"
For a second, Dream thought Techno might've been genuinely mad, but glancing back over at him, the amusement in his eyes was clear.
"Okay, first of all, stop calling it an affair-"
"You called it an affair first!"
"And second of all, it wasn't like a thing, thing. It was just a thing."
"What I'm hearin'," Techno said, voice rich with delight, "Is that you and Wilbur Soot had a fling."
"Sure, yes," Dream threw his hands up in defeat, "We had a fling."
"Which I was unaware of."
"Which most people are unaware of."
Techno laughed, his head tossing back into the couch cushions behind him, "How did you even keep it a secret?" he asked, crimson eyes still curved upward.
"You know... we like met in private and stuff. Ugh- Why are we even talking about this?" Dream demanded, "This is stupid."
"You're the one who brought it up," Techno pointed out, poking playfully at Dream's shoulder.
Dream shrugged him off, "No, I brought up how I didn't like Wilbur."
"So, what changed? It wasn't-" Techno snorted at his own joke, "It wasn't meant to be."
Dream glared at him half-heartedly, barely suppressing his own smile, "You are such an asshole."
Techno grinned back, "Maybe."
"It just... wasn't the right time. And he was a dick."
"Who was a dick?" Philza butted into the conversation as he knocked the snow off his boots.
Techno turned his head to glance at his old friend. His lips turned upward in a smirk, "Your son, that's who."
Philza nodded sagely, "True, but any particular reason as to why?"
Techno's grin grew.
"Don't you dare, Technoblade. I'm serious. I'll kill you, we sleep in the same bed."
Techno ignored him, "Apparently, Dream and Wilbur had an affair back during Pogtopia."
Dream buried his masked face in his hands, "Stop calling it an affair!" he bemoaned, voice muffled.
"Unfortunately, it didn't work out."
Phil laughed, "Unfortunately." He took a moment to shrug off his winter jacket, hanging it next to the door, "But yeah, I knew that. I thought it was common knowledge."
"You knew?" Dream and Techno said in unison, both similarly horrified.
"For how long? You didn't think to tell me?"
"Tell you?" Phil asked, skeptical, "What good would that do, you and Dream were already together when I found out."
"Well, yeah, but what if I wanted to..." Techno trailed off uncertainly.
"What? Take advantage of my insider knowledge?"
"Wait, wait, wait," Dream interjected, derailing the conversation, "How did you find out, 'cause I know for a fact neither of us told you."
"Actually, Wilbur told me! Just a few months ago, during one of our father-son bonding moments."
"Since when do you guys had father-son bonding moments?" Dream asked, skeptical.
"Yeah, Phil," Techno added, "I'm feelin' awfully excluded for your life at the moment."
"Trust me, Techno, I'm pretty sure you didn't want to be there when Wilbur was detailing how he and Dream-"
Dream lunged over the back of the couch, slamming his hands over Philza's mouth, "That is enough."
Techno stared at him in shock, "Did you and Wilbur fuck?"
"Oh my God! Yes! Can we please stop talking about this? Especially in front of Wilbur's dad?"
Phil burst into laughter, much to Dream's chagrin.
"Okay, okay," Techno relented, looking way too amused for Dream's liking, "I just have one more question... Was he better than me?"
"Literally die."
//
"Wilbur." Dream greeted stiffly, resolutely ignoring the smirking Technoblade beside him.
"Dream," Wilbur mimicked, inclining his head in acknowledgment. Somehow, he managed to come off as mocking, "How are you on this fine evening?"
"Better than you, hopefully."
Wilbur placed a hand over his chest, smile only growing, "Don't be like that, Dream. It's okay to admit that you missed me."
"Actually, I've been avoiding you."
"Of course you have," Wilbur said placatingly, "Still, Dream. My doors are open to you, whenever you wish."
Dream suppressed the urge to point out that Wilbur was currently living with his father, so whatever doors he was referring to would actually be Philza's.
Before he could spit out his witty retort, Wilbur's attention shifted to the man beside Dream. He raked his eyes over Techno's broad form, lips pursed in unmistakable annoyance, "Technoblade."
Techno raised a cherry pink eyebrow, "Wilbur."
Dream rolled his eyes. Was Techno seriously about to act all jealous when he had just spent the last hour making fun of him?
"I see you're still wearing that ugly red cape," Wilbur remarked, eyeing Techno's cape with disdain.
"I see you still have an aversion to showering."
"Oh my God," Dream grumbled under his breath, "Both of you people are idiots. Techno?"
Techno pulled his eyes away from the staring contest he was having with Wilbur, "Huh?"
"We're leaving." He grabbed Techno's hand.
"We are?"
Dream jerked Techno away, steadily ignoring Wilbur's gaze on his retreating form.
He pulled Techno into an abandoned hallway, "You are dumb."
"I am?" Techno wrapped his arms around Dream's waist, pulling the blonde closer to him until Dream's back was flush with his chest. He rested his chin on the top of Dream's head.
Dream leaned back into him, "You are. You don't get to bully me for an hour and then act all pissy."
"I wasn't acting pissy..."
Despite being unable to see his face, Dream had the distinct feeling that Techno was pouting. Well, as close to pouting that the infamous blood god could get.
"Really?" Dream drawled, tilting his head to look up at Techno, "'I see you still have an aversion to showering' isn't jealous to you?"
Techno's grip on his waist tightened, "It was funny," he defended half heartedly. At least he had the decency to be embarrassed. Despite himself, Dream's heart swelled with fondness. What an idiot.
"Besides," Techno continued, oblivious to Dream's internal monologue, "I don't anything to be jealous of."
"No?" Dream asked, curious and amused all at once.
"Of course I don't." He loosened his hold, allowing for Dream to spin around. Chests pressed together, Techno cupped Dream's unmasked cheek in one of his large hands. He smirked, "You love me too much."
"I do?"
"You do," Techno repeated, certain, "Just like I love you," he tilted Dream's face upward, pressing their lips together.
Dream smiled into the kiss helplessly, "You're an idiot."
"Maybe," Techno admitted, pulling away, "But you slept with Wilbur Soot, so I think that makes us even."
"It was before I even knew you!"