Work Text:
Kuroko and Mikoto decided to spend their free day out. Just the 2 of them, for once. Taking a walk around the town. Her gaze kept moving towards her though. She didn't care that she was holding her bag. They ended up walking towards the ocean.
This wouldn't normally have been a big deal. She'd spent more and more time with her lately. At school. At the beach. It had been like this since that day in the classroom, and Kuroko hadn't even realised how much she had been waiting for this. But now, at this moment, something was different.
She watched as Mikoto stared out at the ocean. Her eyes were shining with a gentle glow, and she stared intently towards the horizon. Just as she was about to step in closer to the water and really start looking, Kuroko pulled her back. "Hey. Give me your hand."
She'd thought about this a lot. When she'd realised how she was feeling about her, she had started planning this day. She wanted to take her somewhere, make it special. Something that would give them a special memory. And at the end of it, there'd be a question that she wanted answered.
"Why did you stay?"
Mikoto looked up at her, surprised. The question was surprising, but the way Kuroko had said it was even more so. She seemed to have that look in her eye again, that gaze that made her feel like she was looking right into her soul.
She closed her eyes, silently focusing her thoughts. She took a deep breath, opening her eyes again. "I didn't stay, Kuroko."
"Yes you did."
Mikoto turned away. "You left. You left me. I didn't want you to."
Kuroko frowned. "I think we both know that's not true."
"I didn't want you to get hurt," Mikoto said, pointing at the sea. "That's all. I couldn't bear to see you get hurt. I couldn't bear to see you like that. So I tried to make it easier for you. I did my best, I did."
Kuroko looked down at her, frowning slightly. "And?"
She turned away again. "So you see, I tried. But I couldn't keep living like that. And so I had to go. I couldn't stay here any longer. You'd hate me."
"You don't think I would?"
"No. I don't think you would. You're kind and gentle, and you don't take advantage of people. But even if I didn't think you would, I couldn't stay here. There was no point. I'd be a bother to you, and I was."
"So, why did you stay, then?"
She shrugged. "Why do you think?"
She held her gaze. "Why did you stay? Because you love me."
"What?"
"You love me, and I need you to be honest with me. You didn't want to leave me. You wanted me to stay. So you stayed."
"No. I wanted to leave. If I'd had a choice, I would have left you behind. But I couldn't leave you, Kuroko. I couldn't."
Kuroko held her gaze. "Then what was the difference?"
"That's what I need you to find out. And I need you to stay. And then I'll find out."
Mikoto sat down, looking at her feet. Kuroko leaned down,and took one of her hands in hers. She pulled it towards her, so it was flat against her stomach. She rested her head on it.
"I'm scared of this," Mikoto whispered. "I'm scared I'll fail. I'm scared that I can't do this. I'm scared I'll do something wrong, and that it'll ruin everything. I'm scared that I'll ruin everything. And I'm scared that it'll end, and you'll never be mine again. I'm scared you'll forget about me, and go on with your life. But mostly, I'm scared that I'll forget about you, and go on with my life, and I'll never have you to come back to."
Kuroko reached out and took her other hand, cupping it in her own. "You can't do that. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not forgetting about you."
Mikoto closed her eyes. "I don't want you to forget about me."
"I won't," she whispered. "I promise."
Then she looked into Kuroko's eyes. "I'm scared that I won't be enough."
Kuroko's eyes widened slightly.
"I'm scared that we'll end up just like our parents. Too much in love with each other to stay together. It'll ruin us both, Mikoto."
She sighed. "I can't be with you like this, Kuroko."
"Why not?"
"I...I just...I just want to give you the best life I can. I don't want to waste it, and I don't want you to regret any part of it."
She kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her cheeks, then her mouth. She kissed her, more ardently this time, for a long time.
When she pulled away, there was something odd about her eyes. They were wide, even more than usual, and there was something else, some kind of look that Mikoto couldn't put her finger on. But she just smiled, and led her to her bedroom.
In her bedroom, they lay down on the bed, and kissed each other for a long time. Mikoto sighed, and held her lover's face in her hands.
"I love you, Kuroko-kun."
She smiled, and pulled her closer.
"I love you, Mikoto-chan."
Then they kissed again.
Mikoto woke up early in the morning. She'd fallen asleep at a table, leaning against one of the wobbly walls. Kuroko was still asleep, head resting on her shoulder.
She felt a warm hand run gently down her back, from her neck to her stomach.
"It's okay," she whispered. "I'm here."
"I was scared."
"You were scared, too."
"I wanted it to end. I didn't want it to end. I didn't want us to end."
"You can't stop the way things are meant to be."
"But I'm scared."
"You were scared when you left. You were scared of what you were about to leave. You've been scared of lots of things, ever since we met. Remember that."
"But it's different, this time."
"That's right."
Kuroko sighed. "I don't like this. I don't want to be in pain. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want to be scared. I want you."
"You do?"
"Of course. I just don't like being in pain. I don't like being scared. I don't like being lonely. I don't want you to be lonely. I don't want us to be."
"Kuroko-"
"Mikoto, I don't want you to be. I love you, Mikoto. So much that I can't stand being without you. I don't want to be without you."
"Oh, Kuroko."
"Please, don't leave."
"I'm not," she said, pulling away from him. "I'm going to stay here."
"But I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever."
"I love you too, Kuroko. It won't be forever."
"Then, come back."
"Kuroko, I have to do this."
"Please come back to me."
"Don't ask me to, please," she said, taking his hand. "I'm going to do this on my own, like I've always wanted. I'll make you proud of me."
She nodded, a distant look in his eyes. She nodded, more decisively this time.
"I'll come back for you, Mikoto-chan."
She smiled, then kissed her again.
"You will."
A/N: I need to give a special thanks to Elyvilon for beta reading this chapter, for all of his insightful and encouraging responses. He is a much better person than me.