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Certified Moron

Summary:

4 times Ron didn't notice Toto's crush, 1 time he got it pointed out, and 1 time he decided to solve the situation.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Ron’s awakening was slightly more confusing than what he was used to having. Having Toto already in his house wasn’t rare nor unwelcome, but having him kneeling by his side with a cup of tea was new.

“...Toto?” Ron called out as he sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

“Good evening, Ron. Hope you don’t mind me using your kitchen.” Toto said, offering him tea with a smile.

Ron took the cup, their fingers touching for a brief second before Toto pulled away, looking down.

“...I hope you like it.”

The man himself didn’t really understand why the sudden shyness, but he enjoyed the tea, regardless.


It had been a long drive, and they still had quite a long way to go before arriving at their destination.

“So then, what he did wasn’t to ask the locals, because he KNEW it would be dumb considering that it was one of their own, but the security guard that-”

Ron had been talking for quite a while now about his favorite movie as Toto’s eyes stayed in the road.

“Oh, sorry Toto, I must have been talking your ears off, right? I will let you be at peace for a little while.”

“No, no, keep going. You have a nice voice. Helps me to stay awake.”

Suddenly, Toto blushed.

“I mean, uh, everyone thinks you have a nice voice, so don’t- uh don’t worry about me getting annoyed or anything!”

Ron once more was mildly puzzled about Toto’s reaction, but hey, if he is helping a friend, he would go on as long as possible.


“And… done!” Ron said as he threw himself on the hotel bed, staring at the ceiling with a smile. “What a case, huh? I’m glad we solved it, but that was so draining.”

“U-uh…”

Ron looked at his partner with a raised eyebrow.

“What is it, Toto?”

“There is only one bed…” Toto declared with his head hanging low.

“Oh!”

Ron looked around the room, noticing that he was, indeed, hoarding the only bed. The solution seemed too obvious, but he understood that Toto was too shy to propose it.

“Let me sleep on the floor, I’m used to it!” Ron said, smiling gallantly.

More baffling than anything else was Ron watching in real time Toto’s shy expression shift to disappointment.

“O-oh. Okay. Makes sense.”

He didn’t understand, even after staying up for an hour later than he usually did, just to guess what that could possibly mean.

Were his deduction skills getting worse?


“Toto, have you noticed anything weird with me lately?” Ron asked frankly while they were out for coffee.

Toto stopped mid-sip, his eyebrows furrowed and voice full of worry. “Is something wrong, Ron?”

“I just… need to solve something, but no matter what, I can’t come to a good conclusion. Do you- Do you think I have lost my talent?” Ron asked, desperation rising up his throat.

“Ron, never!” Toto said, putting down his cup and splashing a few drops of coffee on the table. “You solved the last case so quickly, your talent is still there for sure!”

Ron almost considered talking about it right then and there to Toto, but if it was something sensitive that he couldn’t handle, he didn’t want to be left fumbling his words.

“...I hope you are right, Toto.”


He couldn’t talk about it to Toto, so he went to the next best option.

“What could that be? The pieces just don’t fit together.” Ron said, pacing back and forth in his apartment. “Why would he be upset by that? All those little things SHOULD add up, and yet…” He clicked his tongue in frustration, slamming his hands on the table. “It doesn’t!”

Spitz didn’t look up from the newspaper he was reading.

“Mh. Really? I wonder what it could be…”

Ron put his hands on his own hips, trying to look imposing and achieving the exact opposite effect. “Spitz. You have said that four times already. I feel like you are not taking this seriously.”

“With all due respect, I’m not.” He replied, taking a sip out of his coffee. “Oh. Ew. Did you put syrup in here?”

“Yes. But Spitz!” Ron took Spitz’s face between his hands, forcing him to look at him. “I will actually die if I don’t solve this! You have to help me!” He pleaded, trying to sound as desperate as possible.

Ron was unsure if he could call it effective, considering that Spitz just kept staring at him with bored eyes, but eventually, his friend just sighed in resignation.

“I will use a metaphor, and you will have to understand it. Ok?” Spitz asked, his voice a bit funny due to the whole face-holding thing happening.

“Ok!” Ron said enthusiastically, still not letting go.

“So, sometimes, we can’t put the pieces together because we are not even getting the right bigger picture. So, if we try to look at some OTHER perspective, even one that might not have even crossed our minds… that might start with the letter L…”

“The letter L…” Ron let go of Spitz, putting a hand on his own chin, deep in thought about what that mysterious L could be. “L… l-leaving? Toto is leaving?” It was a weak guess, but it scared him enough to ask Spitz anyway, just in case it really was the worst case scenario.

The shy silences. The sometimes-close sometimes-distant attitude. The slip ups. The little favours. Was it all the stress of having to go far away soon showing up? Did Toto try to protect Ron from this reality? Did he try to pretend everything was fine?

Now, it was Spitz's turn to grab Ron’s face, his eyes burning with annoyance.

“LOVE, Ron. He is in love with you, you moron.”

Oh.

Ooooh.

Oooooooh.

Ron did feel like a moron, all of a sudden.


It was a sunny, but cold day, and they were each holding a nice cup of warm tea.

“So, what did you want to talk about, Ron?” Toto asked, taking a sip of his tea.

“I need to ask you something.”

“O-oh. Go ahead.” Toto said, straightening his back.

“Are you in love with me? Like, romantic love. With me.”

Toto choked on his own saliva, and after a hearty coughing session, Ron couldn’t tell if he was blushing due to lack of oxygen or the situation.

“Did Spitz tell you? I asked him to keep it a secret!”

His angry voice was completely lost on Ron, whose mind was just repeating the same sentence to himself.

Toto is in love with me. Holy shit.

...He didn’t mind the feeling at all.

Time to fix the God-knows how many months of being oblivious.

“Toto, what do you think about the two of us dating?”

Notes:

I wanted to try out the 5+1 format.

I hate it! But it was nice to try something new. Took me so long to finish this because I also couldn't be happy with the text itself, but I like the banter between Spitz and Ron.

Thank you for reading!