Chapter Text
I sigh and prop my chin up on my hand, groaning inwardly as my mom won’t stop babbling on during dinner. Around my table sit me, my father, mother, and our friends: Aurora Blake, and her son Bellamy and daughter Octavia. I’ve known them my whole life, so it wasn’t an oddity for them to be at our house. My mom grew up knowing Aurora, and they’ve been close their whole lives. So I basically grew up with her kids, they were my first friends as a child. Octavia was pretty cool, and I guess that we were good enough friends. But, Bellamy on the other hand, was a different story.
Bellamy and I had disliked each other for a long time now, and so when our families hung out it was extremely awkward. We always seemed to find something to argue about, and we could go at each other’s throats for hours if no one were to stop us. It’s not my fault he’s a pompous, egotistical ass who only ever thinks about himself. Both of our parents not-so-secretly wished that we would fall in love and marry each other. My mom loved to talk to me about him, she just didn’t understand how much I really couldn’t stand him.
At the moment, he was eating his spaghetti in silence, but when he noticed me looking over at him, he smirked. I rolled my eyes and stood, startling my mom.
“Clarke, where are you going?”
“I’m finished, I was going to put up my dishes. And I have homework that I should do…”
My mom shot me a fierce glare. It was Friday night, she knew I never did my homework on Friday.
“Really, Clarke?” Octavia chuckled. “I knew you were smart, but I didn’t think you were a nerd. C’mon, you should come with me tonight. My friends are having a party, it’s going to be really fun.”
“Yeah, I don’t know…I wouldn’t know anyone.” Octavia went to the local public high school, while I had been attending the prestigious and private Ark School of Science and Math, nicknamed The Ark, since I was in pre-k. So, suffice it to say, we didn’t run in the same crowd.
“Clarke, I think you should go! You’ll know Octavia, and I’m sure you’ll make some new friends, too.” My dad piped up, and I looked at him, his eyes were shining with hope. My parents constantly worried about me not having any friends, and not getting out of the house. I hadn’t spoken to my ex-best friend, Wells, in almost a year. He did something that I couldn’t forgive, and so I shut him, and everyone else out. I think this was partly the reason why my parents never seemed happy anymore.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Tavia.” Aurora smiled at me. I looked round the table at all of their expectant faces.
“Fine,” I gave in. “But I don’t want to stay all night.”
“Yay!” Octavia squealed, clapping her hands together. We were nearly the same age, I was a senior, she was a junior, but sometimes I felt a lot more mature than her. I rolled my eyes as she stood, grabbing my arm and pulling me toward the stairs.
“Where are we going?”
“To pick out your outfit, duh!”
“What’s wrong with this?” I frowned, looking down at my clothes. I was wearing a baby blue soft sweater and dark jeans that were rolled up at the ankles to fit my on-the-short-side legs.
“I mean, it’s cute and all, but not really party clothes. You know what I mean?” I could tell she was trying not to hurt my feelings, but I just shrugged, looking at her outfit. She was donned in a red top with lace detail, a leather jacket over it, and a tight black skirt pulled over polka-dot tights. On her feet were black combat boots. I had always admired Octavia’s fierce, edgy style, but I knew that I could never pull off something like that. So I stuck to the basics, kept my look soft and girlish, but pretty much stayed away from jewelry and makeup.
I swung open my closet door, stepping into what was probably every girls dream, except mine. I had a huge walk-in closet, with rows of clothes idle on hangers and name-brand shoes and purses that hardly got used. It’s not that I didn’t like them, but I didn’t see the point in having all of this. And my school required uniforms, and I don’t go out much, so where was I supposed to wear it to, anyway? But I guess, now I had somewhere.
Octavia’s eyes lit up like they always did anytime we were in my room. She took a moment to hold her breath, and then began perusing through possible choices.
“So, who’s throwing this party, anyway?”
“Remember my friends Jasper and Monty?”
“Yeah, sure,” I nodded, vaguely remembering a tall lanky boy with a geeky sense of humor, and his equally geeky sidekick who didn’t say much. “It’s their party?”
“Well, sort of. I mean, it’s at Monty’s house, but I pretty much organized and invited everyone.”
I nodded. She started pulling things off the racks, laying them over my chair. I waited until she was finished and she started showing me the options. First she held up a pretty purple dress that I had worn maybe once, I think on our last vacation.
“Yeah, I like that one.” I started to grab for it, but she shook her head, tossing it back on its rack.
“No, it’s too nice. We need something that says, look at me, I’m Clarke Griffin, and I’m a hot, badass princess.”
“Um,” I furrowed my brows. “But I’m not that.”
“But they don’t know that. This is your chance to be someone else, to have a completely different persona. Don’t you ever feel like changing who you are, just for one night?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know…” I admitted. I guess she kind of had a point. I did get bored of myself sometimes, being the daughter of rich parents, having little friends, and saying and doing the same things all the time. “Okay, you’re right. Except, I don’t know if I have anything badass in here…”
“Don’t worry, we’ll find something.”
Twenty minutes and several outfits later, we had decided on my tightest black skinny jeans, a plain white v neck, and a red and black flannel that I didn’t even know I had. Octavia talked me into tying the flannel around my waist. For shoes, I told her I wasn’t doing anything more than my converse. She then rushed me back into my room and to my vanity, sitting me down on the stool.
“Okay, I’ve got ten minutes to make your makeup match your outfit before we have to leave. Party starts in thirty.”
"What kind of makeup are we talking? I don't really wear a lot."
"Clarke, do you trust me?"
I nodded reluctantly and let her work her magic. She swept numerous things across my face, and quicker than I thought possible, I had a subtle smoky eye and winged eyeliner. My lips were painted a dark red. We left my hair natural, it fell past my shoulders in blonde, messy waves.
“Whoa.” I breathed, seeing a new person looking at me in the mirror. “Octavia, holy crap. I look…”
“Totally sexy, I know. Now let’s go!”
I jumped up, grabbing my phone and small purse that held my wallet and went over my shoulder. We both pounded down the stairs, and were met with our parents and Bellamy standing in the entry hall by the door, in the middle of saying goodbye. Everyone did a double take when they saw me, including Bellamy.
“Clarke…?” My mom’s voice trailed off. “I see you finally used all that makeup you’ve got.”
“Not me, it was all Octavia. How do I look?”
“You look, great, as always. Great.” My mom and dad both nodded.
“Okay, we all agree, Clarke looks extremely hot, that’s good. Now we really have to go. Bye Abby, bye Jake! Thanks for dinner! Bye mom, bye Bell!” Tavia hugged everyone, saving her brother for last. They shared a quick but meaningful embrace.
“Be safe, O. I love you.”
“I will. Love you, too.”
I followed her out the door. It always amazed me how Octavia seemed to be the only person Bellamy cared about. It was easy to see how much he loved her, he was the most protective older brother I had ever met, and he was always trying to take care of her. But she was the only one. He was almost five years older than her, about three and a half older than me. I had just turned 18, which made him over 21. He was now attending William and Mary, which was only forty or so minutes away via bus. He came home nearly every day, but he sometimes stayed in his friend’s apartment if he needed to. I never asked, but I think they couldn’t afford for him to live on campus. The only reason he could afford the school was because of all his academic scholarships. He was, I hated to admit, very smart. That, his love for his sister, and his willingness to go to college and have a job, were sadly his only redeeming qualities. Well, that and he was unbearably attractive.
I shook off my thoughts as I hopped into Octavia’s car. Before I was even strapped in, we were off, and I let out a small gasp.
“In a hurry, much?”
“Yes, I am.” She stuck out her tongue without looking at me, and I laughed.
“So, are you going to like ditch me tonight to hang out with some guy?”
“What? What makes you think I’m going for a guy?”
“Because every time I see you, you’re talking about guys. Don’t even try to deny it, you know I’m right. There’s a guy, isn’t there? What’s his name?” I prodded her with questions, seeing a slow grin across her face.
“Okay, you’re kind of right. I did meet a guy, but he’s not going to be at the party. It's not exactly his scene.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, his names Lincoln. I met him at this really cool survival gear store that Jas and I went to. He works there. He’s so nice, and seriously gorgeous.”
“Oh, okay. So, has he asked you out yet?”
“No, but we’ve talked on the phone a few times this week. I think I’ll go and see him at work soon, and maybe he’ll ask me then.”
“Why don’t you ask him? You’re a strong, independent young woman. You don’t need him to make the first move.”
“Clarke, that is so true! You’re right. I think I will ask him out.”
“Good! So does he not go to your school?”
“No, he goes somewhere else. Can’t remember the name.” She suddenly turned up the radio. “I love this song!” she exclaimed and began singing along.
The rest of the ride was like this, no talking. I gathered myself when we arrived at Monty’s house, realizing this was the first social event with this many people my age I had been to in a long time. I would survive this, though. I wasn’t boring, nice little Clarke tonight. I was someone new. And maybe the new me would last.
I followed Octavia through the yard and into the house, which was already filled with people and pumping music. I gazed around, seeing teenagers everywhere. Dancing, drinking, eating, talking. Octavia led me around until she found who she was looking for. I recognized Monty and Jasper standing in the kitchen and they both embraced Octavia excitedly.
“Hey Mon, Jas, you remember Clarke, right?”
“Clarke Griffin?” Monty asked, his mouth wide. “You look, um, different.”
“Good different,” Jasper clarified, his face lighting up. I blushed, but tried not to look too affected.
“Thanks. Nice party.” I gestured around.
“You’re welcome, can I get you a drink? Some food, maybe?”
“Um, I just ate but I’ll take a coke if you have some.” I thought about having a beer, but I figured Octavia would, and one of us needed to be able to drive home safely.
“Yeah, coke, sure.” Jasper nodded and reached into the nearby fridge. He handed me a can, his fingers brushing mine slightly. I pulled away awkwardly.
Octavia started up a conversation and we talked for a little while, and they introduced me to some of their other friends, like Roma, Harper, Nathan who went by his last name Miller, and Monroe. They all seemed pretty cool, even though Jasper and Monty didn’t seem like the type to be popular. But Octavia definitely was, and maybe they were popular by default for being her friend. Jasper kind of gave me the vibe that he had a crush on Octavia, which was sweet, but I felt bad because she only thought of him as a friend.
Eventually Octavia had to use the bathroom, so I left the kitchen behind her. I looked around the large living room for someone who looked like they wanted company. I didn’t have to look for long, because I was nearly knocked over. I let out a grunt and caught myself with the back of a chair. I turned around to see who had hit me.
“Oh, shit, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you,” said a tall, long-haired boy. He looked about my age, and genuinely sorry for almost falling on me.
“No worries,” I assured him. He smiled at me, holding out his hand.
“I’m Finn. Have we met?”
“I’m Clarke. No, I don’t go to your school. I’m just here with a friend.”
“Oh, well then, very nice to meet you, Clarke. Is there any way I can show you how sorry I am?” he winked at me, and my heart leapt.
“Well,” I laughed, “all I really want is someone to hang out with. Octavia’s in the bathroom, but she probably wanted to be rid of me, anyway. Do you know her, Octavia?”
“The Blake girl? Yeah, of course. She’s pretty cool. How do you two know each other?”
“Old family friends.”
“Ahh. Here, do you wanna sit?” He gestured toward the half empty couch, and I nodded, curling one leg under the other as I sat facing him. “So, Clarke, what school do you go to?”
I sighed, and thought about lying. But I didn’t really see the point, and besides, this guy was really cute, and nice. I didn’t want to lie to him. “You probably know it best as The Ark.”
“Oh, so you’re a private school girl? Nice. I’ve actually never met anyone from there.”
“Well, now you have. Consider yourself privileged.” I did a short mock bow, making him laugh.
“Thank you for granting me with your presence, Princess.” He bowed back, getting a laugh out of me. When I heard him say princess, though, it triggered something in my brain. Some memory, déjà vu or something. But I couldn’t think of what. I ignored the feeling, perfectly content to sit here and talk to my new friend.
We talked for what felt like hours, about everything. Our lives, dreams, hopes, and this boy was everything I had ever imagined my perfect boyfriend would be like. He was handsome, he could make me laugh, he listened, and he understood me. It was all interrupted by a hard tap on my shoulder. I jumped, turning to see Octavia.
“Clarke, we’re leaving. Now.”
“What? Why?” I demanded. “What time is it?”
“It’s only nine-“
“We’ve been here for an hour, and we’re leaving?”
“Please. I want to leave.” Her face showed desperation and I turned serious. I stood, putting a hand on her arm.
“Tavia, what’s wrong?” I whispered worriedly.
“I just, I need to be alone. I feel really sick or something. And I don’t think I can drive. I had a few beers.”
I sighed, looking back at Finn who was politely looking away, trying not to eavesdrop.
“Okay,” I said, turning back to her. “We can leave. Just, meet me at the door, okay?”
She nodded and disappeared in the general direction of the front door. I turned back to Finn, who gave me an easy smile. “Well, looks like I’m leaving. It was really nice to meet you, Finn.”
“I had fun, Clarke.” He stood, about a foot from me. “Do you think, maybe, I could see you again?”
“Sure, I would like that,” I nodded, trying not to show how breathless I was. “Here, let me give you my number.” I nodded towards his phone that I could see in his front pocket. He shook his head, looking around the room for a second. I frowned, not sure what he was doing until he reached for a pen off the coffee table. He held it out for me, nodding towards his outstretched arm. I laughed, taking the pen and moving closer. I wrote it in neat handwriting, adding my name and a smiley face.
“So, how long do I have to wait to call you for it to be socially acceptable?” He grinned, his eyes lighting up.
“You don’t look like a guy who follows the social norm to me.”
“You’re right, I don’t. But, I would if you wanted me to.”
“You can call me whenever the hell you want. Whether that’s tonight, tomorrow, the next day or next week. Screw social rules. I don’t wanna deal with any of that anymore.”
“Good, neither do I. I’ll talk to you soon, then.”
“Okay. Goodnight, Finn.” I smiled one last time before leaving him. I made my way through the throngs of people, and found Octavia waiting patiently at the door. She handed me her keys and I opened the door. “Race ya!” I yelled, running excitedly towards her car. I slammed my hand down on the hood to show I had made it first, when I realized she hadn’t been running behind me. She was still coming at a slow pace, and I shrugged, getting into the driver’s seat and revving up the car. When she finally got in, she landed in the seat with a huff and leaned her head back.
“You should probably call my mom or Bell and let them know we’re on our way.”
“Okay. Wait, do you want to just stay at my house? Otherwise I can’t get home.”
“What about you staying at our apartment?”
“I guess that could work. Your mom wouldn’t mind?”
“She doesn’t mind anything, trust me.” Octavia trailed off sounding tired. I let her rest as we drove, and stopped at my house to get a few overnight essentials. It was on the way, conveniently. I left her in the car and began dialing her mother to let her know the plan. No answer. I tried her two more times, but still no answer. With a groan, I searched through my contacts and found Bellamy’s number, which I had put in there a long time ago at the request of my mother. He answered on the third ring.
“Why are you calling me, Princess?”
I sucked in a breath, realizing why I had that feeling of déjà vu earlier. Bellamy had come up with that nickname for me, when we were young. He hadn’t said it in forever, I had almost forgotten.
“Octavia and I are on our way over there.” I replied, my voice as irritated as it ever was when I had to talk to him. “She had a few beers, so I’m driving and I guess I’m staying the night, too.”
“Oh? You’re on your way already? O never leaves parties this early.” He sounded as shocked as I had been.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. She said she feels sick. Anyway, just wanted to give you guys a heads up. For the record, I tried your mom first. No answer. That’s the only reason I called you.”
“Okay then, whatever you say, Princess.”
“Please, stop calling me that.”
“I’ll think about it. Anyway, make sure you guys aren’t too loud tonight. I need my beauty sleep.”
“Okay,” I laughed. “Who’s the princess, now?”
“Still you. It’s always you, Clarke. I mean, Princess.”