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Akande worried the bouquet of roses in his hand, feeling his anxieties rise higher in his throat to choke him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, Jesse had invited him over that night, it wasn’t like he was going to turn him away at the door. He had wanted to have a night as a whole family again, and said he was going to make Akande’s favorite.
“It’s Ahunna’s favorite too,” Carmen had told him when he got off the phone with Jesse.
Of course it was Ahunna’s favorite. She had been named for the sake of how similar she was to him after all. It should come as no surprise to anyone that she had more in common with him than their face.
The thought of seeing her older than he remembered terrified him. It terrified him with all of the kids, really. It had been startling enough seeing Carmen when she started visiting him at the supermax, and even more when just a few months before Gabi had visited him the day after they turned eighteen. He couldn’t imagine what it was going to feel like seeing the ones who had gone through much more drastic changes than getting a little taller and more confident.
He wondered if the house was still as rowdy and chaotic as he remembered. If the halls were constantly filled with children’s laughter, and squealing as they chased each other about and played. He hoped it was, he hoped that joy hadn’t disappeared in his absence.
Again it hit him that no matter how much he wished, the house would be different. There were no more babies in its walls, for starters. He had to thank whatever power was out there that none of his kids had fallen into the same societal trap their papa did and started having babies too young. Based on what Carmen and Gabi had told him, he had years before he even had to worry about any of them seriously mating, and much more than that before they started having kids. Still, there were no babies in the house and that scared him. His youngest two had recently turned five, and his oldest was twenty one.
It felt wrong to think such a thing on its own. They had been so young when he was arrested. It was only five years before, but they had all passed insane milestones in their growth. And he had missed them all.
“Stop worrying so much,” Carmen’s voice finally pulled him from his thoughts.
He looked down at his daughter and found her looking up at him very unimpressed, but slightly amused.
“Everything is going to be fine,” she tried to reassure. “The worst that happens is you get your ears talked off with questions.”
That wasn’t the worst that could happen. They both knew well all the things that could go wrong. He didn’t correct her though, just nodded and looked back ahead, taking a deep breath before knocking at the door.
There was a long moment where nothing happened. If he strained his ears hard enough, Akande thought maybe he could hear clattering inside the house, maybe some music shutting off.
The door opened, a young girl stood in the doorway, hair pulled back in a loose ponytail that had wavy strands framing her face. She couldn’t be older than seven, but something about her made her feel more mature. It reminded him of Ayún when they had been about the same age, they had always taken themself so seriously.
The girl looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, looking like recognition was on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t quite figure him out.
“Yejide, who’s at the door?” a boy called from inside the house, and Akande could almost cry because he knew that voice. He knew that voice so well, he had taught it how to speak.
The girl- yejide , his little yejide- examined him for one more moment before ducking back in and shouting back, never taking her eyes off of him, “I don’t know.”
“Then why is the door still open?” another voice Akande recognized so well snipped.
A second later, the owner of the first voice appeared, a slightly panicked expression on his face. The expression melted away when he saw Akande's, however, and was replaced with an undeluded joy. It was almost enough to make Akande momentarily forget the tightness in his chest from his daughter’s lack of recognition, just to see his son light up.
“You’re here,” Gavril said with the widest smile.
“I’m here,” Akande confirmed, giving a soft smile in return. A second later, his fifteen year old son had launched forward and clung to him, laughing into his chest.
Akande held him for a while, smiling still until they pulled back and he saw the tears streaking down his son’s face. He reached up and brushed them away with his thumb, but Gavril just laughed wetly and shook his head.
“I just can’t believe you’re really here,” he said.
Akande couldn’t either.
He couldn’t believe he was holding his little boy again. The one who had barely come up to his waste the last time he saw him and was now able to rest his head on his chest.
“GG, what’s going on?” the second voice came, tense and worried. Akande looked up in time for Ming to come into the doorway and freeze.
His mouth moved like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t seem to properly figure out what that something was. When he seemed truly stuck, he looked to Carmen, and sighed, gently flicking Yejide on the back of the head.
“You know who Carmen is,” he said impatiently to his sister.
“I couldn’t see her past the wall of muscle,” Yejide said, glaring up at him.
Ming put his hands up in surrender, then looked to Carmen with a smile, “Aneki, it’s been a while.”
“Only a few months,” Carmen smiled and drew her brother into a hug. When they pulled back, Yejide practically leaped forward, latching onto Carmen. Carmen laughed and held onto her, running a hand through the girl’s messy hair.
“Papa had to run out, but he’ll be back soon,” Ming said, moving back into the house. “You guys can make yourself at home. Everyone else is here.”
“Everyone?” Carmen asked, picking Yejide up onto her hip as she went in.
“Well not everyone everyone,” Ming said. “Grandma is in Canada taking care of some stuff before the move, and Auntie and Papa aren’t really on speaking terms right now so she and the others aren’t here.”
Akande listened to their conversation fade off as they went further into the house. His feet felt cemented to the front porch. He knew everything would change the moment he stepped through the threshold of the house.
“Come on,” Gavril regained his attention, tugging at his arm. His smile had turned a bit mischievous, reminding Akande of a certain ninja who had more than a hand in his making.
Akande let himself be dragged in, letting his mind forget it’s worries for the moment as Gavril excitedly showed him the first room of the house, immediately launching into a story while Akande pulled off his coat about how there had been the great coat avalanche of ‘73 the year before that resulted in them having to expand the coat closet.
Akande misled and nodded along with the story, hanging up his coat on one of the free hooks of the large closet Gavril spoke about.
“-and Papa fell off the ladder while installing the hat shelves above, but don’t worry he fell into like a cloud of jackets and just laughed while Grandma worried over him- incoming,” Gavril said.
“Incoming?” Akande asked, confused. There was no time for Gavril to answer, because a second later he was falling to the ground, hitting with a thud that made him wince. He didn’t focus on the fall though, he could have forgotten the soreness in his shoulder completely if he wanted to, because what had taken him down was so much more worth his attention.
Four teenagers clung onto him, laughing like there was no tomorrow. Mercedes, Jacques, Jasper and Josephina all sat scattered around or on top of him, looking very pleased with themselves for being able to take him down.
Akande let them laugh for a moment before moving quickly, scooping all four up in his arms. He couldn’t help but grin at the way they squealed and giggled, holding into him for balance and wiggling in the confines of his arms.
“GG help us!” Mercedes called through giggles to their older brother. Gavril just whistled innocently, pretending to have not heard her.
“No one can help you now,” Akande said with joke menace before he started to tickle them. They laughed and tried to escape, but they were no match for him, and soon all four were reduced to weak giggling deadweights in his arms.
“You’re all so big,” Akande observed. “I almost can’t hold you all at once anymore.”
“I think you’re just old,” Gavril teased, and Akande shot his son a playful glare.
“Barely made it past the front door huh?” a voice pulled Akande’s attention to the archway leading out of the hall where Gabi leaned, arms crossed over their chest as they smiled down at the group.
“I was ambushed,” Akande said, nodding to their younger siblings.
“I can’t see,’ Gabi’s smile grew a little wider. “Looks like you got it under control though.”
“I wouldn’t mind some help,” Akande said.
“No can do, I’m supposed to be watching dinner until Papa gets back,” Gabi said.
“I didn’t know we were for dinner,” Akande said. “So either the menu has changed or you never told me you had the ability to duplicate.”
“What’s the point of having this many younger siblings if I can’t order them around?” Gabi asked. “I have Ahunna watching it, and Moyashi watching her.”
Moyashi. That name alone choked Akande slightly, and that could seem to come to mind was Gabi at five years old running around the apartment shouting “Moyashi” over and over again until he or Jesse could catch them. They would giggle in their arms, and keep chanting for the beansprouts until finally they heated up some leftovers.
Moyashi wasn’t just the silly games of tag they played with their child for bean sprouts anymore. Two years before, Gabi had gone through that traditional Shimada ceremony, led only by Genji who had studied for years to make sure he got it right. Akande knew there was an intricate dragon tattoo on Gabi’s chest, curled up there over their heart like it was sleeping. He knew that when Gabi wanted, a red dragon slipped from that tattoo and lived with them as a companion who had been trapped inside of them since birth.
Gabi had passed the Shimada milestone of maturity when he was gone. So had Takara, and Ayún, and the triplets were set to the coming spring.
“But who’s watching Moyashi?” Gavril asked with a grin, pulling Akande from his spiraling thoughts again.
“You’re going to get back to the kitchen on fire,” Jasper said.
“Probably,” Gabi sighed, defeated, then smiled at Akande again. “Come on, I already have tea made.”
“Not with this you Papa’s definition of tea, or literally everyone else on earth’s definition of tea?” Akande asked, carefully letting the kids in his arms go so that they all could stand.
“It’s jasmin,” Gabi waved over their shoulder, turning back through the archway.
“That didn’t answer my question,” Akande smiled and followed after. He listened as he walked to the small gaggle of teens behind him whispering amongst themselves. A part of him hoped Ming and Yejide’s reactions to him were isolated incidents, and the rest of the kids were happy as the six he entered the kitchen with.
He tried his best not to startle at the dragon perched on the counter by the stove watching over the eleven year old there. It was small, in its domestic form he had seen Genji’s in before, but it would never stop being a startling thing for him to see a mythical being sitting like a cat-ferret hybrid in his family’s kitchen.
“Moyashi,” Gabi called and made a clicking sound twice.
The dragon perked up and hopped through the hair, landing on Gabi’s outstretched hand like a falcon. It only stayed there for a moment, before its eyes settled on Akande and it perked up, hopping through the air once again, this time to curl loosely around Akand’s shoulders, rubbing its head against him while making a soft chirping sound.
“Looks like she likes you,” Gabi said, chuckling a bit as they approached the stove. They waved Ahunna off, thanking her for watching it. “Go say hi to Baba.”
“Baba?” Ahunna asked, tilting her head confused. She glanced over her shoulder, and quickly her eyes landed on Akande. It took a second, but recognition did flash in them, and her entire demeanor changed.
But instead of the joy Akande thought he might see, Ahunna shifted awkward and nervous.
“Hi,” she said slowly, eyes darting between him and Gabi.
Gabi noticed her reaction and their shoulders dropped a bit. They sighed, and nodded to the other archway, “Carmen should be here too.”
Ahunna lit up slightly and nodded, rushing out of the room before Akande could say anything in return to her greeting.
A thick silence fell over the room, and Akande saw as all but Gabi seemed to fill with a nervous energy. Gabi stayed perfectly calm, checking the food quickly before moving to grab down mugs from the cupboards. They poured tea for everyone in the room, but when Mercedes and the twins got their hands on theirs, they disappeared from the room leaving only Gabi, Gavril, and Jacq with him.
“Papa should be back any minute,” Gabi said, handing Gavril and Jacq their mugs. “When you’re finished, go and wait by the door, he will need help with the groceries.”
“We will. Thank you Gabi,” Gavril said.
“You’re welcome,” Gabi said.
A moment later, those two were gone as well, and Akande was alone with his second oldest child.
He sat down at the table with his mug of tea, watching as Gabi measured sugar into their own mug before taking the seat next to him. Gabi wouldn’t look up from their mug, lightly tipping it back and forth so the tea swirled along the walls of it.
“I never thought Ahunna would be the shy type,” Akande said, breaking their silence.
“She’s usually not,” Gabi admitted, then, “Please don’t take it personally. She just needs some time to warm up again. She’s grown up a lot since you’ve been gone.”
“You all have,” Akande said.
Gabi dipped their head, seemingly subconsciously reaching up with their free hand to grip the shirt over where Akande had been told their tattoo sat.
“Not any more than Papa would let us,” Gabi said. “He and Grandma worked pretty hard to make our lives as normal as possible. I think the closest we’ve gotten to unordinary life is jumping between private and homeschooling.”
“It’s hard to imagine your papa and grandma doing anything normal in their lives,” Akande hummed.
“It wasn’t easy,” Gabi said. “And most of us just played along for the younger kids. They’re active members of the PTA and HOA, Tia Ashe and Papa’s issues are treated like normal sibling disputes, Grandma and Papa work together as freelancers and that’s why they’re always getting hurt, just small things like that. Things to make us blend in.”
“So the kids don’t know the truth?” Akande checked.
“No, they know,” Gabi said. “Papa treated it like it was normal so that it wouldn’t be some big thing to them. He, Grandma and Tia just frame everything like this so people don’t figure us out and the kids don’t accidentally give us away.”
Now that sounded more like Jesse and Sojourn. As long as he had known their family, they had always had the remarkable ability to make the strange feel ordinary. They could compartmentalize the chaos until it was simple and easy to handle. It had been a skill Akande greatly admired in them all from the start.
He still admired it. Admired that Jesse had passed down such a skill to their children.
“And how are you handling normal?” Akande asked.
Gabi let out a small laugh and shook their head, “I honestly don’t know. I graduated high school, and now I’m doing the University thing because I might as well, but I have no clue what I’m really doing.”
“That sounds normal to me,” Akande said. “When I was your age I was in university. There may have been a war going on at the time, but the schools worked to stay open and give us the best education they could considering the circumstances.”
“Sometimes I forget you didn’t have some crazy childhood,” Gabi said. “It’s weird to think you used to be the normal we’ve been pretending to be.”
“Well, as normal as you could get in a warzone,” Akande said.
Gabi just shook their head, “You were in your late teens by the time the war started, and an adult when it ended. You remember a childhood without any of this,” Gabi motioned around them.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t believe ‘normal’ has ever suited any of you. Especially not one Gabi Reyes,” Akande said.
Gabi gave him a small smile, then took a long drink of their tea. Akande did the same, and tried not to roll his eyes when teh extreme sweet of the tea hit his tongue. And to think, Gabi had added even more than that.
When they finished their cup, Gabi rinsed their mug in the sink and set it aside, moving over to the stove again to check the food.
A few seconds later, Akande heard the electronic chime alerting that the front door had opened, followed by Gavril and Jacq’s laughter, with a base line of deep laughter that had a rare and beautiful warmth blooming in Akande’s chest. He only had to wait a moment, and the three came into the kitchen with arms full of bags.
Akande had seen him once before since breaking out of the supermax, but if felt so different when it was in the comforts of their family’s home instead of in the field. It felt different to see his husband dressed so casually, in a brown button up and jeans, his shoes, had, and serape put away where they were supposed to be by the door.
He had his normal prosthesis on instead of the one purposely designed for combat, his wedding band molded onto the sleek metal. With his hair pulled back and serape off, the mark of their bond was clear against the skin of his neck. And just those two tiny details had Akande feeling okay again for the first time in a long time.
“Baba, Papi brought us dessert!” Jacq reported to Akande excitedly.
“That was supposed to be a surprise,” Jesse lightly scolded, setting the grocery bags on the counter.
“Sorry Papi,” Jacq giggled, helping Gavril as he started to put the groceries away.
Gabi got up from the table, helping out the others to reach the places that were too high for them and make sure everything was in its right spot.
Akande was so distracted by watching the kids pleasantly work together that he hadn’t noticed Jesse moving until Moyashi skittered away, and arms wrapped around him from behind.
“Welcome home,” Jesse murmured, pressing a kiss to Akande’s temple.
Akande hummed and leaned back into his touch, “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I’m supposed to be saying that to you.”
“Let’s just call it even,” Jesse said. “Now I believe, Mr. Ogundimu, you owe me something.”
“I do,” Akande said. “I hope you can forgive me, it’s long overdue.”
“I’ll think about it,” Jesse said.
Akande turned his head, leaning up just a bit so he could capture Jesse’s lips in his own.
He melted at the familiar feeling of those lips. Everything about them was known and welcome. It was everything he had missed in the past five years wrapped into one. All he had needed all this time was Jesse there.
“Oh gross!” Gavril said, causing them both to pull back only enough to laugh.
“Papa, Baba, really, in front of the baby?” Gabi asked.
“I think it’s cute!” Jacq protested.
“I was talking about Moyashi,” Gabi said.
“I can’t leave you alone for ten minutes without you getting into trouble,” Carmen said from the doorway as they both straightened up. She had her hands on her hips, an eyebrow raised, the perfect picture of her papa when he was exasperated with something Akande or the kids had done. Every day he saw something more of Jesse in her and every day it made him endlessly happy.
“I would hardly call kissing my husband trouble,” Akande said.
“It is when you’re traumatizing the poor children,” Carmen said.
“A few minutes back together and they’re already being gross?” Takara asked, both her and Ayún now with Carmen.
“Would they be our dads if they weren’t?” Carmen asked.
“Please, who raised you all to be so dramatic,” Jesse said. He laughed as he dodged a thrown house slipper, and moved back over to the stove to take the pot off the heat. “Alright alright, call everyone in. Dinner is ready.”
And just like that everyone filtered into the dinning room that had to have three eight seater tables around the room, with a smaller table meant for the youngest kids.
Akande waited until everyone else was seated, just to be sure he didn’t take anyone’s seat. It appeared no one sat next to Jesse besides Carmen, so Akande happily took the seat on the other side of him. They started serving up food, Akande unable to help but smile, listening as the kids talked around them.
Before he could take a bite of his food though, a small voice spoke up, “Why is he in grandma’s seat?”
Akande looked over with Jesse to the table a few feet away and found one of the younger boys staring back at them. He pointedly wasn’t looking at Akande, instead locking eyes with Jesse.
It made Akande sick that he wasn’t sure which one of his sons this one was.
“I thought Sojourn wasn’t joining us tonight,” Akande whispered to Jesse.
“She’s not,” Jesse whispered back, then turned back to their child, “Honey, Grandma isn’t here tonight, so your baba was going to sit next to me instead.”
“But Grandma sits next to you,” he protested.
“She does, but she’s not here right now,” Jesse said. “Your baba is-”
“It’s always Grandma and Carmen next to you,” he said, clearly starting to work himself up. “He can’t sit there, it’s not his seat, it’s Grandma’s!”
“Sunkanki, I understand it’s confusing, and I promise this is still your grandma’s seat, but he is using it for tonight,” Jesse said. “We can even call your grandma and get her permission if it makes you feel better.”
“No,” Sunkanki said, looking like he was about to start crying any second.
Jesse opened his mouth to say something else, but Akande just placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile.
“It’s okay,” Akande said. “I had some stuff I needed to grab from the car, and I wasn’t very hungry anyways.”
“Are you sure?” Jesse asked.
“I am,” Akande nodded. When he stood he pressed a kiss onto Jesse’s head, and squeezed Carmen’s shoulder when he passed by her. She gave him a sad smile that he tried to forget as he stepped out the door.
He grabbed his coat for the closet, smiling when he saw the cowboy hat and serape hung up nearby it. He pulled it on, pulling out his phone with it. No calls from anyone at Talon, that should be a good sign that everything was going smoothly and their recent slip ups had been nothing but isolated incidents.
As he stepped back out in the hall, he noticed a family photo taken recently. Akande only knew how recent it was because Gabi stood in the center of the picture with their graduation cap and gown, holding up a high school diploma with a bright smile. Jesse stood beside them, arm wrapped around their shoulder, with Carmen on the other side holding their arm and looking like she had been mid laugh. The rest of their family filled the photo, but Akande couldn’t help but think that the space behind Gabi was too empty. Someone was supposed to be there filling it.
Just as he had with every other pain that day, Akande stamped those thoughts down and took a deep breath. He raised up his phone and took a picture of the framed photo, then moved to pull his shoes on.
His nose crunched through the thin layer of frost and leaves covering the driveway and popped the trunk of the rental car.
The trunk was filled with an army of boxes containing the gifts he had picked out with Carmen, the back seat of the car matching. Five gifts for each kid, to make up for the birthdays missed. Each box was colorfully wrapped in what Carmen said was each of their favorite colors, with nice bows that had a name card attached.
Carefully he started to load his arms with the boxes, managing only to fit about a quarter of them his first trip. He deposited them in the entry hall, then went back outside for the next load. Back and forth he went, until all of the boxes were inside.
He stayed outside, even after he was done, being sure the door was shut correctly so that none of the heat would escape into the late autumn air.
He only had to search for a bit before he found what he needed. A rake, left out from the last time the leaves must have been collected. He took it in his flesh hand, to afraid to break it in the other, and started to methodically collect the last leaves that had been left out into a pile on the lawn. He knew the kids had chores, and that this was one that was open to them, but thought they might find it nice to come out and find half of the job had already been done for them.
He looked around the yard for something else to do. Something else to occupy his time with so that he didn’t spiral into the thoughts that tried to creep in.
They don’t recognize you.
They’re afraid of you.
You don’t belong here.
“Hey,” a voice started Akande, and he looked back to the front door and found Ming on the front steps, his coat and beanie pulled on as he wrapped his arms around himself.
Akande immediately put on a smile, “Hey. Is there something you need?”
Ming hesitated before shaking his head and sitting down on the steps. He seemed to be waiting for something, and it took Akande longer that he wanted to admit to realize it was for Akande to sit down next to him.
“I’m sorry about earlier,” Ming said when they had been seated in silence for a little too long. “I just didn’t know what to say.”
“It’s okay,” Akande said. “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t have known what to say either.”
Ming let out a heavy sigh and curled in further on himself, a shadow of the confident son Akande remembered.
“It’s been a while,” Ming said. “I don’t think I remember how to talk to you. I definitely don’t know how to talk to you now that I’m a teenager. Now that I know everything about… well, you know.”
Akande did know. He knew all too well, and it was what made him surprised that any of the kids went near him at all.
Ming let out a self deprecating laugh and shook his head, “Honestly? I just don’t know what to do now. I spent five years wishing you would come home, and now that you’re here, I don’t know what to do next.”
“You don’t have to,” Akande said. “That is not your job to worry about, it’s mine. It will take time, but all you need to worry about is being a child.”
“It’s so hard,” Ming took in a shaking breath. His head dropped into his hands, and Akande risked resting a hand on his back to try and soothe him as his shoulders shook.
“It’s so hard to remember the good stuff,” Ming said. “All I can remember is seeing you on the news, and Papa telling us you weren’t coming home. And it’s like I just forgot everything that came before that.”
Akande gave up on rubbing his back, and instead fully pulled him into his arms, holding him as he promised how everything was going to be okay, and he was back.
He promised he wouldn’t leave him again, and he meant it with all of his soul. He would never leave them again. No matter what it took, Akande was going to make sure his children knew safety and comfort for the rest of their days and never had to worry about him disappearing from their lives. He would be the father they deserved if it was the last thing he did.
After a few minutes of just sitting there like that, the door behind them opened and Akande looked up to see Jesse standing there, worry creasing his brow.
Jesse closed the door behind him, and carefully stepped down onto the porch, kneeling down in front of them so he was closer to Ming’s eye level.
“Hey baby,” he said, reaching out a hand that MIng quickly took. “What’s going on? We were starting to worry when you never came back.”
“I’m just sitting with Baba,” Ming said, pressing closer into him. “Can I stay out for a little longer?”
“Of course. We left your dinner out for you,” Jesse said.
Ming nodded, and stated like that for another moment, but when Jesse started to stand he surged forward and grabbed his hand.
“Stay with us?” Ming asked.
Jesse smiled softly down at him and took a seat on his other side. Soon, Ming was held between them, his breaths getting steadier by the second.
They stayed like that for a long moment before Jesse squeezed Ming’s shoulder and smiled at him, “Your dinner is getting cold.”
Ming nodded heavily, staying there for one more moment. Finally he stood, giving Akande a weak smile before heading inside.
They waited until the door clicked closed.
“I saw your roses,” Jesse said, breaking the silence of the cold air. “Two dozen. It was cute.”
“I’m glad you liked them,” Akande smiled.
“I saw the gift boxes too,” Jesse said.
“I didn’t want to show up empty handed,” Akande said.
Jesse hummed and scooted closer, resting his head on his shoulder. They stayed like that, just breathing in each other’s presence in a way they hadn’t been able to in years.
Akande was so consciously aware of the time between them. He had been out for months, but the infuriating visitation glass still stood between them, and it made Akande sick. He didn’t want them to be like this, he didn’t want to be silent, he wanted to kiss him until neither could breathe again, and there was nothing between them besides the kids inside they needed to get back to.
“Relax,” Jesse murmured, one hand rubbing up his chest. “I know it’s hard. It’s going to take time. But we can get through it, I promise. You’re home.”
Jesse soothed away the tension Akande hadn't noticed until he was leaning against the railing on the porch steps.
“I need your help,” Akande said. It was something he would only ever admit to Jesse. No one else would ever hear those words from his lips but him.
Jesse hummed, pressing his lips to Akande’s shoulder in encouragement.
Akande pulled out his phone and switched it onto its holographic projection mode. The picture of Gabi’s graduation now floating in front of them.
“Can you tell me who each of them are?” Akande asked, working to keep his voice steady.
Another kiss was pressed to his shoulder and Jesse mumbled into it, “Of course.”
When he pulled back, they started going through each person in the picture, even the ones Akande knew. He hovered over each face, connecting to them links that lead to their baby albums in his phone. Notes went under the album, their favorite colors and food and how they did in school well documented for him to study up on. The names connected with faces, and gradually he came to know his children again.
By the time they finished it was getting dark out. They headed back inside to find the house in a peaceful movement as all the kids got ready for bed and went off to their rooms.
Gabi and Carmen tried to direct the traffic of their siblings together, laughing and joking and lightly pushing each other around when they weren’t focused on the others.
Warmth grew in Akande’s chest watching them. He swore those two specifically would be the death of him, and he couldn't wait.
“Papa, Baba,” Gabi greeted through a stifled laugh as they approached, attempting to stand their ground against Carmen less than subtly trying to push them over with her hip. They tried to fight back but couldn’t quite get enough leverage and were left to just stand their ground. It achingly reminded Akande of when they were little.
“We already got the youngest ones to bed,” Carmen reported, grinning as she put more effort into her push.
“Thank you,” Jesse smiled at them. Akande could see the hint of mischief in his eyes the split second before both of their children were restrained by one of his arms each as he pressed kisses to their heads. They giggled and pushed at him, but it was clear neither had real intentions of escaping their papa’s grip.
“You two need sleep too,” Akande said after the three were settled and calmed. “You have school tomorrow too, Gabi.”
“I know I know,” Gabi sighed dramatically. Then they brightened up and turned to their sister, “Did you want to see the new game I’ve been playing?”
“Hell yeah,” Carmen grinned.
Then the two were off running down the hall towards the stairs that would bring them up to the attic bedroom Gabi had told Akande all about. They were out of sight before Akande could even finish yelling after them, “I said sleep, not game!”
Jesse chuckled beside him and patted his shoulder, simply grinning that grin he passed on to Carmen when Akande looked down at him exasperated.
“You have to just learn to take what you can get with those two,” Jesse said. “Come on, Mr. Ogundimu, you need to take your own advice.”
“Now Mr. Ogundimu-Reyes, if I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to get me into bed with you,” Akande smirked.
“Why would you ever think such a thing of me,” Jesse said, arms wrapping around his to guide him down the hall.
Akande ignored the fact that he knew none of the layout of his own house.
When the bedroom door closed behind them, Jesse pressed up onto his toes and rested his hands solidly against Akande’s chest for balance as he kissed him.
It was a shorter kiss than what Akande would have wanted. He felt the longing pull at him as Jesse lowered back down and stepped away to start getting ready for bed.
Akande moved to the en suite bathroom, smiling despite himself when he found the bag he retrieved with the gifts had been brought in and sat on the counter. He didn’t bother closing the door as he got ready. Nearly twelve years of marriage, and as many children as they had together, Akande had no qualms of being this vulnerable with this man.
He undressed quickly, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and nothing else. He washed his face, and brushed his teeth, and finished everything he needed to before leaving the bathroom again.
He froze in the doorway to the bathroom, unable to help but stare at Jesse’s back and he went about his own nighttime routine.
Akande watched, transfixed as Jesse unbuttoned his shirt and shucked it down to his elbows. He let down his hair, brown waves falling beautifully across the back of his neck and the tops of his shoulders. He had let it grow out. As if it all wasn’t beautiful enough, Jesse reached a hand up and brushed his hair aside on one side, in a captivating display showing off the mark on his neck. His fingers traced along the scaring, pressing into it and tracing along patterns Akande wasn’t aware it held.
He moved swiftly, taking long strides across the room.
His metal arm wrapped around Jesse’s middle, his hand settling on his opposite waist to hold him solidly in place against Akande. His flesh arm wrapped around Jesse’s chest, his pinkie, ring and middle fingers holding his husband’s throat while his index finger and thumb trapped his chin and jaw. He applied the light pressure to it before Jesse moved with Akande’s guidance to expose his neck and that mark.
Akande pressed the softest kiss over the mark, allowing his teeth to graze it before kissing it again. His movement was nothing short of reverent worship, and he prayed that Jesse could feel it.
His heart kept beating for the way Jesse melted into the embrace, leaning back into him with a hum of contentment.
When Akande was satisfied with the mark’s treatment, he effortlessly shifted his position to lift Jesse off his feet and carry him to the bed. He sat down, keeping Jesse in his lap as he finished pulling off the button down shirt.
“Careful there, someone might start to think you missed me,” Jesse said, the joke falling flat in a breathless whisper.
Akande burried his face in the space between his shoulder and throat, slightly shaking his head as he breathed.
“I missed you all,” he said against the mark.
Jesse silently reached up, his flesh hand settling on the back of Akande’s head as they stayed like that.
They didn’t move for a long time. When they did, it was only so Jesse could gently, lovingly remove Akande’s arm and start checking over the prosthesis, port, and skin around it as he used to before wrapping it and setting it on the nightstand.
Akande ducked his head in shame when Jesse had to move to do the same to his own arm. He didn’t remember how to treat Jesse’s arm. He didn’t remember how to do any of this.
“It’s okay,” Jesse whispered, soothing him again. “You’ll get back into the swing of things. We all will. It will be okay.”
“Why do you know me so well?” Akande asked, voice coming thicker than he wanted. “No one else could figure out how I am feeling. You make it impossible to hide.”
“Because I love you,” Jesse said. He pulled back to cup Akande’s face with his one hand, giving him a soft smile. “I’m your husband, and your mate. I’ll always know you better than anyone, darlin’.”
“They don’t know me,” he said. “Yejide and Ahunna did not recognize me. My own children don’t know who I am.”
“They don’t remember,” Jesse agreed. “But it’s going to be okay. They will meet you, and get to know you.”
“And I won’t be the stranger sitting in their grandmother’s chair anymore?”
Jesse seemed pained for a moment before rolling off of Akande’s lap and onto the bed. Gently he coaxed Akande to follow and lay in the bed beside him, curled up together under the covers.
Akande did remember this. He remembered it every lonely night in his cell, every moment in Talon spent without Jesse by his side.
The door opened, and Akande didn’t have to look up to know who was there. He never had to guess, he knew.
Akande watched over Jesse’s head as Gabi and Carmen climbed into the bed. The bed dipped behind him, and he would bet it was Takara and Ayún sitting there, waiting.
Just like he always had when they were children, Akande rolled onto his back and Jesse tucked himself into his side while their kids arranged themselves. The oldest four on either side, then the triplets found their spot on the lower half of the too big bed. Gavril and the twins settled together on Jesse’s side of the bed where more room existed to fit them. Then finally, Mercedes and Jacq crawled across the bed, both fitting themselves on top of Akande’s chest.
His oldest children. The ones that were in no way biologically related to him, the ones he had chosen despite the difficulties Akande knew he would face raising the traumatized children of another man. His children, who he had missed every night enough to nearly run him to ruin. His children who were all so much bigger than they were when they used to sleep like this, who were too big to all pile onto him like they had back then.
It had been so long, but he could never forget this. He knew this better than he knew anything else, and finally the knots in his chest eased and let him rest.