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Leading an organization, as small as it was, stressed Fyodor out too much.
A new problem came up every other day. Ivan getting high on tea. Nikolai pranking Sigma. Sigma attempting to kill him. Fyodor having to break them apart like they were little kids.
On top of that their headquarters consisted of a tiny house, too small for six people. Even if he wanted to, Fyodor couldn’t have his own space, let alone time to recharge his social battery in solitude. There were moments he was so tempted to just drop this whole thing and turn himself in. Or change his identity and flee to another continent. Both would be better than dealing with these idiots.
This is why he thanked the heavens above when he discovered that not too far from their hideout there was an abandoned house. Bigger, taller, but one heavy storm away from collapsing. Shame, otherwise Fyodor would have moved everyone in a heartbeat.
He couldn’t do that, so he settled for hanging out there alone. The place was so peaceful, especially at night. Since they were living in the very outskirts of Yokohama, the pollution was minimal and he had a great view of the night sky. He found himself climbing on the roof every night and getting lost in thoughts. But he never stayed too long.
Not until one night when he was feeling so overwhelmed by everything, and knew he needed longer time alone. Until daybreak, maybe even longer. He retreated to his favourite spot on the roof, laid back and closed his eyes.
Fyodor didn’t know how much time passed. All he knew was at one point he felt foreign presence, which had him awake and alert instantly. When he turned to see who it was, all tension left his body.
Karma.
“What are you doing here?” Fyodor asked, and sat up properly. Karma shrugged.
“You were gone for a while. I came to see if the anemia finally got you and you stumbled off the edge to your death.”
Fyodor cracked a smile at that.
“I haven’t, as you can see. How utterly unfortunate.”
Karma returned a soft smile. He took a step back.
“Well then, if you’re still alive and kicking I'll be taking my leave.”
“No, wait. Stay.”
The ginger’s eyes widened.
“Huh? Really? I thought you want to be alone.”
“Yes. But I’d also appreciate some company.”
Karma hesitated for a second. Fyodor tried to look as open and approachable as possible, and it seemed to work as the boy walked to him and sat down. Fyodor hummed in satisfaction, and turned his attention to the night sky.
“Do you know any constellations?” he asked. Karma shook his head.
“No. I can locate the North Star though.”
“Really? Where is it then?”
Karma looked up, his eyes wandering. And Fyodor was struck with just how beautiful he was. The entire cosmos reflected in his clear gray-blue eyes, and the Russian found himself unable to look away.
“Found it, over there.”
Karma’s voice brought him back to reality. He blinked, and tried to regain his composure.
“Um, yes.” He glanced at where Karma was pointing. “That’s indeed it. Now, if you move your finger like that-” he grasped Karma’s wrist and lowered his arm. “-you’ll be tracing the Ursa Minor, Small Dipper if you will. And over here-” he moved the other’s arm to the side. “-is the Ursa Major.”
“Ah. I-I see.”
There was a weird tremble to Karma’s voice. Fyodor realized with a start he may have overstepped his boundaries, and quickly let go.
“I’m sorry, I should've asked for permission before touching you.”
Karma shook his head.
“No, it’s not that. Just… you were very close.”
Ah. Of course.
Fyodor instantly squashed the disappointment and hurt rising in him. Of course Karma was afraid of him. Of course he didn’t appreciate Fyodor invading his space. He moved a bit away from the other.
“So, constellations. Give me a second, I’ll show you some.”
They sat in silence. The mood had shifted, the casualness gone. Fyodor sighed, and tried to hide his dissatisfaction.
“Hey.”
He glanced at Karma, and found him staring at the moon with a soft smile.
“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”
Fyodor looked up.
“Yeah, it is.”
Silence stretched again. Fyodor couldn’t help but think something had changed again. A few more seconds passed, and Karma sighed.
“Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?”
The Russian blinked, a bit taken aback.
“Uh… I guess?”
Karma pressed his lips together and leaned towards him.
“You’re doing a terrible job at geniusing then.”
Before Fyodor could even comprehend what the hell his companion meant, soft lips covered his own. The kiss lasted only a second, and Karma pulled away. A mischievous glint was present in his gaze.
“Read the room, you anemic rat.”
For the first time in a long time Fyodor was stunned into silence. This wasn’t something featured in his predictions. Hell, he hadn’t even let himself think of the possibility of Karma liking him back.
“Won’t you say anything?”
Fyodor looked Karma straight in the eye. Some uncertainty had creeped into his gaze, and the Russian knew he had to get rid of it. He leaned down, and captured his lips in a swift, yet soft kiss. A smile appeared on his face when he saw Karma’s face turn almost as red as his hair.
“I believe actions speak louder than words, little one. But, satisfied with your answer?”
He received a weak whack to the shoulder.
“Shut up” Karma muttered. Fyodor was tempted to say make me, but decided not to push it. This was new for them both. So instead, he pulled Karma close and rested his chin on his head. The ginger relaxed in his hold, and Fyodor swore this was the best feeling ever. Knowing Karma felt safe and at peace in his embrace.
“We were talking about constellations, right? Can you still show me some?”
Fyodor smiled, a bright, genuine smile.
“Of course.”