Chapter Text
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Prelude -
in a very unusual way one time i needed you
in a very unusual way you were my friend
(Unusual Way, Barbra Streisand - Live in Concert 2006)
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“Niles, we’re friends, right?” C.C. asked, picking up one of the cheese cubes Niles had laid out on the platter he was preparing.
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far,” he replied, noticing that she was eating from his carefully prepared platter.
“Oh stop, it was one bit of cheese,” C.C. said, “but back to my question, we’re basically friends now right?”
“I suppose,” Niles replied, slightly confused, “what’s your point?”
“Would you be willing to help me with something?”
“Help you? With what?”
“Just a little idea I have.”
Niles stopped what he was doing and looked at C.C., “What kind of idea?”
“Now, Niles, promise me, you won’t make fun or crack any jokes,” C.C.’s tone became more serious, she wanted to make sure he wouldn’t ruin this for her. “Okay, what is it?”
“You promise?”
“Yes, fine, I promise.”
“Okay, here it is,” C.C. glanced around the kitchen, making sure no one else was around to hear what she had to say, “I want you to,” she paused, “help me get Nanny Fine.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean I, you know,” she paused, hoping he would pick up the hint. He didn’t say anything, so she figured he didn’t, so she added, “I like Nanny Fine, and I want you to help me impress her,” C.C. spoke slowly so there was no way he would miss it.
“You what!?”
“Niles, quiet, someone will hear!” C.C. said through clenched teeth.
“Sorry, I just, I don’t know what to say, I thought you were determined to spend your life chasing after Mr Sheffield?”
“Oh that, I’ve given him plenty of chances, he doesn’t care about me, why should I continue to waste my time on him?” C.C. replied.
“Ms Babcock, I don’t really know what to say,” Niles began, trying to process this whole thing, “Miss Fine? Really? You want me to help you seduce Miss Fine? That’s what you’re asking?”
“Yes, of course, what did you think I meant? Now will you help me or not?”
“Why can’t you just tell her yourself?”
“Oh come on Niles, a woman like her deserves more, she deserves something lavish and extravagant.”
“You’re really serious about this aren’t you?”
“Niles, please, do this for me.”
“What do I have to do?”
“Give her this,” C.C. handed him a small white envelope addressed to Fran.
“What is it?”
“It’s a note, from her secret admirer,” C.C. said, feeling pretty pleased with herself that she’d come up with such a fool-proof plan.
“Right, so I just give her this and pass notes between you two?”
“Yes, exactly.”
“So what you’re saying is, I’m basically a fax machine,” Niles replied dryly.
C.C. chuckled, “Good one,” she nudged Niles’ elbow, “friend.”
‘What have I gotten myself into?’ Niles thought to himself.