Chapter Text
Pernille was just about to get her computer, to order a ticket for London. She had just gotten off the phone with the assistant coach, and apparently, the Sunday game two weeks later had been called off.
Pernille was sure there had been an explanation as to why it was called off, but she hadn’t really been listening. All that mattered was that she now had a weekend off. Meaning a full weekend, four days, to spent in London with Magda.
Pernille was pulled out of her happy bobble by her phone ringing again. For a second she worried, that the coach was calling her back, saying it was all just a bad prank. But it appeared to be the national team's coach calling.
“Hi, Lars,” Pernille said as she answered.
“Hi, Harder. How are you doing?” Pernille furrowed her brows, it was a little weird for Lars Søndergaard to check in like this. They had returned from national camp just two weeks ago.
“Good. And you?” Pernille still answered.
“Fine” he laughed a little. “Look, I am not calling just to check in.” Pernille gave herself a mental pad on the back. “I am calling because I got word that your game on the 22nd is off. And I don’t know if you know, but we are having a meeting with DBU on the 19th about the final details of the plan for the restructuring of the talent centers.”
Yes, Pernille knew. Not the date of the meeting. But she knew of the meeting. The girls had all been talking about it at the last camp.
“Look, I know you usually spent your free weekends in London” Lars continued. “And all the girls representing the union will be at the meeting, so it is not like you need to be here. I thought I would just offer. I know it is something near and dear to your heart, so it would feel a bit weird not to tell you there is an open invitation for you to participate.”
“Yeah, no, thank you,” Pernille said hesitantly.
“Look, Harder, you don’t need to give me an answer right now. Just, you know, think it over, and give me a call back at the end of the week, okay?”
After a few more formalities, Pernille ended the call. The call had left Pernille with a mixture of emotions. For a few minutes she had been looking forward to spending the weekend with Magda, but the girls from the national team had been talking about this meeting with so much enthusiasm. All the Danish girls knew that realistically this would not solve everything. There were still major problems in women’s football in Denmark, but it looked like a step in the right direction. A major step, no less. And Pernille wanted to be there for it.
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Magda had barely sat down behind the wheel when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw the caller ID.
“Hi P,” she said as she answered the phone over the car's Bluetooth system.
“Am I interrupting?” Pernille asked. Pernille sounded a bit weird to Magda.
“No, no, I was just getting in the car on my way home from practice.”
“Oh, well, I guess I should have texted first.”
“P you can always call, you know that,” Magda said. Deciding to go straight home instead of stopping for milk. Magda had a feeling that this conversation with Pernille wasn’t just a check-in.
“I can just call you back later, or tonight or something,” Pernille said hesitantly.
“P are you okay?” Magda asked worriedly.
“Yeah, of course. It is nothing. Just… yeah no nothing. Don’t worry.” Pernille forced a laugh.
“Pernille Mosegaard Harder!” Magda said sternly. Hoping to cut through this weird tension Pernille was putting out. “Please talk to me.” Magda hadn’t meant to sound so vulnerable, but she was getting really worried.
There was a moment of silence between them.
“I love you. I hope you know that.” Pernille finally said.
This did not help Magda’s worry. “I do. I love you too, P.” trying to keep the quiver out of her voice. “what is going…”
“I have the weekend off.” Pernille interrupted but then went quiet.
“okay…” Magda tried to encourage Pernille to go on.
“Not this weekend, I mean. Next weekend.” Pernille rushed out. “But it doesn’t really matter. Because I don’t know if I can come. I mean I want to, but I think I might want to go to Denmark too. And I can’t do both you know.”
Magda parked in front of her house, disconnecting the call from the car’s speaker as she got out and got her training bag.
“Okay so let me get this straight, you are calling me to tell me, that you cannot come to London next weekend?” Magda said a little confused.
“I am so sorry Mags, I really wanted to see you.” Pernille’s voice broke.
“Hold up P,” Magda said as she unlocked her front door, putting down her back (she would clean it up later), so she could give Pernille her full focus. “You called me three hours before our usual facetime, sounding sad and hesitant. Asked me if I know you love me?”
“Uhm yeah, I guess,” Pernille mumbled.
Magda laughed. Out of relief probably.
“Are you laughing at me?” Pernille asked.
“Yes, P I am,” Magda said laughing harder. “Because you Pernille Mosegaard Harder are impossible.”
Apparently, Magda's laugh was contagious, because Pernille started to laugh along at the other end of the phone.
“You had me worried there for a second,” Magda said when the laugher had died down a bit.
And it was like a coin dropped for Pernille. “Oh shit, no Mags I would never. That’s not… like ever…”
That made Magda laugh again. “P it is okay. I told you; impossible. But I knew what I was getting myself into when we started dating.”
Although Magda couldn’t see it, she could almost feel the warm smile that spread across Pernille’s face.
“I am still sorry though” Pernille sounded more like herself now. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Magda smiled back.
This time, Magda did not mind the moment of silence between them. She broke it anyway. “So, you want to tell me why you cannot come to London, on a weekend I didn’t expect to see you anyway?”
“I said maybe,” Pernille answered back.
“I sorry, what?” Magda asked not understanding.
“I said, maybe I can’t come to London.” Pernille sounded way more like herself now. Almost teasing. “Because I haven’t actually decided if I can come.”
Magda was even more confused now. “Okay, now you have to talk to me.”
For a moment Magda suspected Pernille of deciding between continuing to tease her or explain. Luckily (for Pernille) she chooses the latter.
“Okay, so our game on the 22nd has been canceled, so I have the weekend off.” Pernille started. Under normal this would have Magda jumping with joy, but she had a feeling a “but” was coming. “But…” Pernille continued. “DBU called and invited me to a meeting on the 19th and a potential press conference on the 20th. In Copenhagen.”
“And when you say invited…” Magda tried to encourage Pernille to keep explaining.
“Right,” Pernille said realizing she should explain a bit more. “I mean, extended an open invitation. As in, I don’t have to, but I am welcome to come. And that is really why this is a problem. Because now I have to choose between seeing you and going to Copenhagen.”
“Okay,” Magda said. “You want to tell me what this meeting is about then?”
This was very typical of Magda, wanting to get all the facts. Set up pros and cons and make a logical decision. Pernille was more likely to just make a last-minute decision based on what seemed the easiest.
“The new plans for restructuring the girl’s academies”
Magda nodded to herself. She knew how much this topic meant to Pernille.
“And when would you be done on Friday?” Magda asked. A small hope that Pernille could come for maybe a day or two. That was what they usually settled for anyway.
“Around lunch I guess,” Pernille said. Magda had a feeling another but was coming. “But Louise offered that she and V could meet me in Copenhagen and spent the Saturday,” Pernille answered almost apologetically.
“Okay,” Magda said. She knew how much Pernille’s family meant to her. Especially now that she had a nephew. And although her family came to Germany for home games, Magda also knew it had been a while since Pernille spent more than a quick meal with them.
“Look, all the girls are going to be there, so there is no need for me to go. And I’ll see Louise and V next month. And I don’t know when…” Pernille broke the silence.
“I think you should go.” Magda interrupted.
“What?” Pernille asked.
“To Copenhagen I mean,” Magda said. She did have a bit of mixed emotion about telling Pernille not to come to London. “Look, P I know how much this means to you. The fact that you are even considering missing a weekend together for this.”
“Who said, I am not just looking for an excuse not to eat your disgustingly healthy food?” Pernille said, joking clearly.
“Yeah, right, like you would turn down a proper meal. I know you, Harder.” Magda teased back. “But for real, P. You should be there. This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.”
“Yeah, you're right.” Pernille acknowledged.
“Usually am.” Magda smiled. “And you and I will figure something else out. What about that week in November? I know it is almost two months away. But we have just spent half the summer together”
“Are you getting tired of me Eriksson?” Pernille joked and continued “Sure. I’ll talk to Stephan. But it is such a long time away.” Pernille almost whined the last part, making Magda smile even wider.
“So, you want to tell me why you were so weird about this at the beginning of the conversation,” Magda asked, partly teasing, partly curious as to why Pernille had been acting so unlike herself.
“Uhm no not really,” Pernille tried. “Can’t we just pretend it like did happen?”
“You mean pretend you did have me worried that something was seriously wrong, or you were breaking up with me or something.” Magda tried to tease but still felt a little weird about the start of their conversation.
“WHAT? No Mags. Never.” Pernille exclaimed very seriously.
“P calm down. I know.” Magda said
Pernille drew a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. And I said I was sorry by the way.” Magda could almost hear Pernille biting her lip before she continued. “And I don’t know. It was just weird talking to you about having to choose between seeing you and… well, choosing between you and anything, really.”
That filled Magda with warmth. “Pernille,” Magda said warmly. “It is not really a choice.”
“It is.” Pernille insisted. “I think I just had to realize, that I wasn’t choosing to not spend time with you. That was just the consequence of choosing to go to Copenhagen. And it was a bit weird considering 99% of the time when I have a choice, I choose you! And this time it wasn’t an easy choice. So, I think I was just scared, to tell you that you weren’t my first choice.” Pernille said, before realizing how it sounded. “Oh my God, that is not what I meant M. You are always my first choice, just not… I mean… Please interrupt me.” Pernille groaned.
Magda laughed. “You are something else Pernille Harder,” Magda said fondly. “And we have had this conversation before. When you moved to Wolfsburg. It is okay that we are not each other’s first choice all the time. As long as we are most of the time. And that we talk things through.”
“That does sound vaguely familiar.” Pernille smiled. “I love you Mags.”
“You too, P”.