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“Ah, Miette, what should I do?” Aoki murmurs, as the cat weaves back and forth between his feet. He’d been bringing her treats a couple times a week since halfway through his first year, when he’d noticed her hanging around the edges of the school property. She has a collar, and doesn’t seem too thin, so she must have a home to go to. But she’d seemed lonely watching all the students walk by. After weeks of coaxing, he’d gotten her to come over to him when he’s alone, and he’d decided that he needed to call her something. Calling her after a notoriously finicky meme cat seemed just as good as anything else.
He squats down beside her, and she immediately bumps her head up against his hand. He reflexively scratches behind her ears, and drops a treat on the ground from his other hand.
“At first all I meant to do was help out Hashimoto, you know? It would suck to have someone accidentally find out my crush on her and then be able to just… tell her whenever. I’d want them to keep quiet about it, so I figure that’s the least I can do for her, right? But then this whole thing with Ida…”
“Meh,” Miette meows.
“Yeah, I know, it’s partially my fault. I can’t figure out how to say things right, and then he assumes, because there’s not enough context, that I’m talking about me! Or him. Or. Well, you know what I mean.” He drops another treat, which she pounces on.
“And then he just goes and does all these sweet things I can’t stop thinking about… the way he patted my head to reassure me, and later when he told me I’m kind just because… because… I don’t know why, and I’m not anyways, but he said so. And then defending my love when it isn’t even real!” Aoki sighs. He shouldn’t get so worked up over this, “It’s not supposed to be real.” He pauses and there’s a faint ache behind his eyes and nose that feels like he’s going to cry. He blinks hard and swallows.
“I just wish there was a way to tell him that the one he should be trying to fall in love with isn’t me. They’d be a good match, and she’d be so happy. And then maybe these stupid feelings would go away. Why’d I have to go and catch feelings anyway?! All I wanted was to help her out and I’ve done the one thing that could maybe hurt her worse.”
“Meh,” Miette meows again. Aoki sighs again.
“You’ve got the good life, and you don’t even know it,” he tells Miette, running his hand down her back to her tail, “You’ve got a family nearby who loves you, and whole bunch of students to scam into giving you treats, you don’t have to worry about crushes or… or…”
“Aoki!” Ida calls from across the schoolyard. Aoki jumps and stands too fast, not realizing how close he’d gotten to the hand rail down the middle of the nearby stairs. He hisses and winces, his eyes squeezing shut as a hand flies to the spot on the back of his head that he’d hit. He’ll definitely have a bump in a few minutes.
“Are you okay?” Ida asks, now much closer. Aoki opens his eyes to find Ida crouching right next to him, his hand hovering near Aoki’s head as he cranes his neck to look. Aoki’s heart flutters, and he jerks away.
“I’m fine. Just surprised,” he says. Ida looks like he doesn’t believe him, but lets his hand slowly drift down to his side.
“Meh!” Miette meows. Aoki runs his hand down her back once more, and gives her the last treat.
“Why are you here so late?” Ida asks, standing. Aoki looks up, and then stands himself.
“It’s not that late.”
“Volleyball practice is over.”
“Oh,” Aoki checks his watch. Sure enough, he’d been sitting talking to Miette for over an hour, “I guess it is that late. Just lost track of time, I guess.”
“What were you doing though?” Ida looks confused, and Aoki supposes he can’t blame him.
“Talking to Miette.”
“Miette?”
“Her,” he says, gesturing at the cat, “You know. Like the cat on the internet? ‘You kick Miette’?”
Ida still looks confused, so Aoki drops it.
“I bring her treats sometimes. Just… ‘cause.”
Ida looks down at the cat, who has now started winding herself around his legs too.
“Oh look, she likes you,” Aoki says with a smile, “She doesn’t like many people. Took me like three weeks to even get her to come close to me.” Ida looks up at him and smiles back, before kneeling down beside her to offer a hand. She rubs her face against it several times. Aoki suddenly realizes that he’s wearing a big dumb grin, and shakes his head violently, trying to regain composure. He’s not supposed to like Ida, that was an accident and one that has to stop happening so that Hashimoto can like him.
Suddenly Ida lets out a huge sneeze, one that echoes around the schoolyard. Miette gives him the most offended glare, before running off, probably back home for her dinner. Aoki can’t help giggling.
“Ida… is it possible you’re allergic to cats?” Aoki asks. He’s doing his best to keep his mouth shut, to keep from smiling wide, but he’s not succeeding well. Ida stands and brushes off his hands.
“I don’t know,” Ida says, nonchalantly, “We’ve never had pets.”
“And you’ve never had friends with them?” Aoki asks incredulously. Ida looks up.
“I… well, I guess not. I don’t go over to hang out at friends’ houses that often.”
“Seriously? A cool guy like you?! I would have thought everyone would want to have you over.”
Ida shrugs. “I’m… it’s… I’m not that cool.”
Aoki studies Ida for a moment. Is he blushing?
“You’re cooler, anyway. Making friends with the cat, and all,” Ida protests eventually.
“That’s not cool, that’s weird. I just didn’t want her to be lonely, she looked lonely watching everyone go by every day,” Aoki shrugs and scuffs a foot along the ground.
Ida is silent long enough that Aoki looks up to try and read what he’s thinking.
“That’s really sweet of you,” Ida says finally, a small smile on his face. Aoki’s heart flutters inconveniently, and a part of him wants to keep that small fond smile all to himself. He shakes himself again. He’s here to help Hashimoto out, and that is all, not to catch stupid feelings for someone new.
“Well, I gotta go, I’ll see ya,” he says quickly, rushing to get away, to put enough distance between him that his heart will go back to being sensible and in love with Hashimoto.
“Wait up! We go the same direction,” Ida says, jogging to catch up with him, “Let me walk… I mean, we can walk together.”
Aoki’s traitorous heart leaps at the possibility Ida was offering to walk him home.
“I’ve got, you know, a thing. Tonight. I can’t be near you right- I mean, I can’t go that way, it’s, uhm, this way. So.”
Ida pauses, grabbing Aoki by the elbow to make him stop too.
“Is it hard for you, to be around me?” Ida asks, “Did you not think I was serious about thinking before I gave you my answer? I promise I was. You told me your true feelings, and it’s only fair of me to consider it properly.”
Aoki blinks, barely able to keep eye contact. How is Ida so serious about everything?
“You’re… you’re too kind for your own good, Ida,” he says finally.
“You’re just as kind as I am. Kinder even.”
“If I am kind, it’s only because I’m selfish, trust me.”
“Says the guy who was feeding a cat cause he thought it might be lonely,” Ida insists.
“That’s not kind, that’s just--” Aoki stops speaking, realizing he has no idea how to end that sentence. “And, anyways, usually I’m just being selfish.” After all, he tells himself he’s protecting Hashimoto because it’s the right thing to do, but deep down, he’d started doing it because he’d been afraid that telling Ida would be the end of his own chances. If that’s not selfish, then he doesn’t know what is. “And then usually it comes back to bite me in the butt. I’m not kind. Not really.”
“You are, though. I’d never noticed, somehow.” Ida is staring at him, and Aoki can feel his heart pounding in his ears.
“I told you to stop complimenting me. Anyways, I really have to go,” he says, pulling his elbow out of Ida’s hand, “See you tomorrow.”
Ida lets him go this time, and Aoki is grateful. It’s hard enough being near him without telling him everything.
As he walks, taking the long way around, he sinks deeper and deeper into his thoughts, so deep that he doesn’t notice Hashimoto following a few steps behind him. How on earth will he get out of this hole that he’s dug for himself?