Work Text:
"Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"This eggnog is pretty much 90% Jack Daniels and only 10% nog, isn't it?"
"Yeah, pretty much."
"Why, pray tell?"
"Because, Sam. Sam, Sam, the sunshine man-"
"That is never going to go away, is it?"
"Probably not. However, there is such a disproportionate ratio of booze to nog because you burnt the latkes last week."
"Well, I can tell that you have yet to consume any of your eggnog because you can still pronounce the word 'disproportionate'."
"Bully."
"Well, you knew that about me going into this, now didn't you?"
"That's regardless of the fact."
"You know, this really is very good eggnog."
"Good to know, considering you've got some of the foamy stuff on your nose."
"Great. Why is it I always manage to turn even the most innocuous thing, such as drinking eggnog with my boyfriend, into a situation that best fits someone of Ainsley's stature?"
"Okay, at first I was going to bless you out for bringing up your favorite blonde Republican sex kitten yet again, but then you called me your boyfriend and I got all schmoopy feeling like Donna gets around fuzzy puppies. Or C.J. at a shoe sale."
"Do not knock the power and lure of a good shoe sale, there. How else could someone on a government salary afford Gucci loafers? Also, I still have foam on my nose. Hand me a napkin?"
"I've got a better idea."
"Like what, licking it off my nose?"
"Well, I usually prefer licking other parts of your body, but your nose will do for now."
"Why Mister Lyman, are you trying to seduce me?"
"Like I need to try to seduce you. All I have to do is tell you there's mistletoe tied to the headboard."
"Last one there gets to go return presents with Donna tomorrow."
