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Sui was dying. Kagaho cried as he was holding him in his arms, blood getting all over his hands.
I'm not worth anything. I’m just a burden to you. You are suffering so much because of me. Isn't it better to just die? I hope death is easy. This is what I want so don't be sad. You will finally be free.
Sui was dead. His precious brother ended his own life.
Kagaho was afraid. Every moment of his existence carried such a burden of terror. He feared that he no longer had soul. No longer had purpose and meaning. That there was no salvation for him, he was done.
He feared that he lost the capacity to love and care for another human being or ever to see goddess in one. There was no room for anyone anymore. Not for any human, nor God.
He was all alone now.
Alone.
The Hades has chosen the particular person to possess. His appearance and mind both were beautiful but yet fragile. The golden hair turned black, but his eyes stayed the same ocean color, but there was a hint of darkness in them. Something bewitched and mysterious, but still beautiful. He never had courage to stare into them long enough, as he felt they would discover all his secrets.
The boy loved to draw. Kagaho doesn’t understand art. He doesn’t know what makes art good, and what makes it bad. But he enjoys watching him draw. Creating fine artworks that were not like any others he had seen.
He drew many things, but the one that made Pandora throw the fuss was none than painting of the Athena and her Pegasus saint. It's not a secret that those two were part of his childhood, so he couldn't really blame the boy for painting them. But sometimes he wondered if he still had any feelings towards them. What if deep down the boy still cherished them as he did in the past? Kagaho tried not to think about it.
After some months, the boy changed. He doesn’t draw beautiful landscapes and happy people as he used to. Kagaho has seen his new paintings. They were dark and wicked, and it reminded him of the nightmares. Terrible, yet fine nonetheless. A masterpiece for sure, even if one may find it disturbing. He wondered if those were signs that Hades was consuming his body as whole. It was something that every Hades' servants looked forward to, but all it did for Kagaho was to leave a bittersweet felling.
Kagaho doesn’t understand art, he probably never will, but to him anything created from Alone is majestic.
The sunset came as the sweetest soul-blush, as the most precious gold to be found on Earth. Kagaho could stare at it for the whole day. The world was a dark and cruel place, but one look at the sky would give him peace. Sometimes he would raise his hand high towards the sky as he was trying to pursue something, but he knew that he could never reach it.
"You don’t need to look at the sky because it's not going to open up and show something behind it." He heard a soft voice behind him. He turned around and was met by Alone's smile. It was soft, but there was a hint of sadness in it. He rarely smiled, his face was blank most of the time, sometimes he would smirk, but rarely smile.
"It won’t show some special place." Kagaho said nothing, letting him talk. He loved to listen to him, no matter what kind of things he talked about. "Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going will never be there."
And where you are is no good either . He wanted to add but he couldn’t. What he was saying was already too harsh.
"There is no place to for me to be anywhere, but beside you, Hades-sama."
He had nowhere to go anyway. All his life he thought of himself as purposeless, but not anymore. His duty was now to be with Hades, to protect him and be at his side until death takes him.
Kagaho looked up to the boy, who said nothing as he stared at the sky. With the silence he waited for just one glance from him, but deep down he knew he wouldn't get it.
The younger boy was looking up somewhere else. He would always listen and be there for Kagaho, but Kagaho knew his mind was always somewhere else. Always looking up somewhere, be it in the ground, or far away in the sky. He would just stare and get lost in his thoughts, as if he is waiting for something to happen. Or someone to come.
Being possessed by Hades, he knows what is now the boy’s objective, but at the same time he feels that the younger boy was yearning for something else too.
Something about it made Kagaho’s heart ache but he couldn’t figure it out why.
"Big brother" the boy called for him. Everything was void, he couldn't see anything but only younger boy's presence.
"Sui? Is that you?" Kagaho asked as he walked toward him.
"Forgive me for being a nuisance. You are better of me."
"You were never a nuisance to me!" Kagaho yelled as he started to run towards him.
"It's better like this anyway. After all you have someone else who took my place."
"Sui!?" he yells for his brother's name as he tries to reach his hand. Suddenly everything around burns into dark flames and consumes Sui. The boy screams and everything turns into void once again.
Kagaho awoke from his nightmare with a pounding heart, only to be met by big blue eyes that were staring at him.
"Hades-" he chokes as he tries to breathe. Dreaming the same nightmare that has been following him for the years and now showing his weakness in front of his God. So ashamed of that, Kagaho hoped that the black hope would open up and drag him down.
"Have you had a bad dream?" Alone says as he leans in, resting his hand on Kagaho's cheeks. He stared into his eyes and Kagaho couldn’t do anything but stare back at it.
"It was nothing." Kagaho said as he kept staring into his eyes. He wondered if those bewitched eyes could see all of his memories and secrets.
"If it was nothing then why do you look like you are in pain?" Alone asked, as his hand was still resting on Kagaho's cheeks.
"I’m more worried that my God has seen me in such a unusual moment." He looked around himself. Ah, the painting room. He remembered slowly falling asleep as Alone was painting.
"And forgive me for falling asleep-"
"It doesn’t matter." Alone removes his hand from his cheeks, and Kagaho finds himself yearning for that touch.
"I have seen your dream." Alone says after he took a big breath. He started at the floor, almost as if he was ashamed to look him in the eyes. "Ever since I have become who I am now, I have been having weird dreams."
"It didn’t take me long to realize that those dreams were dreams from the specters." He got up and walked towards the big window, looking up at the sky where stars of heaven bloomed in the velvet black as the grace of the half white moon was showing. "I still can’t figure out some of them, but yours are obvious."
Kagaho felt bad. For his dreams to be seen by none other than his God was truly embarrassing. He wondered if Hades was affected by those dreams too. It truly must be uncomfortable to share someone else's dreams, especially if they were disturbing.
"Forgive me Hades-"
"Forgive you for what?" Hades chuckled as he looked up at him. "It’s not your fault. Well, it’s not like it happens every time I sleep. Sometimes I dream my own dreams, and sometimes I dream nothing."
"You are the first specter that I told that." Alone said as he got close to him. Once again, he touched Kagaho’s face, but this time with both of his hands. "I’m sure that it must be awkward for you, but I feel like I understand you better now, Kagaho."
His cheeks flushed as he felt the warmth of his hands on his face once again. Alone was looking at him with the same sad smile that he always had when he was with him.
"I may not experience what you went through, but I can feel your pain. I can feel your despair and your hatred for this world."
Kagaho wanted to cry, both of the pain and joy. First time in his life he felt like he had something to live for.
Slowly, Alone's face started to get closer. Kagaho did nothing as he stared at closed eyes. And in a moment he felt his lips on him. It was just a kiss, small and soft, but it felt like an endless bliss.
Waves of sensation pulled under him, he felt like was drowning. But his Lord made drowning feel like the loveliest thing. He thought he was going to lose his breath, but it didn’t matter. He doesn’t need it, doesn’t want it, at this moment he only wanted one thing and that was his Hades-sama.