Work Text:
It was a beautiful day for Froguero.
“Ribbit.” He said.
You might think, this single ribbit meant ‘What a beautiful day indeed.’, however, what he truly meant is, ‘This is the worst day of my life my xbox has been stolen by a snail I hate everything why am I still alive’.
On the other side of a lake, a bird sat on a branch.
“Chirp chirp.” He said.
You might think, the bird meant ‘God this branch sucks, worst tree ever, who made this smh 0/10 im gonna write bad review on google’, but in reality, the bird meant ‘Chirp chirp’.
The bird flew near the lake - it was a Kingfisher, who may or not be eating frogs. Birb Bam however, had came here for a completely different reason - for he had heard a rumour, that there was a snail with an Xbox.
Snails sucks, Bam thought, so he proceeded to go along with an ancient Chinese wisdom ‘Go steal that shi’.
The sight that would welcome him at the arrival, however...
“Ribbit ribbit.” ‘Isu you dumb crap of a fish poop why the fuck did you steal my xbox??’
“snail noises” ‘Duuude, chill ouuuut, relaxatiooon, and stop sCREEEAMIN-’
“Chirp chirp.” ‘Good morning Gentlemen, it is a wonderful day, no? It's a pleasure to meet you, shall we continue the conversation with a taste of tea?’
Froguero and Shibisu The Snail looked at Birb Bam, and then at themselves.
“snail noises” ‘You know this dude??’
“Ribbit.” ‘bro no, I thought it was your lad??’
However, what they didn't know, is that their language wasn't the one a bird could understand, and neither Birb Bam was aware of that, hence, he was confident he heard:
‘Whom is, this very handsome gentleman over here?’
‘I do not know, yet I am sure we should take the invitation.’
Hence naturally, he happily replied ‘What a joy to hear kind words it! Shall we add cinnamon to tea as well?’
Froguero turned to Isusnail.
“Ribbit.” ‘this piss crap is making fun of us.’
“snail noises” ‘Nah, I think he's just tryna be polite’
“Ribbit ribbit.” ‘binch, his species literally eats frogs, I'mma give this lil freakin scrub piece of my mind, bet he's a runner on pvp, prolly got that s++ while playin on lags smh loser. wish me good luck, might die but whatever’
“emotional snail noises”
Froguero hopped up to Bambirb, and looked up to him.
“Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit ribbit? Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit, *shakes head*, ribbit. Ribbit ribbit?? Ribbit ribbit ribbit???? Ribbit ribbit ribbit!??”
And as much as a narrator I assure you, he meant nothing but insults, Bambirb once again was confident he heard,
‘A wonderful proposition, my friend, I'd love to spend an evening with a cinnamon tea and lovely gentleman.’
And once again, Bambirb happily chirped ‘Excellent choice, my small fellow, nothing but an aroma of a delicious tea on a sunny day. I have a set ready on the nearest hill for the occasions like this! Shall we go?’
Froguero turned to Isusnail, ‘bro this dude is mental’
“snail noises” ‘Yeah but like free tea is cool tho, I'd go, I'm totally not trying to distract just to run away with your xbox’
‘you what-’ Froguero could not finish, as he was being lifted by a beak.
‘I shall take us both to the hill now! If you're afraid of heights, you may jump off now, little gentleman!’
At this, Froguero had to think, ‘this mf doesn't consider eating me?? might as well go and see how it goes’.
And in the meantime, happy snail noises resonated, 'Haha now time to run with the speed of light, 2cm per hour, baby!!'
Soon, Birbam and Froguero were on a beautiful hill with a view on the lake. The porceline set was prepared with an utter care and high class.
Birbam chirped ‘A lovely smell’ and hit inside of the goddamn teacup with a beak, almost breaking the cup.
Froguero liked the smell as well, and proceeded to hit surface of tea with his tongue several times.
“Ribbit, ribbit.” ‘lol I bet u be stealin em tea cups from fish, u birbs suck.’
Birbam who heard wrong as per usual, replied “Chirp chirp.” ‘Yes, I too, agree the colonization of Fish Kingdom wasn't appropriate. ’
“Ribbit ribbit,” ‘Damn bro, at least u admit it’
A time passed, tea was almost finished. They spent time conversing about Fish politics, with a more or less misguided replies.
As the meeting was coming to an end, Froguero thought, ‘This was the most random convo I had lol. However he put up with each dumb shi I said, so I guess this counts for smth...’.
Reluctantly, as they were going back and preparing to seperate ways - Froguero has brought a certain something and proceeded to write on the ground, as he was too embarrassed to speak.
Unlike their spoken language, Bambirb could read it no problem, hence without realizing it was the first time he actually understood the sentence from his companion, he read: ‘Tis my most treasured possession. Old dead fly. His name is Barry and was pogchamp in paladins, but a sucker in hearthstone. honestly he was annyoing overral even with that fuckin 100k dmg as a goddamn healer so u can have him’
Bambirb chirped the gasp, and proceeded to accept the gift.
As he was going back, his master birb, Jinbirb, has chirped ‘Hey you do know we eat frogs, right?’
‘We eat WHAT?’
CHAOS ENSUES. WILL BIRBAM AND FROGUERO DEFEAT THE NATURAL FOOD CHAIN?
“Chirp chirp...” ‘So I think... My species kind of eats frogs and stuff...’
‘YOU JUST LEARNT?!’
WILL THEY FINALLY COMMUNICATE PROPERLY?
“Ribbit-chirp.” ‘and despite the fact it wasn't like you were actually tolerating my bullshit since you hadn't understood shi - u still didn't see my as food, neither then, nor when you learnt the truth.’
WILL THE SNAIL ISU GIVE FROGUERO BACK THE FUCKING XBOX???
‘lol no’
CHECK IN THE NEXT EPISODE ON DISNEY CHA- *gets shot*
.
.
.
Birbam:
Birbam: I FORGOT TO STEAL THE XBOX,