Chapter Text
When Fury called you, he made mention that he would need you on a mission. It was a fact that when you were needed on a mission, it would be something very extreme. Extreme because your actions were extreme. It was killing or being killed. Fury called you Project Armageddon. You never joined the Shield, or Avengers, or X-men, or whatever team somebody tried to put you on. That was because you, like Wade, were better off working alone. You felt better alone.
Your biggest surprise was Fury putting you on a mission with Clint and Natasha. And also your biggest problem. Clint was there to give orders. Natasha was there to obey them. And you were you.
Fury knew your terms, knew your deal, and knew your problem with taking orders...even more so from Clint. The risk on that 'team' was all Fury's.
Your problem with Clint, came even before Shield. He was a vigilante, and you were always a mercenary. He prevented you from completing a job, costing you $400,000. He never paid you, and never made any mention of paying you. He looked at you in a judgmental way, but you did the same.
Your status with Natasha was delicate. You met in Monaco. While she was babysitting for Tony Stark. You were in town on a murder assignment. You had completed the job, but preferred to stay in town for a few days for the race.
Natasha was Natalie. You were Ash. False names, false stories. But an intense night. She was tireless and so were you.
After that day you bumped into each other in New York. She was Natasha, and you were Y/N. Real names, hidden histories. She didn't want anything serious, and neither did you. Just casual nights out to vent your frustrations.
In reality, deep down, you thought about her. In the few moments, away from your things, you thought about how beautiful she was smiling and in casual clothes. How soft her skin was, and how her hand seemed made for her. And those lips, shit, you could kiss them for hours.
But you couldn't think about those things. You couldn't. You were from different worlds. She was a former assassin, now a hero. You were still just a mercenary, killing for money.
"This is the 6th time already, I quit." Clint said shouting, getting your attention.
You blinked a few times, until you came to your senses. Clint was standing, his face red with anger. Natasha stood beside him, her hand on his shoulder. He was looking at you angrily.
"Uh... excuse me?" You replied, straightening yourself in your chair, grabbing the files in hand. "I know this guy. I know where he hides. I know how to kill him."
"Capture." Natasha and Clint said together.
“Okay, 'capture'." You said, signaling with your finger.
"No joke, just do what I'm telling you." Clint shouted, slamming the table.
"Oh crap, Clint, it's not like you don't know why I'm here. Because Fury called me here for this." You said, rolling your eyes and getting up. "If I was going to capture him, he'd just send you two." You squared your shoulders and let out a dramatic sigh. "If you're in doubt, I think you'd better call your boss."
You walked back to your room. You had a mission, and you were going to accomplish it.
☸-☸-☸
Some things from that day were like a blur to you, but you began to rack your brain for memories. One thing you had no idea was how you were in the Medbay of the Avengers compound. It was as if everything was gone.
You remembered screaming that it was a trap. You remembered getting Clint and Natasha out of the place. You remembered the fire. You remembered the blood coming from you. You remembered tying the man to a rope and watching Clint pull him out with the quinjet. You remembered running through the fire until you jumped out the window. You remembered that, luckily, past the window was a river.
You didn't have any medicine on you. You just lay there on a medical stretcher.
You looked around, confused, and saw that there was a chair nearby, like someone was beside you. But now it was empty. You sat up, without difficulty, thanking your regeneration power for its speed.
Soon you realized that you were still in your costume. There were many marks. Shot. Ripped. Marks from fire. There was blood that you knew was yours.
"Yeah, you're pretty annoying yourself, even death didn't want you." You heard Natasha's voice, looked toward her, and saw her standing in the doorway. "How are you feeling?"
"Unfortunately alive." You replied with the same irony as Natasha. "Are you and the parrot okay?"
Natasha let out a laugh, moved closer, stood beside you. She assessed your body through the holes in your costume. You were healed. She took a relieved breath and sat down on your side.
"I'm fine." She said at last. "Thank you for sparing the man, the others are interrogating him."
You said nothing, remained silent, staring at the glass wall of the Medbay. You could see shield agents walking back and forth.
"That was risky, what you did." Natasha said, breaking the silence.
"I like life on the edge." You said, getting up from the stretcher.
"You want to die." Natasha said whispering.
"I want to, but I can't." You spoke, running your hands through the holes in your suit.
"You make too much money, and you don't fix this costume. You need to buy a better one." She stood up and walked to the door. "Come, I'll show you where I put your things."
You followed Natasha, down the hallways, until you saw Clint turning down the hall, walking toward you.
"You." He shouted, pointing at you. "You almost killed us on that mission."
Natasha stepped in front of you, running into Clint, pushing him away. You stood there for a moment watching the man.
"Man, I saved you." You said, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes. "Fucking ingratitude."
Clint pushed Natasha aside, who staggered a little. You stressed and approached the man.
"Ingratitude? Really?" Clint was millimeters away from you. "You have put us at risk, simply because you don't know how to take orders."
You laughed sarcastically at the man, moving closer, pushing him with your body. Natasha stepped in front of you and pushed you back.
"I don't take orders from you, parrot." You replied with a laugh.
Clint came at you. You quickly pushed Natasha out of his way, without hurting her. The man was about to punch you, but you deflected, causing him to hit the wall. He quickly pulled himself together, turning to hit you again. You dodged, causing him to stumble and fall face first onto the floor.
"I'm not going to waste my time with you." You said walking away.
☸-☸-☸
Natasha followed you, she was a little nervous. She didn't like people attacking you... Clint. She wanted to take some shit from you, she wanted to fight and scream in your face.
"Why don't you respect Clint?" Natasha spoke up, getting your attention. "Do you have problems?" You had stopped walking, but you didn't even dare look at Natasha. "Is this what you plan? To be a mercenary forever?" No reaction from you. "To live off dirty money?"
You turned to the woman, looked around, noticing a few stares, you approached the woman, took her arm and pulled her into one of the rooms in that hallway. You closed the door behind you and locked it.
"You don't know me, Natasha, just because we've had a few nights together doesn't mean you know who I am." You said with an angry tone, inches away from Natasha.
"You are a mercenary who lives off dirty money." Natasha said, looking you in the eye and answering you with the same tone of voice.
"I live off dirty money?" you let go of Natasha's arm and walked away. "All the money I get, if the person has children, I give the money to them." You opened your suit at the top, going down to your waist. "I only take the money from those who make no difference, alive or dead in society." You turned to Natasha again. "I keep just enough money to survive Natasha, I don't splash money around like Wade or his friends. Why do you think my outfit is the worst of all?" You turned away from Natasha and walked to the door. "If you want my financial statement, I'll show you."
"Then why do you insist on being a mercenary?" Natasha said, causing you to turn to her. "Doesn't it bother you?"
You looked at her for a few moments and then turned your gaze to a spot on the wall. This conversation you had had before, but with a person who was no longer there. Your heart heaved a little at the memories.
"I don't know how to be a hero like you." You said. "I was born to be a monster."
"You can be more than that." You heard Natasha's footsteps, "I'm a monster too."
"We are different Natasha, you had no choice, I did." You turned to her, realizing how close you were, you involuntarily put a hand on Natasha's waist.
"You still have a choice." Natasha whispered, looking into your eyes.
It was all a matter of seconds. You were kissing her. Your body was screaming for Natasha, from the moment you saw her, and no matter how hard you tried it was inevitable. You were like magnets that attracted each other. Little did you know that Natasha felt the same way. She fought against every feeling that brought you to her. Yet every part of her body was screaming for you.
One of your hands was on the back of her neck, while the other was on her waist. Natasha responded to the kiss, but her hands seemed lost on you, she didn't know how to touch you, she just pulled you close.
“I want to confess that I am already sure that your memory lives inside my skin. I have a heart that is losing its mind, because it has realized that it has fallen at your feet. I look for some excuse to be by your side, if I get it right, it may seem accidental. Finally I'll use all the courage I've saved. To confess to you what I could never speak.
I've never come close to learning to forget you, to be honest, I never wanted to try, I live with the curse of seeing you everywhere yet at the end of the day I need to see you more
I want to talk but I don't want to risk losing you and you wanting to go. Because whenever I look at you I never quite know what to say.
Remember me if your heart is looking for an owner. Or if you want a kiss in a dream. Or if you want more nights that don't make you want to sleep. Remember me, that to me you always go first. I'm discreet, but I still love you. I'm sorry if I didn't know how to tell you how I feel about you.
Remember me, when someone forgets you. I remembered you, whenever I was in love. Remember me, that I was a soldier for you. Remembered you, in all your past wars. If you're not there, love, where do I stand?
Remember me“