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I want to go home, I thought to myself for the millionth time this week. The amount of tears making their own salty tracks down my face made it hard to see my own reflection. The mirror of the gas station bathroom made it hard to see much of my reflection at all, anyways. I stared, my eyes boring into my body hoping that I would magically disappear and the daughter my parents wanted would be there instead. One that didn’t look and feel like this. I ran my hands violently through my pixie-cut hair and pulled as if it would grow longer. My mom had always hated it as I cut it shorter and shorter, I knew it too. That was one of the things I was willing to push, though, because I thought that her love was unconditional. That was a famous line from my childhood. My mother would hold me in her arms, telling me she loved me no matter what. I knew the moment she saw my flag in my closet though, that those had just been words. As a teenager I thought I was so smart, hiding the little details. I never complained when she made the “girls only” rule for my sleepovers, when I made jokes about loving my closet when I painted my room the green color I had loved so much. I prided myself on the fact that I could go anywhere I wanted, and she wouldn’t question it. But now the only place I wanted to go was my home, and I couldn’t. I let out a sob, a horrible sound as I choked on my own grief and sadness, but I gathered my bag off the floor of the gross bathroom and walked out anyway. I paid for a shitty looking plastic-wrapped sandwich before leaving and walking along the roadside again. I walked even as the sun fell below the trees, even as the stars started to expose themselves. When I finally got where I wanted to go, my eyes were puffy and I could feel how red they were. I climbed the few stairs to the doorway of her house, and I knocked on the persons door. I hoped that her aunt was working the night shift like usual, and wasn’t coming to answer the door right now. I didn’t even know what time it was, but it felt late. After what felt like forever, my groggy girlfriend answered the door, looking adorable in her flannel pj pants and old t-shirt. All the emotion came straight back to my mind and I felt more tears blooming in the corners of my eyes. She didn’t say anything, but her weary-tired look met my eyes and she stepped out of the doorway to pull me into a hug. The comfort in her warm embrace would have to be my home now, until I could pick up the pieces of the one I had just left for good.