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You were always so kind and gentle with Dazai, and it scares him.
He was sure that you held romantic feelings for him. Of that, he has no doubt. The way you acted around him gave it away.
It’s amusing teasing and flirting with you here and there, watching your adorable face turn red so quickly. He loved seeing you suppress a smile whenever he did something genuinely nice for once, or when you try to make excuses just to interact with him more often.
It honestly felt so great to be loved by you, yet that’s precisely what scared him.
He was unsure if he could let himself fall for you - maybe he already has - because he was afraid that the day would come that he would be the source of your tears instead. If he pursued a relationship with you, how long would it last? Dazai knew his bad habits would not go away so easily. The last thing he wanted was for the light from your eyes to disappear whenever you see him; it would be too much for him to handle.
Until now he’s only kept you at arms length far enough to be still somewhat distant from you but close enough to feel your warmth.
But he’d be lying if he said that he was content with that. Although he wants to push you away, the desire to pull you into his arms was even greater. He wanted to give you all the love you deserved.
This was made even clearer when he saw a can with a note on his desk.
You’ve been a bit down lately, so here’s some crab for you :)
P.S. I wish I got you the real thing instead, but canned crab is all I could afford
- Y/N
There’s that fuzzy feeling in his chest. He smiled unconsciously, unable to hide his glee. It’s a good thing no one was around to see it.
That is, until you suddenly returned from your mission. Your eyes grew wide and a shade of pink flushed your face when your gaze fell onto the present in your coworker’s hands.
“I-I hope you like it,“ you said shyly.
“Mhmm. Now, how’s your case going?”
Your mood suddenly shifted into an exasperated one. You ranted on about the case as you placed your things down on your own desk. Honestly, none of your words really entered his head. Everything became a blur and Dazai walked slowly yet mechanically toward you.
“I swear this client-“
You nearly stopped breathing when bandaged arms suddenly wrapped around your waist from behind.
“D-Dazai-san…?”
He placed his head on the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. Only now did he realize how much he’s been craving this. You tried to turn to face him but his grip only tightened.
Don’t look at me, he pleaded internally. The emotions he’s had concealed for so long suddenly gushed out into this one embrace. He nearly trembled at how overwhelming they were.
It’s dangerous, he knew, that this yearning for you would only get even stronger from this point on. But the way that you melted into his touch made his resolve to keep you away soften.
Maybe he could finally give in and allow himself to love you.
“Thank you,”
It was all he could say. His loudly beating heart was screaming at him to say more, but the words died at his throat. He just couldn’t find the ones that perfectly match everything he was feeling.
Maybe he hasn’t found them yet, but now he knows he’d have to properly say them to you once he does.