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Series:
Part 3 of Going Beyond
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Published:
2021-10-22
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5,293
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1/1
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My Rescue

Summary:

McCoy hated himself for how easily he forgave Jim.

Notes:

Spoilers: General AOS, Star Trek Beyond

Disclaimer: The Star Trek franchise and its characters are property of Paramount.

Author’s Notes: Well, I guess I still wasn’t as done with Beyond as I thought. I promise I’m still here, it’s a time thing with being back at a real office. As always, although I am a doctor I’m not that kind so I happily practice with my fictional degree.

Warnings: Slight McKirk

I apologize for any mistakes, this was un-beta’d

Work Text:

###

“Dammit, Jim!” McCoy cursed from the floor of his new office at Yorktown’s medical facility.

He glared at the dusty sofa that had been deposited right in front of the doorway.  He’d had his nose buried in a data pad when he’d walked into his office and had been unaware that Jim sent him a surprise.  

His comm chirped.

“What?” McCoy flipped the device open.

Hey, Bones!” Jim was way too chipper on the other end.

“Let me guess, you’re back?”

“Actually yeah, how’d you know?  I’m still at the dock.”

“Well I’m currently on my office floor staring at the couch I just tripped over.”

McCoy would never admit he found Jim’s rueful sigh satisfying.

“I swear I told the transporter tech to put it in a corner.”

“Well they did; it's in the corner by the door,” McCoy finally pushed to his feet.  

“I can get it sent somewhere else.”

“It’s fine, Jim.  Just wasn’t paying attention when I walked in,” McCoy used his hip to shove the couch to the other wall.

“Okay, they should be beaming out everyone’s personal effects over the next couple of hours.”

“Was a lot recovered?”

“In a manner of speaking.  I’ll drop by with lunch and can fill you in.  What time is good?”

McCoy checked his calendar application, “Okay, I’m headed back to surgery in a few minutes but I should be done by 1300.”

“Later, Bones.”

Jim hung up and McCoy stared at the device in his hands.  Did that mean they were back to normal?  McCoy wasn’t sure that all was forgiven even if Jim had given him plenty of time to cool off.  He shook the thoughts away; he needed to focus for his next case.  His comm beeped again with a notice the OR was ready for him.

###

McCoy kept his head up when he entered his office even though the couch had been moved out of the way.  With his luck Jim had beamed a bunch of crates to his office.  The doorway was shockingly clear.  He had to swallow the smirk that automatically formed when he saw Jim sound asleep on the couch.  He checked the time display on his data pad; he wasn’t even that late.  A bag of take out and tray of coffees sat on his desk.  The doctor stepped in and let the door slide shut.  He debated about finding a tricorder to see if Jim was okay, but decided against it.  He still hadn’t decided if he was over being mad at the man.

“Jim?” McCoy dropped into his desk chair.

The lump on the couch jerked awake, “Shit, Bones.  I didn’t mean to fall asleep.  Damn couch is too squishy.”

“And that’s why it had to be saved.  Were you waiting long?”

“I don’t think so,” Jim moved to the bag and pulled out their lunches.

McCoy eyed the man critically, Jim did look tired.  No doubt the visit to the destroyed ship had stirred up all kinds of crap under those dirty blond locks.

“I’m taking this back if you whip out a tricorder,” Jim pulled a coffee out of the tray for McCoy.

McCoy took a whiff of the rich aroma and knew Jim was trying really hard to make up for how they parted ways.  He really should have cut the kid a break, but it was nice that Jim had finally noticed the people left in the wake of his life.

“Thanks, kid,” McCoy opened the tray’s lid.

“Yeah this was easier than doing it all by comm and honestly I was hungry.  The replicators on that salvage ship weren’t quite what we had on our ship,” Jim took his own box and coffee to the couch.

McCoy caught sight of a suppressed grimace when Jim pulled his arms out of the station issued jumpsuit before sitting down with his lunch.m

“So how was it?” McCoy bit into his sandwich and tried not to be his usual mother hen self.

“Honestly it sucked big time,” Jim pulled a tomato slice from his sandwich.

McCoy waited to see if Jim needed further prodding to elaborate.

“Recovering the bodies was the worst part.”

The food in McCoy’s mouth went dry.  He’d completely forgotten that crew members had been entombed in the wreckage.

“They’ve been sent—“

Jim blew out a breath, “Yeah, to the Fleet mortuary services here.”

“I’ll see to it, Jim.”

Jim looked down as he tried to find the will to take a bite from his sandwich, “We spent the first two days recovering them.  I spent the third day cross checking our list with the MIA list.”

Tension released itself from McCoy’s shoulders when Jim finally took a bite and began to chew.  He watched Jim take another bite before turning back to his own lunch.

“And the rest of the time?”

Whatever dark thoughts that had bubbled up were repressed again and the recounting of the rest of the salvage operation flowed easily from the captain.  

“I’m sorry but sickbay was mostly trashed.  A lot of the stuff I saw coming out were small things.  I know they tried to get as much of your work from the lab as they could.”

“Please tell me none of the sample cases from my virology projects broke?”

“I guess not?”

“Was the crew wearing PPE?”

“Bones, honestly I was only there long enough to go through your office,” Jim shimmied on the couch he’d found for emphasis.  “I put your diplomas and holos in the tote from your quarters.  They should’ve sent it to your apartment here.”

“Thanks, Jim.”

Jim nodded and polished off his sandwich.

“How were everyone’s quarters?”

“Most of Scotty’s stash was saved.  I’m pretty sure I pulled out a dozen bottles of Chateau Picard from his bed frame.”

McCoy laughed, “So how many bottles did you tell him you found?”

“Ten?” Jim gave a tired smile.  “Some of Spock’s things from Vulcan were broken, but I tried to gather all the pieces so he can try and repair them.”

“That…”

“Sucks.  Yeah.  His plants seemed okay.  I got them repotted.”

McCoy felt the coffee burn on its way down, “Your stuff?”

“A couple of knick-knacks didn’t make it.  My books were salvageable.”

“We’ll that’s some good news.”

Jim owned a small fortune in books on real paper.  McCoy had even gifted him a few of them himself.

“Everyone’s clothes survived.  They need some time in the refresher, but as long as the section didn’t decompress or catch fire they were fine.”

“Small mercies I guess?” McCoy toyed with a piece of fruit from his lunch.

“Yeah.  What have you been up to?” Jim leaned back into the plush cushion.

McCoy thought about the past couple of weeks on the station.  It hadn’t been so bad; his work hours at the hospital were much better.  He went in every day at the same time, did a few surgeries, rounded, consulted in the ER if he was needed, and left every evening to cook dinner.  If he was being honest, it didn’t quite give him the satisfaction he’d hoped for. 

“Not a whole lot.  I’m officially TAD here at the hospital.”

Jim knew that having been the one to approve the temporary assignment for the shipless CMO.

“You look well rested for once,” Jim commented over the rim of his coffee cup.

Jim was right.  McCoy felt almost too well rested.  No one had woken him in the middle of the night with some new way outer space had found to harm a person.  No ‘never before seen’ diseases threatened his crew.  The only part he did like was that Jim hadn’t come back to him in pieces while spilling blood all over his boots.  

“That’s for sure.  It's been nice, I haven’t had any masochistic captains bleeding all over my sickbay for once.”

“Do you like it here?”

McCoy tried not to read into what Jim fished for.  He could let the man simmer a little while longer, “It’s only been a couple of weeks.  We’re all still trying to adjust after the shit show on Altamid.”

Jim nodded but tried to gauge his former CMO’s thoughts.  He wondered if there was a real risk for being sent out into the black without his best friend.  A heavy stone formed in the pit of his stomach.  He understood why McCoy had been so angry over his vice admiral application with such clarity that it was almost blinding.  

McCoy would never admit to Jim that he missed the excitement from hurtling through the galaxy faster than light.  It would serve the captain right to get a small taste of what he’d felt learning Jim wanted to leave.  He gathered up the trash from his lunch and walked around his desk to gather Jim’s.

“I can do that,” Jim jumped to his feet to take care of his trash.

“It’s alright, kid,” McCoy clapped Jim on the arm out of habit.

The sense of mother henning he’d been trying to damp down was immediately overridden at Jim’s hiss of pain.

“Jim?” McCoy quickly tossed the trash down the chute.

“I’m fine, Bones.  Just a little sore from all the lifting.  Some of you guys had some heavy shit in your quarters.”

McCoy tried hard not to roll his eyes, “Well shirt off, Doctor Kirk.”

“Bones, it’s nothing.”

“Either you take the shirt off or I take the shirt off for you.”

Jim really wasn’t in the mood, but one look at the doctor and whatever anger he still had was sidelined.  The captain huffed but slowly extricated himself from his base layer.  The surgeon’s hands were warm when they grasped the shoulder.

“This hurt?” McCoy took Jim’s elbow and put the shoulder through a wide range of motions.  

“No—“

“Don’t lie to me,” McCoy prodded the joint at a particularly tender spot.

“Only when you dig into it.”

McCoy looked at his desk and didn’t see what he needed, “Put your shirt back on and come with me.”

“What for?” 

“I need a scanner.”

“Bones, can’t this wait?”

“And how long has it been hurting?” McCoy had Jim by his good bicep once he finished pulling down his shirt hem.

“I don’t know, a couple days?” Jim was pulled through the hospital’s maze to an empty patient room.

McCoy gave him one look.

“A week?”

“I’m guessing you didn’t have anyone from sickbay take a look?” McCoy pushed Jim onto the biobed.  “Lay back.”

Jim debated running but knew it’d be far worse once caught, “No.  Like I told you, it’s just sore.”

The green light from above the biobed swept away Jim’s secrets whether he wanted them to or not.

“Congratulations, Captain Obvious.  You’ve re-torn some of the ligaments that were repaired.  I’m sure your PT didn’t put crawling through the ship and lifting crates in part of your rehab plan,” McCoy studied the display screen.

Jim pushed to his feet to read over McCoy’s shoulder, “Let me guess?”

McCoy had his calendar opened on top of the image of Jim’s shoulder, “What are you doing tomorrow morning?”

“Fuck.”

“It’s a simple procedure.  I can be in and out in an hour, two tops.”

The last thing Jim wanted was surgery.  McCoy already had an admitting form open and was populating it with Jim’s information.

“Now wait a second, we’re not on the ship so there’s no reason to rush into this.”

McCoy’s hand twitched over the displayed keyboard; Jim had him there.  He may have been a bit over reactive.   He hated how Jim’s injury scratched that itch he felt to be needed like he had been on the ship.  

“I’m not saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’.  I want a discussion about this first before you go slicing into me.”

“Fine, Jim,” McCoy brought up the scans of Jim’s shoulder on the screen. 

Jim didn’t need to have a MD behind his name to see one of the ligaments that hung on by a single thread, but he was going to slow McCoy down.  His former CMO explained everything patiently and calmly.  It was either two months in an immobilizer with stim therapy or the surgery and light duty for a couple of weeks.  

“Fuck,” Jim hated how McCoy was always right.

“So that’s a—?”

“I wish I didn’t know you,” Jim pulled the admitting form back into view.

McCoy knew that was about as much permission as he was going to get and quickly finished the electronic paperwork.  Jim pressed his thumb to the screen unenthusiastically. 

“Let me take a quick blood sample and then you’re free to go.  Just report back to the outpatient center at 0630.”

“That early?” Jim whined.

McCoy readied a blood collection device, “Yeah, no eating or drinking tonight after 0000.”

“I’m sorry I fucked up,” Jim looked into McCoy’s hazel eyes.

“It’s okay, kid.  I’m always here to fix it.”

###

“Ready?”

Jim nearly dropped his data pad with McCoy’s sudden presence at the foot of his biobed.  The thought of another surgery already had in him a foul mood but then he’d been left to stew in nothing but a patient gown while he waited for his turn.

“Sorry, Jim.  The case in front of you ran long.”

“I figured, doctors are never on time,” Jim’s joke fell short.

“You wanna walk or ride?” McCoy’s head tilted towards a hoverchair outside the door.

“I have a choice?” Jim’s words had a bit more of a sting to them than what he meant.

McCoy tried not to take it personally as he toed Jim’s slippers closer.  Jim slid off the biobed and shoved the slippers onto his feet.  McCoy helped get the sleeve of a robe over the injured arm before stepping away to let Jim finish.

The walk through the clinic floor was silent.  

“You okay, kid?” McCoy stopped outside the OR door.

“Yeah, just ready to be done with all this.”

“I’ll take care of you.”

“I know, you always do,” Jim went through the door first.

McCoy left to get ready once he saw Jim in the capable hands of the surgical team.  The doctor watched as Jim was helped out of his robe and ushered to lay on the table from the one way window as he traded his whites for scrubs.  A nurse was ready with a gown and mask after he sterilized his hands.

“I guess this still ended with a captain bleeding all over your sickbay?” Jim prompted when McCoy stepped up to the table.

“You better not,” McCoy pointed to Jim’s exposed shoulder with a gloved finger.  “If you try to pull any shit and this is anything but textbook I’m going to wake you up mid procedure to strangle you myself.”

The team clearly wasn’t used to the surgeon’s personality but it had its intended effect at putting Jim at ease.  McCoy nodded and a hypospray was pressed to Jim’s carotid.  

“Be there when you wake up, darlin’,” McCoy stayed in Jim’s line of sight until his eyelids fluttered shut.  

An IV was quickly started and the surgeon took one last stretch before asking for a laser scalpel.

###

“I need to see some blue.”

Jim’s response was garbled.

“Again, but in standard.”

“I hate you,” Jim swallowed hard.

“Open your eyes and tell me to my face,” McCoy’s eyes darted between the vitals display and Jim’s furrowed brow.

Jim groaned but his eyes made it open enough to see McCoy leaning over him.

“How do you feel?”

“Like I still hate you,” Jim flexed his hand in the immobilizer.

“Yeah yeah,” McCoy helped himself to peeling back the gown’s flap from Jim’s shoulder.  “Anything hurtin’? Nauseous?”

Jim eyed the line of dermal regenerators clicking away over the incision, “Still hurts.  Are you sure you fixed it?”

“No, I left it the way I found it.  Of course I fixed it.  I swear one of them was hangin’ on by a single fiber.”

Jim felt a familiar warm flush in the arm with the IV in it.

“Hmmm,” Jim’s stomach felt wobbly all of a sudden.  

“You alright, Jim?” McCoy looked at the man who’d gone pale.

McCoy knew that look and quickly pulled the mostly upright captain the rest of the way up in time for his stomach to revolt.  The doctor had Jim pointed away from his immobilized arm but that meant his shoes were in the line of fire.

“Sorry, Bones,” Jim spat a strand of bile.

“Can I get some help over here?” McCoy rubbed the back of Jim’s neck as he continued to dry heave, “I expected nothing less, kid.”

“Think m’done,” Jim spit one last time before McCoy settled him back into the gurney’s padding. 

The doctor really did hate seeing Jim miserable.  A recovery nurse finally showed and helped get the poor kid into a clean gown and change the soiled sheets.  She flitted away quickly to fill McCoy’s new med orders for Jim’s nausea.

“Alright, Jim, I need to go change my shoes before my next case but I’ll come back to see you to discharge you.  Have the nurses comm me if you need anything.”

Jim had already begun to doze back off, “It’s fine.”

McCoy set a hand on Jim’s knee, “Try and behave for the nurses.”

“No promises.”

###

A floral scent wafting under his nose was what Jim noticed first as his brain began to cycle him back towards consciousness.  He heard a chair cushion compress; whoever was near him definitely wasn’t McCoy.

“You’re such a mouth breather.”

Jim’s eyes snapped open to see his comms officer glaring at him through the transparent aluminum of a data pad.  

“Yeah, I got babysitting duty.”

Jim brought up his IV encumbered arm to wipe the sleep from his face.  He’d half expected McCoy to be at his side.  Truthfully he was even a little disappointed when the doctor didn’t rush to his side.

“Where’s Bones?” Jim noticed the dermal regenerators were gone from his shoulder.

“Still working.  He’s on shift until 1700 so I get to take you back if you're done puking for the day.”

“Careful now, I’m sure I can find more where that came from.”

“You puke on me, Captain , and you’ll regret it until the very end of our mission.”

Jim shuddered, Uhura was probably serious and would absolutely make good on her threat.  He swallowed several times to make sure there was no risk of finding out what she would do to him.

“Leonard is the only one that puts up with you puking all over them.”

Jim waved a hand in her general direction.

Uhura’s voice softened, “Thank you for bringing our stuff back.”

All dregs of sleep were instantly shaken off.

“Spock would never admit this, but I’m pretty sure he cried a bit when he unpacked his box.”

“It’s nothing—“

Jim felt a warm hand on his arm, “Still, thank you.”

“I’ll try not to break the ship and all your stuff if they give us a new one.”

“Your record’s honestly not that great—“

“Can you call Scotty or someone else?  My shoulder aches like a bitch and I really don’t want my balls to start hurting either.”

“Sorry, Kirk.  You’re stuck with me.”

“How was Bones while I was gone?”

“He’s certainly putting up a good front pretending to still be mad at you, which you definitely deserve after not telling anyone you wanted to leave us, but he’s bored to tears here.”

Jim nodded, McCoy was nothing if not stubborn on the outside but squishy on the inside.  A nurse finally came by to give him his last dose of pain meds via his IV and help him shuffle to the head, an act which Uhura found infinitely amusing considering his ass flapped out of one of those stupid gowns.

“I feel like Bones is still punishing me,” Jim picked at the applesauce and crackers he’d been charged with eating and keeping down.

“And you deserve every second of it.  Were you really going to leave us?  Also how did you get your application past me?  I see everything that goes to and from the ship.”

“I have my ways.  And no, I just got overwhelmed there for a while.  I know now that I’m not cut out to fly a desk.”

“I always thought Leonard was going to be the one we’d have to chain to the ship, not you.”

“As you know, I already got this lecture from Bones.  How do you think I ended up here?” Jim gestured to his immobilized arm.

“Running from your problems instead of acting like a grown up?”

Uhura’s barb went straight through his heart.

“Bones wanted space—“

Uhura’s eyes narrowed.  Did Jim really not see what she and the others did?  McCoy went to the ends of the galaxy for Jim and it wasn’t just because they were best friends. 

“I can feel my ears burnin’ all the way down the hall,” McCoy entered in his medical whites.

“Hey, Bones.”

“How’s the nausea?” McCoy helped himself to Jim’s shoulder.

“Better.”

“They take you to the head yet?”

“Oh I can’t thank you enough, Leonard, for getting to see how lily white Kirk’s ass is.”

“I guess so,” McCoy smirked as he pressed the nail beds on Jim’s immobilized hand.  “I don’t see a fever and you went to the head without any problems so there’s no reason not to cut you loose.  Let’s get that IV out and get you into some real clothes.”

Jim swung his feet off the biobed.

“Miss Uhura, would you mind waiting outside a few minutes?”

Jim was already digging through his bag for shorts by the time the door finished sliding closed.  McCoy helped get Jim dressed with only a few hisses and curses.

“See, that wasn’t so bad?” McCoy adjusted the fit of the immobilizer over Jim’s t-shirt.  “We’re back to being roommates for the time being unless you want someone else to help you while your arm is in this.”

Jim stilled.  He’d honestly expected to go back to his apartment.

“Jim?”

“Yeah, it’s fine.  You’re okay having to babysit me again?”

“I never took off the child locks from the last time.”

“Very funny, Bones.”

McCoy held up his data pad, “Here, sign this and I’ll call you a ride.  I still have to finish my shift but Uhura will—“

“Take me to your place,” Jim pressed his thumb to the empty box.

“Right.  I’ll bring your meds home with me.”

“Thanks, Bones,” Jim hurried to the door.

“Sure thing,” McCoy muttered to Jim’s back as he powered down the biobed and pulled the linens.

###

“Want to stay for dinner?  I brought enough,” McCoy held up the bag of take out.

“No thanks, Spock’s supposed to be taking me out.”

McCoy’s eyebrow rose.  

“Don’t even say it,” Uhura left McCoy in his doorway.

McCoy shook his head as he dropped the bags of food and Jim’s meds on his kitchen counter.  He started off towards the guest room when he saw Jim asleep on a plethora of pillows on the couch with a paper book splayed out on his lap.  McCoy carefully pulled the book free from Jim’s lax hands and placed the nearby card at his spot.  

A back of the hand to Jim’s brow confirmed he still didn’t have a fever, “Jim?”

“I’m up,” Jim said without opening his eyes.

“I have dinner and meds.”

“Uhura finally gone?”

“Yeah, she’s off to dinner with Spock.”

Jim opened his eyes, “Are they getting back together?”

“I’d put money on it.  Stomach feel better?”

Jim groaned when McCoy brought out a tricorder.  McCoy rolled his eyes but kept scanning.

“Yeah,” Jim let McCoy help him to his feet.

“The nerve block is probably about worn off so take the pain pills now,” McCoy deposited Jim on a counter stool.

Jim took the offered pills without complaint while McCoy unpacked the food.

“I got them to go easy on the oil if you want to try real food and not soup.  But I have that too if that doesn’t work out.”

“Thanks, Bones.  Rest of the shift went okay?” Jim dug into his container of noodles.

“Yeah, just a bunch of small surgeries.”

“Did they get you a lab?”

“No, I didn’t ask for one.  I wasn’t sure how long we were going to be here.  I didn’t want to get in the middle of something and we ship out,” McCoy opened his own dinner.

Jim’s ears perked up, “You don’t want to stay here?”

“What do you mean?”

“The big fancy hospital with the best toys Starfleet can get their hands on, hundreds of different species all converging in one spot, non-replicated coffee, I can keep going on.”

“Well I still get masochistic captains bleeding on my table, so being here didn’t really solve that problem.”

“If there was any bleeding then surely it was the surgeon’s fault.”

“You better watch it kid, I can put you in the hospital faster than I can take you out of one.”

“That definitely wouldn’t solve your bleeding captain problems.”

“Wanna test that theory?” McCoy eyed Jim.

Jim knew the man was a medical genius so there was a really good chance McCoy could easily make him suffer without spilling a single drop of blood, “Maybe later when it won’t look like you tried to beat up a cripple.”

“Please, you’re not crippled.  I’m a much better surgeon than that.”

“Almost too good for this place.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jim pushed his noodles around, “It seems like you may like it here more than the ship?”

“When did I ever say that?”

“Just some comments…”

“And do you want me to stay here?”

Please, no.

“What?  I didn’t say that.  Just curious.”

McCoy eyed Jim before letting out a hearty laugh, “Are you afraid I’d leave you?”

Jim’s cheeks reddened.

“Boy how the tables have turned.”

“Believe me when I say that the parallel isn’t lost on me.”

“Maybe I should keep you guessin’ until we ship out, if we ship out.”

“I deserved that,” Jim gave up eating.

Jim thought about Uhura’s words and how he’d been running from his problems.  He applied for a different job instead of admitting he needed help and then he ran from McCoy’s anger.  Now that they had time apart, Jim wasn’t even sure anymore if he could get through that rest of a tour without McCoy by his side.  

“Well if my opinion counts for anything, I want you to be there to finish our mission.  I’m also sorry I’ve been a colossal asshole for a while.”

McCoy stayed silent as he digested Jim’s apology.

“I want to make this right.”

Jim’s pulse quickened with McCoy’s silence.

“And if we go back, what happens when you get overwhelmed?”

“I tell you,” Jim said without skipping a beat.

“Uh huh.”

“I’m serious, Bones.  That day on the ship you talked about not knowing how to be me.  This is what I want ‘being Jim Kirk’ to be.”

“What prompted this change of heart?”

“The universe seems to always deliver a painful lesson when it’s time for me to learn something.”

McCoy knew that all too well since he was the one who usually had to patch Jim up afterwards. 

“So what was the lesson this time?”

“To stop running from my problems.”

“Well doesn’t that wrap it up with a nice pretty bow?”

Jim didn’t take his friend’s bait; McCoy deserved to be pissed.  

“Even if I didn’t talk to you like I should’ve, I just want you to know how much I’ve appreciated you being there with me throughout all this.  Be angry at me for as long as you need.”

McCoy hated himself for how easily he forgave Jim.  The bastard had wormed his way so deep into his heart that he couldn’t fathom life without him.  He’d broken his oath just because he couldn’t continue in a world where Jim Kirk was dead.  The one thing he couldn’t stand was Jim in any kind of pain, physical or emotional.  McCoy’s heart ached for what would never be between the two of them.

“So what do I need to toss in to make sure you come back to the ship to finish our mission?  I’m almost certain we’ll be getting the one almost finished in drydock, but it’s not too late to have some new toys installed in her sickbay,” Jim wiggled his eyebrows.  

“I don’t think you can afford what I cost.”

“Oh try me, old man.  I’m sure I can find whatever the latest and greatest medical technology the galaxy has to offer and have three of them on board.  All the hypos your heart can desire.”

“Hah!  You think I’m that cheap you brat?”

“A dedicated research team?”

“Please, I don’t need more mealy eyed shadows that could kill us all just by breaking a test tube.”

“Then what is it?

McCoy put on a good show of thinking deeply.  He really didn’t need to be sold, but it wasn’t going to hurt to see what he could get out of these negotiations.

“A water shower?  A cabin without a porthole?”

The idea hit him like a lightning bolt and McCoy set down his chopsticks. 

“You’ve found your price?”

“I have, Jim.”

“Lay it on me then.”

“A coffee maker.”

“A what?”

“C’mon, I do your hearing tests so I know you’re not deaf.”

“A coffee maker?”

If I’m going to be stuck in a tin can with all you self sacrificing idiots for who knows how long, I am not going to do it on replicator coffee.”

“Bones, it all tastes the same,” Jim was still trying to process the request.  “I mean you don’t want more stuff?”

“Replicator coffee is nothing like brewed coffee.  I also want the coffee to go with it too.  And I want it installed near my office.”

“Well how’s that going to help anyone else who wants any?”

“Who said I would share?”

Jim seriously paused at the thought of having to go to sickbay if he wanted in on the non-replicated coffee too. 

“That’s my final price, Captain .”

Jim held out his free hand to shake on the deal, “Who knew you were so cheap, Bones?”

McCoy shook, “You better watch it you little shit.  You better have me well caffeinated if I have to patch your sorry ass up for a few more years.”

“I don’t think you need any help with that.  You were a little over eager to start slicing into my shoulder just yesterday.”

McCoy’s ears flushed.

“It’s almost like you were just itching to cut into me.”

“I was—“

Jim’s pointed look stopped the surgeon.

“Okay, I may be a little bored here.”

“A little?”

“Oh shut up you insufferable asshole.  You’d be bored too if the most complicated surgery you’ve done in weeks was taking out someone’s ingrown toenail.  Dammit Jim, I’m a trauma surgeon not a—“

Jim mockingly clutched his chest, “Oh the horror.”

“Keep at it and see what else I can do to you.”

“As much shit as you say about diseases and other ways to die horrifically, you’re complaining about routine surgery?” Jim howled.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll slip something on your drink to permanently shrink your balls.”

Jim went silent and McCoy’s mouth ticked upwards.  

“That’s a real thing?”

“Keep at it and find out.”

“You wouldn’t—“

McCoy held up his glass in a mock salute.

“Bones?”

“Finish eating, kid,” McCoy couldn’t keep up the charade and broke into a hearty laugh.

“That’s just mean,” Jim turned back towards his dinner. 

 

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