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A red-headed man dangled his feet over the edge of the Mysterious Tower's balcony, looking out at the swatches of orange and blue along the horizon. He pulled a white envelope out of his pocket and flipped it over in his hands, inspecting the wear and tear of having been opened one too many times.
/What are we going to do about Isa, Axel?/
His hands slackened.
That's not Isa, you know. Not any more.
The tired thought in the back of his mind went quiet.
They'd been coming ever since he woke up recompleted. His former self whispering in his ear to his Nobody self. A consequence of being split apart, he assumed.
/I suppose you’re right,/ came Lea's response. /I mean, look at you./
Yes, Axel mused. Look at me.
/We don’t know if what happened with us is normal, though, what with your weird little half heart./
And winning personality.
/And that’s not really what you meant anyway./
Axel thought about yellow eyes and pointed ears and a cross-shaped scar.
No.
The image in his head must have been a strong one.
/Ugh, that geezer’s icky mark. You know, I really wish you’d make them call us Lea, now we know what that x business was really all about./
I did try! Axel thought, exasperated.
/But you never had much that belonged to you, did you?/
As if I even really owned my name.
/Don’t lie to me. Haha, not that you can./
It’s not that, Axel thought. It’s more like.
/That’s how he’d remember you./
They were silent a minute, drifting uneasily through a memory.
/Why am I even getting on your case. You know, this is my fault. When Isa lost his heart, I should have.../
You trying to say you’re sorry I was born? Have a heart, man. Heh. Anyway, whose fault it is doesn't matter. We can set things right, both of us. With Isa and Roxas--
"Oh, er, hi Axel." He turned to find Riku standing behind him in the doorway. "Ah, Lea, I mean?"
It seemed like his presence had caught Riku off guard, leaving him wavering close to the door, as if deciding whether or not to lean on it or actually join him.
Axel smirked, but faced the horizon again. “Hi.”
Axel relished the awkward silence thickening between them.
“Um--” Riku began.
"So, you got your friend back." Axel smoothed a corner of the envelope. "Must be nice."
Riku sat down next to him. "If it weren't for you saving us both."
"Heh. So now I get to be the hero. Never quite thought I'd play that role."
/Nah. Breaking into castles was more our thing./
Shut up, I'm trying to be insightful.
/Good luck./
Ha ha. Fuck you.
"Can I ask you something?" Riku said.
"Shoot."
"Back at Castle Oblivion. You let Naminé and me leave the castle with Sora."
"What of it?"
/He's asking you why, idiot./
"You were still with the Organization then. So, why'd you do it?"
Axel took a deep breath and released it slowly. He stared up at the faint pinpricks of stars above him.
"I knew," he cleared his throat, "I knew that..."
"Roxas," Riku said.
"Yeah...."
Riku stayed silent, but Axel could feel him watching from the corner of his eye.
“Well. I was always looking out for number one, that’s all.”
“Number one, huh,” said Riku.
Axel's hands tightened on the envelope.
Riku shifted. “Do you ever think about what it would have been like if it had been the other way around?”
The wind up there was fucking freezing.
“Yeah,” he managed, throat dry.
Axel thought about how there was a time he would have murdered this boy on the spot. When he would have burned down everything he stood for. Because only one of them could have saved their best friend. One or the other.
There had been a time when he would have murdered Sora, taken his Nobody by the hand, run for the sunset and never looked back.
“Me too,” said Riku, quietly. “I know Sora does. And I know that he will do everything he can to set things right.”
“I guess that’s why it had to be you.”
Riku’s gaze was piercing. “It didn’t have to be anybody. There’s no such thing as destiny, just a time travelling bald asshole with too many clones.”
Suddenly Axel was laughing so hard he was almost crying. Riku gave him a weird look. “It’s not that funny.”
“Sorry, sorry. Just. You’re right. Guess I’ve spent all this time thinking it was the universe I was fighting. But it’s just some dude. And he isn’t even hot.”
Riku choked and stood up. “I’m leaving now.”
He stared off into the sunset, smile fading. “Well. I guess what I mean is, it’s better it was you, then.”
/What did I say about lying?/
Riku hesitated at the doorway. “Um.” He turned to look at him. Despite the shadows in his eyes and calluses on his hands, there was still a lot of gangly awkward teenager to Riku. “Don’t sell yourself short, Lea. You’re a good guy.”
Axel snorted, the sentiment echoing in his head.
“I’m serious. I. We... Both of us have been given a second chance.” Axel stilled. "So yeah. Just, yeah.”
/Kids these days,/ Lea laughed.
You’ve been dead for ten years, what the hell do you know about kids these days.
“Thank you for imparting such wisdom, Master Riku,” he said with a mock bow. Riku flushed bright red and absconded.
Axel looked out at the sunset again.
It still hurt. It always hurt, hoping.
But.
/But you’re on the right side, this time. All eggs in the one basket and full steam ahead. You have reason to hope./
Yeah.