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Early one morning, Hakyeon received a summons to meet with his General as soon as he had broken his fast. The messenger boy had hesitantly handed him the General's missive, ducking his head when Hakyeon reached out to pat his head in thanks, and darted off down the corridor to deliver more missives.
Once he had closed the door to his bedchambers again, he slumped against the heavy wooden barrier, his knees suddenly weak. If he — and other squadron leaders — had received a missive, had been called into a meeting, it could only mean one thing: they were being called to arms. It meant that the Great Kingdom of Wu had done something unspeakable, unforgivable — invaded another country, maybe; massacred another royal family, unlikely but certainly not an option to be ruled out — and that the Great Kingdom of Kim were about to retaliate, to answer back to their atrocities. Suddenly, his world felt as though it was turning onto its side and the ground beneath his feet seemed to become unstable.
"What is it, Hakyeon?" a quiet voice asked from the direction of his bed, and his head snapped up to see Taekwoon blink blearily at him from under the mound of blankets they had wrapped around themselves last night. (He had almost been unable to untangle himself when the messenger boy had knocked earlier.)
"I—" He swallowed, looking back down at the missive still gripped in his right hand.
On the bed, Taekwoon shifted, sitting up, suddenly looking wide awake — or as wide awake as Taekwoon ever looked at seven o'clock in the morning. His eyes were drawn to the rustle of paper in Hakyeon's hand and he squinted, trying to work out what the other was holding.
There could be no mistaking the red paper of a summons, though.
"Is that—" Taekwoon breathed out in question, adding two and two together but not quite believing that four was the right answer. "Is that… a summons?"
Hakyeon couldn't get the affirmation out, the word heavy on his tongue, so he nodded instead — one curt nod to confirm Taekwoon's suspicion.
The whoosh of breath Taekwoon let out sounded as heavy as the weight that had suddenly settled across Hakyeon's shoulders.
"So," Taekwoon began, quiet and disbelieving, "it's actually happened. The Great Kingdom of Wu have definitely made their move."
Hakyeon nodded again, hanging his head afterwards. "I don't want to go to the meeting," he admitted quietly. "I don't want to face that reality yet."
There was a shuffle from the direction of the bed, and although he didn't look up, he knew Taekwoon must be clambering off the bed, probably to put some clothes on so he could join Hakyeon down in the mesh hall for food. So when Taekwoon's bare feet appeared in the edge of his sight, he jerked in surprise, his head snapping up and almost smacking painfully against the wooden door against his back. Taekwoon had padded across the room wrapped in only their blankets, and hadn't stopped until he was stood toe to toe with Hakyeon.
"Hakyeon," he said in his soft voice, a hand darting out from within his blanket cocoon to grab one of Hakyeon's, "you are the only one of us strong enough to handle news like this, that was why we chose you as our leader. So be strong, for us."
Hakyeon searched Taekwoon's eyes, trying to read the the emotion behind the other man's words, and was met with sincerity. For all the other members' antics and whining when Hakyeon became too affectionate, Taekwoon's gaze spoke of everyone's genuine admiration of him and belief in his abilities, and a sense of happiness and gratefulness welled up within him.
"I—" he tried, before choking on his emotions. He still wanted to get his point across though, so instead he surged forward, throwing his arms around Taekwoon and burying his face in the crook of Taekwoon's neck. "Thank you."
Taekwoon didn't reply, but Hakyeon did feel a gently press of lips against the shell of his ear and a reassuring squeeze around his waist, and that was enough to give him strength to face the upcoming meeting.
By the time the meeting was finished, it was well past dinnertime and although he had fed — the General had stepped out personally to ask that dinner be delivered for them so that they could eat while strategising — Hakyeon felt as though no amount of food could possibly compensate for the energy he had used up on thinking all day. By the end of the meeting, he was mildly surprised that everyone were not slumped in their chairs, exhausted. Yet, as soon as Hakyeon and the other team leaders were dismissed by Prince Joonmyeon and their General, he immediately jumped up and set out to find the members of his squad with a heavy heart.
Hakyeon stopped by his room first — to drop off the bundle of papers he had accumulated from the meeting — and that was where he found Taekwoon, sitting on his bed, his hands clenched around an amulet his mother had given to him when he had first joined the army. It was a simple amulet, handmade and delicate looking, but Hakyeon knew first hand how many skirmishes it had lived through, how many times it had protected Taekwoon throughout their years in the army of the Great Kingdom of Kim.
"Our orders are to move out in two days' time," Hakyeon announced quietly as he placed his things on his desk and sat down heavily in his chair. "The Great Kingdom of Wu are making their move on the Han Country, just south of our borders and one of the countries we recently pledged to protect. Our King made the pledge and signed the pact, and we have no reason to back out of our commitment — and, at any rate, we have no wish to."
"The allegiance was announced to all of the countries, just as all the other allegiances we had made before were," Taekwoon added, "so the King of Wu cannot use ignorance as an excuse."
Hakyeon hummed in agreement. "One too many atrocities have already been committed by that country and its sovereign," he said, thinking of the kind-hearted Princess Liyin of the former Zhang Kingdom, now a barren stretch of wasteland between the two Great Kingdoms. "We can't let this one go."
They sat in silence for a moment, mulling over and coming to terms with the situation that now faced them.
Suddenly, Taekwoon moved, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and leaning forward so he could see Hakyeon more clearly. "You are bothered by something, Hakyeon. What is it?"
"I'm worried about Sanghyuk," he admitted, turning his gaze down to his lap where his hand rested, his fingers linked. "That's his country, where he was born and raised; that's his people — the people he grew up with, the people he had spent the most time with — that's about to come under attack."
"How far away from the Han Country borders is the Wu army?"
"Our spies report that their troops have been making slow progress across the Great Kingdom of Wu," Hakyeon replied, trying to recall the information the General had reported, "and the missive came in yesterday evening. It was sent by an eagle, which would have taken half a day — a day at most — to get here. They estimate that that army will be crossing over into the Han Country in three sundowns — two, if they speed up — but it'll be a minimum of another five before they arrive any sort of civilization since the Han country is almost completely surrounded by dense forests and that'll act as deterrent. Ideally, though, we hope to stop them before they can travel too far across the border.
"From here, it'll take a day and a half at most for us to arrive at the Han Country border, and if our spies and Generals have mapped the Wu army's course correctly, we'll be able to intercept them at the Wu-Han border. The King has ordered that we move in our small squadrons of 6 to 9, because that way, we'll move swifter and we'll have the element of surprise on our side. If their King is as aware of the alliance pact as he should be, he'll have warned his army to watch out for our army; they won't be expecting the Great Kingdom of Kim to respond by sending out small squadrons of elites.
"Of course, the main bulk of the army training not far from here will also be mobilising, but it will be a week before they're on the road, so our job is really just to slow them down as much as possible if we can't take them out ourselves."
"Are we moving out by ourselves?"
Hakyeon shook his head. "No. We'll be heading out from here with Eunkwang's team. Sungkyu's team will be mobilising tomorrow, and then we're heading out with Eunkwang's team. Sungkyu's team have been tasked with preparation, meeting up with the spies to check the position of the Wu army and reporting back to me and Eunkwang with any last minute changes."
Taekwoon nodded once, twice, showing he understood what they had to do. It was a lot of information to take in, but he was Hakyeon's right-hand man: absorbing information was almost second nature to him now.
"I'm—" Hakyeon whispered a moment later, curling in on himself. "I'm scared— no, terrified."
There was a flurry of movements, and next thing he knew, he had been pulled onto the bed, into Taekwoon's lap, the other's arms curled protectively around him. Without realising it, he had begun crying and there were salty trails of tears running down his cheeks, spilling over his eyes and wetting his lips, and he rubbed at his eyes furiously. Taekwoon was rocking them back and forth, making quiet, hushing noises into Hakyeon's hair as he did so.
"I'm so terrified," the team leader sobbed, almost choking on his words, "of so many things."
"Tell me, Hakyeon," Taekwoon murmured. When the other shook his head, hair brushing against Taekwoon's cheek, Taekwoon's grip on him tightened, and Taekwoon said, his voice firm, "You can always tell me everything, you know that, so do not bottle up your thoughts now. Tell me, Hakyeon, what it is you are so afraid of."
Hakyeon shook his head again, this time more fervently, although this time, it felt less like rejection of Taekwoon's offer of help and more as if he were trying to shake away his thoughts, shake his way through his thoughts. Eventually, though, he caved under his worries and the words tumbled out faster than he could stem them.
"I'm terrified for Sanghyuk," he whimpered, his voice so weak it broke Taekwoon's heart. "I'm terrified that we won't be able to do our job, we won't be able to protect his country. I'm terrified that the Wu army will reach their destination faster than the time we've estimated, that they'll do more than just take the citizens of the Han Country as slaves. I'm terrified that we'll let Sanghyuk's people down, and that would break Sanghyuk.
"I'm terrified of breaking Sanghyuk, Taekwoon," he cried urgently, breaking out of Taekwoon's embrace to grip at Taekwoon's upper arm, shaking the other man slightly to get his point across. "I'm so scared that I'll let him down, that if anything goes wrong he'll come to hate me because I promised his father to look after him and I'm sworn to protecting the Han Country as a member of the Great Kingdom of Kim's army. I'm—"
"Stop," Taekwoon cut in harshly, one hand coming up to close around Hakyeon's mouth, the other curling around the back of Hakyeon's neck. "Stop it, Hakyeon. You are stressing yourself out unnecessarily."
And then he leaned his face forward, pressing his forehead against Hakyeon's so that he could look his squadron leader in the eye. Under his breath, he muttered quiet instructions for Hakyeon to take a deep breath, and out, yes, good.
When Hakyeon was breathing normally again, more in control of his emotions, Taekwoon took away his hands and pulled away a little. Hakyeon whined lowly, wanting Taekwoon's reassuring warmth, the pressure of Taekwoon's forehead pressing against his own, and he leaned forward to follow Taekwoon when the other leaned backwards to grab a few sheets of tissue out of the box sitting on the cabinet at the end of the bed. His movements, unfortunately, caused them to overbalance and sent them sprawling onto the bed, Taekwoon's back hitting the mattress with an audible oomph.
"Sorry," Hakyeon muttered his apology, arms moving to push himself up.
Taekwoon immediately reached out to stop him, looping his arms under Hakyeon's armpits and hauling Hakyeon up so they were face to face. Then, he gently wiped at Hakyeon's face with the tissue he had just grabbed, brushing away the evidence of the other's tears with gentle motions.
"Hakyeon," he began softly, holding the other's gaze with ernest, "you have no reason to be as terrified as you are. I know that a lot of this terror stems from the fact that this will be the first time you will be leading us into actual battle. This country has seen a very long period of peace and we have all grown accustomed to the idea of combat training as a way of training the body, as a form of exercise, rather than as a way of defending ourselves against an enemy.
"I am scared too, because this will be the first time we will truly be using our training on an actual battlefield. There is no way to tell, right now, what the outcome will be. But we signed up to join the army fully aware that one day we may have to execute everything we ever learn to actually do battle, and we have all trained ourselves so that we would fulfill and go beyond the basic requirements of joining the most elite teams of the army. We are, all of us, here today because we were at least a little bit prepared in our hearts that maybe a day like this would come.
"And as for Sanghyuk, he is a tough kid, and no matter what the outcome of the battle, he will still love you because he looks up to you and he will understand. We will try our hardest not to let his country come to ruin, and that is all that anyone — be it you or Sanghyuk or the citizens of the Han Country — can ask for. We have not stepped out onto the battlefield, we do not know what will happen, so there is no point in worrying unduly. We are prepared for this, have been prepared for this since the first reports of the mobilising of the Wu army — all we can do now is hope for the best and do everything we can."
"I—"
Taekwoon made a shushing noise as he tangled his fingers in Hakyeon's hair and pulled the other man's head down beside his. "You are stressed and tired," he whispered. "You have been up since the crack of dawn and you have had to sit in meetings all day. Get some rest. I will let the others know."
Hakyeon struggled for a moment, muffled protests that it was his job as team leader to inform the team of their assignment as soon as possible, but Taekwoon's embrace held strong and eventually, he sighed and gave up fighting the other, curling his own arms around Taekwoon's waist.
"Thank you, my lifelong friend," he said instead, letting himself relax in Taekwoon's hold. "I love you."
"I have said it before, and I will say it again — I will never stop saying it if I must — but between us, there is no need for thanks," Taekwoon answered, turning his head to the side and gently pressing a kiss into Hakyeon's cheek. "I love you too."
Hakyeon closed his eyes, letting Taekwoon's words sink into his mind and reassure him that everything would be okay. Taekwoon was right: there was no point worrying now, not when they hadn't even moved out. All he could do was prepare himself and his team as best they could and then give their all when they were actually out there.
Slowly, to the gentle strokes of Taekwoon's fingers in his hair and the soothing hum of Taekwoon's voice in his ear, his breathing evened out and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
For a while, Taekwoon lay on the bed, cradling Hakyeon — his team leader, his lifelong friend, his lover — to him, turning the other's words over and over in his mind.
In truth, Hakyeon's breakdown had shaken him a little, because this was Hakyeon — cheerful, affectionate, self-assured Hakyeon who caught the curve balls life threw at him and threw them back just as hard. It took a lot to break him, to bring him to his knees like this, but Taekwoon had noticed that he had become more and more stressed, pulled more and more into himself in the past months as reports from their spy network placed around the Great Kingdom of Wu slowly flooded in.
Their new assignment had been the straw that broke the mighty camel's back, and Taekwoon was just glad that he had been here to support Hakyeon before the other could crumble. What could he do to help Hakyeon, to help shoulder the other's burden?
He didn't have much of a chance to ponder on it, though — his back was beginning to ache and he suddenly realised how awkward their positions were, bodies sprawled on the bed but feet dangling off the side. Gently, so as to not wake Hakyeon, he wriggled them around until they were both lying on the bed properly, Hakyeon's arms still curled around him.
Sleep first, he figured, looking down at Hakyeon's face bathed in the moonlight streaming in from the window above the bed, the tanned skin of his lover glowing softly, warm and inviting. There is time yet for darker thoughts.
When Hakyeon next opened his eyes, sunlight was streaming in through the uncurtained windows above his bed.
Ah, he thought, blinking in the face of the light, I forgot to close the curtains last night. Why is that?
And then he remembered.
Last night, he had stumbled back into his room to find Taekwoon on his bed, and he had told his best friend about their upcoming assignment. After that, he had fallen asleep in the other's embrace after lots and lots of reassurance that everything would be okay. He remembered a moment during the night when he had woken up briefly, pulled out of sleep for some reason before sinking back under the blackness of unconsciousness, but he could distinctly recall the feeling of arms wrapped tight around him — strong, familiar arms that he had spent many, many hours being cradled within.
So where was Taekwoon now? The stretch of bedding beside him was cool to the touch but it was hard to judge how long it had been since Taekwoon left his side as, judging from the slant of the rays of sunlight above him and the chill of the room around him, it couldn't be later than seven or eight o'clock in the morning. Taekwoon could have left no more than ten minutes ago or more than half an hour ago and the bedding would feel equally as cool under his fingertips.
His question was answered a moment later when the door to his chamber opened and then closed again quickly, followed by the quiet shuffle of shoes across flagstone flooring. Having trained and lived with all sorts of people — his team members being the longest before he had been appointed as the team's leader and given his own chambers — he knew the patterns of everyone's footsteps, and he knew exactly whose these belonged to.
Turning his head to the side, he caught sight of Taekwoon shuffling around the room, pulling off his shirt and laying it over the back of Hakyeon's desk chair. The other man paused in front of the wooden desk, looking at some of the documents Hakyeon hadn't cleared away from before, and from this angle, Hakyeon could see Taekwoon's eyes squint to make out the messy scrawl of Hakyeon's writing.
When Taekwoon turned around, he started a little at the sight of Hakyeon's eyes trained on him but that was all the reaction Hakyeon managed to get out of the other man. Instead of saying anything, Taekwoon sat down beside Hakyeon and smoothed back strands of Hakyeon's hair that had fallen into the leader's eye.
"You're awake," he said gently, naturally soft voice even quieter in the early morning hush.
Hakyeon hummed in reply. "How long have I been asleep?"
Taekwoon pursed his lips in thought. "About ten hours or so, I think," he answered after a moment. "You've been exhausted these past few days, running errands for the General and making extra plans, on top of training us. You've been long overdue for a good rest." He stopped brushing Hakyeon's hair out of his eyes when Hakyeon turned his head onto its back, curling his fingers around the Hakyeon's cheeks. "Did you sleep well?"
Hakyeon blinked, flexing his fingers as he tried to gauge how well he'd slept. He certainly felt more energised than he had yesterday morning. Taekwoon was right: he was long overdue for a good rest. Ever since the reports that the Wu army had begun mobilising, he had been on the move non-stop, just as the other had said. There was just so much to do everyday — discussing with other team leaders how to best utilise their individual teams' strengths and formulating plans of movement, plans of attack — that catching even a moment's break was hard to come by, especially when he had to close the day training with his team members too. Ten hours of sleep was more than he could ideally afford, especially in such a dire time, but it was what his body had wanted and needed, and now—
"Yes," he said with a firm nod, looking Taekwoon in the eye, "I slept really well."
Now, he felt more than ready to face the world again.
The edges of Taekwoon's expression softened visibly, relieved, and he smiled, the corners of his lips curling just that tiny bit. "I'm glad."
"And," Hakyeon added, shifting so that he could grasp Taekwoon's hand and lace their fingers together, "I'm sure it's because you were here with me last night."
At Hakyeon's declaration, Taekwoon flushed lightly, the apples of his cheeks shading themselves a soft shade of pink. He looked away, slightly embarrassed, which caused Hakyeon to chuckle lightheartedly and squeeze their linked fingers slightly.
"Where did you go, by the way?" Hakyeon asked, sitting up in the bed. "When I woke up, you weren't here."
"I woke up about an hour ago, just before daybreak," Taekwoon answered. "For some reason, I woke up with the urge to watch the sunrise so I went up to the battlements. I found Wonshik and Hongbin up there too, with the same purpose, so we watched the sunrise together."
Hakyeon sighed happily at the thought of watching the day dawn with his team members. "We should do that some time," he said wistfully, turning his head to look out of his window. "It would be so nice, I think — a good bonding experience."
Taekwoon hummed in agreement. "I am certain the others would like that."
They lapsed into silence, with Hakyeon looking out of his window and over their encampment and Taekwoon watching him closely.
"By the way," Taekwoon started, squeezing Hakyeon's fingers gently.
Hakyeon looked back, curious. "What is it?"
"I told the others," he said quietly. The team leader made a startled expression, and Taekwoon hurried on to explain. "As we were coming back down from the roof, I told Wonshik and Hongbin that we had an assignment coming up and we went to find Jaehwan and Sanghyuk. I explained what you had told me yesterday, and told them that we would meet later so that you can brief them properly."
Hakyeon blinked, surprised. He hadn't expected Taekwoon to take the initiative like this, even though Taekwoon was his right hand man, the vice captain of their team. Taekwoon was supposed to help carry the burdens of the leader, do things in the place of the leader if the leader was ever in a position where he couldn't lead. But Taekwoon was quiet and shy, preferring to complete the tasks that he could help with without having to speak, to stand before others and voice any of his thoughts. It was why Taekwoon readily took over the paperworks Hakyeon was often handed, working through those so that Hakyeon himself could meet and greet and hand assignments on to other members of the army. Taekwoon was most vocal when he thought no-one was watching, no-one scrutinising him, when it was just him and Hakyeon in Hakyeon's room, creating new attack patterns or working out who worked best with who.
"You didn't—"
"I did," Taekwoon cut in quickly. "I know I have been slacking from my job as the vice captain of our team. From the very beginning, you have been very understanding of the fact that things such as social interaction and speaking in public are not my forte, and I have always appreciated the little things you do to accommodate this, such as handing your paperwork to me to complete so that you could attend the vice captain meetings in my place. But I am, first and foremost, the vice captain of this team, and I have a duty of helping you carry your burden.
"You needed to inform them, eventually, that our next assignment is the protection of the Han Country, but you said it yourself last night: you are scared of breaking the news to Sanghyk. So I took that out of your hand."
Hakyeon blinked rapidly, tears of gratitude gathering in the corners of his eyes. "I—"
"It is the least I could do for you, Hakyeon, as your vice captain" Taekwoon whispered, squeezing Hakyeon's hand and holding it tightly in reassurance. "You do so much for us already, so…"
"Still," Hakyeon sighed, leaning forward so their foreheads touched, "thank you so much." He pressed a closed lip kiss to Taekwoon's cheek, lingering there. "You're the best."
Taekwoon turned his face slightly so he could brush a returning kiss to Hakyeon's cheek. "For you, anything."
They sat like that for a few quiet moments, basking in the silence of Hakyeon's room and the warming rays of sunshine streaming in from behind Hakyeon. They remained that way for so long that both of them began to wonder if the other had dozed off, and Hakyeon raised his free hand to poke at Taekwoon's cheek just as Taekwoon's own unoccupied hand reached over to pinch Hakyeon's side. The sudden shock of his skin being grabbed pulled a laugh out of Hakyeon, and he jerked, collapsing on the bed again.
"We should head down to breakfast soon," Taekwoon said, standing up. "We could beat the crowd and get the best food if we went down now."
"Yes," Hakyeon agreed, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and fumbling around for his shoes, "let's go." Once he had laced up his boots, he jumped up and joined his and Taekwoon's hand, lacing their fingers together again.
As he pulled the other out of room, he suddenly felt a rush of gratitude and happiness wash over him at the thought of having Taekwoon at his side, and he looked back with a wide grin.
"I'm so glad to have you," he declared before Taekwoon could open his mouth to ask why Hakyeon was looking at him like that. "As my best friend, as my lover, as my vice captain, as my everything — I'm just so glad I have you by my side. Thank you, for putting up with me all these years."
His sudden confession — or rather, affirmation — of his feelings startled Taekwoon, but it also tugged at the edge of the other man's lip, and Taekwoon smiled a small, barely noticeable smile. But it was a smile nonetheless because Hakyeon could read Taekwoon like the back of his hand — they had been together for far too long, first as friends, then as lovers, and now as captain and vice captain of their very own team too — and he knew every single one of Taekwoon's smiles.
"There is nowhere I would rather be, Hakyeon," Taekwoon replied, the edges of his smile widening slightly, "than by your side."
It was a smile of affection, of happiness, of home.