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Jiang Cheng keeps turning the insignia in his hand. He knows it by heart by now but he still reaches out for it more often than not, especially when he has to sit down for dinner by himself.
The worst part about this is that he shouldn’t even be by himself right now, because Wei Wuxian is right there in Lotus Pier, on one of his rare visits, but it seems like he still can’t remember to stick to social norms.
Dinner shouldn’t even be that hard, honestly, and yet here Jiang Cheng is, eating alone with just the insignia of his dead husband to keep him company.
Same as usual, really.
Jiang Cheng sighs, smoothing his thumb over the crest on the insignia in a repetitive gesture while he eats and he’s so lost in thought that he startles badly when Wei Wuxian barges into the room.
“Chengcheng!” he calls out and Jiang Cheng reflexively scowls at him.
“Stop that,” he orders, even though he knows Wei Wuxian will not listen to him.
“What do you have there?” Wei Wuxian asks, honing in on the insignia in Jiang Cheng’s hand, and Jiang Cheng is not fast enough to hide it properly before Wei Wuxian has already snatched it out of his hand.
“Give that back!” Jiang Cheng demands and he bristles with the knowledge that this is the first time anyone besides him has touched it.
“Why? What’s so special about it?” Wei Wuxian wants to know, turning the insignia around and inspecting it. “Is it cursed or is there a spirit living in it?”
“It’s an inanimate object, for gods’ sake, now give it back to me,” Jiang Cheng presses out, getting up and ready to straight up jump Wei Wuxian to take it back.
“If there’s nothing special about it then why is it so important to you?”
“It has sentimental value to me,” Jiang Cheng says with clenched teeth and Zidian sparks on his finger.
He’s really not too happy that someone else touched his most important treasure and Jiang Cheng is ready to fight Wei Wuxian over it.
“It doesn’t belong to shi-jie or Uncle Fengmian and Madam Yu,” Wei Wuxian muses and holds the insignia close to his eye. “Who is it from?”
Jiang Cheng takes that moment of distraction to snatch it back out of Wei Wuxian’s hand and he presses it to his chest in a protective gesture.
“It belongs to my husband,” Jiang Cheng hisses and fights the urge to clean the insignia.
It’s not like Wei Wuxian is dirty, but it feels wrong that someone else touched it.
“You’re not married,” Wei Wuxian gives back with huge eyes and Jiang Cheng glares at him.
“I’m a widower,” he tells him and no matter how many years it’s been, it still hurts.
“He’s dead?” Wei Wuxian stupidly asks and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes as he sits back down.
“Yes, that’s typically what being a widower means,” he snarks as Wei Wuxian sits down as well.
“Who was it?” Wei Wuxian asks after a short silence and Jiang Cheng works his jaw a few times.
It’s been a long while since he had to tell someone and it hurts, especially with the recent happenings.
“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng finally whispers and watches as Wei Wuxian goes slack with shock.
“What?” he breathes out and then shakes his head. “No way were you married to him. Lan Zhan would have told me something like that when we were—” he trails off, sending an apologetic look at Jiang Cheng.
“Piecing his body back together,” Jiang Cheng finishes for him and he can’t help the bitterness that rises in him. “I wouldn’t be too surprised. Lan Wangji never cared much for me or the happenings in the world. I could have made out with Mingjue in front of the jingshi and he wouldn’t have noticed.”
“That’s not true, Lan Zhan cares,” Wei Wuxian protests and Jiang Cheng snorts.
“Yeah, about you. Not so much about anything else.”
“That’s not—listen, we can try Inquiry? I bet Lan Zhan would play it for you if you asked.”
Jiang Cheng stares at him.
“I know your thought process basically stops at Lan Wangji, but what in heavens name makes you think that Lan Wangji is the only one who can play that song?”
“I guess Sizhui can do it, too,” Wei Wuxian amends and Jiang Cheng fights the urge to throw something at him.
“You are so fucking dumb,” he mutters. “Lan Xichen played it religiously back when Mingjue vanished and even Lan Qiren played it on my request. There never was an answer.”
“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breathes out. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever,” Jiang Cheng gives back and moves his thumb over the insignia again.
“I could—I mean, maybe I can bring him back?” Wei Wuxian says next and Jiang Cheng slaps his hand on the table, making Wei Wuxian flinch.
“You will stay far away from him,” he orders him. “Your cultivation style is what keeps him from me in the first place and you will not—under any circumstances—go near him again.”
“I didn’t kill him,” Wei Wuxian huffs out and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
“No, you didn’t,” he agrees. “But the cultivational style you invented makes sure that I will never see him again, no matter how often I reincarnate of how long I live. His reincarnation cycle is broken and demonic cultivation is the cause of that. So you will not do anything else to him.”
“But if I could bring him back—”
“As what? A fierce corpse, like Wen Ning? Go ask him how much he likes being unable to ever reincarnate. How happy he his about the fact that he will have to live forever now as he is.”
“I’m sorry,” Wei Wuxian says again and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
“I’m not—I loved him and I lost him. It’s been a while now and—well, it will never be okay, but it gets easier, somehow.”
“You really loved him, huh?” Wei Wuxian asks and Jiang Cheng shrugs.
“He was my soul,” Jiang Cheng simply says and then changes the topic.
He doesn’t want to speak about it, especially not with everything that has been happening. It’s already bad enough that he feels the loss every second of every day.
~*~*~
Jiang Cheng is just going through his usual training routine when a commotion catches his attention. His disciple seem to be in uproar and Jiang Cheng instinctively tenses.
If someone brought a fight here, to Lotus Pier, then they are in for a surprise. He will not let anyone harm his home, never again.
Jiang Cheng rushes towards the entrance, Sandu at the ready and Zidian sparking, and he’s prepared to whip some sense into whoever dared to come here.
What he is not prepared for is to come face to face with Nie Mingjue.
“No,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and unleashes Zidian at him.
Nie Mingjue is dead—there is no way that he can show up at Lotus Pier just like that and Jiang Cheng will find out what is going on here.
Nie Mingjue easily catches Zidian in his hand and nothing else happens. He doesn’t even jerk in pain, because Zidian seems to recognise him and retreats back to Jiang Cheng’s finger.
“What the fuck,” Jiang Cheng breathes out and now there’s a dangerous spark of hope inside of him.
It gets ignited into a burning hot flame when Nie Mingjue takes three huge steps towards him and pulls him into a bruising kiss.
“I have missed you so much,” Nie Mingjue mumbles against Jiang Cheng’s lips and it’s enough to bring tears to Jiang Cheng’s eyes.
“How is this possible?” he dares to ask, though he clings to Nie Mingjue.
Jiang Cheng can feel his heartbeat, and he can hear Nie Mingjue breathe and he looks healthy and whole and not at all like a fierce corpse and it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
“I’m your soul,” Nie Mingjue says as if that should make any sense.
“You are, of course you are, but how—” Jiang Cheng mutters and shakes his head. “Tell me this is real. Tell me you’re not leaving me again.”
“I’m not leaving you again,” Nie Mingjue promises and pulls Jiang Cheng into a hug. “I’m your soul,” he repeats. “When I was killed, my soul went to you. It stayed with you all this time. You kept it safe and prevented that it vanishes,” Nie Mingjue lowly says into his ear and Jiang Cheng shudders.
“So that’s why Inquiry never worked?” he asks and Nie Mingjue nods.
“I was with you all this time.”
“But then how—you’re alive again. How is that possible.”
“You’re my heart,” Nie Mingjue easily gives back. “You are my heart and as long as you are alive, I will always find my way back. It just—took a while. My body was all torn up and there was nothing even your heart could do for me.”
“But they pieced you back together,” Jiang Cheng whispers, closing his eyes against the tears and pressing his face into Nie Mingjue’s shoulder. “They made you whole again.”
“And your heart started to bring life back into me,” Nie Mingjue says and presses kiss after kiss to Jiang Cheng’s head. “And once my body was all healed up, my soul left you to return to me.”
“You’re back,” Jiang Cheng whispers and he pulls away to take Nie Mingjue’s face into his hands. “You really came back to me,” he laughs out, too happy for words, but the tears are still flowing.
“I promised you that I will always come back to you. And what kind of husband would I be if I broke that promise?”
“I love you,” Jiang Cheng frantically says. “I love you, I love you, I love you and I missed you so much.”
“I missed you, too, my heart,” Nie Mingjue gives back and brings a hand up to encircle Jiang Cheng’s wrist, before he turns his head to press a kiss to Jiang Cheng’s hand. “And I love you. So much that not even death could keep me.”
Jiang Cheng laughs again, because Nie Mingjue used to say that before and Jiang Cheng never believed him.
He sees now how wrong he was.
“Never leave me again,” Jiang Cheng demands of him and Nie Mingjue raises an eyebrow.
“I was beheaded, torn apart and turned into a fierce corpse and yet I still came back to you. What makes you believe that I will ever leave you permanently?”
“Point taken,” Jiang Cheng says with a sob and kisses Nie Mingjue again. “Point so taken.”
“I’m back now, my heart, I’m back,” Nie Mingjue whispers and Jiang Cheng kisses the words right off his lips.
He doubts he will stop that any time soon, not when his miracle of a husband is right there again.