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When Shouta returned to the apartment after his patrol, he had actually expected to find Hizashi there, since to his knowledge he had had no other appointments today. But the apartment was empty and Hizashi's shoes and jacket were not where they usually were, which led Shouta to conclude that the blond was probably still on the road.
Actually, he and Hizashi had a date for movie night tonight, but Shouta used the time to take a shower and put on some comfortable clothes first. He was just coming out of the bathroom when his cell phone vibrated. A message from the blond.
"Hey Shou,
Sorry, but this is going to take a while. :(
Why don't you go ahead and pick a movie and I'll bring us some food.
I'll hurry up,
Zashi"
Shouta sighed and put some wet strands of hair out of his face. Usually the blond picked the movies, as Shouta usually didn't care what they were watching and often they didn't get to see the end of the movie at all. Shouta had to grin as he thought back to their last movie night together. It hadn't even lasted 30 minutes and they were more engaged with each other than with the movie.
The black-haired man rubbed his towel through his hair one last time, then threw it over the back of a chair and walked over to the shelf with the movies. Most of their movie collection was contributed by Hizashi, and Shouta had no overview. So he just grabbed the first cover he could find and pulled it up on the shelf. He grabbed an animated movie and immediately put it back. He didn't feel like watching a movie like that today.
Hizashi seemed to have had, or still be having, a stressful day, so Shouta thought a comedy would probably be a logical choice. He stroked his finger across the movie spines, looking for a comedy that he and Hizashi hadn't seen in a while. Finally, his choice fell on "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." He knew how much his blond boyfriend loved Monty Python and this movie was a classic.
As he pulled the movie cover off the shelf, he accidentally pulled out another Disc, which fell to the floor with a thud. It was a disc in a plain paper sleeve and Shouta bent down to pick it up. The sleeve was not labeled and the disc inside had not been written on either. Normally he was not inclined to curiosity, but this disc had aroused his interest. So he didn't ponder any longer and slid it into the Blu-Ray player. The menu was in English and very simple. Shouta's knowledge of English was no match for Hizashi's, but still good enough to understand that these were different music videos. With each track, the name "Yamada" appeared, which irritated Shouta, since to his knowledge the blond had never participated in music videos. Now Shouta's curiosity was fully piqued and he starts the first video.
A glowing city was visible from the bird's eye view. Shouta guessed it was New York, but wasn't sure. An electric guitar sounded loud and shrill and the image changed to a club full of people dancing wildly and exuberantly. Most of them were women in extremely skimpy clothing who knew how to use their feminine charms properly. Shouta left that cold. However, he was not left cold by the fact that his blond boyfriend, who had just appeared in the video, was getting very very close to one of these ladies. It was no secret that Hizashi was bisexual, which meant that he was also interested in women. Shouta swallowed the burgeoning jealousy. At that time they had not been a couple.
Hizashi wore tight blue jeans as well as a red muscle shirt, which showed off his strong arms very well. His hair was shorter than it was now and Shouta saw the beginnings of an undercut. He stopped the video when Hizashi's face came into focus. He estimated that the blond must have been around 20 when this video was made. At the time, he was in America and had studied English. But apparently it wasn't just that, Shouta thought and continued to force himself not to be jealous of the woman the blond was just getting up close and personal with. Why had he never told Shouta about this? The black-haired pressed „Play“ again. The music was loud and blaring, even if the beat was kept rather simple. Shouta guessed it was Heavy Metal and felt confirmed when he saw the band members at their instruments. They were all men, most with long hair and leather or denim clothing.
The scene panned back to Hizashi, who began to sing. His voice was clear and distinct, but at the same time powerful and loud. Shouta couldn't really follow the lyrics, but he guessed it was about partying, alcohol and women. The woman who had danced with Hizashi at the beginning of the video was now elegantly lolling on a pole. The black-haired man had to admit that she was quite attractive and put on a convincing show at the pole.
Suddenly, he heard the creak of the front door and stopped the video.
"Hey, babe. I'm really sorry. There was so much to do today at the radio station and then I was supposed to brief the new night shift too. BUT I brought food with me. Would you rather....." The blonde fell silent as he stepped into the apartment and saw the picture on the TV. Shouta didn't miss the slightly horrified look on his friend's face. His head wanted to ask what this music video was all about and why Hizashi had never said anything about it, but his mouth was quicker.
"Who is she?" he asked, pointing to the young woman at the pole. He knew how jealous he must sound. To his surprise, he got a straight answer.
"Her name is Skye. She's an American. We met at the university."
Shouta hadn't expected such an honest answer, so he huffed, "Were you guys together?"
The blonde looked at him in surprise at first before a dirty smile appeared on his face.
"Jealous, dearest?" he teased Shouta, who turned away with a bright red head. Hizashi laughed, but it sounded hearty. He sat down next to his boyfriend on the sofa and placed the food he had brought on the table.
"No, Shou. We were not a couple. Just very good friends with a shared love for music. Besides, Skye likes women and I, well, you know." He put his arm around the black-haired and pulled him in for a kiss.
Shouta felt reassured and returned the loving kiss.
"But what is this video, Zashi? I've never seen it before and you never told me you played music professionally in America."
The blonde sighed. "Well, that was the first real video from the band I was in. We did a total of six together and we were actually pretty successful."
"Why aren't you in that band anymore? Didn't you want this anymore?" inquired Shouta.
"Yes, I wanted to. It was always my big dream to make music and make a living out of it. I dreamed since I was a little kid that I could travel the world and bring my music to people everywhere. But....." He hesitated.
"But?" echoed Shouta.
"But for that dream, I would have had to stay in America. The contracts are very strict there and I wouldn't have been able to return to Japan for many years."
"But if that was your dream, then it would have been logical to stay there and make a career out of it."
Hizashi's cheeks turned red and he scratched the back of his head in embarrassment.
"Well, but then I wouldn't have seen you for many years either."
"We weren't even together then."
"That's true, but I knew even then that, well, I, uh, what I felt for you." The blond's face was by now drenched in a vibrant red.
Shouta was surprised, "Even then? We've only been together for six years, but you've been back in Japan for nine."
"I didn't say I already had the courage to confess my feelings to you. Only that I just already knew."
Shouta's head rattled and finally he realized, "You gave up your dream of a music career because of me? Without knowing if I even return your feelings?"
The blond nodded without hesitation and added, "I knew it was a risk, but it paid off." He smiled gently at Shouta, but Shouta still couldn't believe it.
"Why did you just give up on your dream like that? Is it my fault now that you can't live your dream?" The black-haired man's voice had grown louder and louder and his eyes grew moist. But Hizashi's gaze continued to be kind and he shook his head vigorously.
"You're not to blame for anything, darling."
"But I..." The blond gave Shouta a kiss, silencing him. When their lips parted again, Hizashi whispered in Shouta's ear, "I had an even bigger dream and it was you. I don't regret choosing you, even if it was uncertain at the time."
Shouta wiped a tear from the corner of his eye before pulling the blond back to him and planting a heartfelt kiss on him.
"I love you, you stupid idiot."
"I love you too, Shou."