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Herbert never had any real friends, let alone someone who believed in his goals and aspirations. It was almost a miracle when Dan agreed to help with his research. The man wanted to save people. He was passionate, caring, understanding, and far too forgiving. It didn’t matter if all their previous attempts failed, because each time they got closer to the answer. Every discarded limb, every body buried - simply necessary steps towards success.
Dan took every death too hard. He blamed himself as if he alone was able to prevent the thousands of deaths that came as the war raged on. He didn’t care if the bodies were useful for the work. He would spiral into a deeper state of guilt with each failed reanimation, needing Herbert to talk him out of it every time.
“This is no longer just about reanimating the dead. We will create new life!”
Perhaps if he hadn’t been rambling, they would have listened. They could have gotten away before the invading forces stormed the medical tent. Dan may not have been stabbed and they could have run together, rather than Herbert desperately dragging him to safety.
He never intended for anyone to get hurt, but it happened when one worked in such a field. Besides, Dan was going to be alright, and Herbert knew it. He kept steady pressure on the wound during the ride to the nearest hospital and refused to let anyone else help. It wasn’t a short ride and all the medical equipment had been left behind in the fire, so he cycled through whatever fabric he could find.
Dan was going to be fine, and he knew it, but the more blood that soaked through, the worse Herbert felt.
It wasn’t like him to worry about what happened to an assistant. But Dan wasn’t just an assistant. He was a friend. Herbert cared about him on an entirely different level. He didn’t enjoy admitting it to himself. There was little else he could concentrate on, though, with his hands pressed into Dan’s exposed torso.
Dan’s reasons for going to Peru hadn’t been the same as Herbert’s. Obviously. Dan wanted to help, to get more medical experience so he could save more lives. Herbert wanted the corpses. He wanted them so he could save them post-mortem. What happened before was none of his business. If they died, they died. He wanted to play god.
But he wasn't god. He wasn't invincible. All he could do to help Dan in the moment was hold still and slow the bleeding. He looked at Dan's face, shining with blood and sweat, eyes closed and lips slightly parted. He looked handsome, even in this state. The van hit a bump, jostling everyone inside and causing Dan's head to flop to the side with a groan. Herbert instinctively moved to put a hand under it, but quickly remembered he needed both hands on the wound.
By the time they reached the hospital, Herbert had created a small pile of blood-soaked rags beside him. Dan was rushed inside by paramedics and Herbert ran alongside them. He followed them all the way to surgery and tried to force his way into the operating room. Two nurses stopped him, holding him back by his shoulders. Of course they weren’t going to let him help. He was filthy, covered in Dan’s blood and debris from the forest.
They wanted him to leave, but he insisted on waiting in a hospital room. The nurse suggested he wash up and rest, as it was going to take some time for them to stitch up Dan. He found it difficult to sit still. His body was shaking, his blood bubbling. He hadn’t injected himself with reagent for nearly two days and the withdrawal was creeping up on him now that his adrenaline rush was subsiding.
Herbert’s hands trembled as he filled the syringe with the last of the reagent he had with him. It was barely enough to get him through the hospital trip. He struggled to land the needle where it needed to be, piercing the skin incorrectly a few times before properly pushing it through. The green liquid flowed through him, and he shuddered.
He felt better, but not great. The anxiety hadn’t completely left, stuck to his gut like a thick syrup. Maybe it was the grime. He never enjoyed being dirty, even though it came with the job. He had gone through countless white shirts over the years, all bloodstained beyond salvage. It was a small price to pay for what he had accomplished. He went to the bathroom to wash his face and change into a shirt that wasn’t soaked with bodily fluids. Staring at himself in the mirror, he realized how lucky he was. Not just for being alive and unscathed, but for having someone like Dan with him.
The dirt and sweat were easily washed away. It was the fear that lingered.
What if he leaves?
The thought had occurred before. Dan leaving was always a variable he had to consider to some degree. Before, there had been a reason. But with her out of the way, there didn’t seem to be anything stopping them from their research. Soon, they would return to Arkham. Once there, Dan might easily choose to live alone and put everything behind him. After almost dying so many times, Herbert would not be surprised if Dan was sick of it all. Sick of him.
Herbert couldn’t lose him. Not this late in the game. Not when they were so close. He hadn’t ever expected to care so much, to the degree that his stomach was churning as he worried about the state of his partner. His friend.
Dan was going to be fine. The hard part would be convincing him to put himself at risk again.
Sometime later, the doctors wheeled Dan into the room and moved him to a bed to rest. They told Herbert he had also suffered a concussion and suggested that once Dan woke up, he kept him awake until they checked on him again. Then Herbert was alone with a sleeping man, stitched, bandaged, and bruised, but alive.
He pulled a chair up to the bed and sat beside him. It felt like wasting time to sit and wait for Dan to wake up, but what else could he do? He rested his head in his hand and looked over the other doctor’s handiwork. The bandages seemed sound. No leaking. Dan’s face and chest had been washed and sterilized before surgery, but the rest of him was grungy. It was unpleasant, but all things considered, he seemed alright.
While he waited, Herbert contemplated what he was going to say to get Dan to stay with him and help him finish the work. They were both stubborn people, but he could always play to Dan’s ego. Make him feel important, like he was the savior of the universe. It wasn’t even lying; Herbert believed himself to be a savior, so Dan was one by extension. What was harder to admit to himself was that he needed Dan for more reasons than the medical assistance. Caring about someone was a foreign feeling. A feeling he did not want to interfere with his work. But it had become undeniable: he considered Dan to be more than a work colleague, even if he refused to show any indication of such a thing. It didn’t matter, not if he couldn’t do his experiments and prove himself to the universe.
When Dan awoke, he let out a deep groan, startling Herbert from his thoughts. His eyes flickered open, and he rolled his head to the side, looking at the man who was watching over him.
“Herbert?” he mumbled, reaching up to rub the sleep from his eyes.
Herbert’s lip briefly twitched into a smile. “Good evening, Dan.”
“What… what happened?” Dan started to sit upright and look around. “Is everyone alright? Is Franchesca-”
“Everything is fine,” Herbert said, stopping Dan from moving too quickly. He gently pushed him down. “You have ten stitches and a concussion. Be careful.”
Dan relaxed into the bed. He took a deep breath. “So she’s ok?”
“Yes,” Herbert said, despite not knowing if that was the case. “We have much more important things to discuss. Hopefully your recovery time here will be brief, and we will be able to return within a day or two. And when we do, we will need a plan.”
“A plan,” Dan repeated dryly.
“Going back to our jobs. Finding somewhere to live. Surely we’ll be able to get a place with a spacious basement and we can continue the work. You and I, working together to cure death. Like before.”
The expression on Dan’s face shifted from disinterest to anger. “Like before? You mean like when your experiments killed Meg?”
“It’ll be different. We can be more careful. No one will get hurt.”
“I don’t know, Herbert. How can you possibly be so sure?”
“We have the key, this time, Dan, the solution.” He reached down to pat the bag with the iguana in it. “It will work, and I’ll prove it to you as soon as we return.”
Dan turned his head away and closed his eyes. Herbert stared at him expectantly.
“It isn’t good to fall asleep with a concussion, you know.”
“I’m thinking, Herbert.”
“Well, don’t strain yourself.”
Dan glared at him.
“Because of the concussion.”
They fell silent. Herbert wasn’t uncomfortable with silence, but he once again began to wonder if this was it. He would have to find a new partner, a new friend. Someone else who believed in the cause. Perhaps he might even have to leave Arkham, where all his original work was trapped in an evidence locker. The thought nauseated him.
Finally, Dan spoke. “I just don’t know if I can keep doing this. What are we even trying to prove?”
Herbert’s eyes lit up at the opportunity to persuade his companion. “We are trying to prove that death isn’t the end. In fact, it is just the beginning. From death, we can create new life. It’s so much more than bringing someone back. A new consciousness can be made, Dan. And you can help me do it.”
Dan looked contemplative, but skeptical. He ran a hand through his greasy, unkempt hair. “Why me? Why can’t you find someone else?”
Herbert would never admit it, but the question stung. He answered objectively. “You are an incredibly skilled doctor, you already know how it works, and you believe in the cause. I know you do. You would have given up long ago if you didn’t think we could accomplish anything. And just consider how much we have accomplished!”
“People died, Herbert. People keep dying. It doesn’t feel like we’re getting anywhere.”
“But we are. I found something while we were here, this trip was not for nothing. When we get back, I will show you. I promise you, Dan, we are closer than ever before.”
Dan exhaled heavily, looking directly into Herbert’s eyes. Herbert stared back, trying to convey his sincerity in his expression. He truly believed what he was saying, though he was aware the timeline for perfecting the reagent was far from set in stone. He hoped Dan believed in him too.
“You really think it will work this time?”
“I know it will.”
“And you think I’m the best one to help?”
“It needs to be you, Daniel,” Herbert said without hesitation. He meant it.
“Alright. Alright, I can do it.” It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
“You won’t regret it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
A wave of relief washed over Herbert, and he relaxed into the chair. He was confident that this time, nothing was going to stop him. He knew what he would be able to achieve, and he knew Dan would stay by his side for it. They were going to build something completely new, together.