Chapter Text
May 2018
Baekhyun woke up, his chest booming in loud beats of his heart, heaving deep breaths, sweat all over his body. It's the same dream again. Lately, he's having the same dream, well, not really the same because it has different scenarios but he's seeing the same man in that dream. A man who's unfamiliar to him. He was pretty and had a cat-like smile. His eyes crinkled into a thin line whenever he smiles. He's got really long and beautiful lashes. It has been months since he started dreaming of that man dressed in a traditional hanbok. He's sure that he's never seen that face before, that's why it feels really weird to dream of someone he didn't know of. He wants to know why he's appearing in his dreams on a daily basis. It feels like he's watching a movie inside his dream, a movie without sound, but it was so vivid, the scenes, it almost feels real. What's even more weird is whenever he sees that man in his deep slumber, he feels so familiar yet unfamiliar? It's like he knows this man in his dreams.
Ah! He thinks he's gonna go crazy because of those weird things going on in his sleep.
Does he need to see a shrink?
He thinks his dream is trying to tell him something, something that he isn't sure what. It feels like it's telling him some kind of story but in different scenes, so he can't actually understand what's going on.
He looked at the clock and saw that it's already 7:30am. He needs to go to work by 9, so he started getting ready. After a few minutes, he went out of his room and he saw his best friend slash roommate Park Chanyeol at the dining table sipping his morning coffee.
"Good morning." he greeted as he prepared his own coffee.
"Morning, how is it? Did you dream of the guy again?" Chanyeol asked.
"Yeah, but it's still ambiguous. I still can't decipher what that dream means or what it was trying to tell me. Actually I'm getting used to it by now. I just hate it whenever I wake up trying to catch my breath. It always ends the same though, it's always him saying goodbye to me while crying and I don't understand why everytime it comes to that part, I feel like it's breaking my heart? You know I feel something like the pain of losing someone I loved?" Baekhyun tried to explain.
Chanyeol is the only person who knows about his weird dreams. He told him about it because he's afraid that it might drive him mad if he kept it to himself.
"What if you undergo hypnotherapy?” Chanyeol suggested. “You know, that one you see in movies where the psych puts you in deep sleep and makes you narrate what you see? Maybe it could help you solve that weird dream of yours? I can talk to my friend Junmyeon to have an appointment with you."
"I don't know Yeollie, I am not even sure if I wanted to know the whole story of that dream because it seems so heartbreaking?"
"You said, the man was wearing a traditional hanbok? Was he talking to you?"
"I don't know. He's talking, laughing and smiling but it has no sound at all. Although I feel like I am the one he's talking to. His mouth is opening like he's telling something to me but I can't hear him and then suddenly, it would escalate to the scene where he's crying and saying goodbye."
"Do you see yourself in your dream?"
"No, it's like from a first person point of view. I feel like I am with him and that he's a very important person to me in that dream."
"Maybe you're dreaming of your past life? Maybe he's your lover, or something in your past life."
"That's absurd. Is past life even true? I'm actually thinking that my brain just made up a story because of the many dramas I've watched in my entire life."
"Yeah, that too. But Baek, don't you want to try and go have a session with a hypnotherapist? You know, to finally end your curiosity? Maybe it could help you solve that long series of mysterious dreams of yours."
"No, and my schedule won't permit me to do so either. I have so many deadlines to beat, my clients are demanding as fuck."
"Fine, but before you say no, can you at least think about it first?. There's nothing wrong with trying."
"Okay, fine. I'll consider it, but I still need to find time to do it."
Baekhyun sighed and tried to erase the thoughts of that dream in his mind. He needed to focus and finish the draft of the design that he needs to show his demanding client by Friday. It's already Wednesday and he's only halfway finished with the design.
He's an architect and he works in one of the most sought-after architectural firms in their city, which is the reason why all of his clients are demanding and exhausting. He actually considered resigning from the firm for almost a year now but it pays really well and that's what's making him think twice. He earns almost twice as much as a regular architect in a small firm, so the opportunity will be wasted if he's going to leave.
Days passed and nothing changed. The pretty guy still appears in his dreams and he's not getting any proper sleep now because of the lost feeling in his heart whenever his dream comes to an end.
That's it.
His eyebags are growing and he didn't want this to bother him anymore. He's going to take Chanyeol's advice. Maybe he really needs to go to a psychiatrist and solve the mystery of his dreams. He pulled all his hair out and screamed because of too much frustration. The emptiness he feels right now is just unbearable without knowing the reason behind all of it. He didn't want to believe that he's going crazy but he might, if he won't do any action to solve these mysterious dreams of his.
"Baek! Why are you screaming? Are you alright?" Chanyeol asked, worried about his friend.
"Y-yeah, just frustrated? I don't know, Yeol I think I'm going crazy."
"It's that guy from your dream again? Baek, I'm not saying you're crazy but I think you really need help from a professional. It's affecting your mental health. I'm starting to get worried to be honest."
"I know, I think so too. Yeol, do you think you can book me an early appointment with your friend Junmyeon?" Junmyeon is Chanyeol's friend from high school, he is a registered psychiatrist and good one.
"Yeah, sure I'll see what I can do. I'll text him but for now, try and get some proper sleep okay?" Chanyeol reassured, and Baekhyun nodded.
That morning, he called in sick at work because he can't work properly when he's groggy and lacks sleep. He was preparing his coffee when he received a text from Chanyeol.
From: Yeollie ^^
Hey, Junmyeon replied, he can reserve you a spot later, 2pm, r u free?
Baekhyun sighed. Yes he's going to do it.
To: Yeollie ^^
Yeah, I didn't go to work, I feel weak. Thanks Yeollie, you're the best. I'll drop by his clinic later.
He looked at the digital clock and it's only 9:30am. He still has lots of time before his appointment with Junmyeon. He started thinking about the guy in his dreams, he's cute but he looks like he's living in the past. He looks so happy talking to him but he couldn't understand a single word because it has no sound at all.
Is he even real? What does he want to tell him? Why him? He's just a simple guy who makes a living with his talent in designing and drawing, but of all people why him? What is his connection with that guy? Why does he feel empty whenever the guy would cry and bid him goodbye?
He doesn’t even know what happened after that. He just cried and held his hand and then he’ll wake up sweaty and nervous and empty. It’s always like that every night and he wants to end it already. He just hopes Junmyeon will be able to help him put his misery to an end. He wanted to know this guy and why he felt so attached to him when he didn’t even know him. The guy is pretty, that’s for sure. He doesn’t look like a nightmare at all, but he wanted to know the reason behind all of it, and he wanted to know if he was just a pigment of his imagination.
--
He arrived an hour early at Junmyeon’s clinic. It was in a hospital nearby their firm. He registered his name at the front desk and the receptionist confirmed his appointment at 2pm. He was led into the waiting room and the receptionist said that Junmyeon would just call him if he’s done with his current patient. He looked around the clinic when he saw a familiar face walked along the hallways of the hospital. He was dressed in a scrub suit and was sipping a cup of coffee. He tried remembering where he saw that guy and he cursed under his breath when he remembered that it was him .
It’s the guy in his dreams.
Oh God! He’s much prettier in person. So does that mean that he’s real? He’s a real person and is about the same age as him?
He stood up and tried to run after the guy but he lost him when the guy turned right and he was stopped by a stretcher going to the emergency ward and the running doctors trying to revive a bloody patient.
He sighed in defeat and just returned back to his seat in the waiting room. He wanted to know who he was. Maybe he’ll just ask Junmyeon later. He wanted to know who he was, and maybe he had the answers to his questions. He let time pass by playing a game on his phone. A few minutes later, Junmyeon showed up and called him. Baekhyun entered Junmyeon’s office and inside there’s a long couch and some tools used in hypnotherapy.
“Hi Baekhyun.” Junmyeon greeted him as soon as they both took their seats.
“Hi, Junmyeon. It’s been a long time since I've seen you.”
“Yeah, it’s like two, three years. How are you doing Baekhyun?” Junmyeon asked in a friendly tone.
“I’m fine. I’m doing good except for the dreams occurring to me every night.”
“Yeah, actually Chanyeol already gave me some overview of the details about your situation. Do you want to start with the procedure now?”
“Wait, I have a question first.”
“Ask away.”
“Uhm, I saw a man in a scrub suit outside while waiting for my turn. He looked very much like the person appearing in my dreams. Do you happen to know him?”
“Baekhyun, I’m afraid, I may need more details than that. All of the nurses and some intern physicians here are wearing scrub suits. This is a hospital.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry. I just caught a glimpse of him but he very much looks like the guy in my dreams.”
“I see, can you describe him? Maybe I know him?”
“He’s about my height and age, cute face with high cheekbones and cat-like smile?” Baekhyun described.
“Uhh, sorry but I don’t know anyone who looks like that working here. Maybe he’s an intern or a nurse from another department.”
Baekhyun nodded, understanding the situation. This hospital’s hella big, it’s impossible for Junmyeon to know each employee here.
“So, shall we get to business now?”
“Okay.”
“Okay, so, you’ve been bothered by a series of dreams that involves a man you didn’t know?”
“Yes.”
“Can you elaborate more about it?”
“I actually do not know how to elaborate,” Baekhyun pauses as he recalls his dreams. “The dreams were silent and it consists of different scenarios and places that are unfamiliar to me, but I’m sure it took place from a very long time ago. Chanyeol actually said that it might be something about my past life but I refuse to believe it. Are reincarnations even real? I would like to believe that it was more about my imagination rather than that.” Baekhyun explained.
“Okay, I am going to perform a procedure on you. It is called hypnotherapy. It is a procedure wherein I will put you in a deep sleep state but you’re still very much aware of your surroundings. I want you to focus on thinking about the scenarios appearing in your dreams as I put you to sleep and you’ll tell me everything you see. Is that okay?” Junmyeon explained.
“Wait, is that procedure safe?”
“Don’t worry, I won’t harm you Baekhyun, my license will get revoked, if ever that happens. I want you to trust me and relax your mind and don’t think of anything but that dream. Do we agree now?”
“Okay. Let’s do it.”
“Good. Now, please lie down on that couch and relax. Tell me if you’re ready.”
“Wait, how long would it take?” Baekhyun asked.
“Depends, don’t worry, you’re my last patient for the day, we can take as much time as you need.”
“Okay.” Baekhyun agreed and proceeded lying down on the long couch in the corner of Junmyeon’s office.
Junmyeon brought a tool and put it on the bedside table while he sat on the chair beside Baekhyun’s bed.
“Are you ready Baekhyun?”
Baekhyun took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes. I’m ready.”
“Now, this tool is called a metronome pendulum. I want you to focus on its sound and my voice while thinking of your dream. It will help to put you in your most relaxed state. That step is called hypnotic induction. Close your eyes Baekhyun and listen to the only sound you are hearing and my voice.”
Baekhyun did as he was told. He felt himself relax and his heartbeat calm down. He thought of the dream that has been bothering him for a few months now.
“You are now reaching your hypnotic state. I want you to tell me everything you see once you hear the flick of my fingers in three… two… one…”
And Baekhyun was brought back to his dream, this time it’s more vivid and it already has sounds. He’s now inside his own dream.