Work Text:
What the students have come to dub as Ashen Army — because the Ashen Demon's Army did not sound right, no matter how they tried to spin it, and Ashen Wolves Army also seemed tasteless considering they had an actual werewolf with them — was going well. Lessons were well underway and the students were picking them up faster than they ever could have under formal instruction.
"It helps that we don't have essays to write," Caspar once supplied.
And it was, if Byleth could say so herself, fun.
And well, they did say it was all fun and games until someone gets knocked out by a jinx.
Bernadetta was still just getting the hang of aiming her offensive charms at her opponents instead of herself or the bystanders around her, but Byleth so it fit to focus on something defensive today.
The newfound knowledge that even the fifth years at Hogwarts didn't know how to properly cast a shielding spell did not sit right with her, especially when this had been one of the first few she learned on the road with her father. So she'd gathered everyone for a session, the Room of Requirement doing its job before Byleth could even envision what she needed it to look like today, and soon, everyone was paired up, wands at the ready and screams of 'Protego!' echoing in the hall.
"Right," Bernadetta mumbled to herself as Byleth made her rounds. "Raise, arms out, flick. Simple."
Byleth made to approach her, about to tell her to keep her hand in front of her, when —
"Protego!" Bernadetta squeaked out just as Ignatz prepared his tickling hex.
Of course, Byleth hadn't gotten to her in time. Bernadetta's arms were indeed out, to her sides, and she'd flicked her wrist down and outward, so her shield — quite a good one, which Byleth objectively appreciated — shot outwards and right into her, sending her flying.
The incantations were replaced with gasps, silence, and the crushing sound of a table against the wall as Byleth slammed backwards into it.
Silence lingered for a few more moments, everyone holding their breaths, waiting for their instructor to get up, laugh, and perhaps call it a day.
"My teacher," Edelgard called out before she could think about it, think about what her peers would think, and ran to her. Shock fading from everyone else, they all followed and crowded around the two. Byleth was naturally pale, despite the hours she spent flying on the pitch or running on the grounds, or looking after the school's creatures with Alois, so no one could tell if her stillness was normal or cause for concern.
Definitely cause for concern was Edelgard's assessment when she put her hand to Byleth's chest and felt no movement, no telltale beating of a pulse beneath her skin.
"No," she muttered to herself.
No because now was the worst time possible for something like this to happen. Would they even be able to ask for help, now when Aelfric was in charge of the Infirmary and Cornelia had plaques all across the school walls outright prohibiting their gatherings.
No because her last conversation with Byleth hadn't gone so well, and she was hoping to speak to her after this session. No because Byleth still thinks she's just doing this for House Honor, for Goddess' sake, and because Byleth can't just d — Edelgard didn't even want to consider it.
She was desperate. Surely Byleth would forgive her. She did not mind the thought having SNEAK spelled out across her face forever if it meant they could save Byleth in time by telling —
"— to try to call for help but I forgot that only you or Byleth can open the doors, I'm so sorry!" Bernadetta had been crying out from somewhere behind them, Edelgard just noticed. "Can you…? And who can we…? Maybe I can send an owl to Manuela —"
Edelgard turned at that, about to chime in, when she felt the movement. Her eyes popped and her head turned so suddenly, hoping against all hope that she hadn't imagined it.
"No need for that," Byleth mumbled almost incoherently.
A wave of sighs could be heard across the crowd gathered around them, and Bernadetta finally collapsed onto the ground in tears. Byleth looked up to see Edelgard still gaping at her — Edelgard, whose hand was still on her chest.
Her chest, which still had no heartbeat, yet here Byleth was, pushing herself up into a sitting position, alive with a hint of a smile in her eyes as she stared right back.
"El…" she whispered, one hand braced on the ground, the other below hers on her chest, fingers ghosting the edges of her palm.
Edelgard pulled away slowly, fingers curling into fists to stop herself from reaching back out. She gripped her hand in her other to hide her shaking as she backed away, still stunned and confused.
Her space was immediately taken up by Bernadetta, understandably more apologetic than usual. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have — I'm not — Byleth, I'm so sorry!"
Byleth tried for a small smile, making an effort to hide the grimace of pain on her face. "Bernie, it's okay. I'm okay, I swear." Byleth began to stand slowly then, and Ferdinand stepped up to help. "I may need some charms, which, now that I think about it, we could go over next, but I'll be fine."
Bernadetta was of course not easily reassured, so with a breath, Byleth held her by the shoulders and tried to shake her steady. "Bernadetta. This is the point of all this, isn't it? Practice and learn and find out the risks and possible mistakes so you don't repeat them outside. That's exactly what happened here, okay?" Bernadetta's cries turned to sniffles and a nod, prompting Byleth to give a small smile. "And it was a pretty good shield, okay? Just… remember it's meant for defense, not offense, and you'll be fine."
She took another deep breath, patted Ferdinand once and announced the end of today's session. "We can go over this again on our next session, but feel free to practice as discreetly as you can. I recommend practicing shielding small objects, try to go smaller and bigger to get a sense of what sizes you're able to make the shield, and anyone having a hard time can bring it up next time. You'll hear from us when it's time."
The Room opened the door at Byleth's prompting then, and the students began filing out, most sending Byleth well wishes as they walked past and Byleth merely nodding in acknowledgment.
And soon it was just Byleth and Edelgard in the room.
Sighing, Byleth took off her robe and sank into an armchair, wand already on hand to start casting spells over her aching muscles. With a wry smile, she looked up at her companion and broke the silence, "Any chance I can ask you to brew me a potion when you have the time?"
Edelgard considered not answering. Maybe she was better off just walking out of here, pretending that nothing happened, that she didn't care, or that she believed that Byleth was just fine and that she'd imagined the whole thing.
But she couldn't.
"Byleth," was all she could say.
"Edelgard?" But of course, Byleth was going to play coy.
"What was that?"
"That was… I would say a failed session, Edelgard. I guess it couldn't be perfect all the time —"
"By!"
"El." The intensity of Byleth's stare at least spoke to her in a way. If she was going to get answers, she was going to have to ask the right questions.
"How… how are you alive?"
"Would you rather I not be?" and Edelgard couldn't believe the usually stoic girl's audacity to joke at a time like this. "Edelgard, I highly doubt a misfired Shielding charm could have killed me."
"A blow to the head could have. Or, I don't know, the fact that your heart — Byleth… are you aware that your heart —"
"Doesn't beat? Of course I am." Byleth paused, momentarily returning to tending to her injury, wincing when she noticed for the first time a couple of gashes on her arm. "But no, I don't know why. As much as I'd like to give you the answers that you obviously seek... I myself am still seeking."
Edelgard was truly at a loss for words. She had so many questions, yet she didn't know how to voice them, didn't know how to say they can't just leave it at that and go about their days pretending like she didn't just find out that Byleth's heart didn't beat.
"El," Byleth began as she stood from her seat and approached her. "Do stop staring at my boobs," Byleth said, a teasing tilt to her tone.
Edelgard couldn't stop the blush if she tried. "I'm not! I was — that…"
With a smile, she reached for Edelgard's hand and slowly placed it back over her unmoving chest. Staring at their joined hands, Byleth whispered, "You're the first to know my heart like this."
She meant it in more ways than one.
Byleth watched as Edelgard began to intertwine their fingers, before shifting their hands so that they're pulling away from her chest and towards hers.
"This is what it's supposed to feel like, By," Edelgard began, a shakiness to her voice that hadn't been there earlier.
Byleth gave a small smile, eyes intent on their joined hands over her chest. Edelgard's heartbeat was erratic — fast then slow, strong then weak, but beating nonetheless, pulses pushing against her chest that Byleth could feel beneath her hand.
"I was so scared, my teacher," she whispered, her reverence for the girl slipping into her voice. "I didn't understand what it was to feel so strongly before, but when I thought you were…" Edelgard trailed off then, fighting off the tight feeling in her throat.
"I know," Byleth replied, not needing to hear the rest, before she closed her eyes and savored the feeling of Edelgard sharing her heart with her.
"The first, only, and last heartbeat I've felt before now was my father's," she spoke suddenly, voice still low so as not to disturb there little bubble of peace. "The first time was when I was tending to his wounds…" Byleth's eyes had opened now, taking on a distant look, remembering a very different life, and a smile formed unbidden on her lips. "He went after this Manticore. It was so stupid."
Edelgard giggled, finding it hard to imagine the man whom she'd only seen in portraits as the one Byleth saw him as that day.
"That was the day he explained to me that… that I was different. After that, sometimes, I would sit next to him, and he'd open up his arms knowing what I wanted, and I would sit so close to him I would feel his heartbeat. Sometimes I even went for a hug." Both smiled then.
After a beat, Byleth continued, telling Edelgard something she would not forget anytime soon. "The last time was when he was dying in my arms." Byleth closed her eyes again, if only to avoid looking into Edelgard's sad eyes. "When it stopped, I'd hoped he was like me. That he would survive without it." Byleth's hand began to absentmindedly find its way to Edelgard's shoulder, her neck, her jaw, just as Edelgard's moved to Byleth's arm, squeezing, comforting. "I was wrong."
"Well…" Edelgard murmured after a short while, releasing a shaky breath, hesitating. "I'm glad you're alive," she said, caressing the hint of Byleth's exposed collarbone, taking note of a small scar leading further down, hidden under her clothes.
They stayed there for a moment, relishing their relative peace, choosing to ignore, even for a few fleeting minutes, that the world around them was changing, that their lives might just have to change a little bit more if they were going to survive this. But for now, here they were, just Edelgard and Byleth, two Slytherin students at Hogwarts enjoying each other's company after teaching their schoolmates some spells for their secret club. Completely normal.
Completely satisfied.
Completely and utterly enamored, Byleth thought as she leaned in slowly, letting their noses bump into each other, feeling Edelgard raise slightly to her tiptoes…
"Hey, By, look!" called out a voice that could only belong to Leonie. With a sigh, Byleth pulled away, Edelgard jumping a foot away as if she was electrified and Byleth could only chuckle. "I managed to shield Lorenzo! Come on, boy," Leonie added as she turned the corner, her cat trailing behind her with a shield around her — round and solid, albeit wavering slightly with the movement.
"Nice job, Leonie," she responded, with Edelgard repeating in a lower, much less enthusiastic voice. "I don't really recommend practicing on… other living beings, though? I don't really want to imagine what you'll find if you put up a shield and they… move at the wrong time."
"Oh. Shit. I didn't think of that."
The two continued to discuss the technicalities of the spell as they made their way back to the Grand Staircase. Though Edelgard chimed in where she can, she stayed mostly silent, still stewing about what had almost happened in the Room of Requirement.
She remained silent even as they reached their dormitory and separated into their own rooms, Byleth giving Edelgard's hand a squeeze before they parted ways that she could barely return in her distraction.
You're the first to know my heart like this.
Edelgard didn't know if there was a cure out there, or if Byleth needed or wanted it, or if changing this about Byleth would change everything.
But Edelgard knew that being armed with this knowledge meant two things:
She would be damned if she didn't try to look for a cure anyway.
And she would damn well try her hardest to know Byleth's heart just a little bit more.