Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

If I called today a whirlwind, it would be an insult to cyclones everywhere. Calling it hurricane might be more appropriate, but I’d always thought they’d be a little more wet. Still, I can’t think of any better metaphor for these past few hours.

The day turned out fine enough. Same old nerves as always, but that sort of electricity is half the joy of premieres. After all, even if you know a movie’s good, you don't know if it'll be a smash until it’s been paraded in front of the public. Even if it’s the next in a long line of releases with Hollywood’s Golden Couple.

Let me tell you; I like the gold part of that metaphor a lot. I like the couple part far less.

I still thank God nightly for Cosmo. Getting ready would be such a hassle without someone to make sure the backs are all straight and everything is in place, especially on those days when the public eye is going to be staring right at me. It’s a shame we still can’t travel together, though. Seems a waste to bring two limos to one address, and even worse that it means I have to travel with Lina.

But R. F. does have something right: the public knows what they want. Even if that means waiting half an hour in an idling car while she fixes her makeup, and having her fawn all over me the entire way to the theatre. To see the smiling faces on all those adoring fans, well. I’d probably be lying if I stated that it makes it all worthwhile, but it sure does roll in the dough at the end of the night.

Sure is nice being able to afford a lifestyle, I’ll say that much.

Suffice to say, The Royal Rascal’s going to be another smash after all. The gents cheered and the ladies cried, and a small part of me still wants to strangle Dora for giving the public imagination one more reason to think that me and Lina are going to tie the knot.

And that’s all just how the night began!

If only that were where it ended, I could wake up with my life and go on as though the world were my oyster. But I’m afraid there’s changes on the horizon, the likes of which just might shake everything I know to the core.

First, there’s that movie shown at the gala. A talking picture, they called it. It was a fascinating novelty, I’ll say that much. R. F. doesn’t think it’ll amount to anything. Cosmo seems to think it’s going to take the world by storm. As for me, well, like I already stated, it's a novelty. And novelties have a habit of getting blown way out of proportion. It might be big for a few years and then die back down into nothing. But then, the same can be said of the whole moving picture industry itself, and, fingers crossed, we'll still be going strong for a while yet.

Best thing we can do, I think, is wait and see how The Jazz Singer does. Maybe it’ll die quietly, and that will be that. And if not…

Well, I suppose I’d better start practicing my radio voice, just in case.

And then there’s that girl.

Yes, a girl.

She rescued me, put on this whole high and mighty act about being a true patron of the arts, jumped out of a cake, and threw a pie in Lina’s face.

I think I might love her.

Cosmo is already starting to tease me about it (surprise surprise).

I don’t know how long she’s been in Hollywood, but I ran into her twice within the span of a few hours. If that luck continues, then maybe I’ll actually get a proper conversation with her sometime soon.

If not, well, we’ll see how I feel in the morning.

For now, I think nothing would suit better than a stiff drink, one last evening tango with Cosmo, and then a good night’s sleep.

Tomorrow, more fencing lessons and an interview with the Daily Tribunal. The Duelling Cavalier will be in production before we know it; I best be as well-prepared as I can by then.

Until next time,
DL

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XX XX, 19XX

Well, there’s good news and bad news, I suppose, all of which can be summed up by the following:

The Jazz Singer appears to be a roaring success. Biggest smash Paramount has ever had, and perhaps the biggest hit of any movie made to date.

What that means for Monumental remains to be seen for sure, but in the short term, it means no cameras are rolling until we get our own sound department installed.

On one hand, this is a fascinating time to be involved in the movies. We’re pioneering new technology, and risking a chance to be part of the next big thing! On the other… if I paid a nickel for the honour of listening to Lina talk, I’d be asking for a dime on my way out.

They’re hiring elocution coaches for all of us. Gonna teach us all how to talk all proper-like. I’ve been practicing on my own, of course, but it’ll be good to get the last few tips from an expert. After all, the gossip rags always like to say that I don’t know what to do with my R’s.

Who knows? Maybe a little coaching is all Lina needs. Though of course, it could be that some people’s diction is incurable.

And what happens then?

I’d like to think there’s room for a Lockwood without a Lamont, I really would. After all, Lina had other co-stars before I came along. She was a household name while I was still hoofing it in concert halls all up and down the west coast. Who’s to say I can’t have another leading lady as well?

Of course, I’ve not had any luck yet, tracking down the one I want most of all.

That’s Hollywood, I guess. One day, a girl is everywhere. The next? Poof. Gone without a trace.

Maybe she went back home to wherever “back home” is for her. God knows we get people coming here from all over these days.

But maybe, just maybe, she’s just out of reach, right under my nose.

(Cosmo would say that line sounds like a sneeze waiting to happen. He’s probably right.)

Cosmo’s been invaluable in the search. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. Doesn’t even seem to mind that I’ve got my eye on her when he’s been right there the entire time, even if he does bat his eyelashes and ask why I’m wanting to sow the field when there’s a pretty girl already right there beside me. (And then, of course, I point out that he’d have better luck pulling off that line in nylons and heels. Not quite sure what I’ll do if he ever decides to take me up on that, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.)

Tonight, it’s an hour of tongue twisters, which I’ll be drilled on tomorrow.

And in a fortnight, well, perhaps we’ll be able to start filming again, and making our way into the talkie business.

The fans will get anxious if they have to wait too long for the next Lockwood and Lamont picture, after all. I’d hate to have them forget our names and faces in the meantime.

Until next time,
DL

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

Well, I found her.

Cosmo demands I say that I was a sneeze away, just as I said last time.

Cosmo, of course, is a nosy good-for-nothing who needs to stop snooping in other people’s private journals.

I should likely back up here and explain Paramount’s new musical picture department.

You see, somewhere along the line, someone realized that the “Jazz Singer” part of The Jazz Singer was part of the appeal. Big musical numbers means beautiful girls singing and dancing. Add film technology, and you can get shots that look like they came straight out of a kaleidoscope, all made out of living, breathing dances.

It’s a world I never imagined I’d find in Hollywood. Broadway, perhaps, or the music halls, but this is something a little different from either of those. What’s possible on film goes above and beyond what they could ever dream of. And as a song and dance man myself, I can’t help but be excited.

There’s potential there, and I’m one phone call away from the action, whenever R. F. decides to give me a shot. Assuming that there’s any hope for me beyond Lockwood and Lamont, at any rate.

Filming with Lina’s even more of a disaster than usual when sound’s involved, but that’s a story for another day.

Today, I’m here to talk about those beautiful singing and dancing girls in their matching costumes, making beautiful shapes no matter which way the camera’s pointed.

Or, well, I suppose I’m actually here to talk about one of those beautiful girls in particular.

R. F. actually spotted her before I did. Said she had potential. Rumour has it, she just might end up being Zelda’s kid sister sometime soon.

And boy, was I shocked when I saw which girl he was pointing out.

Her name is Kathy. Kathy Seleden. And while this may not be the New York stage of her dreams, well, boy am I glad she ended up on our soundstage instead.

She apologized for being obstinate, I apologized for being a hot-head, and I showed her around the backlot, and introduced her to the wonders of a soundstage.

Perhaps the movie version of a windswept hill is an odd location for a first date, but it sure works for me.

Cosmo says I need to bring her home next time, so she can meet the family. And by "the family," of course, he means himself.

She better like Cosmo.

On one hand, I find it hard to imagine that anyone couldn’t love Cosmo. He’s got the most encouraging, loving soul a guy could ask for, and it’s been the joy of my life having him at my side through all the thick and thin.

On the other, if she doesn’t, then I’d have to choose. And I don’t think I could give him up for anything.

We’ll see what happens, I suppose. At worst, all my searching will have been in vain. And at best… Well, we’ll just see how things go from here.

Until next time,
DL

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

Well, I’m happy to report that Kathy fits in here like an old sock. (Or a sneeze in a tissue, because Cosmo apparently refuses to let old metaphors die in peace, no matter how deserving they are of that death.)

Her first visit was a little nerve-wracking, but she was laughing around with us like we were old pals in no time.

I haven’t fully explained what’s going on here yet, but it’s better if she’s friends with both of us first. That way, Cosmo has time to make up his mind, and then Kathy can make hers up too.

I’d say I need to make my mind up three, but that’s already a foregone conclusion. If Cosmo will have her, I’ll gladly ask Kathy. If Kathy will take us, then she’ll be ours. Or at least mine. I’m not entirely sure if Cosmo would appreciate such direct feminine wiles, or if he'd prefer solid friendship and partnership with less of the… direct application.

Ah well, there’s time to fix the details as we figure things out. For now… friendship and sowing the field. If things are fruitful, then we can harvest. If not, we can pull out the seedlings and start again on more fertile ground, once we find something that might suit us more. Either way, it’s a guessing game.

Speaking of guessing games, I’m pretty sure old Dex is being driven insane by the thought of getting Lina to be intelligible, let alone beautiful sounding on film.

I stand by every comment I’ve ever made about her voice being incurable.

On one hand it might be a boon if no-one can hear her. There’s a reason I speak for both of us at premieres, after all.

On the other, it can’t really be a talkie if the people don’t talk. And therein lies the dilemma.

We’ll have to see how previews go, I suppose. With any luck, it’ll just be one more feather in our cap.

But with Lina’s voice as my co-star in a film where people can hear her… I don’t want to count too many of my eggs before they hatch.

Until next time,
DL

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

I feel like nothing today so much as a phoenix.

Yesterday felt like certain death: The Duelling Cavalier was a complete and utter flop. Anyone with two ears and half a brain could see that. (Except of course for Lina, who loved it, but that just speaks to Cosmo’s theory that she has a third of a brain at most. Seems more and more credible by the day, really.)

If the movie releases as it is, there is no doubt in my mind that Lockwood and Lamont would be dead in the water before a month had passed. We’d lose all credibility whatsoever. Nobody would ever want to work with us again.

But Kathy and Cosmo.

Those two brilliant minds.

Together, and under my charismatic lead, I might add, they came up with an idea that just might save the movie. Perhaps even the studio.

So tomorrow we go to R. F. with a brilliant new plan. There will be music. There will be dancing. There will be modern bits and time travel and all sorts of spectacular stuff. And Lina will have a beautiful new voice, courtesy of Kathy.

After all, we’re already matching sound to picture. Who is there to say that the sound and picture have to be created at the same time?

It’s a novel idea, but it’s brilliant and so outside the box that it just might work.

I’d say I could kiss them both, but I already have many times over, and I’ve made it clear that there are many more back payments still to be made.

No time to sleep tonight, I suppose, and there will probably be very little of it in the next month or so. After all, the premiere date’s already been set, and we've gotta have something to show by then.

We have six weeks to turn this whole thing around. I just hope we can manage to turn the impossible into reality in time.

Until next time,
DL

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

I’ve been coming home exhausted and with new blisters on my feet every day.

It feels just like old times.

Better than old times, actually, because more often than not, Kathy and Cosmo have both been coming home with me. And let me tell you, their brilliance continues to know no bounds.

The music Cosmo has composed for Dancing Cavelier is something beyond my wildest dreams. It wouldn’t be at all surprising if he ended up head of the whole music department at the end of this. At the very least, I am looking forward to hearing his music in a lot more movies going forward—Monumental would be absolutely crazy to put that talent to waste.

And Kathy, well. To hear her voice over Lina’s is something astounding. She actually makes Lina sound attractive. Who knew such a feat would ever be possible?

R. F.’s a genius too. He’s planning on introducing her as the face behind the voice once the movie goes live. Everyone’s going to already love the way she sounds, and she’s got that sort of cute, plucky look that’s instantly attractive. It’s a brilliant way to introduce the next hot ticket, even if the overall trajectory is a little unorthodox.

I wonder how long it’ll be before she’s a top star in her own right? Lockwood and Selden could have a nice ring to it, if I do say so myself.

We haven’t, or I haven’t, talked to her yet about everything, but I think things are moving in the right direction anyway. Cosmo seems to like her well enough, and she’s been over here often enough that she might as well start packing an overnight bag when she plans on visiting her own apartment, rather than the other way around.

I think at this point, it’d be wise to finish the movie, let that all play out, and then sit down to discuss future plans.

If she wants to move forward without us? Well, I think I know her well enough to say that she won’t leak anything to the press, and we could still be cordial onset together, even if things don’t work out too well offstage.

But if she says yes, well. Suffice to say I can’t think of anything I’d like more to hear than her voice first thing every morning, and last thing before I go to bed.

I’ve been choreographing and co-directing my own dance sequences more often than not. Dex has an eye for what looks good on film, all right, but dance is lost on him, and hoofing especially. It’s a new challenge, but I have to say I like it.

Perhaps I should look into directing, once this old mug of mine is a little too wrinkled to be pure leading man material.

In the meantime, it should be another full day of dancing tomorrow. My partner for this next part has legs to die for, and I’m looking forward to spending a day putting them (and my own) to excellent use.

Until next time,
DL

Chapter Text

XX XX, 19XX

This is the second hurricane-ish opening in a row. I certainly hope we’re not starting a new trend. I don’t know how long my heart can take it.

The movie itself was fine. The Dancing Cavalier is due to even overtake The Jazz Singer as the biggest smash in theatres, so I’m fairly certain that my own personal career is just fine for the foreseeable future.

However, Lina pulled a move both so smart and then so dumb that I don’t even know how to put it into words. After all, who goes around claiming that someone else's voice is theirs, and then goes and makes a speech in a theatre of people who just heard that other voice moments earlier?

The mind boggles.

I’m afraid I may have been a little mean to Kathy in the crosshairs of dealing with the rest of this maelstrom, but by the end I think things worked out in her favour.

Or better than that, actually, judging by the way she kissed me.

She’s home with me tonight, by the way.

Tomorrow, she, Cosmo, and I are going to have that little talk.

With any luck, the dawn will bring the start of her new career as a star on the rise, and the start of our brand new little family, as unorthodox as it may be.

In the meantime, I’ll be crossing my fingers, and hoping for all the best.

After the rigamarole of the last few months, I’m pretty sure I deserve something this complicated to go smoothly.

Until next time,
DL