Archive of Our Own

"You're going to north campus, right Ev?" says Gary, finally convincing the stubborn joint on the keyboard stand to fold. "Wanna help me carry these back to my room?"

"Sorry, I thought I'd hang here for a while, actually. I need a little space from my roommate," he says, which is completely true.

Evnaephi shakes her head at him. "I have to lock up and return the key downstairs."

"I could bring it-"

"No, I'm the one who signed it out so I have to return it." Ev suppresses a sigh. She seems to be taking her duties as president-elect very seriously; he's pretty sure Divanna wouldn't care.

"How about you lock me in?" he suggests. "You can close up and return the key, I'll make sure to close the door when I'm done. I just need somewhere a little more private than my dorm to make a phone call."

He's off his persuasion game today, or else Evnaephi is unusually immune to it. He can tell it isn't working even before she shakes her head again.

"You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here," she says, with the air of someone prepared to go to the mat for her solemn presidential duty. Ev holds up his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay. I'll take the stand then, Gary." He swings his backpack onto his shoulders and takes the keyboard stand, dredging up a no-hard-feelings smile for Evnaephi that's mostly an act. The problem is that there isn't really much privacy on campus, especially at nine-thirty on a Thursday night. There's probably some kind of video conferencing room he could have reserved if he'd thought of it ahead of time, but as it is his best option is probably to find a spot outdoors that isn't too trafficked and hope no one wanders close enough to overhear. Not that it would cause any concrete problem for someone to walk by, but the thought of being that vulnerable in a public space he can't control makes his skin crawl a little.

Everard mulls this over as they tromp down to the lobby of the student center and head outside. He doesn't realize he's being oddly silent until Gary asks him,

"Everything all right?"

After a moment's consideration he shrugs. Everything is very much not all right and hasn't been all right since seven years ago, but also he is truly, actually fine, he just doesn't feel like calling his mum, which is a perfectly normal Thursday night college student sort of problem.

"I really think it would have been fine for me to make a phone call and close the door behind me," he says eventually.

"Yeah, probably," Gary agrees. "I'd offer my room but the walls are paper thin, you hear everything in the suite whether you want to or not and I'm pretty sure Mar and Roby are both home."

"Thanks," says Ev. "I'll find...somewhere."

"You can't ask your roommate to skedaddle?"

He shrugs again, uncomfortable. "I guess. I just really don't want him poking his nose into my business, you know?"

"Couldn't you just ask for some privacy? You don't have to tell him why."

"I know. But I know he'd wonder about it, I usually don't do that, and I just...don't want to. I don't want him to think about it. I don't know, that sounds ridiculous, I can't explain it." He isn't even sure what the problem is within his own head, but for some reason asking Brett for some private phone call time feels just as awful as the idea of some random stranger wandering by while he's on the phone. He sighs, shifting his grip on the piano stand as they turn off the path toward Gary's dorm. Come on, Ev, he tells himself, today was so normal, don't make everything weird now.

"I should just get over it and ask him to go hang out in the lounge or something, you're right," he says.

"Well, I definitely didn't tell you to just get over it," Gary replies. "I'm sure there's another option. Are you...sure you're all right? I don't mean to pry, but..." he trails off.

"But I'm acting absolutely bonkers?"

Gary huffs a laugh. "I wouldn't have put it that way, but you do seem, uh, upset. Not that you have to tell me about it."

This would be the time, the opportunity he hasn't had all day to say my little brother died seven years ago today. He can feel the words behind his teeth. Gary's a good guy and probably wouldn't react too weirdly or spread it around to everyone they know, and maybe it would be nice to break through that strange sense of remove that's been following him since he woke up, but he still hesitates. One he says it he can't take it back, and for some reason he's not quite ready to bring that piece of himself into this new life.

"It's...a day with some bad memories, for my family," he says eventually. "I'm fine, though, really. Just not looking forward to the ensuing phone call."

"I get that," says Gary, and squeezes his shoulder briefly with one warm hand before he turns to swipe them into the dorm. Ev shifts the stand in his arms again, shaking his head as he follows Gary in. Who gives someone a supportive shoulder squeeze? He'll never be able to figure out why Gary sometimes has the mannerisms of a jovial middle aged patriarch.

They set the keyboard and stand down in a corner of the tiny living space, exchanging brief greetings with Mar, whose study session has taken over the entire couch. Gary somewhat unexpectedly follows Ev back out, snagging his rainbow cheese hat from the back of the door.

"Let me walk you the rest of the way to your room," he says. "I have an idea."

Ev isn't sure that Brett and Gary have actually met- Brett certainly hasn't come to any Noteworthy shows- but Gary greets him warmly all the same when they walk in.

"Brett! How's it going?"

"Uh, fine," says Brett, turning in his desk chair. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering if you could do us a favor," Gary continues. He snakes an arm around Ev's waist. "Ev and I were wondering if maybe we could have a little, ah, private time, if you aren't in the middle of anything that really has to be done here in the room. Don't wanna kick you out all night, of course, but just for a bit, y'know?"

Ev watches in fascination as Brett's eyes track to Ev, then to Gary's hand on Ev's hip, then to the rainbow hat, then finally to Gary's face. Gary winks at him when he finally makes eye contact, making Ev swallow a disbelieving snort. Honestly, how does he pull this stuff off? Ev can manage a wink without looking like a tool in some circumstances, but only because he's practiced, and he's not afraid to admit it. Winking is creepy if you don't get it right.

"Hey, no problem!" Brett says after a frozen moment, swinging into action to stuff his laptop into his backpack. Is he actually blushing a little bit? Incredible. "Just let me know when, uh, when the coast is clear. No rush, I've got a whole problem set to do tonight anyway. And I was thinking I might go down to the coffee house before they close."

As he passes them on the way to the door he offers Ev what he probably thinks is a covert fistbump, low down between their bodies. Ev, utterly bemused, bumps him back just to get him going; he feels Gary twitch with suppressed laughter next to him.

"Have a good night," Ev tells him.

"You too! Uh, have fun!" Brett calls back, and lets the door swing shut behind him. Ev meets Gary's eyes and grins.

"He...could be worse, I guess," he says.

"Do you think the rainbow hat was too much?" Gary asks. "From the way you talk about him I worried that he wouldn't take a hint easily, I wanted to make sure."

"It was absolutely perfect," says Ev. "Thank you."

"Any time. I mean that. Brett can think we're having a whole torrid affair."

"I'll let you know. But really I'll be fine, I usually can deal with. Today was just..." he trails off, still unsure of exactly what today was.

"Hey, sometimes days are just," says Gary, giving him a warm smile as he heads for the door. "Good luck with your phone call."

"Thanks," says Ev, and stands there in his hard-earned privacy just watching the door for a long time after Gary leaves.

He calls his mum. He still doesn't really want to, but it feels good to finally get on with it, at least, and it helps a lot that she's so obviously pleased to hear from him. They switch to video and she cries and he cries, and they talk for a while about Roger and for a while about things that have nothing to do with Roger, and Ev remembers that he really should call her more often on normal days. Around eleven she hangs up to go to sleep- it seems ridiculously early, but then college has definitely messed with his schedule- and Ev flops on his terrible twin extra long bed in his tiny cube of a room and spends a little while wishing that he was home.

Eventually he gets up and scrubs his face and redoes his hair. Brett might chalk a little dishevelment up to his supposed wild night with Gary, but even his delight of a roommate can probably notice the difference between post-cry and post-shag. He doesn't want to talk and feigning sleep while Brett pokes around their room sounds appalling; maybe he'll go for a walk, or see if Jillian is still awake. He grabs his phone to give Brett the all clear and sees that he has four texts from Gary:

If you need some more non-Brett time feel free to crash at mine

Roby has a couch in his room, I'll take that and you can have my room

I promise we'll all leave you alone

Just lmk