Chapter Text
"Hey, Houzuki-kun!" Houzuki hears the guys call for her, and turns her head. "Come and join us for lunch, will you? We've saved you a seat!"
She moves to their designated table and places her textbook on the bench next to her. "Must you always be so loud, Garyuu-san?"
Garyuu laughs, "I was afraid you couldn't hear us. Whenever you're engrossed in a book, you're not going to listen to anything!"
"I'm not looking at a book now, am I? And give me a break, I have to spend all night long reading, and it's still not enough for Mikotoba-sensei's classes." She retorts, "Forensic science is hard, you know. If I don't study hard, I'll lose my scholarship for sure!"
"Yeesh, we're all on the same boat here, Houzuki-san." Ichijou, who is sitting across from her, sighs, "In English classes, we need to read a ton of books and learn poetry by heart, and even then it's still not enough for the exams. I suppose Garyuu is suffering the hardest, being a law student and all."
"Urg, don't remind me," Garyuu groans, "I spent most of the time in law classes listening to boring lectures and learning old-school laws by heart. There are debate classes, sure, but you can't forgo studying knowing that you might be pit against the student council president of all people."
"Heavens, you're in the same class as Asougi-san?" Ichijou laughs. "Last I've heard, that stick-in-the-mud is still insufferable as ever."
"Hang on, Ichijou-san. Just because he's the student council president, how could you possibly think Asougi-san is a stick-in-the-mud?" Houzuki interrupts. "He's one hell of a menace, that's what he is. He comes over to help Mikotoba-sensei sometimes and every time he does, he would cause one hell of a ruckus after another with his katana. Who in their right mind would allow him to bring a katana to school anyway?"
"Yeah, and didn't he preach about the plight of the downtrodden classes or something during that speech competition?" Garyuu rubs his chin in thought, "As much as I applaud his compassion towards the common people, that kind of behaviour won't sit well with the school officials at all."
Ichijou scoffs, "I'm saying this because I sit next to Naruhodou-san in class, duh."
"Ah, of course," Houzuki deadpans, "The Naruhodou Effect."
"Naruhodou-san always seems to bring out the Golden Boy Mikotoba in him huh," Garyuu muses. "He's usually very aggressive in class and debates, but is surprisingly nice in the Literature electives with Naruhodou-san."
"You're right on the mark," Ichijou quips, "Naruhodou-san's a nice guy, you know. Maybe Asougi-san's been around him for so long he's picked up his behaviour."
"God, I sincerely hope so." Garyuu sighs, shaking his head, "If he brings out his katana every time he's too passionate about a project again, I think I'm going to have a heart attack!"
"Speaking of which," Houzuki sips on her tea and asks, "don't you all find it strange?"
"What are you talking about, Houzuki-kun?" Garyuu asks.
"Naruhodou-san, of course," the only woman in their group gestures a hand. "Just take a look at the guy. He's the typical nice boy who is always willing to help every teacher and kouhai he meets, he usually shares his food with Ichijou-san if he's running late---"
"Yeah, he does." Ichijou confirms, "What is so strange about it?"
Houzuki lowers her voice to a whisper. "Have you ever wondered why he hasn't had a lover yet?"
The men look at their friend with the most incredulous expression on their faces.
"Really, do you really have to ask, Houzuki-kun?" Garyuu sighs and tries to speak in his most nonchalant voice. Ichijou nods and continues, "The answer is so obvious."
The gears start turning in Houzuki's head as she looks at her friends, trying to read the current atmosphere of the group. Her eyes widen at the realisation. "Wait. Don't tell me... you guys can't possibly mean...?"
"It's obvious, isn't it?" Ichijou sighs as he finishes chewing on his biscuit, "Naruhodou-san isn't the real problem here. It's Asougi-san."
It's probably the tenth time this month that Ichijou has to forgo breakfast to run to class on time. He had overslept the night before, having studied the Shakespearean play they have to analyse for the day. As a result, he's now sweating buckets in class after running from his dorm to campus, with an empty stomach groaning in protest.
"Tough night?" His neighbour asks. Ichijou looks up to see Naruhodou-san next to him, smiling ever so sweetly and handing him some onigiri. "Hope you're not allergic to either salmon or sesame."
"Uh... thanks," he says lamely and picks up his offered share. "How come you never look tired for class, anyway?"
"I'm used to sleeping late," Naruhodou-san says simply, and Ichijou supposes that's the end of the conversation. He could not wrap his head around the answer, but his neighbour would refuse to elaborate. Said neighbour is a man of few words - except when he's told to recite and analyse a favourite poem of his - so Ichijou doesn't pry any more than necessary. He continues to chew on the onigiri, savouring the rich taste of salmon and the slightly salty taste of the sesame and the nori. With cooking skills like this, Naruhodou-san would make a good husband, Ichijou muses, but the thought doesn't last long. He senses a cold stare so intense, it runs right down his spine.
Of course, he sighs inwardly, Asougi-san is here, again .
Class proceeds as normal except for the cold stare aiming at the back of his neck. That is, until the Professor tells the class to pair up and discuss their analysis with their respective neighbour. Instinctively, Ichijou turns to his left.
"Hey, Naruhodou," he asks, "Can we pair up?"
"Oh, uh--" Naruhodou-san doesn't even have a chance to answer when Asougi-san appears from nowhere and wraps his arms around the smaller man's shoulders.
"No. He pairs up with me." The student council president says bluntly, "and who are you to call his name without honorifics, huh?"
"Of course, I apologise," Ichijou knows better than to anger Asougi-san when he's quite literally glaring daggers at him. Still, he supposes he could point out one irrefutable fact. "Though, Asougi-san... you're not supposed to be in this class."
"Unimportant." Asougi-san quips, "He's my partner, and I shall pair up with him."
"Suit yourself," Ichijou shrugs. No point in arguing further on this matter. He supposes he should turn to his right and work with Nagase, who still has difficulty wrapping his head around the nuances of Shakespeare's way with words.
"That's only one of many, many occurrences." Ichijou finishes his anecdote with a sigh. "You should consider yourself lucky, Houzuki-san, if you can't enrol in any law or English literature electives."
Garyuu nods. "You didn't join the sports festival last year, didn't you? The law department had to steal Naruhodou-san from the English department so we don't completely blow this up."
Houzuki perks up. "But why?"
Garyuu sighs. "The pros of having Asougi-san on our team is obvious. He is one of the most, if not the most, intelligent student of our year. He's highly athletic, and as you all can see the sword is not for show. He is also functional and a good team player."
Ichijou continues, "But, as you may know by now, our student council president has one weakness that both our departments will exploit for the sake of us all: Naruhodou-san. Basically, if we can have both of them on either of our teams, we'll be fine. If not, disaster will arise."
"Remember the relay race? Izanagi above, that was the worst." Garyuu rubs his temple, "We made the mistake of separating them into different teams that day, and after running his part, Asougi-san passed the baton to Naruhodou-san, just like that! And the idiot takes the baton and starts sprinting, as if it were from his team!"
"Just like that, they made both our teams disqualified from the race," Ichijou concludes. "From then on, we know better than to separate them."
"I see," The young woman nods solemnly. It's baffling that they are gossiping about Teito Yuumei's top students as if they were complete buffoons - which she supposed they were, considering the stories she has heard in this lunch break.
Houzuki looks to her left, "I bet Garyuu-san has more stories from his law classes, though. I mean, you are in the same classes as Asougi-san, aren't you?"
Garyuu lets out a longer sigh, his head in his hands. "Izanagi above, don't remind me."
Instead of sighing and agreeing with him, however, Ichijou throws his head and lets out an unhinged laugh. "Heavens, you don't have to embarrass him any further, Houzuki-san!"
"What happened?"
Ichijou takes a minute to compose himself, and breathes out. "Rookie mistake: he confessed to Asougi-san!"
"As in," Houzuki narrows her eyes in confusion, "his feelings?"
"Yes!" And Ichijou goes back to his laughing fit, his face plants into the dining table as his body shakes with laughter.
"Hey," Garyuu groans in protest, his face beet red, "I just thought he was cool, okay!?
"I have to concur," Houzuki clicks her tongue, "he is pretty cool until he opens his mouth and takes out his sword and... well... threatens anyone who's in the vicinity of Naruhodou-san, I suppose."
"Of course, Houzuki-kun, you get me!" Garyuu exclaims. The young woman stares at her friend curiously.
"Oh, but do tell. How did the confession go?"
The law student covers his face, embarrassment clearly written on the back of his hands. "Heavens above, it was horrible."
Houzuki chuckles, "Then you absolutely must tell me, Garyuu-san!"
Even after his confession and their (probably) mutual agreement, Garyuu still has no idea how Asougi-san could agree to his rather abrupt and childish proclamation.
"Asougi-san!" he mustered all his courage and blurted out, "I like you! Will you join me for lunch sometimes!?"
"Uh, sure, I think?" Asougi-san answered with the most bewildered expression on his face, but at least he had accepted his offer for lunch.
As planned, they would meet after class at Teito Yuumei's cafeteria to enjoy lunch while discussing their assignments - Asougi-san has some special interest on the subject of matter, and Garyuu had wanted to hear his input for a while. The dish would be of Asougi-san's choosing, though the young man secretly hopes that the student council president does not have a whimsical appetite if they were to share the dish - he needs food in his stomach, too.
The so-called date happens according to plan, of course. Asougi-san fetches him from the hallway and leads the way to the cafeteria. They sit down and he orders gyuunabe, which Garyuu has nothing to complain about. They start talking about their lessons, and Garyuu manages to ask his "date" about the topic he wanted to hear the young lawyer's input.
It's after the gyuunabe is served that Garyuu realises his rookie mistake.
"Tasty, right?" Asougi-san asks, and the young man nods in agreement.
"Of course it is!" the other man lets out a jovial laugh and continues "Naruhodou loves to order gyuunabe whenever we eat together here, and so far it never disappoints!"
From that point on the conversation ventures into the topic of a certain English Literature student, from Naruhodou-san amazing performance during the speech competition in spring (Garyuu thinks the speech wasn't too special, save for the speaker's penchant in wordplay and the most clever puns); the little debates they've exchanged during several gatherings of the student association and Naruhodou-san's interest in languages, the performing arts, and shogi; Asougi-san's observation of his friend in the kyuudo club when he was allowed to join them as a spectator for one practice session, et cetera.
The poor student tries to listen, but finds himself losing more and more of his focus as the man across from him gushes about his best friend, completely forgetting about his "date" and his guest.
They bid each other farewell earlier than planned, Asougi-san citing his arrangements with Naruhodou-san and the fact that he should rush to the library as the reason why he must cut the meeting short. Garyuu nods in understanding and bows, mouthing his farewells as the student council president is up and ready to rush to his location.
They go on a few more study arrangements after that, though every time gyuunabe would taste a bit less savoury in his mouth as Asougi-san prattles on about his best friend during every single date. Eventually, they stop asking each other out, and Garyuu no longer seeks after Asougi-san after their classes for any advice or subject matter expertise.
He should have known that the student he admires has a burning infatuation with his best friend, so much that he wants to shout it to the whole world. Though, that's not the only reason why he stops going out with his classmate - it's depressing for him to witness that, even though Asougi-san has expressed his clear admiration for Naruhodou-san, the recipient of the heaps of affection always seems to miss the clue.
The incredulous stare of both his table-mates is starting to scare him.
"Really, Garyuu? Are you serious?" Ichijou's eyes look as if they were about to pop out of his sockets, and Garyuu leans back, trying to avert his gaze from his friends.
"Wh-what are you talking about?"
"I'm pretty sure Naruhodou-san notices," Ichijou says, "No, scratch that, he definitely takes note of Asougi-san's affections."
"And returns it too, as far as I know," Houzuki sighs, "I came across them once after class one day. Asougi-san was laying his head on Naruhodou-san's lap, while Naruhodou-san was reciting something from his textbook and occasionally feeding Asougi-san his snack. As if it were the most natural thing in the world."
"That's... very specific, Houzuki-kun," Garyuu lets out an exasperated sigh, "Yeah... in that case, it would surprise me if they weren't like, secret lovers or something..."
"Also, when you started 'dating' Asougi-san, so to speak, Naruhodou-san came into class with a very sombre mood. The very next day, he suddenly arranged his whole schedule around your study 'dates'," Ichijou recalls, "Haven't you noticed that Asougi-san left your company earlier each passing day?"
"Now that you've mentioned it...," Garyuu rubs his chin, then slouches, hitting his head on the table, "Urg. I should have known... He was always so eager to part from my company, and made up all sorts of excuses, most of them regarding Naruhodou-san..."
"To be honest, as much as I want to believe he enjoyed your company, I think he would appreciate Naruhodou-san's much more," Houzuki quips. "In fact, I believe Asougi-san only has eyes for Naruhodou-san."
"And vice versa," Ichijou concludes. "Actually, you know what, there's this other thing..."
The idiots dub it "The Naruhodou Challenge." Ichijou scoffs at the sheer absurdity of the name -- Naruhodou-san is a person, and is decidedly not a "challenge." They explain that it should serve as a "Rite of Passage" into adulthood, whatever nonsense that is, with conditions so baffling Ichijou couldn't find it in himself to laugh. Those bullies would cajole any wide-eyed freshman into trying to court Naruhodou-san and see whether Asougi-san would hunt them down or not, though they would be courteous enough to commiserate with them if that were the case.
Three days later, he hears that Ichiyanagi-san from his Philosophy class accidentally called Naruhodou-san "partner", and got rejected plainly as a result. The news spread as quick as daffodils scattering in the wind, and soon everyone in their year knows about the rejection and it dawns on them: calling Naruhodou-san "partner" is a privilege only Asougi-san could have. Even the bullies never dare to call Naruhodou-san "partner" to his face, or force the freshmen to try and call him that.
Eventually "The Naruhodou Challenge" works more in Naruhodou-san's favour than any of the English majors would expect. Naruhodou-san commiserates with every unassuming freshman who comes to him with a confession, telling the poor kid that they were set up for a practical joke and that he would buy them a snack for their trouble. Every new confession gains the freshman a senpai they could rely on, and said senpai a friend to trade snacks with. Over time, they realise that, while their gentle and considerate senpai can tolerate most things, there are two rules they must always remember:
- Number one, his homemade dishes are reserved for Asougi-san, and Asougi-san only.
- Number two, never separate him and Asougi-san whenever they walk together on campus.
Ichijou is just glad those kids didn’t learn that information the hard way.