Archive of Our Own ^beta

There is a house. There is a house on the hill. There’s a house on the top of the hill and it has been there for a long time. No one really knows how long, it just is there, somehow, it stands there tall and proud and old and creaky against the storms of the autumn, and it’s on top of the hill. There is a house, and in the house, there is a boy. He sits there, on the staircase leading upstairs, deep in his thoughts. He has been there for quite some time, too. But not as long as the house.

Felix sighs as he stands up, the stairs creaking underneath him. He hears a few steps from the attic, he knows who it is by now, it’s the little twins that never speak a word, just play with their toys and forget they once were alive. Felix is pretty sure they don’t even know they’re dead. They’re just… little boys. Playing with their toys. In the attic of the haunted house.

It’s cliché. It’s very cliché, and had Felix not been one of the ghosts, he would have never believed it. A haunted house high up in the hill, just slightly away from the heart of the town! Who would have thought! And only to add to the cliché, Felix can hear the rain again, he can hear the drops gently caressing the windows, slowly trickling down, all the way to the ground, just to create little puddles and then seep deep into the mud. Occasionally Felix himself hopes he could be like the rain. Seeping into the mud, changing, evaporating, raining down again. Continuing a cycle. Free. But Felix is stuck. And there’s really nothing he can do about it.

Felix feels a nudge on his shirt. It’s the girl. She doesn’t speak either, probably lost the ability with her death. It’s horrifying, how much a house sees during the years it stands on the hill. Felix isn’t the only one of the ghosts. He’s just the latest one. The girl leads Felix by his shirt from the hallway to the kitchen, then points at the windowsill. There is a dead bird, and sadness fills Felix briefly. There’s nothing supernatural about it, the bird has just probably flown in from the crannies in the attic and then hasn’t been able to find its way out. It’s still sad. Felix could have helped it, had he seen the bird early enough.

Felix gently takes the bird into his hands, it weighs nothing, just feathers and a heart that has once beaten. Felix hopes the house won’t claim the bird as its own as it had done to him years ago. The girl, with big, sorry eyes and a white nightgown follows Felix from the kitchen to the hallway, then she’s friendly enough to open the door for Felix. Felix steps down the stone stairs, there’s fallen leaves gathered on them. Carefully he walks to the side of the old house, there’s a rose bush there. The girl helps Felix dig the shallow grave, and there they put the bird, to rest for all eternity. It’s bittersweet. Felix hopes he could do that. But he can’t. He doesn’t even know why the house claimed him.

The rain doesn’t make Felix’s shirt stick to his skin. He can still feel it, it’s cold, but he doesn’t… feel cold. Well, he’s always cold, to be fair, but it’s a different cold. A different sensation, it comes from inside of him in a different way than the usual cold. The girl takes Felix’s hand, it’s equally as cold as his own and they return back inside of the house. If there are onlookers, Felix doesn’t see them, nor does he pay attention to them. The house is haunted, the whole town knows it, or that’s what the rumor says. Only the smart ones believe it. Felix just knows there aren’t all that many of those smart ones.

They get back inside of the house. It’s quite a big house, but not like those mansions like in the classic Halloween films. Felix vaguely remembers seeing those as a kid, but it’s been quite some time from that. It’s just a bit bigger house with quite a big yard, which with its spiky fencing and trees that barely grow leaves during the summers seems haunted. There’s also a shed, a pond, and a stable that’s mostly broken down now. There’s nothing in it, just moldy hay and overgrowth. The house is the only thing that’s still in somewhat good condition. Sure, one of the windows downstairs is broken, some kids had broken it a few years ago. And there’s a hole in the roof. But otherwise it’s fine. Just… well, it’s been over twenty years since anyone living has inhabited it. Felix and his family were the last ones, up until the tragedy, after that no one has dared to live in the house. It’s not all that surprising, really, who would want to live in a murder house?

Surprisingly many people, actually, during his years Felix has encountered a lot of people in the house. Teenagers and young adults, mostly, and most of them are there just to test their limits, how long they can last in the haunted house on top of the hill. Felix has encountered all of them, but very few of them have encountered Felix. He usually stays in the shadows, stays in the attic, tells the kids to stay hidden. They don’t need more ghost stories. They don’t need… more people disturbing the peace of the house. Too bad the girl always wants to say hi to the guests with her missing tongue.

Felix sits down again on the stairs of the hallway. There are mostly bedrooms and a bigger bathroom upstairs. The lights still work, for some reason electricity hasn’t been cut from the hill even if there’s no one to pay the bill. Felix isn’t even sure who owns the house anymore. It can’t be his parents, that’s for sure, they died during that night, too. His dad’s brother maybe? Nah, he would have sold it. The city? Could be. Felix doesn’t know, but he doesn’t really care either. It doesn’t matter who owns the house, he’d be stuck there until… until what? He doesn’t know that either.

So there he sits. On the stairs. The red carpeting on them is surprisingly soft. The interiors are soft colors, too, different browns, made to seem grand. The tapestry has started to fall off from the hallway. It’s pretty sad, Felix wants to fix it, but he can’t. Upstairs looks a bit better, except for… well, the blood splatter. On the walls. And the fake blood and all that. And paint. Some cult had even tried to make the house theirs once, and for them Felix had appeared, kicked down their candles and told them to fuck off from his room. That had been fun. That had really been the only time haunting had been… fun.

The day passes by Felix, turns to night, Felix doesn’t move, just sits there, his knees to his chest. Time doesn’t really pass the same when you’re a ghost. It’s easy to succumb into your thoughts, sometimes for days. The day slips into velvety night, Felix feels a ghost of a hand on his shoulder, knows it’s the last bits of the lady of the house. She’ll be gone soon, Felix knows it. He doesn’t even know how he knows it, he just does. Perhaps this is a goodbye. Perhaps the goodbye will happen next week. Felix doesn’t know, but he doesn’t need to. He doesn’t need to know anything anymore.

Morning comes. The house looks beautiful in the first rays of the sun. Morning sun makes the house come alive, in a sense. Felix sees the dust dancing in the air, the slight wind creaks the house, the town begins to awaken. Felix hears the cars, he hears the clamor, the few neighbors lower down the hill are leaving for work, going on with their daily lives. The house on top of the hill is somewhat of an overstatement, the house doesn’t stand on the hill alone. There are other houses, too. Felix’s house is just right on the top. And it’s the haunted one. So it very much is a cliché. But it’s still very dear to Felix, even if he’s part of the urban legends now.

And still, Felix sits there. He always sits there. He doesn’t even know what it is about the particular spot, is it the view from the large windows beside the doors outside, is it the way he feels like he’s at the heart of the house, right beside his kitchen. If he closes his eyes, tries hard enough, he can almost imagine his mother in the kitchen, making him breakfast. But just almost. Always almost.

And then suddenly, his imagination comes crashing down as the front door of the house is suddenly slammed open. Felix doesn’t even have time to react, he doesn’t have time to disappear, vanish into the shadows. He just sits there. Eyes wide open, staring at a young lady with wild hair and an even wilder grin on her face.
“Hello! You’re early here, I thought we’d be the first ones!” She exclaims. Behind her is a man, and there’s another man, and they’re carrying things. Then Felix sees another car drive in through the gate, after it another, he nearly panics. What the hell? What the hell?!

“I- uh- yeah”, Felix croaks out. His voice sounds a little strange, he hasn’t talked in a while besides hushed whispers into the twins’ ears. He stands up, dusts his trousers a little, alarmed as the men start hauling cardboard boxes into the house, looking around quite disinterested. There’s a girl, too, she leaves boxes on the porch, and another man, and a boy, and there’s someone who’s carrying a clown costume, what in the everloving fuck-
“Amazing, have you looked at any places yet? Do you have your job assigned yet to you? I don’t think you have. Man, this house is creepy, this will be perfect for us! I’m so excited!”
Felix wants to ask. Excited for what? Why are these people here? What are you doing in my house? Haven’t you heard the stories? Get out before it’s too late for you, before the house claims you as their own!

“Changbin? Changbin! There you are!” The lady calls out. There’s another boy, he’s carrying another box, looking around. He doesn’t look all that excited. He’s the one who drove one of the cars, probably, he has keys dangling from his pocket. He nods at Felix, eyes skimming over him like Felix really isn’t there, and that’s probably because he isn’t supposed to be there.
“Changbin, isn’t this perfect! It’s even better than I imagined! This is going to be a perfect attraction for Halloween!”

Attraction. For Halloween?

Felix feels terrified for the first time in years.

***

And before the day is done, Felix has become one of the workers in the haunted house. He’s not even a ghost. He’s going to work in the ticket booth by the door in exactly two days. Why? Because his goddamn house is now an attraction for the entire month of October. The entire. Month. Of October. Their little haunted house will be a tourist attraction, except that the people hosting the haunted house tour don’t believe that the house is actually haunted. Wonderful. Great. Amazing. Felix is freaking out!

He watches as through the day the house is being cleaned up and then dirtied up again. He watches as the people sweep some of the spider webs adorning the walls away, just to replace them with much more fake looking spiderwebs. He watches as new paintings are put into the walls, some of them not actual paintings but mirrors, some of them interactive. He watches the kitchen come alive as people bring their small fridge there and realize the water still runs, too. He watches the group of people tour around the house, he follows them to his room and hears them talk. “That’s the place where that one boy died, that’s the place he got his throat slit open.” He doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything.

Except hastily whisper into the corners, keep away, keep yourselves hidden, stay in the attic. The people don’t dare to go into the attic, or perhaps they can’t, they can’t find the hidden stairway in one of the cupboards along the upstairs hallway. The hatch doesn’t work, it’s stuck, it’s been like that forever.

But Felix doesn’t only watch, he also helps. He helps to hang the spiderweb from the ceiling, he helps the boss-lady to pick out the best spots for the workers to scare people at. He knows that the house is full of corners, full of dark places that hide the actors well enough. For some reason, he helps them. Takes his place as the ticket vendor with the excuse that he’s a bad actor. He’s a ghost, he doesn’t want to pretend to be one.

It’s a bit awkward at first, Felix hasn’t really interacted with people in a normal way in a while, but he’s observant so he eventually gets the hang of it. He helps pour fake blood on the stairs, paint it on the walls, hopes he’ll be able to get it off when the time of October will be over. He doesn’t say it to the others, that real blood doesn’t really stick like that, it seeps into the structures, it rusts and turns brown and black, but eventually he decides not to, maybe it’s not even meant to look like actual blood.

There’s fifteen people in the house decorating it and suddenly it is very full, and through the day Felix starts to get a little overwhelmed, but he knows he can’t disappear now, he can’t pull himself into the shadows and stay there. It would be weird. He can’t do that. Because for some reason, now that he accidentally revealed himself, he has to help these people to put up their little Halloween tour destination. Which is his house. His home. The place he died in. But these people don’t know it, they think Felix is just there to work, they think he’s just a regular boy. He gets a few weird looks, of course, hears someone whispering that he hasn’t seen Felix before, why is he wearing clothes like that, that jacket is so from twenty years ago (because it is, and Felix is very fond of his forest green track suit jacket because his white shirt underneath it is drenched with blood and he has no other clothes).

Yes, perhaps Felix is a little awkward, maybe he’s even more so for a ghost, but still… it’s oddly enchanting to suddenly be around people, who don’t see him as a ghost. They see him as a human. He helps carry stuff from the cars over to the house. Slowly he begins to understand how much he’s missed – the people are tapping on their phones that Felix remembers to be huge and not like that at all. The people just tap the screens. Some of them all the time. And the cars are new too, and suddenly there’s music that sounds somewhat familiar, but then again not really, and so so much stuff and it’s overwhelming but it’s alright! There are people! And suddenly the house doesn’t feel so haunted anymore.

Through the day the abandoned house on the hill turns into a Halloween attraction. There are ghosts hanging from the ceiling (they’re just some white thin veiling), human-sized skeletons waiting for the person touring in the basement. They put up speakers and machines that create fog and it’s all so cool! And exciting! And a bit anxiety-inducing, but Felix stays put, he has to. It would be weird to disappear now. Felix learns that the tours will take place during the evenings and that there will be quite a bit of different actors,

and that one of them is portraying him. He’s a boy called Jisung, Felix learns, and he’s supposed to play him. It’s a bit weird, but they seem to get it right, they have heard the story of a family being murdered upstairs, so Jisung’s residence will be in Felix’s room. He’s a bit shy one at first, but when Felix asks more of his job, he tells more. This isn’t his first year acting in these sort of Halloween things, last year they had a little haunted circus at the town theatre. It had been fun, apparently. Felix hadn’t visited, and Jisung looked a bit disappointed at that. When Jisung begins asking about Felix’s own life, Felix quickly finds something else to do and excuses himself from Jisung’s company.

There’s also Minho, who will help Felix at the ticket booth. He’s part of the security team, he’s very fun and seems to get along with Jisung very well. He doesn’t believe the house is haunted, Jisung does. Jisung is right. Minho has a friend called Seungmin, who’s sort of overlooking the actors, he’s part of the costume team. He also seems very fun, but he’s very busy, so Felix doesn’t get to say anything else than hi to him.

And then there’s Changbin.

Changbin doesn’t talk to Felix. In fact, he looks very… odd when he sees Felix at first. He looks like he’s seeing something that doesn’t make sense, and that’s a little off-putting to Felix. Changbin, too, is a friend of Jisung’s, and he’s going to be in charge of the sounds in the house, his work booth will be next to Felix’s, behind a curtain, away from the customer’s eyes. Changbin has very sharp eyes, he’s dressed in black from head to toe, and he carries all the boxes with ease.

There’s also plenty of other people, but the names don’t stick to Felix, and he knows he probably won’t see half of these people until the month is up. He knows there will be more people, he overhears it, the rest of the actors will come tomorrow and they will test the tour and all that. And the day after that it is October, and then the Halloween attraction opens for the customers, and then… the haunted house on top of the hill will be very much haunted. And it’s odd. It’s very odd.

But even odder is the look in Changbin’s eyes when at nightfall, he gazes at the house from the front yard, thinking he’s the last one at the house and Felix has to duck himself back from the curtains in order to not be seen, to not break that assumption of Changbin’s.

***

“Hi, Felix, right?”

Felix turns around, he’s holding a cardboard box that apparently contains the costume of the chainsaw murderer that’s going to be in the basement. He nearly drops the box as he comes to face the one calling to him. It’s Changbin, he has black headphones around his neck and he’s wearing a cozy looking hoodie. He’s also holding his hand out for a shake. Felix quickly fumbles with the box to grasp his hand.
“Yeah, hi, yea, it’s Felix”, Felix is quick to smile. He prays the boy doesn’t notice the way Felix’s hands are cold.

“Changbin”, Changbin smiles, too, and the look in his eyes is far from examining today. He seems… warmer. Gentler. Less alert. “Sorry, I was in a bit of a mood yesterday, a few things came up and I had to work really late and I was really tired and didn’t remember to introduce myself. You’re going to work at the ticket booth, right?”
“Yeah, that’s me”, Felix says and quickly lets go of Changbin’s hand so that he doesn’t notice anything being a little off.
“Great! That’s right beside me, then!” Changbin has a very pretty smile, it’s a bit crooked, a bit lopsided and tugs the right corner of his mouth a bit more than the left. It’s charming, Felix finds himself thinking.
“Anyway, uhm, see you around! I gotta go check the sound system upstairs!”
“Yeah, see you around”, Felix waves Changbin off towards the stairs and nearly drops the box he’s holding in the process.

***

October first. Launch day. The Halloween tour is done and finalized and the house is full of life. Actors have found their places, they’re ready for the nights to come. Mondays are free days, every other day of the week the attraction is open from four in the afternoon to twelve in the midnight. And on the Halloween weekend, the tour will be open from two to two, so, the entire day. The boss has said that the last weekends will be the busiest ones, the weekdays will most likely be calmer. All of the actors have earpieces, Changbin has a view to the front of the yard and he’s ready to tell the actors when a customer enters the house, ready to warn them to act and scare those who have come to tour the house. Haunted house tour is ready.

And so is Felix. At least probably. His little ticketing booth is by the front door, he has a small table and a cash register and a ‘laptop’, which is a computer, and Felix surely doesn’t remember computers to be that… tiny, but apparently that’s what it is. Or it… looks like it. Felix doesn’t dare to touch it, there is an open page on the computer and it is supposed to do something about calculating something and Felix has no idea what. Thankfully, there is another booth across from him, tucked into the corner, and there’s sitting another person with a similar computer and a phone, she’s the one taking phone calls (thank God because Felix is fairly certain the phone wouldn’t even work with him on the other end, something about static noise or something).

The clock strikes four and there’s a small queue outside, waiting to get into the house. Felix can already hear it, the “Oh my god this is the house, the house on the hill, the haunted house, how have they dared to make an attraction out of this, I wonder if there’s actual ghosts”, and then the first customer greets him and Felix smiles and charges him five bucks. In cash. Thankfully. They don’t take credit, the machines cost too much, that’s what the boss has said. Felix is grateful for that, too, and the fact that the boss taught him to use the cash register earlier today. Those have changed a lot in twenty years as well, Felix can’t remember them to be this… easy to use twenty years ago when he had worked as a clerk in a small corner store.

Felix can hear Changbin mumbling behind the curtain behind him into his mic for the actors to get ready. The first group consists of three people, the max is four people. It’s so very odd to Felix. The house is suddenly so… full. There’s so much noise. He knows the people can’t feel it, but he can, he can feel the other spirits, how they’re curious about the racket, about what’s happening to their house. He can nearly hear it over the haunting music reverberating through the hallways, how the walls whisper, how they’re awakened from their sleep. The house on the hill is suddenly full of life, but not permanently.

And it doesn’t take very long for the first scream to echo through the house. Screams of terror, turning to shrill screeches, and then to bursting laughter. It’s all fake. The terror isn’t real, Felix knows these people will most likely never in their lives experience such soul-shattering terror as those trapped in the house have. That terror is so soul-shattering that Felix can’t remember it anymore. He can’t remember his death, nor the moments prior to that. Neither can the girl nor the twins nor the lady of the pond nor the boy in the basement. None of them can remember the exact moment, but they can remember, that it was much, much stronger than what the house will face in the next month.

The first few hours pass, Felix’s job is easy enough for him, he can faintly recall his few summers behind the cash register at the corner store in his hometown. That had been a bit before he and his family had moved into the city, into the house, and… before they had all been killed. Felix knows that thought should make him sad, but it doesn’t. He’s used to it. Used to the grief that comes with death.

“How’s it going?” Changbin’s voice startles Felix from his thoughts. There’s no queue at the moment, some people are in the house currently touring. The stream of people so far has been decent, not too crowded, just enough of people.
“Well, I think? How about you?” Felix asks, gives Changbin a gentle smile.
“It’s fine, the basement music is acting up every now and then but nothing too bad. I think the actors are more freaked out about that than the people touring.”
Felix lets out a light chuckle. He knows the music is acting up for a reason. The boy in the basement isn’t all that fond of visitors. Felix is only waiting for the other ghosts to get fed up and show themselves, he’s waiting for the stories to start circling. He has tried to tell them to keep away, for their own sake (more stories, more people breaking in), but occasionally it’s hard to quench the curiousness of a bunch of kids who haven’t grown past nine years old.
“Ah, could be the electricity. This house is very old”, Felix acts as if he’s pondering. Changbin shrugs, the door is opened and more customers come in. Four girls, all looking excited. Felix charges them all five bucks before he waves at them to move further into the house.

Most of the house is dark, save for the hallway and little lights leading the customers on. It’s amazing how the creators of the tour have managed to use almost every single room in the house and create a path through them except for the attic and the kitchen, which is used as a break room. It’s roughly in the middle of the house, surrounded by stairways and a few other rooms. It’s also amazing how many actors they have managed to put into the house, and once again Felix hears screaming from down the hallway.
“Is this your first time working in this… Halloween thing?” Felix asks from Changbin. He’s pushed the curtain from in between them away. The space they’re sitting in is rather cramped as Changbin’s workplace is in a sort of niche in front of the window and Felix is sitting behind that niche. They’re sitting very close to each other.

“Nah, I’ve been on these for two years now. Last year at the circus and before that in an old school that we turned into this school-hospital-thing.”
“Sounds funny. And scary.”
Changbin lets out a little laugh at that: “It’s fun, yeah. Though, I’d much rather sit here and operate it all than actually walk through the house. I think this is your first time here, right? At least I haven’t seen you before.”
“It’s my first time, yeah”, Felix nods. And the last time. He has doubts the attraction will return to the house on the hill next year. There are more people coming in and Felix tells them to wait for a bit before he cashes them and gives them the green light to go. The girl opposite to him signals that she’ll take a break and Felix nods at her, too.

The evening goes by rather quickly. Changbin is very nice, they talk about this and that, mostly Felix asks questions about the past years’ attractions and about Changbin’s line of work, what he does, how does he know the right backtrack is playing at the right place, what do all of those buttons mean, and Changbin, with a sparkle in his eyes tells Felix about his work. He clearly enjoys it, and he enjoys telling about it, and it is very endearing. It gives Felix a rather fluttering feeling in his chest, he loves seeing people so… excited. Excited about life. They have no idea how precious it all is, how suddenly it can be taken away. He loves seeing people love the things they do, and that’s why he’s so enthralled in the way Changbin explains it all to him.

In the end, the bosslady pats everybody’s back, congratulates them for the amazing opening night, and then the people leave, some of them decide to go to a bar. Changbin asks if Felix would like to join them, but Felix excuses himself with the lie that he’s forgot his jacket in the house, they should all go, he doesn’t drink and he’s tired. And then he watches them all leave from the same window as for the past two nights.

It is then that he realizes that he’s going to have to come up with a lot more lies in order to not get caught.

***

The thing about houses is that all of them are somewhat haunted. It’s wrong to call simply one of them haunted just because the wind whines in the chimney a bit louder than in the other houses. A house can be haunted by many things – ghosts, memories, fragments, the past. But then again, what are ghosts? Are they only spirits? Or are they, too, memories? Memories from the times long gone? Are ghosts only cold, transparent figures at the window, or are they other things, too? The memory of a loved one’s lips against your ear, that can be a ghost. A book that embeds itself into your memories, that can be a ghost, too. Or perhaps a song, lyrics long forgotten, melody still in your head that brings you back to the days you still lived with your parents. What are ghosts? And what is haunting?

Ghosts are from the past, that Felix has decided by now. Ghosts are stopped in time. Ghosts are memories, they can’t be from the future, because the future doesn’t haunt, it impends. Ghosts have once been. Felix has once been. He’s a book left open, his end came a little too abruptly for the reader in order to be satisfactory, and that is why he’s still here. Why he is a fragment. A memory. A melody from the past. A whisper in the wind. A gentle touch on Changbin’s shoulder.

“Hey, it’s your breaktime”, Felix mumbles at him. He has noticed in the past four days that Changbin is very bad at keeping track of his breaks, or time itself.
“The house is empty, and nobody seems to be coming in. Go.”
“Isn’t it your break, too?” Changbin arches his brow at Felix.
“Oh, I’m not hungry”, Felix smiles at him. He hasn’t felt hunger in twenty years. Sure, he can eat, it just… doesn’t do anything for him. He doesn’t even properly taste the food he eats. He’s sure that he doesn’t even actually taste the food, the taste is simply just a memory.
“But I didn’t see you eat anything yesterday, either?”
“I ate before getting here”, Felix smiles again. Please, buy the lie.

Felix has considered it, simply disappearing. Drawing back to the shadows, leaving all of them confused as to where he is and why isn’t he here. But the problem is that he doesn’t want to leave them confused. He doesn’t want to lie to them, he feels way too responsible. He can’t disappear now, even if it all is a hassle, even if he has to lie himself out of situations. Thankfully, so far Changbin hasn’t asked too much, Felix is good at leading the conversations in a way that gets Changbin talking, telling about himself instead of asking things about Felix.

“Alright”, Changbin shrugs before he gets up from his seat, squeezes past Felix and the wall. It doesn’t take more than a minute for him to get back, and when he does, he places a snack bar and a cup of hot chocolate in front of Felix. The look on his face is determined – Felix can’t say no.
“Don’t even try to say no. You look like you’re cold. Are you sure you don’t need a thicker jacket or something?” Changbin asks as he sits down, places his own lunchbox in front of him.
“Thank you”, Felix smiles at him again. “And it’s fine, I don’t feel cold.”
Changbin raises his brow again in a questioning manner. Felix opens the snack bar wrapper before he takes a drink from the steaming cup of hot chocolate. He can faintly taste it, and he knows it’s warm.
“Okay. Suit yourself”, Changbin mutters as he shoves some food into his mouth. Felix bites into the snack bar.

He has no idea what it’s supposed to taste like, so it doesn’t taste. Like anything. At all.

***

“Lix.”
“Hm?” Felix doesn’t show it, but the nickname shocks him. It rolls off Changbin’s tongue so effortlessly that Felix wants to lean into it. Hear him repeat it. And they have known each other for five days.
“Bosslady says we’re up on the cleaning task today.”
“Alright.” Oh no. Oh no, this is what Felix has feared. Cleaning task, it means he will have to stay behind with Changbin to clean the kitchen and see that there’s nothing too big to clean in the house, nothing to fix, for example. He had hoped he would have been assigned with someone else, that way he could have just disappeared, or that he would have been forgot completely. But not with Changbin. Changbin has heard it all by now, all of the excuses, he’s keen on taking Felix home with his car, but Felix always insists on walking, and therefore he has to come up with excuses. He’s running out of them. And he’s running out of them fast.

And as the last customers leave the house, frightened, but somehow very joyous (Felix has thought a lot about it in past days, what is it about experiencing fright with friends that is so funny to people), Felix closes the cash register and the laptop (which he has learnt to use with Changbin’s help, who has been kind enough to not ask too many questions as to why Felix doesn’t know how to use one). Changbin closes his computer as well, the actors start to get back to the kitchen from their hiding spots, they start getting rid of their clothes and overexaggerated makeup. It’s all laughter and warmth in the yellow kitchen light, and for a moment the house doesn’t really feel like it’s haunted.

“See you all tomorrow! Weekend’s coming up, gonna be busy! Felix and Changbin, Minho checked the basement already, no need to go there anymore!” The bosslady says as she marches out of the house, and slowly the others begin leaving, too. A different kind of dread settles into Felix’s guts.
“Let’s go, I don’t want to stay here alone any more time than I need to.”
Usually Felix simply disappears when those that are meant to clean up the house start going through the hallways. It takes them usually ten minutes max to walk through the house, and then they’re out, too. Felix has ten minutes to come up with an excuse to stay behind.

Changbin switches the lights on in the house. It’s very different to see the decorated hallways and rooms in full light than in the light meant to enhance the experience.
“Let’s go”, he mumbles as he begins to walk down the hallway, trying to look for anything that’s off, or any scattered candy wrappers or other things, dropped phones, anything. Felix trails after him, not really watching where he steps.
“Jesus, this house is really creepy”, Changbin mutters as they get up the stairs to the second floor. They peek into every room down the hallway, Felix can see the little girl sitting on the rocking chair next to the window, but he knows Changbin doesn’t see her. Felix hums as an answer.

Changbin is very nice, Felix has learned that in the past days. He doesn’t talk all that much to the other people, but he does talk to Felix. That could be because they work so close to each other, but it’s still nice. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, after all these years that don’t even feel like that many because Felix occasionally loses his grip on reality for months at a time and simply sleeps through weeks. But is he even part of reality? If he isn’t, he can’t really lose his grip on it, can he?

“So, where do you live?” Changbin asks. Felix notices how he slows down his steps a little, pushes his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie.
“U-um, just… close to the city center.” Not a lie, technically. They are pretty close to the city center.
“Oh, that’s nice. Not a long walk, then.”
“Mmhm.”
“Do you go to college here? I assume you’re past high school already.”
“Ah, I don’t, I… I’m working currently. I haven’t really… found a career I want to study.”
“Sounds great!” Changbin pushes a black curtain away, they check one of the smaller rooms along the hallway. Felix is feeling a bit uncomfortable.
“How about you?”
“Ah, I’m currently finishing my arts degree. Music technology. That’s what I study.”
“Sounds fun!” Felix smiles at him. They continue their way down the hallway, Felix can feel a slight gust of wind passing him, he knows it’s the lady of the pond. The other spirits in the house always get moving as the actors and workers leave the house.
“It’s very fun. It’s, um, I’m very passionate about it.”

The lights above them flicker a little, Felix notices how Changbin tenses up. He wants to tell him that there’s nothing to fear, but he can’t bring himself to do it. The ghosts in the house aren’t malevolent, they’re simply… there. They exist because they don’t know otherwise. They go through the bigger room, known as the master bedroom. It’s the room where Felix’s parents died. Felix doesn’t think about it too often anymore, but he doesn’t visit that room frequently, either. Changbin picks up a few receipt papers from the floor, they have most likely dropped from somebody’s pocket. The light wind makes the branches outside scrape against the window. The atmosphere is eerie, but only to Changbin.

They walk through the next room, and then they’re in the last room down the hallway. Felix’s room. Felix hesitates, just slightly before he steps over the threshold into the room. Changbin’s talking calms him a little, he’s telling about his line of work to Felix, which sounds very interesting. The room is quite small, it’s the last one they have left upstairs. After this they only have the living room downstairs and the bathrooms.

“It’s horrifying, isn’t it? What happened here, I mean”, Changbin then changes the topic, rather abruptly.
“It, uh, yes, it is”, Felix mutters. He can feel the slight shiver running down his spine.
“Do you know about the past of this house? About all of the stories surrounding it?”
“Most of them, yeah. I don’t think there’s anything in this room to see.” Felix doesn’t want to talk about his death with Changbin any more than he has to. Or other deaths that have happened in this house.
“Wasn’t the latest victim to die here also called Felix?” Changbin says as they exit the room.
“I- I don’t recall. I can’t remember”, Felix knows he’d be sweating if he was capable of doing so.
“I think he was. Lee Felix. And his parents. It’s really grim, a robbery gone wrong or something like that. And to think that he’s not even the only one to be murdered in this house…”
“Mmhm.” Felix hopes, truly hopes in his mind that Changbin is stupid enough and doesn’t make the connection in his mind.

Felix hurries down the stairs to the living room. The space has been made slightly smaller with the help of curtains. A murder scene has been staged there, but it’s only a work of fantasy and not based on realism. Probably.
“I remember when I was a kid, I heard about it. The murders, I mean, they were already in the past but something new had come up with the investigations or something. Maybe it was the time the murderers were jailed, I can’t remember. Anyway. I think you might even look like the killed boy. The pic is so blurry, I’ll have to look it up…”
Felix lets out a very nervous laugh. “Hah, freaky. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.”
“Mmhm, probably. Anyway, was that doll there yesterday?”
Felix glances at the corner Changbin is pointing at, but Changbin mistakes his fear for something entirely else.
“I’m kidding, Lix! It’s been there, I told Seungmin to put it there, it’s scary as shit. I don’t know why old dolls are so freaking scary.”
 Felix lets out another nervous laughter.

They check the bathrooms quickly, there’s nothing much to see as only the workers use them, really. Felix is running out of time, and he doesn’t have an excuse. They walk towards the door, and Felix feels more uneasy than he has in ages.
“So, you want me to drop you off at your home?” Changbin asks as he gathers his things, his laptop and all that.
“Ah, no need to, I’ll just walk, it’s not a long way, no need to bother”, Felix smiles.
“Lix, come on. You’ve slipped through my fingers every night now. I insist. I have a car and it’s cold outside and you’re only wearing a thin jacket. Let me at least drop you off at the mall.”
“No, I’m fine, no need to, hah”, Felix has no idea what to do, how to make Changbin leave without him. Changbin looks at him with eyes that say slightly disappointed, yet he doesn’t seem to believe Felix at all.
“I’m serious, Changbin. I like walking. I like the moonlight outside. And I like walking through the city when it’s dark.”
“But it’s not safe”, Changbin pouts. Oh, it is safe for Felix. He can’t even get out of the premises.
“I promise nothing will happen to me.”
“Like nothing happened to the boy murdered upstairs?”
Oh. The irony.
“I’m just walking, Changbin. It’s fine.”

They’re standing at the doorway, Changbin opens the door as he hoists his bag on his shoulder. Felix is nervously tugging the sleeves of his jacket.
“Come on, Felix. I’ve seen you. You always stay here as the very last. You say you’ve left your jacket inside, but you don’t even have one besides the one you’re wearing. What, you live here or something?”
That, that ignites a panic inside of Felix. He’s cornered, he has no idea what to say, how to get away from this. And he knows exactly what happens, when he panics.

“O-oh, what’s that, at the gate?”
Changbin turns to look, and Felix lets go.
“There’s nothing there, what are you saying- Felix? Felix! Where did you go?”

Felix hasn’t gone anywhere. Changbin is simply staring right through him.

***

Changbin doesn’t bring it up. He doesn’t say anything out of the ordinary, he simply greets Felix the next day and asks if he’s eaten. But Felix notices it, he’s a bit wary. He looks at Felix a bit differently. Perhaps he tries to rationalize it, how Felix managed to disappear in a split second, and because of the human mind’s strive for rationality, he will succeed. He’s going to think Felix doesn’t want to ride with him in his car, and he’s going to search for reasons for it, most likely ask when he has time or gathers the courage. He’s not going to think Felix is a ghost. He’s going to think he’s just a bit weird and doesn’t like cars.

In the midst of the stream of customers, as a small break approaches, he taps Felix’s shoulder.
“Hm?” Felix leans into the touch a bit, signaling that he’s listening.
“Hey, uhm, I wanted to apologize for yesterday”, Changbin says, quietly in order to not let the girl on the opposite side of the hallway hear them.
“N-no need to-“
“Yeah, I, I was very intrusive. And I kept on insisting you to ride with me and I just understood a little later how horrible that sounded. I swear I’m not a creep or anything like that, I just… well, I thought I’d like to talk to you more, you’re really nice.”
“O-oh?” Perhaps that… stings. It stings, but it doesn’t sting. It wrenches, but not in a bad way. It spreads warmth.
“So, yeah, I’m sorry. It’s fine if you want to walk. I just want you to be safe.”
“I’m safe, Changbin, it’s quiet on this side of the center anyway”, Felix cracks him a smile. It reaches his eyes, it warms his fingertips a little. He knows it shouldn’t do that.

“Promise?”
“I promise.”

***

Monday rolls in sooner than Felix anticipates it to. He doesn’t really keep up with the days, but last night everyone seemed thrilled to get one day of proper sleep with the free day, so he supposes it’s Monday now. The house is empty. It feels empty now that the haunting music isn’t ringing right through it, now that the actors aren’t screaming with the guests. Perhaps it feels odd now, Felix is already used to the clamor and laughter reverberating through the halls. But empty is nice, too. The other spirits get to roam freely again, the girl is playing in the living room with the staged murder scene, someone is going to notice tomorrow how things are a bit in different places. Felix is not going to stop her. He’s sitting at the window embrasure, leaning against the wall, other knee propped close to his chest. His eyes are closed. He enjoys the peace around him. He enjoys the clamor, too, but he isn’t sure which one he prefers. He’s long past the bitter envy he once got from seeing living people, so he doesn’t mind the people around him, he doesn’t feel jealous that they can leave the place and he can’t.

Not that he can even afford becoming bitter. Becoming bitter means anger, and anger means malevolence. He doesn’t want to become a malevolent ghost. One of those ones the horror movies are made about. He much prefers the quietness in the house, and the fleeting emotions he experiences that are more based on memories and nostalgia than actual feelings.

Felix wanders around, that’s what he usually does. He checks what the twins are doing, they’re playing, as always. The boy in the basement refuses to show up, but he has moved things around, the crew is going to have a wonderful time arranging their hanging sacks that are meant to be bodies back to their own places.

Felix doesn’t really bother with doors when he knows there’s only ghosts around him. It is the easiest to be in a somewhat… transparent form. Or completely invisible. Having a solid body means holding energy within, but when he’s not solid, he doesn’t have to hold on to that energy. It’s weird and he doesn’t really know how to explain it. Holding on to energy is a bit exhausting, but nothing too bad, Felix is just fine doing it during the workdays, he can go for several weeks, but after that he needs rest. And rest means just… well, existing, but not visibly. Sleeping. Tucking into the soft armchair downstairs and staring out of the window for weeks on end.

Felix hears a noise from upstairs, figures it’s probably the girl. He walks- no, not walks, floats upstairs, a centimeter or two above the surface of the stairs (he can’t fly, he’s tried, he can just somewhat float a bit above ground level when he’s not solid). He passes the door leading to the other living room (there’s two of them and Felix isn’t really sure which one of them is supposed to be the real living room), then he walks through the kitchen, passes through the door to the hallway and-

“What the fuck!”
Felix lets out a shrill screech as he gets scared and vanishes as the panic builds. For some reason he also tries to cover his head, as if that would somehow help him get away from the intruder.
“What the fuck, what, what the fucking fuck, what the fuck-“
Changbin is there. He’s there, clutching to the strap of his bag and looking like he has been frightened out of his skin, like his life is just about to leave him. He’s staring at the place Felix was just at, staring right through him.
“F-Fe- what the fuck, what the hell, how did you, where, where did you go, why- that’s a door, that’s a fucking door what the fuck, what the fuck-“

Fuck. Fucking hell, Changbin had seen him, he had seen Felix pass through the door. This is what Felix has feared, oh my god, oh no. Changbin takes a step back, he looks like he’s about to flee.
“I’m going crazy, Jesus Christ I’m going crazy, what the fuck, what the everloving fuck is going on here-“ Changbin mumbles to himself, eyes darting, gaze flickering all around him.

Felix can’t let him go now, he, he has to tell him, make him believe, or otherwise the crew is going to lose a music technician and Felix is sure it can’t afford that.

Slowly, very slowly, he starts to turn back to solid. Changbin’s gaze fixates on him the second his form starts to take color, first a ghostly, blueish hue, slowly turning to different colors, Felix’s green jacket, his blue jeans, the almost sickly pale of his skin. Changbin doesn’t move. He looks too scared to. Soon Felix is complete, and he has no idea what to say to Changbin to make him stay put and not run out of the door and out of the premises of the house.

“What the fuck”, Changbin whimpers.
“Please don’t freak out”, Felix whimpers back. Changbin opens his mouth, closes it, opens it again, he’s clearly pondering whether he should run out of the house or stay put.
“Felix.”
“Changbin.”
“Felix, please tell me why the fuck you just- walked through a fucking door?!”
Felix simply stares at Changbin for a moment.
“I think you know why”, he then mumbles.
“Why the fuck did you just vanish and then appear out of the thin air? Why the fuck are you always staying back and the first one at work? Please tell me Felix that I’m not only imagining all of this. Please tell me I’m not going crazy.” Changbin sounds like he’s on the brink of panic.
“You’re not going crazy.”

Changbin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Felix doesn’t have to do that anymore.
“What the fuck”, he hisses through his teeth as he opens his eyes, looking somewhat scared that Felix is still standing there, in front of the door he had just walked through.
“I’m sorry?” Felix tries, smiles a little awkwardly.
“You’re-“
Felix nods. Changbin has a hard time saying it out loud.
“You are. You- you are a ghost.”
“I am.”

Changbin looks like he’s about to faint.
“Please don’t freak out. Or faint”, Felix hurries to say. “I’m not going to hurt you. Or anyone else.”
“Okay. Alright. Um. Okay. You are. A ghost. You are a ghost that lives in this house. A ghost. Felix is a ghost. Ghosts are real. Ghosts are fucking real, what the fuck”, Changbin mumbles, more to himself than to Felix.
“I’m still the same Felix who you have sat by for the past week”, Felix tries again. He honestly has no idea what he’s doing, he’d like to touch Changbin’s shoulder to signal that he is, in fact, real and not some fragment of imagination, but he’s afraid he’d freak out even more.

That seems to work. Changbin’s gaze focuses on Felix again and he nods. Then he nods again. He clearly has a hard time believing all of this. Felix takes a step to his left and opens the door leading to the kitchen.
“I think we should sit down”, he says and motions with his hand for Changbin to walk into the kitchen. He hesitates for a brief second so Felix steps into the kitchen first and sits on one of the stools around the creaky kitchen table. The fridge is on, it hums in the corner. The sun peeks through the clouds and casts gentle shadows in the kitchen. Changbin then follows Felix and sits on the stool across from him. He places his bag on the floor, his gaze never leaving Felix.

“I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to say”, he mumbles then.
“I- I don’t either, really. I’ve never- nobody, um, knows about me.”
“What, who- where- no.” The realization seems to hit Changbin then. “You, you’re the boy, the-“
Felix nods.
“You’re the, upstairs, you’re the murdered boy. Lee Felix. You’re him.”
Felix nods again and Changbin looks again like he’s going to freak out.
“Oh my fucking god. I’m, I’m so sorry, I-“
Felix shakes his head then. “No need to apologize.”
“I, fuck, and here I was blabbering about the murders to you and-“
“Changbin, it’s fine.”

Changbin clearly doesn’t know what he should do with himself. He keeps tugging the sleeves of his hoodie, fidgeting on his seat.
“You have a thousand questions”, Felix says then.
“More like a hundred thousand”, Changbin mumbles and Felix giggles at him lightly. That seems to break some of the ice, a small smile tugs the corners of Changbin’s mouth.
“I don’t, I don’t even know where to begin.”
But Felix does. He offers Changbin his hand to touch. Changbin hesitates a little before he takes Felix’s hand on his own. It’s an odd sensation, warm against cold. It lingers on Felix’s skin, Felix can feel the warmth, but it doesn’t sink in.
“It’s cold”, Changbin whispers as he holds Felix’s hand.
“It is.” He can see the moment Changbin understands the cold. It’s the cold of death he’s feeling. Felix is dead. He is a ghost.

“How do you- so you, you’re solid and”, with his other hand Changbin touches Felix’s jacket, feels the material. It feels like a normal windbreaker. It’s forest green, and Felix has worn it ever since that night. “And then you’re not.”
“It’s, uh, hard to explain. I guess I can sort of… control it. When I’m solid and when… not.”
“So all the stories about this place are real? All of the… ghost stories and-?”
Changbin still hasn’t let go of Felix’s hand. Felix shrugs.
“Some of them have roots in reality, yes. But I doubt most of them are true. The ghosts living here aren’t… scary.”
“There’s more?!” Changbin’s voice raises a little in pitch. Felix nods.
“Kids, all of them. Nothing to fear, nothing to worry about. I doubt you’ll see them, they’re all very shy.”
Felix squeezes Changbin hand a bit, hopes the touch feels reassuring enough.
“Okay. Alright”, Changbin sucks in a breath.

“How does it- so you’re just here?” He asks then.
“Yes. I can’t leave the property. I’m somehow… tied to this house.”
“And you have been here the whole time.”
Felix nods again.
“How come, the first day… you weren’t expecting us?”
“No.”
Changbin seems to notice he’s still holding Felix’s hand, so he quickly lets go. Felix notices how his cheeks tint a little reddish.

“A-and two nights ago, you…”
“I got scared and… vanished. It’s like, um, a reaction to panic, I guess. Just like… at the door a moment ago. I got scared and when I get scared I turn transparent to shield myself away from anything and everything.”
“How come you didn’t do that when we showed up a week ago?”
Felix shrugs.
“I think I was faster to realize that there’s a bunch of people and instead of paying attention to me, they just dashed in and thought I was part of you and… well, I understood I just couldn’t vanish because then all of you would have probably freaked out and then there would have been stories and I don’t want any outsiders coming here and playing with their stupid boards trying to contact us. Me, specifically, most often.”
Perhaps Felix has a lot to say about ghosthunters. Especially the teenagers that try to contact any of them with spiritism.

“Okay. Alright. Just gotta, uhh, make sure you won’t get scared in the upcoming weeks.” Changbin nods, as if making a mental note out of that. Felix laughs lightly.
“It’s fine, I know to expect you all and, well, you caught me off guard today, I was just… seeing how the boy in the basement is doing-“
“The boy in the basement?”
“Yes. He’s a bit of a troublemaker, he’s the one who’s been messing with the music lately. He’s not malevolent, though, just… well, he’s seven years old. You know how seven-year-olds are. Anyway, yeah, you caught me off guard and I got scared and then you got scared and now we’re here. Sorry about scaring you. If I had known you were here I… wouldn’t have been here.”
“That’s, um, that’s the reason I came here, really…” Changbin is blushing again, just slightly.
“Oh?” Felix is a bit taken aback by that. Not by the blush, but by being the reason for Changbin’s visit.

“It’s a bit stupid, it’s just, umm, me and Minho and Jisung and Seungmin were talking and we noticed that… well, you’re always the first one here and the last one to stay and so, we thought that… you might live here actually. Like that you’re homeless. Or something. Since the electricity still works here and the water and all that and… well, yeah. I just wanted to come check up on here that you’re not actually living here but… well, you are. You sure are living here.”
Felix snorts at the slightly embarrassed look on Changbin’s face. Changbin rubs the back of his neck, suddenly very interested in the marks etched on the surface of the table.
“It’s not stupid, it’s sweet. But yeah, you’re right. I live here. If I can call it living. But, I, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t… tell anyone else.”
“Of course! I mean, I swear, I’m not going to say a word if you don’t want to! Hell, that would be a mess…”
Oh, Felix can only imagine.

There’s a brief silence, during which Changbin simply stares at Felix, and Felix has no other choice than to stare back. He honestly has no idea what he’s supposed to say in this situation.
“I just- I’m sorry but this is a lot to take in”, Changbin then mumbles.
“I know”, oh, Felix knows. Took him half of a year to really understand it all.

As if on cue, Changbin’s phone rings, scaring the both of them. Changbin rambles for it, but doesn’t answer the incoming call.
“Shit, it’s Chan, I gotta get going.”
Felix nods and stands up from the stool. He intends to see Changbin out as if he were a visitor. Well, that’s what he is, really. And Felix is the master of the house. And now Changbin knows it, too. Felix opens the door for him and Changbin clearly hesitates a bit before stepping out.

“See you tomorrow, I guess?”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow”, Felix smiles. Changbin looks like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how to say it.
“Come on, your friends are waiting for you, go. I’ll be here tomorrow, I promise.”
“Will you be alright?” Changbin asks in a very small voice. What an odd question.
“Of course. I’ve been alright for the past twenty years”, Felix smiles. The question still warms his heart a little. “Now go, don’t keep your friends waiting.”

In the end, he watches Changbin walk down the path to the gates. At the gates he turns around and waves at Felix, and Felix waves back at him.

Well. Now one person knows about him. Huh. What a funky feeling.

***

“So you don’t need to eat.”
“No.”
“Nor breathe.”
“Not really. It’s just something I still occasionally do.”
They’re sitting at the stairs, next to each other. To Felix’s delight, Changbin has come to the house an hour before the others start arriving. Their knees are almost touching each other.
“And that’s why you don’t eat during your breaks…”, Changbin mumbles.
“I’m not sure if it’s bad or good that you have been keeping up with my doings during the workdays.”
“Well you’re right there! Beside me! How can I not!” Changbin gets defensive, but there’s laughter on the high of his browbone.

“And you can’t leave this place.”
“No.”
“What happens if you try?”
“I get sort of… teleported back to the last room on the left upstairs.”
“Where you…?”
“Where I died.”
“Damn. That’s dark.”
Felix laughs. It is dark. But it’s his reality, and he’s used to it.

“I, um, just tell me if these questions get too invasive, but I just… I had to look it up and… well, do you remember your death?”
It’s almost funny, how just a week ago Changbin was telling everything about his job and life in general and now the tables have completely turned. Completely. And Felix had thought it would never happen, that he’d never talk to anyone… living.
“I don’t.”
Changbin raises his brow just slightly, encouraging Felix to elaborate.
“I don’t. I remember what happened prior to it, but not all of it. Then there’s a break in my memory and the next time I remember is almost two months after when I was starting to sort of… get conscious again.”
“Oh. So do you… know what happened?”
“Yeah. I mean,  I don’t remember it, but I heard it from the investigators and multiple people who have visited and tried to contact me or talked about what happened in this house and… yeah. I do know what happened.”

There’s a bit of an awkward silence then.
“You’re wondering where the rest of my body is, aren’t you?”
“I mean, not necessarily, but it’s been… very thoroughly discussed in internet forums and people are curious since half of it is… gone.”
“There’s forums about me?”
“Plenty.”
“Oh. Fascinating. It’s buried in the well in the backyard.”
“That’s it?”
“Yeah.”  

See, Felix’s death wasn’t a peaceful one, oh no. He had got back from his nightshift only to come to a house in total chaos. He had been very tired and distraught and ran right to his room before he had even thought to go check on his parents – only to get attacked by the three people who had broken into their house. Back then he hadn’t known that his parents had already been dead the moment he had stepped into the house, he only found that out later. And as for his death, his throat had been slit, so deep his head had nearly been severed off. Then the burglars, or well, murderers had tried to get rid of the bodies and dismember them, but the three people hadn’t got far and only managed to get rid of half of Felix’s body before the sun had started to rise and they had had to flee. So, when the police had come, they had only found half of Felix and for some reason they hadn’t found the rest of him from the well in the backyard. Sloppy policework, or lack of resources, Felix isn’t sure which one is the reason for it. Not like it matters now, he’s stuck in the house, no matter where his body is.

“Damn. So… do you have any… like signs or… I don’t know. From the. Death.”
Felix nods. He unzips his windbreaker, just enough to reveal his neck to Changbin. There’s a scar going almost from ear to ear and Changbin shivers when he sees it. The scar is usually covered by Felix’s hair and the neck of his jacket, thankfully.
“Fuck…” he curses under his breath.
“It’s alright, I can’t feel it. I don’t feel pain.”
“Well that’s good, I guess.”
Changbin has still a bit of a hard time grasping it all. Felix doesn’t blame him, not at all.
“Is the… Is the shirt um, supposed to be red?”

Felix pauses for a brief moment before he shakes his head. It is not, it’s supposed to be white.
“Oh. And you have worn it all this time?”
“I don’t really have a choice, I guess. There are no clothes in the house apart from some old moth-eaten nightgowns in the attic. I’d rather look like a normal boy than a ghost from the beginning of the nineteenth century. All of us are wearing the clothes we had on when we died. Or well, I wasn’t wearing the jacket, I found it afterwards from my closet before our relatives came to clean the house up.”
Changbin snorts. “Okay, fair, nightgowns would only add to the cliché.”
“You’re right”, Felix grins again. Then he hears voices from the outside and knows their time together is up.

“Oh no. Time to get this house haunted again, I guess.”
Felix glances at Changbin who has an expectant look on his face. A whole three seconds passes before Felix bursts to laughter. Haunted. Wow. So they were past the shocked-base already and were making jokes to cope now. The door opens and Minho marches in, Jisung after him.
“Oh? You’re here early, Changbin!”
“Oh, hey, Felix! You’re early, too!” Felix notices it, the curious undertone. Why is Felix always early? Why is he always there, in the house?

***

“Hey.”
“Hey”, Felix smiles. He smiles a lot at Changbin these days, he’s noticed it during these past few days they have worked together ever since Changbin found out who Felix really was. It’s an hour before work again and Changbin is early again, just like every day in the past three days.
“I, uh, I got you these.” Changbin hands Felix a plastic bag, Felix doesn’t recognize the logo on it. He takes the bag and takes a peek inside; there’s… fabric? No. Clothes.
“No, Changbin you don’t have to-“
“It’s alright. Most of that stuff are my old clothes, and I also went thrift-shopping with my sister and bought a few pieces.”
“Changbin…”
“Felix. I just thought it would be nice for you to change to a not-blood-soaked shirt. And since you can’t leave this place… so, here you go.”

Felix feels… odd. He feels odd, and he rarely feels all that much these days. He feels… warm. He feels cared about, and it feels odd. He wants to hug Changbin, very tightly, but he isn’t sure if Changbin wants to hug him. After all, Felix is very cold. Not very huggable.

“Thank you”, he says, but it comes out cracked because he hasn’t received this sort of kindness in a very long time, and Changbin notices it. Of course he notices it, he seems to notice a lot of things.

And before Felix really registers it, he’s in a warm embrace. Carefully he wraps an arm around Changbin to answer the hug that feels so strange but so, so, so… lovely.
“It’s alright. I hope they’re your size. You’re pretty small, so the hoodies I have are probably big but… they’re cozy. Or at least I think they are.”
“I, I’m sure they’re fine. Thank you, Changbin.”

***

Changbin’s clothes fit Felix very well. Sure, some of them are a tad too big, but luckily Changbin has also brought Felix a belt to use with the jeans. He has also bought plenty of shirts with polo necks, and a few scarves for Felix to hide his scar with. Felix hides all of the clothes in the attic so that none of the workers will find them. That would be a bit awkward.

Changbin looks a bit weird as he arrives the next day (and apologizes that he wasn’t able to come earlier as he had had to go help his sister with something). He eyes Felix with a lot of… interest. Felix’s wearing one of his own hoodies, isn’t he? It’s a bit big, the sleeves reach over his fingers, he’s wearing a white polo underneath. It’s warm in a weird way.
“Hey, Changbin, is that your hoodie?” Jisung asks as he passes by them.
“Uh, it’s um, a similar one”, Changbin is quick to lie to Jisung. Felix hides his smile as well as he can, notices Changbin doing the same. It’s their shared little secret. And perhaps that feels… wonderful.

***

As it turns out, Changbin makes a habit out of visiting Felix and spending as much time with him as he is able to. He starts getting to the house earlier and earlier as the week passes, he even starts staying later and Felix has to usher him out to go to sleep in his own apartment. It’s a bit weird to Felix, but then Changbin blurts out that he can’t stop thinking that Felix has spent twenty years in the house alone and he can’t fathom that type of loneliness, so he wants to spend time with him as much as possible. And then he says that he likes Felix’s company, which is even weirder because who on earth would enjoy the company of a ghost?

They also very quickly figure out that Felix is very behind in… everything. He died twenty years ago and hasn’t left the house since. He doesn’t know about the trends. He doesn’t know about what’s new in music, he doesn’t know what has happened in the world during the past 20 years. So Changbin teaches him everything he can think of. He shows him stuff, videos, teaches him to use the computer properly. Then he shows his phone, which works simply by touch and that is so freaky!

Except it doesn’t work with Felix’s touch. It works with using body heat and Felix doesn’t have that, so the phone doesn’t work underneath his fingertips. They also figure out that Felix can’t talk into a phone, or be in the vicinity of a phone when it’s used, because otherwise both of the people will hear just static. Which is why Changbin brings his old ‘tablet’ to Felix along with a stylus pen and then it works for him, too! And that is exciting, but also so very overwhelming and Felix makes a decision to not touch the news sites except for once in the mornings because otherwise he’s just going to get overwhelmed and fall down a rabbit hole of endless research.

But learning about the world… it’s also a bad thing. It ignites something buried deep, deep within Felix, something he has thought he had got over. Jealousy. Yearning. Longing to go out and experience things, not just see them from the screen of the tablet. He tries to push those feelings as far as he can, because he fears becoming bitter. He’s tied to the house, that’s a fact and he’s never going to leave the premises until the world forgets about him and he can finally move on. But still, it’s just… it’s unfair. Changbin talks about all of these places, that one corner café he often visits, another café which has dogs in it (oh, how Felix would love to visit one!), a pretty bridge which has beautiful lights in it and all that. And Felix would love to visit these places, preferably with Changbin, but he can’t. He’s stuck. And he’s always going to be stuck.

But then Changbin dashes in with that smile of his again (he’s learned to knock a few times before he opens the door, just to signal Felix it’s him and not someone else, someone who’s not wanted in the house) and Felix forgets the ugly stir inside of him as Changbin sits down at the kitchen table with him and plays him music or talks about the dog he met on his way to the house. Changbin’s eyes get very sparkly when he talks about the things he likes.

His laugh also makes Felix’s insides flutter in a way that Felix can’t really explain.

***

What are houses? Walls and windows and a door and a hearth? Is that the definition of a house? Can houses be something else? They can surely be made of different materials, wood and concrete and steel and moss. Can they be made of flesh? Are humans houses? People, just like houses, can be haunted. Is the definition of a house that it is something that can be haunted? Houses bring memories, they’re full of nostalgia, and if they aren’t yet, they will be in the future. So do people. People bring memories, they awaken nostalgia, they hurt and kill and love and define. So do houses. And both of them are haunted. All of them are haunted.

Houses most often have something occupying them. Houses have something living in them, taking up space for themselves. It can be furniture. It can be little souls. It can be bigger souls. Felix occupies the house on the hill along with a few other souls. His soul is occupied by smaller things, memories, nostalgia, hauntings from the past. Houses are human, humans are houses, they’re both occupying and being occupied. There’s desire, there’s loneliness, there’s guilt and happiness and lies and truths and bones and beliefs. Humans are houses. Houses are human.

Throughout the next few days Felix notices Changbin’s eyes lingering on him instead of the laptop screen when they spend time alone.

***

They watch movies. They sit close to each other. They eat candy which taste Felix can still remember, candy from his childhood. Felix continues wearing Changbin’s clothes instead of his own, those feel almost strange to him now. Well, perhaps not strange, it’s just… Felix likes the look on Changbin’s face when he pulls the sleeves over his fingertips. And of course, there’s work. Steadily, the amount of customers keeps growing each day the further they get into October. The boy in the basement keeps messing up with Changbin’s radio. The workers have started to notice things going missing, moving to other places when they’re not at work. Felix doesn’t say anything, but he does nudge Changbin in the shoulder whenever he nearly starts to laugh at the remarks.

They do all kinds of things, but sometimes they just sit. Sit and talk. Changbin has familiarized himself with the house, and so he has familiarized himself with Felix enough to pry further. He is curious, Felix knows that, and perhaps Felix is… glad he has someone to talk to.

It is after work; the clock is way too much but Changbin insists on staying at least a little longer. They have been chosen as the clean-up crew for the night, which leads them to Felix’s room, but instead of going further, they decide to stay there. Or rather, Changbin does as he sits on Felix’s bed after examining the room a bit (most of the furniture is still there as it had been since Felix had still been alive). The strings of the bed creak under Changbin’s weight, they don’t do that as Felix sits down. Felix doesn’t know why, even if he is in his… solid form. They sit very close to each other, their knees brush together. It feels nice. Changbin is warm. Felix is not.

“What was the hardest thing about… all of this?” Changbin asks. He eyes the spot on the floor, the spot where the floorboards are a bit darker. He’s seen the pictures from the crime scene, he’s told that to Felix, but Felix doesn’t want to see them. He doesn’t want to know anything, not even the names of his killers, because he doesn’t want to become bitter or vengeful.

Felix shrugs.
“Grieving for my own death”, he answers, then.
“Huh?” Changbin doesn’t understand, of course he doesn’t, but Felix knows by now that he is willing to try.
“You know, um, your whole life, they spend it prepping you for the day you’re going to lose your loved ones. They show death on TVs, they talk about it, they symbolize death with colors and celebrate it in various ways. They prep you for the day it comes, because it does, for everyone, the day when you need to say goodbye to someone close. But it’s always that. It’s always someone close. It’s never you.”
“Go on.”
“They always say that grieving is hard. And it is hard, it’s very tiring and it’s sad and aching and it hurts so much you feel like you’re going to die. Your entire life you spend time preparing yourself for that grief, whether it is conscious or unconscious. But they don’t prepare you for your own death. They don’t tell you how hard it actually is to grieve for yourself.”

“It was harder for me to grieve for myself than for my parents. I guess mostly because I was left here and they weren’t, they got to… well, I don’t know. I still don’t know what happens after death, I don’t know where they have gone, if they’re reincarnated or in some sort of heaven or anything like that. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m still here, without them, because this house seems to like young people. All of the other spirits here are kids. I’m the oldest one. Yet the newest one.”

“When I died, I… It took me almost two months, if not three to restore some kind of consciousness. And after that it took over half of a year for me to gain some sort of solid form, because I was so confused and angry and bitter and hurt by what had happened to me. You don’t expect it. You don’t expect the blade to slit your throat at the age of twenty-one and end all of it, and because it’s so sudden, it hurts. It hurts so bad, it feels so unfair that you’re robbed of sixty years, and then you don’t even get out. No, you stay here. You’re stuck in this house, and there’s no way out. During the first year, I tried it all. I tried burning my own bones. I tried to run past the gates at every hour of the day, I tried to summon things and get out. Nothing worked. And so, I grieved.”

“After three winters it started to get a little easier. I didn’t feel so bitter anymore, I sort of… started accepting what had happened. But it’s… well, it still sometimes stings. To think that right now I could be forty years old and live and love and experience, but now I just. I don’t. I’m here. I’m not alive, but I’m not exactly dead either. I’m conscious, I have feelings, I experience things that happen in this house. And that is the life I am left with. It sometimes still hurts but, well… it’s not like I’ve ever been given a choice.”

Changbin’s eyes are so full of pity Felix feels like he’s drowning. He doesn’t think he deserves that pity – things just are how they are, and they’re beyond his control. This house has chosen him to occupy it, so he does. Then Changbin pulls him into a hug, and Felix is pretty sure the hug is more for Changbin than for him. Felix has accepted his fate. Changbin has yet to do so.
“I’m sorry I just, I have no idea what to say”, he mumbles. Felix lets his head droop, he presses his forehead against Changbin’s shoulder and hopes the hug he gives back to Changbin isn’t too cold. He likes this. Changbin’s embrace. It feels so… right. Felix feels like fits there perfectly, just as Changbin does in his arms.

“You don’t have to say anything. I wouldn’t know what to say either if I was in your place”, Felix mutters back. It’s peaceful, the rain thrumming against the windows only increasing the peace around them. Felix has always been fond of weather like this – autumn rains, wind creaking the trees and velvety darkness that comes with the night. Perhaps he has always been destined to become a ghost.

Changbin pulls back all too soon, just a little. He remains closer than before, though, Felix notices it. Felix notices his eyes wandering, studying his features. A small smile tugs the corner of his mouth as he studies Felix’s freckles.
“I’m glad they’re still… prominent”, he mumbles, quietly. Soon he raises a hand, lightly touches Felix’s skin, swipes his cheek with his thumb as if to see that they actually are there. It’s a gentle touch, it’s warm, and it tugs Felix’s heartstrings a lot more than would be acceptable.
“I’m glad about that, too”, Felix mutters back. There’s a silence which feels a lot more pressuring than it ever has in between Felix and Changbin. Most of their silences have been easy. This one is not.

“Why are you here, Changbin?” Felix asks then. He’s thought a lot about it, what keeps bringing Changbin in the house? Why is he here, occupying these hallways with Felix?
“Why do you keep coming back?”
Felix thinks he should scare Changbin. Ghosts are scary, and it’s only natural for a human to fear the unexplainable. But Changbin doesn’t fear him.
“I like your company”, Changbin says, lets his hand drop on the mattress, only millimeters away from Felix’s own hand.
“I like your company. And I don’t like the thought of you being alone here.”
Just like he had earlier said. But there has to be something in it. Changbin loses sleep because of Felix, and it doesn’t feel right.
“But there’s… I’m not even good company”, Felix mumbles then. “I keep you from getting sleep. You already work ungodly hours, you said so yourself.”

“Yeah, but I don’t really get to see you anywhere else, do I?” It stings. It shouldn’t, but it does. “I like your company. I like that you laugh at my jokes and that you listen to me. And I like listening to you. You’re very… different from most people, you know? And it’s not because you’re a ghost, it’s just… it’s your personality. I like it. I like spending time with you.”
“I… I like spending time with you, too.”

***

He does. He does like spending time with Changbin, up to the very point that he hears his car turning to the yard a few hours before work starts and he realizes that he’s feeling. He’s feeling, he can feel the stir inside of him which feels anything but horrible. It feels exciting. He all but runs to the door, tries to hide his excitement that Changbin is finally here again, and it’s at that point that Felix realizes that all of the hours he spends without the other, he longs for him. He longs for his company. He longs for his hugs, for his laughter, for the way he sometimes holds Felix’s hand when they walk through the hallways.

And that. That frightens Felix to his very core.

***

“The others are asking.”
“Hm?”
“About… you. Us.”
“What about it?”
“Well, Minho has noticed that I spend a lot of time here, and he thinks it’s weird. He also thinks it’s very weird that you’re always here, he’s noticed it. And he’s noticed stuff moving. And anyway, he’s told the others and now they think I’m going crazy. Or something.”
“Do you trust them?”
“Huh?”
“Your friends. Do you trust them?”
“With all of my life?”
“Bring them here, then.”
“Felix? Are you sure?”
“Yeah. If you trust them, then so do I. Bring them here and I’ll… I don’t know. We’ll give them an explanation.”

***

Felix is scared. He isn’t sure if he’s a lot scared or just a little. It’s morning, they have a few hours before work starts again, Changbin messaged Felix earlier on the tablet thing (yes, there’s wi-fi in the house, they need it for the tour) that they’d be coming today. All of them. Some of them Felix already knows, Jisung plays as him in the tour, Minho is part of the security team and Seungmin is in the costume crew. The other three are strangers to Felix. It was three, right? Yes, Changbin has mentioned that there are seven of them.

He hears talking from outside, then a bit of laughter and excitement (and nausea) stirs inside of him. He’s in the living room, and he isn’t sure if he should hurry to the front door or not. Changbin and his friends are faster, though, because then there’s a few knocks on the wood before the door creaks open.
“Felix! We’re here”, Changbin calls out to him. Felix takes a few shy steps towards the hallway.
“Changbin, I swear to god this place freaks me the fuck out, why the hell are we here? I don’t want to take part in your stupid tour.”
“Shut up, Hyunjin, our tour is amazing.” The first voice is stranger to Felix, the next one he recognizes to belong to Jisung.

Then Felix steps from the living room to the hallway, and immediately he’s met with seven guys looking at him, all around his age.
“Um. Hi”, he mutters out.
“Hello, Felix”, Minho says. He’s got a somewhat mean grin on his lips. He has that very often, Felix has found out.
“So you really live here? What the hell?” Jisung blurts out and Changbin gives him the coldest stare Felix has ever seen.

It’s awkward. It’s very awkward, and Felix has absolutely no idea what to say.
“Um, so, yeah, uhh, well, as some of you have been asking, I’ve been here a lot. At this house and, not, um, not just because of work.”
Not the route Felix would have taken. Changbin steps to stand next to him.
“Yeah, uh, this is Felix and… he sort of lives here.”
“Sort of?”
“I don’t have any other choice than to live here”, Felix says. A silence falls.
“So, are you like homeless or something? Because we can help. This place is way too creepy to live in”, Jisung says. Felix feels even more awkward now.
“I’m… I’m not homeless.” Felix tugs the sleeves of his hoodie. Changbin’s hoodie. His hoodie.

“Uh, can we, um, sit somewhere. I think it would be great to sit somewhere”, Changbin says then.
“Changbin, you’re acting weird”, a guy with curly hair says.
“I am weird, Chan, in case you haven’t noticed it this far into our friendship.”
“No offense but I don’t want to take even a step further into this house. Sorry to whoever lives here.”
“Hyunjin, nobody’s going to catch you. The stories are just stories.”
Well. Technically, they are stories, sure, but…

They finally manage to move from the hallway to sit around the kitchen table. There aren’t enough places to sit for everyone, but the Chan guy and Minho decide to stand by, lean against the counter in front of the window. Kitchen is good, it’s the gentlest house in the room, and the six of them are going to need gentle very soon.
“So, uh, you know Minho and Jisung and Seungmin by now.”
Felix nods at Changbin.
“That guy over there is Chan, then there’s Hyunjin”, the pretty one who didn’t want to come in the house, “and Jeongin”, who looks like a fox. At least to Felix.
“Everyone, this is Felix, as I already said and Minho said and anyway. Felix is a friend of mine and he works here as the cashier and… um…”
Changbin glances at Felix, clearly looking for support, so Felix nods at him, gently nudges his leg with his own as they’re sitting next to each other.
“And… Felix is a ghost.”

There’s an ever longer silence, which is then broken by Minho.
“No, he isn’t. I told you all, he’s going crazy.”
There’s a hint of panic in Changbin’s eyes and Felix can recognize it (what if this isn’t real, what if I’ve only imagined Felix, what if he actually isn’t right next to me), so he does what he knows he has to do.
“Changbin, give me your hand”, he says. Changbin holds his hand out, a bit of an odd look on his face. Then Felix focuses, puts his palm above Changbin’s, hovers it just above it.

Then he slowly lets go of the energy he’s gathered, but only partially, only on his hand. And after that, he presses his hand right through Changbin’s.

The silence is even deeper now. Felix lifts his hand next to his face, waves it a little. It’s slightly more transparent than he actually is. It’s almost see-through.
“Seungmin. Give me your hand”, Felix says then, because Seungmin is sitting on his other side. Seungmin looks pretty freaked out, but holds his hand out nevertheless. Felix does the same to him, presses his hand through Seungmin’s hand. There’s a collective gasp around him, and Felix is glad the Hyunjin boy is sitting down, because he looks like he’s about to faint.

“I am a ghost. I died in this house twenty years ago”, Felix then says and collects the energy again, turns solid. He receives only silence and knows the others are pondering whether to run straight out of the door or to throw something at Felix.
“I’m not going to harm you, neither is this house. I just live here. And I have lived here for twenty years and… yeah. I’m dead.”

“What the fuck”, Minho whispers. He can’t seem to believe his eyes. Felix feels a nudge on his right, Seungmin pokes him on his shoulder.
“I’m going to die. Ghosts are real. What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck-“
“Hyunjin, you’re not dying”, Changbin mutters and eyes Felix. Felix only shakes his head, it’s alright, Hyunjin’s words don’t hurt him.
“Oh my god. Oh- oh fuck”, Jisung drags in a breath that sounds a bit strained. “Oh fuck, oh no, I’m sorry, I’m so so so sorry, you’re Felix, you’re Lee Felix, you’re, you’re the guy who died upstairs and playing as you, oh my god, I’m sorry I am so so so very sorry-“
“Jisung, it’s fine”, Felix smiles at him. “You’re doing a great job with your acting. I’m not mad. Quite the opposite, you’ve received plenty of praise from the customers with your shrieks of terror.”

*

They tour the house. All eight of them, when Changbin’s friends finally get over their shock. Everyone wants to try it, how it feels when Felix puts a hand through theirs. Apparently it’s like a stream of cold water going through their hands. Then Felix makes them all swear that they will stay quiet about this, he doesn’t need any more teenagers going ghost hunting in the house. They visit where Felix died, they tour the house a little and Felix tells them how it is being a ghost. He’s told the same things to Changbin, so now he tells them to his friends. They’re all very fascinated and in a way, understanding. Jisung is very sorry, he almost tears up when Felix shows his scar to the rest of them. They end up sitting in the living room, Changbin next to Felix again, simply talking. About Felix, mostly. But Felix asks about them, too, what they do, where they are headed in life, how they all became friends. And there’s warmth. The guys are very funny and friendly, and it makes it a little worse again. Felix can’t have this. He is a ghost. They are not.

“So how does it… like how do you stay there? Why are you here, if you don’t mind me asking?” The curly-haired guy, Chan, who’s sitting a bit too close to Minho to be just friends, asks. Changbin shoots him a look that says he’s too invasive, but Felix only shakes his head. It’s fine.
“It’s fine. I don’t… I don’t know. You know how they always say that those who still had something to achieve, something to do or they were in the midst of something and it didn’t get completed, stay here. I don’t have that. I mean, at least I don’t think I have, I just had a week of work ahead of me and… yeah. Then I died. I wasn’t in the midst of something, I don’t hold grudges for anyone, or anything like that. I think the… well, I think the answer for me staying here lies in the house’s past rather than mine. I think it’s the house that wants me to stay here.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. I mean, I’m not alone in this house, there are a few-“
“There are more ghosts?!” Hyunjin shrieks, clutches Jisung who’s sitting next to him.
“There are”, Felix gently smiles at him. “But they’re all children. Or… well, I’m the oldest one, I think, I’m not a child but I don’t feel exactly adult either. So there’s only young people staying as spirits in the house, but I know for a fact that a lot more people have died in this house. Violently and peacefully. But they aren’t haunting this place. My parents aren’t, for example.”

“Damn. Do you like… do you know if you’re going to stay here like until the inevitable heat death of the universe or…? Do you… get out at some point?”
Felix shrugs at Minho’s question.
“I don’t really know the answer to that, either. It’s… um”, Felix hesitates for a brief moment. “When I died, there were a few ghosts more.” Two, and one of them is still occupying the house, but only as a wind in the walls. “It’s just… well it clearly is tied to time, and I have a theory about it. Ghosts remain here for decades. They can linger for centuries, but all of us here are from the 20th century.” A lie, but the boys don’t need to know that.

“I think that… ghosts exist as memories. Ghosts, in a way, are made of memories, they’re time that has been stopped. I am, my time stopped the moment my throat was slit and I bled out upstairs. I am what I was at that moment. So that is how I’ll be remembered, like how I was at that moment, and that is how I exist as a ghost. And my… my theory is, from what I’ve gathered and thought and talked together with others… when those that can remember me as I am in the moment of my death, pass away… I will pass, too. When the last people that remember me, die, I will fade away, too, because then there’s no one to remember me, no one to make me up as a ghost.”

Felix receives silence again.
“I’ve seen it happen. I can… I can somewhat feel the other spirits in the house, there’s two boys in the attic, one in the basement, one girl is listening to us at the stairs. You can’t see her, she’s invisible because she doesn’t want to be seen by people”, Felix smiles as Jeongin stands up, clearly wanting to go take a look at the girl. Grumpily he sits back down. “And I’ve felt it before, a memory sort of… fading, and I know that ghost had been here for a long time. Probably from the family that had moved here as the first ones after this house was built. And a few years after I sort of… became a ghost, I felt her energy just… disappearing. And I figured that probably the last ones who remembered her as her had died and… well. So had finally she.”

And that’s why Felix doesn’t tell the boys about the lady of the pond. They would most likely go looking, find out what had happened to her, and therefore create a memory of her, and then it would take even more time for her to move on. As long as these boys would live. And Felix wants her to go, finally rest in the peace she deserves.

“Goddamn”, Minho mumbles then. The mood has shifted from light-hearted to a lot darker. Felix can feel Changbin’s hand hover over his, lightly touching it. He glances at the boy next to him again, there’s pity in his eyes again. He’s understood that Felix will remain in the house as long as all of them live, most likely longer, because Felix’s death is all over the internet, it’s talked about, there’s even pictures.

“So, uh, anyway, is the story about the basement boy real? That he likes to play with balls? Like roll them back if you roll them at him?”
Laughter spreads warmth in Felix’s chest. His eyes twinkle a little when he glances at Jisung:
“Want to go find out?”

That story is true. The boy really likes having someone to play with him.

***

“Good afternoon, Felix.”
“Good afternoon, Jisung”, Felix smiles at Jisung who comes at him and Changbin a bit before the tour starts to say hi. He’s drenched in fake blood, just as he’s supposed to.
“Hey so, me and Hyunjin were chatting last night. About Halloween.”
“Hm?”
“And you said you can’t leave the premises.” Jisung is speaking in a hushed voice and very fast, so Felix leans a little closer to him. So does Changbin.
“That’s right.”
“So you know what Halloween is, right? Like what it really is?”
“Is it bad if I say I really don’t?”
Jisung frowns, but then an excited sparkle ignites in his eyes: “Halloween. It’s all hallows’ eve. It’s like… a celebration to ghosts. The dead. Spirits. Or something. Anyway, so we looked into it and in this one place it stated that spirits get to walk the earth on that night. Or something. You know what, I need to print the page out or something but, so, um we were just thinking that… what if… you’ll get to walk that night, too?”
“Walk, you mean…”
“Out of here. Like just for that night, or something, you’re sort of ‘free’ then. I don’t know.”

Felix doesn’t know either. He’s never… considered it, really.
“But, you know, just a thought. Worth a shot, maybe.”
“Jisung!” Another actor yells from upstairs.
“Coming, coming! Anyway, nice talk, see you later, Felix!”

As Jisung leaves, Felix turns to Changbin. He arches his brow in a questioning manner.
“He’s right. It could be worth a shot.”

***

Felix is feeling. He doesn’t like that he’s feeling. He shouldn’t be feeling, it’s not… he’s not supposed to feel. It’s not like he’s not capable of it, it just… makes existing a lot more horrible. Because Felix is feeling. And he knows exactly what he is feeling.

He feels it, the flutter in his chest every time Changbin smiles at him. He feels the flutter every time he hears him at the door, when he brings him little gifts, sometimes it’s hot chocolate, sometimes it’s movies from Felix’s youth, sometimes it’s a small dog plushie he found at the thrift store that reminded him of Felix. He feels it when their hands brush together accidentally while working. He feels it at the stolen glances they share at meetings before work days where everyone is present. He feels it. The flutter. And it’s not good, he’s not…

Changbin is a human. Felix is a ghost. And that feeling is a wish that Changbin would feel the same for Felix. It’s just… it’s not right. Changbin deserves better, he deserves someone whose hands aren’t cold, and Felix knows it. So he tries to bury it. Disregard it. Ignore it.

But god, does Changbin’s presence make it hard.

***

There are three knocks on the door and Felix’s heart jumps as he runs downstairs to greet Changbin. For some reason, he’d really like to wrap his arms around him for a hug, but he doesn’t do that (it’s been a whole nine hours since he’s last seen Changbin). Changbin’s bag is a bit bigger this time and his face lights up when he sees Felix at the stairway.
“Hey, I thought I could stay the night today if that’s alright for you?”
“It’s alright. It’s definitely alright.” Because Changbin and Felix are going to be in the clean up crew again and no one is going to see Changbin staying the entire night at the house. And because Felix would never be able to say no to Changbin’s company.

The workday passes by easily, the house is even more crowded, the boy downstairs messes with the music again more than twice (on third time it’s Felix who goes to fix it and he pretends to act like he’s talking to a ghost just as a joke for the other actors as if the boy isn’t standing at the far corner and making faces at him for getting scolded). It’s not all that many days until the final weekend, and then it will be over. Then the house will quiet down again, and Felix will have to scrub dried fake blood off of the floor in his room.

Will Changbin still visit? Will Changbin visit when all of this is over?

And as the silence falls over the house again in the night, Felix and Changbin are left there together. Minho winks at them before he leaves the house as the last one, as if he knows Changbin isn’t going home tonight. They check that the downstairs is in alright condition before getting upstairs.
“Lix?”
“Hhmh?” The nickname makes his insides tingle.
“I was wondering if… I could see the other ghosts? Or… I don’t know. It’s just that I’d like to, um, let them know that I’m not a threat or trying to disturb them or anything. And I think that would be easier if I introduced myself or something. And since I’m a frequent visitor, I’d just like to… say hello.”

Maybe that warms Felix’s insides a lot. Maybe that makes his heart ache in a way that it’s not supposed to. It makes him feel… guilty.
“We can try”, he says. “They’re all a bit shy, I guess. The girl is, at least. And the boys in the attic don’t really… I don’t think they understand what’s going on. They’re four years old at max. And they just… play. Sometimes they’re both visible, sometimes not. Sometimes only one of them is.”

In the end, Felix opens the door of the cupboard that has the creaky stairs leading to the attic. Changbin looks a bit surprised, he has thought the closet had only been used to store cleaning supplies, but there is another door that leads to the stairs. Felix goes in first, he takes Changbin’s hand in his to safely lead him up the steep stairs. It’s very dark, the only light they have once they’re up is the moon streaming in from the window at the end of the attic. There are boxes, there’s a lot of dust that makes Changbin cough a little.
“Okay, well this place surely looks like it’s haunted”, he mumbles under his breath. Felix snorts, because Changbin is right. Cold moonlight, trees outside of the window that don’t have any leaves in them anymore casting creepy shadows on the floor. Something squeaks in the corner and Changbin squeezes Felix’s hand a little.

“The girl is here, too. I told them to come here whenever there’s people in the house so that they won’t accidentally show themselves. She doesn’t speak, but understands when she’s spoken to.”
And as if on cue, the girl peeks from behind one of the boxes. She looks illuminated, she’s not completely visible. Changbin takes in a deep breath before he waves his hand lightly at the girl.
“Hi”, Changbin then smiles at her. The girl looks at Felix, clearly a bit uncertain whether she trusts Changbin or not. Then there’s squeaky laughter behind the two of them. Laughter of a child, and Changbin clearly gets scared as his hold of Felix’s hand tightens.

They turn around, and there the boys are. Playing with old, wooden train toys. They don’t even spare a glance at them, first they’re completely visible, then a blue hue again, occasionally there’s sparks of laughter.
“It’s a bit hard to get their attention usually.”
“It’s fine”, Changbin mutters back. “I’m glad they’re at least comfortable enough to show themselves.”
So is Felix. They don’t see Changbin as a threat, none of them.

Neither does the boy in the basement, who’s brave enough to become solid. He even asks questions about Changbin, and then Changbin asks the boy to leave the electrical cords alone. The boy doesn’t promise to do that, he’s a bit mischievous one, but he seems to like Changbin, too, because Changbin doesn’t ask weird questions about death or demons in a weird voice.
“That’s it, then? This is your little ghost family?” Changbin asks as they return back upstairs.
“I guess it is”, Felix smiles. It feels nice, when Changbin puts it like that.
“Why do I feel like you’re not telling me everything?”
Oh? Has Felix become that see-through to Changbin?
“Perhaps I’m not. There have been more ghosts. There is one more ghost, but they’re…”
“Passing forward?”
“Yes, and that’s why I’m not going to tell you more about them.”
Changbin understands and doesn’t ask further questions.

They end up in Felix’s bed, side by side with the laptop on Changbin’s lap. There’s a movie playing, and Felix can see how hard Changbin is trying to stay awake. In the end, Changbin loses the battle, and slowly Felix can feel his weight shifting and head pressing against his shoulder as steady breathing fills in the room. Changbin feels warm next to Felix and for a moment Felix wishes he could fall asleep, too, and wake up in Changbin’s embrace.

It is then that Felix realizes Changbin is still holding his hand on his own.

***

Morning rolls in softly, sweetly, and Changbin has his arm wrapped around Felix. Felix has placed the laptop on the floor in order to not let it fall as Changbin is a bit of a restless sleeper. Felix, too, has dozed into a sort of sleep, which isn’t really sleep, but it’s just… he closes his eyes, he’s mildly aware of his surroundings and Changbin’s warmth next to him. Changbin stirs a little in his sleep, so Felix awakens from his haze.
“Morning”, Changbin mumbles, his voice is a little rough.
“Morning, sleepyhead”, Felix mutters back at him. His voice isn’t a little rough.
“Sorry, I wasn’t meant to-“
“It’s alright. You need sleep”, Felix smiles at Changbin and he really doesn’t want to let go of his hand, but he has to as he sees Changbin shiver a little. It creates an ugly stir inside of Felix. He’s not warm. Changbin needs warmth. Felix can’t give that warmth to him.
“Yea but-“
“No buts.”

Their morning is slow, if one can call it a morning. There are only a few hours left before the others start arriving again, preparing for yet another workday. There aren’t many left, and that again makes Felix a little sad. Changbin notices the change in his mood and makes a promise to visit the house even as it turns back to being just a house and not a Halloween attraction. He promises to take the others with him, too, and that makes it all a little better again.

***

Something shifts throughout the day. Changbin’s gaze lingers on Felix more, he constantly looks out for an excuse to hold his hand, or talk to him in between the customers coming and going even if he should be focusing on his job, and it is so incredibly weird to Felix. He doesn’t really understand it. Or perhaps he does. But he doesn’t want to. He isn’t sure how to feel about it.

Or perhaps he is. He should push Changbin away. He should. Changbin deserves better. So, so much better. Felix is but a memory, stopped in time, and Changbin is not. Changbin is a human with hopes and dreams and feelings and a future, and Felix is not. And this creates an enormous problem which Felix doesn’t want to think about in the midst of a workday.

There are a lot of customers, it’s evident that Halloween is only a few days away as everyone’s getting into the spirit of it. It looks funny, a lot of oranges, black, it feels warm and mischievous at the same time. Halloween feels like the hot chocolate Changbin once again brings for Felix and Felix thanks him with a smile. They sit close to each other, Changbin notices Felix being wary and immediately asks if he’s alright. It’s bad. It’s so bad. Felix doesn’t… why does he need to be so… considerate and kind and comfortable to be around with? It messes with Felix’s head. It makes him uncomfortable. He shouldn’t be feeling like this.

He just shouldn’t. Changbin doesn’t deserve that.

***

Changbin has accidentally left his things in the house, but Felix sort of guesses it is not an accident, when after the clean up crew leaves, there are three careful knocks on the door. Changbin pokes his head in just as Felix leaves the kitchen.
“Hi”, he smiles, and it’s so heart-achingly warm it makes Felix’s head spin a little.
“Hey”, he smiles back at him.
“Sorry, I, uh, left some of my things here.”
“You know, you don’t need to come up with excuses to visit”, Felix lightly laughs at him. A red hue dusts over Changbin’s nose. It’s cute.
“I know, I know, I just… don’t wanna seem too invasive, I guess.”
“It’s fine.”
It’s not fine. What if someone else sees? What if it’s Changbin that becomes the talk of the town, why does he spend so much time at the haunted house? What’s going on?

It scares Felix. It scares him a lot, and he scares himself. Why does he care for Changbin so much? He knows it’s more than he should care about him, even if he is the first friend Felix has had in years. It’s still…
“So, do you plan on staying another night or is the bed comfier at home?” Felix jokes as Changbin trails after him to the kitchen. The girl waves at Changbin from the stairway, so Changbin waves back at her.
“I’m not going to lie, the mattress could be changed to a new one but at least the company is sufficient.”
It stirs in Felix’s gut, it’s pleasant, it makes his heart hammer. He doesn’t say anything, just snorts slightly. It’s not like he can’t admit it, there’s clearly something in Changbin, too. He feels something, he has to, friends don’t reach to each other like…this. They don’t hold hands all the time. At least Felix doesn’t think they do.

“I wouldn’t mind company for another night, though. It’s not like I have anyone waiting for me at home.”
It feels almost like a confession. It shifts something, and Felix’s isn’t entirely sure what. Changbin is suddenly very close (even if he really hasn’t moved all that much, given that they very often linger close to each other these days), and Felix feels a hand around his own again. Changbin is warm, and his eyes seem very dark in the faint yellow light of the kitchen. He looks like he wants to say something, and suddenly Felix feels nervous, rigid like the string of a violin. Felix’s gaze flickers in between Changbin’s eyes and his lips, and seems to work as a signal.

It’s Changbin who leans a little closer, bit closer, and then a little more, and Felix knows how this is going to end, oh, he knows,

so he presses a hand on Changbin’s chest, stopping him, just barely centimeters away from kissing him.
“No”, Felix breathes out. “No, don’t.”

Changbin pulls back, he looks confused, a bit nervous, and something that Felix doesn’t quite catch. Felix feels horrible. He feels absolutely horrible, he feels like life is being squeezed out of him for the second time during his life. First time during his death.
“I- I’m sorry, I, um-“, Changbin stammers. He takes a small step back and Felix feels the hand in his loosen a little. “I- I must have n-not understood, I-“
“Changbin, it’s not that”, Felix whimpers. The look on Changbin’s face turns from confusion to hurt.

“I-It’s, I…” Felix’s mouth tastes a little like ash. Something in him breaks, and suddenly the words find their way out his mouth. “You deserve better.”
Changbin looks horrified for a split second.
“W-what do you mean better, I-?”
“You deserve better, Changbin. This isn’t right, this isn’t… You deserve better.”
“Felix, you are better-“
Felix lets go of Changbin’s hand and takes a step back. Felix can see it, how for a sliver of a second Changbin chases after the touch.
“Changbin. I’m dead. You are not.”

Changbin closes his mouth. It’s not like he can deny the facts. Felix can feel tears brimming his eyes, how they sting the corners and are desperate to get out.
“Changbin, you have to find someone living. You have to find someone who can give you what you want. You have to live when you still have the chance!” It’s nearly a wail, but just nearly. Changbin looks like he’s about to protest, but Felix shakes his head and takes another step back, away from Changbin.
“I can’t get out of this house. I can’t go out with you, you can’t bring me to your parents, I can’t… do anything except be here! I am a memory, Changbin. You have fallen for a memory. I am a ghost who haunts this house. You deserve better. You deserve someone living.”
“Felix!”

Felix can feel it, the strain in his throat, the way the energy around him wavers. Changbin tries to reach for Felix, but Felix backs away from him.
“Changbin, this isn’t right. You need someone who you can sleep your nights with without feeling cold. You need someone who will age with you and travel with you all across the globe. You can’t fall for a memory, you can’t let your dreams and hopes kill themselves like that, I won’t allow it!”
“Felix, I-“
Felix takes a deep breath in, just like he always does when he feels nervous and scared of something. He feels a tear roll down his cheek, and it feels oddly warm.
“Changbin. You need someone with warm hands. My hands are too cold for you.”

Felix turns in his tracks and runs up the stairs to the second floor, he can’t stand to look at the heartbreak on Changbin’s face. He can hear Changbin call out to him, he can hear his footsteps on the stairs as he tries to follow after Felix, reach out to him once more.

But he can’t do that. Felix has become one with the shadows again, and he’s somewhere where Changbin can’t reach him.

***

Felix won’t be going to work today. He won’t be going tomorrow either, nor the day after tomorrow, which is the final day. He won’t be going to work anymore, he’s decided to stay in the attic with the others. He can’t do it, he can’t bear to show his face to Changbin and see what he’s managed to do to him by breaking his heart into a million pieces. Even if he knows it’s for his own good.

But why must it hurt so much? Why does it need to tear and paw at his heart, too? Why does it need to burn his lungs and rid him of his peace and why why why does he feel so damn guilty? It’s for Changbin’s good, it is, he needs to find someone living, and Felix can’t give him that. But god, it feels wrong. It feels so wrong to tear someone else’s heart out and rip it to pieces and then stomp on it, too, and Felix wants nothing more than to run back to Changbin and beg him to stay and tell him that he’d love to kiss him too but he can’t. He can’t do that. It’s for Changbin’s own good, and maybe for Felix’s too, because Changbin will move on and Felix will just… stay here. And linger. Until he’s forgotten.

Felix knows that they will find someone quickly to take his place behind the cash register. Changbin will probably lie and say Felix is sick or something because he’s kind like that. Felix won’t show up, they will have no one to pay his salary, and after months he’ll be nothing but a memory again. Perhaps they will realize that maybe Felix was never really there, maybe there was something else to him. And then everything will be normal again, and Felix can forget himself in the house for years to come and maybe someday he, too, will end up just as a whisper in the wind.

He’s sitting on his armchair in his own room. He’ll have to move to the attic in a few hours. He’s done nothing but stared at the wall for the night with crystal tears running down his face, then his neck, until they stop at the edge of the fabric. They’re not real tears, not really, they don’t stain nor wet the fabric of Felix’s shirt (which is really Changbin’s), because Felix isn’t present. He’s only energy, he isn’t really there, but at the same time, he is.

And he’s so deep in his own pain that he doesn’t hear the knocks on the door. He doesn’t hear the creak in the stairs, nor the steps in the hallway. But he hears it when the knob turns in his door and it opens. Felix stiffens, he nearly gasps as he gets scared, suddenly pulled out of his head.

Changbin steps into the room. He looks around, he’s clearly nervous. He hasn’t slept, his face is a bit puffy, the rims of his eyes are red. He’s been crying. And that strains Felix’s heart, because he is the reason Changbin has been crying.

Felix wants to yell at him, tell him to get out of the house, and he wants to curl up next to him and say that he’s sorry but he doesn’t do anything. He’s there, but he isn’t. Changbin doesn’t know he’s in the room, because as he glances around, his gaze passes Felix like he’s nothing but air. Because really, he isn’t anything but air. He slowly walks over to the bed at the corner of the room, sits on it. He swallows a few times, fiddles with the sleeves of his jacket. His gaze stops at the darker spot on the floor, then he shakes his head, just slightly.

“I, um, hey, Lix”, he starts with. His voice is a little broken, a little hoarse. Felix doesn’t answer.
“I, I know you’re here. I know you’re somewhere here and… I hope that you’re listening. Please, listen to what I have to say”
Felix swallows, sniffles a little. He knows Changbin can’t hear it.
“I just… I just, I… Felix, I don’t care that you are a ghost. I don’t care that you’re dead and I’m not because it really doesn’t separate us as much as you think it does. Sure, it’s a bit… a bit freaky. A little odd, even more so at the beginning but… I don’t, I just don’t care. I know you’re dead, I know you died here twenty years ago, don’t think I don’t. But I… I don’t care. You’re a ghost, but you’re still human.”

“Nobody makes me feel like you do, Felix. You’re more alive than most people, even if you don’t really know it. You’re present in a different way than many others. You listen, you talk, you’re easy to be around. You… you feel alive. You make me feel alive. You make me feel… good and better about myself and you make me want to become a better person and… I just… I like you, Felix. I like you more than as a friend.”

Felix is shaking. He doesn’t know what to do, he… his heart is screaming at him to go to Changbin but he’s frozen and he doesn’t know what to do. Changbin sits there, on his bed and continues to nervously pull at the loose string on the sleeve of his jacket. Felix tries to swallow the tears away, tries to ignore the warm feeling that feels like it’s engulfing him.

“In fact, I like you way, way more than as a friend, and it’s… Yeah. I like you. And it’s fine if you don’t like me but I just want you to know that I like you. Even if you’re a ghost. Even if you’re a… memory. But I don’t really, I don’t think you’re just a memory. You still have thoughts, and you learn things and yes, you may be trapped here but… you’re not just a memory. You’re you, Felix. You’re whole.”

Felix stands up from the chair, he walks over the floor. He wants to take Changbin’s hand. He wants to- he doesn’t even know. All he knows is that with every step he takes closer to Changbin, it feels a little more right. A little more like… he’s supposed to be there. He hesitates a bit as he stands in front of Changbin. Changbin looks right through him, his eyes glimmer a little. He is probably close to crying.

Felix sits down next to Changbin. Changbin notices it as the mattress moves a little with the weight added onto it. His gaze turns to his right, right where Felix is sitting, but he’s still unable to see him. Then he offers his hand to Felix.
“And I… I don’t care that your hands are cold. I think I have enough warmth for the both of us”, he whispers. He knows Felix is there now, and that he has been listening.

Slowly, slowly Felix starts to gather the energy around him again, piece himself back together. Changbin watches as he turns from nothing but air to bluish hue slowly. Felix isn’t entirely sure what he’s trying to accomplish, perhaps he’s trying to show Changbin that this is who he is, he will always be just partly there, and if this is what Changbin wants, then this is what Changbin will get. Felix takes Changbin’s hand in his, takes it into his cold hold. Changbin doesn’t shiver. He doesn’t do anything except close his hand around Felix’s.

“Really?” he whispers when he’s there again, when he’s turned solid again. Changbin nods as his eyes find Felix’s.
“Really”, he mumbles back. There’s a hint of a smile tugging the corner of his mouth, he looks relieved. He’s relieved that Felix has listened to him. Felix swallows, he wants to hug Changbin, be close to him, but he’s unsure of what to do. Thankfully, Changbin has the answer for him as he pulls Felix into his warm embrace. Slowly Felix wraps his arm around him, too, and buries his head against Changbin’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry”, he whimpers out. Changbin shakes his head.
“It’s alright. We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure this out, Felix, I promise.”
“How?”
“I don’t know yet, but we’ll do. I’ll buy this house and move in if I have to.”
That makes Felix let out a light giggle and Changbin’s hug tighten a little around him. Felix can feel it, how Changbin’s warmth catches onto him, spreads in his chest and tingles his fingertips. He feels kiddy. And it’s overwhelming.

Even more overwhelming is the way Changbin looks at him as he pulls back just a little. Even more overwhelming is the way he with his other hand carefully traces Felix’s features before he cups his cheek. Even more overwhelming is the way his presence engulfs Felix and makes him feel so incredibly happy.
“Can I?” he asks and Felix nods because he doesn’t trust his words anymore.

Changbin’s lips are soft. They press against Felix’s perfectly, like they belong there. It makes Felix’s head spin, and he’s sure he’d evaporate if Changbin wouldn’t hold him in his tight hug as he kisses Felix. Changbin smells familiar, he smells safe and like home and he feels so good and warm and perfect and warm and it’s so so so overwhelming Felix has to pull back and then Changbin is kissing him again within the next heartbeat and Felix wraps his hand around his neck and kisses him back with so much vigor he makes Changbin gasp a little. For a moment Felix’s whole world is so much Changbin and the ache in his heart is suddenly gone and he’s bursting with so much warmth it’s almost too much. There’s so much, so so much of everything. So much of Changbin.

“I really like you too. Like really do”, Felix mumbles against Changbin’s lips, gets a light laugh as an answer.
“I think I got that part already”, he mutters before he presses another kiss on Felix’s lips, then on his cheeks, on his temple, everywhere. It makes Felix laugh, and it’s not until Changbin pulls back that Felix realizes he’s kissed the tears away from his cheeks.
“Do you really promise that you’ll have enough warmth for both of us?” Felix asks quietly. Changbin nods, he’s smiling, his touch is gentle, and his gaze so fond Felix feels like he’s melting.
“I promise”, he whispers and kisses Felix again.

And maybe he is right. Maybe he indeed does have enough warmth for the both of them, because it’s enough to ignite Felix in ways that he hasn’t felt ever before.

***

“Are you sure about this?” Felix mumbles. He’s wearing one of Changbin’s thick jackets and he has a beanie on. He doesn’t really feel cold, but Changbin has insisted he should wear them.
“No. But we gotta start looking from somewhere, right?” Changbin is standing next to Felix, he’s padded just as warmly as Felix. He’s holding Felix’s hand tightly on his own.

It’s three in the morning and they’re standing at the edge of the yard, in front of the gate. It’s Halloween night and everyone has left home already, or to party with their friends. Changbin and Felix are alone.
“What if it doesn’t work?” Felix asks, he’s nervous. Changbin presses a little peck on his temple. He has to tiptoe a little to do that.
“Then we’ll figure out something else. We’ll watch movies. And eat your favorite chips and I’ll sleep in your bed tonight. Or you’ll give me your worst and haunt me in ways that I’ve never experienced before.”
Felix rolls his eyes and nudges Changbin’s shoulder. He’s being annoying.
“We’ll try, and if it doesn’t work, we’ll try something else some other day, alright?”
Felix nods. It’s not like he has anything to lose. It’s not like he actually has his hopes up about this.

The moonlight above them casts shadows on the ground that may look scary to someone else, but not to Felix. They don’t look that scary to Changbin either anymore.
“What if it works?” Felix asks then.
“Then we’ll walk around in the city and watch all the pretty lights and go grab a snack and do whatever you want.”
“I want to see your apartment.”
“Then we’ll go see my apartment.”
“And we’ll have to be back before sunrise.”
“We’ll be, I promise.”
“Good.”

Felix takes a deep breath. He’s nervous and Changbin knows that, so Changbin squeezes Felix’s hand a little in his hold, just as reassurance. He feels warm. He always feels warm. And Felix feels warm with him, too.

“Ready?” Changbin asks.
“Ready”, Felix whispers, and then he takes a step over the border between the house and the rest of the world.

And for once, the house doesn’t pull him back.