Work Text:
☾✵
dusk
“I love you, hyunjin”.
changbin had run out of time. he’d wanted hyunjin to have his humanity for at least a little bit longer, but the human’s health had only deteriorated faster after their night of stargazing despite changbin’s best attempts to keep him healthy. it was selfish, the way he had sprung the question on hyunjin only once the boy was lying on his deathbed and had little other option should he wish to continue living. it was selfish, the way changbin’s heart soared when hyunjin agreed to be turned.
(to be with changbin, he’d said).
because although changbin has only known hyunjin for a short amount of time within the vampire’s much longer years of life (or death, technically), hyunjin has still impacted him enough for changbin to know he didn’t want to let hyunjin die. couldn’t let hyunjin die. hyunjin, a boy who smiles through his pain and suffering. a boy who somehow finds enjoyment in life from his hospital bed. a boy who has let changbin into his life and has brought happiness to his wretched existence for the first time in what feels like eternity.
changbin would do anything for him.
what if it doesn’t work?
changbin fears the turning process going wrong, fears irreversibly killing hyunjin and never getting him back. he warns hyunjin, but the boy doesn’t seem afraid of his death in the way changbin is. in the end, it’s hyunjin’s smile that convinces him. that beautiful, dimpled smile, is the only thing that gives changbin enough confidence to proceed; the only thing that can soothe his quaking heart.
he wants to see it for the rest of forever.
changbin tries to make the process as comfortable as possible, sitting with hyunjin in his lap, stroking over his hair, gently cupping his sunken cheeks between his palms. the vampire catches hyunjin’s reassuring gaze, his own eyes sad, but hopeful for the future they have waiting for them. he kisses hyunjin’s forehead, then his lips, trying to keep tears from falling before he’s even started.
tenderly, changbin drags his lips from hyunjin’s jaw down to his neck, peppering soft kisses along pale skin as he gently moves the collar of hyunjin’s hospital gown to the side. he can hear the shallow flutter of his heartbeat, can feel the way it quickens and beats like a little hummingbird.
“I promise you, I will be here when you wake up, little one.”
and with that, he’s biting hyunjin’s neck, fangs piercing through thin skin. changbin holds hyunjin close through it, his own tears rolling down his cheeks as hyunjin’s blood fills the vampire’s mouth. he’s never fed from hyunjin before, the human’s body too weak to withstand such a risk. not that it mattered, changbin wouldn’t dare steal such a precious resource from hyunjin’s already dying body. evidence of hyunjin’s of sickness leaves a bitter metallic taste on changbin’s tongue, but changbin doesn’t mind, afterall, it’s still hyunjin. it’s overwhelming. changbin squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to make any noise as he drains hyunjin completely of his life force in a way only a vampire can do.
he feeds until hyunjin’s skin goes cold, until his already pale skin becomes even paler. almost desperately, changbin’s fingers curl into hyunjin’s shirt, heart breaking as hyunjin goes lifeless in his arms. as hyunjin dies, because of changbin.
changbin’s still crying when he pulls away, vision blurry with his tears as he lays hyunjin down on the bed, laying at his side and gently pulling hyunjin’s head to his chest. fingers stroke carefully through soft hair, ghosting along the features of his face. somehow, he almost looks happy, even in death.
the vampire sobs, pressing his face into the boy’s hair, cradling him and waiting for him to return.
“please come back to me, hyunjin”.
☾✵
dawn
maybe hyunjin hasn’t truly lived until he meets changbin.
changbin, the one person who humours him day by day, who takes each of hyunjin’s whims and fulfils them as if they were his dying wish. (and maybe they are). changbin, the only thing in this world that makes hyunjin wish he could live just a little longer. the only thing that makes him cry one tuesday afternoon knowing that he won’t live to see the night-sky’s stars reflected in changbin’s eyes ever again.
and for all his life hyunjin has never been greedy, has always taken what he was given and walked with everything in stride. from the first day he was admitted to this hospital to the day the doctors had told him he would never again step foot outside for the rest of his deteriorating life – he had simply accepted everything without even a single protest.
but just this once, god he wishes he could stay with changbin a little bit longer.
some higher power must hear his cries because one day changbin offers to give him forever and more, and hyunjin is incapable of doing anything but accepting.
death has never scared hyunjin, it’s been part of his narrative ever since he was a child. occasional visits to the doctor became frequent visits and frequent visits became full admittance before he had even turned eighteen. he starts the day and ends the day knowing that with every passing hour he’s that much closer to death’s cold embrace.
so when he’s faced with the reality that the very process that could save his life has an equal chance of simply killing him, hyunjin barely bats an eye. rather, the thought of hyunjin’s death seems to scare changbin the most – the beautiful vampire who has lived past death; and hyunjin oh so wishes he could ease this fear.
(body weak, in the end hyunjin is unable to offer more than a smile, breath heavy from illness-induced strain as he returns meagre scraps of the affection changbin offers him).
“I’ll be back soon. I promise”.
hyunjin welcomes death – only wishing for a new beginning to his life.
he can feel tears on his neck.
(and hyunjin promises himself right then and there that he will do everything within his power in this new life to prevent even a single new tear from being shed).
☾✵
the beginning of eternity
changbin remembers his own turning, and how the hunger took over his consciousness and left him as an empty shell. a being starving for blood, aggressively feral in the way he tried to take it from his sire after he woke up. he knows hyunjin will have to deal with that same hunger, but he can’t bear to leave him alone for a second. he can’t bear to even pull away from him, hands still combing through soft hair. thankfully, he doesn’t need to leave as his own blood will satisfy the fledgling.
however, despite knowing how hyunjin will act once he wakes up, changbin still isn’t ready for it.
dry scratching pain claws at hyunjin’s insides, contorting his muscles as they seize, jerking his limbs across the bed and tearing a pathetic scream from his throat. (although, even now the constraints of his own weakened body do not allow him to fully express his pain). in this instant, hyunjin doesn’t even know his own name. the only thing he’s truly aware of is the burning that runs through him, an unquenchable desire for something rushing through him as his eyes snap open.
body surging forward, hyunjin’s more monster than human right now – mind outright feral as his instincts push him towards the remedy of his thirst. blood. jaw snapping down, his teeth dig into soft flesh, holding changbin’s limb in place as he bites down only for nothing to be returned. human teeth too dull to penetrate the skin, the newly turned vampire whines, tears wetting his eyes and mouth still latched onto changbin’s arm; words lost as he tries to bite down again, pathetic and desperate in his attempt to ease the insatiable blaze that’s coursing through his veins.
the blunt, still very human teeth bite into changbin’s forearm once more and while pain still lances up his arm, he’s not surprised when blood isn’t drawn from the bite. it takes him too long to react to being teethed on, changbin having to hold back more tears at the sight of his hyunjin, now returned.
(the long hours of holding hyunjin’s lifeless body in his arms had felt more like years).
changbin carefully reaches up with his free hand, sifting his fingers through the hair at the back of hyunjin’s head while a smile tugs incessantly at his lips. “welcome back, little one,” he coos softly, twirling the locks through his fingers, and scratching gently at his neck even as hyunjin continues to bite him.
however, any soft looks are lost to the newly turned vampire, hyunjin’s mind almost entirely focused around easing the burn that’s coursing through his body. movements weak, he’s still whimpering into changbin’s arm as the man’s hand cards through his hair, the gesture and voice enough to momentarily coerce hyunjin’s attention to the being attached to the arm he’s biting. drawn in by the gentle touch, unexpected conflict arises when hyunjin attempts to press closer to the offered physical affection but finds himself still yearning for the blood running beneath the pale skin he’s biting into.
hyunjin wants... hyunjin doesn’t know what he wants. wants the thirst to dissipate. wants to hear more of that soothing voice, so easily entranced by his sire even in this feral state. wants more of that physical touch. hyunjin wants so very much.
“oh, baby… you won’t get anything by yourself,” changbin murmurs as if he were talking to a child, eyes sympathetic at the sight of hyunjin desperately trying to draw blood. the sounds he makes causes changbin’s heart to clench, and he knows his baby vampire needs blood. now. “let me help you, hyunjinnie.”
desperate sobs are quieted as changbin continues to speak, something in the vampire’s voice resonating deep inside of hyunjin; each word a verbal soother to the newly turned fledgling.
even when he’s like this, hyunjin is unable to manifest true aggression against changbin as he coaxes hyunjin from his sire’s arm. (he may not understand changbin through his thirst-induced haze, but an instinctual part of hyunjin recognises that that familiar voice is above all else, safe).
tenderly gripping hyunjin’s chin, changbin attempts to pull his arm away, softly encouraging hyunjin. “you have to let go, hyunjin. I’m going to help you, okay?” once he’s finally freed his arm, he laughs quietly at the indents hyunjin’s teeth have left on his skin. after shaking his head in amusement, changbin brings his own wrist up to his mouth, and bites sharply, piercing the skin until it bleeds to allow hyunjin to feed. the first few drops cling to his lips, but he ignores it in favor of finally giving his fledgling what he needs.
“here you go, little one,” changbin offers the newly turned vampire his wrist, small rivulets already sliding down the curve of his skin. “go on, drink up.”
hyunjin is aware of the presence of flowing blood before changbin even offers up his arm, eyes snapping to the first instance of the red liquid. the new vampire’s feral-driven urges manage to push back against his own body’s physical limitations, surging forward to first meet changbin’s lips with his own and licking away the remaining traces of blood with a shuddering breath. and changbin should have expected the baby vampire to jump at the opportunity for any drop of blood, but he still gasps in mild surprise as their lips meet, the younger’s tongue coming out to lap at the seam of his lips, taking every drop of blood that had stuck to his skin.
of course, that isn’t even close to enough to appease the ache inside of hyunjin. a breath of silence as changbin’s gaze meets glazed over eyes in a fleeting moment before hyunjin is already gone, seeking more of what brought him to changbin’s lips in the first place. hyunjin’s eager hands are groping at changbin’s arm, holding the limb tight as he presses his mouth to the pre-bitten skin; digging into his fresh meal. and contrary to hyunjin’s docile appearance and changbin’s softening gaze (so terribly fond), hyunjin is a messy feeder, dirtying his sire’s skin with fresh blood following every needy press of his mouth.
observing as the blood smears across his arm and his fledgling’s cheeks, changbin’s sure hyunjin is making more of a mess of the blood than he is drinking it. still, he can feel hyunjin drinking, feel the way he’s rapidly drawing blood. the older watches as hyunjin’s adam’s apple bobs on each swallow of the red liquid, excess dribbling down his chin.
it’s not the prettiest thing, but in this moment changbin can’t think of a prettier sight (it’s hyunjin, afterall, an alive hyunjin that will now be with him forever). hyunjin’s beauty shines even more so when the younger one pulls away to grin up at changbin. there’s blood on hyunjin’s teeth, staining his cheeks and some even up higher on his nose, but all changbin can think about is hyunjin’s magnificent smile.
something about hyunjin in this state gives changbin an overwhelming feeling to protect, to nurture. he’d had these same feelings when hyunjin was human, when the boy was so frail, weak, vulnerable. profound, there’s an overwhelming love he has for this soft, beautiful being. he loves hyunjin with everything he has, and treats him as his second chance at life; as a gift the universe has bestowed upon changbin after all of his years of suffering.
the vampire never believed in fate until he met hyunjin and looked into curious, trusting eyes that shined upon every word that came from changbin‘s mouth. it was as if their souls had called for each other and discovered life rather than death.
changbin’s brought back to the present when hyunjin’s desperate sucking on changbin’s wrist settles into gentle kitten-like licks, changbin’s own exhaustion wiggles its way into his veins. the blood loss is not a normal feeling for him anymore, but hyunjin seems to glow for the first time, the blood giving him life he’s lacked for most of his life, and changbin knows it was all worth it. even for his first feeding, hyunjin looks healthier, less sunken. it’s an empowering sight, and changbin wishes he had more to give to his fledgling right now.
seemingly exhausted after the whole experience, hyunjin falls back into his hospital bed, hand slipping from changbin’s arm to instead grip his hand, giving it a firm squeeze that’s quickly returned as he stares up at the other. eyes locking, the beading blood from the punctures of changbin’s wrist is long forgotten as they’re fully reunited at long last.
“I’m back”. and this time when hyunjin offers a smile he’s more himself than a feral vampire (even with the blood on his lips and cheeks). arguably, more himself than he’s been in years.
the look they share is enough to floor changbin if he were standing, staring down at the now clear, brown eyes that shine up at him. “you’re back,” changbin echoes in relief, the smile he offers in return even bigger than hyunjin’s.
affectionate, hyunjin pulls changbin’s hand close, nuzzling the calloused skin with his cheek and letting out a pleased hum as his eyes flutter shut, safe and content. “your little one missed you”.
“and I you,” changbin replies, smile never faltering.
this entire scene feels strange for hyunjin, like he’s stepped into a storybook not meant for him. an ultimate jokester, destiny is mockingly ironic in the way hyunjin feels more alive now (when he’s not even truly alive to start with) than he has in the duration of his short human life. only after his heart has stopped beating has the mind-numbing sickness of years prior been lifted, diseased remnants of hyunjin’s life up until this point reduced to the condition of his physical body.
that being said, mental exhaustion still manages to tug hyunjin down, pulls at his toes and rushes up to his eyes; a soft heady feeling washing through him as he's left neither addled with bloodlust nor fully cognisant. even satiated with blood, new vampiric instincts press to the forefront of hyunjin's brain; not-yet-in-existence fangs aching and an underlying need for physical affection leaving him greedy for more of the attention changbin offers.
so hyunjin’s not trying to draw blood when he turns chanbin’s hand and takes two of changbin’s fingers into his mouth, gently biting down on the digits to satiate his simple urge to bite. hyunjin’s voice is soft and mumbled around the fleshy obstructions, adding almost apologetically, “I hope I didn’t make you wait too long”.
in the meantime, changbin has gone silent in awe as he watches hyunjin nip at his fingers (alive, he reminds himself for the umpteenth time in the past few minutes alone). the sight makes his own fangs ache in remembrance of the desire to bite when he was a fledgling. the memories and their associated images that follow are not good ones, but he’s determined to ensure hyunjin does not have the same experiences. his fledgling that he created would see nothing but happiness in his future; would see nothing but a future with sunsets that never set and nights lit by effervescent stars. if this was the future that changbin could provide hyunjin, well, changbin would give anything if it meant hyunjin, his little one, could have this happiness. “I’d wait until the end of time for you to return.”
that one sentence is all the affirmation hyunjin needs, all the affirmation he didn’t realise he was yearning. all these years hyunjin has waited so desperately to be loved, and changbin has given him that. a childhood spent in and out of hospital waiting rooms, his childhood, was never really a childhood. it was a childhood spent watching as his parents came to visit him less and less, time with them petering off until a sickly hyunjin wakes up one day knowing that they're never going to visit him ever again.
(in the days prior, he wakes up to soft fighting that escalates in leaps and bounds - arguments about hospital bills and how they never asked for this, and hyunjin knows in that instance he was never wanted to start with.
but changbin is different. changbin makes hyunjin feel wanted, and that means everything and more to him.
and hyunjin hopes from the bottom of his heart that changbin understands this).
so if changbin was willing to wait until the end of time for hyunjin to return, hyunjin was willing to live thousands upon thousands of sickly lives just to see changbin again. willing to begin every day bent over and heaving with tears in his eyes. willing to love until his lungs gave out if it meant that he would spend just a minute longer with changbin. because up until changbin, all hyunjin has really known is sterile white hospital gowns and clinical white hospital rooms - but now that changbin has given hyunjin a taste of more, a taste of life and its vibrancy, he's unable to think of a world that exists without changbin there by his side.
"and until the end of time, I’ll always make my way back to you".
in parallel, for many decades changbin has been alone. his past was too complex to explain to hyunjin in the short time he had left to live – and it wasn’t a history changbin wanted to face. vampiric laws rooted in a now century-old feud would deem him unallowed to sire a new vampire, but changbin doesn’t care. not when the vampire he’d be creating has hyunjin’s soul. he doesn’t want to think about the consequences that may come and has even outright refused to do so in his haste to save the human before it was too late.
the consequences are nothing in exchange for giving hyunjin life.
(changbin has seen what greed and hate do to people, societies, and even entire bloodlines. the greed of humanity does not leave after one is turned, only provides overwhelming means to act upon it. changbin hates it. he’s always hated the cruelty of humans and vampires, and was more than content to be cast out, forced to live alone under close watch by those who feared him and the power he holds.
the last surviving vampire from a merciless reigning bloodline stained with the blood of other vampires, changbin was meant to be the terminal stop in their coven’s story. he had even sworn to sire no other fledglings into his damned lineage. and truly, he had had every intent on following this promise through… until hyunjin. hyunjin is the first truly good thing changbin has encountered in decades, rising with a natural ease above corruption and the qualities changbin loathed about others.
and for that, hyunjin is worthy of all that changbin can give; even if it means that changbin will end up with nothing but a broken oath).
in the end, all changbin knows is that hyunjin deserves eternity and more to live, and changbin will do anything he could to solidify that fate. he has only known hyunjin for a small fraction of a long lifetime, but he’d do anything, risk anything, for this one boy.
there has never been someone more deserving in the entire world than hyunjin.
because even on his deathbed, hyunjin wishes for nothing more than someone to care for him. he doesn’t long for immortality, like changbin has seen from so many others who previously sought the vampire out in the hopes of being turned. no, he’s always been accepting of his seemingly unavoidable fate. hyunjin always wears that soft smile when changbin is near. he teaches the vampire that the cruelty he has faced is not the only thing in this world. after decades of bitter resentment, changbin has been changed by one human who has barely lived for two decades, compared to changbin’s twenty.
he gives changbin hope.
he gives changbin a reason to live.
he gives changbin a desire to share what has been given to him, and that starts with hyunjin.
“that journey will never be far, I promise you.”
maybe this is why hyunjin was so willing to allow changbin to turn him. so quick to decide that yes, he wanted changbin to do this to him; wanted changbin to kill him so they could spend the rest of his eternity walking the earth together. and eternity, eternity is long - eternity is forever, and hyunjin wouldn't have it any other way.
changbin pulls his fingers away from hyunjin to grip his chin gently, thumb slowly swiping across his bottom lip to collect the leftover blood as an inadvertent whine escapes from hyunjin’s mouth. the movement hardly does anything to clean hyunjin up considering the amount of blood smeared on his face, but then changbin’s offering his thumb to hyunjin once again, placating his fledgling and placing the digit at the seam of hyunjin’s lips. and hyunjin is predictable, visibly finding relief as soon as changbin’s finger is offered, lips pliant as they allow his sire’s thumb to press into his mouth, tongue cleaning any remnants of changbin’s blood on the digit.
perhaps if hyunjin hadn't spent most of his life cooped up in a hospital, needles pressed into his skin, he would have been squeamish about the blood. but to him, it's a natural component of what it means to be terminally ill. and besides, this, this is different. changbin's blood tastes delicious in a different way that sends hyunjin even deeper into that initial heady feeling after tasting even the slightest trace of the red liquid.
“we have to move you out of here soon, little one. and get you into some comfortable clothes.”
the blood is long since gone when hyunjin releases changbin's finger and finally responds to the man; kissing the digit as his lips depart. changbin can feel a fresh wave of tears brimming, even for him the smallest bit of separation is overbearing. the ghost of a touch hyunjin leaves in his wake is almost painful to the sire, desperately afraid that hyunjin may be snatched from right under his nose at any second.
however, the distance doesn't last long and soon enough hyunjin's free hand is reaching up to grab changbin's wrist, pulling it back down to him and pressing his cheek into the palm of the other vampire's hand. he’s like a little koala. humming, hyunjin turns his head to kiss into changbin’s calloused skin, "I like when you call me that - your little one".
yes, hyunjin will always be changbin’s just as changbin will always be his.
it’s evident that hyunjin will adjust well to his new life, gaining lucidity so soon after feeding a telling sign of what will be a healthy, strong vampire.
strong, just like his heart, changbin thinks.
changbin’s palm twitches beneath the kiss to it, and his fingers curl under hyunjin’s chin to tenderly tilt his head upwards. “I only say it because it’s true,” he whispers, leaning in to place a slow, chaste kiss upon hyunjin’s forehead. he wishes there were more he could do to be able to convey his feelings, but he knows hyunjin understands by now.
hyunjin allows the moment to carry on just a little longer, allows himself one extra minute of peace before shifting in the bed, peering up at changbin, "do you even have clothes big enough for me?" in reality, it didn't matter if changbin was twelve centimetres smaller than hyunjin. like this, still in the weakened body of a sick boy no longer sick, his frame is barely larger than changbin's own.
(this of course doesn’t mean that hyunjin won’t tease the other vampire about his height – no, that would never stop. besides, both changbin and hyunjin are keenly aware of changbin’s true strength, and the fact that those twelve centimetres meant nothing in the end).
“I wish I had any clothes for you… but this was all very sudden, I did not prepare very well.” changbin presses a soft kiss to hyunjin’s temple, a hand on the back of his head to cradle him close, before he’s pulling away again. “I will find you clothes, don’t move.” leaving a newly turned vampire alone in a building full of living humans was not a good idea, but seeing as hyunjin couldn’t even stand, changbin figures it’s safe enough. so with vampiric speed, he’s flickering out of the room, a soft click of hyunjin’s door sounding behind him as he leaves.
following his sire’s departure, hyunjin attentively watches the door as he waits for changbin to return, eyes habitually wandering to the bleached white tile adorning the walls. one, two, three, four…. there are thirty-six tiles from the bottom of the door frame to the top. and hyunjin knows from experience that it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for his stomach to roll and bile to coat his tongue in bitter slick on a bad day, bent over and exhausted as he heaves until he can’t breathe anymore. at night it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for him to realise he’s going to die in this room, unloved and alone.
no one will remember he was here (no one wants to remember he was here).
but this time it’s different. this time, it takes hyunjin the same amount of time to count them individually as it does for changbin to return.
(morning threatens to flood the room as rays of sunrise creep across the floor, filtering through the blinds as changbin brings the hope of the emerging sun with him).
changbin’s been visiting the hospital long enough (even before meeting hyunjin) to know where he can find clothes for the younger. he’s stolen blood from the hospital countless times, and feels no remorse when he steals a nurse’s outfit. it’d be enough to get hyunjin back to changbin’s home, where he can get changed into something more comfortable. taking a familiar route, he also pilfers a blood bag for hyunjin before returning to his room, barely gone for more than a minute. placing it and the clothes down next to hyunjin on the bed, changbin moves to stand in front of his new fledgling. “I’m back,” he greets softly with a smile.
forcing his body to sit up, hyunjin finds that his hands are still shaking - with what, he's not quite sure. his legs fall off the edge of the bed, more dead weight than functioning limbs, and hyunjin looks wryly up at changbin, returning a half-smile, "I think you're going to have to help me get dressed… and get up". with time, hyunjin's body would become stronger, but as it is of now, his body is still frail, legs unused to supporting his own weight after so many bedridden months; strength further weakened by his recent turning.
(despite it all, hyunjin can feel the slow pulse of blood-borne power course through his veins. blood given to him by his sire. changbin's blood. and it feels right, like it belonged there all along).
as hyunjin moves, changbin watches with curious fascination, wishfully hoping he would be able to see the newly turned vampire stand and walk—but this is all new to changbin as well. he has never turned anyone, could hardly remember his own turning enough to recall the process and what it was like. he almost frowns when hyunjin can’t stand, and changbin is up in a second, flickering to stand by hyunjin and place a hand on his shoulder and guide him back down to the edge of the hospital bed.
“do not force yourself, hyunjin,” concern is pouring out of his voice, an irrational fear tugging at him that hyunjin’s body was never going to recover from years of sickness, even with vampirism. he knows it is not true, but the fear is there all the same. however, there’s no time to dwell on his fears. morning was approaching fast and they needed to get hyunjin out of the hospital before his nurse came by for his morning check-in.
gently, changbin’s hands reach behind hyunjin’s neck to rest on the strings holding his hospital gown together, a question falling from his lips. “may i?”
he’s seen much of hyunjin’s body, whether to help him use the bathroom during the night or help him change, but changbin wouldn’t dare strip him bare without asking. not that hyunjin would ever refuse him, changbin has seen hyunjin at his weakest and hyunjin no longer has anything to hide from the man. so it’s easy for hyunjin to answer changbin’s inquiry, wordlessly tilting his head down to expose the nape of his neck and allow changbin to pull away the gown and replace it with proper clothing.
changbin is gentle as he helps hyunjin get dressed, kissing at his wrists, his ankles, his knees, and finally his lips once he’s fully clothed. it’s strange to see hyunjin in somewhat normal clothes, strange to associate hyunjin with something more akin to healthy. however, the sight makes changbin all the more eager to see hyunjin outside of a hospital setting, in normal, soft clothes rather than a nurse’s sterile scrubs.
and this shared intimacy isn’t anything new for either of them. they’ve been this close so many times before, but now, hyunjin can smell something new, a scent that radiates warmth and comfort that falls off changbin in soothing waves. and oh. realisation hits. oh. the scent is changbin, and he smells so so good. instinctually, hyunjin starts to lean forward to chase after the calming scent (to chase after changbin) only for changbin to pull back slightly, a question leaving the man’s mouth followed by an offered hand that stops hyunjin’s heart for a second time that day.
“are you ready to leave this place behind, little one? I promise you, once we leave you will become so strong, you’ll never have to set foot in here again.”
changbin holds a hand out to hyunjin, willing him to take it, to finally choose to leave. he knows the choice hyunjin is going to make, but he wants to see the light in hyunjin’s eyes. that glint that yearns for something more beyond these white tiled walls. there’s a new life waiting for hyunjin, and for changbin too. although he’s lived countless lives, changbin feels like this one will be the first one truly worth living.
and hyunjin wants. hyunjin wants so much. for once, hyunjin knows exactly what he wants. or maybe he’s always known what he wanted, but was just too scared to truly wish for something that could never come true. was too scared to face a reality that told him he was better off dead.
for once, hyunjin wants nothing more than to live. wants to exist beyond the confines of this sterile coffin of a hospital bed he’s been rotting inside for so many years; the lid nailed so tightly shut that the sounds of hyunjin’s nails scratching at the inside are nothing but a cold breeze that passes by the rest of the world on a winter day. god, does hyunjin want.
and even if he’s changed now, at the core of it all, hyunjin is still only human.
so given the choice, he does what any human would do.
he reaches out, grasping for the choice to live over the choice of death; hand finding changbin’s and looking up at the man as if he has single-handedly set the earth in motion after a lifetime of stagnation.
“please,” hyunjin’s voice is trembling, thick with wet emotion, “take me away. take me home with you”.
bright happiness blossoms in changbin’s heart as hyunjin reaches out and takes changbin’s hand, willing the vampire to whisk him away to their new lives. however, the newly bloomed euphoria within changbin’s chest is fleeting, its petals quickly tainted with an unexpected fear upon hearing hyunjin’s request for a home.
home.
changbin has never truly considered the prison of a mansion he has been shoved into as his home. it makes him dread hyunjin’s reaction upon their arrival, much of the building unkempt and empty, full of cobwebs and dust; even the spaces that were occupied holding few personal belongings. would- could hyunjin truly think of such a place as his home?
yet changbin’s fear is coupled with hope, hope that the two of them could turn it into a home. perhaps changbin can leave his demons behind him (a futile, but oh so lovely thought).
hyunjin’s presence alone will bring much life to the cold, dreary halls of the mansion, changbin thinks.
as if signalling the start of their new life together, hyunjin summons what strength he can as he pulls himself up and towards changbin, stumbling into the vampire with legs that give up almost as soon as they attempt to hold him up. it’s foolish and he should know better, but in the end it doesn’t matter. hyunjin knows changbin will be there to catch him when he inevitably falls.
and when their eyes meet and changbin catches the newborn fawn in his arms (bodies pressed close enough for changbin to feel the new warmth emanating from hyunjin’s body), changbin’s panic simmers. whatever his past, he and hyunjin can start anew, take changbin’s prison and turn it into a home.
it should be alarming, how easily changbin is assuaged by the light and life within hyunjin’s gaze. but he’s too caught up in the beauty of it all to truly mind, falling willingly into the overwhelming love hyunjin provides. so changbin smiles, the image of his little light outside of these walls urging him to whisk hyunjin away.
as if a fairytale, this is the beginning of their happily ever after.
☾✵
at last changbin cradles the new vampire in his arms. he’s still exceedingly careful not to overwhelm or exhaust hyunjin and they take a small break, changbin gingerly sitting down on a secluded park bench away from any wandering humans. (because even if hyunjin was weak, he was still thirsty within a matter of minutes after leaving the hospital and posed a threat to curious humans should they get too close). head nestled into changbin’s lap, hyunjin’s thin, neverending, legs stretch out to cover the rest of the bench, body needing rest despite the short duration of the journey.
sun still yet to fully rise, it’s dark enough for the streetlight next to the bench to be activated, casting a gentle glow upon hyunjin’s cheeks. changbin shifts, angling himself between hyunjin and the light, so that his eyes do not hurt from the brightness. it casts a shadow over his face, but he can still see hyunjin clearly in the slowly rising sun.
under changbin’s watchful gaze, hyunjin downs his first gulp from the blood bag changbin had taken from the hospital, eager to drink what he can and clear the heady feeling from earlier that has begun to cloud hyunjin’s cognition once again. simultaneously, one of changbin’s hands cradles the back of hyunjin’s neck while he drinks from the blood bag, the other settled protectively on his thigh, thumbing little circles along the starchy fabric of the fledgling’s stolen pants.
hyunjin’s first drink is messy, bitter taste of the bagged blood coating his tongue and dribbling from the torn bag onto his fingers and down his emaciated arms. amusement colours changbin’s expression as he watches the boy feed only to for concern and worry to mar his features shortly after, newfound panic obvious in his voice. “hyunjin? what is it?”
drinking the blood bag is evidently a mistake as mere seconds after consuming his first drink hyunjin’s stomach is rolling, protesting as he gags, half heaving any traces of the bagged blood from his mouth. he retches, breathless and pained, “tastes so bad”. this is nothing like the sweetness of changbin’s blood that he had drank a mere hour ago.
hyunjin looks up at changbin from his seated position, eyes wet as desperate hunger takes control, “binnie please. can’t”. with his free hand hyunjin is reaching out to changbin, trying to tug him close, finding his teeth pressed against changbin’s wrist for the second time that day as he tries to bite into the skin; a useless effort considering his fangs have predictably not yet grown in the short time since they left the hospital.
(it’s a sight that will become common during hyunjin’s first month as a vampire, a desperate need to feed that ultimately isn’t enough for him to forgo changbin’s blood in favour of blood from humans).
and changbin has never seen such a visceral reaction to blood from any vampire, it makes changbin concerned that his turning has not taken–
but perhaps it’s because changbin was the first being hyunjin had fed from, leaving the newly created fledgling unable to easily downgrade to human blood after being so spoilt. the older vampire knows his bloodline has always preferred to feed from members of their own kind (years upon years of being used and passed around by his maker amongst their coven had taught him that), but it is not a necessity – at least, it never was for changbin (not that he’s had a choice, being the last of his bloodline until now).
still, he has never rejected human blood in the way hyunjin is.
hyunjin’s eyes are worrying blown as he looks up at changbin, not quite lost but not entirely there either. it’s like whiplash – to see hyunjin so functional one moment and already teetering on the brink of needy bloodlust the next.
reluctant as a child giving up their favourite treat, hyunjin pulls back from changbin’s arm, uselessly licking at the human indented bite mark pressed into his sire’s arm, whining softly as he makes eye contact with changbin, “please I’m hungry”.
the solution is obvious, changbin does not hesitate. if changbin’s blood is what he needs, then changbin is more than willing to let him have it. perhaps it is better that way, he thinks as he bites a new wound in his wrist, offering it to the boy to take. there are horrible things changbin has done in his need for sustenance, and he doesn’t think hyunjin could handle taking life from a human in order to save his own. changbin will not let that happen, with such a perfect alternative coursing through his own body.
besides, the intimacy he feels upon sharing his blood with hyunjin is something he has never felt before, gaze softening as he watches his messy little fledgling once again feed from him. yes, hyunjin is clearly out of it, eyes unfocused and glittering with unshed tears and pleas falling from his lips. but the intimacy is there, and being able to share his own life force with hyunjin brings him a pleasure he never wants to let go of.
changbin does not wish for hyunjin to become dependent on him, no (he wants to see hyunjin flourish, to watch the fire in him blaze as bright as the sun someday), but perhaps even changbin can be a little selfish when he thinks that he wants for hyunjin to feed from nothing but him.
“shh, it’s okay, you’re alright,” he murmurs encouragingly, “when your fangs come in, you will never have to beg again.” he lets out a quiet hiss when hyunjin’s teeth catch on the wound, biting his lip when a soft tongue follows it up to lap at the blood still leaking from the punctures. “you’ll be able to satisfy your need to bite, won’t you? until then, I won’t deny you what you need most, little one.”
changbin’s blood-embodied ambrosia brings much needed relief to hyunjin’s bloodlust, the newly-turned fledgling already beginning to come back into himself after the first lathe of his tongue across changbin’s bloodied skin. his eyes are shut, blindly nosing against the bloodied mess he’s left across changbin’s wrist. and maybe the movement is only half-conscious, the other half ruled by now-instinctual affection towards his sire, but in a mirror image to his feeding at the hospital, he presses chapped lips against supple skin. painting soft delicate kisses across the expanse, hyunjin’s tongue slips from between his lips to lap at the remnants of his feed as his thoughts steady and his mind clears.
but even as his mind clears there’s a weight in hyunjin’s chest that refuses to dissipate. it’s belied by unease, the fledgling finding himself standing in a tilted world where he’s swaying perilously on an emotional precipice.
if before hyunjin had lived in a world where atlas had long since abandoned the weight of the sky, changbin was the single man who had come to replace the immense titan and bear the burden of hyunjin’s world on his shoulders. changbin had saved hyunjin from a destiny spun by the three fates, had saved him from a world that was collapsing around him yet didn’t seem to give two shits that hyunjin was still alive and breathing.
and maybe that’s what’s ironic about the situation. even as the world came down around hyunjin and he was brought to death’s front door, he couldn’t bring himself to care.
not because he no longer wished to live. no.
hyunjin could witness the world crumble around him without even the slightest hint of fear because he knew that changbin would be there for him. that changbin would protect him even as the ground fell away from beneath his feet. even in death, hyunjin would be safe with changbin. even in death, changbin would gift hyunjin life.
safety comes in the form of changbin himself, and even if hyunjin cannot understand what changbin is saying to him at the height of this brain-fogged frenzy, he knows beyond doubt that he is safe with this man. changbin tells him he will never need to beg again, but it’s for naught because when it comes to changbin, hyunjin would get down on his knees and beg endlessly should it ever be requested. changbin will forever be safe and the devotion that instills in hyunjin will not change even if hyunjin is on his knees.
(hyunjin would die for changbin. has died for changbin and would do it a thousand times over).
the weight in hyunjin’s heart refuses to ease but it’s not a “bad” weight. hyunjin’s heart hurts. it aches and mourns until rivulets of blood-sullied tears are dripping from his closed eyes and onto changbin’s already stained skin.
hyunjin’s heart hurts, feels as if it might burst and split into two because of one simple fact: for once, he feels safe in a world where never before has hyunjin ever felt safe.
☾✵
the blood changbin has been feeding hyunjin during his cravings along their journey seems to have restored bits of the fledgling’s original strength; the only remaining physical inadequacies in place due to the inherent limitations of his muscles (which have long since atrophied during his stay at the hospital). but still, hyunjin finds the strength to stand as they approach the looming mansion, hand clutching changbin’s tightly, one foot following the next.
(it’s something he hasn’t done in weeks, even at the hospital).
more than anything, hyunjin wishes to cross the threshold of changbin’s home, of his home, on his own two feet. wants to set a precedence for this second chance at life he’s been given. a precedence that will tell the world, and more importantly himself that in this new life, hyunjin is resilient, is strong, and nothing (much less a set of stairs) is going to stand in his way.
entering the home, the first thing that hyunjin notices is the stark lack of changbin’s presence. it’s almost dollhouse-like, void of characteristic beyond that which was established by the house itself. a few steps in and he stumbles a little, his free hand quickly reaching out and gripping onto an entryway sidetable only to come back with fingertips powdered in dust, a soft laugh slipping from his mouth – the first since he had been turned, “we’re going to need to clean up a bit”.
there’s a faint scent that catches hyunjin’s attention as he continues into the house, fingers still intertwined with changbin’s as he pursues the familiar smell. it takes him to a nondescript bedroom, and even if there’s little here to indicate that any living (or dead) being has spent time inside, that scent is still there. releasing changbin’s hand, hyunjin falls into the folds of the bed’s comforter, nose pressing into the soft pillow shoved against the headboard and it finally occurs to him just exactly what this scent is.
it’s changbin.
a deep inhale and hyunjin’s eyes flutter shut, pressing his face even deeper into the pillow and letting out quiet whine that somehow manages to veer on the edge of predatorial. voice muffled, he finally speaks once again, “smells like you, like home”. and hyunjin’s sitting up, beckoning changbin over to the edge of the bed and wrapping his arms around the vampire’s waist, pulling him in close, “‘m finally home. finally, finally home”. he looks up to changbin, smile bright as the sun, “thank you for bringing me home”